How to Follow Jesus When Faith Feels Confusing

Douglas Vandergraph

How to follow Jesus can feel confusing when you are standing at the edge of faith and wondering what the first step is supposed to look like.  Some people are not rejecting Jesus. They are overwhelmed by everything around Him. They do not know how to pray. They do not know where to read in the Bible. They do not know what church is supposed to feel like. They do not know if God will receive them with all the mistakes, questions, fears, and wounds they carry.  This message is a gentle reminder that Jesus does not ask you to become someone fake before you come close.  The beginning can be honest.  You can say, “Jesus, I need help.”  You can say, “Jesus, I do not understand everything.”  You can say, “Jesus, I want to follow You, but I do not know how.”  That is not a weak beginning. That is a real one.  Douglas Vandergraph speaks to the person who feels spiritually unsure but still hungry for hope. This is Christian encouragement for ordinary life, for anxious minds, for tired hearts, for people who want a relationship with Jesus but do not want to build it on pressure, fear, or appearance.  Start by looking at Jesus in the Gospels. Watch how He speaks to the hurting. Watch how He forgives. Watch how He calls people forward. Watch how He tells the truth without abandoning mercy.  Faith does not have to begin with having every answer.  It can begin with turning your heart toward Jesus today.  Hashtags:  #HowToFollowJesus #FaithEncouragement #JesusChrist #ChristianEncouragement #Prayer #HopeInJesus #FaithJourney

Transcript

00:01You know, it's interesting. We talk about this YouTube channel with pretty much everybody I meet.

00:06There are more Christians out there than you realize. I mean, they're everywhere.

00:10And it's nice to have conversations with people. And people always ask, how did this all start?

00:18Well, it started with me being an atheist. You know, I wasn't a follower of Christ for the most

00:24of my life. I grew up in the Catholic Church, but I believe that the affiliation that I had with

00:30the

00:30Catholic Church pushed me away from Christ altogether and made me an atheist. I'm not a

00:36Catholic today, and I never will be again. I don't want to discuss that today, though. What I do want

00:42to discuss is, where do we even begin? You know, with this channel, the first 900 videos are what

00:50my family laughingly refers to as Doug Zero. I used to teach people about success. You'll notice

00:58all these success books behind me. Well, I would teach people in a motivational way how to have

01:05more success in their life, how to make more money, how to be a better husband, how to be a

01:10better

01:10father. And that's all I talked about. And I did 900 videos. All of those videos are still here on

01:17this channel. Then one day somebody said to me, Doug, you're really good at breaking down all these

01:23books. And I was breaking them down at an eighth grade level, chapter by chapter. But they said,

01:30can you do the same thing with the New Testament of the Holy Bible so that I can better understand

01:36it?

01:37And I said, oh no, I'm an atheist. I don't believe in God. When you understand why you don't believe

01:43in

01:43Zeus, you'll understand why I don't believe in Jesus. And I had all the atheist arguments. I'd

01:50watched that show down in Austin, Texas. It's called The Atheist Experience. Cool show. Lots of nice

01:57information. But I was just interested. And I think I've always kind of been interested in being a

02:04Christian. I think it's just religion that's pushed me away from that in the past. But I kept going.

02:11And so did people with their jabs. Oh, you can't do the New Testament. You will never get it.

02:20You couldn't understand it anyway, Doug. So you'll notice on this channel, there's the 260 video

02:27playlist. I did one 10 to 15 minute video explaining at the eighth grade level, each chapter of the New

02:36Testament of the Holy Bible. And when I got done doing those 260 videos, everybody noticed except

02:44for me that I had changed. And you'll notice the structure of my video approach changed as well.

02:52I do one video for the New Testament. And then I do a success video. I do two, three, four,

02:59five,

02:59six, six, seven success videos. Heck, I think one day I did 19 videos. And that's the most videos I

03:06ever did in one day. And slowly things started to change. Then I would do a New Testament video for

03:14the day. And then I do a Christ focused video, maybe something that people were missing in the

03:21New Testament. I would go through the New Testament and identify places where people might overlook

03:27specific things. I want you to think about this example. I'll give you an example of what I'm

03:32talking about. And these videos are scattered all over on this channel, videos like this, pointing

03:38out things that people for the most part overlook. When Jesus met the Samaritan woman at the well,

03:49he walked up to her and asked her for a drink of water. She said, you can get it yourself.

