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Taskmaster Australia S05E05 >>> https://dai.ly/xafdghy
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00:08Oh
00:34You're gonna be like this today
00:44Hello and welcome to Taskmaster
00:47My name is Tom Gleeson and this is the show that has people's eyes glued to the screen
00:52That's not a metaphor one of the upcoming tasks is glue your eyes to a screen fastest wins or is
00:57it?
00:58I don't know. I'm watching all this crap for the first time. Just like you
01:03Vying for my love and attention tonight. We have a nice and Nandala
01:14Creasy and one more time we have Perth's very own Rose McManus
01:22And beside me as always the young man who for some reason is always a bit sticky. It's Tom Cashman
01:29All right, let's dive into a prize task shall we?
01:37I think we shall our first task is a prize task as usual the winner of tonight's episode will take
01:42home all five of these prizes tonight
01:44Our contestants have been asked to bring in what they consider to be the thing that definitely isn't the Taskmaster
01:49But when it's squinted at most looks like him
01:54Okay, well this feels pointedly offensive
01:58Which makes me love it all right Joel I've gone with a bowling pin
02:12I'm kind of with you on the head, but I'd like to think that the body does not quite
02:18She's curvy she's curvy so by that is he saying you're a pale redneck
02:26Yes, that's exactly yeah, thank you right look at that's what I meant
02:30All right, Anissa what did you bring in I looked all across the web
02:34For something that I thought looked most like you and I think it is slender man
02:45First you're a redneck now you're doing blackface
02:53Although on the upside you do look pretty skinny
02:58I must admit I don't know who slender man is who slender man
03:00I don't know much about slender man, but really pasta. He's like online folklore. Yeah. Yeah, he kills people. Oh
03:08Usually children, but he looks fabulous doing it. He is slender
03:12So good. I don't kill children only careers
03:17Speaking of Rove. What did you bring in?
03:25Um, I brought this picture. Yes, which looks nothing like you
03:30Except it's one of those 3d
03:33The image things and it legitimately works that it has your face in there when you squint the image comes
03:40out
03:40Can I say as well? I've tried it. It actually is it works. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'll try it.
03:45Go on
03:47We got it. We got it in the squinty eyes. Yeah
03:50Blackface and squinty eyes in one episode. Yeah
03:57Now we just need to get you to do an accent and it'll be a home run
04:01Yeah, I could just unleash some of my actual opinions
04:07All right, Celia, what did you bring in? Oh, okay. I have a two-year-old so I spend a
04:12lot of time at play centers
04:14Often before they open going let me in look after my kids so I can look at my phone
04:18And I was in a play center in a
04:22Toilet cubicle and when I saw this
04:27Now it takes a bit of squinty, but it also needs your one of your classic faces
04:30You know when you do the eyebrow race thing which makes one of your eyes
04:32So can you do that face like that?
04:37And what's so nice is in the reflection we can see you taking a dump. Well
04:42I did want to clear that up because I don't want you to think Tom that I was thinking about
04:45you whilst I was on the toilet doing a poo
04:47my daughter was
04:56I'm just happy to appeal to a younger audience
04:59All right, Brent well the thing that most looks like you is hidden in the audience
05:04So if you want to go have a little look what? Oh, yeah, he's gonna love this. Yeah, do you
05:08want to yell out your line?
05:10I'm a bald dickhead, and I host two TV shows
05:20It's your brother that's funny
05:23You know what?
05:26My brother and I our voices sound identical I must admit when you started talking I was thinking I don't
05:31remember recording that
05:33Because our voices sound exactly the same say that line bro which line the bald dickhead part
05:39All right house to TV shows now our voices sound exactly the same our voices sound exactly the same
05:47It's fucked up isn't it
05:52My favorite part of that was Brett screaming. It's your brother. It's funny. I
05:58Didn't know if you could see it. You guys could be bad. I don't know
06:01All right, well, I guess I better make up some points. Yes, I must admit I had I hadn't heard
06:06of the slender man
06:07So I'm gonna I'm gonna give an ESA one okay
06:09Then I'm gonna give two points to Joel because it kind of looked like me
06:13But I think the the body did not look like me at all also as very literal definition
06:18But I did like it if you squint you can see me in the magic eye picture so three points
06:22to row
06:22Okay, also, I really like the lateral thinking of Celia. It was like looking in a mirror
06:28But for five points, I'm going to give it to Brett
06:30But this is mostly because Nick is my younger brother, and he really wants my approval so I'm giving Brett
06:35five points
06:41Okay, that's enough real life for me our time to stare blankly at a screen
06:45I think are you got a little task for me there mr. Cashman. I certainly do I present to you
06:49the presence of presence
07:10That was not a joke we're
07:14For me mm-hmm you rapped and one not very well
07:21This is like a word one I don't like word ones is it Scrabble do you like Scrabble does it
07:28look like I like Scrabble
07:30Shall we
07:33Correctly place the remaining letters each box either contains letters or clues you may not leave the lab, but I
07:40hate the lab
07:43Fewest boxes opened wins your time starts now
07:48I love it. It's a word puzzle. Am I meant to make a word?
07:53You're gonna be like this today, are you? Does someone want another mono brown?
