- 2 hours ago
Tip Toe S01E02
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:28Transcription by CastingWords
00:40CastingWords
01:00CastingWords
01:12CastingWords
01:16CastingWords
01:17CastingWords
01:30CastingWords
01:41CastingWords
02:23I'll have the pans on it.
02:38You watch inside?
02:42Is that a football question?
02:45Yes.
02:48No.
03:02So you got this place and the house?
03:03Yeah.
03:05A mortgage to death.
03:07You try making money at hospitality.
03:09The house is thanks to my parents.
03:11I sold theirs and bought number five.
03:13So they were rich?
03:14What?
03:14Do I look like Lord Struthers of Morningside?
03:17They just had a nice terrace house in Dundee.
03:20So I murdered them and got the money.
03:23Well, and then you got this place with Curtis.
03:25Yeah.
03:26That is my punishment.
03:28I'm buying them out and it's taking forever because it costs a fortune.
03:30He still gets 20% of the profits, which is kind of 20% of not very much, but still.
03:36That bastard.
03:38I'm seeing them tonight as a matter of fact.
03:42With his newly beloved.
03:45So this is the thing.
03:46Sometimes when you touch it, you get a shock.
03:50Oh, well, it's fine now.
03:52Typical.
03:53But when it zaps you, that fuse goes.
03:58This one, it trips.
03:59Is that the right word?
04:00Trips.
04:01I'm going to have to turn the power off.
04:02Well, I've got the office upstairs.
04:03I still need to work.
04:04Yeah, well, I can isolate that.
04:05When did you last get your condition report?
04:07Erm, November 25.
04:08We're up to date.
04:10So who did you test for you?
04:12Aspreys.
04:13Where they charge 500 quid just for a visit.
04:16Yeah, I don't trust them.
04:18Do you know where they get their staff from?
04:20Aruba.
04:21Do you know where that is?
04:22The Caribbean.
04:23Exactly.
04:24I'm not being racist.
04:26Well, a little bit.
04:29I mean, think about it.
04:31Aruba.
04:33Who owns that?
04:35The Netherlands.
04:37And in the Netherlands, the mains wiring is 230 volts.
04:41And in Aruba, it's 127 volts.
04:43So it's two different systems.
04:44It's like a fire trap.
04:45And why do they do that, eh?
04:47Have two different voltages.
04:50Tesla.
04:51What, what, Elon Musk?
04:53No.
04:53Nikolai Tesla.
04:55He was the man who invented ACDC.
04:57And when he died, the FBI took all his papers and they burnt them so no one could see them.
05:02And then Elon Musk named his company after him.
05:05It's no coincidence, is it?
05:08Meaning?
05:09Exactly.
05:10It's a mystery.
05:12When I was young, ACDC meant bisexual.
05:18Look, there's nothing wrong with this.
05:19But I need to get back here and strip everything away, alright?
05:22It's not going to cost.
05:23Well, it's all going to cost, isn't it?
05:25Well, you know, I'm not being rude, but you know what happens.
05:28You get an electrician in and they're like, oh, everything needs rewiring.
05:31And a job that was going to cost 100 quid ends up costing 10,000.
05:34Are you calling me a liar?
05:36No.
05:38Because the way people talk about work, man.
05:40Nobody else will put up with it.
05:41Imagine if I walked in here, eh, and got a pint and said,
05:44if you watered this down, you'd get right on your eye horse, wouldn't you?
05:49Do you water it down?
05:50No.
05:51Well, that's your first mistake, isn't it?
05:53Paying your ex 20%, I'd start diluting it, mate.
05:57Oh, you're here early.
05:59Oh, yeah, this is Clive, the electrician.
06:01Hi Clive, I'm Judy.
06:02Don't charge us a million quid, yeah?
06:08Ah, he's the one I told you about.
06:10Clive, from next door.
06:11I met his son online, and I mean online.
06:14He's 16.
06:15It said 18 bears bottom.
06:17So what did you do?
06:19Oh, I fucked him.
06:20Oh, Leo.
06:21Get off.
06:21He was mortifying.
