Welcome back to our vintage cinema archive, your ultimate digital space for premium restorations of golden age Hollywood, rare drive-in gems, and essential cult classics. Today, we step across the threshold of a rotting, gothic mansion for a darkly hilarious, bizarre masterpiece of macabre cinema: Jack Hill’s 1967 cult milestone, Spider Baby or, The Maddest Story Ever Told.
Written and directed with razor-sharp dark humor by cult film pioneer Jack Hill, this unique black-and-white feature centers on the eccentric Merrye family. Tucked away from modern society, three orphaned siblings—Virginia (Jill Banner), Elizabeth (Beverly Washburn), and Ralph (Sid Haig)—live under the loving care of Bruno (Lon Chaney Jr.), their loyal family chauffeur. The children suffer from a hereditary affliction known as "Merrye Syndrome," a bizarre condition that causes them to mentally and morally regress into predatory, child-like monsters as they mature physically. While Bruno does his best to keep them hidden and fed, the fragile domestic peace shatters when distant, greedy relatives arrive accompanied by a stern lawyer, intending to claim ownership of the valuable family estate. Unaware of the lethal dangers lurking inside the house, the greedy visitors ignore Bruno's polite warnings. As night falls, the siblings view the intruders as playthings, entangling their guests in a series of deadly, spider-themed traps, backyard burials, and chaotic midnight games.
Featuring a legendary title song sung by Lon Chaney Jr. himself and stark, atmospheric monochrome cinematography by Alfred Taylor, Spider Baby remains one of the most original horror comedies ever produced. Our channel is fiercely dedicated to preserving historic film treasures, offering a curated library of vintage monster movies, rare B-movies, film noir thrillers, and retro cult classics.
If you love exploring premium archives of full-length 1960s cult horror, please support our movie preservation mission by liking this video, leaving a comment below to share your thoughts, and subscribing for daily classic cinema releases!
#ClassicHorror #SpiderBaby1967 #LonChaneyJr #JackHill #SidHaig #60sHorror #CultClassic #MidnightMovie #RetroCinema
Written and directed with razor-sharp dark humor by cult film pioneer Jack Hill, this unique black-and-white feature centers on the eccentric Merrye family. Tucked away from modern society, three orphaned siblings—Virginia (Jill Banner), Elizabeth (Beverly Washburn), and Ralph (Sid Haig)—live under the loving care of Bruno (Lon Chaney Jr.), their loyal family chauffeur. The children suffer from a hereditary affliction known as "Merrye Syndrome," a bizarre condition that causes them to mentally and morally regress into predatory, child-like monsters as they mature physically. While Bruno does his best to keep them hidden and fed, the fragile domestic peace shatters when distant, greedy relatives arrive accompanied by a stern lawyer, intending to claim ownership of the valuable family estate. Unaware of the lethal dangers lurking inside the house, the greedy visitors ignore Bruno's polite warnings. As night falls, the siblings view the intruders as playthings, entangling their guests in a series of deadly, spider-themed traps, backyard burials, and chaotic midnight games.
Featuring a legendary title song sung by Lon Chaney Jr. himself and stark, atmospheric monochrome cinematography by Alfred Taylor, Spider Baby remains one of the most original horror comedies ever produced. Our channel is fiercely dedicated to preserving historic film treasures, offering a curated library of vintage monster movies, rare B-movies, film noir thrillers, and retro cult classics.
If you love exploring premium archives of full-length 1960s cult horror, please support our movie preservation mission by liking this video, leaving a comment below to share your thoughts, and subscribing for daily classic cinema releases!
#ClassicHorror #SpiderBaby1967 #LonChaneyJr #JackHill #SidHaig #60sHorror #CultClassic #MidnightMovie #RetroCinema
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FunTranscript
00:00:00The American Pronunciation Guide Presents ìStand Idleî
00:00:10Dreams and bones, and bats and bones,
00:00:14and teenage monsters in haunted homes,
00:00:16a ghost on a stair, a vampire's bite,
00:00:19there beware, there's a full moon tonight.
00:00:35Animal spiders creep and crawl, boys and ghouls having a ball, Frankenstein, Dracula, and even the mummy are sure to
00:00:45end up in somebody's tummy.
00:01:01Take a fresh rodent, some toadstools, and weeds, and add an old owl and the young one she breeds, mix
00:01:08in seven legs from an eight-legged beast, and then you're all set for a cannibal feast.
00:01:29Sit round the fire with this cup of brew, a fiend and a werewolf on each side of you.
00:01:35This cannibal orgy is strange to behold in the maddest story ever told.
00:01:58The Mary syndrome, so-called because it's only known occurrence, is among the descendants of one Ebenezer Mary, a progressive
00:02:07age regression beginning about the tenth year and continuing steadily throughout the victim's lifetime.
00:02:12It is believed that eventually the victim of the Mary syndrome may even regress beyond the prenatal level, reverting to
00:02:22a pre-human condition of savagery and cannibalism.
00:02:28Many authorities do not accept the existence of the Mary syndrome.
00:02:35Incredible, but true.
00:02:38Nevertheless, I know only too well.