03:54He said,

03:54if you knew who I am, you, you would be asking me for water because the water I give is

04:01living water.

04:02And then he goes on and tells her about all the things that she's done wrong and all the men

04:07she's

04:08had and all of her adulterous ways. And it blows this woman away. And she's like, you just told me

04:14everything. How did you know this? And she gets so excited about the interaction that she says,

04:22I'm going to go back to town and I'm going to tell everyone about you. I'm going to tell everyone

04:27that you told me what I have done. You knew. You know what happened in that moment? Most people just

04:36see an adulterous woman receive redemption and run back to a town to tell people something right then

04:44and there. And the very first preacher had become. And the very first preacher in history

04:52was a woman, as documented in the Holy Bible. So if there were any priests or preachers that were

05:00non-female before her, that's fine. But she was the first female preacher that we know about.

05:06And she was also the first Christian preacher. Because Jesus had not yet sent his disciples out

05:13onto the world to preach the good news. So the first was a woman. You go, girl. And, you know,

05:22things like that. That's what we talk about. And so slowly, things became 100% Christ-focused. I

05:30stopped doing the daily motivational videos and just started doing Christ-focused videos. And we

05:37went from 365,000 subscribers to 600,000 subscribers on this channel. Like that. We were getting about

05:4628,000 new Christians subscribing every single month. It was amazing. The thing was out of control.

05:53Still is. But now we have a little, we have a little bit more organization around it. You're not

05:59always ready when Christ is ready for you. Sometimes God does things on his timing. And when

06:05it rains, it pours. And boy, you're just not ready for it. And I didn't know what to do. All

06:11of a sudden,

06:11I have millions of eyes on everything that I'm doing. And I started writing as well at that time.

06:18And if you put my name in Google, you're going to find thousands of stories and articles that are

06:24Christian-focused that I have written and put out there in the digital world. And I write every

06:32single day still. For years, I've been writing every day. So you're going to find a lot of good

06:38news out there. A lot of cool stories and a lot of focused items that revolve around Christ and his

06:45teachings. And I think you're just going to love that. But if you don't currently follow Christ,

06:51you may ask yourself, where do I even begin? Now, in my case, the transition was completely out of

07:02control, out of my control. I was not looking to become a Christian. God made me a Christian. He

07:08just put things in my path and began using me. And I mean, I want to say he began using

07:15me without my

07:16permission. But initially, that's kind of what it was. My focus for this channel was something

07:22completely different. And I didn't have any intention of becoming the voice of Christianity

07:29on YouTube. I was just trying to teach people how to make more money and be a nicer husband and

07:36a better father. That's what I cared about. And Christ showed me that he cared about me.

07:42And he changed my focus. And slowly, the videos started to migrate toward his word. Not intentionally,

07:52it just happened. I can't even tell you, I would be upstairs in the morning, I have a notepad,

07:59and I would have ideas for videos. And that's what I was going to do for the day. I was

08:03only doing the

08:04one New Testament video. And then all the other videos I was doing were, and ideas that I had were,

08:12focused around success and teaching people the values and the things that I was learning from

08:18the self-help books I was reading. And things started changing. And I didn't have anything to

08:25do with that. But God started changing me. And he said, Hey, look, you're not doing this anymore.

08:30You're going to do what I want you to do, which is this. You know, I think God might might

08:36have said,

08:36and I'm just thinking he might've said this. He doesn't actually speak to me. I'm not crazy,

08:41but he does speak to me in certain ways. And the feeling that I get is that he gave me

08:49a 365,000

08:52subscriber YouTube channel, a tremendous voice in the world. I mean, that's a huge platform to be

09:01speaking from. And he said, you know what? I want you to use this megaphone that I've helped you build

09:10to share my word and to, to share stories and use the gifts that I've given you in a way

09:18that's

09:19going to allow me to reach more people. And it's just kind of cool. You know, there's nothing special

09:24about me. I'm not anybody that would normally be picked. I'm like anybody else in the Bible that

09:30God picked questioning, why did you pick me? You ever notice that all the people in the Bible that

09:38God helped or chose, they would always ask, why did you choose me? I'm not worthy. I'm not the one.