06:22He said he was zero metres away.
06:24Zero.
06:25He must have seen me, though.
06:32You cheeky little bitch.
06:33But I will be the one to block him, thank you very much.
06:36It's my street, and I was gay before he was even a single spunk.
06:40Oh, my God, now I'm thinking about his father ejaculating.
06:42This is such a terrible day, and to top it all,
06:45I'm seeing Curtis tonight.
06:48Talking of tops.
06:49What for?
06:51We're being civilised.
06:54Could you not talk to him, though?
06:55The lad, what's his name?
06:56George, what were we talking about?
06:58Morning, Z.
06:58Morning.
06:58Z, boy next door, 16, looking for sex online, lying about his age.
07:03Should Leo not have a word?
07:04His dad's downstairs at the electrician.
07:05But his dad doesn't know he's gay, so do not say anything.
07:08How do you know he doesn't know?
07:09Because George is alive.
07:11That's a bit 1980s.
07:12You'd be surprised.
07:13Times are changing.
07:14Not with this family, trust me.
07:16You sit at home with a bad dad, and you're as closeted as ever.
07:18Why are you employing him, then?
07:20Could you just go and do some work, thank you?
07:22Are you mates with him?
07:23The boy?
07:24Why would I be mates with a 16-year-old?
07:26What would we even talk about?
07:28Bluey?
07:28No, I've hardly said two words to him.
07:30He's just like, oh no.
07:31Oh, I don't know.
07:32Best not then.
07:33Don't take his side.
07:34Yeah, but I can see what he means.
07:35It's a funny line to cross.
07:36So the kid goes online, hooks up, and gets murdered, and that's fine.
07:40Well, at least he wouldn't have died a virgin.
07:43Oh, power's back on.
07:44Hooray.
07:46It's weird, isn't it?
07:47How we know more about his son than he does.
07:50His wife said he had an affair.
07:52For real?
07:53In a caravan park.
07:55Wait.
07:55Jenny and Leon Gogglebox?
07:57Maybe it was Jenny.
08:01He can't hear us.
08:02He can't hear us down there, can he?
08:05Ah, of course not.
08:07Clive!
08:09Yeah!
08:14Nothing!
08:17I'll stop putting these back.
08:20Well, thanks, sir.
08:21Clive.
08:22Nice to meet you.
08:23I'm Z.
08:28What's that show for, then?
08:30It's not.
08:31I'm just Z.
08:32I'm dressed myself.
08:35How come?
08:37I just did.
08:38It's a placeholder, until I find the right name.
08:41I'm Hannah.
08:42My girlfriend chose it.
08:44She says it's Delica.
08:46How many of you are there?
08:49Morning, old.
08:49Okay, then.
08:51What have we got?
08:52No, no, it was straightforward.
08:54You just had a broken earth cable, so I just replaced it.
08:56It's done.
08:57What?
08:58What?
08:59No, no, you're just unlucky.
09:00Put in a new cable.
09:02All done.
09:02Oh, okay.
09:03Great.
09:04Well, that's good.
09:06But?
09:07Oh, I knew it.
09:08How much?
09:09No, it's just this here.
09:11I mean, look of it.
09:12You've got the whole thing running out of one socket.
09:15You've got your sound system, your lights, your mic.
09:17What else is plugged in here?
09:20A smoke machine.
09:21A bubble machine.
09:22A foil wheel.
09:23Well, look forward to the inquest when you're all burned to death.
09:25But look, I can strip away that wall, I can rewire it and put in five sockets.
09:29800 quid.
09:30All in.
09:31How long are we out of action?
09:32No, it'll just take me one night.
09:33I can isolate this wall so you can keep the bar open.
09:37600.
09:38800.
09:38All right?
09:39And that's final.
09:41It's not just the electrics, is it?
09:42You know, I've got to redecorate and patch it all in so 800 gets you my lad in.
09:47My son.
09:47He's got level three joinery.
09:49So we can tidy it all up and then seal it off for you.
09:52How old's your son?
09:5325.
09:54He's got two sons.
09:57Why?
09:59What do you mean?
10:01Just, you have two sons.
