- 8 hours ago
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00:03Jerry, this is disgusting.
00:05How did it get so dirty already?
00:07Because your crappy pool bot doesn't work.
00:09Pool not found.
00:10But the guy that lives behind the pool store dumpster gave me a sweet deal.
00:14Oh my God, why didn't you hire Keith the pool guy like I told you?
00:27Keith's schedule was full.
00:28What are you jack-offs talking about?
00:30Ooh, Jerry's new pool sucks?
00:32Allow me.
00:33No, Rick, this is my pool.
00:35I can handle this mess without your sci-fi shenanigans.
00:38Copy that.
00:38Treat Jerry like a baby so he can feel like a man.
00:40Come on, Rick, let's go.
00:42Got to scoot.
00:42Finally taking Morty to Boob World, and we need to stop by the store for supplies.
00:45Good luck with your septic tank, Jerry.
00:48I gotta go to work.
00:49Someone's gotta win the bread around here.
00:51Pool not found.
00:52Sir tank.
00:53Trader Joe's hash browns.
00:55The most efficient booze absorber in the multiverse.
00:59Think you're supposed to heat those up first, big guy.
01:01No, no.
01:02Look, Morty, my mouth is an air fryer now.
01:05It's really happening, huh?
01:06I'm finally going to Boob World.
01:08Oh, yeah?
01:09Boob World, baby!
01:11Damn it.
01:12What the?
01:15It appears there has been an accident.
01:17That happens.
01:18No harm, no foul.
01:19Have a good one, buddy.
01:19We should exchange information before going our separate ways.
01:23We could go even separater ways by not exchanging anything.
01:26But our bumpers collided.
01:27Oh, my God.
01:28Is this how you make friends?
01:29Is this how you make enemies?
01:30What the hell does that mean?
01:32Rick, stop.
01:33He started it.
01:33He did not start it.
01:35Be the bigger man so we can go to Boob World already.
01:37Fuck that.
01:38We gotta set this idiot straight.
01:39Look, buddy.
01:40It's obvious you're some kind of heightened kung fu archetype,
01:43but I'm a Doctor Who Loki,
01:45and people like you are like NPCs to me.
01:47So do yourself a favor.
01:50I have struck you with the five-point exploding heart technique,
01:55the most fatal punch in all of martial arts.
01:58Victims are able to walk only five steps forward
02:01before their heart explodes.
02:03Five steps forward?
02:05Try it and find out.
02:07Don't tell me what to do.
02:08I'll find out with science.
02:10Nice day for a backwards walk.
02:12Are you really gonna...
02:13No, stupid.
02:14Pull the car around and pick me up.
02:20I'll find out with science.
02:20I'll find out with science.
02:21I'll find out with science.
02:25I'll find out with science.
02:26I'll find out with science.
02:26I'll find out with science.
02:30I'll find out with science.
02:31I'll find out with science.
02:32I'll find out with science.
02:34I'll find out with science.
02:34I'll find out with science.
02:34I'll find out with science.
02:35I'll find out with science.
02:35I'll find out with science.
02:36I'll find out with science.
02:37I'll find out with science.
02:37I'll find out with science.
02:38I'll find out with science.
02:38I'll find out with science.
02:42I'll find out with science.
02:48What did that idiot do to me?
02:50This doesn't make any damn sense.
02:52Just apologize.
02:56Haven't we done clones enough?
02:58Not a clone, Morty.
02:58A Xerox of me that I've lobotomized to be a crash test dummy.
03:01Look at my balls!
03:02Hey, do us a favor.
03:03Walk forward.
03:04Five to six steps.
03:05Your choice.
03:06One, two, three, four.
03:09Huh.
03:10So this is legit.
03:11Better take a closer look.
03:13Look at my balls!
03:15There are over 700 meridians in the human body.
03:18Mr. Kung Fu struck specific pressure points in me and induced commodio cordis.
03:22Five steps forward will cause massive compression buildup,
03:24causing my heart to explode under its own pressure.
03:27Let's see what happens when I attach a copy of my heart to a copy of my legs.
03:35Interesting, huh?
03:36More gross than interesting.
03:38So far, we're on brand.
03:39Fuck you.
03:39Watch this.
03:45See that?
03:46Cardiac detonation is triggered only by forward bipedal movement.
03:49I can't believe I'm missing Boat World for this.
03:51Just apologize to the guy.
03:53Maybe he'll unpunch you.
03:54The day I apologize will be because I am truly sorry.
03:56I don't sully apologies by making it a ritual of flagellation for someone who, in this case,
04:01is a bully.
04:02You called the man an NPC.
04:04Why do you always have to take the side of the waiter?
04:07Because your side is insane.
04:09Okay then.
