- hace 2 días
Cinemanía Club HD
Great mystery and suspense film.
I hope you like it.
Great mystery and suspense film.
I hope you like it.
Categoría
🎥
CortometrajesTranscripción
00:00:02Oh
00:00:36Oh
00:01:07Oh
00:01:37Oh
00:02:06Oh
00:02:30Oh
00:02:32Amateurs
00:03:00Oh
00:03:12Oh
00:03:13Oh
00:03:14Oh
00:03:16Oh
00:03:17Oh
00:06:10Now let's get back to our movies, The Vampire DJs from Hell.
00:06:48Excuse me, is this the service for Ephraim Ward?
00:06:50Indeed, sir.
00:06:51Are you related to the deceased?
00:06:53Well, as far as I know, I'm his only living relative.
00:06:55My name is Dexter Ward.
00:06:57Oh, of course, Mr. Ward.
00:06:58I spoke to you on the phone when you made the arrangement.
00:07:00Right.
00:07:00All right.
00:07:01We've opened the casket so that the bereaved might pay their last respects.
00:07:27Goodbye, Uncle Ephraim.
00:07:36The book, the book of Ulthar, you must find it.
00:07:42It alone has the power to summon forth the evil one.
00:07:48What am I doing here?
00:07:51You're dead, Uncle Ephraim.
00:07:52Like hell I am.
00:07:54Get me out of this goddamn thing.
00:07:57What stupid son of a bitch pronounced me dead?
00:08:01I believe it was Dr. Malloy.
00:08:03That quack.
00:08:03And this cheap jack place didn't even bother to embalm me.
00:08:07Help me.
00:08:08Help me.
00:08:09Help me.
00:08:09Dear me.
00:08:11This was rather unexpected.
00:08:14You can all go home.
00:08:16I'm not dead.
00:08:17Dexter, my boy, give me your arm.
00:08:20Get out of here, you miserable toadies.
00:08:24Phony bastards never saw one of them before in my life.
00:08:31You're looking much better since the funeral, Uncle Ephraim.
00:08:33You know, I think death agrees with you.
00:08:34Dexter, you're the only person who seems genuinely happy I'm still alive.
00:08:39Well, remember what they said about that condition of yours.
00:08:41You sure it's such a good idea returning to work this soon?
00:08:44Oh, my boy, this library is my life.
00:08:46For 40 years, I've been responsible for the world's largest collection of books on witchcraft and the black arts.
00:08:53That's what I call job security.
00:08:55Dexter, have you ever heard of the book of Ulthar?
00:08:58Nope.
00:08:59Ulthar was a sorcerer at a time before history when all the world was in darkness and chaos prevailed.
00:09:06Oh, yeah, I remember the Reagan administration.
00:09:08No, no, it was the reign of the evil one, an elder god that once walked the earth.
00:09:15Ulthar cast a spell which banished this unearthly creature to the eternal void beyond time and space.
00:09:22Yeah, I spent a weekend there once.
00:09:24You may scoff, but many authorities believe that the evil one has been waiting, these countless eons, for the counter
00:09:33spell that would free it from its astral exile.
00:09:35Yeah, I know.
00:09:36And once again, we'll all be down the crapper.
00:09:38Correct.
00:09:39Ulthar placed all his mystic incantations in one volume, which has been carefully guarded throughout the ages.
00:09:46Then, twenty years ago, I made a tragic error.
00:09:54I lent the book out.
00:09:56Isn't that what libraries are supposed to do?
00:09:58Not with such a priceless volume.
00:10:00The culprit's name was Marinus Orlok.
00:10:04His academic credentials were impeccable.
00:10:07And a few days later, he simply vanished with my book.
00:10:12For two decades, I vainly attempted to find some trace of him.
00:10:16Then, finally, just recently, I unearthed a clue.
00:10:20A daughter living in Los Angeles.
00:10:23I was about to contact her when I had my attack.
00:10:26I had a feeling this was all leading someplace.
00:10:29You've been like a son to me, Dexter.
00:10:31I know it's a great favor to ask, but...
00:10:34Hey, hey, don't, don't, don't.
00:10:35You know, I owe you more than I could ever repay.
00:10:37You give me that address, I'll find that book.
00:10:39Orlok's daughter is named Marissa.
00:10:42Marissa.
00:10:43You can contact her here.
00:10:45All right, everybody, why is the picture?
00:11:04I don't like scat-alactic.
00:11:06I don't play chess.
00:11:08I'm just not used to second best.
00:11:10I don't watch real fortune or meet the press.
00:11:15I'm not the kind who gets depressed.
00:11:19Just give me action.
00:11:23Your love is the attraction.
00:11:27It's pure satisfaction.
00:11:43I don't like blasting out of here.
00:11:45Screwed uncontrolled.
00:11:47I want some fun before I get old.
00:11:50I don't like causing accidents.
00:11:53I'm on a roll.
00:11:55Who cares if I'm on parole?
00:11:58Just give me action.
00:12:02Your love keeps me in traction.
00:12:05It's pure satisfaction.
00:12:18Let's start a revolution.
00:12:20Calling John Wayne.
00:12:22Your love is driving me insane.
00:12:26Let's storm a foreign missile-based.
00:12:28Start World War III.
00:12:30Knock off the Ayatollah for me.
00:12:34Just give me action.
00:12:37Your love is the attraction.
00:12:41It's pure satisfaction.
00:12:46It's true.
00:12:52Come on and give me a little action, will you?
00:13:06Cut!
00:13:07What?
00:13:08That was beautiful, Marissa.
00:13:11Is everything all right?
00:13:13Babe, they only make one word to describe your performance.
00:13:15Simply sensational.
00:13:16That's two words.
00:13:17Right.
00:13:18Right now, I predict that song's going to win a granny.
00:13:20That's granny.
00:13:21No, dearie.
00:13:22He meant granny.
00:13:24Here you go, Chief.
00:13:26Okay, everybody.
00:13:26It's a wrap.
00:13:32Pardon me.
00:13:33Pardon me.
00:13:33You're Marissa Orlach, right?
00:13:35How did you know my last name?
00:13:36Not even my press agent knows that.
00:13:38I'm Dexter Ward.
00:13:39I've been tracking you down all over L.A.
00:13:41Hey, look.
00:13:41I love my fans, but don't let it get out of control, okay?
00:13:44No, you don't understand.
00:13:46See, I want to talk to you about your father, Marinus.
00:13:48What about my father?
00:13:49Well, you see, my Uncle Ephraim, he's got...
00:13:52Wait.
00:13:52We can talk in here.
00:13:53It's private.
00:13:59Hey.
00:14:00Hey.
00:14:01This is the son for the last ride.
00:14:04It's where they used to film all those old sitcoms.
00:14:07Now, what information do you have about my father?
00:14:10Oh, well, not much, I'm afraid.
00:14:12Apparently, sometime in the late 60s, your father borrowed a one-of-a-kind volume from
00:14:16the Arkham Public Library, the Book of Althar.
00:14:19Now, supposedly, when translated, this book could open up a doorway to another dimension.
00:14:25What was that?
00:14:26It's one of those old laugh track machines.
00:14:29They used to use it on all these shows.
00:14:31Who's operating it?
00:14:33No one.
00:14:33I think they just forgot to turn it off.
00:14:35But don't worry, it's programmed to laugh at anything.
00:14:38See what I mean?
00:14:40Oh, where was I?
00:14:42Oh, yeah.
