- 11 hours ago
Make That S01E04-6
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:01Hi, my name's Ewing. I like drawing and showing up for the boys.
00:00:06Cut me and I bleed girlsfields United. Never miss a game.
00:00:10Come on the geese, come on the geese, come on the geese, come on the geese!
00:00:15What's the score boys?
00:00:17Ewing, the scoreboard's right there.
00:00:22Technically, they've lost all their games this season.
00:00:24But I'll never give up on the lads.
00:00:27This is the guy's pleading with the ref.
00:00:33This, this is the euglet.
00:00:36He's got magical powers.
00:00:38He's taken a vow to help anyone in their time of need.
00:00:42What if the euglet teamed up with girlsfields United and helped them to win their first football game?
00:00:48Now that is a movie I'd love to see.
00:00:52This is what I love about this country.
00:00:54The devotion.
00:00:55The spirit.
00:00:56England's green and pleasant pastures.
00:00:59This is more than just a feel-good sports movie with a sprinkling of fantasy.
00:01:02This is a boy's wish.
00:01:04We can't let anything stand in our way.
00:01:09And you shouldn't be장을
00:01:14It's not for a
00:01:33gift, doesn't know?
00:01:36Okay.
00:01:43I couldn't wait to meet Ewan and find out more about his little green character.
00:01:47We cruised into Gernsfield to catch up with the man of the match himself.
00:01:51Congratulations, Mr O'Donoghue.
00:01:52What are your thoughts on today's selection?
00:01:56He's real.
00:01:57Oh my God, it's you.
00:01:59You might be riding high after today's fantastic result.
00:02:02Do you have anything to say to the fans at home?
00:02:04Oh my God.
00:02:05You're going to make my movie!
00:02:06Well, there you have it.
00:02:07The penny is dropped and the gaffer is speechless.
00:02:10At the end of the day, he's playing a real blind a great vision from the lad himself.
00:02:14Can I do one?
00:02:16Have you got one prepared?
00:02:18Yeah.
00:02:22Sorry, mate.
00:02:23I don't think we've got time.
00:02:25It's my moment, mate.
00:02:27Yeah?
00:02:30I can't wait to tell the lads about this tomorrow at training.
00:02:33Oh, you're going to ride to training as well?
00:02:36Yeah, training's just a code before kick-off, really.
00:02:38You know, they chat about cat kicks, I guess.
00:02:41And I'll get a goat's mouth raise here.
00:02:43Oh.
00:02:43Um, are your parents around?
00:02:44We just have a few forms we'd like them to sign.
00:02:47My parents?
00:02:48No, they're in Devin.
00:02:49That's right.
00:02:50Give it here.
00:02:50I'll sign it.
00:02:52You know, it's nice to see a bit of paper.
00:02:55Everything's gone all digital, hasn't it?
00:02:57I'll grab a pen.
00:03:02Devin?
00:03:03Goodness me.
00:03:04I'm dying to know more about this little Yug-Yug fella.
00:03:07He's quite charming.
00:03:08Really, he is.
00:03:09It's pronounced Yugletch.
00:03:11I'm sorry.
00:03:12It's just that I'm a big fan.
00:03:13I'm still surprised you got the rights.
00:03:15Hongsworth is a real bulldog.
00:03:18Hold up.
00:03:19What's happening?
00:03:20What right?
00:03:22Houston, we have a pen.
00:03:26Uh-oh.
00:03:27Slide oversight here.
00:03:28It turns out that the Yugletch is actually a quite well-known existing English children's book character,
00:03:33created by Sir B.B.B. Honsworth.
00:03:36The Yugletch was voted the third best Briton of all time,
00:03:38has a chain of department stores,
00:03:41two airports named in his honour,
00:03:42and he can be found on the back of every ten pence coin.
00:03:45Suffice to say,
00:03:47Jess had somehow failed to include the Yugletch
00:03:49in my official dossier on the British way of life.
00:03:53I thought I got everything.
00:03:58I hope one day I can forgive her.
00:04:01How can I bring together the people of the Empire
00:04:03if I'm totally ignorant of their beautiful culture?
00:04:05Sam, he's like a national treasure.
00:04:07We had to memorise the books at school.
00:04:09There's 50 of them.
00:04:10I mean, this fella's got a reasonable selection,
00:04:13but he's missing all the classics.
00:04:15The Yuglet takes Rhodesia.
00:04:17Rhodesia?
00:04:17Yeah, that one got me through my divorce.
00:04:19Have you been living under a fucking rock?
00:04:21That's a pretty serious allegation.
00:04:23Man, the Yuglet seems like he has a lot of wisdom.
00:04:26I wish we had him in Australia,
00:04:27instead of Melanie Pelican.
00:04:30Melanie, have you been out in the sun again?
00:04:32God, you are riddled with melanomas.
00:04:36Don't forget to wear sunscreens, kids!
00:04:39Poppins give me the willies.
00:04:41Look, we can just make the movie anyway.
00:04:42We'll just say he's a different kind of gnome.
00:04:44He's a forest friend.
00:04:47Last of the noble order of the elderflower hog imps.
00:04:50Last of his kind.
00:04:52Nice.
