- 8 hours ago
Interview With The Vampire S03E01
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🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:27Good evening.
00:29The House wishes to extend its gratitude to the gathering for your compliance with the unorthodox prerequisites of tonight's event.
00:37Furthermore, we wish to reiterate that the anonymity that you have granted us will be given to you individually as
00:44well as to any institutions that you are representing.
00:47Stating the obvious, we are not here and neither are you.
00:53Lot 1 of 2, the master recordings of the complete works of the Vampire Lestat de Leoncourt, which includes his
01:002025 self-titled album, The Vampire Lestat, additional session tracks that were discarded in the final assemblage of the album,
01:08original handwritten scores and private recordings by the Vampire Lestat himself, which include a song cycle in the classical vein
01:15set to the poetry of Baudelaire.
01:19Before we begin the bidding, I perform the following action.
01:34We will begin the bidding at 1 yuan. Do I hear 1 yuan?
01:41E-U-N.
01:42Sold to the gentlewoman in the third row of good spirit.
01:48Lot number 2.
01:50A music box curated by the Vampire Lestat himself in 1978 Fernando Marchani Corinto's sideboard.
01:59Inside a Rosner & Zonn Mott turntable with Bialab 90 speakers.
02:05Two, temperature-controlled wine cabinets.
02:08One, holding a bottle of Kneeport 1863 port wine.
02:12The other, with a magnum of blood from the curator himself.
02:16The upper level.
02:17A singular vinyl pressing of the complete works of the Vampire Lestat de Leoncore, previously delineated, along with 111 albums
02:26of audio best described as an omniscient history of the events of the 2025 album and supporting tour and the
02:35consequential global catastrophes that sprung from said album and tour as narrated by the Vampire Lestat himself.
02:42The collection has been named, The Failures.
02:46We will begin the bidding at 50 million yuan.
02:51If you are hearing this now, you must be a very privileged individual.
02:56You could have fed a small nation for years while they paved over the rubble.
03:00You bought my box instead.
03:02I like you already.
03:05So let's begin in the middle.
03:07For I could and should have ended it there.
03:09My tour, my hedonistic pursuit of extremity.
03:13All of it.
03:14And had I done so, the regretful dead and the traumatized still alive would be somewhere other than they are
03:21today.
03:21And I am not saying that the attempted extinction of the Y chromosome across the continents was all my fault.
03:27Now that would suggest a level of self-importance even I am not comfortable with.
03:30But upon reflection, made a contribution.
03:35It was the spring of 2025.
03:37A good nation was making itself great again.
03:41Again.
03:44And every vampire, those converting and those enduring,
03:48well, they were doing exactly as they pleased.
03:52A good nation was making itself great again.
04:22Ooh, ooh, ooh, wah-ah!
04:26Ooh, ooh, ooh, wah-ah!
04:32Wipe a long face,
04:34nothing for the baby.
04:36I've got long face,
04:38come up reason.
04:40You're my long stays.
04:42That doesn't face me!
04:46I'm an addict.
04:48In my makeup,
04:50I get fat so hard.
04:52I won't break her.
04:54What does it matter who I'll take her?
04:58Naturally, I named the band after myself.
05:01And the four that backed me played their parts as instructive.
05:04There was Larry, the front man made sideman, choking his guitar neck nightly, wishing it was mine.
05:10Brother Alex, the more talented seedling, straight-edged in half the fun.
05:16Salamander, bassist, dumb, shockingly dumb.
05:19And TC, the abandoned bride of a dozen should have died in art school bands, keeping us all in the
05:26dirty pocket.
05:27We dropped songs on the streams and booked intimate venues to induce what Jen's snooze called FOMO.
05:33They came for cosplay, left converted, and I baptized them, the beautiful Unwell.
05:37And yet, here we were, in the inn of the Stooges and the Stripes, 30 performances notched and already resting
05:44on the alps of adequacy.
05:47Unacceptable.
05:48Unpure?
05:49Unpure?
05:51Unpure?
05:55Unpure?
05:57Unpure?
05:59Unpure?
06:00Unpure?
06:02Unpure?
06:04Unpure?
06:05Unpure?
06:08Unpure?