00:02:44Of course, there's no Mary syndrome anymore.
00:02:47It was extinguished forever from the human race that fateful day ten years ago.
00:03:12reibenezermfurt.com
00:03:25likerenezermfurt.com
00:03:34Can you tell me where the Mary House is?
00:03:37I said the Mary House!
00:03:43If there is any such place, we don't know anything about it.
00:03:48Come on, get it.
00:04:06Come on.
00:04:09Come on.
00:04:10Come on.
00:04:11Come on.
00:04:14Come on.
00:04:16Come on.
00:04:18Come on.
00:04:26Come on.
00:04:40THE END
00:05:09THE END
00:05:34THE END
00:05:35THE END
00:05:35THE END
00:05:39THE END
00:05:49THE END
00:05:50THE END
00:05:52THE END
00:05:52THE END
00:06:00THE END
00:06:01THE END
00:06:01THE END
00:06:08THE END
00:06:09THE END
00:06:13THE END
00:06:14THE END
00:06:23THE END
00:06:23THE END
00:06:23THE END
00:06:30THE END
00:06:31THE END
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00:06:43THE END
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00:06:43THE END
00:06:43THE END
00:07:08THE GAME
00:07:22Hello in there.
00:07:36Hello.
00:07:46I caught you.
00:07:50I caught you.
00:07:52I caught a big fat bug right in my spiderweb.
00:07:58And now the spider gets to give the bug a big sting.
00:08:21Virginia!
00:08:24Virginia, are you crazy?
00:08:26Now look what you've done.
00:08:27You're bad.
00:08:30Bad.
00:08:31Bruno's going to hate you.
00:08:47I'm going to be the only one who we are,
00:08:49to save you, to save you.
00:09:04THE END
00:09:34THE END
00:10:09Elizabeth
00:10:10Virginia
00:10:20Elizabeth
00:10:22Virginia
00:10:25Elizabeth
00:10:35Elizabeth
00:10:37Bruno
00:10:39Virginia
00:10:40Hurts
00:10:41Somebody
00:10:41Real bad
00:10:43You ought to hate her
00:10:45Elizabeth
00:10:46How many times have I told you it's not nice to hate?
00:10:58Oh
00:10:59Don't
00:11:01Don't
00:11:19Don't
00:11:20I trusted you I left you in charge
00:11:22It's not my fault. I didn't
00:11:24Do it
00:11:25She did it. She was playing Spyder
00:11:27You Really
00:11:29No, I left you in charge.
00:11:34Virginia!
00:11:35Virginia, you come here right now.
00:11:40Ralph!
00:11:41Ralph, Ralph, Ralph.
00:11:46Ralph, Ralph, Ralph, Ralph, Ralph, Ralph.
00:11:49Ralph, Ralph, Ralph, Ralph.
00:11:55Ralph, we're home now.
00:11:57Ralph.
00:11:57Ralph.
00:11:59Ralph.
00:12:00Ralph.
00:12:01We're on now.
00:12:03Ralph.
00:12:15Ralph!
00:12:27Ralph!
00:12:29Ralph.
00:12:31Ralph!
00:12:44Virginia, now you stay right there.
00:12:47You couldn't sit down.
00:12:49Sit down.
00:12:51You too, Alyssa.
00:12:59Now, children, I want to tell you something, and I want you to listen very, very carefully.
00:13:08You remember last time when those two children climbed over the wall, and Virginia almost
00:13:15caught them in her spider web?
00:13:17Well, that got people to wondering about us, and that's bad.
00:13:23Your daddy wouldn't like that, Virginia.
00:13:27Now, I can't pee here all the time.
00:13:31You know that I have to take Ralph into the city to the doctor once in a while.
00:13:36And Virginia, you were supposed to mind your sister.
00:13:40You were not supposed to play spider anymore.
00:13:44Now, you never, never can play spider again.
00:13:49Oh, Ralph, what have you got there?
00:13:52Something that man had.
00:13:54Ralph, give it to me.
00:13:56That's it.
00:13:58Thank you, Ralph.
00:14:05This is from a lawyer.
00:14:11A lawyer?
00:14:12What is it, Bruno?
00:14:14Something bad, isn't it?
00:14:16How many times do I have to tell you just because something isn't good doesn't mean it's bad?
00:14:22Well, isn't it bad?
00:14:24It must be something very bad.
00:14:28Nothing is very bad.
00:14:31It isn't?
00:14:35He's going to come here and bring other people.
00:14:40Daddy wouldn't like that.
00:14:43What other people?
00:14:44They want to make, they want to become your legal guardians.
00:14:53As the only other known surviving heirs of the estate of Titus W. Mary.
00:15:04Isn't that Daddy?
00:15:07On the 14th of...
00:15:14Today's the 14th.
00:15:18Now, children, we've got to keep some secrets today.
00:15:40Oh, boy.
00:15:43No.
00:15:44I'll...
00:15:45I'll...
00:15:45I'll...
00:15:47I'll...
00:15:48I'll...
00:15:49I'll...
00:15:55I'll...
00:16:06Let's go.
00:16:33Let's go.
00:17:02Let's go.