08:01Okay, whose miserable attempt at solving this puzzle shall we see first they haven't torn up letters this quickly since
08:07they received the invites to my 30th
08:09It's a piece up Celia and Joel
08:12So this is meant to be a word. It's probably safest to go with a vowel. I'm gonna buy a
08:17vowel
08:20It's a little muffin. Oh, I've got a cupcake. It's of summer's birthday, so it's a something to do with
08:25a birthday
08:26What's that a cake? I just want to look everywhere. There's always like a clue somewhere. Oh
08:34Year month day now a smart person get something from this that doesn't really help me, but it will I'm
08:42gonna buy another vowel
08:44It's like it's my birthday. I love it
08:47My favorite type of man what man a man without a head one who can't talk
08:54Let us
08:56Am I the dumbest person to have been on this show? I'm smart as fuck so we're gonna work it
09:01out
09:05Four eyes oh yeah isn't that great a whole bunch of eyes
09:10What is that that's my umbilical cord? No, it's not
09:14Why is it massive? I was a big baby if we're gonna go the birthday thing then the R
09:22Jesus's birthday when she says his birthday, I think you know when Jesus's birthday is this is your mom's placenta
09:29I'm gonna be really upset it was bigger than that
09:34What's this to you Tom Cashman I can play the song if you want yes, please
09:43I'm gonna be happy with that
10:00Happy with that? Oh really?
10:03Okay whose birthday is it happy birthday to who oh
10:07Ah! Happy birthday, Anissa!
10:10All right, so it's my birthday.
10:13I thought that was a letter.
10:15Roman numerals for dummies.
10:17Are they Roman numerals?
10:20What does that mean?
10:22Ah, sick! Ah, sick, sick, sick!
10:25What is this?
10:29Oh, a Roman numeral!
10:32This bitch is...
10:33But it doesn't make sense.
10:35What doesn't?
10:36The task.
10:37My birthday is the 8th.
10:39So 8th is V-I-I.
10:42Cake, cupcake, birthday cake, birthday...
10:49Lettuce.
10:50It is very rude to make a woman puzzle her age on television.
10:57That's...83.
11:10Come on, brother.
11:11There's a gap.
11:12Yeah, but you know what I'm trying to say.
11:19What does that say?
11:20Do you know what? I don't need to know.
11:22Thanks, Tom.
11:23Can I keep this?
11:24No, actually.
11:24Thanks, I'm going to keep this.
11:25Thank you. Bye.
11:28APPLAUSE
11:32Quite a tricky little task, that one.
11:34I've got to say, Joel, when you asked,
11:36am I the dumbest person that's ever done this show,
11:39was that a rhetorical question?
11:40LAUGHTER
11:42And I wear it with pride.
11:44I just put the letters in until they made sense.
11:47I only now know it was my birthday,
11:49and, yes, I was born in 1990.
11:52LAUGHTER
11:53Were you?
11:53Yes, Tom, I might have had a little bit done.
11:57Yes, I'm not that old.
11:59Usually when people get things done to their face,
12:01it makes them look younger.
12:03LAUGHTER
12:06So, Anissa, how long was it between you saying,
12:08I'm smart as fuck, and when's Jesus' birthday?
12:12LAUGHTER
12:15How far apart were those two statements?
12:17There was a lot going on.
12:17Roman numerals, Jesus' birthday, it was a lot to focus on.
12:21I knew it was my birthday, I knew it was Roman numerals,
12:24but I just couldn't put those two things together.
12:27LAUGHTER
12:27Just basic primary school comprehension skills
12:29to combine the two things.
12:30OK, but Celia, you were onto it.
12:32Well, when I found the thing under the thing,
12:34I was just, I was so excited.
12:36And then I went around shaking the boxes
12:37to figure out which ones had tiles in them.
12:39But I thought it was your birthday for a very long time.
12:42If it was my birthday, I would have had a big smile.
12:46Yuck!
12:48You know...
12:51And you souvenired something at the end there, Celia.
12:53Tom's umbilical cord.
12:54Oh.
12:55Oh.
12:56Why were you attracted to that?
12:57I'm going to clone him.
12:59LAUGHTER
12:59I'm going to have an island of Tom's and you can hunt him.
13:04LAUGHTER
13:06Well, I think we need to get to the scores.
13:08Joel took 58 minutes and 50 seconds...
13:11LAUGHTER
13:11..and opened XV boxes.
13:13That's 15.
13:14LAUGHTER
13:15Anissa took one hour and 12 minutes...
13:18Oh, no.
13:18..and opened XIII boxes.
13:21That's 13.
13:21So two ahead of Joel.
13:23Celia took just 24 minutes
13:26and only opened X boxes.
13:28APPLAUSE
13:32All right, time for a break for the length of about CLXXX seconds.
13:37See you soon.
13:40APPLAUSE
13:50Welcome back to Taskmaster, where we're reliving everyone's favourite part of childhood.
13:55Year 10 Latin.
13:56That's right.
13:57It's puzzle time.
13:58Our contestants are trying to recreate their birthdays in Roman numerals.
14:02Fewest boxes opened wins.
14:04He was pissed off even being in the room.
14:06How pissed off can he get during the task?
14:08It's Brett Blake.