06:09Unpure?
06:10Unpure?
06:10Unpure?
06:11Unpure?
06:12Unpure?
06:13Unpure?
06:14Unpure?
06:14Unpure?
06:16Unpure?
06:17Unpure?
06:18Unpure?
06:19Unpure?
06:19It's all the case, it's all the fear
06:21And it's all the fear
06:28Oh, no
06:29Oh, yeah, we're coming
06:45Yeah, we're coming
06:47Oh, yeah, we're coming
06:52Oh, yeah, we're coming
06:54Oh, yeah, we're coming
06:56Oh, yeah, I'm here
06:59Oh, yeah, I'm here
07:01Oh, yeah, I'm here
07:02Oh, yeah, oh
07:07That was boring
07:09Are you single like it?
07:10Harmony's on Plastic Fiends were trash
07:12He's right
07:13And the front head on your kick is shimmering
07:14Turn it up a step
07:15Singer's right
07:16You left your tambourine in his stand, Larry
07:18Yeah, I was feeling the guitar
07:19No one is coming to hear your guitar, Larry
07:21No, they come for the Aussie shit
07:23You're in rage called the Harmony Room
07:24Larry Slater shredding it tonight
07:25And no one
07:26Ever
07:27You sign the checks, dude
07:28I do, I do sign the checks
07:29Sign this
07:30The tambourine tomorrow is rehearsed and perfected
07:32What am I saying?
07:34You're back in Corvallis
07:35Brian the wife, early retirement
07:36And her lawyer link book
07:37Use the pen
07:38But he's funny because his blood
07:40And I'm a bomb
07:41I don't know
07:42There's an organ notarizing red income
07:44There's the band
07:45And there's the shell
07:46That protects the band from the world's envy
07:48Our band shell was Christine Clare
07:51She hired, fired, dictated, and castred
07:55And with extreme prejudice
07:57Try your best not to be you tonight
07:58We want the car
07:59No
07:59We'll be good
08:00Corvallis
08:02What do you think?
08:03I'm out of the way
08:04I'm out of the way
08:05I'm out of the way
08:07All right, Slats
08:08I have to go
08:08So I'm going into my vampire dressing room now
08:11A little draining both ways
08:13You'll have to guess who gets the fangs
08:15And who gets the vodka bottle
08:17And yes
08:18It's a vodka bottle
08:20You get it again
08:22Fucking hell
08:22Did I mention that I was filming a documentary at the time?
08:26A bootless errand helmed by a first-time director
08:28I've seen a rough cut
08:30Truthful and daring
08:31With less war and biggie
08:32Anyone see Yarda?
08:33I'm out of the sky
08:35I'm out of the sky
08:37I'm out of the sky
08:38Missing a contact again
08:41How many drinks have you had?
08:43One and a half
08:44Drive to the burbs
08:45Sit by yourself in a booth at Applebee's
08:47Order the usual
08:47Big tip
08:48Meet us back in the city
08:50Now you'd think a 54 City Rock Tour
08:51Would be a wonderful cover for a blood drinker
08:54Hide your keel up on the bus
08:55Wave to the morgue
08:56Reports in the view of your mirror
08:57That kind of thing
08:58But niche celebrity
08:59Is a hunter's handicap
09:00And a sloppy night in Corvallis
09:02Made urgent the need for a body number
09:05His name was Yarda Klepek
09:06And the Albanian gangsters
09:08Christine hired to find my doppelganger
09:10Found him working construction
09:11In the Czech Republic
09:12Three inches shorter
09:14Than your velvet mouth narrator
09:15We fit him for lifts
09:16Blue eye contacts
09:17And a wig
09:18And otherwise
09:19Let him be Neanderthal me
09:21I hunted this way
09:22And we sent him that way
09:23And every sad photograph
09:25Uploaded to reddito
09:26Discord
09:26Of Yarda eating up tuna melt
09:28By himself
09:29Only confirmed
09:30For most
09:31What they already believed
09:33Let's go!