00:17:03What do you want that for?
00:17:06Hurry up.
00:17:07I want to watch Uncle Nick.
00:17:08You're not supposed to.
00:17:13Hey!
00:17:14Look out!
00:17:18I'm coming up, Donette.
00:17:48I'm coming, Aunt Claire.
00:17:51Aunt Martha.
00:17:53I'm coming, Uncle Ned.
00:18:00Let's go.
00:18:10Really, Emily?
00:18:11I mean, I wish you'd kinda...
00:18:13Peter, if you don't like my driving, you may feel free to take a trolley.
00:18:16Now, wait just a minute.
00:18:18This was not my idea.
00:18:20I've never heard of the Mary family.
00:18:22What is that?
00:18:22They're our cousins, darling.
00:18:24It behooves us to meet them.
00:18:27All right.
00:18:28I mean, you know, all right.
00:18:29But remember that it was not my idea.
00:18:31Okay?
00:18:32Of course not, darling.
00:18:34You don't have ideas, baby Peter, brother.
00:18:55What in the world makes you think this is the right road?
00:18:57It's got to be.
00:19:08Ha!
00:19:09There!
00:19:09You see?
00:19:22So...
00:19:25This...
00:19:26is it.
00:19:28I don't see any sign of, uh...
00:19:30What's his name?
00:19:31Uh...
00:19:32The Moyer.
00:19:34Obviously, he hasn't arrived as yet.
00:19:37The caretaker here probably went to meet him in a horse and buggy.
00:19:56Might as well go on up.
00:19:58He'll be along any minute.
00:19:59Why don't we, uh...
00:20:02What's the matter, Peter?
00:20:04Chicken?
00:20:04Well, I just don't think it's, you know, just right barging in on somebody that you're about to sue.
00:20:10Oh, just remember, we're trying to avoid that expense.
00:20:14If possible.
00:20:16Well...
00:20:16Ha!
00:20:18I'll leave that up to you.
00:20:19There!
00:20:36I'll leave that up to you.
00:20:36Come on!
00:20:37There, and let's go out the door.
00:20:37I'll leave that down, Jack.
00:20:37Come on up up here!
00:20:38Come on up here!
00:20:38You can't even go back.
00:20:38Come on up!
00:20:38Come on up here!
00:20:39Come on up.
00:20:40You can go go up here!
00:20:41Come on up.
00:21:45What happened?
00:21:46You saw a ghost, right?
00:21:47Don't be funny.
00:21:48There was a...
00:21:49There was an awful...
00:21:51A baboon.
00:21:54Well, let's not have a complete double duck.
00:21:56Fit.
00:21:57Fit.
00:22:46Mr. Schlocker, I think it means that you open a little bit of a glass.
00:22:57What's going on here?
00:22:58Why have we stopped?
00:23:00They're blasting up ahead, sir.
00:23:02They're what?
00:23:05Blasting, sir.
00:23:06For the new highway.
00:23:08Well, better wait it out, I suppose.
00:23:12Yes, sir.
00:23:12They won't be long, sir, Mr. Schlocker.
00:23:16The name is Schlocker, Mr. Bruno.
00:23:19Oh, please, sir.
00:23:21Bruno.
00:23:21Just plain Bruno, sir.
00:23:23Oh, very well, Bruno.
00:23:26I want to tell you I appreciate your cooperation in this matter.
00:23:30I wasn't expecting it, frankly.
00:23:35Cooperation, sir?
00:23:37Well, yes, sir.
00:23:39To tell you the truth, I was fully prepared to avail myself of the services of a marshal,
00:23:44should it be necessary.
00:23:46Well, thanks to your cooperation, it isn't.
00:23:49I appreciate that, and I'll do my best to see that you're not forgotten.
00:23:54Forgotten, sir?
00:23:56I don't quite understand.
00:23:58Well, in the disposition of the estate, I firmly believe that so many years of faithful service
00:24:05should not go unrewarded, no matter how ill-advised.
00:24:10Thank you, sir.
00:24:11Now, Bruno, I'd like to ask a few questions, if you don't mind.
00:24:16Very well, sir.
00:24:18Go ahead, sir.
00:24:20Now, it's my understanding that for the past several years,
00:24:24you have been the sole custodian of the three children of the late Titus W. Mary.
00:24:31Is that correct?
00:24:32As you say, sir, for some many years.
00:24:35And that these same three children have never been allowed the benefits of any sort of formal schooling.
00:24:42Oh, no, sir.
00:24:43The master wouldn't have allowed that.
00:24:46And professional medical care?
00:24:49On the contrary, sir.
00:24:50I assure you there have been regular and frequent visits.
00:24:53You mean they're not well?
00:24:56Well, as well as could be expected, sir.
00:25:00You see, they're not ordinary children.
00:25:04Well, I'm sure we can all agree to that, Bruno, but nevertheless...
00:25:08You see, they're, uh...
00:25:09Well, you might call them retarded.
00:25:12Retarded?
00:25:12Well, I should think so.
00:25:14Nearly full-grown and never a day of school.
00:25:16Well, sir, I...
00:25:17I don't think you understand, Mr. Shocker.