00:14:43Anyway, my Uncle Ephraim is the head librarian at Arkham, and he's a little eager to have
00:14:47this particular book returned, so I was kind of hoping you could give me a current address
00:14:52on your father's.
00:14:52Oh, I was hoping you could give me one.
00:14:55See, my father left when I was quite young.
00:14:57He arranged a Swiss bank account for our support, but neither my mother or I have heard from him
00:15:02in, like, nearly 20 years.
00:15:04And I'd give anything to see him again.
00:15:07Hey, that's not funny.
00:15:10Look, I'm sorry we had to meet under these circumstances.
00:15:14I, uh, I won't bother you anymore.
00:15:18Hello!
00:15:19Holy Captain Video!
00:15:21You must be characters from the future.
00:15:23Let's see, this is where the plot thickens.
00:15:27Telegram, uh, telegram for Marissa Orlach.
00:15:29Oh, I'm Marissa Orlach.
00:15:30Yeah, well, this must be...
00:15:38Will you come on?
00:15:41What a crouch.
00:15:44Oh, it's from Victor Van Helsing.
00:15:47I don't know anybody by that name.
00:15:50Come immediately to Castle Orlach in Transylvania.
00:15:57No.
00:16:05My father just died.
00:16:08I know how painful this must be for you.
00:16:11I'm going to call the travel agency.
00:16:14Reserve tickets for two.
00:16:16Two?
00:16:17For Transylvania.
00:16:26Ladies and gentlemen, we are now beginning our descent into Transylvania.
00:16:31Please fasten your seatbelts and extinguish our port.
00:16:37Thank you for flying Transylvania Airlines.
00:16:43The white zone is for immediate loading and unloading of coffins.
00:16:47There is no dying in the red zone.
00:16:49And, at the signpost up ahead, the twilight zone.
00:16:54Oh, it's beautiful here.
00:16:57Now what do we do?
00:16:59According to the telegram, we'll go straight to Hansburg.
00:17:01It's a small village just west of here.
00:17:04Got any neat ideas on how to get there?
00:17:06Nope.
00:17:07Okay.
00:17:12I could live here.
00:17:17Taxi!
00:17:19Oh, I'm not sure.
00:17:20We're trying to get to Hansburg.
00:17:22Look, lady, you either want a taxi or you don't want a taxi.
00:17:25There's no skin off my ass either way.
00:17:27What are you making?
00:17:28You got it, baby.
00:17:29Maxi Field.
00:17:30Big Apple Cab Company.
00:17:32Oh.
00:17:32What are you doing here?
00:17:33Can I help it if they give me a bad area?
00:17:36So, hey, I'm not taking a bad deal for my health.
00:17:38You want a ride or not?
00:17:39You got it.
00:17:40Can you take us to Hansburg?
00:17:42I don't usually like to go into that area after dark, but, uh...
00:17:46Hey, affair's affair, right?
00:17:47You know what I mean?
00:17:48Hop in.
00:17:56Those redcaps, they don't look too well.
00:18:00Yeah, they're zombies.
00:18:02Forget about them.
00:18:03You get used to it.
00:18:04What?
00:18:05The walking's dead?
00:18:06Hey, New York, you got your junkies.
00:18:08Here, you got your zombies.
00:18:10What's the difference?
00:18:11They all look like Keith Richards anyway.
00:18:12They, they don't look particularly efficient.
00:18:17Yeah, they're dead.
00:18:19They're all messed up.
00:18:32Nice scenery around here.
00:18:33Hey, folks, you got your mishrouded moors, your bleak forest, desolate graveyards.
00:18:39Great place for picnics.
00:18:41You know, you didn't have to come.
00:18:42If I found the Book of Author, I could have just sent it to you.
00:18:45You know.
00:18:46You don't mind me being here, do you?
00:18:48No.
00:18:48It's nice to have company.
00:18:50Especially in a place like this.
00:18:53Ah, who knows.
00:18:54Maybe they'll, they'll put up a Disneyland here someday.
00:18:56Yeah, I could see it all now.
00:18:58Vampires of the Caribbean, right over there someplace.
00:19:02Hey, did you say that you were a librarian?
00:19:04No, no, no.
00:19:04My uncle's a librarian.
00:19:06I'm just helping him out during summer vacation.
00:19:08I'm studying pre-med at Arkham University.
00:19:10I was going to be a lawyer, but I couldn't stand a sight of blood.
00:19:13I never finished high school.
00:19:15Oh, really?
00:19:16Uh, despite graduating from high school, Marissa's recording career prevented her from pursuing
00:19:21a higher education.
00:19:23I'm doing a little research.
00:19:26Well, at least that much is true.
00:19:28Well, wait a minute.
00:19:30Describe your perfect mate.
00:19:31Yeah, here we go.
00:19:32Tall, handsome, great sense of humor.
00:19:34Ooh, you sound like anybody you know?
00:19:36Eh, one out of three is that.
00:19:41Sorry about the bumps.
00:19:43We got better roads in the Bronx.
00:19:45And I still don't understand what a New York cabbie is doing in a place like this.
00:19:49You're talking to me.
00:19:50Nobody else here.
00:19:51Must be talking to me.
00:19:53I wanted to get out of the city.
00:19:54Big mistake.
00:19:55You can't even find a decent piece of pizza in this whole damn country.
00:20:01I'll bite.
00:20:02No, thanks.
00:20:21You know, we don't seem to be getting the media coverage off what we would.
00:20:25You missed the point, Mr. Mole.
00:20:26Well, we'd be stopping any unauthorized grave robbers from sneaking in and nipping the old gentleman inside.
00:20:33Aye.
00:20:34And selling them to those medical chaps for a measly ten bob.
00:20:37Ten bob doesn't sound so bad here and now we could buy another bottle.
00:20:41Help us keep warm.
00:20:42Oh, that we could, Mr. Sweeney, that we...
00:20:45But he suggested we cross our own picket line.
00:20:48Aye, that I be, Mr. Mole.
00:20:50Did you bring your tools with you?
00:20:52Would a good union man be without his tools or trade?
00:21:01Always a pleasure to see a professional at work, Mr. Sweeney.
00:21:06Why, thank you, Mr. Mole.
00:21:09Got these bloody alarms on everything these days.
00:21:14Off to you, Mr. Mole.
00:21:16Off to you, Mr. Sweeney.
00:21:20Would you think you bet we'd be saving them from being smashed by someone what ain't in our unit?
00:21:32I'm sure he'd be appreciating that fact, Mr. Mole.
00:21:38No!
00:21:39Turn around!
00:21:41Oh, no!
00:21:42Oh, no!
00:21:46No, no, please!
00:21:50No!
00:22:04Oh, my God!
00:22:09Ah, I don't mind doing that.
00:22:13Ah.
00:22:17Oh.
00:22:19Whew.
00:22:21Oh.
00:22:24Oh.
00:22:26Oh.
00:22:27Oh.
00:22:27Oh, hey.
00:22:27Oh, hey.