00:04:53Is that a serious suggestion?
00:04:55This is BBB Hunsworth.
00:04:57He's going to knock off a mile away.
00:04:58Do you want him to send him the suits?
00:05:01Can't be dealing with the suits.
00:05:03It felt like Ewan's dream was just out of reach.
00:05:06We'd need a miracle to get the rights.
00:05:10Thankfully, I'm in the miracle business.
00:05:12We tracked down BBB Hunsworth
00:05:14at his unlisted country estate.
00:05:18I mean, we should cut our losses.
00:05:20Sam, he hates visitors, like hates them.
00:05:23You know, he's not been seen in public
00:05:25since he tried to filibuster the Good Friday Agreement.
00:05:27Listen, I made a promise to that sweet Ewan.
00:05:30Not just to him,
00:05:31but to these British Isles.
00:05:33We all call home.
00:05:36Winnie, don't vomit.
00:05:37Do we have some kitchen roll?
00:05:39Sorry.
00:05:40It's just pre-Huldworth's nose.
00:05:42The man is a god to me.
00:05:44I'll be alright once I'm inside.
00:05:46Inside his house.
00:05:47Jesus.
00:05:48His actual house.
00:05:53Sorry.
00:05:54If only we had some sheets of kitchen roll.
00:05:57Winnie, maybe you should set this one out.
00:05:59I'll look after him.
00:06:00No!
00:06:01Winnie, you've twice vomited.
00:06:03No, Winnie, no.
00:06:03What if you freak out and get a stiffy?
00:06:04You can't take this away from me, no!
00:06:06Wait outside.
00:06:08Sam!
00:06:09With the only British-born members of the crew recovering outside,
00:06:12we'd have to work hard to assimilate.
00:06:14It was a privilege
00:06:15to see a traditional dipping ceremony up close.
00:06:26I found your email to be morbidly offensive.
00:06:30I'm simply not in the business of prostituting out my beloved Youglet
00:06:33to every Tom, Dick, and Harry who wants to make a motion picture.
00:06:37Not after what happened last time.
00:06:39We're trying to grow up.
00:06:41Well...
00:06:42Oh, yes.
00:06:43This is not my first rude-io,
00:06:45as those fat Americans say.
00:06:47Thank the Lord we stopped that abomination.
00:06:50Can you believe they put my sweet,
00:06:51nubile Youglet
00:06:52in a baseball cap?
00:06:56Lucky bastards.
00:06:58Oh, what are we doing?
00:06:59Let's get in there, Pat.
00:07:01He can't see me.
00:07:02What?
00:07:03Didn't want to say anything,
00:07:05but I've got a bit of a history.
00:07:07With Hunsworth.
00:07:09Back when I was running game with my Uncle Pat.
00:07:11Your uncle's called Pat as well?
00:07:14Everyone in my family is.
00:07:16We slightly borrowed the Youglet's branding
00:07:18for a business venture.
00:07:24You silly bitch!
00:07:26I had tickets for that.
00:07:28Totally ruined my 19th.
00:07:30These flash-new characters
00:07:32with their blue hair
00:07:34and bisexual tofu.
00:07:37That's not who we are.
00:07:40The Youglet is an Englishman.
00:07:42As English as fish and chips.
00:07:44Siggy and a Brompton.
00:07:46A thousand years on the West End.
00:07:47Yes, but...
00:07:48Of course, Johnny Foreigner doesn't get that.
00:07:51In truth,
00:07:53the only way that I would green-light
00:07:54a Youglet picture
00:07:55is if I knew it was going to be done properly,
00:07:58faithful to the source material,
00:08:00and with an entirely British crew,
00:08:03on screen and behind the camera.
00:08:08Oh, I simply couldn't have put it better myself,
00:08:12my lordship.
00:08:15That's exactly...
00:08:16That's exactly right.
00:08:18To be fair,
00:08:19I'm not being funny.
00:08:20You alright, love?
00:08:22Probably just having our in,
00:08:23actually.
00:08:25Love Stonehenge.
00:08:26Born and raised Stonehenge,
00:08:28myself, cafe culture.
00:08:29Absolutely bonkers,
00:08:31oi oi.
00:08:33Don't mind if I use the toilet
00:08:34on the way out.
00:08:37Love to have a go
00:08:38with the bloody toilet.
00:08:50I had no idea.
00:08:52Fellow countrymen.
00:08:56My darlings.
00:08:58Winnie,
00:08:59you weren't wrong.
00:09:00Hunsworth is a true gentleman
00:09:01of the Crumpington Order.
00:09:03His entrustings
00:09:05shall not be in vain.
00:09:06Don't tell me that.
00:09:07At least lie about him.
00:09:08What do you want about?
00:09:09He said yes.
00:09:10You got the rights.
00:09:10We got the rights.
00:09:11I just got my first kiss,
00:09:13right off top.
00:09:14A kiss
00:09:15from Hornsworth.
00:09:17That's it.
00:09:19Let's get back in there.
00:09:20Let's get back in there.
00:09:21Winnie, no.
00:09:22Winnie, no.
00:09:23With Hornsworth's bless it,
00:09:25nothing could stop us
00:09:26from bringing the euglet
00:09:27to the big screen.
