- 2 hours ago
Tip Toe S01E01
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:07AHHHHH
00:12AHHHHH
00:14AHHHHH
00:15Fire against fire
00:17It's fire against fire
00:19AHHHHH
00:21AHHHHH
00:22AHHHHH
00:26AHHHHH
00:27AHHHHH
00:29AHHHHH
00:31AHHHHH
00:34A MONSTER!
00:36A MONSTER!
00:49I don't know.
01:26I don't know.
01:49Sorry, I know.
01:50I've locked myself out.
01:51I was just putting something in the bin and then click.
01:55So what do you want, a ladder?
01:58No, I don't think I've got any windows open.
02:01I just need to phone my friend Stephanie.
02:03Remember her, my best mate?
02:04She's got a spare key.
02:04I mean, I've got a spare key, but guess what it is?
02:07In the house.
02:09Find out how good that is.
02:12Yeah, look, you better get in on me.
02:33Sorry, George.
02:34Got locked out.
02:37You're a bit stupid.
02:40How are you doing?
02:41How's school?
02:41It's college now.
02:42College!
02:43Good.
02:44Well done.
02:45Yeah.
02:48No, but I don't know her number.
02:51I mean, who knows numbers anymore?
02:52But I remember she did that charity thing with Marie.
02:54You know, remember the kids' breakfast thing?
02:56So I thought she might have it.
02:57Marie's in work.
02:58I know.
02:59So could you...
03:10Clive, I'm busy.
03:11What is it?
03:12Yeah, I've got Leo from next door standing here.
03:15In his pants.
03:17Yeah, he's locked himself out.
03:19You know why that is, don't you?
03:21Because Bridget was on WhatsApp two minutes ago.
03:23I'm telling you to do the job, but it's ping, ping, ping.
03:25All about him from next door.
03:26Because you know what she said.
03:28Guess what she saw, Bridget.
03:33Is that right?
03:36What do you mean running?
03:38Running out of the house.
03:40It was.
03:43And then what happened?
03:46Leo is running.
03:49Yeah, no, he said you've got his friend's number.
03:51But, um, Stephanie?
03:54Yeah, yeah, that's the one.
03:55Yeah, no, but she's got the key, so just, uh, text her to me.
03:59Bridget.
04:01Opposite.
04:02She says there was a man.
04:03Came running out to your house.
04:05And then you came running after him, but he ran off.
04:07So, uh, that's how you got locked up.
04:09Right.
04:11Him.
04:13Morning.
04:14Hi.
04:14It's quite a night.
04:16We've never tried gunning before.
04:19Not as a couple.
04:20Um, can I get you a coffee, or...?
04:23Yeah, uh, black.
04:24Thanks.
04:26Eddie.
04:26Leo.
04:27And so on.
04:30Um, I'd offer you some toast, but I don't have anything in.
04:34I wasn't expecting anyone overnight.
04:35Kind of surprised me.
04:37Now that I'm complaining.
04:42Don't dare.
04:50That was my friend, um, Eddie.
04:53And he was staying with me.
04:54And, uh, he went.
04:56I waved him goodbye.
04:57And that's when I, uh, took out the paper stuff.
05:01Thanks for the bin.
05:06Oh, whoa.
05:08Stephanie.
05:13I know, but I'm in my pants and I have to open up at work.
05:16I know you're busy.
05:18I'm sorry, but...
05:19Hold on.
05:21What are you doing?
05:24Um, I got, I got locked out.
05:27You weirdo.
05:31Steph, Steph, I'll take us away at Christmas.
05:33I swear, I'll pee.
05:34Just get me out of here.
05:41Right.
05:42Good.
05:43Uh, she has a key.
05:44Saul, I don't think you should be naked in front of Mr Struthers.
05:46Doesn't bother me.
05:47Yeah, well, it bothers me, so go and get some clothes on, eh?
05:52Hello?
05:53Hey.
05:54That's enough.
05:56I apologise for my son.
05:59Thanks.
06:05It's definitely, it'll be around about 20 minutes.