09:33That I
09:34The Vampire Lestat
09:35Was Daniel Malloy's
09:36Fictitious creation
09:37And The Vampire Lestat
09:39The band was fronted
09:40By a bricklaying karaoke
09:41Phonetic from Ostrava
09:43Nothing but a desperate
09:44Cash grab
09:45At the end of a
09:45Chugi vampire fad
09:46And I've only myself
09:48To blame for the timing
09:48Having locked us
09:49In an attic
09:50For a year plus
09:51Perfecting our sound
09:52A sound I hope
09:53Would counter Mr. Dulac's
09:54Portrayal of me
09:55As a
09:55Mayonnaise villain
09:56With sociopathic tendencies
09:59I'll beside the point
10:00Because the point
10:01Was
10:01The point forever
10:02Is
10:03I know you're real
10:04But most of humanity
10:05Moved on from vampires
10:06And rather quickly
10:08Congratulations
10:10Now go McFrance
10:12They lifted their heads
10:13From their algorithmic
10:14Handmasters
10:15Uttered a collective
10:16And swipe left
10:18I am the Vampire Lestat
10:20I am a god
10:23Gods
10:23Are not
10:26Swiped
10:26The Contessa
10:28The useful idiot
10:29Great show
10:32You left before we started
10:33Yeah I figured
10:34Spotify some T-Rex
10:35And drag a little old egg
10:36From Dr. Fareed
10:37Good here
10:37Same Jeff
10:38I am not here
10:40Can we mic you?
10:41TC punch the boom again
10:42Yeah
10:43Okay
10:48So uh
10:50You and Louie talking again?
10:52He doesn't return my texts
10:54Or my telepathy
10:57I hear he's back in the States
11:01We good?
11:02We're good
11:02It's late
11:05Okay
11:08You've been alive and undead
11:09For 265 years
11:11You witnessed the French Revolution
11:12First hand
11:13The electric light
11:14Penicillin
11:15Two world wars
11:16The atomic bomb
11:17The moon landing
11:18The Berlin Wall
11:19Just not
11:20What?
11:21He eats hot dogs for a living
11:23He's extraordinary
11:23I hope to meet him one day
11:24Was there a question?
11:25Having accumulated profound wisdom
11:27And experience through the dark gift of immortality
11:29Why have you chosen to waste at singing music
11:32No one wants to hear
11:34In pants no one should ever squeeze into?
11:36You ask this question every night
11:37And I get a different answer every night?
11:39You get me to repeat myself soon enough
11:40I am sure once you confront your transformational trauma
11:43I don't have transformational trauma
11:45That's why these movie producers hired you
11:47Danny Molloy
11:48Vampire Slayer
11:49They said you requested me
11:51Absurd
11:52Oh
11:52As absurd as a documentary about a rock band
11:54Posing as vampires
11:56Fronted by an actual vampire
11:58Directed by a vampire passing as a human
12:00You tell him for it
12:02Is it true you were a stutterer as a child?
12:05Louie said you were
12:12Was he there in 18th century Auvers?
12:14He said you told him that
12:15Did I threaten Claudia with rape on a train?
12:17Was I in the room when Donizetti wrote Don Pasquale?
12:21No
12:21No
12:22And impossible
12:23Because I had buried myself underground
12:25For the vast majority of the 1800s
12:27I wrote what he told me
12:28I don't have trauma
12:30I love being a vampire
12:31And can you drop the fledgling speak and spell?
12:40The dark dreary industrial world
12:43Has finally submitted to automation
12:47Laborers stand in their doorways
12:50Hitting their pipes
12:51As their children have pipe
12:53In their drained empty swimming pools
12:55Drugstores locked up baby formula
12:58And shaving cream
12:59While Saks ate Barneys
13:01And someone told everyone that Lululemon was sexy
13:05Facts are irrelevant
13:09Fields are everything
13:12And the value of human life
13:14It has never been more arbitrary
13:17David
13:18Freddy
13:20Prince Rogers
13:21They're all gone
13:22And the lights
13:23Some take their ears
13:25Have dimmed
13:26Fire
13:26Coming down the hill
13:28Water moving in on Nantucket
13:32No more safe spaces
13:36It's my era
13:37Now
13:41Host Malone and Jelly Roll
13:43Playing there tonight
13:4460,000 for face tattoo palooza
13:46You played an 800 seat venue
13:48How was it your era?