00:09:29Now enough classic banter.
00:09:30Time for some footy.
00:09:42Be careful,
00:09:43he's an old dog.
00:09:44What's for lunch then?
00:09:45I'm rather peckish for lunch.
00:09:47Oh, I got sushi.
00:09:49No, no, ditch that.
00:09:50Roast dinner's all round.
00:09:51It's got to be.
00:09:54He lives.
00:09:56Be euglet.
00:09:57Make it go, Sebastian.
00:09:59Fire it up.
00:10:02Sam, I'm a little uneasy about this.
00:10:04Sebastian, you're always going on
00:10:05about puppets.
00:10:06You love puppetry.
00:10:07We may have got our wires crossed
00:10:09a little bit.
00:10:09They are my main phobia
00:10:11of the 12 major phobias.
00:10:14It's for you, Cliff.
00:10:16Wow.
00:10:17Can you speak?
00:10:18Make him, um,
00:10:19make him say my name.
00:10:21Say his name.
00:10:22Say my name.
00:10:23Say my name.
00:10:24Just say it.
00:10:25Right now.
00:10:26Say it.
00:10:27You will say his name.
00:10:28You will say my name.
00:10:29Say his name.
00:10:30Say my name.
00:10:31Now.
00:10:37I love you, Ewan.
00:10:41Oh, fuck.
00:10:42That is good.
00:10:44All right, lads.
00:10:45Let's get you into makeup, huh?
00:10:46Can you put a spell on me?
00:10:47Can you fly?
00:10:48All right, fella.
00:10:49My turn.
00:10:51Bring it in.
00:10:52Bring it in.
00:10:52Bring it in.
00:10:54Bring it in.
00:10:54Bring it in.
00:10:55Bring it in.
00:10:56Bring it in.
00:10:59Bring it in.
00:10:59Oh.
00:11:02Wimney.
00:11:03Oh.
00:11:04Hmm.
00:11:05Hmm.
00:11:13What can I get for you, Missy?
00:11:14Jog on.
00:11:15Oh, that's no way to say hello to your uncle, is it?
00:11:19Enjoyed your article?
00:11:21Always good to see a Pat in the paper.
00:11:23You got the keys to the kingdom.
00:11:25The Euclid is ours at last.
00:11:27We're back in business.
00:11:28I don't work for you anymore, Pat.
00:11:29I've gone legit.
00:11:30Who's doing your merch?
00:11:32Knocked up a few samples, I have.
00:11:34Aye.
00:11:34Aye.
00:11:36Let's collab, Pat.
00:11:37Pat, I'd have to check the call sheet.
00:11:40I'm not sure we need a two-bit con man who smells like a puddle.
00:11:44You know, I didn't have the time of my life in prison.
00:11:46But they never caught you, though, did they?
00:11:48Funny, that.
00:11:50Pat, where you at?
00:11:52Sorry.
00:11:53That's my boss.
00:11:55The dog drank a body tits.
00:11:57Is that bad?
00:11:57Change your mind.
00:11:59No!
00:11:59Change your mind.
00:12:00Come here.
00:12:01Change your mind.
00:12:04Hey, cheeky.
00:12:06I know what you're thinking.
00:12:07You want an ice cream, don't you?
00:12:09I'll get you one.
00:12:09What do you want?
00:12:10Nah.
00:12:11You know what?
00:12:12Saving myself for this roast.
00:12:16He would probably have been repulsed by me.
00:12:20Another creepy yughead drooling all over him.
00:12:23Oh.
00:12:24You couldn't be more wrong, sir.
00:12:28Mr. Honsworth would be proud to call you a forest friend.
00:12:32Oh.
00:12:33You see me.
00:12:35What kind of kid doesn't want an ice cream?
00:12:39Excuse me, this is private.
00:12:51There you are.
00:12:57That's different.
00:13:17What is that?
00:13:19Is that a dog?
00:13:23His name's the Euclid.
00:13:25He wants to help us.
00:13:27Mate, we've got a massive match this month.
00:13:33I think I just found that secret weapon.
00:13:37He's got abilities.
00:14:01I'd like to incorporate a new tactic.
00:14:06Kindness.
00:14:07If the midfielders could just employ a gentle...
00:14:12Sebastian, I can see your mouth moving.
00:14:14It looks fake.
00:14:15Yeah, but I'm not even on screen.
00:14:17You're still doing it.
00:14:19What's the issue?
00:14:20I'm not on camera.
00:14:22Just don't move your mouth when you talk.
00:14:24I think ventriloquism can take years to master.
00:14:27They should really teach it in schools.
00:14:31Nathan, is it?
00:14:33Quick word?
00:14:36Nobody likes when footballers get political, yeah?
00:14:39Sure.
00:14:40Excuse me!
00:14:43The suits?
00:14:44I can't be dealing with the suits.
00:14:47Sam Campbell?
00:14:48Yeah?
00:14:49You are in breach of copyright law.
00:14:52No, no.
00:14:52There's been a mistake.
00:14:53We had an agreement with Mr. Hansworth.
00:14:55Mr. Hansworth embraced us.