00:22:39thank god thank god thank god thank god i got him before dinner
00:23:18oh this place looks worse than an italian dollar pardon me pardon me here's a lovely place you got
00:23:26again but um how can you fall all this garland excuse me excuse me
00:23:39um can somebody tell us how to get to castle orlog
00:23:48i don't think they've heard
00:23:59perhaps i can help you i am the chief constant hello there my name is dexter ward hans hop
00:24:07no no that's my name oh i see hop hans hop correct now hands down yes what is it i'm
00:24:14not talking to
00:24:15you hans i'm talking to hands that's hans down our local undertaker gospel with all these similar names
00:24:21you must have your hands full yes i knew it well perhaps you can help us constable hub
00:24:29perhaps that would be your business at castle orlog well you see my name is marissa orlog
00:24:36and my late father lived there oh somehow i don't think dad was the president of the local kiwanis club
00:24:43oh stop you don't mean to say you're marina's orlog's daughter yes yes you don't mean to say it
00:24:51no i do mean to say it let me rephrase this are you not marina's orlog's daughter yes yes you
00:24:57are not
00:24:58no yes i am put it in the way it's like this simple this is morissa orlog i'm dexter ward
00:25:04we're
00:25:04looking for castle orlog and we're all here to play super password young lady i seriously suggest
00:25:12that you stay away from the castle it has been boarded up since your father's death there's no one up
00:25:18there now at least no one alive
00:25:28who's playing that one well that's nonsense i received a telegram stating that my uncle byron had
00:25:36already arrived there he's back byron orlog is back now no one will be safe not our wives our children
00:25:44our mistresses and he's coming in on the new train hey wait a minute i'm in the wrong movie
00:25:52you're not telling me that byron orlog is back oh no wait a minute don't start that again
00:25:58what's wrong with everybody oh nothing is wrong young man you must make allowances these are but
00:26:06superstitious peasants afraid of their own shadows
00:26:13you see what i mean there is much to fear in the shadows and even more to fear from vampires
00:26:33there were legends many years ago but fairy tales to frighten children tell me constable where do legends
00:26:42end and facts begin what is the shadowy boundary between science and superstition and how can you
00:26:48tell the groom at a polish wedding i'm afraid you have made a loss aha i thought as much
00:26:55you are marissa orlog yes i'm dr victor van helsing it was i who sent you that telegram my card
00:27:01for a good time call victor van helsing vampire hunter i don't understand i've been awaiting your
00:27:08arrival you may share my coach oh wait wait wait wait wait
00:27:14made my son i once had a boy just like you here take this it will protect you from evil
00:27:23thanks wait a minute buddy that'll be a buck 75. oh man
00:27:35you know my father
00:27:38marinus and i were colleagues many years ago then something happened and i never saw him again
00:27:43a few days ago i learned that he had died and i'd been named executor of the estate and that's
00:27:47when
00:27:47he contacted me correct you and your uncle are the only two known living heirs i believe lord
00:27:52byron and his family are already at the castle come
00:27:59dexter what took you so long the old lady in the gift shop if you must know
00:28:03here this might come in handy does this name was unsteady
00:28:07here this might be a good time
00:28:27i know
00:28:30i know
00:28:30i know
00:28:30you know
00:28:31i know
00:28:33i know
00:28:35i know
00:28:36the other one
00:28:37i know
00:28:39I don't care what anyone says.
00:28:41This hurts.
00:28:58Are you really a vampire hunter?
00:29:00Is that card some kind of joke?
00:29:02Young lady, I never joke about vampires.
00:29:07No way, are we talking about furry flying bats?
00:29:10We are speaking of the undead.
00:29:12Undead? What do you mean, not alive?
00:29:14They are neither dead nor alive.
00:29:16Sounds like my agent.
00:29:17I am referring to the evil spirits who inhabit the bodies of the deceased.
00:29:21They rise from their coffins to feed upon the blood of the living.
00:29:24That's my agent, all right.
00:29:26I've made the eradication of these creatures my life's work.
00:29:28So, there's a lot of money in this stuff?
00:29:30I was always encouraged to uphold the family tradition, even as a child.
00:29:34So, what's happening?
00:29:35I don't know.
00:29:36Either the projectionist is falling asleep or Van Helsing's having a flashback.
00:29:45Merry Christmas, young Victor.
00:29:55Thanks, Dad.
00:29:56This is just what I wanted.
00:29:58Of course, vampire hunting has its moments of tension, even for a small boy.
00:30:04Victor.
00:30:04Victor Van Helsing.
00:30:07Yes, Mrs. Caldwell?
00:30:09Are you responsible for that?
00:30:16Yes, Mrs. Caldwell?
00:30:18Bring it here.
00:30:26Now, I want you to write on the blackboard.
00:30:29I will not stake vampires in glass.
00:30:31And I want you to do it 50 times.
00:30:35Another flashback?
00:30:37Don't worry.
00:30:37I think it's the last one.
00:30:38Oh, good.
00:30:40Gosh, Betty Lou.
00:30:40I really like you.
00:30:42And I really like you, Victor.
00:30:44You're not like the other girls.
00:30:47I was wondering when you'd get around to noticing that.
00:30:49Somehow, you're more mature than the others.
00:30:52Well, I am 19.
00:30:5419?
00:30:55But that's not old.
00:30:571,900.
00:30:59That's old.
00:31:02Perhaps we ought to start back home.
00:31:04It is getting rather late.
00:31:06Later than you think, Victor.
00:31:08Please.
00:31:09No hickeys.
00:31:10Don't worry, Victor.
00:31:11I'll still respect you in the morning.
00:31:13I think we both need a drink first.
00:31:17Perhaps you're right.
00:31:18It may help to warm our blood.
00:31:21Ladies first.
00:31:37Holy water.
00:31:39Don't leave home without it.
00:31:42From that time onward, I've dedicated my life to scourging the earth of this evil.
00:31:47Wow, they really do exist.
00:31:49I assure you, they exist.
00:31:50In fact, there's been a recent epidemic of vampirism in this vicinity.
00:31:54I destroyed one such creature before you arrived this evening.
00:31:57Maybe you could mail me that book.
00:32:00Now, you two have nothing to fear while under my protection.
00:32:02I may be kindly Dr. Van Helsing to you.
00:32:05But to the undead, I am the son of Sam.
00:32:10Frightened?
00:32:11Me?
00:32:12You don't really expect me to swallow that, do you?
00:32:14I swallowed it.
00:32:15Hey, come on, Miss Maris.
00:32:17We're riding here in the beautiful, colorful countryside, being pulled by a horse-drawn carriage.
00:32:22Moonlight.
00:32:23What could be more romantic?
00:32:24High noon on the Mojave Desert.
00:32:27Listen, the hills are alive with the sound of music.
00:32:33He's gonna sing, folks.
00:32:34Time to hit that snack bar.
00:32:36Tex, you're not gonna sing.
00:32:38Uh-huh.
00:32:38But why throw a light-hearted song in at a time like this?
00:32:41Listen, let me tell you all about it.
00:32:43Take one grand little melody, write some cutesy lyrics, and just paste them together now.
00:32:51Oh, wow.
00:32:52Think of the royalties I'm making.
00:32:57Woo!
00:32:58And in a bit, yeah, I'll have a hit this up.
00:33:06And you can bet I'll sell cassettes and CDs.
00:33:11Hey, there, I'll write some DJs, and this little song of mine will climb up the charts now.
00:33:20Oh, wow.
00:33:21Think of the royalties I'm making.
00:33:27Who cares if it's good or not?
00:33:30It doesn't matter, really.
00:33:34Kids will buy anything, then charge it today.
00:33:48So, hey, there, I got a song here.
00:33:52Got some cutesy lyrics, and I'll put them together now.
00:33:56Oh, wow.
00:33:57Think of the royalties I'm gonna make.
00:34:04Do you get very many girls that way?