13:52I'm vain and shallow
13:54And pure an empty seat
13:54Ask me an easy one
13:57Is it true your band was formed on Halloween?
14:05You are listening to The Failures
14:09Album 2, side beat
14:31What do you think?
14:33It's nice
14:35Nice?
14:35Yeah
14:36It's nice
14:37I don't see Beyonce covering it
14:38But it's nice
14:41Nice is nothing
14:43It's nice
14:44Nice is unknown
14:44Did you back write music?
14:45A flower box is nice
14:46It's nice
14:47You got yourself a nice place
14:48It's a nice word
14:50And it says everything I wanted to express
14:52Don't be a bitch about it
14:55You should come visit
14:56I have a space above the bed
14:59In one of the guest rooms
15:00I can't find a painting for
15:01Oh, a guest room?
15:02You want me to come and see your guest room?
15:05It's an afternoon neighborhood
15:06Old money
15:08Young professionals
15:09A smattering of
15:10Christ de Trasso en bébé
15:11Same potholes
15:16But no hurricanes
15:18No witches
15:20Everyone mangles French
15:21Just like you do
15:23Come to me
15:24Montreal
15:25I am he
15:26And he is me
15:29That's baggage here
15:30I get it
15:31I get it
15:33Besides, there's an Olmstead Park nearby
15:35If I get homesick
15:36And there's a
15:38Garage band
15:39Rehearsing across the street
15:40Who call themselves
15:41Of all things
15:43Satan
15:44They call themselves
15:45Of all things
15:46Satan?
15:47Satan's night
15:48Oh
15:49Satan's night out?
15:50Out
15:50Satan's night out
15:52Okay
15:53Let me see
15:53Louis, do you know someone called Daniel Malloy?
15:58I burned his laptop!
16:00I didn't know he had it saved in the cloud
16:01I only found out it was coming out a month ago
16:03You've known for a month?
16:04And you talk about me and it to a mortal?
16:06Well, yeah, uh, yeah
16:07Gonna, you know
16:09No, I don't know, Louis
16:10Please
16:11Explain yourself
16:12It's gonna be here and gone in a minute
16:14No one reads anymore
16:15The stade, he's kind of whatever
16:17100%
16:18But Armand
16:19He's kind of mysterious
16:21Yeah, there's layers
16:22He's killing his roof
16:24And all the boomers
16:26Did he go to see the other farm with his resting buttress?
16:29I skipped that
16:30And I was going to see my baby boy in the corner of the room
16:34I'll do it
16:36You have to do it
16:36You have to do it
16:37You have to do it
16:38I'll kill it
16:39I'll kill it
16:41I'll kill it
16:41I'll kill it
16:42I'll kill it
16:45I'll kill it
16:46I'll kill it
16:47I'll kill it
16:48I'll kill it
16:49I'll kill it
16:50I'll kill it
16:50100%
16:50How many wildsleeves
16:52Do you want to become a member?
16:55There's 10%
16:55No, thank you!
17:00Oh, I know what Infinicettimo means
17:07It was raining
17:08No, no
17:10Never
17:14Fuckin'
17:15Play out
17:16I'm not a harlequin
17:17Your sources are your sheriffs
17:20Your editor is your priest
17:22No, go to the F
17:23Genius just out
17:26Why must you complicate it?
17:29Wendor's Chains
17:31Can you please?
17:32Hello
17:35Oh, I wanted the full-size bar
17:39Oh, I wanted the full-size bar
17:44Your camera is not period correct.
17:47I had a peanut allergy.
17:48Well, allergies are delusional.
17:51Take the mounts.
17:52You'll take whatever I give you.
18:12You should go.
18:14You want to go?
18:17No, it's not!
18:20You would be right.
18:28I'm not trying to play the game.
18:31You would be right, don't you?
18:47This is in 1979, but Lugosi is not dead.
18:51You don't need to finger her for five bars.
18:54You're hurting her.
18:58Apologies for the squire.
19:00My manager will come in the morning with your replacement.
19:03And a new front door.
19:06More frequent showers?
19:13What was the question again?
19:15Why music?
