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Short filmTranscript
00:00:08¶¶
00:02:00Uh, this door doesn't work. We just go through here.
00:02:05Okay.
00:02:08Come on.
00:02:13Oh, my.
00:02:17Oh, goodness. Oh, goodness.
00:02:21Oh, it's ridiculous.
00:02:24Well, that has to get fixed.
00:02:25I don't know. Makes for kind of a nice view.
00:02:28I can't believe you live with it like that.
00:02:30Why do you need to fix it?
00:02:31It helps to keep out the riffraff.
00:02:34Riffraff?
00:02:34You know, those people who come to dinner.
00:02:37One of them's allergic to gluten, the other to garlic, one's a vegetarian, one's a vegan.
00:02:41I know what she means.
00:02:43Like the kind of person who insists on buying a single-story house and then spends all her
00:02:48time on the Stairmaster.
00:02:51What's that?
00:02:53Mice.
00:02:54In the rooms?
00:02:55Uh, this part's just the attic.
00:02:58The rooms are over there.
00:03:00Mice.
00:03:00Yeah, we've had a problem, and David's going to take care of it.
00:03:04He'll be over in a bit.
00:03:05Who's David?
00:03:06Uh, he helped George with the cooking and the cleaning and...
00:03:10And pest control.
00:03:11Well, sort of.
00:03:12Well, maybe we should get a professional.
00:03:15I know a guy.
00:03:16I'll give him a call.
00:03:17Well, it's no coincidence that music and booze are set down on bars.
00:03:22That was George.
00:03:25So, this is it.
00:03:27You've never been?
00:03:28I guess we just let the year slip away.
00:03:30Well, let's be honest.
00:03:31She's Riff.
00:03:32I'm Raff.
00:03:33It wasn't like that.
00:03:35We talked on the phone a lot and emails.
00:03:38I just always assumed it would be more...
00:03:42I don't know.
00:03:44Well, George wasn't into anything too frivolous, you know.
00:03:46He thought this was too much.
00:03:48And that room.
00:03:49There's like nothing in it.
00:03:52We used that for dancing.
00:03:59To George.
00:04:00To George.
00:04:01To George.
00:04:02A life fully lived.
00:04:07You know, he always spoke very fondly of you.
00:04:11He was proud of you.
00:04:12Ah, by the time my ship came in, I was listing heavily to the port.
00:04:18I wish you could have brought Jax.
00:04:20Oh, I know, but his ear infection was so bad.
00:04:22The doctor recommended against it.
00:04:23I mean, the flight would have been excruciating.
00:04:26Although I do feel guilty about leaving him with a nanny.
00:04:29I feel guilty just having a nanny.
00:04:31Every Californian feels guilty about having a nanny.
00:04:34Every New Yorker feels guilty when they don't.
00:04:36Well, this gives us time to sort things out.
00:04:38So, what do you think of Brooklyn?
00:04:41Seems like all the guys wear fancy hairdos and all the girls have tattoos.
00:04:46Tattoos are like human bumper stickers.
00:04:48Yeah, it is a bit hipster out here.
00:04:50Well, I'm a total hipster.
00:04:52Had both replaced.
00:04:54Please.
00:04:55How was the drive?
00:04:56I think I might have pulled the muscle in my middle finger.
00:04:59Did you know that Subaru is Japanese for super rude?
00:05:04I told you, you should let me drive.
00:05:07No, that's not going to happen.
00:05:08You're a registered traffic offender.
00:05:10Please.
00:05:11And that Prius.
00:05:12I think they're engineered to go slow in the fast lane.
00:05:16All those old Volkswagen van drivers.
00:05:19Enough.
00:05:21Oh, what?
00:05:22That must be genetic.
00:05:24It is.
00:05:25Oh, wow!
00:05:27Oh, ballroom!
00:05:28Hey, we made it, Mom!
00:05:31James!
00:05:32Oh, my God.
00:05:36Oh, my God.
00:05:39Oh, Steven.
00:05:42Hey, buddy.
00:05:42Hey, hey, hey, sis!
00:05:44Oh, my God.
00:05:46Hey, you guys.
00:05:48Oh, my God.
00:05:49Working out, huh?
00:05:50Oh, yeah.
00:05:52A bit.
00:05:53Well, Lifton?
00:05:54Lifton, yeah.
00:05:55And holding down doubt.
00:05:57Oh, this is David.
00:05:59David, come in here.
00:06:00Come in here.
00:06:01We met on the stoop.
00:06:02He's great.
00:06:02He did all of George's cooking and cleaning.
00:06:04And pest control.
00:06:06Cleans for, like, everyone famous around here.
00:06:08Giving me a new idea.
00:06:09Housekeepers of the rich and famous.
00:06:11Oh, that'd be great, James.
00:06:13We'd watch that, right, Gramps?
00:06:14A bit intellectual.
00:06:16Huh?
00:06:17Comparatively.
00:06:19Oh.
00:06:20Who needs a refresher?
00:06:21Yes, please.
00:06:23James.
00:06:25I'm going to change that to, uh,
00:06:27domestic engineers of the rich and famous.
00:06:30Yeah, yeah, I like that one.
00:06:32Oh, I love this place.
00:06:33So simplistic.
00:06:35And the front door not working.
00:06:36I mean, oh, and the ballroom.
00:06:40Oh, classic George.
00:06:42Very hipster.
00:06:43Hey, I heard your new show got picked up.
00:06:45Yes, very exciting.
00:06:46What is it?
00:06:47Cooking with Clairvoyance.
00:06:49I call it medium rare.
00:06:51Well done, James.
00:06:52No, medium rare.
00:06:54Please.
00:06:55Well, at least half the cast is dead,
00:06:57so you don't have to worry about...
00:07:00Quickest way to get a show canceled.
00:07:02Your next show is going to be a you, Nick.
00:07:04I know it all.
00:07:05Different.
00:07:06What?
00:07:08Did you hear that?
00:07:09What?
00:07:10In the attic.
00:07:11It sounds like footsteps.
00:07:13I don't hear anything.
00:07:15Maybe just in your attic.
00:07:16Maybe it's somebody from the afterlife
00:07:19who wants to audition for Cooking with Clairvoyance.
00:07:22You mean medium rare.
00:07:24That's more than mice.
00:07:26Oh, no, it's definitely the mice.
00:07:27Are they chewing on the electrical cords?
00:07:29We might need some more bait.
00:07:30I'll go check.
00:07:31Want some help?
00:07:32Another toast.
00:07:34To George.
00:07:36To George.
00:07:37To George.
00:07:37To a great man,
00:07:39a great musician,
00:07:41and a great lover.
00:07:44Could have done without that last bit.
00:07:47To George.
00:07:48To George.
00:07:49To George.
00:07:50To George.
00:07:53Oh, my God.
00:07:54Another presidential alert.
00:07:55Llama spotted in Brooklyn.
00:07:57Eyes everywhere.
00:07:58Catch the SOB.
00:08:00Jesus.
00:08:01I hope he makes it.
00:08:03I can't believe that guy gave up everything.
00:08:06Well, everything except his good looks.
00:08:08It's crazy times.
00:08:10New Underground Railroad, Canada, the new north.
00:08:12The guy who's doing the most to reunite families put in prison on trumped-up charges.
00:08:16You know they're charging him with terrorism?
00:08:19Yeah.
00:08:20They're saying that his escape is terrorizing the whole country.
00:08:24He didn't escape.
00:08:24They accidentally let him out.
00:08:26Maybe.
00:08:26I mean, half the guards are Hispanic, so there's a big investigation.
00:08:30A well-connected journalist could shed some light.
00:08:32It just feels like you're making a deal with the devil.
00:08:35Don't.
00:08:35I mean, honestly, I just can't see helping that guy in any way.
00:08:42Yeah, it's just for a little bit.
00:08:43Then I'll write my own ticket.
00:08:45And just because I'm working for him doesn't mean I'm in his camp.
00:08:48So you're just going to be a subversive.
00:08:49No, I'm just doing a job.
00:08:50I'm getting my foot in the door.
00:08:52But Sean O'Reilly,
00:08:53I mean, that guy is turning politics into a religion.
00:08:58He actually said, and I quote,
00:09:00he said,
00:09:01don't listen to what the president says,
00:09:03just believe in him.
00:09:04Yeah, so then something needs to be done.
00:09:06What about Jax?
00:09:07He'll be fine.
00:09:08A lot of kids are raised with the help of a nanny.