06:07She's wrapping something up at work and then she's coming over.
06:09Just put the keys in an Uber.
06:10Ah, she thinks they're all anti-union.
06:11She won't touch them, so.
06:13All right, if I just wait here?
06:14No.
06:16Okay, it's just for 20 minutes.
06:18Yeah, no, I need to get to work in a bit.
06:20I can just sit and watch TV.
06:21Hey, George, what time are you at college?
06:2311.
06:23Yeah, you can't sit here with him.
06:25Why not?
06:27You're 16?
06:47Hey.
06:49Oh, God.
06:52Where'd you get the jacket?
06:53No, the guy was next door and he was not happy, let me tell you.
06:56His wife was almost angry.
06:59I'm surprised they're still together after what happened.
07:02There was a hook-up. God, Eddie, he nicked my laptop and ran off.
07:05I ran after him and got blocked out.
07:32I'm disgraceful.
07:33You're lucky. It could have been a lot worse.
07:35I mean, you're 60 next year. God's sake.
07:37I'm allowed to have fun.
07:39What, like this? Really?
07:42He's not coming back, Steph.
07:45Did you see on Instagram, Curtis in Italy, with her?
07:49So, why were you surprised? What happened next door with Clive Goss, Goss the boss?
07:54He slept with someone else.
07:56Did he?
07:57On holiday in a caravan park.
08:00Ew!
08:00I mean, imagine. I mean, what else is there to do but fuck around?
08:05If you think about it, they've got a son who's, what, 25, but the other one's only 15?
08:1116.
08:12So, that age gap means marriage and crisis. Having another child never fixes anything.
08:17You eat too much of cheese?
08:18Well, not anymore.
08:21How's work?
08:23It's insane.
08:25Thanks to you lot.
08:26What does that mean?
08:28That's all your fault, isn't it?
08:30What is?
08:34We got this kid in care now.
08:36He arrived in Britain in December.
08:38But he's on that scheme, so there's no records.
08:41Says he's 14.
08:43Is he fuck 14?
08:44He's got a moustache.
08:45He's got a beard.
08:47He's 21, at least.
08:49But he says he's 14, so 14 it is.
08:52And he is in there with the kids, and he's taking the boys out drinking.
08:57Don't tell me there's no drugs.
08:59There are drugs.
09:01But it's the way he looks at the girls.
09:05And he's always outside the bathroom every time a girl has a shower, standing there, grinning.
09:09But that's just the beginning, cos this boy, this man, is on top of the list to be fostered.
09:16Which means I have to process that application.
09:18And these foster families, they've got daughters.
09:22But what do I tell them?
09:24I can't warn them.
09:25I'm not allowed.
09:26Cos he says he's 14, and therefore it's a fact.
09:29So what can I do?
09:31Nothing.
09:32And how is this my fault?
09:34He self-identifies.
09:36Which you lot invented.
09:38Thanks very much.
09:54Hey, how you doing?
09:57This is the love of my life.
09:59It will never work.
09:59Oh my God.
10:00Are you?
10:01Yeah.
10:07Oof.
10:19Morning.
10:21What time did you call this?
10:23Tuesday after opening up, boss.
10:24I was waiting outside.
10:25Hello, Steve.
10:27Morning, everybody.
10:28Morning, boss.
10:28So, I finished here last night.
10:32I was going to go straight home.
10:33Then I thought, oh, quick little snifter at Monroe's.
10:35Met a man called Eddie.
10:37Tall, thin.
10:38What?
10:39Chat, chat, chat.
10:40Ninety minutes later, took him home.
10:42You didn't.
10:43I did.
10:44Wild sex.
10:45I will draw a veil.
10:46Then, this morning, we get up, go downstairs.
10:48He grabs my laptop and runs into the street.
10:52I run after him.
10:52The door closes behind me.
10:54I'm locked out of my own house.
10:55Stark naked.
10:56Oh, boy.
10:58Stark bollock naked in the street.
11:00All I could do was steal a garden gnome from next door to hide my privates.
11:04I stare to God.
11:05I'm in the middle of the street.