14:09APPLAUSE
14:09It's like Christmas.
14:10You're meant to start with the small box.
14:12But I've never done that in my life.
14:19Grand piano.
14:20It's not a grand piano.
14:21What does that say, mate?
14:23Oh.
14:24It says grand piano.
14:25Would you like me to play something?
14:26No.
14:28Cupcake.
14:28It's something to do with birthday.
14:30M.
14:31M!
14:32How do I make this game stop?
14:37Dice.
14:42Dice.
14:43Thongs.
14:45It's like Roman or some shit.
14:47Birthday.
14:48Roman.
14:49It's Roman numerals.
14:51I'm getting it, but I'm not getting it.
14:53Jesus wore sandals.
14:55Was Jesus in Gladiator?
14:58What the fuck is that?
14:59It's an umbilical gourd.
15:01Yes.
15:02Birthday.
15:02Someone's birthday.
15:03Someone's birthday.
15:04I get it, but I don't get it.
15:10Happy birthday.
15:12Jesus.
15:12Careful.
15:13Taskmaster.
15:14It'll be fun.
15:15Will it?
15:16You're not on the show, dickhead.
15:19Lettuce.
15:20Funny.
15:22Socks.
15:23It's a shit Christmas present.
15:24Funny.
15:26Oh, I know how to make the game end.
15:27If I just open everything, then I fucking lose.
15:31Oh, it's a notepad.
15:32It probably says happy birthday.
15:33I get it, but I don't get it.
15:35Happy birthday, Brett.
15:36That's actually quite sweet.
15:37Um, that's really nice.
15:38Thank you, John.
15:39Look at that there.
15:41Psych.
15:43Idiot.
15:44Happy birthday, Brett.
15:45Wait, what's my birthday?
15:47Is it something to do with my birthday?
15:48Jesus.
15:49Am I Jesus?
15:50It's a clue.
15:55Have you considered thinking about the clues rather than...
15:58No!
15:58I'm not.
15:59I am thinking.
16:00This is how I think.
16:04It's a wreath.
16:06Bejesus.
16:08I need this task.
16:10Least boxes wins.
16:12Fewest.
16:13Don't.
16:15Roman numerals for dummies.
16:16Bejesus.
16:17So I'm like, okay, I've got to read this.
16:19And then like, a beautiful mind on a board, figure it out or something.
16:23Guess what?
16:23I'm not doing it.
16:24This is the last box.
16:26V.
16:27V for victory.
16:30I'm done.
16:31I'm done.
16:40That is the Brett Blake we have come to know and love.
16:44I mean, so you said all the answers.
16:48Yes, but I didn't understand.
16:49It was a birthday.
16:50I was like, what's Jesus' birthday?
16:52Is it Christmas or New Year?
16:54I didn't understand.
16:57I didn't know.
16:57Who knows?
16:58You even said Roman numerals.
17:00Out loud.
17:01I had all the data, but just no bridge between the letters and how it all...
17:06At one point you had a birthday card for yourself and you came up with,
17:10Am I Jesus?
17:13I could be.
17:14I don't know what the challenge or task was.
17:16I reckon Jesus would have nailed this.
17:19Give me another thing to throw at you.
17:24Over the years I've opened a lot of boxes and I've never thought to drop an elbow on it.
17:29You've got university energy, I've got TAFE.
17:32We're different.
17:33Okay, so you're saying like getting a knife and just gently opening a box.
17:37University.
17:38TAFE!
17:39Yeah.
17:40That's a great ad though.
17:42TAFE!
17:42I'd go!
17:44University.
17:45TAFE!
17:46Alright, well I think we have to look at the score.
17:49Well, Brett opened every box.
17:52Yeah, but don't I get a point for being cool?
17:54Well, no, because you haven't really watched the show before and unfortunately if you had,
17:58you'd know people who give up on a task, I punish.
18:02Oh.
18:02So I'm going to have to deduct a point.
18:04Okay.
18:05Because you gave up.
18:06Okay.
18:06I feel like you watch the footage, you assume you were there for 23 minutes and 42 seconds.
18:12Not that long.
18:13Anissa gave it an hour.
18:15And I still don't know when Jesus' birthday is, so...
18:18Who's left then?
18:19Who better to finish off a task about Ancient Rome, it's Ancient Rome!
18:25I'm going to have a think.
18:27My task is to correctly place the remaining letters.
18:32I'm going to say that these are the two remaining letters.
18:36Because if I take these away, there are no more letters remaining.
18:40And then we finally have all the letters back in their box.
18:44Am I right, Tom?
18:46That is not for me to say.
18:49But I'm glad we had this time.
18:52You're done.
18:52Oh, what's Brett Blake going to say now?
18:55Thanks, Tom.
18:56Thanks, Rob.
19:00Well, I guess I need to be the judge and I have to ask,
19:03is this an ingenious execution of the task?
19:06Is it a hack?
19:07Yeah, it's not.
19:08Zero points.
19:10But I like what you're thinking.
19:12It was replace the remaining letters opening the least amount of boxes.
19:17So I thought if I put the two remaining M's back in the M box, I have therefore opened zero
19:22presents.
19:23Wrong!
19:24What kind of psychopath can walk into a room full of wrapped boxes and not open a single one?