19:16Hey! Hey!
19:18Why now?
19:20Dude, that was sick.
19:21What are we doing here?
19:24We're doing a rewrite.
19:27So this whole tour is just some ironic reaction to my book.
19:32Who better to refute the book than the man who wrote the book?
19:37The songs of my story.
19:38Your documentary, The Liner Notes.
19:40Ha! Liner Notes?
19:41I want two pollicers.
19:42I'm taking this thing to Cannes.
19:44Okay?
19:45I'm gonna be slapping Chris Rock and stroking my Oscar.
19:49The Brat sings, The Brat dies.
19:52The Great Laws are clear on this.
19:53I love this.
19:54More exposure for us.
19:55More risk for us.
19:57I'm going to make my songs in their songs.
19:58He sings for himself.
20:02Make more!
20:05Only a cover theater can make more.
20:07The Great Laws are clear on that.
20:09First the book, now the singer.
20:11This is chaos.
20:12It does a bit of share with you.
20:13If he comes to your people, kill him.
21:12The Great Laws are clear on that.
21:32The Great Laws are clear on this.
21:50I got a real life one
21:53Dead book, didn't try to run
21:56I got a real life one
22:00Suck it on the sun
22:01No time for going up
22:03No time for blowing up
22:04No time for blading out
22:06Your boat is blowing up
22:07I got a real life one
22:09No time for oh my step brother
22:11Until he come through
22:14Die, die, die
22:15The one that's about to try to be your morning star
22:18The one that's about to try to dance
22:20What's in your bed?
22:22Even if you're a man
22:28Oh
22:32The beef house in the Twinox Mall
22:34Order at the bar this time
22:35Take some photos with the fans
22:37Keep it scrolling
22:38We're only going to launch an old machine
22:44Hi puppy
22:45I've been a bad boy
22:47Deep down in my heart
22:48I get the million dogs
22:49Secrets of the very star
22:51Give me a million more screens
22:53It means exactly
22:54What you think it means
22:56Do, do, do
22:57Da, da, da
22:59Don't want to smash yourself
23:00You're a badass star
23:02Don't want to learn a fucking TikTok dance
23:04Want to stay in bed
23:06In black and your ass
23:14Pick up the fucking jammerie
23:16From the ups of adequacy
23:18To the canyon of coup d'etat
23:20Two nights in a row
23:21My violin competing with his guitar
23:24For the solo break
23:25Two centuries waiting to share
23:27My music
23:28Two years
23:29As Mr. Dulac's B-movie brooked
23:32But just as I was about to bridge the bridge
23:35With murder and mayhem
23:37Something quite surprising happened
23:40My music
23:41Wrapped itself around me
23:43Like a jungle snake
23:44Constricting its prey
23:45And a lifetime of blood-bartering
23:48Overwhelmed the temporal lobe
23:51Muses appeared in my mind
23:52And in the now around me
23:56Memories taking their turn
24:01Blood in
24:04Blood out
24:07Hammering away at the performative vampire persona
24:10I had welded into armor
24:15The armor cracked
24:18The bridge buckled
24:21And the bonafide vampire emerged
24:24Center stage
24:25It was I who had been adequate
24:29It was I who had been holding us back
24:33And now
24:34Exposed in the roar
24:36Under the white hot lights
24:39My bandmates
24:40Began to feed
24:44And that sound
24:45I had been grinding them for
24:47Was finally
24:48Unleashed
24:49A euphoric grudiness
24:51Spilling into the crowd
24:52Into their bodies
24:54Enveloping the venue
24:55I wanna take it back
24:59Give it back
25:00Give it back
25:01Give it back
25:01I wanna take it back
25:05Give it back
25:06Give it back
25:07I wanna take it back
25:31Which one of you is OD'd before?
25:34What do you do?
25:36What did she take?
25:37Not her
25:39Me
25:39Get her on the ground
25:41I'm lying
25:42I said
25:44Ecstasy
25:46LSD
25:46I should have quit right there and then
25:56Would have been a lovely footnote to my life
25:58The band
25:59But the muses were just beginning
26:03You done this to me?
26:05What are you doing?