00:14:56A kiss on the top of the head isn't legally binding.
00:14:59Top of the head?
00:15:01Our client is not of sound mind.
00:15:03He couldn't give you the rights even if he wanted to.
00:15:05They belong to the board of trustees.
00:15:07Mr. Hansworth only has permission to appear next to the character
00:15:09in his commercials for prescription strength deodorant.
00:15:13In fact, there are grounds to file a lawsuit against you
00:15:16for mental distress to our client.
00:15:18No comment.
00:15:19I know my rights.
00:15:20My client doesn't have to say anything
00:15:22without also getting to wear a nice suit.
00:15:43I ask that we may call a ploughman's truce.
00:15:46We stand together as brothers.
00:15:50May the sun never set on them.
00:15:55Meaningless.
00:15:56You have blatantly stolen our client's intellectual property.
00:15:59And that thing will need to be incinerated.
00:16:01Sebastian?
00:16:02Please, professional lawyers.
00:16:03This is all I have.
00:16:05I can't go back to my human form.
00:16:07When are we filming the penalty suit now?
00:16:09Hey?
00:16:10Help me.
00:16:10Ha ha.
00:16:11Go on.
00:16:12Tell him.
00:16:13Look this innocent child in the eye.
00:16:15And tell him his movie can't happen
00:16:17because we didn't get a certificate.
00:16:19Whatever it is.
00:16:21Child?
00:16:22What are you all about?
00:16:23Don't cry, Ewan.
00:16:25Don't let these bastards see you cry.
00:16:28I'm faulty.
00:16:30I'm faulty years old.
00:16:48Oh dear.
00:16:50You're 40?
00:16:51Why do you love the ooglet so much?
00:16:53You really are very thick.
00:16:55Do your research, mate.
00:16:56Everyone loves the ooglet.
00:16:57Oh, that's right.
00:16:59Here's an institution.
00:17:00Come along now, Mr. Hornsworth.
00:17:02Please, if you would,
00:17:03could you sign for an old fan?
00:17:07Oh, Christ.
00:17:08Go on, if you're quick.
00:17:10Ah, this young whippersnapper
00:17:11has dug up an old classic.
00:17:12The ooglet Fingers of Pygmy.
00:17:15Ah, that was a fun one.
00:17:17Um, where did you get these?
00:17:20Oh, I had most of these
00:17:21since I was knee-high to a grasshopper.
00:17:23I'd got the entire collection.
00:17:25The entire collection?
00:17:27Yes.
00:17:27Turns out a few of the old books
00:17:29had some pretty dicey titles,
00:17:31along with some rather troubling inscriptions.
00:17:34I agreed to hand over Winnie's box of evidence
00:17:36in exchange for the rights to the ooglet
00:17:38and 12 cases of the prescription-strength deodorant
00:17:41for a friend.
00:17:42Ewan made me realise
00:17:43football isn't about what happens on the pitch.
00:17:46It's about everyone in the terraces
00:17:47supporting their team.
00:17:49I sacked the players
00:17:50and started over.
00:17:52This one
00:17:53is for the fans.
00:18:06Big game on Sunday.
00:18:08So we thought we might pay a little visit
00:18:10to the ref.
00:18:12Ever since the ooglet took over the firm,
00:18:14we've been a bit more
00:18:15hands-on
00:18:16with our sport.
00:18:22There he is!
00:18:25Football!
00:18:26Yeah!
00:18:29Shame we had to ditch the Greenfield boys.
00:18:31Jess, you still have so much to learn.
00:18:33Those guys are bored losers.
00:18:35They'll never be legendary footballers
00:18:37like Messi
00:18:39or Ronaldo.
00:18:41Ah, looks like you were a bit quick
00:18:42to judge your Uncle Pat-Pat.
00:18:44Winnie,
00:18:45that man lives by the code
00:18:47of the fairground.
00:18:49Sam must have given him something.
00:18:56Well, there you have it.
00:18:57The Geeks have earned
00:18:58a well-deserved quarter.
00:18:59There will be celebrations
00:19:00in Gernsville tonight.
00:19:02That'll be £6.50, please, mate.
00:19:05Come on, mate!
00:19:06Come on, mate!
00:19:07Come on, mate!
00:19:08Come on, mate!
00:19:08Come on, mate!
00:19:13I didn't realise
00:19:14these pints were
00:19:14for the Euglet.
00:19:16These are on the house.
00:19:39Oh, Britannia!
00:19:42Britannia!
00:19:53Britannia!
00:19:54More suit!
00:19:55What now?
00:19:56Sam Campbell.
00:19:57Hello!
00:19:58We've seen what you've done.
00:20:02We're from the Home Office.
00:20:04We would like to offer you
00:20:05full British citizenship.
00:20:10I accept this honour.
00:20:12Everything I do
00:20:13is to further
00:20:14the British cause.
00:20:20Rule Britannia!
00:20:22Britannia!
00:20:23Rule the ways!
00:20:25Britain!
00:20:27Never, never, never,
00:20:28shall be saved!
00:20:39Look, Dad, it's the Euglet.
00:20:41Hello, Dad!
00:20:42Hello, boy!