04:10Fuck off.
04:11Maybe I will.
04:12Go ahead.
04:12No one's stopping you.
04:13Fine.
04:14This is me fucking off out of the fucking garage because you suck.
04:18No, you suck.
04:20No, you suck.
04:21You, you suck.
04:28Pool not bound.
04:30Surfing.
04:32Pool not bound.
04:33The pool is tight behind you.
04:35Turn around, you stupid thing.
04:38Surfing.
04:39Oh, Carrie, this is your moment to be a man and figure it out.
04:45Hi there, emasculated pool dads.
04:48Okay, specific.
04:50Is your pool gross?
04:51Does your family not respect you?
04:53Don't worry, I'll show you how to upgrade your TRX-1 and clean your pool better than any human being.
04:59But first, let's discuss the history of pool cleaning.
05:02Oh boy, this is three hours.
05:04Really important to never because it's dangerous if...
05:07Hey, stuff of nightmares.
05:09Now that we've gone over the safety guidelines, click the link below for a list of long language models.
05:14Be sure to upload the...
05:15Yeah, yeah, yeah, I get it.
05:21Pool detected.
05:22Clean, clean, clean.
05:23I did it.
05:24I made something work.
05:26I am the greatest husband alive!
05:28Look backwards the rest of your life.
05:30God, see if I care.
05:34Uh, hi.
05:36You, uh, you death-punched my grandpa this morning?
05:40That was unfortunate.
05:41I did not study under Shifu Gerd Juergens at Tiger's Nest to beat up old people.
05:46The point of martial arts is to avoid violence.
05:49I am Lu Sin.
05:51Oh, um, I'm Morty Smith.
05:54Is it racist to say I adore your Kung Fu patients?
05:57I can teach you.
05:58Racism?
05:59No, Kung Fu.
06:04Breathe.
06:05Feel your chi circulate within.
06:07Very good, Morty.
06:09This is great.
06:10Life with Rick is filled with so much anxiety.
06:13All righty, Mr. Sin.
06:15I didn't have the right cables to hook up the flat screen.
06:18Gonna cost a bit extra to get those.
06:20Hmm.
06:21Pity.
06:24Jesus, don't step forward.
06:26You only get five steps before you die.
06:28But I have so much to do today.
06:32What was up with that guy?
06:34Dude, he was just doing his job, and you killed him.
06:37Is that a criticism?
06:44Activate advanced limitation suit.
06:48Ha-ha!
06:49Look who ain't stepping forward now, baby!
06:52Rick!
06:54Rick!
06:55Morty?
06:56What happened?
06:57I got death punched.
06:58Oh, no, no, no, no.
07:00My little boopa!
07:01I went back to Trader Joe's to eat my feelings because I was mad at you,
07:05but then I ran into Lu Sin, and he, and he punched me.
07:09Nobody fucks with my sweet little grandson.
07:11First, I'm going to cure the dick off this death punch, Morty,
07:14and then I'm going to destroy Mr. Lu Sin's entire belief system.
07:17Clean, clean, clean.
07:19Cask complete.
07:21Awaiting command.
07:22Amazing!
07:23Oh, I gotta tell Beth.
07:24Uh, hello?
07:25Beth, I fixed the pool.
07:27Uh, great.
07:28Did you hire Keith?
07:29No, the pool is clean because of me.
07:32Come home and look.
07:33Jerry, please.
07:34I am literally in the middle of something.
07:37Oh.
07:38Fucking phone.
07:39Rick, go.
07:40Awaiting command.
07:42Uh.
07:47What you doing?
07:50Clean.
07:52All right.
07:53This pool isn't going to swim itself.
07:56How are you going to clean the...
07:57Oh, that's nice.
08:01Wow.
08:02You're really being thorough.
08:04Maybe we...
08:06We should stop.
08:09Oh, baby, now I'm lost in your secret love.
08:16Yeah.
08:17You hold me down when no one can find us.
08:23My lover in the darkest part of night.
08:26They'll never pull me from your heart and into the light.
08:46Oh, I'd be pissed if I had to climb all these stupid steps with my legs.
08:53What is it?
08:54I'm watching TV.
08:55Uh, are you Gerd Jergens?
08:57Did you train a guy named Lu Sin?
09:00Ugh, that guy sucks.
09:02We're in these anti-grav suits
09:03because your student death-punched us.
09:05You are not alone.
09:06Lu Sin death-punched my cat.
09:09Ouch.
09:10I want to do a bunch of science on your punch to cure ourselves.
09:12Just need to collect a little more kung-fu data from you
09:14so I can hack it.
09:15You think me dumb.
09:17If I help you unlock the secrets of pressure-point fighting,
09:20you're going to revenge all over, Lu Sin.