11:06My arse hanging out.
11:08And a garden gnome hiding my kemi badinov.
11:11Wait.
11:11There's more.
11:12There's more.
11:13So, I go next door.
11:14There's the neighbor's son, fresh out of the shower.
11:18Dripping.
11:1925 years old.
11:21Pink.
11:21Wet.
11:22Topless.
11:22Well, I tell you, all of a sudden, that garden gnome had a fishing rod.
11:27What a start to the day.
11:30I thank you.
11:41Hannah.
11:42What happened yesterday?
11:43I had a headache.
11:45Well, that is what the sick line is for.
11:47You don't ask Tanya to pass on a message.
11:50You phone the sick line.
11:51Because I've always got it.
11:52If I don't have it, Judy's got it.
11:53And we need to know properly so we can get cover.
11:55Understood?
11:56Yep.
11:57Good.
11:58What?
11:58This is Frederick.
11:59He's been waiting.
12:00You were supposed to interview him at half-past.
12:02Oh, right, right.
12:03Ah, first customer of the day.
12:05Morning, Melba.
12:06The usual.
12:07Louise, can you sort out the dame?
12:10Good morning.
12:11So, Frederico.
12:12Have you worked in a bar before?
12:14Yeah, I did two weeks of Pinnacle.
12:15Where'd you leave?
12:16Well, they sacked me.
12:17Good start.
12:18All right, let's do this on the hoof.
12:20Come behind the bar.
12:20Come on.
12:22So, what did Pinnacle pay you?
12:24Ten.
12:24We paid 12, but that means you have to work for it.
12:26So, come on, show me.
12:28Get me a WKD, a gin and tonic, and vodka lime.
12:30Both with ice.
12:31Except we don't have any ice.
12:32Mikey, can you get the ice?
12:34Morning, boss man.
12:35Basically, we're a speed bar.
12:37We don't do cocktails.
12:38The nearest thing we do is a Blue Lagoon.
12:39But not from a shaker.
12:41We don't have time for that.
12:41Just pour it straight into the glass.
12:43Do you know what's in a Blue Lagoon?
12:44No.
12:45Vodka, curacao, and lemonade.
12:48So, what do you do?
12:49Are you a student?
12:49Yeah.
12:50What are you studying?
12:50Philosophy.
12:51Ooh, philosophy.
12:53You know my philosophy.
12:54I can imagine.
12:55Fuck them all.
12:56I was right.
12:58Ah!
12:59Okay.
13:00Electric shock.
13:01Ah, you see where you get that fuse box.
13:03I told you boss, it's happening all the time.
13:06You're right, Freddie.
13:07It's a bit normal.
13:08Okay.
13:08Let's do a little test to see if you were listening.
13:10So, tell me, Fred, in the Blue Lagoon there is vodka, curacao, and what?
13:16I've got no feeling in my hand.
13:18Have I lost you?
13:20It really shocked me.
13:23Okay.
13:24All right.
13:25Do you want a little lie down in a glass of water, Freddie?
13:27Hannah, get this boy a seat.
13:29Go on.
13:29Put your feet up, young man.
13:30You have just survived death by fridge.
13:33Yeah, I am a bit unsteady.
13:39See, we leave a word with Hannah.
13:40She's taking the piss.
13:41You can't keep missing shit.
13:42Taking the piss.
13:43They keep missing shit.
13:44All right.
13:45Oh, come on.
13:45No, boss.
13:46Not you.
13:47Honestly, Zee.
13:49Your tribe is the most beleaguered on the entire planet.
13:51And what do you do?
13:52The one thing that is guaranteed to annoy everyone.
13:55You fiddled about with your pronouns, and now everyone's pissed off with you.
13:58My GP stopped prescribing oestrogen.
14:00But never mind that, eh?
14:01You're pissed off about one little word.
14:04Yeah, I know.
14:05Okay.
14:06I'm getting old.
14:09Hello, sick line?
14:10Hiya.
14:12Frederick?
14:14You're calling in sick?
14:16I don't feel very well.