00:25:21I'm afraid you don't understand, my dear fellow.
00:25:23There are properly qualified institutions for the care of the, uh...
00:25:28The deprived.
00:25:29Especially when there are substantial estates to be administered.
00:25:34Now, frankly, I find the whole affair rather shocking.
00:25:37I may add, there are proper judicial remedies for such abuses.
00:25:53I don't think the master would like this.
00:25:57Come on, buddy.
00:25:58Let's get this car out of here.
00:26:00Yes, Rick.
00:26:01Yes.
00:26:22Ah, my dear Miss Hall.
00:26:24So nice to see you here.
00:26:27And the young Mr. Hall.
00:26:29Hi, Schlocker, how are you?
00:26:30Good to see you, my boy.
00:26:32B, this is my secretary, Miss Morris.
00:26:34Hi, Miss Morris.
00:26:35How do you do?
00:26:36Hi.
00:26:37Get the rest of it, Schlocker.
00:26:40Let's go in and take a look at the place.
00:26:42Oh, yes, sir.
00:26:43I've been away from the children too long already.
00:26:47You just follow me and I'll show you where to park your machine.
00:26:51But if I may ask a favor, please.
00:26:55Please treat the children tactfully.
00:26:57You see, they're not accustomed to strangers and they might act wild if encouraged.
00:27:09Now, ladies, this is your auntie Emily and your Uncle Peter.
00:27:14Elizabeth.
00:27:16And Virginia.
00:27:18There's two pretty names for two such pretty young ladies.
00:27:20Uh, this is Miss, uh...
00:27:23Ann.
00:27:24Ann.
00:27:25Uh, Ralph.
00:27:27Where's Ralph?
00:27:27Ralph?
00:27:29Ralph!
00:27:30Virginia!
00:27:34Ralph!
00:27:34Ralph! Ralph! Ralph! Ralph! Ralph! Ralph!
00:27:54Aw, he's all right, Emily. He's just a big kid.
00:27:58Yes, it's like you say, sir. He's just a big kid.
00:28:06Now, see here, Bruno. You don't seem to realize just how serious all this is.
00:28:12Now, these children are obviously in need of qualified professional care, wouldn't you say?
00:28:20Well, there's a great deal in what you say, sir.
00:28:23But I gave their father a solemn oath that I'd never allow their unfortunate malady to become the object of
00:28:31public scrutiny.
00:28:32Nonsense. The days when we hit our insane behind walls of shame went out with that old car of yours.
00:28:40They're talking about us, Virginia. I know.
00:28:44But, Mr. Shocker, an oath to a dying man, that can't be taken lightly.
00:28:49Now, Bruno, what do you mean by malady? I mean, well, I've seen backward kids, is it?
00:28:56Well, no, it's more than a retardation. It's sort of a regression, a progressive deterioration of the mental faculties, a
00:29:07rotting of the brain, so to speak.
00:29:08It begins in late childhood and progresses rapidly, ultimately resulting in physical deformity, rather like the last stages of paresis.
00:29:23Really that bad?
00:29:25Yes, sir. The Mary family, or at least this branch of them, have been afflicted for generations.
00:29:33And I'm sorry to say, sir, I think this is the last generation.
00:29:38What a shame. Bruno, you mean all three of these?
00:29:44Yes, sir. The unfortunate result of inbreeding.
00:29:51Never mind that now, Bruno. We can go into all that at the proper time.
00:29:56Let's see. Yes.
00:29:57I would like to know the whereabouts of certain other members of the Mary family.
00:30:02The two sisters of Titus W. Mary and brother named, I believe, Nedrick Mary, if alive.
00:30:13Alive? Well, you might say so, sir.
00:30:17Come on, Bruno. Don't beat around the bush.
00:30:19Are they around or not?
00:30:22They're talking about Uncle Ned. I know.
00:30:26Well, it became necessary to put them in a more private sort of an institution.
00:30:32My good man. Are you saying that you...
00:30:37...that the family chauffeur has been in sole charge of this entire estate and these minor children?
00:30:45Oh, I never thought of it that way, sir. You see, I promised the master that...
00:30:50Yeah. Yeah, yeah. We know all about that.
00:30:52Listen, Schlocker, it's been a long trip. I'd like to get cleaned up and get off my feet for a
00:30:57while.
00:30:57We can go through this after dinner.
00:31:00Dinner?
00:31:00Yes. It is dinner time. Matter of fact, Bruno, we intend to spend the night.
00:31:05Oh, no, sir. That's quite impossible. Why... Why... We're not prepared for guests.
00:31:11There seems to be a difference of opinion as to who is the guest and who the host here.
00:31:20You do have food in the house, don't you?
00:31:24Why... Yes, sir. You see, our diet is very austere.
00:31:28I... I suppose we could find something.
00:31:33Yes. Yes, I suppose we could.
00:31:48I smell a bug.
00:31:56A big, black, juicy...
00:32:34I'm proud of you, Virginia. You're doing so well.
00:32:41Ralph is ready, Bruno.
00:32:44Oh, thank you, Elizabeth. Bring him right down.