19:30Oh, my God!
19:32Wait, how am I?
19:33The psychopath?
19:34I don't know.
19:34I'm really disturbed.
19:36Alright, so what are the scores overall for the task?
19:38Well, that means we've got Brett with minus one.
19:40Rove with zero because he didn't do anything.
19:43Joel gets three points.
19:44Anissa gets four but Celia wins the task with five points.
19:48And I feel like we need the overall scores for this episode.
19:52Rove is in last place with three points.
19:54Celia is out in front with nine points.
19:58Jeez, it doesn't get much better than this.
20:01We'll have a break because with great TV comes great ads.
20:05See you soon.
20:18Welcome back to Taskmaster where our comics are competing for the most prestigious prize in television.
20:24A commercial toilet roll holder.
20:26Sir Tom, fire up another one for us.
20:28This next one is about big and small things.
20:30Like for example, the Taskmaster's ego.
20:33And the sun.
20:47Tom!
20:49Tom!
20:50Hello, Tom.
20:51Hi Celia.
20:52Hello, Tom.
20:53Hi Brett.
20:54Big task.
20:55Oh, it's teeny tiny.
20:56So small.
20:57How cute.
20:57Shall we?
20:58Let's go.
21:00Choose your favourite little item on the Taskmaster retreat.
21:04Choose your favourite big item on the Taskmaster retreat.
21:08Once you have chosen it, you must all put your hand on it and say,
21:11this is our favourite big item.
21:14This is our favourite little item.
21:16You have five minutes.
21:18Your time starts now.
21:21What's a tiny thing?
21:22I like the knife.
21:23It's a nice big suit of armour.
21:25We could have picked Tom.
21:26Do you want it to be Tom?
21:27Yeah, I think Tom is.
21:28I think so.
21:28What a good thing.
21:29We've got some time to dress him up.
21:31Yeah!
21:31Let's do that!
21:32I'm happy to go with the suit of armour.
21:34I think it's big compared to children.
21:37Jacket off is effective.
21:38Jacket off.
21:38I think they're baby hair though.
21:40But why am I a baby?
21:43Because you're little.
21:43Because you're little.
21:44This is our favourite big item.
21:47This is our favourite little item.
21:49This is our favourite little item.
21:51Um, could you pass me my jacket please Brad?
21:54Oh no, this is going to be a trap.
21:57Oh, I hate when they do this.
22:00Alright, we've got another one.
22:02What?
22:04Create a reality show starring your chosen little item.
22:07All team mates must also be in the reality show.
22:11Most realistic reality show wins.
22:13You have 30 minutes.
22:15Great.
22:15Your time starts now.
22:17Oh my god, is it like, is it like the, you know.
22:19Toddlers and tiaras.
22:20Toddlers and tiaras!
22:21Maybe that's it.
22:21It's supposed to be real real.
22:22Yeah, I've never seen it but I reckon whatever makes Tom uncomfortable, I'm stoked with that.
22:26Ooh, that alone one, where people have-
22:29I love that show!
22:31They starved themselves in Tasmania.
22:38Okay, well we've got the teams are back.
22:41Obviously we've got the breakfast show, which is Rov and Anissa.
22:43And we've got the drive show, which is Celia and Brett with Joel Creasy.
22:48I thought it was interesting that one team had to get your favourite big thing
22:51and the other team had to get your favourite small thing and they were the same size.
22:57Who's got this are we gonna watch first, Lester Tom?
22:59Up first, starring a suit of armour, it's Anissa and Rove.
23:18I don't even know what day it is.
23:20I'm struggling.
23:21I'm really struggling.
23:22I've been eating sticks for a month.
23:27I know a lot of people back home bet money for me to win this because I'm African
23:31and living without resources should be easy but...
23:36I'm really struggling.
23:37I miss my family.
23:39I miss food.
23:41I haven't shit in a week.
23:44It has to be longer than that.
23:46I haven't shit in three weeks.
23:49Yeah, g'day.
23:50It's Leroy.
23:52I'm tapping out.
23:53And I think it's time for me to go home.
23:55I can't.
23:57I can't.
23:59I can't.
24:00Hang on, just let everyone take that in for a sec.
24:04You know that's pretty...
24:05You okay?
24:05Everyone okay?
24:07Yeah, look, it's tough but hanging in there as best I can and I'm not ready to tap.
24:12I just want to stay.
24:14I've got more in me.
24:15I know I can...
24:16Surprise!
24:17Mum?
24:18Dad?
24:18Gavin, you've won, son.
24:20You've won!
24:21You're so proud, Gavin.
24:23Oh, you did it, boy.
24:25Beautiful boy.
24:27Oh, bloody what?
24:28Oh, you've lost so much weight.
24:31Oh, I'm sweating.
24:32It's very sweaty in here.
24:33Be careful now.
24:34Oh, our hero.
24:37Oh, gracious me.
24:38Oh, I've got to get back to court.
24:45I think The Breakfast Show did a great job.
24:47Anissa, I thought it was very moving how you were brought to tears because you missed your true love shitting.
24:54It was very emotional.
24:55Yeah, feels fantastic.
24:59You do realise in the bush you can shit anywhere.
25:02Yeah, I don't know why I said that.