00:34:07No, but it kills three minutes.
00:34:09Castle Warlock, just ahead.
00:34:40i'm gonna put it in.
00:34:41I'm gonna put it in.
00:34:47All right, girls, it's party time.
00:35:11Whoop, whoop, whoop. Castle, lock everybody out.
00:35:18Hey. Oh, man.
00:35:22Well, you're getting no tip from me.
00:35:25What's he feeding those horses?
00:35:27What frightened himself?
00:35:29It's as if a blind had settled over this land.
00:35:31Notice the singular lack of vegetation, the scarcity of animal life,
00:35:35and the absence of major league sporting events.
00:35:38It's not much of a castle, really.
00:35:40I'm sure it's the best they could afford on a budget.
00:36:00Maybe it's bingo night.
00:36:01Perhaps they can't hear us.
00:36:03Don't be ridiculous. We're making enough noise to raise...
00:36:07the dead.
00:36:10You must leave this place at once.
00:36:11Look, I assure you, we are not Jehovah's Witnesses.
00:36:14Lord Byron left strict instructions that he was to receive no visitors.
00:36:18Nonsense. I'm Dr. Victor Van Helsing, and I am expected.
00:36:21And I'm Marissa Orlach, and I'm also expected.
00:36:24And you?
00:36:25Oh, I'm Dexter Ward. I'm along for the comedy relief.
00:36:28That's a matter of opinion.
00:36:29And what is your name, my good man?
00:36:31Stefan, sir.
00:36:32Well, Stefan, sir, I insist you show us inside.
00:36:35Well, that's what it looks like.
00:36:37I meant escort us in.
00:36:40Very well.
00:36:41Let it be on your heads.
00:36:44Let what be on our heads?
00:36:46End.
00:36:54Oh, goodness.
00:37:00Would you look at this place?
00:37:02You suppose our interior decorator is among the living?
00:37:05Ivan announced you to Lord Byron.
00:37:13I never met my uncle, as a matter of fact, I didn't even know I had one until I received
00:37:19your telegram.
00:37:20Well, I never met him either, but I understand he was the black sheep of the family.
00:37:24He was supposedly expelled from kindergarten for extreme brutality.
00:37:27Yeah, I think I went to school with him.
00:37:29According to Marinus, he banished Byron from the castle some time ago.
00:37:32Well, apparently they had a violent disagreement over one particular book.
00:37:36A book?
00:37:37You don't have to recall the title, do you?
00:37:39Well, my memory's not quite what it used to be, but it was either the book of Ulthar
00:37:44or the latest Jackie Collins novel.
00:37:46Does anybody know what happened to it?
00:37:47I would imagine both volumes are somewhere still here in the castle.
00:37:51Did you hear that, Marissa?
00:37:53Marissa?
00:38:03Marissa, it's you.
00:38:04That's not me.
00:38:05I'm standing here.
00:38:06That's a painting of me.
00:38:08Must be an ancestor of mine.
00:38:11Wonder who she is.
00:38:12I don't know, but I doubt she had trouble finding a date on a Saturday night.
00:38:33Dexter, don't you know better than to put your hand on someone's shoulder in a spooky
00:38:36place like this?
00:38:37God, I'm sorry.
00:38:38I just wanted to show you something.
00:38:39Well, there are any number of ways of attracting one's attention.
00:38:42Damn, I hate cheap sharks like that.
00:38:44Come on, you gotta check this out.
00:38:45Marissa just discovered something that I...
00:38:48Oh, God, I dream of combinations like that.
00:38:58Marissa, come forward, dear cousin.
00:39:01We want to give you a kiss.
00:39:04Yes, dear cousin, come closer.
00:39:08I want to give you a big, wet, gooey one.
00:39:21Marissa, look out!
00:39:26Oh, my Lord, I could have been killed.
00:39:29That chandelier's probably been hanging there over a hundred years.
00:39:31The moment one of us steps underneath, it falls.
00:39:35All I remember is staring at the portrait and then...
00:39:43Well, look at me, they're your relatives.
00:39:46I see the chandelier has fallen again.
00:39:50It always does that when we have guests.
00:39:58Lord Orlark?
00:39:59I am Byron Orlark.
00:40:02And you are welcome in my home.
00:40:04Yes, we've met your welcoming committee.
00:40:08Legally, the point of ownership has yet to be established.
00:40:11I am Dr. Victor Van Helsing, executive of your brother's estate.
00:40:14Then you have Melanus's master will contestant.
00:40:18Along with specific instructions concerning his funeral arrangements.
00:40:22An honor, sir.
00:40:24And you are Marissa?
00:40:25Yes.
00:40:26The family resemblance is truly astonishing.
00:40:30My condolences to you at this time, my dear.
00:40:35But I don't seem to recognize this young man.
00:40:38This is Dexter Ward, Uncle Byron.
00:40:40He's a friend.
00:40:40Of anyone in particular?
00:40:43Or just generally well-liked?
00:40:48Lord Orlark, we were just remarking on the amazing similarity between Marissa and the lady in that portrait.
00:40:55Ah, the first Marissa Orlark.
00:40:59You are her namesake, my dear.
00:41:01I was hoping to find out more about my father, Uncle Byron.
00:41:04Well, there's not very much to tell.
00:41:06There was always a great deal of animosity between us.
00:41:10Even as a child, Melanus disapproved of my torturing small animals.
00:41:18Come now.
00:41:19You've had a long and tiring journey, no doubt.
00:41:24Permit me to show you to your room.
00:41:28Did you and my father ever straighten out your differences?
00:41:32Even toward the end, we didn't get along particularly well.
00:41:36His last letter to me began,
00:41:39Dear Shithead.
00:41:41Sorry to hear that.
00:41:42You were born into a most remarkable family, my dear.
00:41:47These are but a few of our illustrious ancestors.
00:41:49This is Roderick Orlark, thief, drug addict, professional assassin, and part-time used car sales.
00:42:06And this is Linole Orlark, blackmailer, horrid, murderous, and two-time president of the local PTA.
00:42:17She died in the madhouse.
00:42:21Is that hereditary?
00:42:26And surely this must be the best of the lot.
00:42:30Hans Orlark.
00:42:32Sodomist, incest, pedophile, and member of the Nixon administration.
00:42:44My wax, nostalgia.
00:42:48Stefan!
00:42:50Yes, my lord?
00:42:52Where'd he come from?
00:42:54Stefan automatically materializes whenever he's needed.
00:42:57I've never figured out quite how.
00:43:00Trade secret, my lord.
00:43:03Stefan, gather their luggage and take it to their rooms.
00:43:07Yes, my lord.
00:43:11He dematerializes the same way.
00:43:14Totally perplexing.
00:43:18Come with me.
00:43:20You'll have a few hours to freshen up before the services.
00:43:24Services?
00:43:25For your father,
00:43:27Marilus Orlark's funeral will be held downstairs precisely at midnight.
00:43:39And it is a commonly held misconception that the undead can transform themselves into bats.
00:43:43Pure nonsense.
00:43:44True, they can change into frogs, flounders, aardbarks, pelicans, baboons, and warthogs,
00:43:48but never bats.
00:43:50I say.
00:43:54Say you'll help me.
00:43:56I must leave this place.
00:43:57You're my only hope.
00:43:58Young woman, what seems to be the matter?
00:44:00It's Lord Orlark.
00:44:01He keeps me locked in this castle.
00:44:02He's taken everything away.