00:32:51My dear, there's no doubt in my mind that we have here an absolutely clear-cut prima facie open and
00:32:57shut case.
00:32:58Great.
00:32:59Now, all I want to know is what is it worth in dollars and cents?
00:33:04Well, that's a little difficult to tell at this juncture.
00:33:07Perhaps with an audit...
00:33:09Miss Morris, give me Schedule B.
00:33:11Oh, right here, Mr. Schlocker.
00:33:13Of course, this is only the visible part of the iceberg, so to speak.
00:33:16With more information, we can project the curve.
00:33:19Uh, hey.
00:33:21Hi, Ralph.
00:33:23Everly, look at Ralph.
00:33:25He's getting all dressed up for us.
00:33:28Oh, yes. Isn't he cute?
00:33:49Ladies and gentlemen, dinner is served.
00:33:55Well, at last.
00:33:56Thank you, Virginia.
00:33:57That was very good, Virginia.
00:34:00Can I feed Winifred now?
00:34:02Winifred? Oh, no, no, not now. Can't she wait?
00:34:06If she gets hungry, she'll go looking for something to eat.
00:34:09Oh, oh, oh. In that case, you go right ahead. But hurry up. Hurry up.
00:34:14I will, I will.
00:34:18Uh, hungry, Miss Morris?
00:34:20Oh, yes. I'm famished.
00:34:24Shall we then?
00:34:26Well, uh, there we are.
00:34:28Uh, just sit wherever you like.
00:34:30Uh, we're not very formal here at, uh, Mary House.
00:34:34And we haven't had, uh, guests in a long time.
00:34:37No, it's, it's been a long, long time.
00:34:40Uh, I, I might add that it's a great pleasure.
00:34:47You can sit down now, Ralph.
00:34:49Let's go.
00:35:05Winifred.
00:35:07Winifred.
00:35:23Winifred.
00:35:24Barney, you came back.
00:35:27Naughty Winifred.
00:35:29You didn't tell me.
00:35:31Virginia.
00:35:32We're waiting for you.
00:35:49Sit in your chair, Virginia.
00:35:51Please.
00:36:00Winifred.
00:36:06What... is that?
00:36:09Well, that's rabbit.
00:36:11Obviously.
00:36:13Not bad, Bruno.
00:36:15Looks stunned to a turn.
00:36:16Thank you, sir.
00:36:18I hope you enjoy it.
00:36:20You know, we're very fortunate to have meat for our guests.
00:36:23You see, uh, we're vegetarian.
00:36:26Vegetarians?
00:36:27It's dead.
00:36:28We don't eat dead things.
00:36:31But, good Lord, man. Why on her?
00:36:35Don't say it. You made a promise.
00:36:37It was no idle whim, I assure you.
00:36:40The master knew of the grave danger.
00:36:43The danger?
00:36:44Yes, Bruno. What is that supposed to mean?
00:36:47Well, the master believed, and he should know,
00:36:51that the eating of flesh would hasten the progress of their condition.
00:36:55Now, I've heard everything.
00:36:57Wait a minute, Bruno.
00:36:59Now, you mean like that old story about the lion cub,
00:37:01who's actually tame until he gets his first taste of fresh meat.
00:37:03Right?
00:37:04I'm afraid it's even more serious than that, sir.
00:37:11Well...
00:37:11Whatever that is.
00:37:14A rabbit, or what...
00:37:17Ever...
00:37:17I pass.
00:37:19Well, it looks good to me.
00:37:20Hey.
00:37:21Hey, I'll carve.
00:37:24Thank you, sir. Carry on.
00:37:27Oh, and I must tell you all, you have Ralph here to thank for providing it.
00:37:32Is that right? Good for you, Ralph.
00:37:37I'll...
00:37:38I'll, uh...
00:37:39I'll have something else.
00:37:46What do you call these?
00:37:48Ah, a rare treat.
00:37:50Our favorite dish.
00:37:52We call it, uh, souffled fungi.
00:37:55What?
00:37:57Mushroom, Schlocker.
00:37:58Oh, mushrooms.
00:38:00A real staple.
00:38:02They grow profusely on the grounds.
00:38:06And, uh...
00:38:07Did Ralph...
00:38:08Oh, no, no.
00:38:10Virginia provided these.
00:38:12You see, she has an uncanny knack for picking only the, uh...
00:38:17non-poisonous one.
00:38:21Come on, Schlocker. Let's not hog this stuff.
00:38:26There you go.
00:38:31Thank you, Uncle Peter.
00:38:36Thank you, Uncle Peter.
00:38:38Hey, Schlocker, you certainly can't say they're not polite.
00:38:47Oh, Miss Howe.
00:38:49If you don't feel up to the heavy affair,
00:38:51perhaps you'd like to try some of our fresh garden greens?
00:38:54Yeah, Emily. Here.
00:38:57Try the salad.
00:39:03Allow me.
00:39:08This thing isn't dressed.
00:39:18Isn't Ralph a vegetarian, too?
00:39:21Oh, yes.
00:39:22But Ralph's allowed to eat anything that he catches.
00:39:26No.
00:39:43Hello.
00:39:43Emily, this is very good.