25:05But like I said, it was very moving.
25:07And that's true to the show, isn't it?
25:09That's how the winner is announced.
25:10Yes, they don't know that they've won until their loved ones come and tell them it's all over.
25:14Okay.
25:15And it's equally as emotional as that.
25:19Alright, let's watch the other guys now.
25:21Oh, no.
25:21Next up, starring me, it's Celia, Brett and Joel.
25:26Oh, he's a monkey.
25:31Welcome back.
25:32The annual Toddlers and Tiaras Big Dog Energy event is about to begin.
25:36The competitors come from all over the world to compete and this year the returning champion back to protect his
25:41crown is Chad with his mother, Jessica.
25:44I'm Jessica here with the reigning champion, my boy Chad.
25:48Say hi, Chad.
25:48Hi, my name's Chad.
25:50It's Chad.
25:50I love beers.
25:51I love beer nouns and I love movies.
25:53No, you love crayons.
25:54You love crayons.
25:55It's five.
25:56But the contestant that everyone is talking about is newcomer direct from the Paris Olympics, the in Paris family, Tommy
26:02and his mother Emily.
26:03We are very, uh, uh, how you say?
26:06Uh, overjoyed.
26:08Overjoyed to be here, uh, competing against these, uh, trashy.
26:13Trashy, disgusting, uh, piggy.
26:15Piggy.
26:16Oh, under toi.
26:17Oh, under toi.
26:18Oh, hey there.
26:19Hi.
26:20Yes, Tommy.
26:20Bonjour.
26:21Hi, Emily.
26:22And, uh, Tommy in Paris.
26:23Oh, my God.
26:24I think they're speaking in tongues.
26:25They're you two.
26:26Praise Jesus.
26:26Jesus beyond you.
26:28Anyway, we're just gonna say good luck.
26:29You wanna give him a hug?
26:30That's how good we are.
26:31I'll give you a hug.
26:31I'll give you a hug.
26:32Disgusting.
26:33Disgusting.
26:34Disgusting.
26:34Disgusting.
26:35Good luck out there.
26:36You know, when you lose, just don't take it too hard, okay?
26:38I respect you, baby.
26:39Right, Chad.
26:40Let's go.
26:40Piggy.
26:43Hey!
26:45Check out that one, Mama.
26:46She's nice and hot.
26:47Just like you, Mama.
26:49Oh, guilty.
26:50Guilty.
26:51I know I'm a baby, but I'm allowed his bottle.
26:56Woo-wee!
26:57That is some real...
26:58Wow!
27:00Oh, my God.
27:01That's actually...
27:02You okay, baby?
27:03Oh!
27:05Avert myself, Mama.
27:07I feel a little bit sick.
27:09I will be honest with you.
27:11What do you think, judges?
27:12Woo!
27:13Look at that!
27:14I'm so proud.
27:15You did it.
27:16Take that back to France.
27:18Oh!
27:18Our motto is, uh, petit mignon.
27:21It's French for...
27:22We're going to France.
27:23Fuck you up.
27:24Oui-wee!
27:25Oui-wee!
27:25Oh!
27:27Oh!
27:33Oh!
27:36Oh!
27:38Bravo!
27:40Bravo!
27:41Magnifique, baby!
27:43Mag...
27:44Oh!
27:46Oh!
27:46Hey, Ma.
27:47Someone did a dookie in the pants!
27:49That is disqualification, I think.
27:52Yucky.
27:53Disgusting.
27:55Disgusting.
27:56Good luck out there.
27:56I respect your goodwill.
27:58Crammy.
27:59Steal the king.
28:00Steal the king.
28:01You got it.
28:02Wait, wait, wait.
28:03Baby, make un petit discovery.
28:05What?
28:06Un protest.
28:07What?
28:07Un protest.
28:08Don't come here for me with that ass.
28:10Monsoir is 25 years old.
28:13What?
28:14Un especially difficult, monsoir.
28:16I don't know what you're talking about.
28:17Cheeto.
28:17All right, fine.
28:18We got rumble, baby.
28:19Fine.
28:19He's 25, OK?
28:21Come on, baby.
28:22Champion.
28:23Applause.
28:24Applause.
28:38I think the drive show nailed it, too.
28:41That's what reality TV show looks like to me.
28:43I don't watch it very often, but that's how I feel watching it.
28:47I feel a bit ashamed.
28:49But I think it was great.
28:51There are lots of twists and turns.
28:52I feel like I want to know about how you came up with it.
28:55So do I.
28:56I'm still confused as what I was doing.
28:58I have no idea.
28:59I think we all were.
29:00Guilty.
29:02I did actual storyboarding.
29:04I did actual storyboarding.
29:04She did.
29:06I feel like we were good to have some fun.
29:08I guess I have to score the drive show versus the breakfast show.
29:11Most realistic reality show wins.
29:13Pretty hard to separate the two.
29:14I did enjoy both of them.
29:15But I'm going to give the drive show slightly behind.
29:18444-55 to the breakfast show.
29:25Well done, Chef.
29:26Well done, Chef.
29:27Tom Cashman just whispered in my ear that he needs to go and do a shit,
29:30so we're going to have an ad break.
29:31Back soon.