09:45There's so many other better people out there you could pick. You know, I was the longest clinically

09:50documented death case in America, but I'm a brain damaged, handicapped guy. I'm partially paralyzed

09:59on the left side of my body. I got a lazy eye. I'm bald headed. I got to tell you,

10:03there's a lot of,

10:04there's a lot of not so good things about me. I'm not the perfect guy that you would think God

10:11would

10:12pick and give this kind of voice to. Because anytime you look online or you hear somebody talking about

10:18Jesus, they've got a silk suit on and gold rings and slicked back hair and a fan, they're a fantastic

10:26speaker. And I always thought that's so fake, but you know what millions of people, that's what they

10:33migrate to. And I just never understood that. You know, why not have a little realism in your life,

10:40some real realism where you hear the words of Christ without needing a fancy facade or some fancy

10:48clothes. I wear band t-shirts every day on this. Cause I'm a real guy. I show up as I

10:54really am.

10:55I'm not trying to be anything. I'm not, I'm not saying that I'm special in God's eyes, but I think

11:01we all

11:01are. And for some reason he picked me. And I want to get back to where do you begin? How

11:09do you begin

11:10following Christ if, if you don't now? Well, in my opinion, absent of starting a YouTube channel and

11:20building a platform and allowing God to begin to utilize it in his own special way, I believe you

11:26just begin with Jesus himself, not with trying to look religious or trying to impress people and not

11:35trying to act like you have everything figured out because you know what? It's tough. Faith is tough.

11:43It's not easy. And to follow Christ is, is not easy. You know, it's easier to not follow Christ than

11:51it

11:52is to follow him. But you know what? Jesus asks a lot of people who follow him. He asks nothing

12:01of people

12:02who don't. Think about that. So you start with Jesus and Jesus, he never told broken people to

12:11fix themselves before they came to him. He did not tell tired people to become strong first.

12:18And he didn't tell sinners to clean up every part of their life before they could speak to him.

12:24You know what he said? He said, come to me. And that means you can come honestly, tired,

12:31confused, ashamed. You know what? Come with questions and come with doubts and express those

12:40doubts to the Lord. Tell him, Hey, look, I'm, I have doubts about this whole thing. And maybe you have

12:48doubts about Jesus himself. I have doubts. I don't believe that you really existed or whatever it might

12:54be. Bring everything to him and let God handle it and watch the answers come. You know, when I first

13:01started doing this, uh, this channel from a Christian standpoint, it was, we would have the weirdest

13:08experiences. There were people I'd never met before just coming up to me randomly and beginning to talk

13:15to me about Christianity and about Jesus. These are people I'd never met before. And I never had these

13:22experiences ever, but I had a lot of questions and people were just showing up out of the blue and

13:28answering these questions that I had. Nobody in my family can explain it. I, they were all there and

13:34they all witnessed it. And it's a hundred percent true, but people that I had never met before were

13:40just coming out of the woodwork and talking to me. And, and the conversation that we would have

13:46would be directly related to a question that I had, that I had presented to Christ. I don't believe

13:51in this, or I don't understand this, or why this? And the answers would just start coming in the,

13:58in, I'm going to say in the strangest ways, because it was strange. You can come with your questions and

14:05your doubts. You know what? If your life is messy, that's okay. You don't have to pretend with Jesus.

14:12And that may be one of the first things to understand. You can tell him the truth. You can

14:20say things like, I don't believe this, or Jesus, I don't understand this. I'm tired. I'm afraid.

14:28I don't know how to pray. I made mistakes. And I've made a lot of mistakes too. That's a great

14:35one for

14:36Christ. I want to believe, but I need help. And I used to say that all the time because I

14:44didn't

14:44believe, but I wanted to. And that changed. It's amazing. I can't even explain why or how, or I didn't

14:52do anything to make it change, but it did. And it was just because I asked. It's crazy. And you

15:00know,

15:00it's not weak. It's something that I believe God really, really, really appreciates. And that's

15:06honesty. And honesty is a much better starting place than pretending to be religious. Some people

15:15think prayer has to sound fancy. It does not. Prayer is talking to God. And it can be simple.

15:23It can even be quiet. It can be as simple as one sentence. It can happen in a car.

15:30At work, in bed, outside, or while you're sitting alone with a heavy heart. And you know what? You

15:37don't have to start by going to church. I'm going to tell you a story. The thief on the cross

15:44who was

15:45being crucified next to Christ. He wasn't religious. He didn't go to church. He didn't request forgiveness

15:54for his sins. He just turned to Christ. And he said, remember me when you're, when you, when you go

16:02to

16:03heaven. And Jesus turned to him and said, truly, I promise you today, you will be with me in paradise.