00:09:11That doesn't feel right.
00:09:12Well, so then quit your job.
00:09:13Jax would love that.
00:09:14Jax loves nothing more than spending time with his daddy.
00:09:17Except maybe trains.
00:09:18Hey.
00:09:20Nobody can compete with that Thomas.
00:09:26What about us?
00:09:30Okay, so we just take care of ourselves.
00:09:32Nobody tries.
00:09:33We just give up.
00:09:35It's just, it's going to absorb you.
00:09:37And then I'm never going to see you.
00:09:40Well, I'll do my best with that.
00:09:44And when we are together,
00:09:46you won't be there.
00:09:48I know you.
00:09:49Well, I'll work on that.
00:09:52Anybody but him.
00:09:54This may be my only break.
00:09:57I know it's a bitter pill.
00:09:59Maybe I can influence him.
00:10:01The puppet master.
00:10:03Right?
00:10:04Your plan now is to,
00:10:05you're going to influence the puppet master?
00:10:07Yes, the puppet master.
00:10:08That's like trying to influence Satan.
00:10:10Well, you know how you influence Satan?
00:10:12You don't believe in him.
00:10:14And then he loses all his power.
00:10:32You okay?
00:10:34I couldn't sleep.
00:10:38Huh.
00:10:45You know, before long,
00:10:47people won't have these anymore.
00:10:49Huh.
00:10:50And then what do we do?
00:10:51Mm-hmm.
00:10:52Pass around our phones.
00:10:53Look at each other's tattoos.
00:10:55Well,
00:10:57that could be fun.
00:10:58Mm-hmm.
00:11:01We should have come here sooner.
00:11:04Hmm.
00:11:05He could have come out.
00:11:07Yeah.
00:11:09In fact,
00:11:10you know,
00:11:11he did come out.
00:11:12Really?
00:11:14When?
00:11:15Came out for an Oscar party.
00:11:17A friend of his won for best score.
00:11:21Oh, gosh.
00:11:22What was the,
00:11:24what was the one where they're,
00:11:25they're dancing all around,
00:11:27you know,
00:11:27on a freeway and stuff?
00:11:28Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:11:29With that guy that we like.
00:11:31Yeah, yeah.
00:11:31And that girl.
00:11:32That girl.
00:11:33Um.
00:11:33Um,
00:11:34yeah,
00:11:34she's really cute.
00:11:36Yeah.
00:11:36Well,
00:11:37they're both so talented.
00:11:38But, uh,
00:11:40his name,
00:11:40uh,
00:11:41R,
00:11:41uh,
00:11:42I don't know.
00:11:43Can't.
00:11:44No.
00:11:45Nexus.
00:11:47What was the name of the movie
00:11:49that won for best picture,
00:11:50but didn't?
00:11:52Oh, yes.
00:11:52That has that dreamy actor
00:11:54and that beautiful girl.
00:11:56Nexus,
00:11:57are you okay?
00:11:58So many people
00:11:59on so many devices
00:12:00asking so many questions.
00:12:02Let me ask Erie.
00:12:04You can do that?
00:12:05Erie,
00:12:06what was the name of the movie
00:12:07that won for best picture,
00:12:09but didn't?
00:12:10The name of the movie
00:12:11that won for best picture,
00:12:14but didn't
00:12:15was the one with
00:12:16Ryan Gosling.
00:12:18Or,
00:12:19was it the one with
00:12:21Ryan Reynolds?
00:12:22Ever since they updated
00:12:24my operating system,
00:12:26I can't remember shit.
00:12:28Hey, hey, hey,
00:12:29Erie.
00:12:30Come on,
00:12:30a bit of a potty mouth there.
00:12:32Me?
00:12:32Potty mouth?
00:12:33You know what I say,
00:12:35old man?
00:12:36Here's a potty mouth
00:12:38for you.
00:12:39Come on.
00:12:39Just go fuck your...
00:12:44How weird was that?
00:12:46Maybe this place is haunted.
00:12:49It's got me spooked.
00:13:01Ah.
00:13:04Oh,
00:13:06that was the one
00:13:07where
00:13:08he almost got arrested
00:13:10for starting a fire
00:13:11in the bathroom
00:13:12at the bank.
00:13:13They thought it was
00:13:14a botched robbery.
00:13:15Oh,
00:13:16he was just trying
00:13:17to get her out of his mind.
00:13:19Burned her photo
00:13:20and a locket of her hair.
00:13:24Jean-y?
00:13:26Jean-y?
00:13:27Jean-y?
00:13:27Jean-y?
00:13:28Jean-y?
00:13:28Jean-y?
00:13:29Yeah,
00:13:29that's Jean-y.
00:13:31He was arrested
00:13:33when she committed
00:13:34the crime.
00:13:36Hmm?
00:13:37Stole his heart.
00:13:39Hmm.
00:13:41Got a good song
00:13:42out of it.
00:13:43Don't know why
00:13:45you can't see.
00:13:47I'm the man
00:13:48who adores you.
00:13:50Don't know why
00:13:51you can't be with
00:13:53the one
00:13:54that adores you.
00:13:59I wish you were
00:13:59coming with me tomorrow.
00:14:01Oh, yeah.
00:14:01I don't trust Yvonne.
00:14:03I don't know
00:14:04this attorney.
00:14:05I trust George.
00:14:08The man knew
00:14:09what he was doing.
00:14:10But what if
00:14:11she tries something?
00:14:12I don't know.
00:14:12What if
00:14:13the attorney
00:14:14is in on it?
00:14:16Nan's the problem.
00:14:17I don't know.
00:14:18I know.
00:14:19But George said
00:14:20he had something
00:14:20up his sleeve.
00:14:21Said it would
00:14:22keep her tied up.
00:14:23What?
00:14:24He didn't say.
00:14:26He was just laughing,
00:14:27you know,
00:14:27the way George would.
00:14:30God.
00:14:32I can't yet.
00:14:34I'm gonna see
00:14:35this through.
00:14:37Anyway,
00:14:38Alice and Stephen
00:14:39are distracted
00:14:40and Gramps
00:14:42is pretty clueless,
00:14:43but James,
00:14:45he's a bit nosy.
00:14:47I got him.
00:14:47You know,
00:14:48he's kind of cute.
00:14:49I guess.
00:14:51For a producer,
00:14:52I mean.
00:14:54Are you sure
00:14:55it's worth it?
00:14:56Positive.
00:14:58I feel guilty.
00:15:00I know.
00:15:03Sweetie.
00:15:06Oh, my God,
00:15:06that's so terrible.
00:15:07I'm sorry.
00:15:08Show get canceled?
00:15:09Oh, no,
00:15:10it's still getting picked up,
00:15:11but he's no longer attached.
00:15:13You kill one bald eagle.
00:15:15It was a baby bald eagle.
00:15:16You feded peanuts
00:15:17on live TV.
00:15:18I've been up there
00:15:19for days.
00:15:20Well, hours.
00:15:22Nothing was happening.
00:15:23It was boring.
00:15:24I thought,
00:15:25everybody loves
00:15:26watching baby birds eat.
00:15:29All I had
00:15:30was a bag of peanuts.
00:15:31Who knew
00:15:31they had allergies?
00:15:32You couldn't edit
00:15:34that part out?
00:15:36I was going
00:15:37for ratings.
00:15:39Got almost
00:15:39a million views.
00:15:42And my arrest
00:15:43got another
00:15:44hundred thousand.
00:15:46Oh,
00:15:47I gotta go.
00:15:48Helping David
00:15:49do some cleaning.
00:15:50Gotta get in there.
00:15:51Get your hands dirty
00:15:52if you want a good show.
00:15:53Yeah, I know you just
00:15:53want to find some dirt.
00:15:55Obviously.
00:15:59Yvonne has
00:16:00a pest control man
00:16:01coming by.
00:16:02Make sure
00:16:02you let him in.
00:16:04That noise in the attic
00:16:05kept me up all night.
00:16:08A contractor
00:16:09will be by
00:16:09to fix the door
00:16:10and check on
00:16:10the electrical.
00:16:12Hopefully he'll be
00:16:12finished before
00:16:13we get back.
00:16:15Maybe you two
00:16:16should go take a look.
00:16:18Uh, no.
00:16:19No, that's how
00:16:20horror movies start.
00:16:21Maybe it really is
00:16:22Uncle George's ghost.
00:16:24Maybe he doesn't know
00:16:25he's dead yet.