00:44:04My freedom.
00:44:05My vibrator.
00:44:07My traveler's checks.
00:44:08And I'll bet they weren't American Express.
00:44:11Oh, you must help me.
00:44:12You're my only hope.
00:44:14You must.
00:44:15There, there.
00:44:31Now, if I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times.
00:44:36No between-meal snacks.
00:44:39Now, go to your room.
00:44:40You're grounded.
00:44:47My apologies, Doctor.
00:44:49My daughter sometimes becomes overly agitated.
00:44:52You see, we do not get too many visitors to the castle.
00:44:57Difficult to imagine why.
00:44:59Lord Orlark.
00:45:01You have something on your mouth.
00:45:06Ah.
00:45:07Too much ketchup on my french fries.
00:45:33How did I know?
00:45:52What is the meaning of this intrusion?
00:45:54I'm sorry.
00:45:55I'm looking for Marissa Orlark.
00:45:57Does that give you the right to burst into my room unannounced?
00:46:00No, no.
00:46:01I apologize for it.
00:46:04Hey, wait a minute.
00:46:06You're, you're Boris Karloff, aren't you?
00:46:09Yes.
00:46:09Sure, I just, I just saw you in that movie with, uh, with Jack Nicholson.
00:46:13The, um, the terror.
00:46:15Forgive me for reviving painful memories.
00:46:18I don't believe it.
00:46:20Nobody's seen or heard of you since 1969.
00:46:25For 20 years, I've lived here alone.
00:46:28You're kidding me!
00:46:30Jeez, that, that, that drives me crazy.
00:46:33You think I'm mad, don't you?
00:46:36No.
00:46:37No.
00:46:37Hey, I, I, I've only been here, uh, an hour in this spook house, and, and I'm already starting
00:46:42to go to Looney Tunes.
00:46:43Ah.
00:46:45Perhaps we're both mad.
00:46:48May, may, may be.
00:46:49Ah.
00:46:49Uh, I, I gotta go, Boris.
00:46:52Uh, try and get out for him.
00:47:05So that's how they made all those movies.
00:47:33Oh, my God.
00:47:43Oh, my God.
00:48:08Hello?
00:48:10They're here.
00:48:17Oh, God.
00:48:19Well, no one ever said I was handsome, ma'am.
00:48:22What are you doing here?
00:48:23Merely standing here ominously, ma'am.
00:48:26Does that displease you?
00:48:28I didn't hear you come in.
00:48:29Don't you believe in announcing yourself?
00:48:31Oh, very well.
00:48:33You're stabbing.
00:48:35Well, what do you want, then?
00:48:37Oh, yes.
00:48:38Lord Byron sent me with some good news and some bad news.
00:48:42Oh, what's the bad news?
00:48:44Master Marinus is still dead.
00:48:47Well, what's the good news?
00:48:49There is no good news, ma'am.
00:49:18Oh, come, Marisha.
00:49:23I would like you to meet my family.
00:49:26These are my adopted daughters, Patti, Maxine, and Laverne.
00:49:36We've met.
00:49:38Now, for a final tribute to Marinus, Stefan will play his favorite musical recording.
00:49:46Hit it.
00:49:47Whee!
00:49:56Whee!
00:49:59Whee!
00:50:07Let's go.
00:50:33It's an old family custom.
00:50:36Now, if the doctor and your young friend will assist Stefan and I, we'll take the coffin below.
00:50:43Below?
00:50:44Yes, all the orlocks are interred in the family crypt beneath the castle.
00:50:51Where else?
00:50:57I don't like this.
00:51:11What's that?
00:51:12A rubber bat.
00:51:13We keep them down here for atmosphere.
00:51:17Put it up, Eagle.
00:51:20Hey, what's that noise?
00:51:23Rubber rats, no doubt.
00:51:25No, it's coming from inside the coffin.
00:51:28Muscular contractions.
00:51:30Not uncommon after death.
00:51:33Muscular contractions.
00:51:34This guy's doing the chain found a workout in here.
00:51:36Allow me to assure you, Marinus Orlach is dead.
00:51:42Oh, you've assured me, and I want to try convincing him.
00:51:45As I was saying, Marinus has taken his place with the rest of our family.
00:51:50And now I await my turn to share their endless nights of eternal darkness.
00:51:59Gee, it's a little like looking forward to Christmas, isn't it?
00:52:05Now, in accordance with your father's last wish, we shall view the will.
00:52:09View?
00:52:09Apparently, Marinus videotaped his last will and testament.
00:52:13I suppose you might call it the late show.
00:52:26You know, call me frivolous, but you ever wonder what a nice Peruvian tile would look like in here?
00:52:33Maybe not.
00:52:43Hello, I, Marinus Orlach, being of sound mind and in full possession of my mental faculties,
00:52:52herewith declare my last will and testament.
00:52:56But let this not be a somber occasion.
00:53:00Come on, kiddies.
00:53:01Let's have some fun.
00:53:03Whoa!
00:53:05Hey, two heirs will compete for a fortune in dance and prizes on the Newly Dead Games.
00:53:13And now, here's your host for the Newly Dead Games, the late but irrepressible, Marinus Orlach.
00:53:20Hey, Marinus, come on down!
00:53:28Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!
00:53:31Thank you!
00:53:33Thank you, friends and heirs.
00:53:36But first, let us meet our two contestants.
00:53:40That's right, Marinus.
00:53:41She's a singer, musician, and composer living in Los Angeles, California.
00:53:45Let's hear it for Marissa Orlach!
00:53:49Contestant number two currently resides in Transylvania.
00:53:53His hobbies include stamp collecting, leather craft, and necrophilia.
00:53:57Ladies and gentlemen, Byron Orlach!
00:54:03Now, I know that Marissa and Byron are both in our viewing audience tonight.
00:54:08So let's take a look at their wonderful prizes.
00:54:40It's a castle!
00:54:42Ladies and gentlemen, who will receive this fabulous estate?
00:54:46Is it to be contestant number one, Marissa?
00:54:52Or will it be contestant number two?
00:54:58And the winner is Marissa Orlach!
00:55:03But no one walks away a loser.
00:55:06Johnny, tell Byron about his consolation prize.
00:55:11It's a matching set of Transylvanian tourister luggage.
00:55:15Yes, Byron, you'll probably have to leave the castle now.
00:55:17So here are the bags to send you on your way.
00:55:20And everyone will receive a copy of our home game for playing with family and friends.
00:55:27That's the newly dead game from Parker Bradley, Inc.
00:55:31And now on to our bonus round.
00:55:35Hidden somewhere in the castle, some lucky viewer may find the Book of Ulta.
00:55:42Is that a book?
00:55:44Now let's take a look at our bonus prize clue.
00:55:49If anyone in our viewing audience can solve the mystery clue,
00:55:54the Book of Ulta could be yours.
00:55:59And that's all our time tonight on the newly dead game.
00:56:04For now, this is your host, Marissa Orlach, saying
00:56:08goodnight and goodbye, kiddies!
00:56:22Oh, Uncle Byron, I can tell you're upset.
00:56:26Congratulations, my dear.
00:56:28I know you'll be quite happy at Castle Orlach.
00:56:33As long as you live.
00:56:40I will have that book.
00:56:53He didn't take that very well, did he?
00:56:55Oh, hell, I don't even want this place.
00:56:56Uncle Byron can have it.
00:56:58I think he was a little more concerned about the Book of Ulta.