00:20:43Are you ready to eat
00:20:44some nice ice cream?
00:20:46Aye!
00:20:46I can still see
00:20:47your fucking lips moving, mate!
00:20:49It looks fake!
00:20:51Pardon me.
00:20:53My name is Kabir.
00:20:55I'm a chauffeur
00:20:56with 65,000 miles on the clock.
00:20:59I am discreet.
00:21:02The man I help
00:21:03is Mr. Abin Archer.
00:21:05If I can choose anybody
00:21:07whose my job is to drive,
00:21:09I will choose him.
00:21:11Morning, Kabir.
00:21:12Morning, Mr. Abin Archer.
00:21:21He is such a great man.
00:21:23He never raises his voice
00:21:24and he never throws his food
00:21:26out of the window.
00:21:30Lately, Mr. Abin Archer
00:21:32is recovering from
00:21:33medical experience heart attack.
00:21:36I asked them
00:21:37if they could cut my heart out,
00:21:39give it to him,
00:21:40but this was not allowed.
00:21:42His doctor tells him
00:21:44he must slow down.
00:21:47Please create a movie
00:21:48about Mr. Abin Archer's
00:21:49amazing life story.
00:21:51You would be making
00:21:53a humble driver
00:21:54and a private equity fund manager
00:21:57very happy indeed.
00:22:00What a heartwarming person.
00:22:03Gee, it's not often
00:22:03you see somebody
00:22:04who admires their boss so much
00:22:05they want to make a movie
00:22:06for them.
00:22:06I don't trust him.
00:22:08What?
00:22:09He's as cute as a peach pie.
00:22:11No old money bags.
00:22:13Rich people give me the cribs.
00:22:15Bye.
00:22:23Bye.
00:22:28Bye.
00:22:34Bye.
00:22:38Run, brother.
00:22:41Hey, bye.
00:22:42And see what you do.
00:22:43Bye.
00:22:51With Mr Eblin Archer away for the week on business, we decided to surprise Kabir with
00:22:56a luxury drive in a limousine.
00:22:58This time, he'll be travelling in the back of the car.
00:23:08Treat yourself to some nibbles.
00:23:12Take off your gloves.
00:23:13Oh no, no, no.
00:23:14Never.
00:23:16Fascinating to see how the other half live.
00:23:19Alright for some, hey.
00:23:20Your parents own a Fortune 500 company.
00:23:25So give us the lowdown on Mr Eblin Archer.
00:23:28He's a great man.
00:23:29He even let me drive Uber over the weekend.
00:23:32Great boss.
00:23:33I suppose we're similar in that way.
00:23:35I'm always encouraging my crew to work on their own personal projects.
00:23:41Give us everything.
00:23:42What are his hobbies?
00:23:43Oh I couldn't possibly tell you that.
00:23:45It's a need to know basis.
00:23:47I would like to know.
00:23:48We're trying to tell his life story.
00:23:51What about, what's Mr Eblin Archer's first name?
00:23:55Stop.
00:23:56That's confidential information.
00:23:58He's a very private person.
00:24:00You don't have to protect him, Kabir.
00:24:02It's obvious he's in the New World Order.
00:24:07Really?
00:24:09It's disgusting.
00:24:10They all have these symbols.
00:24:11One of them wears a mask.
00:24:13There was a YouTube video about it, but it got taken down.
00:24:16Who took it down?
00:24:17Nobody knows.
00:24:19So they meet up.
00:24:20They meet up.
00:24:21I really like this angle.
00:24:22This is good.
00:24:23It's juicy.
00:24:24They get undressed.
00:24:25And they piss everywhere.
00:24:27No.
00:24:28And they lie down really, really close to the piss.
00:24:31And they close their eyes.
00:24:33And they start rubbing each other's lumps.
00:24:35And then they start, they start, they start, and then, and then they move.
00:24:39And there's a tube.
00:24:40And it makes some of the piss black.
00:24:44I'm sorry, I thought I was telling you about it.
00:24:47Yeah, yeah, that's what I mean.
00:24:48Because they don't want us to know.
00:24:51It's a bit far-fetched to me.
00:24:52I think you might have gone down to a YouTube rabbit hole.
00:24:55Your parents are probably involved.
00:24:57Yeah, I bet they eat raw meat out of each other's arseholes.
00:25:01Sebastian, that is disgusting.
00:25:02There's no evidence of that.
00:25:04Some poshios took me to a nightclub once.
00:25:07I went to the toilet.
00:25:09And you won't believe it, up on the wall, a condom machine.
00:25:14I bet your boss is knee-deep in all sorts of sordid clubs.
00:25:18I mean, he owned the wolf club.
00:25:25But I get in what I said.
00:25:27With a little persuasion, Kabir led us to Mr. Ebonatra's fortress of perversion.
00:25:32While I infiltrated the inner sanctum, Jess was fixating on an offhand comment.
00:25:36How cool is it that Sam wants us to work on our own stuff?
00:25:39Oh, he's so compassionate.
00:25:41Why can't you just give us a pay rise?
00:25:44You get paid?
00:25:46Not until February next year, that's right.
00:25:49Uh-huh, okay.
00:25:50Alright then, goodbye.