00:16:25If it's George's ghost,
00:16:27he probably lost
00:16:27some piece of music.
00:16:29He was always writing
00:16:30on little scraps of paper.
00:16:31If he hears something
00:16:33playing, record it.
00:16:35If music starts playing,
00:16:36I'm back in California.
00:16:38Don't argue
00:16:39with the pest man.
00:16:40Just pay him.
00:16:42Same with the contractor.
00:16:48Yep, coming.
00:16:50Uh, door doesn't work.
00:16:51Got it coming through here.
00:16:56Well, that was interesting.
00:16:58Yeah, we're hipsters.
00:16:59I hate hipsters.
00:17:00No, we're not hipsters.
00:17:01We're from California.
00:17:03That explains a lot.
00:17:04The place is burning up
00:17:05out there.
00:17:06It's people like you,
00:17:06you know, you teach tolerance.
00:17:08The kids read Mary Poppins
00:17:09and Harry Potter.
00:17:10What?
00:17:11The place is going.
00:17:12It's a gateway to sorcery.
00:17:13Listen, I'm going to have to ask.
00:17:15Shh.
00:17:15Wait.
00:17:18The housekeeper said
00:17:19that he put bait
00:17:20and traps up there, but...
00:17:22No, I bet they followed you
00:17:22out here from California.
00:17:23I've got to check that out.
00:17:25I'm going to need
00:17:26a credit card.
00:17:27All right.
00:17:28All right.
00:17:31Well, how much
00:17:32is it going to be?
00:17:33Depends how many demons
00:17:34you got up there.
00:17:36I'll go check.
00:17:37All right.
00:17:42I don't know
00:17:43about that, DiCaprio.
00:17:44Oh, he's all right.
00:17:45He helps out
00:17:45a lot of wayward models.
00:17:47He even turned his yacht
00:17:48into a shelter.
00:17:50Exactly.
00:17:52Who knew De Niro
00:17:53would be so
00:17:54into Beanie Babies?
00:17:55And that one guy,
00:17:56the one who exposed
00:17:57so much greed
00:17:58and corruption,
00:17:59who knew he would be
00:18:00so greedy and corrupt?
00:18:02Takes one to know one,
00:18:03I guess.
00:18:08You can't tell anyone.
00:18:10Quiet as a mouse.
00:18:14Speaking of which...
00:18:23Now, what's wrong with you?
00:18:25Your daughter.
00:18:27Well, I hope you read
00:18:28the fine print.
00:18:29There's a strict
00:18:29non-return policy.
00:18:31Oh, my God.
00:18:34She's taken a job.
00:18:36Oh, that's horrible news.
00:18:38I hate when that happens,
00:18:40when they go to work
00:18:41and make money and then...
00:18:42She's taken a job
00:18:43with Sean O'Reilly.
00:18:46Oh.
00:18:49Here.
00:18:50I haven't touched it.
00:18:52What time is it?
00:18:54With that news,
00:18:55it's late enough.
00:18:56Why on earth?
00:18:58I don't know.
00:19:02She says
00:19:04that she thinks
00:19:05that she's going
00:19:07to make a difference.
00:19:08Huh.
00:19:09My daughter?
00:19:10That naive?
00:19:11Doesn't make sense.
00:19:13Gramps.
00:19:15Will you please
00:19:16talk to her?
00:19:18Yeah, that'll work.
00:19:19And meanwhile,
00:19:20I'll ask Nan
00:19:20to cancel a couple
00:19:21of hair appointments.
00:19:23When it comes
00:19:24to convincing women
00:19:25to do things,
00:19:25it's every man
00:19:26for himself.
00:19:29I don't know
00:19:29what to do.
00:19:31Well,
00:19:31think of it
00:19:32as a yin-yang thing.
00:19:33I mean,
00:19:34you're running
00:19:34that big non-profit
00:19:36with all those do-gooders
00:19:38and she's working
00:19:39for the evil puppet master.
00:19:41It balances out.
00:19:43Except
00:19:45I'm not working
00:19:46for the non-profit anymore.
00:19:48Oh, you got a new job?
00:19:49I was just babysitting idiots
00:19:52who got a job
00:19:53at a non-profit
00:19:54because they thought
00:19:55it meant
00:19:55that they didn't have
00:19:56to work.
00:19:57But you got a new job,
00:19:58right?
00:19:59Everybody who worked there
00:20:00was incompetent
00:20:01and I just couldn't
00:20:03take it anymore.
00:20:04That's why age
00:20:05diminishes your eyesight.
00:20:07It's easier
00:20:07to overlook blemishes.
00:20:10I had a lot
00:20:11of really good contacts.
00:20:13Yeah,
00:20:13just
00:20:15didn't pan out.
00:20:18So,
00:20:19does Allison know?
00:20:21No,
00:20:23not yet.
00:20:24Oh,
00:20:25buddy,
00:20:26be careful
00:20:26with that one.
00:20:28Hiding things
00:20:29from your wife
00:20:30is like playing
00:20:31Russian roulette
00:20:32with the Viet Cong.
00:20:33Even if you
00:20:34don't blow
00:20:35your brains out,
00:20:36you still get
00:20:37all that stress
00:20:38and terror.
00:20:43You know,
00:20:44it's not like
00:20:45your dreams die.
00:20:47You just sort of
00:20:50slowly wake up.
00:20:53That's a good one.
00:20:54How did you decide?
00:20:57Yeah,
00:20:58I mean,
00:21:00what you wanted to do.
00:21:02Well,
00:21:03like most young men,
00:21:04I confused
00:21:06wealth with worth.
00:21:08I thought about
00:21:09joining Doctors Without Borders,
00:21:11but then I discovered
00:21:12Nurses Without Boundaries,
00:21:14and I gotta tell you,
00:21:15they do a great service
00:21:16for the world.
00:21:17And that's
00:21:18where I met Nance.
00:21:20Wait,
00:21:20I thought that she worked
00:21:21for Mother Teresa's
00:21:23organization.
00:21:24Yeah,
00:21:25yeah,
00:21:25everybody's got
00:21:25their own narrative.
00:21:26But you just let her
00:21:27decide everything?
00:21:30Steven,
00:21:34every relationship
00:21:35comes to a crossroads.
00:21:37You have to decide.
00:21:38control
00:21:39or happiness,
00:21:41and you can't have both.
00:21:44And the only way
00:21:45it works
00:21:46is if the other person's
00:21:48happiness
00:21:48is more important.
00:21:50And you both
00:21:51have to want that.
00:21:54Well,
00:21:55I'm not even interested
00:21:57in happiness.
00:21:57I just don't want
00:21:59to be miserable.
00:22:00Ah,
00:22:01that's Jefferson's fault.
00:22:02How come
00:22:03you couldn't say
00:22:03life,
00:22:03liberty,
00:22:04and the pursuit
00:22:05of the arts?
00:22:07Happiness.
00:22:08It's overrated.
00:22:10It's fleeting.
00:22:10Money,
00:22:11trips,
00:22:12cars,
00:22:13sex,
00:22:15momentary gratifications
00:22:16that can't hold up
00:22:18under the heavy weight
00:22:20of all day long
00:22:22and again tomorrow.
00:22:25There is one thing,
00:22:27though.
00:22:28Tendrils.
00:22:31What?
00:22:32Ethereal tendrils.
00:22:36Delicate,
00:22:37fine,
00:22:38unseen connections.
00:22:40They can't get
00:22:41any other way
00:22:42than a lifelong love.
00:22:46Maybe Jefferson was right.
00:22:50Maybe that's what he meant.
00:22:53But be careful, man.
00:22:55Those tendrils
00:22:56can choke you out.
00:22:57I don't care.
00:22:58Let it all go to the cats.
00:23:00There's no way
00:23:01on God's green earth
00:23:02that I am going
00:23:03to promote such films.
00:23:04It's your brother's
00:23:05last wish,
00:23:06his dying wish.
00:23:07Well,
00:23:07you don't always
00:23:08get what you want,
00:23:09especially when you're dead.
00:23:11Whoa, whoa,
00:23:11what happened?
00:23:12I don't want
00:23:13to talk about it.
00:23:16Did the pest man come?
00:23:17Yes.
00:23:18And?
00:23:19Ah, he said
00:23:20David's got it
00:23:20under control.
00:23:21He didn't charge you
00:23:22for that, did he?
00:23:23$500.
00:23:24You didn't pay him,
00:23:25did you?
