- 2 days ago
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TVTranscript
00:01Friends are like stars.
00:04Even when you can't see them, you know they're still there.
00:08And Mike's star will continue to shine
00:12for all of us. Goodbye, Mike.
00:28Do you think we're meant to go off?
00:36I think we're meant to. Do we have to?
00:38Yeah.
01:05Do you think April needs saving?
01:07I talked to that man in the foyer,
01:09and he was very very boring.
01:10Yeah, I'm probably.
01:12When I die, I don't want any of this truth bullshit.
01:16I only want superlatives.
01:17He was a risk-taker.
01:19Always the coolest guy in the room.
01:22He was generous to a fault.
01:23You will need to say that one, probably,
01:25because no one will actually think that.
01:27You aren't going to die, and you're my best friend ever.
01:29And if there was a flood,
01:31I would husk out my own mother's body
01:35and use it as a canoe to get you to safety.
01:38I appreciate that.
01:40To Mike!
01:43To Mike!
01:44To Mike!
01:45To Mike!
01:46To Mike!
01:48We are young.
01:50We are clean.
01:52Keep our tape nice and clean.
01:55See our friends.
01:56See the sights.
01:58Feel all right.
02:01One, two, three!
02:08We are young.
02:10We are young.
02:10We are young.
02:12We are young.
02:13We're young.
02:14We are young.
02:15Oh.
02:15Sorry.
02:16Our friend died.
02:17Sorry.
02:21Don't wait, Daniel.
02:24You two, stay down here.
02:27I'll get it.
02:29And come down.
02:30Okay.
02:30All right.
02:50What are you doing?
03:12I thought you were a ghost.
03:14Did you think being in a crouch position would help you with that?
03:16Yeah, I do find it sometimes helps.
03:19Very useful against ghosts.
03:21I didn't know you were living here again.
03:24I'm not.
03:24I just spoke up with Yanis.
03:26Oh.
03:28Who's Yanis?
03:30He is my ex.
03:31I'm doing my masters with him.
03:34I'm sorry.
03:35It's fine.
03:36He had the mean gene.
03:38Oh, well, fuck him then.
03:40Aw.
03:41When did you get a dog?
03:43Hey.
03:43It's Nancy's dog.
03:44So cute.
03:45How is Nancy?
03:48She's thriving, I would say, since we divorced four years ago.
03:52Still walking her dog?
03:54Yeah.
03:54Well, I miss the dog more than I miss Nancy.
03:58Sorry, Mum didn't say you got a divorce.
04:01So you're with anyone now?
04:03No.
04:04No.
04:05Why is that?
04:06I like to think it's because women are intimidated by my boyish good looks.
04:10But it's probably more to do with the fact that I find it hard to commit emotionally.
04:15And, um, I also use humour as a shield.
04:20Uh-oh.
04:21And, uh, apparently I can be quite selfish and that comes from two different people.
04:27So there's something I'm working on.
04:29A lot of reasons.
04:30Yeah.
04:31Many reasons.
04:33Are you sure you want to do that last time you got very anxious?
04:37I'll be fine.
04:39It won't be a big one.
04:43Steve's...
04:43He's, like, really upset.
04:45I just feel like I should be there for him.
04:49You're such a good friend.
04:51I know, right?
04:54And you're the best horse friend.
05:00Maybe if we wake up early, we can have sex in the morning.
05:06Maybe.
05:07Sounds good.
05:21Love you.
05:22Love you.
05:25Oh!
05:26Al!
05:26Could you close the door, please?
05:32What are you doing, Al?
05:34I'm getting a glass of water.
05:35You woke me up.
05:37Oh!
05:38Look at you!
05:39And you're...
05:39And you're sweet.
05:41Mum!
05:43No, no, no.
05:44Sorry.
05:45Sorry.
05:45Go back to bed.
05:46You've got to school tomorrow.
05:47Oh!
05:48Love you.
05:49If you don't only want one match, Bella, then you can...
05:51Found it!
05:54Found what?
05:56What are you doing here?
05:57What's happened?
05:59Uh, Yanis and I broke up.
06:02Yeah, I'm fine.
06:03I feel absolutely no urge to rip his head off and shit in his neck.
06:07Oh, great.
06:09I've decided he has borderline personality disorder.