14:18The sick line is for employees.
14:19Yes.
14:20But, according to the employment law of 2024...
14:24Don't you dare.
14:24Despite the 26th amendment...
14:26Fucking Labour government.
14:27We've got full workers' rights from day one, which starts at the point of interview.
14:31And I was just electrocuted.
14:34I should get compensation for that.
14:36You little...
14:37Boss.
14:40Okay.
14:42Freddy.
14:43I think you should go home and consider your position.
14:53Thank you for the interview.
14:55I'll let you know.
14:58You're letting me know.
14:59Legacy of gear bloody Starmer.
15:01You come to Manchester and run a bar your lordship.
15:05Yeah.
15:06This is Leo.
15:07Over.
15:07Could you come up here boss?
15:09We'll bring Z with you.
15:09Got a problem.
15:10Over.
15:12What have you done now?
15:143am.
15:15We're locking up.
15:17That's when you said goodbye Z.
15:19Me and Mikey head out the front.
15:21You slip into that quarter turn where there's no camera.
15:24And that's when you stay all night.
15:25Oh Z.
15:26Darling.
15:28This morning.
15:299am.
15:29I open up.
15:30I go upstairs.
15:32You pretend to arrive.
15:34And you shout upstairs.
15:35Say hello.
15:35And I said hello.
15:38You slept in that tiny little space.
15:40I thought you were the clever one.
15:41What happened?
15:44They said they were going to kill me.
15:47This Polish lad moved in.
15:49And he was alright at first.
15:51But then three of his mates moved in.
15:53So it was a house share with four of them.
15:54And one of me.
15:56And we'd laugh you know.
16:00But then they said we were like brothers.
16:02Oh they knew.
16:04And then it gets worse.
16:06They get drunk.
16:07Start pangin' on my door every night.
16:10I'm gonna fuck you little boy.
16:12Jesus.
16:14The first lad made me laugh.
16:15I'm gonna call.
16:17He said I am gonna fuck you.
16:19Until you're dead.
16:24From that moment on they just want to kill me.
16:27He said they were gonna cut my throat.
16:30Can't you go to the police?
16:32Yeah.
16:33I'll really help.
16:34You can stay with Ashraf.
16:35He's got a room.
16:36You can stay there.
16:36I'll have a word.
16:37All my stuff's in that house.
16:40Then let's go get it.
16:43Okay everybody.
16:45Please don't sit.
16:53At the end?
16:54They'll be asleep.
16:55They'll be getting at four.
16:56Sleep till four.
16:57Just keep quiet.
17:00Alright let's go.
17:27Come on.
17:30Hurry guys.
17:31Come on.
17:32Come on.
17:32Come on.
17:36This isn't that room.
17:37It's a box.
17:39They all live like this.
17:40I guess this is what we did to them.
17:48Hi.
17:51Good afternoon my friend.
17:53We're not causing any trouble here.
17:54Just helping out a colleague.
17:56Just a few texts and we'll be gone.
17:59Come on.
17:59You know I've always wanted to visit Poland.
18:01What would you recommend?
18:03Michael!
18:04Come on.
18:04Michael!
18:05Come on.
18:26Come on.
18:28I can't stop all of ya.
18:30But you Bartek.
18:31I can get you you little twat.
18:33And they can kill me.
18:35And rip my head off my body.
18:37But before I die.
18:38I will batter your tiny little skull.
18:42Into pieces you fucking prick.
18:48Jesus Christ.
18:50Run.
18:52Go.
18:54You've got a gun.
18:55I'm licensed to kill 22 types of birds in my own back garden.
19:01Fuck off.
19:02Help me.
19:04Help me.
19:06Stop.
19:06Stop the boys.
19:09What the hell Jenny.
19:10You can't just stop.
19:11I know what I'm doing.
19:12Uncle was a bodyguard to the Charveron.
19:14Beauty!
19:15Drive the car!
19:18Look at the hell.
19:22Oh my God!
19:38Oh
20:11Go on, give us your key then.
20:13You said you had a spare key.