00:25:53And what do we have here?
00:25:55A symbol.
00:25:55A floor swastika.
00:25:57A clue.
00:25:58Kabir, what's all this?
00:26:00Relax, we just need to film an expose about Mr. Ebonatra.
00:26:03An expose about Mr. Ebonatra?
00:26:05I'm sorry, I meant to say a charming biopic about Mr. Ebonatra.
00:26:09Mr. Ebonatra hasn't notified us of any film crews.
00:26:12We do surprises.
00:26:13Well, the club is members only.
00:26:16If that isn't proof of disgusting scrotum-based pedophile rituals, I'm not sure what is.
00:26:22We shall become members.
00:26:24That would involve a rather substantial fee.
00:26:27Never you mind.
00:26:28The fee is something we can certainly provide.
00:26:34One moment.
00:26:38I'm thinking I'm going to show him Eleanor's bird bath.
00:26:42I wonder, do you think maybe he'd give me feedback on it?
00:26:46Who the fuck is Eleanor Birdbath?
00:26:52My short film, Eleanor's Birdbath.
00:26:57You guys said you'd read it.
00:27:01Oh, Eleanor's Birdbath.
00:27:03I was so sorry, Jessie.
00:27:05I thought you said something wildly different.
00:27:08Now's your chance.
00:27:09Where's Sebastian?
00:27:10As per usual, Sebastian had wandered off and been hit in the face by a golf ball.
00:27:15Sorry.
00:27:16I shouted it into mood, but he just stood there.
00:27:20How long was I out for?
00:27:22Did you finish the movie?
00:27:24Was it fun?
00:27:25Sebastian, we've just arrived.
00:27:27We've only been here 10 minutes.
00:27:28Oh, neat.
00:27:29In that case, I was thinking maybe I could try and be the director this week.
00:27:33The director?
00:27:34Yeah, what do you say?
00:27:35I think I'm ready to step up.
00:27:37What an intriguing concept.
00:27:39Ooh.
00:27:40I do worry it might be difficult to insure you now that you've got a brain injury.
00:27:45What about...
00:27:50Smoke?
00:27:50Smoke machine?
00:27:52Mmm, smoke machine.
00:27:54It's a pretty important job.
00:27:55No, it's not.
00:27:56I want to sit in the nice chair.
00:27:57I need your dad's credit card.
00:28:03What happened to your wallet?
00:28:04You've got to stop keeping it loose.
00:28:06Oh, loosey goosey.
00:28:09Your additional donation is very generous.
00:28:12It is our policy to conduct a background check.
00:28:14No problem.
00:28:17Very nice.
00:28:18We want all access here.
00:28:20All the secret entrances.
00:28:21Well, I'm happy for you to film everywhere except the function room.
00:28:24We're setting up for our big corporate weekender.
00:28:26Eh?
00:28:27Every year we honor our top performing executives.
00:28:30So you're telling me this place will be swarming with epstillions?
00:28:33Epstillions?
00:28:34Half Epstein, half Reptilian.
00:28:36No, I'm not saying that.
00:28:38Why not?
00:28:40Pretty interesting article.
00:28:42Yes, he almost hid the hole in one.
00:28:46Huh.
00:28:47Who's that?
00:28:48Bert.
00:28:50Bert.
00:28:50Bert?
00:28:51His father done everything for him.
00:28:54He is a disgraceful, shameful Bert.
00:28:58And who's that?
00:29:01Cartoon.
00:29:02Hey, I've been meaning to ask.
00:29:04You know how before in the limo...
00:29:06Oh my God.
00:29:07When he was stuffing his face?
00:29:09That was hard to watch.
00:29:13We've got to be so careful.
00:29:14I'm worried if any of these global elites even see him.
00:29:17They'll lose their sexual appetites entirely.
00:29:21I meant the personal projects.
00:29:22I mean he's not traditionally fugly.
00:29:24He's a bit of a mood killer.
00:29:26I could try covering him with a blanket.
00:29:29Jess.
00:29:30Brilliant.
00:29:33To expose the evil underbelly of the golf club,
00:29:36we needed to go deep undercover.
00:29:38G'day.
00:29:39Not sure we've been introduced.
00:29:41I'm Baby Murdoch.
00:29:43Bit of a billionaire if I may say so myself.
00:29:47May I offer you an oyster, son?
00:29:51No, thank you.
00:29:53That's very kind.
00:29:55This is my butler, Smidgen.
00:29:57Well done, Smidgen.
00:29:59Lovely to meet you.
00:30:01I take it you're here for the ceremony.
00:30:02What ceremony?
00:30:04Hey!
00:30:04My nanny, Miss Thwickert.
00:30:07The highest performing CEO award?
00:30:10Always a bit dry, aren't they?
00:30:11Yeah.
00:30:12Might duck my head in.
00:30:14Listen.
00:30:15Just between you and I,
00:30:16I'm desperate to unwind.
00:30:19My fifth wife.
00:30:20She's a real ball buster.
00:30:24Yes.
00:30:25I'm his wife.
00:30:26Daniella Rochella Sinclair.
00:30:28And I hope you don't mind,
00:30:29but I slept my way to the top.