10:03So?
10:06Nothing.
10:09Why'd you say that?
10:11I just did because...
10:13You have, haven't you?
10:16Does it matter?
10:19No.
10:23Okay.
10:25Great.
10:26Um...
10:27700.
10:28800.
10:29All right?
10:31And then we're, uh...
10:33Disco.
10:45That's enough.
10:46I'll get started.
10:48Er...
10:48What did you get on the van?
10:50Two hours?
10:51Yeah.
10:51All right.
10:51Well, you better make it all day, haven't you?
10:53Your treat.
10:57See you later.
11:13Uh-huh.
11:16Uh-huh.
11:29Uh-huh.
11:31I'm running late.
11:32Get a taxi in.
11:33Pick me up at 7.30, okay?
11:35Why are we having dinner with your ex?
11:36No fucking idea.
11:39Curtis and Maggie at home.
11:40At 10 o'clock we are leaving, okay?
11:42Bye.
11:43He doesn't know what he's talking about.
11:45He's a shit player and he's a shit player.
11:47He doesn't know what he's talking about.
11:50He's a player.
11:51He's always on the fucking gym.
11:59Oh, my brother, my dad, he's a married man.
12:02Put it away.
12:03He's somewhere to park me bike anyway.
12:13He's a good guy.
12:14He's a guy, look at him.
12:18He's a good guy.
12:20I'm not gonna pull up.
12:20I'm not gonna pull him out.
12:24He's a good shepherd at home.
12:26I'm not gonna pull him out.
12:30I'm not gonna pull him out.
12:31I'm not gonna pull him out.
12:35Oh, my.
12:35Will do it.
12:35I'm not gonna pull him out.
12:36If you're lucky, I'm gonna pull him out.
12:41Not him.
12:41What if he's a kid?
12:42You flippin' Curtis and stupid bloody dick flippin' Maggie.
12:47Deep breath.
12:50Hi!
12:51Hey!
12:52Maggie, Maggie, Maggie! Out, out, out!
12:55Aw, that dates you.
12:56Sorry, we're late.
12:57Oh, you look wonderful.
12:58Nice to see you.
12:59Oh, I saw Sanjay!
13:00Yeah!
13:00I know, he's sad.
13:02It's been ages, how you been?
13:04Uh, not bad, not bad, yeah.
13:06You're looking older and fatter and greyer.
13:09And you're beginning to smell.
13:11Let me take that.
13:13So, um, who else has come in?
13:17Oh, uh, well, it's just us.
13:19Yeah, I thought we could catch up, have a chance to talk, you know.
13:22Talk about what?
13:24You know, things.
13:26Go on through.
13:38And he grabs my laptop and runs.
13:41I mean, he's what?
13:42Six foot three, all muscles.
13:43I mean, he's only 25 years old.
13:44So he runs like a gymnast.
13:46Out the front door.
13:47Gone.
13:47And I run.
13:48I run after him, into the street.
13:50Then I hear this click.
13:52It's the door closing behind me.
13:53Locked.
13:54And I'm standing there, absolutely naked.
13:57My God, no way.
13:58Yeah.
13:58I'm standing in the middle of the street, stark, bullock naked.
14:00I have to rescue him.
14:02Yeah.
14:02Did that really happen?
14:07All hanging out.
14:08For all the world to see.
14:10Got a load of this.
14:15But that's it, because Trump is fixing the court so he can stay for a third term.
14:20Why not a fourth?
14:21Because you know what this is?
14:24The dark age.
14:26It's a new dark age.
14:28If I live for 30 more years, I will die before the dark age ends.
14:33This is it, now.
14:34For life.
14:35I've missed all this.
14:37It's definitely suit to say it.
14:39It's a little bit doom scrolling, don't you think?
14:42Maggie, you can't seriously say these are good times, can you?
14:45Oh, hardly, no.
14:46But I think we're in a state of panic.
14:48I don't think it helps.
14:51I panic, apparently.
14:52But that's not what she means.
14:53I just think we can all worry, but we need to do something.
15:01So we are just sort of a little bit of good in the world, yeah?