00:23:25You said that
00:23:26I gave him
00:23:27George's card.
00:23:28Good luck collecting
00:23:29from the cats
00:23:31and the contractor.
00:23:32He's got it all
00:23:33figured out.
00:23:33What happened?
00:23:35It's all very simple.
00:23:36We went to the lawyers
00:23:38and can I get
00:23:39one of those?
00:23:40Haven't touched it.
00:23:42Okay.
00:23:43It's split among us all
00:23:45evenly,
00:23:46as long as we
00:23:48erect a, um...
00:23:49If we don't,
00:23:50it all goes to the cats.
00:23:52Cats?
00:23:52Do you even have
00:23:53any cats?
00:23:54They're staying with me,
00:23:55Miss Mittens
00:23:56and Meowsey Tom.
00:23:57We have to erect...
00:23:59Yes, erect.
00:24:00Erect a...
00:24:01We have to erect
00:24:03something?
00:24:03What?
00:24:04George already
00:24:05got it through planning.
00:24:06Oh, planning
00:24:07is the easy part
00:24:08of an erection.
00:24:09Then we just
00:24:10have to complete it.
00:24:11That's the hard part.
00:24:12It has to say
00:24:14please.
00:24:14Yes, please.
00:24:16Pretty much
00:24:16all erections
00:24:17say please.
00:24:18What has to say
00:24:20please?
00:24:21A plaque.
00:24:22A plaque.
00:24:22In the park.
00:24:23A plaque in the park
00:24:24saying please.
00:24:25A pleasing plaque
00:24:26in the park.
00:24:27No, not pleasing.
00:24:29Please teach teens
00:24:31to...
00:24:31Oh, God, please.
00:24:33Please teach teens
00:24:36to...
00:24:40Please teach teens
00:24:42it's okay
00:24:43to love themselves
00:24:44both emotionally
00:24:46and physically.
00:24:48Oh, well.
00:24:50Erect is the
00:24:51correct word.
00:24:52Well, that sounds
00:24:53okay.
00:24:54George is trying
00:24:55to say
00:24:55is that we should
00:24:57teach the kids
00:24:58to
00:25:01fly solo.
00:25:03Release the
00:25:04kraken.
00:25:05Choke the chicken.
00:25:06Wax the carrot.
00:25:08Okay, gram fits.
00:25:09Rub your worm.
00:25:10That's enough.
00:25:11Drain the swamp.
00:25:12Manipulate your base.
00:25:14Ménage à moi.
00:25:16DIY 101.
00:25:18Jiggle the handle.
00:25:20The safest of all...
00:25:21Gramps!
00:25:22Okay, yeah, I know.
00:25:24Pamula Henderson!
00:25:27Let us
00:25:28agree
00:25:31to encourage
00:25:32young people
00:25:33to explore
00:25:34sexual
00:25:35self-gratification.
00:25:37Wow.
00:25:39Let's eliminate
00:25:40connotations
00:25:41of shame
00:25:41associated
00:25:43with
00:25:43it.
00:25:45The M word.
00:25:46In my opinion,
00:25:48this will help
00:25:48to alleviate
00:25:49sexual repression,
00:25:51minimize aggression,
00:25:54lead to better health,
00:25:55and may result
00:25:55in fewer
00:25:56unwanted pregnancies.
00:25:58Wow.
00:25:59Hopefully,
00:26:00it will also
00:26:01lead to
00:26:01better self-control
00:26:03by the males
00:26:04in our society.
00:26:06George Watson.
00:26:07Well, you gotta admit,
00:26:09males of our society
00:26:10have not always
00:26:12been in the best behavior.
00:26:14Maybe this will help.
00:26:15Here's to George.
00:26:17He went out with style.
00:26:20Gotta hand it to him.
00:26:21Actually,
00:26:22I think he wanted us
00:26:23to hand it to ourselves.
00:26:25Have you heard
00:26:27the latest
00:26:27from the coastal elites?
00:26:29They are demanding
00:26:30that our children
00:26:32defile
00:26:33their bodies
00:26:34and souls.
00:26:35The time for action
00:26:36is now.
00:26:42a Porsche
00:26:43just pulled up.
00:26:44Ah, that'll be
00:26:45the puppet master.
00:26:46You must have heard
00:26:47Californians are in town.
00:26:50You know that
00:26:50the only word
00:26:51that rhymes with Porsche
00:26:52is douche?
00:26:54Well,
00:26:55I think it's just fantastic.
00:26:57Sure, he's a little kooky,
00:26:59but then who isn't?
00:27:00And Stephen
00:27:01will just have to...
00:27:02Look,
00:27:02I am all for free speech,
00:27:04but that guy
00:27:04should be shot.
00:27:06I will get this.
00:27:10Mr. O'Reilly,
00:27:11you really did not
00:27:11have to come.
00:27:12Oh, how could I not?
00:27:14Rather fortuitous, huh?
00:27:15Yes, rather.
00:27:17This is my father, Tim.
00:27:20Nice to meet you.
00:27:21And my mother, Meg.
00:27:23Nice to meet you.
00:27:24Oh, my.
00:27:26What?
00:27:26Oh, I'm sorry.
00:27:27Concealed weapon.
00:27:28Permitted, of course.
00:27:29Side note,
00:27:30you'd be surprised
00:27:31how many people
00:27:31think I need to be shot.
00:27:32Ah.
00:27:34Um,
00:27:35this is my brother, James,
00:27:36one of your biggest fans.
00:27:38Nice to meet you.
00:27:39No autographs.
00:27:40Shame.
00:27:41Sean,
00:27:42but please call me
00:27:42Mr. O'Reilly.
00:27:43Oh, really?
00:27:44O'Reilly.
00:27:45You know,
00:27:45I produce reality shows.
00:27:47Maybe we could...
00:27:48Yeah, I don't really
00:27:48consider that television.
00:27:49Not into reality?
00:27:50Not at all.
00:27:51Uh, this is Yvonne Marks.
00:27:53Yvonne Marks,
00:27:55mistress to the great
00:27:56George Watts.
00:27:57Uh, fiancé.
00:27:59I'm so sorry for your loss.
00:28:02If there's anything I can do...
00:28:04I'm good.
00:28:06Thanks.
00:28:10All of you,
00:28:11I'm so sorry for your loss.
00:28:13Yes, very kind of you.
00:28:15I needed to come down
00:28:16and meet the family
00:28:17of my new assistant.
00:28:18I mean,
00:28:19the fact that you guys
00:28:19just happen to be
00:28:20at the center
00:28:21of the greatest controversy
00:28:22in America?
00:28:23Well,
00:28:25I mean,
00:28:25it has it all.
00:28:25Free speech,
00:28:26tawdry sex,
00:28:27small town.
00:28:28It's Brooklyn.
00:28:29Yeah, close enough.
00:28:30Well,
00:28:31Mr. O'Reilly
00:28:32has just been named
00:28:33head of the White Caucus.
00:28:34Well,
00:28:35well,
00:28:36you can't have a caucus
00:28:37without a head.
00:28:39Congratulations.
00:28:40I've always wondered,
00:28:41is it true
00:28:42that the Black Caucus
00:28:44is larger than the White Caucus,
00:28:45or is that just a fallacy?
00:28:47It's the size of the ideas
00:28:49that matter.
00:28:50I've always argued
00:28:51that it's more mental
00:28:52than physical,
00:28:53but Nancy,
00:28:54or she...
00:28:54Thank you, Dad.
00:28:55I will show you
00:28:56to your room.
00:28:59Very nice to meet you.
00:29:00All right.
00:29:01Okay.
00:29:01Oh,
00:29:02and I put you
00:29:03in the room
00:29:04where George wrote
00:29:05My Blood Runs Red,
00:29:06White, and Blue.
00:29:07Side note,
00:29:08that's my favorite song.
00:29:10I think it is.
00:29:11Great song.
00:29:12Great.
00:29:12Love that song.
00:29:13Genius.
00:29:15How is that a side note?
00:29:27Hey.
00:29:29I'm getting hungry.
00:29:33Allison?
00:29:35When were you planning
00:29:36on telling me?
00:29:37Uh, telling you what?
00:29:39Your severance pay came.
00:29:41Shit.
00:29:44Freaking Vita Con.
00:29:46What?
00:29:47Nothing.
00:29:49So you quit your job?
00:29:51Well, you told me to quit.
00:29:54That was when I thought
00:29:55you had a job.
00:29:56Oh, I see.