00:30:32And that's just a blanket,
00:30:34I'm pretty sure.
00:30:36Well, who runs this place?
00:30:39Eblen Archer.
00:30:40Do you know him?
00:30:40What's he into?
00:30:41Does he like smearing?
00:30:43Injecting things up his gooch hole?
00:30:45No, it's not like that.
00:30:47It's more sacrifices,
00:30:49demon meetups,
00:30:50long wavy knives.
00:30:51Ahem.
00:30:51Miss Thwickert.
00:30:53Governor.
00:30:54He mostly keeps to himself.
00:30:57Andrew,
00:30:57do you know if Eblen Archer's into anything spicy?
00:31:01Hmm.
00:31:01Well, I can't say I've ever chatted to the man.
00:31:04His son seems to be going for a bit of a rough patch at the moment.
00:31:08Oh, hello.
00:31:11Sorry, I think we met before.
00:31:12Don't remember that.
00:31:14Oh.
00:31:15Sorry, do you mind not doing that?
00:31:16Okay.
00:31:18We're not here to play games.
00:31:19Well,
00:31:20all I can say about the man is he did have that,
00:31:22um,
00:31:24thing installed.
00:31:25Oh, yes.
00:31:26The machine that,
00:31:27uh,
00:31:28spins around.
00:31:35It allows driver to come in and out of the car park,
00:31:38without having to manually turn the car around.
00:31:41Mr. Eblen Archer is very proud of the car turn table.
00:31:45But what happens when you press the other button?
00:31:49Uh,
00:31:50probably slides across to reveal some-
00:31:52Underground suck palace.
00:31:54No,
00:31:54no,
00:31:55it's more likely it's a secret temple filled with bowls of blood.
00:31:58I don't think so.
00:31:59I believe it's a suckatorium with thousands of Alipatian guards,
00:32:02and they come over.
00:32:03Just make this stuff up.
00:32:05I've actually researched it online.
00:32:17It just went the other way.
00:32:19Time for some ads.
00:32:20And by the way,
00:32:21actually get some of these products.
00:32:22These are high quality products.
00:32:35I'm not seeing any smoke.
00:32:38I think it's broken.
00:32:40Can we swap?
00:32:41No, Sebastian.
00:32:42Alright, cut there.
00:32:44It looks really good.
00:32:46The most boring man in the world,
00:32:48getting driven around by the second most boring man in the world.
00:32:50Who wants to watch that?
00:32:53Hey,
00:32:54I was wondering-
00:32:55Why are you shaking?
00:32:56Uh, sorry.
00:32:57I accidentally wrote a short film.
00:32:59Um,
00:32:59Eleanor's Bird Bath.
00:33:01It's probably nothing,
00:33:02but I would just,
00:33:03I would love some notes on it.
00:33:04Would you look at it?
00:33:06This is a short film?
00:33:07It's as thick as the Holy Bible.
00:33:09I'll trim it down.
00:33:10Thank you so, so much.
00:33:12Can you give Dipstick a hand?
00:33:17Do you understand the metaphor?
00:33:19The sparrow is in fact
00:33:20the spirit of Eleanor's dead fiancé.
00:33:22Sebastian,
00:33:23press the button.
00:33:24He's running it!
00:33:27Kabir,
00:33:28how do you feel about trying some dialogue?
00:33:30Mr. Ebleen Archer
00:33:32prefers silence.
00:33:34He prefers silence?
00:33:35Well,
00:33:36we'd love you to say something.
00:33:38Like what?
00:33:39Anything.
00:33:53I've never done this before.
00:33:55Just talk!
00:33:56Improvise!
00:33:58Fu-
00:33:58Futurama?
00:34:01Soft drink?
00:34:02That's what you say?
00:34:03Is Futurama and soft drink?
00:34:07We need to get him some training.
00:34:09ASAP!
00:34:10We were forced to enrol Kabir
00:34:11in a level one improv course.
00:34:13Marty's the best.
00:34:15And then just repeat after me.
00:34:16Wah wah.
00:34:17Wah wah.
00:34:18Nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah.
00:34:20Nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah.
00:34:22And just...
00:34:24Ooh!
00:34:27Yes, yes, but it is rather large.
00:34:29I'm sorry, sir.
00:34:31We only make big clocks.
00:34:33Yes, you do.
00:34:34But I only came in for a scale and polish.
00:34:37I'm always adding stuff like that.
00:34:39Action!
00:34:40Yes, and did you hear about the person
00:34:42who bought an alarm clock that was too big?
00:34:45No, tell me more.
00:34:46First of all, they bought it from a dentist.
00:34:52Very funny for a dentist to sell alarm clock
00:34:55instead of with the teeth.
00:34:58Sebastian, easy on the smoke.
00:35:02Hey, turn it off!
00:35:04I'm trying!
00:35:05Sebastian!
00:35:06I can't!
00:35:07All right.
00:35:08Just turn it off!
00:35:08Turn it off!
00:35:13Let's just lose the smoke machine.
00:35:15Why would there even be smoke inside the car?
00:35:17Right?
00:35:19What do I do then?
00:35:22Maybe we can co-direct?
00:35:23Safety Brothers style.