15:08Yeah.
15:09That's what we wanted to say.
15:11It was not a big deal, we just didn't want you to hear it second hand.
15:15We are going to Foster.
15:18We did the panel on Monday and they've said yes.
15:21So, we're going to be foster parents.
15:23Oh, I think that's brilliant.
15:27Well done.
15:29Nice.
15:30That's amazing.
15:31Bid changes.
15:33There's such a shortage.
15:34I mean, there is such a shortage.
15:36Oh.
15:38Poor kid's having to listen to you two.
15:42We're terrified.
15:44And we did try, but I'm 45 now and that's not going to happen.
15:49And this is the next best thing.
15:51It's equally good.
15:51Yes, it's exactly.
15:54Sorry.
15:56Mom and Dad.
15:58Here's to you.
16:00Congratulations.
16:01We need people like you.
16:05You get a lot of money.
16:06That's why we're doing it.
16:07Cold, hard cash.
16:08It's the only reason.
16:09It's just you never said when we were together.
16:11You never said you wanted kids.
16:14I didn't back then.
16:15What changed?
16:16Nothing.
16:17I suppose I was a different person.
16:19Oh, no, you're better.
16:20No.
16:23Don't.
16:29Right.
16:30Are we all done?
16:30We've got a lovely tiramisu.
16:31Yeah.
16:32All good.
16:33I'll give you a hand.
16:46Look.
16:47Come here.
16:48Look, come here.
16:58Daddy.
16:59You might be a complete nightmare.
17:01I might regret every single second.
17:03You can't fuck up their lives, you know.
17:05Children.
17:08Because they've had a hard enough time already.
17:10You don't need to come into a house that's...
17:14austere.
17:16Oh, that's what I am, is it?
17:18Well, I was always the one who was a laugh.
17:20I mean, sorry, but our mates did not come round for a hoot with Curtis.
17:24Oh, yeah, you're so funny.
17:25I'm laughing.
17:25It's just that you never said anything, ever, about kids.
17:28Jenny adopted.
17:29You never said a word.
17:30Not a hint.
17:32It's like I never knew you.
17:34Except, well...
17:36I didn't, did I?
17:40You know what's really stupid?
17:43Since you left eating on my own.
17:48Sitting there.
17:49Cut it up into little pieces.
17:50I eat.
17:51I put down the fork.
17:52I wash up.
17:53Just all that.
17:54Ceremony.
17:55And then I shit.
17:57I shit.
17:58And I eat.
17:58Might as well be a tube.
17:59That's my life.
18:00I'm a tube.
18:02Do you still have your key?
18:03Have a what?
18:04Your key to the house.
18:05Have you still got it?
18:06I don't know.
18:07Maybe.
18:08I didn't formally hand it over.
18:09Why would you like me to?
18:10No, it's just like...
18:14You haven't been back, have you?
18:16To the house?
18:19I see.
18:19It's just things keep moving.
18:22When I'm not looking it's...
18:24I feel like I'm going mad.
18:25I come back home and...
18:26It's like things have been moved.
18:29Like a glass.
18:31Or a bottle.
18:33A letter.
18:34Or a book.
18:35It's the wrong way round.
18:38I had a little bit less wine.
18:42And then I turn on the TV.
18:43You know when you turn on the TV it goes to the last channel you were on?
18:45When I turn it on it goes to channel 161.
18:48What the hell is 161?
18:52You okay?
18:55Yeah.
18:57It's not me.
18:59No, I didn't...
19:00I didn't think it was.
19:02I don't really think there's anyone in your house.
19:07No.
19:10I've gone.
19:14Yeah.
19:16I've left you darling.
19:19I've gone.
19:37You okay?
19:38Yeah.
19:39And I don't want...
19:42Yeah, yeah.
19:49Fine.
19:51No, no, no.
19:52Wait.
19:53I took the best bit.
19:54I took the best bit.
19:55Maggie.
19:55Sob story.
19:56Baron Maggie.
19:57What she said.
19:59Did that really happen?
20:01Oh my God.
20:02Yeah.
20:02How'd you kill a fucking story?