26:07I lost myself on stage for a moment
26:10Seems you still lost
26:14These songs gonna kill you
26:15You know that, don't you?
26:17I can't die
26:17Everything dies
26:19You die
26:20I die
26:21She dies
26:23She dies
26:24Though he dies bad
26:28I'm immortal
26:29Yeah, you kill some wolves
26:31And fall in love
26:32Get the gift
26:33Fall in love
26:34Go to ground
26:35Get dug up
26:35And fall in love
26:36You like some wet clothes
26:38And a coin-op dryer
26:39Just 265 years
26:41Round and round
26:43Why are you so sad?
26:45Thousands of fans loving you
26:47I want millions
26:48And that'll top off
26:50That heart of yours
26:53Billions
26:54Then why you always gotta make it so hard
26:57For someone to give it to you
26:58Huh?
27:00Who told you that?
27:01Don't worry
27:02They coming
27:05Who's coming?
27:06Oh, they gonna tell you themselves
27:09Who's coming?
27:10Great show, didn't I?
27:12Who?
27:16You are listening to The Failures
27:18Album 5, Side B
27:20If you take nothing else away
27:22From your exorbitant purchase
27:24Heed this advice
27:26Never play two nights in Detroit
27:28You'll wind up in Windsor
27:30With a broken orbital bone
27:31Listening to transactional sax
27:33Through the adjoining walls
27:35How I came to this squalid real estate
27:37Is the premise of Side B, Album 5
27:39So
27:42Come
27:44Now the boutique hotel we were staying at
27:46Was having a grandish opening that night
27:48And the band was asked to lend its celebrity status to the event
27:51Don't tell me to pose
27:52Fuck you
27:53There was a red carpet
27:55A pap line
27:55And a vampire DJ of some renown
27:57Seducing corporate employees
27:59Provincial influencers
28:00And party crashing beautifully
28:01I was having sex in an elevator
28:05With Dee and the girl I had just overindulged myself with
28:08Early in the night
28:09Actually
28:10That happens
28:11Later
28:12Later
28:13A lot of things happened that night
28:15Come on
28:19The band is inside
28:20With Dan
28:21And a VIP perch
28:23I'm giving the paps my pussy cap
28:25With no idea that I would be in a fang fight less than an hour later
28:29No, no, no, no
28:30I'm getting ahead of myself again
28:32I arrive
28:33Fashionably late, of course
28:35State your name for the camera
28:36Baby Jinx
28:37Okay, baby
28:38Tell me
28:39Why do you like the vampire Lestat?
28:41Like I'm gonna be in the movie?
28:43Oh, you're in it now
28:44I am feeling good
28:47Surfing the sublime candyflip wave of the girl's blood
28:50Hear him
28:51Hear that voice
28:52The girl is feeling good
28:54Wow
28:55Riding the wonders of Dr. Fareed's blood transfusion quick pick-me-up cocktail
28:58Who is this guy?
29:00Cause like rock and roll, it's dying
29:02I sat there
29:03Soaking up her praise
29:04Along with the band
29:05Still somehow blind to the vampiric mysteries of their front men
29:09So what if the dead and buried past was now a fresh and eager groupie?
29:13It's rock and roll, you know
29:14Have a nervous breakdown on stage
29:16Chatted up with the floating girl on the ceiling you almost killed
29:19Have sex with her in the elevator
29:20Ah, I'm still not there yet
29:23MDMA and LSD
29:25The Torval and Dean of hallucinogenics
29:27And so then everybody's like
29:28Is rock and roll actually dying?
29:30Were you a stutterer as a child?
29:32They walk into the ER
29:34They are like
29:35The doctor
29:36Unless that's the scalpel
29:38I'm the scalpel printed t-shirt
29:40And so he
29:41The scalpel
29:43Cuts into rock and roll's heart
29:45Like he cut into mine tonight
29:47And he has the heart
29:49In his mouth
29:49He's like
29:51Do you want to fuck?
29:53And rock and roll is like
29:54Yes, bitch
29:55I excuse myself to the men's room
29:58Didn't read about vampire physiology
30:00In Mr. Dulac's memoir
30:02Did you?