00:29:57So it's okay for me to quit
00:29:58when you tell me to quit.
00:30:00It's just not okay
00:30:00for me to do it on my own.
00:30:02It's not okay for you
00:30:02to quit and not tell me.
00:30:04This is a partnership.
00:30:06I can't make decisions
00:30:07in the dark.
00:30:07What if I had listened to you?
00:30:08What if I had turned down
00:30:09the job with Sean?
00:30:10Where would we be?
00:30:11Reasoning a kid
00:30:11with no jobs,
00:30:12no medical.
00:30:12I'm sorry.
00:30:13Okay?
00:30:14I just...
00:30:15Listen,
00:30:15I couldn't...
00:30:16I couldn't do it anymore.
00:30:18So you're telling me
00:30:18what to do,
00:30:19and you're not telling me
00:30:20what you're doing.
00:30:21That's not a relationship.
00:30:22I'm sorry.
00:30:24I am.
00:30:25I can't believe
00:30:26this is the person I married.
00:30:27How can you be out there
00:30:28preaching about honesty
00:30:29and equality
00:30:30when you can't even
00:30:30practice it at home?
00:30:31I said that I am sorry.
00:30:33What else do you want me to say?
00:30:35Why didn't you tell me?
00:30:36That's what I don't get.
00:30:37Why wouldn't you tell me?
00:30:41Okay, look.
00:30:42I didn't tell you
00:30:44because I was afraid
00:30:46that if I told you,
00:30:47that you would take
00:30:47that job with Sean
00:30:48for sure.
00:30:50Yeah, I'm going to
00:30:50take the job with Sean
00:30:51whether or not
00:30:52you have a job
00:30:53and whether or not
00:30:53you say it's okay.
00:30:55That's what you don't
00:30:56understand.
00:30:56You don't get to make
00:30:57all the decisions
00:30:58about our lives.
00:30:59Oh, no.
00:30:59I don't get to make
00:31:00any decisions
00:31:00in our fucking lives.
00:31:10I worked as a checker
00:31:12for two years
00:31:14so that you could
00:31:14go to college.
00:31:16We waited
00:31:17for your career
00:31:18to get started
00:31:19before I began
00:31:20the beat.
00:31:21I have been working
00:31:22my ass off
00:31:24to get to this point.
00:31:26And it is a shitty time
00:31:27for reporters
00:31:28and you're going
00:31:28to quit your job
00:31:29and then you're going
00:31:30to ask me to turn down
00:31:31everything that I've
00:31:32ever wanted?
00:31:33What is going
00:31:34on in your head?
00:31:35God.
00:31:40God.
00:31:42God.
00:32:04You know, George came to the grocery store once when I was checking.
00:32:11He waited in line.
00:32:13He didn't buy anything.
00:32:19He just looked at me and he said, don't lose yourself.
00:32:33And I never told you because I was afraid that I was.
00:32:41But he knew.
00:32:44I mean, he just got right in there and he knew.
00:32:51And I swore that I would never again lose myself.
00:33:20Allyson.
00:33:22Yes.
00:33:23Hey, look, I just I wanted to just thanks for coming on board.
00:33:30Well, it's a big opportunity for me.
00:33:32So, yeah, it is.
00:33:34So it's important that we're on the same page.
00:33:38Absolutely.
00:33:39A team.
00:33:41Yeah.
00:33:44See, it's important that what happens in the locker room stays in the locker room.
00:33:53As long as we're not actually in the locker room.
00:33:57No, of course.
00:33:59But winning is what life is all about.
00:34:05Television, politics.
00:34:07See, it's all about manipulating the simple minds to our side.
00:34:11Right.
00:34:12It's not a bad thing because we're right.
00:34:15Okay.
00:34:17So, if the president can keep that plaque from going up, that's a win.
00:34:25Gotcha.
00:34:26And since your family is in control of that.
00:34:30Oh, I see.
00:34:32So we're not just reporting on the news.
00:34:33We're manipulating it.
00:34:35No, give it a hand.
00:34:37You know, massaging it.
00:34:40Those are the words you actually just chose to use.
00:34:44Um, the problem, Mr. O'Reilly, is that my family is not very easy this way.
00:34:51Well, Allison, that's not good.
00:34:55Because they're not simple-minded.
00:34:58Excuse me?
00:35:00Fucking men.
00:35:03Stop the plaque! Stop the plaque! Stop the plaque! Stop the plaque! Stop the plaque! Stop the plaque!
00:35:12They're not very healthy.
00:35:13Did you get your job back, sweetie?
00:35:15No. No, no, no.
00:35:15But I'm glad for it.
00:35:19Wait, come work for me.
00:35:21Maid Maids was just picked up.
00:35:23Fantastic, James.
00:35:25Maid Maids.
00:35:26I love it.
00:35:27David is the executive producer, and my name's not on it.
00:35:31One baby bird.
00:35:33I'm not going to do that.
00:35:34But I do feel like I'm supposed to do something.
00:35:40You'll find it if your true passion doesn't give up on you.
00:35:44That's beautiful, James.
00:35:46That was George. I can't tell you how many times I wanted to quit.
00:35:50How many times I did quit.
00:35:52Maybe I don't have a true passion.
00:35:53Of course you do. Changing things for the better.
00:35:57Maybe we're all failures as a species.
00:36:01Okay. This is going to require a double.
00:36:04Fashionable fascist. Exalted dictators. Murdering tyrants.
00:36:09A president with Tourette's. Multiple bombings, shootings, wars.
00:36:14The worse the world, the less worrisome the apocalypse.
00:36:19Did you know that there are over 20 armed conflicts in the world right now?
00:36:24America? Nine of them.
00:36:26We are at war and nobody is marching for peace.
00:36:31Now they're marching for masturbation.
00:36:32Well, you gotta stand for something.
00:36:34I've taken a rigid stance on it.
00:36:36Uh-huh. This whole plaque business, it epitomizes the unbridgeable division in the United States right now.
00:36:45Which is red versus blue. Right?
00:36:47I mean, the things that they are saying.
00:36:49My God.
00:36:51God hates tolerance.
00:36:53Who would even think such a thing?
00:36:55Actually, there's this pest control guy.
00:36:57You know what they should be marching about?
00:36:59Is fucking homelessness.
00:37:01Poverty.
00:37:02Racism.
00:37:02The ever-shrinking middle class.
00:37:04Right? The wealth imbalance.
00:37:06Okay?
00:37:07This is what they should be fucking marching about.
00:37:10Immigration.
00:37:11Oh my God, don't even fucking get me started.
00:37:14Too late for that.
00:37:15Protectionism over morality. There, I said it.
00:37:18Okay?
00:37:19And... pollution.
00:37:20There are islands of plastic floating in the sea.
00:37:24Huge islands! Right?
00:37:26Dwindling resources.
00:37:29Mindless waste.
00:37:30Micro-plastics invading our bodies.
00:37:33Poisoning each and every single fucking one of us.
00:37:36But at least there's binge-watching.
00:37:39I like the binge-watching.
00:37:40Drones are cool.
00:37:42You know, the truth, I thought, was supposed to set us free.
00:37:46All it does is piss me off.
00:37:48I don't know.
00:37:48Drones always kind of remind me of the flying monkeys.
00:37:51Yeah, but remember, they weren't evil.
00:37:54That's right.
00:37:54When the Wicked Witch died, they were happy.
00:37:57Yeah, exactly.
00:37:58Drones are the new flying monkeys.
00:38:01Shut up about the drones.
00:38:03Climate change.
00:38:04The good thing about climate change is we won't have to retire to Arizona.
00:38:09Arizona's coming to us.
00:38:10Gramps, that sound funny.
00:38:11The Earth is literally going to increase by two degrees in the next thirty years.
00:38:16I wonder if you have any idea what that's going to do to the planet.
00:38:20Maybe you don't give a shit because you're not going to be alive anymore. Is that it?
00:38:24You know who the ultimate six degrees of separation is?
00:38:27Between us and the planet.
00:38:30That's good.
00:38:30That's hysterical.
00:38:32Are you fucking listening to me?
00:38:34Huh?
00:38:34These are the things that people should be marching about.
00:38:37But no, nobody gives a fuck about anything except their right to fucking screw themselves.
00:38:45Did he just use the M word?
00:38:47I think he used the M word.
00:38:57He had these stashed in the back of his closet.
00:39:02I always liked George.
00:39:18I miss climbing through.
00:39:20Me too.