29:47Welcome back to Taskmaster where five comedians are in the process of reaping what they sowed.
29:53Lisa, Tom, I think we're due a new task.
29:55We sure are.
29:56And in the words of Michael Jackson to that baby, let's go to the balcony.
30:12Oh, what a beautiful morning.
30:16Hey, Tom.
30:16It's the afternoon.
30:19Oh, what a beautiful avow.
30:24Hi, Tom.
30:24Hi, Rav.
30:25Mmm, it's nice.
30:26Mmm.
30:27Is it a trap?
30:27No.
30:28If it was a trap, would you say that?
30:29No.
30:30Okay.
30:34Want to try that one again?
30:35No.
30:38Precariously dangle something off the balcony.
30:41Your dangle must last at least 30 seconds
30:45If your dangle thing falls, you were disqualified.
30:49Most precarious dangle wins.
30:51Your dangle begins when you firmly state,
30:54I'm now dangling.
30:56A bonus point will be awarded for the most valuable thing dangled.
31:01You have 10 minutes.
31:02Your time starts now.
31:04I don't really value anything.
31:05Oh, so it's got to be like something valuable
31:07and it's got to look like it's on something shit,
31:10but it's not shit.
31:12Yep.
31:12Boom.
31:13Okay.
31:20Just to be clear, getting the envelope out of the ribbon
31:23wasn't supposed to be the heartbeat.
31:25And also, Brett, thanks for explaining the task
31:27to all of our viewers who go to TAFE.
31:31The working class man's hero. Thank you.
31:34Okay, whose perilous dangling are we going to be looking at first?
31:37The first contestants we've wrangled to dangle are Anissa, Rove and Joel.
31:41Oh, I know it's valuable and I know it's precarious.
31:44What's the going price on a GoPro camera?
31:47$322.
31:48That's pretty good.
31:50May I use lollies?
31:52They're very valuable.
31:53I doubt it.
31:55What did you know?
31:56You can find out once I'm dangling.
31:57You'll find out why this is very precarious.
31:59Some people would be terrified if I were to lose these.
32:02This is what I reckon we're going to dangle with.
32:05There's nothing precarious about this.
32:07What's this one?
32:08What's that one?
32:09It's a 12 black.
32:12$650.
32:12Oh, come on!
32:14Are you kidding me?
32:15Here we go.
32:16Oh, that's very precarious.
32:19That's feeling precarious.
32:21Ah, it's not quite precarious enough.
32:23I've got an idea.
32:25Are you a knot guy?
32:29Um...
32:29Yes.
32:30It's dangling off the battery pack, which is dangling off the apron,
32:35which is dangling off a Viking helmet,
32:37which is dangling off this fake tree.
32:40Okay.
32:41Oh, this is super precarious!
32:44The precariety is increasing.
32:47See, that was a good test.
32:49That's why we have tests.
32:50I'm not changing anything.
32:51There's nothing precarious about this.
32:55There's actually nothing precarious about this.
32:58Good.
33:01Easy does it.
33:02Now I'm dangling.
33:04Is that the line?
33:06Prompt.
33:07Can't help you, unfortunately.
33:10Careful.
33:11Nope.
33:12I'm now dangling.
33:13I'm now dangling.
33:15I'm now dangling my antidepressants.
33:19Oh.
33:19It's very precarious of a loose eyes.
33:26I don't think anyone's going to find anything more precarious and dangerous to lose than that.
33:30See?
33:31They're working.
33:37Do you have any Botox or filler?
33:38No.
33:40Have you?
33:40Do you?
33:41What do you think?
33:46Oh, God.
33:49Oh, God.
33:52Thanks, Tom.
33:54Thanks, Anissa.
34:01So, Anissa, you were jumping a lot between this is precarious, this is not precarious at all, and often you're
34:07talking about the same object.
34:10I got more of the same item to increase the precarity of it.
34:17And that did not fall because the task was finished.
34:20You said it's over now.
34:22The task wording doesn't say that.
34:23So, your dangle must last at least 30 seconds.
34:26Yeah.
34:26If your dangled thing falls, you are disqualified.
34:29It doesn't say only within that 30 seconds.
34:31I'm displeased with this.
34:36So, Joel, what were you thinking?
34:38Because you were kind of skipping between that you were in a precarious position if you lost your antidepressants.
34:44You'd be in a precarious position if I lost my antidepressants.
34:49I'm on antidepressants.
34:50I'm very open about that.
34:52And can I just say, compliments to the chef.
34:57There's nothing more precarious and dangling and hanging on by a thread than my mental health.
35:02So, I have nailed that task.
35:05Well, I looked it up and because of Australia's fantastic pharmaceutical benefit scheme,
35:10antidepressants are very cheap, $30.
35:12Oh, so I shouldn't be depressed anymore, is that what you're saying?
35:15Just because I can afford it, I shouldn't be depressed anymore.
35:18All the shit that's happened in my life.
35:21It's a task of that value and if I had all the power in the world, I would make you
35:25not depressed anymore, yes.
35:28You're not doing a very good job of it right now!
35:32What I'm more concerned about is, it doesn't weigh much and it was just tied very firmly with a piece
35:37of string.
35:37That did not feel precarious.
35:39Have you seen these wrists?