00:57:01Then I'd say it's imperative you get your hands on that book before he does.
00:57:05Oh, right.
00:57:06I only have three little problems, pal.
00:57:09One, I don't know where it is.
00:57:10Two, I don't know where to look.
00:57:11And three, I have no idea what that clue meant.
00:57:14Then perhaps we should ask someone who does.
00:57:19Marinus Orlach himself.
00:57:37The spirit world is trouble tonight.
00:57:40This seance could be dangerous.
00:57:41Do you think we'll be able to reach my father?
00:57:43Perhaps.
00:57:44Can't you feel it?
00:57:46Death is nearby.
00:57:48Do we have to do this now?
00:57:50I think the night rates are lower.
00:57:52Everyone, join hands.
00:57:55With each other.
00:58:00Now everyone, concentrate.
00:58:02Oh, spirit world, we reach out for you.
00:58:06Do you wish to receive us?
00:58:08If so, give us some sort of sign.
00:58:14I think that's a no.
00:58:18Maybe, but we must press on.
00:58:21Oh, spirit world, we seek audience with Marinus Orlach.
00:58:25Send us a guide that we may find him.
00:58:30What's he doing?
00:58:32He's channeling.
00:58:35Wait a minute.
00:58:36Wrong channel.
00:58:39This is ridiculous.
00:58:41This is absolutely absurd.
00:58:47Doctor, who have we reached?
00:58:48Well, it ain't Howard Hughes, ma'am.
00:58:50Are you our guide to the spirit world?
00:58:52Uh-huh.
00:58:53That's right, sir.
00:58:55Just a couple of things I want to get out right up front.
00:58:57Speak, spirit.
00:58:58Well, first of all, just found out all my money's still good up here, so have RCA send all my
00:59:02back royalties to me.
00:59:03And second, tell them gumsuckers at the Enquirer that I really am dead.
00:59:06There goes their circulation.
00:59:09Wait a minute.
00:59:10Wait a minute.
00:59:11I feel all the spirits a little stronger than the rest.
00:59:14I'm fading away.
00:59:16I'm fading away.
00:59:17I can feel myself fading away.
00:59:20And don't forget to keep buying my arms.
00:59:22And now, the end.
00:59:30Ladies and gentlemen, Elvis has left the body.
00:59:50Marissa?
00:59:54Marissa, are you okay?
00:59:55Keep away!
00:59:56Marissa, what's wrong?
00:59:58Your mother sells Sachsen health!
01:00:00My mother does what?
01:00:02She's obviously possessed.
01:00:04You're right, Doc.
01:00:05I haven't seen anything like this since they canceled Star Search.
01:00:24Well, that does it for this jacket.
01:00:31Cream the mint.
01:00:34Dexamonite, are you all right?
01:00:36Never felt better.
01:00:40Marissa?
01:00:41Marissa, are you okay?
01:00:43I am the Lady Marissa.
01:00:47Her ancestor?
01:00:48What do you want with Marissa?
01:00:50Byron Orlok must not gain possession of that book.
01:00:53I alone have the power to challenge him.
01:00:57This body shall serve as my dwelling.
01:00:59I think it's already occupied.
01:01:02Fall!
01:01:04You know not what horrors you face.
01:01:07The evil one waits beyond.
01:01:09Beyond where?
01:01:11The evil one waits...
01:01:15Beyond.
01:01:17Quickly!
01:01:18We must perform an emergency exorcism!
01:01:20What?
01:01:20Fortunately, I took that in my first aid class.
01:01:21Oh, and I wasted time on mouth-to-mouthers' hesitation.
01:01:24Hold her tightly, lad.
01:01:25The evil spirit.
01:01:26I cast you out!
01:01:28Be gone.
01:01:29Depart.
01:01:30Withdraw.
01:01:30Take off.
01:01:30Get lost.
01:01:31Get the lid out.
01:01:31Hit the road, Jack.
01:01:32I'm scray!
01:01:35Marissa?
01:01:36What happened?
01:01:37Oh, not much.
01:01:38We just met another family member, that's all.
01:01:40I don't understand.
01:01:42Come, Dexter.
01:01:42She needs rest.
01:01:44We could all use a little sleep.
01:01:45Sleep?
01:01:46In this place?
01:01:48It's all the same to you, Jack.
01:01:49I think I'll stay here and watch the rest of Carson.
01:01:52Ah, it's getting a little weird, a little strange.
01:02:01What's going on up at that cursed castle?
01:02:03Tell me that!
01:02:04No one knows.
01:02:06No one wants to know.
01:02:07I want to know.
01:02:09Gentlemen!
01:02:10Gentlemen!
01:02:11Gentlemen!
01:02:11Byron Orlark is in that castle,
01:02:14and he's brought death and destruction with him.
01:02:17Now, all I can stay,
01:02:19but death and destruction have got to go.
01:02:22Yeah!
01:02:24God knows what unholy rites he's performing there.
01:02:27Meanwhile, we sit here like sheep.
01:02:29Yeah!
01:02:31All this evil must end!
01:02:32Yeah!
01:02:33What do we do about it?
01:02:35Let him go on with his black magic,
01:02:37or send him back to the hell he came from?
01:02:40Yeah!
01:02:42Can you put that to a vote?
01:02:43Oh, why bother?
01:02:44They're all in this together,
01:02:45those Americans and that Van Helsing fellow?
01:02:47I say we go up there,
01:02:49destroy Byron Orlark,
01:02:51burn down the castle,
01:02:52and kill everyone inside!
01:02:54Yeah!
01:02:56Wait a minute!
01:02:57I'd rather go up there,
01:02:59destroy Byron Orlark,
01:03:00but leave the castle intact!
01:03:01No, no, no!
01:03:02Let's burn the castle,
01:03:03kill everyone inside,
01:03:04but let Byron Orlark be!
01:03:06All right, all right, all right!
01:03:07Who's for destroying Byron Orlark?
01:03:10Yeah!
01:03:11Right, you are group one going to back there.
01:03:14Now, who would like to burn down the castle?
01:03:16Yeah!
01:03:18Right, you are group two over here.
01:03:20And finally,
01:03:20who would just like to kill everyone inside?
01:03:24Yeah!
01:03:25Yes, yes,
01:03:25you four are staying right there.
01:03:28What about you, Hans?
01:03:29I'm still considering all my options.
01:03:32Oh, come with us, Hans!
01:03:33Think of the fun we'll have burning down the castle!
01:03:37No!
01:03:38Come with us!
01:03:39We're going to have more fun killing everyone inside!
01:03:42I just don't know!
01:03:44Never mind!
01:03:46You make up your mind when you get there!
01:03:49All right!
01:03:50Take torches,
01:03:52weapons,
01:03:53anything you can carry!
01:03:55Come on, guys!
01:03:56Let's get a real inch more mentality going here!
01:04:01Are you with me?
01:04:17Hey, fellas!
01:04:19Wait up!
01:04:27They're all in their rooms!
01:04:29Or in their coffins!
01:04:31Listen, Marissa,
01:04:32I have to find that book!
01:04:34Even if I'm being searching this entire castle
01:04:36from top to bottom,
01:04:36so you stay here!
01:04:38Oh, no,
01:04:39you're not leaving me behind!
01:04:40I'm here with three homicidal cousins,
01:04:42one lumbering butler,
01:04:43and an uncle who turns off the television
01:04:44with a bazooka launcher!
01:04:45Yeah, wait till you meet my relatives!