20:03Did that really happen?
20:05Oh.
20:05Hardly.
20:06Hardly.
20:07She said that.
20:08Ooh.
20:09Hardly.
20:10Downton Abbey.
20:11Hardly.
20:12Ah.
20:13That's why she snared him.
20:15To be a mother.
20:16That's what she wanted all this time.
20:17I said so.
20:19You know what I'm going to do tonight?
20:21I'm going to get laid.
20:23I'm going to get fucked and battered and rimmed.
20:25I am so going to get rimmed.
20:27Did you know that Curtis has never eaten arse in his entire life?
20:30Yeah.
20:31He did tell me.
20:32He don't eat it with some coriander.
20:34Tonight's the night.
20:38Good night, my darling.
20:39Good night.
20:40Bend over.
20:41Scotland.
20:45Don't worry.
20:45I've only had two beers so I won't turn up on over.
20:48This is Leo, my gay neighbour.
20:50Oh, if that's not offensive.
20:51Well, it is.
20:52So watch it.
20:55Don't talk to an employer like that.
21:06You little fuckers.
21:08Big fuckers.
21:10Hot, really hungry.
21:18Yes!
21:39Found ya.
21:39Hello.
21:40I'm Dave.
21:41I know it says Francesco on the app but, uh, Francesco gets more results so...
21:46Anyway.
21:47It's Dave, really.
21:48Yeah, hi.
21:49I'm Leo.
21:50And that's your real name?
21:51Yes.
21:51Good start.
21:52There's a lot of liars on that thing.
21:59Ooh, nice place.
22:01Thanks.
22:02Do you own it?
22:03I do, yeah.
22:06It's nice.
22:08Is it just you?
22:09Just me.
22:10And that is how it's gonna stay.
22:13I'm afraid.
22:14Just me.
22:16Um...
22:16I'm fine with being on my own.
22:19I didn't come round to marry ya.
22:21No, but...
22:24I've changed my mind.
22:27I'm just not up for it tonight.
22:29I thought I was, but I'm not.
22:30And...
22:30You know when it just goes?
22:33You kidding me?
22:34Sorry.
22:39Another one.
22:43You know I came all this way?
22:46Well...
22:46662 metres.
22:48Not that far.
22:49Piss off.
22:49I will.
22:51I will.
23:12Oh, fuck.
23:22I will.
23:23You can't get me off.
23:23I will.
23:26I will.
23:27I won't.
23:32I will.
23:41I will.
23:43I will.
23:45I will.
24:04You don't blame them, your old friends treat you like shit.
24:09Yeah, you'd know.
24:10They might as well piss on the floor, I'm getting a truck.
24:12I'm getting a truck!
25:01I want to know why you would look at something so disgusting!
25:20What's...
25:49Fuck you!
25:51Fuck off then!
25:53Fuck off kid!
25:54Alright?
25:59Fuck off kid!
26:07Fuck off kid!
26:12Fuck off kid!
26:15Fuck off kid!
26:19Fuck off kid!
26:37Fuck off kid!
26:39Fuck off kid!
26:46I'm Ryan Rружió!
26:48Game mask!
26:48Ab Finn!ока!
26:49This is
27:00ORGAN PLAYS
27:27ORGAN PLAYS
27:52ORGAN PLAYS
28:19ORGAN PLAYS
29:20I love you.
29:22I love you.
29:25I still love you.
29:27I still love you.
29:37I still love you.
29:45I still love you.
29:52I still love you.
29:53I still love you.
30:07I still love you.
30:15I still love you.
30:29I still love you.
30:33I still love you.
30:36I still love you.
30:41I still love you.
30:58I still love you.
31:27George, I swear, if you tell your girlfriends about this,
31:30they will tell you that every single stupid boy does this,
31:32and you'll laugh about it.
31:35Because there's such a big world out there,
31:38and you can have boyfriends or girlfriends or whatever you like.
31:42You can have all the wild and crazy hot sex you want night after night.
31:49Because I promise you, George, there's a great big gay life just waiting for you.
32:02I'm coming in, so hands by your sides, all right?