06:12Sounds right.
06:13So, would it be okay if I moved back in?
06:16Just for a couple of weeks?
06:17Of course!
06:18Yay!
06:18I mean, not, you know, not yay, but yay.
06:24That's...
06:28So, um, we were just about to go back to this thing, um, for Mike.
06:33A bunch of us, um, you know, telling stories about him and...
06:37But we totally...
06:38I mean, we don't have to go out if you'd like me to stay and keep you company.
06:44Yeah, I'd love for you to stay.
06:49I'm joking.
06:50I'm 26.
06:51I'll be fine.
06:52Okay.
06:53If you're sure.
06:54Yes, I'm sure.
06:55Yeah.
06:57Have fun.
07:04How old is this kid?
07:06Uh, I don't know.
07:07I think you had the same bag in 2005.
07:10I'm gonna wait.
07:11For what?
07:13Oh, my God.
07:15Are you waiting to see if I die from the off coke?
07:19Yeah.
07:23I'll miss you.
07:25Our friend died.
07:27He was in his 50s.
07:28Do you think that's old?
07:30We used to go out with each other.
07:32Long time ago.
07:33We've known each other for over 30 years.
07:35We were at the hacienda.
07:36She was on the podium giving her the...
07:39Oh, look.
07:42These people you're standing with might be your best friends to your 50s.
07:47How old do you think we are?
07:49I don't know, like 60.
07:51Fuck you!
07:5260?
07:53We don't look 60.
07:54We don't look 60.
07:55We don't look 60.
07:56They have no idea how cool we are.
07:59I'm a clothes designer.
08:01He invented the Nicole Richie Bob.
08:03He's Steve Wilde.
08:05Steve, Steve Wilde!
08:06You know the Wilde volumiser?
08:08You think you're gonna be cool when you're older.
08:11Most of you won't be.
08:12Won't be, won't be, might be, won't be, won't be.
08:16Won't be.
08:17Might be, won't be, will be.
08:19Are there any good jobs where people stand the whole time?
08:23The doctor.
08:23Yes.
08:23Doctors stand.
08:24Yes.
08:24Poor traitors.
08:25Yes.
08:26Maybe I'll cut people's hair on a stool.
08:27No one's ever gonna remember my unicorn.
08:29Not a manly job, son.
08:30Your dad is an arsehole.
08:35I wish I was in love.
08:37I wish I was in love and, and had a baby.
08:42Just have a, you could have a baby.
08:45Men can have babies till they're 90.
08:48Just have a baby.
08:49With who?
08:50There are billions of people out there, Steve.
08:53It's impossible that you won't meet one you like.
08:56Anybody would be lucky to have you.
08:58Women our age can't have babies, so there you go.
09:01No baby for Steve.
09:03So get a younger one.
09:04I don't want a young, a younger one.
09:05Why not?
09:06Younger women are just older women, but younger.
09:10Oh no, no, no, don't Alice.
09:12No, don't.
09:13I'm not in the mood.
09:14No, I am.
09:15I'm not.
09:16I'm, I'm gonna find you someone to love.
09:19You deserve to be loved.
09:21No, I'm not even sure that I do.
09:24No, Alice don't.
09:25Please don't.
09:26Alice don't.
09:35Sorry to bother you.
09:37Do you have a boyfriend?
09:39Um, no, but I'm straight.
09:42Yeah, yeah, yeah.
09:42Me too.
09:43Um, my friend over there, he's quite shy, but he's the best person in the world and he's
09:49famous.
09:50Cuts like everybody's hair.
09:51He's done, um, Emily Blunt, Billie Eilish.
09:54Uh, invented the Shaggy Bob, you know, the Nicole Richie one.
09:58Uh, and he's also the sweetest, kindest man, like, ever.
10:04Mm-hmm.
10:05And he's got money.
10:06And I wondered if you wanted to talk to him.
10:14Okay.
10:15Really?
10:16Yeah.
10:16Okay!
10:18Yes!
10:19Yes!
10:21She wants to talk to you.
10:23No, I don't want to.
10:24No, she's too young.
10:25I can't.
10:26Why?
10:26I'm a 50-year-old man and that's when I'm rounding down.
10:30No young woman wants a 50-year-old man creeping up to her.