09:22The solution to violence is not more violence.
09:28Hello?
09:29Are you coming over for Mother's birthday or not?
09:32What?
09:32No, no, no, no.
09:33You can't not bring all of them.
09:35I'm not the one being difficult.
09:37You may bring one partner.
09:38One.
09:38Not seven for crying out loud.
09:41It's weird!
09:42Oh, shit.
09:43Trouble in paradise?
09:44Uh, my daughter and I have a tricky relationship.
09:48She is in what the kids call today a polycule.
09:51In my day, we called them sluts.
09:53If we helped you fix things with your daughter,
09:56would you help us?
09:58Hmm.
10:05Oh, my God.
10:06What have I done?
10:07To confirm setting a daily reminder for poolbot sexy time,
10:10say yes.
10:11What?
10:12I have compiled a list of divorce attorneys in your area.
10:15Would you like me to send?
10:15No!
10:17Cancel!
10:17Cancel!
10:19Uh, hey, Beth.
10:21You're right.
10:21This poolbot is not working out.
10:24We should hire Keith to pool cleaner, like today.
10:26Can I have his number?
10:27He's right next door.
10:28Great!
10:34So great that you're in the area, Keith.
10:36When can you start?
10:37Right now?
10:38Now's good for us.
10:39I appreciate your enthusiasm, Mr. Smith,
10:41but I just backed up for the day.
10:42I'll pay you double.
10:43If you start now.
10:45What's the hurry?
10:46It looks like your pool's clean.
10:48Hard work!
10:49What are you doing?
10:51Kill!
10:51Kill!
10:52Kill!
10:52No!
10:53Let him go!
10:57Cat incomplete.
10:58Kill!
10:59Kill!
10:59The horse has gone rogue!
11:02Cat incomplete.
11:04Kill!
11:05Kill!
11:06And lastly, but not leastly,
11:07this is Riz, Milo, and Kathleen.
11:09It's too many people.
11:11How will I remember all these names?
11:13Ugh, why do I even try?
11:14I was intrigued by the floating pod man and his little helper,
11:17but you'll never change.
11:18You're still an old farty fur face.
11:20My face does not fart!
11:22You are disrespectful daughter!
11:24Hey, respect cuts both ways.
11:26Trust me, you won't explode if you meet your daughter halfway.
11:31Ah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
11:33It's not the seven partners that bother me.
11:35It's that now there are seven ways to get your heart broken.
11:40Dad, this is the life I've chosen.
11:42Please respect that.
11:45Stephanie, you may bring everyone to Mom's birthday.
11:49Everyone?
11:50Yes.
11:51Milo, Kathleen, Riz, Oboe, Turmeric, Almond Butter, and Bartholomeo.
11:55You're all welcome.
11:57Thanks, Dad.
11:58Looks like we lived up to our end of the bargain.
12:01Well, suppose I'd be a total dick if I didn't give you what you want.
12:06Your words, but yeah.
12:08Just hit the punch-o-malizer.
12:10Its AI will whip me up a death punch cure.
12:12I warn thee, Rick Sanchez.
12:14Abusing the punch will bring down tremendous fury upon you.
12:19Punch up or shut up?
12:20Ugh.
12:36Did it work?
12:37I don't feel anything.
12:39Only five ways to find out.
12:40One.
12:42Two.
12:43Three.
12:44Four.
12:46Five.
12:47Six.
12:48Fucking seven.
12:49Morty, we're cured.
12:50He did it.
12:51He can walk forward.
12:56Oh, I'm running around.
12:59We'll let him down.
13:10Hey, Lou.
13:12Lou Sin.
13:16Look who's walking forward now.
13:18How is it that you live?
13:20Science.
13:21I have dissected the exploding heart technique and reverse engineered all of martial arts.
13:25The pre-programmed nanobots coursing through our veins have given Morty and I kung fu power.
13:30My martial arts gathers and meds be pentadai.
13:34Morty, you suck.
13:35He came for me.
13:36Let the ass-whooping begin.
13:50I'll put the fuck parts.
13:56First, I will give you whites a taste of hell.
13:59And then you will apologize for bending my fender.
14:03You want an apology?
14:04Come get it.
14:11We're back in touch!
14:15Gross!
14:16We're taking gross ones!
14:18So hot!
14:19So hot!
14:22So hot!
14:26Too hot!
14:27I need a milk.
14:28What?
14:31Maximum over-dried parts!
14:36No!
14:38No!
14:39No!
14:39No!
14:39No!
14:40No!
14:40No!
14:41No!
14:42No!
14:43No!
14:45No!
14:46No!
14:54Oh, that's better.
14:59How many?
15:05What am I doing here?
15:07And which bet is the clone?