32:06Listen, all this stuff between your mum and me, I don't want you hearing that, you know, so...
32:13Look, here you go.
32:18Are you all right?
32:18Yeah.
32:19Don't look it.
32:22Where is it?
32:23It's the game.
32:24Dog died.
32:27Who you sexting?
32:28Was it you?
32:29Oh, come on.
32:29It's late, isn't it?
32:30You've got college somewhere, and you know the rules.
32:32The phone's not private until you're 18, so come on, give us a...
32:37Is it a girl?
32:38Sure.
32:39No, is she upset you?
32:40Can you just leave me alone?
32:41I want to tell you something important, it's all right?
32:43They're not worth it.
32:46Not one of them.
33:02Disgusting.
33:36Good morning, all.
33:38Good morning, lover boy.
33:39How's Curtis?
33:40Oh, boring old bastard.
33:41Hello, Saul.
33:42All right, boss.
33:43Nice gun.
33:44You're late.
33:46No.
33:47I was in early yesterday because of you.
33:49This is like a normal time of day because I work late.
33:54And I want to apologise.
33:56I was a bit rude last night.
33:57I'm sorry about that.
33:59I make no offence.
34:00Why?
34:01What did you say?
34:02It's all done and dusted.
34:05So are we good?
34:06I told you.
34:07I've got nothing on my conscience.
34:09I only had two pints, so my head is clear.
34:11Not me.
34:12I'm fucking hanging.
34:14I'll tell you what, boss.
34:15I said to Jude, if you've got any paint left, when you last did the walls, she looked in
34:19the cellar.
34:19And there it was, sitting at the back after all these years.
34:21No one ever chucks paint away.
34:23Don't know how to do it.
34:24That saves you a bit of money.
34:25Nicely played.
34:26Well, welcome on board, Saul.
34:28All right, you and Judy have got the managers meeting now.
34:30All the bars and clubs at the council.
34:32It's a riot.
34:33Help yourself to anything and Mikey can look after you.
34:36Mikey, you've met Clive.
34:38That's Saul, Clive's son.
34:39All right.
34:41Morning, fellas.
35:09It's Saul.
35:11Well, isn't it?
35:12I mean, you're hot, Saul.
35:14Oh, mate, don't tell me you're subscribed.
35:16It's for girls, you know.
35:17Can't stop me.
35:18As long as you're paying.
35:19I'm on there.
35:20Are you?
35:20Mikey Manchester.
35:21How much do you make?
35:2220,000 a year.
35:24Fucking hell, I make six if I'm lucky.
35:26What you're working here for?
35:27My dad.
35:28He's a dickhead.
35:30Left us with a load of debts and shit.
35:32Bye.
35:33You ever want to cut up?
35:34Oh, mate, not my scene.
35:36I can teach you.
35:37Seriously, you're swimming.
35:38Yeah?
35:39Take a bank on it.
35:40No, let's try.
35:41Cheers, mate.
35:41Keep subscribing.
35:42Have a good one.
35:43I don't know.
35:48I am catnip in this place.
35:50What do you mean?
35:51That Mikey, lad.
35:52Asking to diddle me.
35:53Begging for it.
35:55So what did you see?
35:56I said, up your arse.
35:58That was a mistake.
35:59You said yes, please.
36:02And who is she?
36:04I'm Saul.
36:05I'm with him.
36:07Well, isn't he the lucky one?
36:10Told you.
36:11Catnip.
36:13Catnip.
36:16And who are you?
36:18I'm the electrician.
36:20Oh, the neighbor.
36:21That's right.
36:22The horny-handed son of toil.
36:25You're the one with the sun.
36:27Hmm?
36:28He said he was hot.
36:30Who did?
36:32Leo.
36:34When did he say that?
36:36Wasn't he naked, your boy?
36:39Wasn't there a story that Leo was in your house and your son was naked?
36:44Yeah.
36:45And the boss got locked out of the house.
36:47You mean Saul?
36:48Yeah, well, he doesn't mean George, does he?
36:49George is 16.
36:50He's legal.
36:51Melba.