10:32They treat us like we're orcs.
10:35You are not an orc.
10:36I want you to go over there and woo the shit out of her.
10:40That's not a nice phrase.
10:41And kiss her and stay up all night with her.
10:45She'd be lucky to have you.
10:47Go on!
10:51Come on.
10:53Wait, wait, wait.
10:54Don't take Crosby.
10:55Memo little dogs look gay.
10:57Oh.
10:58I've done it.
10:59Look after Crosby.
11:04Hi, I'm Steve from over there.
11:06Hi, Camilla.
11:08Camilla.
11:08Hi.
11:09So you cut hair?
11:10Well, I'm a hair stylist.
11:13I style hair.
11:14Oh.
11:14I don't cut hair.
11:15I style hair with scissors.
11:17Sorry.
11:17I don't know what I'm doing.
11:18I don't know why I'm doing a voice.
11:19It's not my voice.
11:20This is my voice.
11:21Yeah, you have a nice voice.
11:22Oh, thank you.
11:23You too.
11:47Hello.
11:50How may I help you?
11:52Are you Izzy's mum?
11:58Yes.
11:59Yes.
12:00Yes.
12:00I am indeed.
12:02I'm Mawaan.
12:03I went to sixth form with her.
12:05You were always so hilarious, Mrs. Anderson.
12:08Oh, thanks.
12:10Oh, it's so sweet.
12:13It's lovely to see you again, Mawaan.
12:15Great to see you too.
12:26Do you know Willie Nelson?
12:28I've been learning Willie Nelson.
12:32Blue skies.
12:34Nice.
12:42What happened?
12:44We're nothing in common.
12:45How could you not know who the Bee Gees are?
12:48The Bee Gees?
12:51Where's Crosby?
12:55Crosby?
12:57Oh, good. Crosby's not.
12:59Come on, wake up little birdie.
13:01Wake up, boy.
13:02What's happened?
13:03What's he eating?
13:06It's fucking hell out of this.
13:08You did the course, do mouth to mouth!
13:10Come on, do it, mouth to mouth!
13:15Okay, tell me exactly what Crosby ingested.
13:24Pills for my heart. I have a heart condition.
13:26What pills?
13:29Can you tell me specifically?
13:33If I give Crosby the wrong medication, it could kill him.
13:35He ate cocaine.
13:36By accident.
13:37It may have been off.
13:42Bognor's a really pretty name.
13:47What if they arrest us?
13:50We could say it wasn't our coke.
13:52It was just on the floor.
13:54I would rather go to jail than Crosby dying.
14:02Dogs can't eat chocolate, onion, grapes or Class A drugs.
14:06You need to be more careful in future.
14:09I've given him some diazepam and there are a few extras here to give him if he gets distressed in
14:13the night.
14:16I'm so, so sorry.
14:18It's okay.
14:20It's fine.
14:20You can't have known that would happen.
14:23It is one of Crosby's eyes bigger than the other.
14:30Don't laugh.
14:31It's not funny.
14:32I know.
14:32I know.
14:34Have a look.
14:35No, it's the same.
14:37It's the same.
14:38I'm so sorry.
14:42It's okay, boy.
14:43It's okay.
14:45Maybe we should both have one of Crosby's diazepam's.
14:50I'm joking.
14:51Give them to me.
14:58You need anything else?
14:59No.
15:00Okay, well, I'll be up for ages, so if you need anything at all, even if Crosby's just upset, you
15:06just come and get me.
15:08Okay.
15:10Okay?
15:12I'm right here if you need me.
15:28Hello.
15:29Sorry.
15:30Fuck.
15:30You're scared.
15:32I didn't see you.
15:33Sorry.
15:33Sorry.
15:34Steve here, obviously.
15:35Yeah.
15:36Yeah, your mum said I could stay.
15:38It's been a bit of a big night.
15:40Why are you under the duvet like that?
15:42Uh, yeah.
15:43Fair question.
15:44Um, I...
15:47I noticed very briefly that you're not wearing trousers, so I, uh...
15:51Oh.
15:52So I thought this would be less awkward, but it was...
15:55Yeah.
15:56Yeah, maybe it isn't.
15:57Okay.
15:57Well, it's all right.
15:58Don't worry about it.