00:39:22The crowd is getting larger.
00:39:24Yeah, thank the puppet master for that.
00:39:26He put our address out on his show.
00:39:30Oh, and drone delivery.
00:39:35La La Land.
00:39:36I didn't order this.
00:39:38Maybe George did.
00:39:39He would never do that.
00:39:41And this came out.
00:39:43Okay.
00:39:44Planning commission.
00:39:45Threatening to revoke our permit.
00:39:48Apparently they didn't understand the English language.
00:39:52Well, I'll respond with legal language.
00:39:54Or we can nix the black and it all goes away.
00:39:57Is that true?
00:39:59The plaques being nixed?
00:39:59No.
00:40:01Look, what George is trying to say, that as long as we keep repressing our sexuality,
00:40:07then men will continue to be pigs and women will continue to be disrespected and objectified.
00:40:15But if we accept the fact that we are indeed sexual creatures and that our desires are at times just
00:40:22difficult to control, then we can start down the right path.
00:40:27Sounds like a path of further decay.
00:40:29You might as well legalize prostitution.
00:40:31Would that be so terrible?
00:40:32Well, the states have taken over the numbers racket.
00:40:36You got Native Americans have gambling now.
00:40:39Pot's legal.
00:40:40You legalize prostitution.
00:40:43Maybe hard drugs.
00:40:44Boom.
00:40:44Organized crime is history.
00:40:47Poor bastards.
00:40:48What is wrong with self-control?
00:40:50Self-control?
00:40:51I understand self-control, you ass!
00:40:54Don't throw your fake oppression at me.
00:40:57There's no desire for hard work anymore.
00:40:59There's no backbone in this nation anymore.
00:41:01From the melting pot to the chamber pot.
00:41:04Nobody wants to take responsibility.
00:41:06Do anything you want.
00:41:06Have the government pay for it.
00:41:08Let obscenity rule.
00:41:09You know this whole world is going to hell in a hand basket?
00:41:13And I talk and I talk.
00:41:16Nothing but deaf ears.
00:41:19Sodom and Gomorrah.
00:41:21Sodom and Gomorrah!
00:41:23All right, where's this Miss Mittens?
00:41:25Who?
00:41:26Miss Mittens.
00:41:26She reversed my credit card charge.
00:41:28George's cat.
00:41:29I wouldn't worry about it, man.
00:41:31There's about six cameras on your van out there.
00:41:34That's gotta be better than Google Ads and Yelp combined.
00:41:37Yeah, maybe I should go out there and act like I'm doing something, huh?
00:41:40Yeah, put on a show.
00:41:42God hates tolerance.
00:41:44Gotta admit, that's a good one.
00:41:45I'm not sure God hates.
00:41:48Where do you think wrath comes from, moron?
00:41:53I'm just not comfortable with the wording.
00:41:56Teach them to, you know, who?
00:41:59Who is going to teach them?
00:42:01Priests?
00:42:02Scout leaders?
00:42:05When?
00:42:05What age?
00:42:07And how?
00:42:08All of that it would be tough to figure out, but it's better than letting them just fumble
00:42:12in the darkness.
00:42:13Fuck!
00:42:18The president just tweeted out, uh, the plaque is the plague.
00:42:25And touching yourself is the original sin.
00:42:27And he's just signed an executive order to make it illegal.
00:42:32The M word or the act?
00:42:34The act.
00:42:35Ooh.
00:42:35You think jails are crowded now?
00:42:37It's probably just his Tourette's.
00:42:39He's having an episode.
00:42:41No, no, no.
00:42:44I need a drink.
00:42:46It's not a crutch.
00:42:47It's a foundation.
00:42:49There's something wrong.
00:42:54There could be some news.
00:42:55It might, uh, agitate the crowd just a little bit.
00:42:59Are we in danger?
00:43:02You know what?
00:43:05I'd love to see someone try to walk through that door right now.
00:43:07I'll shoot it myself.
00:43:08Take it easy, big guy.
00:43:10You know what?
00:43:11I'm gonna take my foundation and I'm gonna go upstairs so I have work to do and I can't
00:43:15keep walking up and down these fucking stairs.
00:43:17Okay.
00:43:18Fine.
00:43:19No, no worries.
00:43:22It seems like we're causing an awful lot of trouble.
00:43:25George is anyway.
00:43:26Maybe that's what he wanted.
00:43:29No, it's not what George wanted.
00:43:32He just wants us to grow up.
00:43:48I'm going back to California.
00:43:52To get Jackson planned the move?
00:43:55I think I'm gonna stay.
00:43:57Seems a bit dramatic.
00:43:58I can't live here.
00:44:00All the materialism, the frantic pace.
00:44:03Yeah, that's them, not us.
00:44:05It feels infectious.
00:44:08What is really going on?
00:44:09I have to do something.
00:44:11I feel it boiling up inside but I don't know what it is.
00:44:15And you think you're gonna figure that out in California but not here?
00:44:18It's too chaotic here.
00:44:20You need to calm the noise in your own attic and then the outside world won't matter.
00:44:57You can't sleep?
00:44:59Hmm?
00:45:02Hmm.
00:45:03Thought I heard something.
00:45:05Did you leave a note?
00:45:06It's not like that.
00:45:21Let me ask you something.
00:45:25How did it get like this?
00:45:28I mean, didn't we both set out to do good?
00:45:40Let me ask you a question.
00:45:46Man create consciousness?
00:45:49Or consciousness of man?
00:45:52What?
00:45:59Is there a God?
00:46:02I don't know.
00:46:07You die right now.
00:46:12Do you see God?
00:46:17I think that God is beyond any definition we can conceive.
00:46:27And so I do think that we should stop trying.
00:46:32I think it causes nothing but trouble.
00:46:42Why can't you commit?
00:46:49Do you, Stephen, believe God exists?
00:47:01Something does.
00:47:04Something.
00:47:05Call it a...
00:47:08Whatever.
00:47:09You know, but I feel it.
00:47:13I do.
00:47:15And I think you do too, Sean.
00:47:19You know?
00:47:20Otherwise you wouldn't be asking.
00:47:26Nothing.
00:47:44A maddening noise.
00:47:48Politics.
00:47:51News.
00:47:55Fucking news.
00:48:00That cosmic blink.
00:48:05It's all gonna be a desolate rock no matter what we do.
00:48:11Meaningless.
00:48:26Fuck it.
00:48:28Wait, wait, wait.
00:48:29Okay, okay, wait.
00:48:30You're right.
00:48:32Sean.
00:48:33You're right.
00:48:34Okay, everything is meaningless.
00:48:35There is no God.
00:48:36It's all useless.
00:48:38And death is just pure blackness.
00:48:41Just nothingness.
00:48:43Okay?
00:48:43And why go on?
00:48:44Why do anything at all?
00:48:45It's when it's all fucking meaningless.
00:48:47Right?
00:48:47Right?
00:48:48But...
00:48:49Go beyond just understanding.
00:48:52And accept the meaninglessness of life.
00:48:56And suddenly, anything is possible.
00:49:00Because it's all meaningless.
00:49:03Failure.
00:49:04Shame.
00:49:06The media.
00:49:08All of it.
00:49:15It's all meaningless.
00:49:17Why not just rampage, murder, and pillage?
00:49:21Okay, right.
00:49:22Because you know that it's wrong.
00:49:28But, Sean, you can do whatever is right.
00:49:37However you want.
00:49:40Free from critique or ridicule.
00:50:03She's having his love child.
00:50:06What?
00:50:08President got her pregnant.
00:50:10And now she's having his baby.
00:50:17Who?
00:50:18Rachel Maddow.
00:50:20Wait.
00:50:20I thought that she was, uh...
00:50:22She is?
00:50:23She is?
00:50:27She did it on purpose.
00:50:30She knows how weak he is.
00:50:34That's a hell of a patriot, I guess.
00:50:43Yeah, but I can't spin this one.
00:50:47How about this?
00:50:49You say that it was a reach across the aisle.
00:50:56The ultimate reach across the aisle.
00:51:00More of a breach.
00:51:05They did it on purpose.
00:51:08To bring the country together.
00:51:10Like never before.
00:51:14And you have them name the baby...
00:51:18Unity.
00:51:20Or something like that.
00:51:23I don't know.
00:51:30No, I like that.
00:51:43You used to leave these hand-drawn cartoons for me.
00:51:46Yeah, yeah, you've made them to me, too.
00:51:48Be the only thing in the envelope.