36:53It's a bit dangerous to me with the electrics.
36:55Let's keep you safe.
36:55I sit you by the window.
36:57Anna's actually nipping out for some toasties, if you want one.
37:00Let's get you a nice cheese and I'm toastie, aye?
37:05Next point of order, Lachlan McCartney.
37:08You'd be glad to hear he's currently residing at his majesty's pleasure.
37:11Which one's he?
37:12The birdman.
37:13Big, tall, skidhead.
37:14You've seen him.
37:15He packed the heads off pigeons and leave him outside Cruise 101.
37:18Oh, yeah?
37:18Not anymore.
37:19Pigeon population is restored.
37:21Next on the list, over to you, Lucille.
37:23This was tough.
37:24It's Titty Ditty.
37:26Titty Ditty is a cabaret artist from Glasgow.
37:28We booked her.
37:29But she then prints posters and starts advertising on her website.
37:33This is her, not us.
37:35And the image had a Star of David on it.
37:37It's got all sorts on it.
37:39It's got Spider-Man.
37:40It's got the TARDIS.
37:41It's got Cynthia Erivo.
37:43It's a collage.
37:44But we get protests.
37:46They think she's anti-Palestine.
37:47And is she?
37:48I don't think she could point to Palestine on a map.
37:50She sings limericks on a banjo.
37:52But the next thing you know, our staff are being assaulted.
37:54Security, they're getting food flung at them.
37:56Chips and stuff thrown in their face.
37:57Who does that?
37:58Persons by?
37:58No, our lot.
38:01Lesbians at a lesbian bar attacking the lesbian staff
38:04because of a lesbian with a Jewish symbol.
38:06What the hell's going on?
38:09On behalf of the council, I've got to say, we're very happy.
38:12We can review the use of polycarbonates after 11pm.
38:16But I do have one worry.
38:18You have a lot of drag queens on the door.
38:23We do.
38:23Are you sure?
38:26We definitely do.
38:27I've seen them.
38:27Are you sure about the policy?
38:30We think it might drive people away.
38:32I think they draw people in.
38:33In fact, I know they do.
38:34People love a drag queen.
38:35In 2026?
38:36Since time immemorial, I don't quite understand what the problem is here.
38:39I'm gay.
38:40I go to Canal Street.
38:42I discover that gay means a man in lipstick and a wig with false breasts and glitter.
38:47How does that represent me?
38:48It's not meant to represent you.
38:50No, but nothing ever represents me, does it?
38:52So, what do you want?
38:53Door staff and...
38:57What?
39:00He's not even gay.
39:01He's been seen with a woman called Elaine.
39:03He just pretends to be gay to get promoted.
39:05That's how it works these days.
39:07Oh, I always said the left would eat itself and the feasting has begun.
39:11They're throwing chips.
39:12With tomato fucking sauce.
39:15Do you still have that youth group?
39:16Yeah, still going.
39:18I've got a youth for you.
39:19Let me save one of them.
39:20Just one.
39:22Ah, that's what I like to see.
39:24At least I can trust you lot.
39:25Morning, Melba.
39:26My meeting was dull, stupid and insane.
39:29Hello, Clive.
39:30All good?
39:31It's all happy?
39:32All good.
39:32Oh, and Benny from the brewery.
39:35On cue.
39:36A warm hand on your entrance.
39:37You wish.
39:39Christ, I've had a night and a half.
39:40Hello, Leonardo.
39:42And those out.
39:42Special offers.
39:43Love your best friend down the 31st.
39:45What?
39:45I know, I don't know who comes up with this shit, me.
39:47Someone in a room.
39:48So, I went out last night, hooked up with this ice skater.
39:51He sat down with Disney on ice.
39:52I said, well, better than being with Disney on fire.
39:54No word of a lie.
39:55Grabbed his ass.
39:56It was like holding a skull.
39:57Oh, right.
39:58Oh, no.
39:59And hung like a deodorant.
40:00Like a lady-sized roll-on.
40:02Fuck your mother.
40:03I'm talking a canister of right guard.
40:05You should see me girls.
40:06I'm prolapsed.