30:02No mention of the scars on my chest either
30:04Hair stopping way above my shoulders
30:07And just for the record
30:08No ticket pocket of mine
30:09Ever had his initials inscribed onto them
30:11These are the editorial wags of an insane person
30:16Note to self-edit that out in the final version
30:19Starting again
30:20Vampires pee
30:22We don't do it as often as you do
30:23Assuming you're not one of us
30:24And we generally avoid eco-friendly urinals
30:37Detroit
30:37Detroit
30:38Detroit
30:39Detroit
30:55There, Ross.
31:10Ross here has a hot mouth and a strong pelvic floor.
31:15I admire your aim.
31:18Long face sucks.
31:20Ross wanted to apologize.
31:22What? Black licorice?
31:25Why do I have to feel?
31:28I like those ones.
31:30Frankly, Mr. Shankler almost run quite as dead.
31:33I apologize if you accept it.
31:36We have Coven out here in the front.
31:38Do you?
31:39The Fang Gang.
31:41You want to see a real vampire bar? Come with us.
31:43We have a huge house out past Bragmore.
31:46Our own farm under the floorboards.
31:48Hmm, sure. What about tomorrow night?
31:51You're on the road tomorrow night.
31:53Yes, it was me being polite.
31:56No, that was you lying.
31:59Eco-friendly urinals.
32:01Good for the planet, so we're told.
32:03Good for vampires?
32:04Hmm.
32:05We shardonnay them.
32:11And then there's regional vampires.
32:14Always trying to make a name for themselves.
32:17I shardonnay them too.
32:19Obligations I'm afraid.
32:21But please do send my most sincere bonjour to your bright nourish color.
32:29Lilac.
32:42I have a blind spot when it comes to blood poisoning.
32:45I don't think a vampire at my stature would know better.
32:48But then there's that old saying.
32:49You fool me once, shame on me.
32:51You fool me twice.
32:52MDMA and LSD are excellent drugs.
32:55Bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce.
32:57Twirl.
32:58Twirl.
32:59Overshare.
33:00I saw your soul.
33:02I saw yours too.
33:07Still feeling good.
33:09I went looking for my band.
33:10Looking for sex.
33:12Looking for anything that radiated the fun that I sang about in my song.
33:15Long Face.
33:17And then.
33:20Regionals.
33:21What did you say that Long Face sucked?
33:23Long Face sucks.
33:25Does it suck?
33:26I wondered.
33:27Did she have a point?
33:29And then I thought.
33:30Ooh.
33:31They want a little scrap with a scalpel.
33:34No worries.
33:34I thought I had the queen's blood in me.
33:36I could take 20 regionals at once with the queen's blood.
33:40Where's the band then?
33:43They called corporate bullshit.
33:46But to party upstairs.
33:50So I'm scoring dick pills in Mogadishu for a UN peacekeeper.
33:53When in walks Stuart Copeland.
33:55Wearing a kufi and a mouth full of ammo.
33:58So I thought about having sex with Christine.
34:00And then I thought.
34:01It's all the way upstairs.
34:02And then I thought.
34:04I'm the scalpel.
34:05What does the scalpel do between here and upstairs?
34:10Mr. Deluxe Memoir tiptoed around vampire sex, didn't it?
34:14He and Dan made it out to be this tortured act or obligational foreplay before blood drinking.
34:20That is not the case at all.
34:22It's not the capstone of empiric desires.
34:24That would be the taking of life.
34:26The next would be a good draining.
34:27Leaving your victim near death and paralyzed for an unhurried escape.
34:31And after that.
34:32There's the petticoot.
34:33The little drink.
34:34The sip.
34:35And after those three.
34:37It's sex.
34:38So now you know.
34:39The fourth best thing a vampire can do to avoid thinking about the past.
34:43Is to have sex.
34:44Sex.
34:45Sex.
34:46And I have had a lot of sex over the years.
34:48It's not all pain and toxicity.
34:49I have an immortal life and I carry with it an immortal erection.
34:53And I am not ashamed of it.
34:55Sex is fun.
34:56Like the fun I sing about in Long Face.
34:58Which, looking back on it now, does suck.
35:02I still have residuals coming in actually.
35:05Carnal pleasure is essential to a vampire's survival.