15:59I was just getting another drink.
16:01Do you want one?
16:03Yes, please.
16:12So, how bad was your day from one to ten?
16:16Ugh.
16:17Uh, it was a strong eight.
16:19What about yours?
16:20Uh, yeah.
16:22Yeah, eight seems about right.
16:27All right.
16:44So, why did Nancy break up with you?
16:46Oh, God.
16:48Um, okay, well...
16:50Yeah.
16:51Let's discuss this.
16:55Apparently, um...
16:56I didn't do anything, as in I only reacted.
16:59And also I was a lazy fucker.
17:02According to her.
17:03Her words, not mine.
17:04Now, what about you?
17:08Um...
17:08He said that I was too emotional.
17:12Mm-hmm.
17:12And that...
17:13That I said sorry and I love you too much.
17:16What a shit you are.
17:18I know.
17:19How could you do that to him?
17:20Yeah.
17:21And the sad thing is, I didn't even really mean it.
17:25Like, I was just pretending to be nice and hiding all my dark shit.
17:31Clever move.
17:32I do that too.
17:33Definitely want to hide that.
17:37What was the final thing that pushed him over?
17:41I think I was talking about my wedding.
17:45Oh.
17:45Were you...
17:46Were you guys engaged?
17:48No.
17:49No.
17:50Um...
17:50I didn't even imagine him being there.
17:52I was mostly just thinking about the dress and the hair.
17:54Who were you marrying?
17:55No, really, I was just thinking about the dress and the hair.
18:00Well, if...
18:01If you ever need a stylist.
18:02Free.
18:03Totally free.
18:10I can't believe you're single.
18:15If you'd seen me earlier tonight, you would absolutely believe I'm single and will always be single.
18:22I just, I hadn't noticed it before, but you are weirdly hot.
18:28Yeah.
18:32Not sure about the use of the word weirdly.
18:36Weirdly.
18:37Yeah.
18:39Maybe you have a weird smell.
18:41Probably.
18:41Apparently it's all about smells.
18:59Smell really nice.
19:01That's nice.
19:09Do I smell nice?
19:16Hmm.
19:44He never usually leaves this early.
19:50I can't bear it if he's angry with me.
19:52What?
19:52Why?
19:53Why would he be angry with you?
19:58I left my bag on the floor and Crosby ate something out of it.
20:04Oh.
20:05No.
20:06I don't think so.
20:07I saw Crosby last night.
20:08Seemed completely fine.
20:10And, er, Steve's probably just a bit rattled about Mike and the funeral and stuff.
20:15You all right?
20:17Of course you're right.
20:18Oh!
20:19Oh!
20:21Oh!
20:22Oh!
20:23Ah!
20:23I laugh at your home.
20:27Is it selfish that I'm so happy at your back?
20:29Yes.
20:30Yeah, you're right.
20:31It's horrible.
20:31I'm so sorry.
20:32Am I allowed to go and kill Yanis now?
20:35No.
20:37You do know I'd kill for you, don't you?
20:41I'd happily smoosh his smug little face.
20:46Ooh!
20:47Maybe that's Steve!
20:48Ooh!
20:54Oh.
20:56Hi.
20:58I'm Rome.
20:59Hi.
21:00Hi.
21:01Oh!
21:02You're Dom's Fred.
21:03Coming.
21:05Coming.
21:06My mum gets overly excited, so I'd stick to yes or no answers if I were you.
21:11And if she starts dancing, then look away.
21:20Rome, would you be angry with me if I'd almost killed your dog?
21:27Yes.
21:32I'm gonna call Steve.
21:44Hey, this is Steve Wilde. Please leave a message.
21:47Okay, call me.
21:49I'm worried that you were tired and you pulled a towel too hard from your linen closet and you've been
21:54crushed underneath it.
21:55Please don't hate me.
21:56Love you.
21:57Okay, bye.
21:59Hey, this is Steve Wilde. Please leave a message.
22:02Okay.
22:02It's been over two days and now I'm worried that you're dead.
22:05Can you just text me to say you're alive?
22:08Love you.
22:09I love you.
22:10Goodbye.
22:17Listen to me.
22:19Hey, wwhen I need my湯 room.
22:22You can trust me.
22:24I don't understand.
22:28You're lying, y'all.