16:12Now that throws all the religious rules out the window. Religion teaches you, oh, you need a man to

16:18stand over you and give you penance and forgive your sins. All that. Christ showed time and time

16:26again, his compassion and God's grace do not come to you through the hands of man. It comes to you

16:35directly from God. And you see, you don't have to use perfect words with Christ. You just have to talk

16:45to him. That's it. Just like the thief on the cross, Lord, I want to be with you. And that's

16:52all you have

16:53to say. And you'll be with him. And more importantly, he'll be with you. And your life will change and

17:01things in your life will get so much better, so much better than it is right now. You know, I've

17:08had

17:09success, money. I can have anything I want. But my life today, outside of all of those luxuries,

17:17is so much better. And I can't explain it. The only thing that's changed is that Christ has come into

17:25my life. You know what? When he came into my life, a lot of people who were in my life

17:30went out of my

17:31life. And I now see why they're not here anymore. Because everybody is not meant to walk with you.

17:39When you are walking with Christ. And that's 100% okay. You'll notice things change in your life.

17:45It'll be amazing. You won't believe it. It'll blow you away. I can't even express all the changes that

17:51have occurred in my life since I became a believer. But it's been truly amazing.

17:59And one thing I notice is that a lot of what I'm learning about Christ as I go through the

18:05New

18:05Testament quite often, is what religion says about him is not always who he actually is.

18:16I see religions asking people to do a lot of things that Christ never taught.

18:21So what I recommend is go look for him yourself. Start reading one of the Gospels in the Bible,

18:30Matthew, Mark, Luke, or John. Go watch the videos here on this channel. I'm not trying to promote the

18:37YouTube channel, but I do have a playlist and a video for every single chapter in the New Testament.

18:47So these books that I'm talking about here, Matthew, Mark, Luke, or John,

18:52John, these books show the life, the words, the actions, the death, and the resurrection of Jesus.

19:01You know what? Don't rush through them. Read them slowly. And some things I want you to pay

19:08attention to while you're reading the New Testament, I want you to watch how Jesus treats people.

19:15Watch how he speaks to the hurting. Watch how he responds to people who are ashamed.

19:22Watch how he treats people others pushed away. Watch how he deals with proud religious people.

19:30Pay attention to that. Watch how he forgives. Watch how he always tells the truth.

19:38And the one thing I love watching about Christ is how he loves. You know, many people have rejected

19:45religion, but they have never really looked closely at Jesus. They seem to have anger.

19:54They seem to have pressure. They seem to maybe suffer from church hurt or hypocrisy.

20:05But you know what? I've seen people use God's name in a harsh way, and that's why I say religion

20:11is not

20:12the place to start, because Jesus himself is actually different. He's full of truth, but he's also full of

20:20mercy. He does not ignore sin, but he does not crush people who are already broken. Jesus calls people out

20:30of

20:30darkness, and he does it because he loves them. So do not start by trying to become religious. You know,

20:41the place to find Christ is not always in a church. Start by looking at Jesus himself. Pick up the

20:48user manual.

20:50It's called the New Testament. Read it more than once. Understand how the mechanics work.

20:57Understand who Jesus really is. And then take one small step of trust. Because following Jesus is not just

21:08believing he exists. It's learning to trust him with your life. So take that step. And it doesn't mean

21:17you'll understand everything right away, because you won't. Hell, heck, I don't... I can't believe I just said

21:25that. My apologies. But it doesn't mean you're going to understand everything right away. I didn't

21:32understand everything right away, and I still obviously make mistakes. But you know what? The

21:39first disciples, they didn't understand everything either. Notice how they always have questions,

21:45because it's not easy to follow Christ. But they followed him while they were still learning.

21:53They had questions, fears. They made mistakes. They failed. They misunderstood things. And

22:01Jesus just kept working with them. And that should give every person hope. Because you don't have to be

22:08perfect to start following Christ. You just have to be willing to start. And when Jesus begins to work

22:16in your life, he will begin changing things. I want you to be ready for that, because he will. And

22:24he may

22:25begin touching anger, bitterness, pride, fear, your secret habits, your shame, relationships,

22:34your choices, your way of thinking. These will all begin to change. And it's going to blow you away.