35:41Ray Gunn thinks she got it from a kangaroo, she got it from the gay community.
35:47So, Rove, what I enjoyed was, you did come up with, I would say, it was something very precarious.
35:52Well, the precariarity scale was off the chart.
35:55Yeah, but what I really enjoyed was, it didn't work and you didn't change your thing and you still went
36:01with it.
36:02Well, that was part of the thrill of it, Tom.
36:04And it, but it was, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but.
36:10Ooh!
36:12Rove, Rove, Rove, Rove, Rove, Rove.
36:13No.
36:14No.
36:14Hey, Rove, no.
36:16I would say you are in a very precarious position right now.
36:20Rove, you probably don't remember, it's really hard to host a show.
36:31If anyone gets too worked up, I've got some stuff in my dressing room that I've thought you all out.
36:35Alright, let's see some more dangling Cashman.
36:38He's been dangling hair over the back of his neck for years, so this one should be a layup.
36:42It's Brett Blake.
36:48That looks expensive.
36:50What can I dangle it with?
36:51You're a knot guy?
36:52Yeah, but my knots are really good.
36:54Hey, Tom.
36:56Yeah?
36:56How good are you at knots?
36:58Not very good.
36:59That's expensive, and you tying a knot would be shit.
37:08There's no real good rigging point.
37:10Isn't there a wire on the back?
37:11It doesn't look really secure though, does it?
37:17That's really put a spanner in the work, hasn't it?
37:20That was good.
37:20That was sick, dude.
37:22Grab that end of that rope.
37:24Right, I want you to feed that rope through there.
37:27Great work.
37:28You're doing well.
37:29Now, the rabbit comes out of the hole.
37:31Where's the rabbit?
37:31That's the rabbit.
37:32Oh, this is the rabbit.
37:32That's the hole.
37:33So come out of the hole, and then pull this one.
37:35That looks like a rabbit now.
37:36Look at that.
37:36No, we've got two minutes.
37:38Can you just, buddy, do it?
37:40Yeah.
37:40Yeah.
37:41So I guess we just, you know.
37:46I am now dangling.
37:52Just kidding.
37:54I'm happy with that.
37:57Nah, I better respect Tom.
37:59He's done well, you know.
38:02To earn this job.
38:10Thanks, Brad.
38:20You know what?
38:20It was a great concept.
38:21Because you're good at tying knots, and you decided that Tom, he admitted he wasn't good at tying knots.
38:27But then you proceeded to show him how to tie a really good knot.
38:30Yeah.
38:31The rope was shit.
38:33You actually didn't do a correct version of that knot, and it still held.
38:37So precarious.
38:38If you need the number for a doctor baby boy, like, just let me know.
38:41I'll hook you up after.
38:42Oh, trust me.
38:43I'm very well medicated.
38:45The knot was really good.
38:46It worked really well.
38:47But it all doesn't really matter, because it fell on the ground.
38:50Well, yay!
38:51With me!
38:53No, so that's another DQ, unfortunately.
38:55Okay.
38:55Well, I guess I have to give out some scores.
38:58Oh.
38:59Oh.
39:01Excuse me?
39:03Was yours that bad?
39:05Let's just have a...
39:06No.
39:07Let's...
39:07Go on.
39:08Tom.
39:10Thank God you're here.
39:13Finally!
39:14Some respect.
39:15No, he's right.
39:16Hosting's really, really hard.
39:18Do you want me to help?
39:21Can you throw to the ad break, please?
39:22Because I'm sick of doing it.
39:23Not sure.
39:24Time to sell some ads.
39:25We'll be back with more Taskmaster Australia right after this.
39:41Welcome back to Taskmaster, where we're watching our comedians do a Romeo and Juliet and engage in risky behaviour on
39:48a balcony.
39:49That's correct.
39:50Our contestants are dangling something off a balcony.
39:53Most precarious dangle wins, and there's an extra point for most valuable thing dangled.
39:57Up last, she's the only contestant who didn't ask for a definition of the word precarious.
40:01It's Celia Pakola.
40:02Let's get dangling, Tom.
40:04Can I cook some spaghetti?
40:05How fast can I cook spaghetti?
40:07How does the spaghetti come into it?
40:08Because it's going to break.
40:10Cook spaghetti is very weak for dangling.
40:12You know what all of the internet is trying to get from everyone?
40:16It's my attention.
40:18I think my attention is probably the most valuable thing that I've got.
40:20Wow.
40:21Some people get very mad when you put the pasta in before the water is boiling.
40:24I know, I know, I know, but I don't have time for it to boil.
40:27How long have I got?
40:27I really think this will work.
40:28Five minutes and eight seconds.
40:29Just as a backup, I'm going to loosely dangle this gold pelican.
40:33Okay.
40:34Which I assume is real gold, so that's very valuable.
40:37It's not real gold.
40:37You don't know that.
40:42That's not cooked enough.
40:44How long have I got?
40:45Three minutes and 26 seconds.
40:47I feel like this isn't going to be heavy enough.
40:49Could I write my attention on something heavier?
40:51Tiny pot?
40:52What do we reckon?
40:53I mean, that's...
40:55That's...
40:56That's...
40:57That's the...
40:58That's the most pathetic thing I've ever seen in my whole life.