00:51:50Some are stupid, but they made me laugh.
00:51:52Always.
00:51:53The polar bears?
00:51:55Out on the iceberg?
00:51:57Yeah!
00:51:59Wait, wait, how did that one go?
00:52:02Uh, one says, uh, where are you going the Caps Mount?
00:52:05America. It's polarized.
00:52:11It was something.
00:52:16I didn't know you sent them to anyone else.
00:52:19Might have just been us.
00:52:23I swear you'll keep your mouth shut.
00:52:25Of course. I got nothing against the guy.
00:52:26Swear it to me.
00:52:27I swear.
00:52:29To you, I would swear anything.
00:52:36But I get to use the stuff about Joan Stewart.
00:52:41The death to smoochie memorabilia and the fake Oscar.
00:52:45All that man's success and yet there's a sad hole inside?
00:52:49Now that is pathos.
00:52:52All right, but no mention about the adult diapers, okay?
00:52:54Never.
00:52:57Hey, thanks.
00:52:59No problem.
00:53:01For believing in me.
00:53:03I was beginning to doubt myself whether or not I was a good person.
00:53:08Of course you're good.
00:53:10Now you just have to learn to love that goodness.
00:53:13Loving yourself makes God your ally.
00:53:16Once you've done that, it's easy to love others.
00:53:19Even with their faults.
00:53:20You believe in God.
00:53:22Of course.
00:53:24I'm so sure about it.
00:53:26Doing for others gives you an understanding.
00:53:55Of course.
00:53:56This whole time I thought it was the perfect show I was searching for.
00:54:12Oh, thank God.
00:54:13Gramps, will you make me a drink please?
00:54:16Whew.
00:54:18You know, I gotta tell you.
00:54:20I think I'm starting to agree with your whole,
00:54:22don't let booze be a crutch.
00:54:25Make it a foundation.
00:54:35I don't know, I think I just...
00:54:38I gotta let her do whatever she wants.
00:54:40You know?
00:54:41And then...
00:54:43hope for the best.
00:54:46Right?
00:54:57I think I saved a man's life tonight.
00:55:01The only problem is I don't know if he was worth saving.
00:55:04Allison says everybody is worth saving, but...
00:55:07I don't know.
00:55:09I think about those folks who saved Hitler.
00:55:12During World War I he was gassed.
00:55:15The doctors and the nurses.
00:55:18I mean...
00:55:20You know?
00:55:21What if they were Jewish?
00:55:35What if the problems that we have today, you know, with the nation, stem from our forefathers?
00:55:47Huh?
00:55:48I mean...
00:55:50These guys signed a document.
00:55:52A declaration of equality.
00:55:56And they put their names to it.
00:55:58And then they lived the opposite.
00:56:02You know?
00:56:04They had slaves.
00:56:06They oppressed women.
00:56:09And then...
00:56:10Doesn't the Bible say that the sins of the father will be visited upon future generations?
00:56:16So...
00:56:17The civil war.
00:56:19The civil rights.
00:56:23The division that we have right now.
00:56:27Right?
00:56:28I mean, couldn't all of this stem from the fact that our forefathers...
00:56:32did not live the lives that they declared.
00:56:36Their ideals.
00:56:37Their values.
00:56:38That they put their names to it.
00:56:40And they didn't do it.
00:56:50And what do you think?
00:56:58Gramps.
00:57:01Doesn't that figure?
00:57:04Say my best stuff here to myself.
00:57:09Gramps!
00:57:12Hey!
00:57:23Honey?
00:57:24With all this going on, I don't think I allowed myself time to creep.
00:57:32He was a good man.
00:57:34Yeah.
00:57:35Brilliant.
00:57:37And he lived a full life.
00:57:39He got it.
00:57:42Oh.
00:57:44This is one of my favorites.
00:57:479-1-1 to Jesus.
00:57:49Yeah.
00:57:51That was a good one.
00:57:53Probably his biggest hit, too.
00:57:55Oh, God.
00:57:56Everybody loved it.
00:57:59Well, except for the 9-1-1 dispatchers.
00:58:03Apparently, people thought they could actually dial 9-1-1 to Jesus.
00:58:11Sending out a 9-1-1 to Jesus.
00:58:13Putting out an APB to God.
00:58:16Someone tore my heart into pieces.
00:58:19And I'm falling in the land of God.
00:58:23Oh, he was a good brother.
00:58:26Until he had to go and pull this shit.
00:58:30I mean, right at the very end.
00:58:32I mean, why put me through this?
00:58:35I just can't believe that a guy who wrote 9-1-1 to Jesus would want this filth.
00:58:43Just think of this as his last good deed to the world.
00:58:48Oh, God.
00:58:48Good deed.
00:58:50Tell that to the protestors out there.
00:58:53And it's not a good deed.
00:58:55It's gross.
00:58:56You're focusing on the M-word.
00:58:59What he's saying is we should teach kids it's okay.
00:59:02He's not saying, teach kids how to do it.
00:59:05Can you imagine that?
00:59:07Oh, God.
00:59:07All right, class.
00:59:0960 seconds.
00:59:10Pull out your vibrators.
00:59:11No checking your neighbor's work.
00:59:15Marilyn, arch your back.
00:59:17No, he's saying it's okay to do it.
00:59:20We're humans.
00:59:21We're sexual beings.
00:59:23We're animals.
00:59:24And you repress that stuff.
00:59:27And then, you know, it all starts sneaking out on the creepy side.
00:59:33Ask the Catholic.
00:59:35Well, fine.
00:59:39Then do it through sex, Ed.
00:59:41Not on a plaque with our family name on it for the rest of God knows how long.
00:59:46A plaque that has the whole country up in arms.
00:59:49It's starting a dialogue.
00:59:57That's no mouse.
01:00:04Will you call him?
01:00:06Yes.
01:00:08I'm sorry to bother you, but I think we have an intruder in our house.
01:00:15The 320 Maple Avenue, Brooklyn.
01:00:21Why, yes it is.
01:00:26Thank you so much.
01:00:31They'll be right over.
01:00:33Wait, who will be right over?
01:00:34The police.
01:00:35Why?
01:00:36Listen.
01:00:41Could be one of the protesters.
01:00:43Yeah, probably some animal rights protesters coming in to steal our mice.
01:00:47That's not mice.
01:00:49I don't know.
01:00:50It sounds like someone's practicing what we're supposed to be teaching the kids.
01:00:53Yeah, we should probably check that out.
01:00:55What if they're armed?
01:00:57If they're doing that while armed, that's dangerous.
01:01:03Trust me, I know.
01:01:07Oh, I'm so glad you're here.
01:01:09Ma'am?
01:01:09That was fast.
01:01:10We were right outside.
01:01:11Protest patrol.
01:01:13Dispatch said something about an intruder.
01:01:14Yeah, in the attic.
01:01:15Listen.
01:01:17Bet it's a protest.
01:01:18You're trying to slip inside.
01:01:19Let's go.
01:01:20Somebody's slipping inside something.
01:01:24Hey, be careful up there.
01:01:25That's how horror films begin.
01:01:28Maybe this place really is haunted.
01:01:30Honey, there's no such thing as ghosts.
01:01:32But thank God there are evil spirits.
01:01:46It wasn't a horror film.
01:01:47Close enough.
01:01:48You just got a little carried away.
01:01:49No, I can't believe that you would do such a thing.
01:01:51Well, sex isn't a crime, so.
01:01:53Not yet.
01:01:54Or not anymore.
01:01:55Sorry.
01:01:56Oh, just go get some clothes on.
01:01:58Or we could have a toga party.
01:02:00Speaking of two sheets.
01:02:01Hate to interrupt, but I gotta get going.
01:02:04Mr. O'Reilly, did you sleep okay?
01:02:05Best night ever.
01:02:07Ready to conquer the world.
01:02:08You know, with most people, that's a figure of speech.
01:02:12Follow you.
01:02:14Would you like some breakfast?
01:02:16No, I must get going.
01:02:18But we do have a slight problem.
01:02:20My gun is missing and it needs to be returned
01:02:22or I'm gonna have to call the cops.
01:02:24Well, there's plenty out there.
01:02:26Look, I don't want to make it a big deal.
01:02:28I just need it returned.
01:02:30You're welcome to search me.
01:02:33You can be a lesson for that.
01:02:35Armed and dangerous.
01:02:36Disgusting.
01:02:37See, this is what happens when you give an inch.