00:39:45You don't know what you're missing.
00:39:47Well, as I told you, our diet is very austere.
00:39:51But it's most healthy.
00:39:53You know, that's great.
00:39:53I think everybody ought to eat like that.
00:39:55Oh, we have our delicacies, too.
00:39:57But they're not in season right now.
00:40:05Oh, no, no, sir.
00:40:06You wouldn't want any of that.
00:40:11Oh, no.
00:40:13Well, I guess not.
00:40:15Yeah.
00:40:29What do you think about spending the night now, Emily?
00:40:33You couldn't drag me away, Peter.
00:40:35Good show, my dear.
00:40:37I'm with you.
00:40:38Oh, it's like I told you, sir.
00:40:40It's absolutely...
00:40:41Well, there's nothing more to say, Bruno.
00:40:43Now, let's make things easy on yourself.
00:40:45We want to be fair.
00:40:48The sisters can move in together.
00:40:50And you and Ralph?
00:40:53Well, we might do that.
00:40:56Oh, no, no.
00:40:57It's quite impossible.
00:40:58It's too dangerous.
00:41:00You see, this is an old building.
00:41:03The wood is rotten.
00:41:05You'd have to know your way about in the dark.
00:41:09Nonsense.
00:41:10The next thing you'll tell us, it's haunted.
00:41:12Oh, no.
00:41:14Nothing like that.
00:41:15He means they're vampires.
00:41:17Oh, yes, and werewolves.
00:41:19Are you a horror film fan, Miss Morse?
00:41:21Oh, yes, I love it.
00:41:23Dracula, Frankenstein.
00:41:25And the mummy?
00:41:26Oh, the mummy.
00:41:27I love the mummy.
00:41:28The way he walks.
00:41:30Steps, scrape.
00:41:32Steps, scrape.
00:41:33Oh, and the wolfman.
00:41:37There's going to be a full moon tonight.
00:41:57Oh, no.
00:41:57Oh, no.
00:41:58Oh, no.
00:42:01Oh, no.
00:42:04Uh, Mr. Schlocker.
00:42:07I mean, if you don't need me anymore tonight, I could just as well stay in down...
00:42:12There's an inn in the village.
00:42:14Um, as I see it, there are only two rooms anyway.
00:42:18Uh, Peter, if you took the car, do you think you could find lodgings for Miss Morse?
00:42:23Yeah, I saw a motel coming in, yeah.
00:42:25Fine, fine.
00:42:27Good idea.
00:42:28Just be sure you have her back on time, young man.
00:42:31Busy day ahead, you know.
00:42:32Don't worry.
00:42:34Thank you, Mr. Howe.
00:42:35You're very welcome.
00:42:38Children, some of our guests are going to stay the night.
00:42:41Would you come help me prepare the rooms?
00:42:44Yes, Bruno.
00:42:48Ah!
00:42:50Spider!
00:42:54Got it.
00:42:56Eat spiders.
00:43:00We have lots of spiders.
00:43:05Do you like spiders, Mr. Howe?
00:43:07Oh, sure, Virginia.
00:43:09I love spiders.
00:43:11Who are you?
00:43:12Would you like to play spider with me?
00:43:14Virginia.
00:43:15Sure.
00:43:16I'll play spider with you.
00:43:18Maybe tomorrow.
00:43:20I'm sorry, Mr. Howe, that we couldn't accommodate everyone.
00:43:23But I'll be looking forward to seeing you tomorrow.
00:43:25Hey, me too, Bruno.
00:43:27Thank you, sir.
00:43:28Thank you very much.
00:43:31Good night, kids.
00:43:33Ah, well, Miss Morse, we should be getting another start.
00:43:36I'd like that very much, Mr. Howe.
00:43:39Hello.
00:43:43Hello.
00:43:46Hey.
00:43:49This is the phoniest setup I've ever seen.
00:43:58There is something terribly wrong here, and I intend to find out exactly what it is.
00:44:09There we go.
00:44:14Say, it's still early, Miss Morse.
00:44:17Perhaps you'd like to have a drink at that inn in the village that Bruno mentioned?
00:44:21I'd like that very much, Mr. Howe.
00:44:23Oh, and maybe a sandwich, if you don't mind.
00:44:26Oh, and maybe a sandwich, if you don't mind.
00:44:51Mm-hmm.
00:44:53Elizabeth, are you scared?
00:44:56Scared of what?
00:44:58You know, those people.
00:45:02I hate them.
00:45:04You're not supposed to hate.
00:45:06You should, too.
00:45:08They don't like spiders.
00:45:10I know.
00:45:14That little man looks just like a big, fat butt, doesn't he?
00:45:21Yes, he does.
00:45:27You know what I'd like to do?
00:45:33It's really lots of fun things, spider.
00:45:36Virginia.
00:45:38You bet.
00:45:52I'm coming to tuck you in, Daddy.
00:46:02Nighty-night, Daddy.
00:46:37You are just one out of the house.
00:46:37You are just one out of the house.
00:46:37You're just one out of the house.
00:46:39They're missing you, Daddy.
00:46:39I'm coming to...