22:30You know me?
22:32You don't know me.
22:36You can't trust me.
22:39I don't know
22:48Oh.
22:50Why are you not answering your phone?
22:54I know I shouldn't have come here,
22:56but I'm finding it surprisingly hard
22:58to stop thinking about you.
23:00I'm sorry. I should never have...
23:02Oh, don't apologise.
23:04I mean, that was...
23:05that was excellent sex, was it not?
23:09Did... did you like it?
23:12Yeah. Yeah.
23:13Very much. Okay.
23:16Very much. But as good as it was,
23:19we can...
23:20we can never do it again. No, yeah.
23:22You're probably right.
23:24You're right. Yeah.
23:27Good.
23:28Good. Yeah.
23:34It was really good, though. Oh, my God.
23:35It was so good. So good.
23:37Some of those things I had never, ever tried before.
23:40But we can't do that for Mum.
23:41No, no, no, no, no. I'm not saying we keep doing it.
23:45I was just replaying it in my head.
23:47A little bit. Because of Mum, right.
23:48But we can't do it because your Mum is my best friend.
23:51So we never tell her...
23:53Oh, no.
23:54Oh, no. No, no.
23:55No, definitely not.
23:57Yes. I mean, yes, no, we can't.
24:00We definitely can't tell her.
24:02Just out of interest, if I wasn't her daughter, would you have asked me out?
24:12Yeah.
24:15Okay.
24:17Okay.
24:19Where...
24:19Where would you have taken me?
24:21To eat food.
24:23I love eating food.
24:24Do you?
24:25We have so much in common.
24:26It's one of the things you would have experienced, but unfortunately you can't.
24:29Oh.
24:30So...
24:30Well, what's your favourite food?
24:32Italian.
24:32Spaghetti vongole.
24:33I love Spaghetti vongole.
24:35Really?
24:36Yes.
24:37Favourite song?
24:38You won't even know the song.
24:40You're too young.
24:41But it always makes me cry.
24:43Blue Skies.
24:44Willie Nelson.
24:46Blue skies shining at me.
24:50Nothing but blue skies do I see.
25:02Tell me something I won't like about you.
25:04Quick.
25:04I hate swimming.
25:05Well, I hate swimming too, so that's no good.
25:07I don't like football.
25:08I loathe it.
25:08I hate the cold.
25:09I don't like the cold either.
25:10You like the cold.
25:11It's too cold.
25:11I particularly like being too hot either.
25:14Ah.
25:14Well, I like the heat.
25:17So we're not compatible.
25:18Yeah, I know.
25:20That's good.
25:21That's good.
25:22That's good.
25:24I don't like the cold either.
25:29That someone's at the door.
25:33Are you sure?
25:35Yes.
25:38You should go up at the door.
25:40You should go up at the door.
25:41Go.
25:43Go.
25:44I'm going.
25:53I'm very cross with you.
25:55Now, let me in.
25:57Because I come bearing gifts.
26:02Um.
26:03Why don't we go for a walk?
26:05Leave this here and we'll go for a nice walk.
26:07What do you mean walk?
26:08No.
26:08No walk.
26:09Come on, fire up the telly.
26:10I've got clothes for Crosby.
26:11Wait till you see them.
26:14I've got treats for you both.
26:16Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
26:20No.
26:23What are you doing here?
26:27Are you trying to fix our fight?
26:31Oh, darling.
26:33Oh, that's so sweet.
26:35But we're fine, aren't we?
26:36We're fine.
26:37Mm.
26:38Mm-hmm.
26:39I slept with Steve.
26:46Sorry?
26:48We, um, we slept together the night that Steve stayed over at Oz.
26:54But it's not what you think.
26:57I like him.
26:58I actually really, really like him.
27:00And I think he might like me.
27:04And I know this must hurt, Mum.
27:05Um, I see that.
27:08But I want to keep seeing him.
27:15That's really funny.
27:19I am.
27:32Silver and sunshine, that's what our love is made of.
27:39So precious and bright, how wonderful is our love.
27:46Cherries and roses, that's what our hearts believe in.
27:53So sweet and so right, how wonderful is our love.
27:59In these dark and angry times, when other loves fall through.
28:06Safe inside each other's arms, our love is bright and new.
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