22:42You're going to love it. You're going to be like, why wasn't I living this way before? What was I

22:47even

22:47thinking? Because Christ brings freedom. He brings healing and forgiveness and a completely new way of

22:57life. But remember this. Change is part of the journey, but it's not a requirement before the journey

23:05starts. You come to Jesus as you are. Then you let him change you as you walk with him. And

23:14that's

23:15important because many people say, I need to get my life together. But you know what? You don't have to

23:25get your

23:26life together before you come to God. You come to Jesus because you cannot fully get your life together

23:33without him. You bring him the real you. The tired you. The confused you. The guilty you. The broken you.

23:43The searching you. And then you keep coming back every single day. Because following Jesus is not one

23:53emotional moment and then everything is easy. It's not just one day a week. It's a daily direction.

24:02Some days you're going to feel close to God. And you know what? Some days you may feel nothing.

24:09Some days prayer is going to feel natural.

24:14And some days it's going to feel hard. Some days you're going to feel strong. And some days you're

24:20going to fall back into old ways. And when that happens, do not run away from Jesus.

24:28Just keep coming back.

24:31That is part of following him. You will fall. And then you need to get up and come back.

24:40You may struggle. But come back. You may get confused. But come back. You may on some days feel weak.

24:50But come back. But come back. You see, faith grows as you keep returning to Jesus.

24:57You also need people around you. And I want you to think about that. Because

25:03as your relationships change, as you become a follower of Christ, you're going to find that

25:10the people around you are no longer the fake people. And they're not the perfect people either.

25:17And they're not people that will make you feel like you have to hide anything.

25:23These will be honest people who are also trying to follow Jesus.

25:30And you need people who can pray with you, encourage you, help you, and remind you of the

25:36truth when life gets heavy. And for some, I understand, church does matter.

25:42You know what? Christian community matters. But the goal is not to become religious for

25:49appearances. The goal is to just follow Jesus with other people who love him.

25:56And you know what? A healthy church should help you move closer to Jesus if you decide to go to

26:03church. But I want you to remember this. Church should not replace Jesus.

26:12It should not make you feel like God only loves you when you look perfect. It should point you back

26:19to

26:19grace, truth, forgiveness, and a new life. Not a bunch of internal rituals and ladders that you need

26:29to climb to reach God. Because you know what? That's not right. When Christ died on the cross,

26:36the veil, the veil tore. And when the veil tore, we no longer needed priests to come between us and

26:44Christ. The Old Testament, priests stood between God and humans. After Christ came and died on the

26:51cross, no one stands between us and God. And that's important to remember. Because there's a lot of

26:59religions out there that are still using priests and keeping people tied back in that Old Testament

27:06way of thinking. Well, you know what? There's a new guy in town. He has his own book. It's called

27:13The New Testament. And it changed everything. Do not let people's failure keep you from the Savior.

27:23Because people will try to misrepresent him, maybe knowingly or unknowingly. Most of the Christians

27:30I know never picked up a Bible in their life, for the most part. Don't know anything about the New

27:36Testament. They only know what their friends told them or what some guy standing on a stage in front

27:42of them, above them, told them. Go find out for yourself. The book's free online. Read the New

27:50Testament. Read the rule book. Figure it out. See who Christ actually was. It'll change your life.

27:59Because people can make faith feel heavy and cold. But you know what? Jesus is still Jesus.

28:06He's gentle with the broken, patient with the confused, merciful to sinners. And he's still calling

28:13people like you to come home. So where do you start? Well, start with one honest prayer. Start

28:24with reading about Jesus. Start with telling him the truth. Start with asking him to help you. And for me,

28:32that's the most important one. You know what? Asking Christ to help you is one step of obedience.

28:39And keep coming back when you fail. Start with Jesus, not religion. Because religion without Jesus

28:49is just pressure. Religion without Jesus just becomes performance. Religion without Jesus

28:57becomes fear. And religion without Jesus, in my opinion, is just pretending. Because Jesus brings life,

29:07mercy, mercy, truth, forgiveness, and hope. And Jesus brings you back to God. So maybe today it does not need

29:17to

29:17be complicated. Maybe today you do not need to have every answer. Maybe today you don't need to fix

29:25everything all at once. Maybe today you just need to turn your heart toward Jesus and say,

29:32Jesus, I don't know where to start. But I want to follow you. Help me begin.

29:42My name is Douglas Vandegraaff, and I believe in Jesus Christ. God bless every single one of you.

29:51Every single one.

29:55Bye-bye.

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