00:46:39You are fucking world.
00:46:40I'm coming to rule the house I'm coming...
00:46:40If you're living right here.
00:46:41Your home is this, dear baby.
00:46:41If you're living right here, you are living right here.
00:46:44I'm coming out of the house.
00:46:45Let's go.
00:46:53THE END
00:47:21THE END
00:47:54THE END
00:48:02THE END
00:48:15THE END
00:48:19THE END
00:48:55THE END
00:49:00THE END
00:49:33THE END
00:49:34THE END
00:49:45THE END
00:49:45THE END
00:49:57THE END
00:50:03THE END
00:50:11THE END
00:50:11THE END
00:50:18THE END
00:50:18THE END
00:50:29THE END
00:50:29THE END
00:50:33THE END
00:50:34THE END
00:50:34THE END
00:50:43THE END
00:50:44THE END
00:50:44THE END
00:50:53THE END
00:50:55THE END
00:51:02THE END
00:51:02THE END
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00:51:20THE END
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00:51:31THE END
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00:51:41THE END
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00:51:50THE END
00:51:50THE END
00:51:50THE END
00:51:50THE END
00:51:53THE END
00:52:01THE END
00:52:06Oh, my God.
00:52:55Oh, my God.
00:53:02Oh, my God.
00:53:59Oh, my God.
00:54:11Oh, my God.
00:54:22Oh, my God.
00:54:27Oh, my God.
00:54:37Oh, my God.
00:54:59Oh, my God.
00:55:02Oh, my God.
00:55:20Oh, my God.
00:55:23Oh, my God.
00:55:24Oh, my God.
00:55:27Oh, my God.
00:55:27Oh, my God.
00:55:28Oh, my God.
00:55:30Oh, my God.
00:55:30Oh, my God.
00:55:30Oh, my God.
00:55:36Oh, my God.
00:55:53Oh, my God.
00:56:24Oh, my God.
00:56:30Oh, my God.
00:57:06Oh, my God.
00:57:18Oh, my God.
00:58:06Oh, my God.
00:58:17Oh, my God.
00:58:39Oh, my God.
00:59:03Oh, my God.
00:59:49Oh, my God.
01:00:21Oh, my God.
01:00:43Oh, my God.
01:01:01Oh, my God.
01:01:26Oh, my God.
01:01:47Oh, my God.
01:02:09Oh, my God.
01:02:36Oh, my God.
01:03:05Oh, my God.
01:03:31Oh, my God.
01:03:36Oh, my God.
01:03:40Oh, my God.
01:04:20Oh, my God.
01:04:42Oh, my God.
01:04:55Oh, my God.
01:05:03Oh, my God.
01:05:41Oh, my God.
01:05:53Oh, my God.
01:06:26Oh, my God.
01:06:27Oh, my God.
01:07:22Oh, my God.
01:07:46Oh, my God.
01:07:59Oh, my God.
01:08:16Oh, my God.
01:08:26Oh, my God.
01:09:00Oh, my God.
01:09:09Oh, my God.
01:09:14Oh, my God.
01:09:18Oh, my God.
01:09:20Oh, my God.
01:09:22Oh, my God.
01:09:29He'll be along by and by.
01:09:32Now, Uncle Peter, you just make yourself right at home.
01:09:36Uh, Virginia, dear, you may entertain Uncle Peter
01:09:40while I take care of the pretty lady.
01:09:44Uh, it's all right. It's all right.
01:09:50I'm sure Elizabeth knows what to do.
01:09:54Well, if you really think so.
01:09:56Sure. Listen, Emily, it's very easy to get along with.
01:10:00When she's asleep.
01:10:01Uh, well, that won't be necessary.
01:10:04And we'll have Daddy's room.
01:10:07It's really very nice.
01:10:10There you go. See?
01:10:13Thank you, Elizabeth. You're really very kind.
01:10:19Well, good night.
01:10:24See you in the morning.
01:10:25Mm-hmm.
01:10:27It's awfully nice.
01:10:29And this way, pretty lady.
01:10:37I'm glad you came back.
01:10:40I like you.
01:10:46I like you, too.
01:10:58You're a nice lady.
01:11:00I liked you right away.
01:11:02You're not like those others.
01:11:04Oh, Virginia likes you, too.
01:11:06And Ralph.
01:11:07And Ralph.
01:11:08We all like you.
01:11:09And Uncle Peter, too.
01:11:15You'd never tell.
01:11:18No matter what Bruno says.
01:11:24You'd never tell.
01:11:26Well, I know you wouldn't.
01:11:29I like you, pretty lady.
01:11:32Pretty lady.
01:11:34You, too.
01:11:35I don't know you.
01:11:36I'm glad you've ever gotten here.
01:11:37No matter what.
01:11:38No matter how long.
01:11:42Come on.
01:11:43No matter what you've done.
01:11:43You're going to have to go.
01:11:46Come on.
01:11:48No, no matter what you've done.
01:11:50Oh, no matter where you've done,
01:12:08And the big black spider goes round and round and wraps the bug all up on her spider web.
01:12:18Virginia, what happens when the spider gets the bug all wrapped up in a web?