01:04:47Have you ever considered the fact
01:04:48they're really trying to scare you?
01:04:50Yes,
01:04:50and they're doing a fine job!
01:04:52From now on,
01:04:52we stick together!
01:04:53And after this is over,
01:04:55we stay together then?
01:04:57Is that a proposal?
01:04:58Well, I think it works a proposition.
01:05:00You want to hear something funny?
01:05:02What?
01:05:02I could really go for a guy like you.
01:05:05You want to hear something funnier?
01:05:06What?
01:05:07I could really go for you.
01:05:09You're right.
01:05:10That is funnier.
01:05:11What?
01:05:12What?
01:05:12What?
01:05:12What?
01:05:13What?
01:05:13What?
01:05:16What?
01:05:17What?
01:05:18What?
01:05:19What?
01:05:20What?
01:05:39Trick or treat?
01:05:41Creature of evil,
01:05:43be gone!
01:05:44What are you,
01:05:45some kind of religious nut?
01:05:46Stand back,
01:05:47lest I cast your soul
01:05:49into eternal perdition.
01:05:50You're taking this whole thing
01:05:52far too seriously.
01:05:54Crucifix,
01:05:54it doesn't repel you?
01:05:57Not particularly.
01:05:59Besides,
01:06:00this whole thing
01:06:01is only a dream sequence.
01:06:03Dream sequence?
01:06:04Take my word for it.
01:06:05It's only a dream.
01:06:07You shouldn't have had
01:06:08those anchovies at dinner.
01:06:09Well,
01:06:09then I guess
01:06:10I'm in no immediate peril.
01:06:12Not exactly.
01:06:14You see,
01:06:14whatever happens in a dream
01:06:16could also be happening
01:06:17in real life.
01:06:18I see.
01:06:20Well,
01:06:21in that case...
01:06:22You're right.
01:06:23You're up to your neck
01:06:24in trouble.
01:06:42I see.
01:07:03One could acquire a taste
01:07:04for this stuff.
01:07:12Is it just me
01:07:13or are things getting weird?
01:07:15No,
01:07:15it's just you.
01:07:17Here,
01:07:18you hang on to these.
01:07:18I'll trip over
01:07:19the furniture for a while.
01:07:20Okay.
01:07:21Hey,
01:07:22what's behind this door?
01:07:23I think I'd rather have
01:07:24what's behind the curtain.
01:07:27Oh,
01:07:28my goodness.
01:07:29It looks just like...
01:07:30Yeah,
01:07:313D.
01:07:33Wow,
01:07:33this is wild.
01:07:35Look,
01:07:35Dix.
01:07:36Put on your
01:07:373D glasses
01:07:38now.
01:07:40Did you bring them?
01:07:40I thought you had them.
01:07:41I don't have them.
01:07:42Damn!
01:07:43Too bad.
01:07:44This could have been
01:07:45a great sequence.
01:07:46What kind of nutty family
01:07:47did I get my
01:07:48life born into?
01:07:49Oh,
01:07:50relax,
01:07:50will you?
01:07:53Uh-oh.
01:08:01I'll flip you to see
01:08:03who faints first.
01:08:06You've played a good game,
01:08:08boy.
01:08:10Now your time
01:08:12has come.
01:08:13Marissa!
01:08:14Duck!
01:08:22A swing and a miss
01:08:24on Dexter Ward.
01:08:25I'll tell you,
01:08:26it's a great night
01:08:27for a baseball game.
01:08:28I'm Stu Nahan,
01:08:29and we're here
01:08:29at the Castle Urlach.
01:08:30Now,
01:08:31Dexter's having
01:08:32a great year.
01:08:33He's hitting
01:08:34498.
01:08:34I'll tell you,
01:08:35that's a big
01:08:35batting average.
01:08:36Four home runs,
01:08:37something like
01:08:3849 RBIs
01:08:39and 16 stolen bases.
01:08:42All right.
01:08:43Here's the wind-up.
01:08:45And the pitch.
01:08:46There's a deep drive
01:08:48going out to right field.
01:08:49Lubevsky going back.
01:08:50He's at the track.
01:08:51He's at the wall.
01:08:53My gosh,
01:08:53it's out of here!
01:09:08Hold on,
01:09:09Matt!
01:09:10We must not
01:09:12falter
01:09:12in our purpose!
01:09:24What is it?
01:09:25It's seeing
01:09:26there's some sort
01:09:26of supernatural sphere
01:09:27or the damnedest
01:09:28Christmas ornament
01:09:29I've ever seen!
01:09:30Oh,
01:09:30what will we do now?
01:09:31Up is down!
01:09:32I'm down,
01:09:32he's out!
01:09:33Well,
01:09:33let's get up,
01:09:34up and full!
01:09:35Sure,
01:09:36but I can still help.
01:09:36Oh,
01:09:37let's get the wheel
01:09:37laddy up on his feet!
01:09:38Help me with his hands,
01:09:40hands!
01:09:40Which hands?
01:09:41His hands!
01:09:43Oh,
01:09:45there now!
01:09:46There now!
01:09:46Are you all right?
01:09:47Am I?
01:09:48Who am I?
01:09:49What film is this?
01:09:50Off!
01:09:51He's coming too!
01:09:51Oh,
01:09:52yes!
01:09:52I remember you!
01:09:54Hans Huff!
01:09:55If you say so.
01:09:59You know,
01:09:59maybe we should just call it
01:10:00and I've been through
01:10:01enough already.
01:10:02You think it's keeping me
01:10:03going as raw nervous energy?
01:10:05Hang on,
01:10:06we've looked upstairs,
01:10:07we've looked downstairs,
01:10:09we've looked everywhere,
01:10:10except...
01:10:11Wait a minute.
01:10:13That's it.
01:10:14That's gotta be it.
01:10:15Come on.
01:10:18What's it?
01:10:19What's gotta be it?
01:10:20Oh,
01:10:20look,
01:10:20she's been pointing
01:10:21the way the whole time!
01:10:22I don't see anything.
01:10:24Yeah,
01:10:24sure,
01:10:24look!
01:10:28Doorway to the crypt.
01:10:29Come on.
01:10:30door.
01:10:46Sure have been lost before.
01:10:48It's gotta be here.
01:10:49Marissa?
01:10:51Marissa?
01:10:56Wait a minute.
01:11:09The ShHS아서
01:11:12Marissa?
01:11:12Marissa?
01:11:22Yes,
01:11:32I did take it with him, but where'd he go?
01:11:45Daddy will be so proud.
01:12:06Good luck would be worth a lot of money right now.
01:12:08Ah, young man. From the first moment I did not recognize you, I knew you would lead us to this
01:12:15book. How can I ever repay you?
01:12:17U.S. currency, large, unmarked bills, thank you.
01:12:20No, I'm afraid you'll never have the opportunity to spend it.
01:12:25That's reassuring. Why is that book so important to you anyway?
01:12:30I've been seeking this volume for nearly fifty years, but now, finally, it's mine.
01:12:40And what do you intend to do with it, hmm?
01:12:44Contained within this volume are the mystic incantations, which can summon forth the evil one.
01:12:52Once again, the forces of darkness shall reign, complete and utter chaos.
01:13:01Why would you want to do that?
01:13:05Because I'm evil. Haven't you figured that out yet?
01:13:15Van Helsing, you've got to stop him!
01:13:17There are several distinct advantages to being a vampire, dear boy.