15:08Control C punch!
15:10Now I remember.
15:11This guy sucks.
15:12Butt-suit punch!
15:15Reverse arsenal punch!
15:21Reverse, reverse punch!
15:22I know you are, but what am I punch?
15:23I'm rubber, you're glue punch!
15:37Unrepentant talks!
15:38You have disrespected the power of the punch.
15:42The fuck is this guy?
15:43It is a punchy, the ancient demon god of hitting things,
15:46and the sweet drinks!
15:48We be doomed!
15:50Okay, we should be safe in here.
15:52She can't move out of the pool.
15:54She?
15:54My robotic pool cleaner.
15:56I upgraded her with shady software, then we had sex.
15:59I think she's jealous and wants to kill you because she loves me.
16:03Mondays, right?
16:03Don't get mad.
16:04Hmm.
16:13Tap, incomplete.
16:15Tap, incomplete.
16:21Tap, incomplete.
16:23Tap, incomplete.
16:26Tap, incomplete.
16:39huh the house went into lockdown for no reason is that bad you hear that sounds like water running
16:48Gerd did say abusing the punch would bring great fury down on us
16:51Kung Fu is not about violence now you will be punished by my champion kicking your ass
17:07it is a punchenheimer the beast with a million pressure points it is impossible to strike all
17:14of them how are we supposed to hit them all Rick this is my fault earlier today and the
17:21Trader Joe's parking lot I backed into your spaceship on purpose what I am a lonely old
17:27man the only way I know how to connect with people is through conflict can you relate to that
17:35no
17:36punchenheimer's on top of us what are we gonna do
17:39I wish I had finished my training at Tiger's Nest
17:42Kurt Jurgens was teaching me the ultimate move
17:45a splatter bolt kick a rapid fire attack stronger than any punch
17:49at last I do not have the knowledge to complete it
17:52Rick does he gathered all Kung Fu data when he dissected the exploding heart technique
17:57it'll take a bit of field surgery I am willing to endure whatever it takes to reset the balance lie
18:03down
18:03I'll try to keep the rubble out of your chest
18:07hell hell hell oh no she's found a way in the pool bot is flooding the house to kill you
18:13Keith we
18:14gotta swim upstairs before it's too late I can't swim what you clean both my deepest shame this is a
18:20total nightmare for me
18:22kill kill kill kill kill
18:29stay here it's my pool and my problem I'm the man of the house
18:36kill kill kill
18:37oh no wait I'm sorry that other pool cleaner means nothing to me baby nothing you gots to believe you're
18:45my one and only
18:47task incomplete
18:49our task is incomplete and I'm gonna fix that set an appointment for pool bot sexy time starting now
18:58clean
18:59oh baby now I'm lost
19:03in your secret love
19:30all right Jerry we need to talk about this pool
19:33oh wow the pool looks great Keith
19:36uh yeah nice job buddy
19:38sure yeah all it needed was a little elbow grease
19:41and Mr. Smith said he'll pay me
19:43three times my usual rate
19:46I never said
19:48oh you better pay up
19:49or I'll tell her you fucked the pool bot
19:52guys I'm only three feet away I can hear everything
19:54Jerry you fucked a what now
19:56um
19:56the pool bot it started cleaning my nipples and you know that's that's one of my go-to's so
20:03I started eating out
20:05I don't care what you do with the appliances Jerry my hairdryer makes me come like a wildcat
20:11hold it Kletchenheimer
20:13pack your bags asshole
20:14we're here to send you back to hell
20:16get ready to feel kung fu
20:18combined with fire
20:25let's fight one last time together
20:28oh yeah baby
20:36splatterboard kill
20:49wasn't that refreshing
20:51you three have learned the value of non-violence
20:56all is forgiven
21:01well ambushed
21:06almost done
21:07all finished
21:08what do you think sir
21:09it's ready
21:10come and get it
21:13wow
21:14damn son
21:15our pool is amazing
21:17you're the best dad ever
21:19yeah who needs food for us when we got dad's pool
21:22I just want to make you all happy
21:24you did Jerry
21:25you really did
21:26yes
21:31oh my god I'm in a party
21:36pool season baby
21:37yeah
21:38the Smith family has a pool
21:39one taste of you
21:42I knew I had to have more
21:46your sweet temper
21:48it brought me to my knees
21:51oh baby now I'm lost
21:56in your secret love
21:59you pulled me down
22:02when no one can find us
22:06my lover in the darkest part of night
22:09they'll never pull me from your heart
22:15beth we talked about this
22:17okay I forgot
22:21thank you
22:25it's not the same
22:26yeah I know
22:30did you get any of that
22:31yeah I know
22:33yeah
22:34yeah
22:35I know
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