20:14You might as well give it to me, might you?
20:17Well, I'm not going to lock myself out again, Clive.
20:20Oh, whatever you do.
20:24Okay.
20:26There you go.
20:27What's your alarm code?
20:31Yeah, okay, 1502.
20:341502.
20:35Oh, I'll make out.
20:38What a day I've had.
20:41Thanks very much for this morning.
20:44That's very kind of you.
20:46So do I get a key for yours?
20:48You wish.
21:23I'm going to swap this for Donner and go upstairs, is that okay?
21:25Okay, sure, anything wrong?
21:27There's a boy over there.
21:28Don't look for a polo shirt.
21:30I teach him.
21:31Have you seen you?
21:32Look straight through me.
21:34I think he's good.
21:35No chance.
21:36He's out to impress the girls.
21:37But if he recognizes me, I'm in trouble.
21:39I'm just at school.
21:41Never mind that, I'm his teacher.
21:43He knows where I live.
21:44And you go.
21:45See you later, boss.
21:49Okay.
21:50I'm off.
21:52NightNet says that gang of gypsies has moved to Dean's Gate instead.
21:55So I think we're going to be safe.
21:56So I will love you and leave you, my peasants.
21:58Sam.
21:59Awesome.
22:01Oh.
22:20Happy birthday, mama.
22:23Wake up!
22:25Maybe.
22:26I don't know.
22:28Nice.
22:30Nice.
22:31Oh, this is bullshit.
22:32There you are.
22:34Oh, my God.
22:35Have a good time.
22:36Wake up to come in.
22:37Come on.
22:47Oh, my God.
22:49Oh, my God.
22:51Oh, my God.
22:51Oh, my God.
22:53Oh, my God.
23:00That's good.
23:03I went to the optician's the other day, because she got to look after your eyes.
23:07I went, yeah.
23:07He says, Miss Dixie, you've got to stop wanking.
23:12I said, why will I go blind?
23:14He says, no, you're upsetting everybody in the waiting room.
23:18Oh, you've been a lovely audience, you really have.
23:21But before you go, did you see in the news this week
23:24that poor old lady in Levinjune found dead in a flat?
23:28No one to care for her.
23:29I mean, what a world we live in, eh, girls?
23:31So just be kind, darlings, be kind.
23:34Oh, for fuck's sake.
23:35You got something to say, darling?
23:36Don't pretend to care, you fucking Tory.
23:39Tory, I've seen you up in a old barn.
23:43You haven't just got two cars, you've got two fucking garages.
23:46Oh, a tiny bit of jealousy.
23:47She's greener than wicked, that one.
23:49Your husband has money, no, no, has money in care homes
23:53that stand women up in the bathroom and hose them down with cold water.
23:58This, ladies and gentlemen, is Melba.
24:02Melba, mediocre.
24:04She's not bitter at all, is she?
24:06Oh, shut up.
24:06I mean, I'm not saying she's old and past it,
24:09but she were young when Moses were a lad.
24:11That's not even the right fucking joke.
24:13She was old when Moses was a lad, not young.
24:16Come on, get her out.
24:17She was old.
24:18You're just a bag in the basement, back late.
24:20Do you even know what drag is?
24:23This lipstick, these fucking eyelashes.
24:26It's a protest.
24:28One more.
24:28No, it's a scream.
24:30Let's get you out.
24:30It's a punch in the face.
24:32Shut up.
24:32I ain't, darling.
24:33It's not Margaret fucking Thatcher.
24:35Get out, you skanky bitch, you bard.
24:41That's where I met Harry.
24:43On that corner right there.
24:451992.
24:46I'd only been in Manchester just over a year.
24:49I never met him.
24:51I don't suppose you would have,
24:51because he finished with me in 1994.
24:54And then he phones me up one month later,
24:58one month to the day,
25:00and says,
25:02I'm positive.
25:03Get yourself tested.
25:04Remember those calls.
25:06And then I tested positive.
25:12I thought I was dying.
25:13Well, in 1994 I was dying.
25:15So I phoned him back.
25:18Answer phone.