41:01Oh.
41:01Okay.
41:0220 seconds.
41:04Um, um...
41:0512 seconds.
41:06If...
41:06Seven.
41:07Okay.
41:08Six.
41:08Five.
41:09Four.
41:11Three.
41:12Two.
41:13I am now dangling!
41:17Oh!
41:24I forgot.
41:25I forgot.
41:25Why didn't you bother?
41:26I don't know.
41:26Because I was just...
41:27I was trying to make it more precarious.
41:29And I did.
41:31Yep.
41:31Like really too much.
41:32Ah.
41:33God.
41:34Anyone want my attention while we're at it?
41:36Go on?
41:37No?
41:37Okay.
41:43So, the spaghetti was very precarious.
41:45I like the look of that.
41:46Why'd you change?
41:47What you're looking at there is a series of excellent ideas.
41:52Perfectly executed.
41:54No-nos.
41:55Well, I think the wool was also a great idea.
41:57I know, and then...
41:58I can tell you that it was definitely the most precarious.
42:02But the problem was, it snapped.
42:04It didn't snap.
42:05I bit it in half with my teeth.
42:07That's what I did.
42:08I was like, this looks too stable.
42:09And I was trying to like...
42:10You know in like Indiana Jones movies where like a rope goes...
42:12Toink, toink, toink, toink.
42:14Celia just bit it like an animal.
42:15Yeah, like an animal.
42:18So, how many points do I get?
42:19Uh, none.
42:21So, really I'm just judging Joel and Rove.
42:24Yeah.
42:24Like, well that's very easy for me.
42:26Rove's was far more precarious.
42:27Okay.
42:27So, four points for Joel, five points for Rove.
42:29That's right.
42:32We also need a bonus point.
42:33So, what's more valuable?
42:35Joel's mental health or a GoPro?
42:40The most valuable object out for all five of them
42:43was easily the antidepressants.
42:44Okay, one point for Joel.
42:46Oh, we cancelling.
42:51Alright, but how does that affect our episode scores?
42:53Well, we've got Brett in fifth place on eight points,
42:56but Joel is in front with 14 points.
42:58Let's go!
43:00Alright everyone, nearly there.
43:02Head on up to the stage so we can all get out of here.
43:05Up you go.
43:10Alright Cashman, who's reading the task?
43:13Rove will read the task.
43:14Alright.
43:16Either grate an entire block of cheese,
43:20eat a quarter of it...
43:22Oh!
43:23Or hit Tom with half of it.
43:29If you throw it at Tom,
43:32you must throw underarm.
43:33Joel, you and me, golden.
43:35Yes.
43:36You may not move from behind your table
43:39and your table may not move.
43:42Fastest wins.
43:44I've got a question.
43:45Are you wearing a cup?
43:49And if so, is it for the task?
43:52I'm not wearing a cup.
43:53That's actually a very astute question.
43:55The reason I'm not wearing a cup is I will be facing that way.
43:57Please, begin.
44:12Don't hit the cameras!
44:14I should've eaten it.
44:23You got it mate!
44:24You got it!
44:30It's really good.
44:31It's sticky.
44:32It's got protein in it.
44:34Watch out!
44:36Watch out!
44:41Is this just not relevant anymore?
44:47You can blow your whistle.
44:53All right, well, I must say, due to cost of living,
44:56all that cheese that we had to purchase really blew our budget,
44:59so we need some ads to pay for it.
45:00See you soon.
45:13Hello and welcome back to Taskmaster, where we're about to find out
45:17who's going to be walking away with the most handsome prize pool in history
45:20if you just squint at it.
45:23Unfortunately, we're all out of tasks, so it's time to tot up the scores
45:26and see who's won.
45:27Who won the live task, Lester Tom?
45:29Well, as you saw, and I didn't, Brett hit me immediately.
45:32Celia hit me not long after that.
45:33Then there was a grating race between Rove and Anissa.
45:36Anissa finished first, but actually, I'd like to maybe show you something.
45:40You don't really have to.
45:42You don't need to show anything.
45:45Some regular grating there.
45:47And then...
46:01Why are you making a black woman work?
46:06So Anissa is disqualified for her cheating.
46:09That means Anissa gets zero.
46:11Joel gets two points.
46:12Rove gets three.
46:13Celia gets four.
46:13But Brett wins the task by picking it at me with five points.
46:17And you are now, yeah?
46:19Okay, so adding it all up, you little human calculator,
46:22who won the episode?
46:23Well, Anissa gets punished for her cheating ways.
46:25She's in last place with ten points.
46:27But the winner of tonight's episode is Celia with 17 points!
46:33Congratulations, Celia.
46:34Head to the stage and claim your things
46:36that sort of, kind of, maybe a little bit look like me.
46:39Off you go.
46:44Well, there we go.
46:45Please give one more warm cheer to our winner, Celia!
46:49Good night!
47:03Well, we got out of our show.
47:05Absolutely.
47:05You and me.
47:07Now the real fun begins.
47:09Oh, oh, oh!
47:12Oh!
47:12All the information you need is in the task, Tom, so...
47:19I hope you're enjoying this game because it's going to go on for some time even when you're
47:24the main character you look like an NPC
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