40:08And he shot his load.
40:09Do you know how many ropes?
40:10Twelve.
40:11In the face.
40:11One out, two out, three out, four out.
40:13I was like a battered wife.
40:16Trying to work here.
40:19Don't you tell me to put a plug in it, darling, because I've already got one in.
40:22Penny from the brewery.
40:23This is Clive.
40:24We're having some electrics done.
40:26Oh, are you putting the neon back up?
40:28Oh, my God.
40:29That's a thought.
40:30I love the neon.
40:31I love the neon.
40:33Do you remember?
40:41Oh, shit.
40:42What happened to that thing?
40:44Never bloody worked, did it?
40:45And I got the blame for it.
40:46Come on, Curtis.
40:47A thousand pounds, that thing cost.
40:48You wasted a thousand pounds on a stupid, tacky gimmick.
40:51Yeah, we should put it back up.
40:52Curtis would be so pissed off.
40:54Hey, Clive, can you fix neon signs?
40:56Cost you extra.
40:57Where is it?
40:58It's not here.
40:58Oh, no, it's at home.
40:59It's at mine.
40:59I got it in the divorce.
41:01It's a big old thing.
41:02Clive, could you bring it in your van tomorrow?
41:03Look, I told you it's a one-day job, innit?
41:06And anyway, I think I'm finished with this place.
41:08Well, I'm still paying you.
41:10All right, yeah.
41:11I'll go and get it.
41:12Where is it?
41:13Your house.
41:13I've got the keys, haven't I?
41:14No, but I don't like anyone going into my house without me.
41:17Why not?
41:17What am I going to do?
41:18I just don't.
41:19Well, maybe you should come with me, eh?
41:21Because I want to talk to you about inappropriate behavior.
41:24Your staff making suggestions on my son.
41:26Well, shut up, Dad.
41:27That was stupid.
41:29What did you do?
41:30Did you do anything?
41:32Oh, drama.
41:33Salt me popcorn.
41:36Yes, number six.
41:37And I know them more.
41:38That's inappropriate.
41:39All right, all right.
41:39I'll have a word.
41:40But come on, Clive.
41:41They're lads.
41:43They're banter.
41:44Wasn't it just banter?
41:45Saul's 25 years old.
41:46Exactly.
41:46He's not a kid.
41:47Yeah, and he's not bent.
41:48Oh, so that's the problem.
41:50I did not make a pass at him.
41:52You're kidding me.
41:53I'm not seriously getting bollocked.
41:55It's people your age who insist on these rules for good reason.
41:59And I think this is privacy.
42:00Oh, I saw them.
42:01Saul was laughing.
42:02Why is everything always sex with you, Lally?
42:04All the time.
42:04And it's not like that with you.
42:06Come on, Clive.
42:06Take me to one of your building sites.
42:08Let me listen to your mates.
42:09I'd be shocked.
42:10Fuck your mother.
42:11Don't answer.
42:11I mean, fuck your mother.
42:12Who says that?
42:13I was being professional.
42:15This is my profession.
42:17We're both on OnlyFans.
42:18Look.
42:19And there's Saul.
42:21Signing himself.
42:22Here.
42:22Have it on a group chat.
42:33Anything good?
42:35The person with the lipstick said that you fancied Saul.
42:37I mean, how old are you, Leo?
42:38Clive, look.
42:39He's six to five in strapping.
42:40I'm allowed to notice.
42:42If you had a mate who had a daughter who was 25 and gorgeous, you'd notice.
42:46So...
42:46What?
42:46It's not my fault, then.
42:48Saul.
42:49You've got rules about this.
42:50Saul's an employee.
42:51You can't play that.
42:52Pfft.
43:18You're laughing, aren't you?
43:19It's all of you.
43:20You're laughing for filth.
43:21It's just filth.
43:23Deodorants.
43:24You wonder why you get hated.
43:25All right.
43:26You can hate us and blame us all you like.
43:27But why don't you sit down with your son, huh?
43:29Your straight son and ask him.
43:32I'll be right back to him.
43:33Bye.
43:38Bye.
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