25:19Phone him back again.
25:20Phone him back again.
25:24He never picked up.
25:26Ever.
25:27Then he moved away and back to London, gone.
25:31Six years later I find out he's dead.
25:33Someone just mentions it in passing.
25:39Cunt.
25:40No, we're not meant to blame.
25:41No, he was a cunt.
25:46You should have looked this way, darling.
25:50I loved you since the day I first saw you.
25:52My daft little Scottish lad with eyes like a fox.
25:59I live in hope.
26:02Do not know, Bob.
26:09Happy birthday.
26:11Happy birthday.
26:14I do, though.
26:19Do you ever think it's coming back?
26:22All that shit from the 90s.
26:24We were despised, but you read the stuff online now, it sounds just the same.
26:28Do I think it's coming back?
26:29Yeah.
26:30It's back, you fucking idiot.
26:33Right now it's here.
26:35It's a storm.
26:36It's a tide.
26:37It's a great big tsunami.
26:38We're in the middle of it right now.
26:40Do I think it's coming back?
26:42You know, if you'd asked me in 1996, what do you think 2026 will be like?
26:46I'd have said glory days.
26:48We'll have equality.
26:49We'll have love and kisses.
26:50We'll be holding hands, skipping down the street.
26:56They tricked us, didn't they?
26:59They just waited.
27:01Oh, they let us all come out.
27:03So now we're standing in the open, ready for them to shoot us down.
27:07You think that?
27:08Weird.
27:08Look at me, I'm as out and as proud as anything, but the past couple of years, I'm a lot
27:15more careful.
27:16You just started a great big round.
27:19On Canal Street.
27:21Home turf, but out there.
27:25I used to walk into a room and just go, ta-da.
27:30Now I tiptoe, just in case.
27:37You know the awful thing, now I don't have to care as much, not anymore, because I've done my bit.
27:47I have fought the good fight very many times.
27:51Thank you very much, HIV, Section 28, Boughton 7, oh bless them, and the little leather slings.
27:58I have marched.
28:02That's someone else's turn.
28:04One of those bright young things, they can man the barricades, or woman the barricades, or them the barricades.
28:11I mean, I'll be 60 next year.
28:16In a couple of years I can retire and remember the golden days.
28:20You're kidding yourself, yeah.
28:22If there's a war, you're on the front line, my darling.
28:26You have trans bar stuff, that's the battleground right there.
28:30Yeah, I love my stuff.
28:32And as a result, look at trip advisor for your place.
28:34There they are, regular as the morning shit.
28:37Post after post calling you a pedo and a groomer, because they say you pay chemically castrated children to work
28:45for you.
28:46It's just borts.
28:46No, that's women.
28:47Women who are furious, and with good reason, but no, don't starve me.
28:51And men, grown men typing away with a big fist.
28:54But it's just that, typing.
28:56The president of America has given these men permission to attack us.
29:04Leo, you're queer in 2026.
29:07You're a political act.
29:09Yeah, but it'll swing back.
29:10We do this.
29:11We go through history.
29:13We swing one way, we swing the other.
29:15Conservative, then Labour.
29:16Republicans, then Democrats.
29:17Just, just give it time.
29:20It'll, we'll settle.
29:23Is that what history teaches you?
29:26Yeah.
29:27It does.
29:29I think history's merciless.
29:31And it only goes one way, onwards.
29:35It marches on, and on, and on.
29:39And what if this never swings back?
29:42What if Trump just keeps on winning forever and ever?
29:45How far will it go?
29:46How much will they hate us?
29:48Because they hate us, Leo.
29:49They really hate us.
29:51And you know what?
29:52I think they've always hated us.
29:55Only now, they don't have to pretend anymore.
29:58No.
29:59History tells us one thing.
30:02That blood, and fire, and retribution always happen.
30:08And right now,
30:11it's coming for us.
30:13What if it's coming for us?
31:17Clive, you are inside my house.
31:20You gave me the keys, didn't you?
31:21So those are fixed up for you.
31:23You know, that key safe thing.