01:12:24Aha, I won't tell.
01:12:28Ah, all right.
01:12:31How long is it to play this game?
01:12:32Oh, we're almost done.
01:12:38There now.
01:12:45Virginia.
01:12:54Hey, what's the spider, what's the spider do now?
01:12:57What?
01:12:58Oh, yes.
01:12:59Um, now the spider does a little dance for the bug.
01:13:06She has to tease him, torment him, and make him wigger so that his juice will taste better.
01:13:19Virginia, I think we'd better play another game.
01:13:23Uncle Peter, do you like that pretty lady?
01:13:28Yes.
01:13:29Yes, I do.
01:13:41Do you like me?
01:13:47When does Mr. Bruno come back?
01:13:51Bruno won't hate me.
01:13:52He promised.
01:13:56Spiders like bugs.
01:14:00They taste good.
01:14:06But I guess bugs don't like spiders very much.
01:14:10I like spiders.
01:14:11I like spiders.
01:14:14I do, too.
01:14:17Well...
01:14:20I guess I have to sting you now.
01:14:23You have to what?
01:14:32Uh, Virginia, what about Mr. Schlocker?
01:14:34Mr. Schlocker?
01:14:36Hey, Schlocker!
01:14:37Sting!
01:14:44Well, I have to go away for a minute.
01:14:52But I'll be right back.
01:14:56Don't go away, bug.
01:15:08What are we going to do with her?
01:15:09Ralph can't let go.
01:15:12I...
01:15:16What do you mean, what are we going to do with her?
01:15:19Don't you know?
01:15:19You made this plan.
01:15:21But I didn't have enough time to finish it.
01:15:25She wiggles just like a big squiggly bug in a spiderweb.
01:15:35Hmm.
01:15:37Uncle Ned could make her quiet.
01:15:39No.
01:15:40Bruno would be very mad.
01:15:43Anyway, Ralph likes her, see?
01:15:45We mustn't hurt her.
01:15:50Just make her quiet.
01:15:53Ah!
01:15:56Now, Spider is very clever.
01:16:01She very cleverly...
01:16:06drains the vital juices from the bug's body.
01:16:12And that makes the bug stop squiggling.
01:16:17Would that make her stop squiggling?
01:16:25Help me find something sharp.
01:16:27clip fa councils or...
01:16:48Here.
01:16:49Come on.
01:16:51I'm gonna run.
01:16:53Come on.
01:16:54Come on.
01:16:54Go on.
01:16:58Oh, oh, oh.
01:17:05Oh, oh, oh.
01:17:14Ralph?
01:17:18Hold her!
01:17:19Yeah, all I'm gonna do is like a little teeny.
01:17:22How much did we let Ren out?
01:17:24Just enough to make her quiet.
01:17:27Then Ralph can play with her better.
01:17:54Ralph?
01:17:55Emily?
01:18:00Ralph?
01:18:01No, no, Emily, I'm in here.
01:18:03Me?
01:18:04Where you been?
01:18:05For heaven's sake, give me a hand.
01:18:07That little fiend tied me up.
01:18:18Professor?
01:18:21Let's go.
01:18:22Come over, Anna.
01:18:23I'm coming, Anna.
01:18:24Hold on.
01:18:26Come over.
01:18:34I'm coming, Anna.
01:18:37Hold on.
01:19:25Help me!
01:19:27Help me!
01:19:31Help!
01:19:33Help!
01:19:34Help!
01:19:35Help!
01:19:35Help!
01:19:38Help!
01:19:51Children.
01:19:57That lady hurt Ralph.
01:20:00Ralph will be all well very soon.
01:20:05I brought that wonderful surprise I promised you.
01:20:15Let me see! Let me see! What is this?
01:20:20This is a secret surprise.
01:20:53Oh, sir! I don't know how you got yourself into this predicament, but I suggest that you leave the premises
01:20:59as quickly as possible!
01:21:01Where's Ann?
01:21:03Ann, where's Ann?
01:21:16If I were you, I'd hurry, sir.
01:21:18I'm hurrying! I'm hurrying!
01:21:30What's it gonna do, Bruno?
01:21:33Well, it's gonna make a big flash and go bang!
01:21:38Look! Oh, boy!
01:21:45Lookie!
01:21:49Uncle Ned!
01:21:50Ah um...
01:21:53Oh!
01:21:55Oh, boy!
01:21:59That's all right!
01:22:00Uh-huh.
01:22:20Uh, being the only survivor, naturally, I inherited the wealth of the Marys,
01:22:25which, uh, later turned out to be quite vast.
01:22:30Uh, more important than that, though, my wife.
01:22:35That's our daughter, Jessica.
01:22:43Mommy, may I go outside now?
01:22:48Well, all right, Jessica, dear.
01:22:50But be sure and come back into the house if it starts raining again.
01:22:53Oh, I will, Mommy.
01:23:07And so the Marys Syndrome was extinguished forever with the family that carried it.
01:23:15Uh, my own branch of the family, being rather distant, we never suffered from the, uh, curse.
01:23:22It.
01:23:24It.
01:23:42Let's go.
01:24:10Let's go.
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