01:13:26Oh, ancient evil one. Hear these mystic incantations. And come forth!
01:13:58I don't mind dying, but I hate the preliminaries.
01:14:02Byron Arlott!
01:14:10Byron Arlott!
01:14:12Ah, Lady Marissa, you've come back.
01:14:15And in time for my greatest triumph.
01:14:19I came back to stop you, Byron.
01:14:21You started as a wicked child, grew to a malevolent young man,
01:14:26and now you're a vicious, vile adult.
01:14:31But you can't blame a guy for trying.
01:14:33I should have never sent you to that progressive school.
01:14:37But now it's finally time to take things in hand!
01:14:41And I have a few scores to settle with you, dear Arnold.
01:14:45Van Helsing, what are you doing? You're supposed to be one of them.
01:14:48Just because you're a vampire, that doesn't make you a bad person.
01:14:51I have absolute power over the evil one.
01:14:54At last all mankind shall grovel at my feet.
01:14:59And even you, Lady Marissa, will bow and beg my mercy.
01:15:06You know, Byron, you're really starting to piss me off.
01:15:11Oh.
01:15:13Well adieu, then.
01:15:16Even to the death.
01:15:28Hey, Orlok!
01:15:30Hey, Orlok!
01:15:35Oh boy.
01:15:41Don't you know the devil always wins?
01:15:45Yes.
01:15:46Oh.
01:15:50Ha ha ha ha!
01:15:52Ha ha ha ha!
01:15:55Ha ha ha ha ha!
01:15:58Ha ha ha!
01:16:05Ha!
01:16:07Ha ha!
01:16:08Ha!
01:16:10Ha, you fools!
01:16:11You fools!
01:16:12I'll be back in part two!
01:16:26Dexter, what's going on here?
01:16:28Marissa, I was hoping you could tell me.
01:16:33Oh, that sound! It's horrible!
01:16:37Yeah, it's even worse than my song!
01:16:40Look!
01:16:48Where is he?
01:16:49Where is he?
01:16:54My god!
01:16:55It's the evil one! Come forth to conquer the world!
01:17:03Bad Helsing, what are we gonna do?
01:17:05Don't ask me, dear fellow. Vampires, I know.
01:17:08But this love crap stuff is out of my league.
01:17:19Marissa?
01:17:23Marissa?
01:17:24She's being possessed.
01:17:26Again?
01:17:26Yes, she's being repossessed.
01:17:29Sorry, folks.
01:17:31To save yourselves, you must destroy the Book of Ulthar.
01:17:36You're kidding!
01:17:37Destroy him!
01:17:38For this body we'll never put out for you.
01:17:41You got it, lady!
01:17:47You're good!
01:17:47What?
01:17:54Don't ask you to do that鬼 hyperc召善ing or anything.
01:17:54Oh, no!
01:18:00What the hell?
01:18:01Oh, no!
01:18:05It's the only one.
01:18:05It's more than the evil one.
01:18:06It's the only one that happened to play.
01:18:14Dexter, my good fellow. Are you all right?
01:18:18I think so. I sure could have used a stunt double, though.
01:18:21For a moment, we thought you weren't going to make it.
01:18:23You better get him back to the castle. I'll take care of things here.
01:18:26Hey, wait a minute, Doc. You're a vampire now. What are you going to do?
01:18:31Oh, they're not a bad sword, really. Mostly misunderstood.
01:18:35Besides, I always wanted to see how the other half lived, if that's the right word.
01:18:38And, well, you two run along.
01:18:46Hmm.
01:18:48Maybe we can turn this place into a trailer park.
01:18:58What do you think? You think this is a good look for me?
01:18:59Oh, do you ever stop?
01:19:01Oh, come on, Miss Maris. Tomorrow's going to be great.
01:19:04Hey, things will look a lot differently in the morning.
01:19:06It's never morning around here. It's just one endless night.
01:19:13What's that?
01:19:14I don't believe this. It's the same everywhere.
01:19:16You missed one lousy payment, and they shut the power off.
01:19:21Oh, dear.
01:19:24Daddy!
01:19:25Oh, my wrist and my kleine poppin. Oh, the shame that made him. Oh.
01:19:31And you weren't dead after all?
01:19:33No, my dear.
01:19:34I suffer from cataleptic spells which give the appearance of death.
01:19:40Why did you leave home without any word?
01:19:42A family legacy.
01:19:43It is the responsibility of the eldest child to guard the dimensional gateway on our land.
01:19:51Hey, come on, now. All's well but ends well, huh?
01:19:54I mean, the book's gone, and so's old Bob Baringhead over there.
01:19:57Yeah, good riddance to bad rubbish.
01:20:00Daddy, a lot of strange things happen around here.
01:20:02Well, you'll get used to it.
01:20:05It is your responsibility now.
01:20:07As the eldest child, you are obliged to stay here and prevent access of the evil one.
01:20:15As for me, I'm going to go trout fishing in Canada.
01:20:20Daddy, I have a career.
01:20:22I've got a record album and a video due out by the end of the year.
01:20:25Hey!
01:20:28I've got an idea.
01:20:30Why don't we put on a show right here?
01:20:32Sweetie, what's this guy?
01:20:35You don't want to know.
01:20:36I don't want to know.
01:20:37I don't want to know.
01:20:45Action!
01:20:46I heard your voice.
01:20:48Thought it was a dream.
01:20:50So many faces.
01:20:52Don't know what's real.
01:20:54I'm screaming in the night.
01:20:57How can I know?
01:20:59What's wrong or right?
01:21:03Caught in the middle of love.
01:21:07Maybe you know.
01:21:10Caught in the middle of love.
01:21:15Tell me, is it true none of us cast reflections in mirrors?
01:21:19Yes.
01:21:19It makes it a real bitch putting on makeup every night.
01:21:32What's that for?
01:21:33I wanted the movie to end with a bang.
01:21:37I think it's going to.
01:21:39Wait.
01:21:43Turn to the left.
01:21:45Put up your Wi-Fi.
01:21:47I'm upside down.
01:21:49You know it's not right.
01:21:52How crazy is it so?
01:21:54I'm hanging by my heart.
01:21:56Which way to turn?
01:21:59I'm母- thing I know.
01:22:04I'm малень Whether you know.
01:22:05Hot in the middle of love
01:22:10Maybe you know
01:22:12Hot in the middle of love
01:22:19How many times did I cry?
01:22:23Talk to me baby
01:22:27Say what I wanna hear
01:22:29Do what you will
01:22:31In my ear
01:22:48I told you we should have asked for instructions at that last Arco station
01:22:53Never mind, where are we?
01:22:55Somewhere between Omaha and Minsk
01:22:57And where is the Castle Orlach?
01:22:59According to this map, we should be in the living room right now
01:23:02Something is wrong here
01:23:04No wonder
01:23:05This is a map of the Dominican Republic
01:23:11Man, I say we give up
01:23:14Forget everything
01:23:15And go home
01:23:17Orl, wait a minute
01:23:19I say we give up
01:23:20Forget everything, but not go home
01:23:22No, no
01:23:23We should forget everything
01:23:25Go home, but never give up
01:23:27I'll make a compromise
01:23:29We'll give up
01:23:30Go home
01:23:31But remember everything
01:23:33Can we put that to a boat?
01:23:342.5
01:23:37Bye
01:23:5416
01:23:551i
01:23:569
01:23:569
01:23:5710
01:23:5810
01:23:589
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