31:26If you put this on the wall outside, you won't get locked out again.
31:29They give these to the elderly and disabled.
31:32They love them.
31:33I'm thrilled to be in the same category.
31:35But Clive, I don't think you should just walk into my house.
31:37I think you should knock or ring the bell.
31:40Okay.
31:49Besser.
31:52All right, get on with it.
31:53Why do you want this?
31:55I was thinking, uh, bad of you.
31:59I don't know, is that good?
32:00Yeah, it should be, yeah.
32:01Yeah, I'll get on with it.
32:03Do you ever wear any clothes?
32:05Yeah, I should.
32:06Yeah, go on, piss off.
32:08I don't need your help.
32:10You leave the other work to me, eh?
32:22Fucking let himself in.
32:25Fucking let himself in.
32:26God, bloody God.
32:29My fucking house.
32:34Guys, it's done.
32:36Yeah, yeah, let me show you.
32:38So the key's in there, right?
32:40You put in 1502, open it up.
32:42There's your key.
32:43You put it back in.
32:45Close it.
32:46Bob's your uncle.
32:47And that won't attract burglars,
32:48because they know there's a key there.
32:49I mean, you can't force it open.
32:51Does that become a problem?
32:53I'll take it down if you want.
32:54No.
32:55It's up now.
32:56I'll get out of your way.
32:58All right, it was 17.99, all right?
33:00But I got you another key.
33:01That was a fiver.
33:02So it's 22.99,
33:04and I'm not charging you for labor, all right?
33:07Cash okay?
33:08If I've got it.
33:21You're not working today?
33:22Oh, yeah.
33:23No, I am.
33:24Saturday's the busiest night.
33:26I'm working till 4am.
33:26I didn't call that work, eh?
33:28Dishing out drinks, okay?
33:31Do you know how many people I employ?
33:32Huh?
33:3345.
33:34Fuck.
33:34I do.
33:36It's a bar.
33:37So?
33:37You do not employ 45.
33:40There's 15 girls just rotating at the door,
33:42then there's managers, bar staff, security cleaners.
33:44How many are you?
33:46It's just me.
33:47Oh, well, nice life.
33:48And you didn't have to increase national insurance
33:50for 45 people.
33:51No, but I have to cope with maritime law.
33:53What's that?
33:53Ah, you see, you don't know everything.
33:55Under maritime law, you can sail into this country
33:57from Romania without any qualifications,
34:00and you can take my job from under my nose.
34:01Because you can work as an electrician with no credentials.
34:04How is that maritime law?
34:06Because we're an island.
34:10I did think, if you don't mind, I was going to say,
34:14do you need any work doing?
34:16You know, in the bar?
34:18Because we're a bit short of hours,
34:20and it's not a good time.
34:22And those boys, they cost a fortune,
34:24and Maurice, he's always nagging at me.
34:26So I'll do a good price.
34:27Ah, no.
34:27We're fine, sorry.
34:28No, we're going to ask.
34:30No, I'm really sorry.
34:30No, it's fine.
34:32It's fine.
34:32Just, you can't be a hero of anything.
34:36How's Curtis?
34:38Oh, er, I don't know.
34:40Ask him.
34:42Fine.
34:42How long's he been gone?
34:45Two years.
34:47Recently ran off with a woman.
34:49Began a relationship with someone else, yes.
34:52That must have been a blow to your manhood.
34:54Well, it turns out I can get a blow to my manhood any time in my life.
34:56There you go, you see.
34:57You had to make it dirty, didn't you?
34:58And every time, it's always sex with you, Lord.
35:00I find it revolting, you know, this time of day.
35:02Oh, right.
35:02So that's us, is it?
35:03That's the gays.
35:04We're all sex.
35:05You had a man running out of your house with my children sitting next door.
35:08Okay, so I sleep around.
35:11I'm the one who sleeps around.
35:14In this room, the person who sleeps around is me.
35:20What do you get, man?
35:20What do you think?
35:25What do you mean?
35:28Nothing, never mind.
35:2925 quid.
35:30Thanks.