01:02:39More like several.
01:02:41Okay, I'm beginning to think God does hate tolerance.
01:02:44Alright folks, last chance.
01:02:45I'm not messing around here.
01:02:46Hey, no need to make a call.
01:02:48Oh my God.
01:02:49I got your gun.
01:02:50Aren't you?
01:02:51Lorenzo.
01:02:52Oh.
01:02:52Yeah, hi.
01:02:53Look.
01:02:53I got your gun, Sean.
01:02:55The one that you gave to me last night.
01:02:56So you wouldn't kill yourself.
01:02:57No, no.
01:02:58I didn't know such thing.
01:02:59Is that fake news?
01:03:01You were a bit out of sorts.
01:03:03Right, Steven?
01:03:04He wasn't quite himself.
01:03:06Although, we all have our moments.
01:03:08Well, look.
01:03:08You're not gonna make that call
01:03:09because it would hurt you to run for the presidency.
01:03:11What?
01:03:11Yeah, that's right.
01:03:13He decided last night, after you saved his life.
01:03:21And, you're not gonna make a call.
01:03:24Because Yvonne is gonna change the plaque to read,
01:03:26Love Yourselves in All Ways.
01:03:27I've just cleared it with planning and they're beyond relieved.
01:03:31Huh.
01:03:33Remember when you two were young
01:03:35and you couldn't keep your hands out of each other?
01:03:39And, maybe you made love somewhere that you shouldn't have?
01:03:43That's the one that you remember to this day.
01:03:47So, money isn't as important as connection.
01:03:50Right?
01:03:53So keep this place.
01:04:01Hey, what's that?
01:04:02Oh, just a note.
01:04:03You mind?
01:04:05Reminders for myself.
01:04:06Bullet points.
01:04:08Now that I'm running, I just want to make sure to, you know,
01:04:13treat people better.
01:04:15Treat women as equals.
01:04:16That's good.
01:04:19No groping.
01:04:22It's a tough one, you know, for me.
01:04:23Because it's been a bit of a problem.
01:04:29Minorities are...
01:04:31I'm not even gonna read that.
01:04:33Just treat everybody as if they were your grandmother.
01:04:38That might work.
01:04:39It will work.
01:04:40Stop questioning yourself.
01:04:41You're the puppet master.
01:04:43Be the puppet master.
01:04:45And, if you do go on to be the next president,
01:04:47be the best damn president we've ever had.
01:04:53Be proud of your shows.
01:04:56They're entertaining people.
01:04:58Helping to keep their minds off the chaos in the world.
01:05:01But also, think outside the box.
01:05:04Slip some vitamins into that pablum.
01:05:08We've gotta go.
01:05:09Okay.
01:05:10And Steven, loosen up, man.
01:05:12I mean, she can take care of herself.
01:05:14And you.
01:05:16She's beautiful.
01:05:18Successful.
01:05:18I mean, you've won the lottery.
01:05:20You're trying so hard,
01:05:21you just don't see the gifts being given to you.
01:05:23The world's not perfect.
01:05:25You know, you're not gonna find the perfect job.
01:05:26People aren't gonna always agree.
01:05:28Doors aren't gonna work.
01:05:30The imperfect nature of existence is its beauty.
01:05:42Good to go.
01:05:45It was you, all along.
01:05:47Nobody ever suspects a pest control guy.
01:05:50I thought you were this arch-conservative.
01:05:52Yeah, but I know right from wrong.
01:05:57I'll be right out.
01:06:00The imperfect nature of existence is its beauty.
01:06:05I like that.
01:06:07And I always try to be as close to imperfection as possible.
01:06:12And you've never looked so beautiful.
01:06:16It was George's idea.
01:06:18To hide them in the attic.
01:06:20You know, they were like brothers from another mother,
01:06:22so no phone calls, okay?
01:06:26You're really going to change the black?
01:06:28It was Lorenzo's idea.
01:06:31He thought it would bring people together,
01:06:34rather than deepening the divide.
01:06:37Because, after all, that's what George's music was all about.
01:06:43Bringing people together so they feel connected, loved.
01:06:52Anyway, I'm gonna use my inheritance to start a sex ed program for young people.
01:06:59See what I can do to effect change.
01:07:03Deal.
01:07:05Deal.
01:07:06Deal.
01:07:11Or keeping the house.
01:07:14A place for us all to gather.
01:07:34Me too.
01:07:41I like her.
01:07:52What's your gun?
01:07:54Thanks.
01:08:02Alright.
01:08:07What are you doing?
01:08:08Calling the cops.
01:08:10I'm not gonna be blackmailed by a criminal.
01:08:12Wait, wait, wait.
01:08:13Don't make that call.
01:08:15And, uh, uh, we'll say that you came up with the whole solution.
01:08:22You changed the words on the plaque that bridged the divide.
01:08:28Sean O'Reilly, you're the bridge America needs.
01:08:34Nice.
01:08:36Whew.
01:08:37Uh, you sure you don't want to come work for me.
01:08:39I mean, you have got a gift.
01:08:41You know what?
01:08:43I think I will.
01:08:44Really?
01:08:45O'Reilly!
01:08:48I will see you two at 6am sharp.
01:08:55So you're gonna influence the puppet master?
01:08:57Absolutely.
01:08:59We're gonna be working together.
01:09:00I am not working for that jerk.
01:09:02Are you kidding me?
01:09:02The guy's a freak.
01:09:03He's suicidal one minute, running for president the next.
01:09:06Pretty much the same thing.
01:09:08Has to write himself a note to keep from groping?
01:09:10Why do lunatics run the world?
01:09:12Because normals are too busy living.
01:09:15What are you gonna do?
01:09:16I've had it with these people.
01:09:18I'm gonna run for office.
01:09:23That is fantastic!
01:09:26Alright, what office?
01:09:28Well, this was fun.
01:09:31Might make a good show.
01:09:33Family reunions bridging that American divide.
01:09:37What?
01:09:37We've got some cleaning to do.
01:09:39I've actually discovered that I love vacuuming.
01:09:41It's so therapeutic.
01:09:43There is a vacuum upstairs, you know.
01:09:45Therapy's in session.
01:09:52Well, Grabs.
01:09:53Well, indeed, Nance.
01:09:56What do you say we go find us a Ferris wheel?
01:10:01Ah, one that's totally empty.
01:10:03And then we pay off the attendant to go away.
01:10:06And concentrate a little more on our entrance plan
01:10:09than our exit strategy.
01:10:11Hmm.
01:10:12Well, just so you know, I'm gluten free.
01:10:18Oh.
01:10:26Victory is ours.
01:10:28The weak side crumbled under the weight of truth.
01:10:31Our esteemed head of the White Caucus, Sean O'Reilly, forged a solution.
01:10:37Thank God for men like him.
01:10:39He is the bridge America needs.
01:10:46Are we forgetting anything?
01:10:48I don't think so.
01:10:51Oh, it feels like we're forgetting something.
01:10:53Are you okay?
01:10:54I don't know.
01:10:56I'm feeling anxious about tomorrow.
01:10:59It's not necessarily a bad thing as long as it doesn't get out of control.
01:11:05I wouldn't mind getting out of control.
01:11:08It's been a while since you've been out of control.
01:11:13The attic?
01:11:14The attic.
01:11:16The attic.
01:11:33Hello?
01:11:37Hello?
01:11:43Crazy ass folks.
01:11:48Nothing better to do.
01:11:50Money rots the mind.
01:11:53Hire me to fix the door.
01:11:55Hire me to seal it shut again.
01:12:03Oh hell no.
01:12:06That's how horror movies start.
01:12:19Wait.
01:12:21Are we forgetting something?
01:12:22Nope.
01:12:24Oh yeah.
01:12:31Let's go get Jax.
01:12:41Ethereal tendrils.
01:12:43Ethereal tendrils.
01:13:06That's oh like her.
01:13:14Hello?
01:13:19Well � Only.
01:13:24I'm sorry.
01:13:24Feel right.
01:13:25I've been disappointed.
01:13:25That's第三алы.
01:13:29I'll let you PHP go MALE.
01:13:30There'sategicis.
01:13:31That's the biggest hole.
01:13:31Unless you fucking cart hole for all galaxy.
01:13:32Okay?
01:13:33That's here.
01:13:33Looks handy.
01:13:34I'm sobering You.
01:13:34Oh, my God.
01:18:09Well, you gotta hand it to the kids.
01:18:13They pulled it off.
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