35:08If only to keep time's baggage from burying you.
35:13Sex with the bowman and Dee and honey trapping baby Jenks.
35:17Probably should have gotten off the seventh floor when I had gotten off.
35:22Sex.
35:23Sex.
35:23But I didn't.
35:26I'm getting married in a week.
35:29I'll never forget you.
35:37Law four.
35:38No vampire shall ever reveal his or her true nature to a mortal.
35:42And let the mortal live.
35:44You do know it's 2025.
35:48Faze the wall, my dear.
35:49You'll not want to see this.
35:52Mmm.
35:53The Tooth Team.
35:55The Fang.
35:57Gang.
36:00I killed a pack of wolves when I was immortal.
36:03I'll most likely tell you about that later as I let it define me for a time.
36:06A normally confining architecture and a thrift store coven galvanized by medieval dogma
36:11winners phase me in the least.
36:13I'm building a career that supports my well-being.
36:15But the drug blood in my sex legs and the distracting past my music had unleashed on me
36:21put me at a momentary disadvantage.
36:23I'm in charge of my work-life balance?
36:26Law four.
36:26As if the Dulac Malloy memoir hadn't outed us all two years ago.
36:30Oh my god.
36:30As if my entire stage show wasn't a bawdy burlesque of is he or isn't he.
36:35As if half the vampire population outside the ruined pool in Detroit
36:39wasn't waving the dark gift like red cups in a piss bar.
36:42Collecting fledglings like they were the booboo dogs.
36:45I mean I haven't even told my band I was an actual vampire.
36:48I was just singing my songs and fucking my food and defending myself from the vibrant life choices I had
36:53made on my way from the Auvergne countryside to the eighth floor of this why bother hotel.
36:57And this is how it was all going to end for me.
37:00We are the fangag.
37:02We are the children of the darkness reborn.
37:06Take this fucking crap.
37:12What the fuck does that even mean?
37:15I thought it was an after party on the asshole floor.
37:18I like to think I was owed the reinforcements.
37:21Dan and the oddly familiar DJ.
37:23But that's me looking back on it now.
37:26Anything I had done to deserve a timely rescue hadn't happened yet.
37:29I'd be dead I think without Dan.
37:32But then maybe more of the world would still be alive had Dan rallied his army downstairs.
37:38Consider this sliding door of Dan.
37:41As you defend my blood and devour my words.
37:55It's hard hiding you're a god.
37:58You're for real?
37:59CCTV.
38:00Eagle flush toilets.
38:02IMF freezing your accounts because you have the blood of a patricidal queen inside you.
38:05Hello again.
38:08We have to go out here.
38:09Telemask attracted me into that.
38:11And once you reveal yourself you have to be on all the time.
38:15And remember every face you've ever met.
38:17And everywhere you go everyone remembers the thing they said to you in the room that you shared.
38:22Were you a stutterer as a child?
38:27This is why gods prefer hiding in the clouds.
38:30There's nothing there.
38:33But water waiting to fall.
38:41So many opportunities to call it a night that night.
38:45After the song unleashed the muses.
38:48After I saw my first soul.
38:51After I was nearly decapitated in a boutique hotel hallway.
38:56After my vampire nature was revealed to the band and my vampire gift winged me away north of the river
39:02south of the country.
39:06But I was saved from such rational thought.
39:10Love will do that to you.
39:13No.
39:32Any kind of you to go.
39:39I'm out and out.
39:40I'm out.
39:42Music.
39:43Makes sense.
39:44Music's opened up to that show then, and I'm not sure if I can close it again.
39:53I'm not really at my best, but...
39:59It's very nice to see you again.
40:06I like what you've done with your hair, Mike.
40:10Mike.
40:17My...
40:18Gabriel.
40:22It's not much of a reveal, I guess.
40:24I know it's common gossip now, the first thing one thinks about when my name comes up.
40:30I assume a privileged individual such as yourself enjoys a little dirt in their sandwich.
40:37So I serve it to you now.
40:40How it felt then.
40:42The fledgling.
40:46Lover.
40:48Mother.
40:49The granddaddy.
40:50The act of the roar.
40:50The king.
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