35:32Was it a real woman?
35:33What?
35:34For Curtis, because these days it might not be.
35:37You know what I mean?
35:37He said if he's gay, is he run off with a man who calls himself a woman,
35:41or a woman who used to be a man, because it's all he, she, they and them now, isn't it?
35:45So we can't tell.
35:45Well, you know who started all that, don't you?
35:47Huh?
35:47You.
35:48What?
35:49I did that.
35:50Yeah, you.
35:51All of you.
35:51All this fuss with pronouns.
35:53It was always you, though.
35:55From the moment we are born, in the schoolyard, it's always you staring at us saying,
35:59what are you, man?
35:59A boy or a girl?
36:00You a boy or a girl?
36:01What are you?
36:01A boy or a girl?
36:02Six years old, if you're not playing football, it's like, what are you?
36:04Some sort of girl?
36:05All our lives, what are you?
36:07What are you?
36:07What are you?
36:08And then guess what?
36:08We say, okay, fine, you win, you're right, we'll do what you want.
36:11If we are so confusing, then I'll become a she, she can be a he, and if that doesn't work,
36:15I can become a them.
36:16What do you think?
36:16Happy night?
36:17Well, guess what?
36:18No.
36:18It's all, how dare you change?
36:20How dare you be different?
36:21How dare you not know?
36:23We did exactly what you wanted, and you still don't fucking like it.
36:29And now we'll have my change, please.
36:30I gave you 25 quid, so 22.99, that's two pounds and one penny, you owe me, please, Clive,
36:35thank you.
36:36Oh, I'll go get it.
36:36Yeah, you do that.
37:03Hey, two pounds, one penny.
37:07Look, all right, I didn't...
37:07Oh, no, no, no, it's all my fault.
37:09Apparently.
37:11He hasn't ever said so, have a nice day.
37:14I do need a spot of work.
37:18There's some dodgy wiring at the bar, so yeah, thank you.
37:22I'd be very grateful.
37:24Yeah, well, no mates rates.
37:26Well, we're not mates.
37:29All right, we'll drop us a text and we'll sort it.
37:31You know what I mean?
37:32If I've got time, like...
37:34Okay.
37:41Jesus Christ.
37:57I'm in need of you.
38:03I don't know.
38:43I don't know.
39:10I don't know.
39:33I don't know.
39:35I don't know.
39:52River said to Lamb, I've always fancied you, sir.
39:56Lamb unzipped his dirty, sweaty trousers.
40:00Eat this, River.
40:02And River nuzzle deep into the unwashed hole.
40:16You know everyone is talking on the scene.
40:21I hear them whispering about the places that you've been.
40:24And how you don't know how to keep your business clean.
40:28Yeah.
40:28I don't know.
40:31I don't know.
40:32I don't know.
40:33I don't know.
40:36Daddy, if you want to drop the attic.
40:39Give me love.
40:40Give me Fendi, my Balenciaga.
40:43Daddy.
40:43You gonna need to bag it up, cause I'm spending on Rodeo
40:46You can wish me bag it up, I'll be gone in the A and E
40:50He get me Prada, get me Mew Mew like Rihanna
40:53He always call me, cause I never cause no drama
40:57And when you want it, baby, I know I got you covered
41:01And when you need it, baby, just jump another cover
41:13I'm gonna need it, baby, I'm gonna need it
41:57Fuck
41:59Fuck
42:03I swear it gets madder and madder, that family next door
42:06George, get out of here
42:09You get secrets, if you're hiding things from me now
42:12So you won't tell her next time
42:14Tonight tonight, I am still gonna get rammed
42:17Maggie, Maggie, Maggie, out, out, out
42:19You can look down on women
42:21Fuck off
42:21Great Clyde
42:23Whoa
42:25I still love you
42:26I think you lot are so full of all your freedoms
42:28You don't know when to stop
42:35You alright?
42:37Sit at home with a bad dad and you're as close to this ever
42:42I'm so scared
42:47You're terrifying
42:52You're like, it creeps through the walls
42:58Fuck
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