00:35:24Might be best you sit this one out, buddy.
00:35:26Winnie?
00:35:35How can we liven this up?
00:35:37What do you think, Winnie?
00:35:39Should we go handheld?
00:35:43Let's just scrap this scene.
00:35:45It's not working.
00:35:45It's a turd!
00:35:46We'll get an early start tomorrow.
00:35:48Big finale.
00:35:49The heart attack.
00:35:51Oh, absolutely not.
00:35:52It's much too personal.
00:35:55He wouldn't want that to be in the movie.
00:35:59Give me another quick word.
00:36:01How can I make a bottle of wine if you won't give me a single gripe?
00:36:05I'm sorry, Mr. Derek there.
00:36:07I felt bad for shouting.
00:36:09And grabbing.
00:36:10But I wasn't the only one feeling frustrated.
00:36:12Sebastian was drowning his sorrows.
00:36:14Yes.
00:36:15Bartender.
00:36:16Fetch me another sack.
00:36:17Yes, sir.
00:36:20Yo, three more scotch and whiskies, please.
00:36:23Neat.
00:36:24Very well, Mr. Abel and Archer.
00:36:27You're the one they call Bert?
00:36:29That's right.
00:36:30Have you been watching me?
00:36:33You don't work for my dad, do you?
00:36:35No.
00:36:36Apparently I'm not allowed.
00:36:39These are all me, by the way.
00:36:45Bro, you know what's really funny?
00:36:47I used to have that same credit card, but then my dad took it for me.
00:36:55I think I like you.
00:37:01Bro, we have a great deal in common, I tell you that.
00:37:04If anything, my parents are holding me back.
00:37:07Sam acts like their money is the only reason I'm on the team.
00:37:10The only reason I'm not in charge is the green-eyed monster, a.k.a. jealousy.
00:37:15My dad is always riding me too hard.
00:37:19One time, I got so angry about it,
00:37:21I tried to punch a hole in my own head.
00:37:25And that's when they tried to lock me up.
00:37:28A.k.a. send me to art therapy class.
00:37:30What does that mean?
00:37:31I'll show you, bro.
00:37:36You make these?
00:37:37Yeah.
00:37:39They're fascinating.
00:37:40Thank you, bro.
00:37:42One day my dream is to become an amazing sculptor.
00:37:44Not Michelangelo.
00:37:46You know him?
00:37:47What's funny is I showed my dad these,
00:37:50and I told him I wanted to leave the family business,
00:37:54and he had a heart attack, man.
00:37:56Imagine that.
00:37:58Basically, no one is rocking with me anymore because of that.
00:38:01Not actually your fault.
00:38:03Nobody should live in someone else's shadow.
00:38:05From what I've researched and what I know,
00:38:07shadow is the absence of light.
00:38:10You're a good guy.
00:38:12Let's do another round, Ricky.
00:38:13Let's go.
00:38:14Come on, boys.
00:38:15I really need to close up.
00:38:17Ricky, I don't want to be a douchebag, man,
00:38:18but my dad kind of owns you, right?
00:38:20Right.
00:38:21Right, Ricky?
00:38:22That is right, yeah.
00:38:24So get us some more drinks, please.
00:38:26Right you are.
00:38:27And get some cheese for the boy.
00:38:29The next morning, I was at an all-time low.
00:38:32I was starting to wonder
00:38:33if there was even a single pedophile at the club.
00:38:36Hey, chin up.
00:38:38There's got to be one of this thing tonight.
00:38:41Thanks, Pat.
00:38:43Yeah.
00:38:44Surely there's a pedophile here.
00:38:46Pedophile.
00:38:48Pedophile.
00:38:49Pedophile.
00:38:50Pedophile.
00:38:51They've got very close-set eyes.
00:38:52No.
00:38:53They're sensitive to life.
00:38:53Uh-uh.
00:38:54What long necks?
00:38:55They're very misunderstood.
00:38:57I'm going to have to come clean here.
00:38:59I hadn't really done our homework on this one.
00:39:02My team and I have since gone through a series of briefings
00:39:04about this community
00:39:06from our employers at Channel 4
00:39:08who are not pedophiles.
00:39:10Hey, Sam.
00:39:11I made some amends to my script.
00:39:12I thought you were going to cut it down.
00:39:14Yeah, I tried, but then I had an idea
00:39:15for a subplot with the gardener.
00:39:17I've got time.
00:39:18You should read it now.
00:39:22Why no?
00:39:27Hmm.
00:39:29Jack's bread bath.
00:39:30Nice.
00:39:33Oh.
00:39:34Why didn't I think of that?
00:39:35That's good.
00:39:36Looks like we were onto something.
00:39:38Some bastards need my camera.
00:39:43The culprit?
00:39:44Sebastian.
00:39:45He was developing a nasty habit
00:39:47of lying on the ground in disgrace.
00:39:49Oh.
00:39:50Methinks a bender?
00:39:52Huh?
00:39:52We've all been there.
00:39:55Sebastian.
00:39:56I'm livid.
00:39:58I'm ashamed.
00:40:00Hey, what's up, guys?
00:40:01I'm Bert.
00:40:02You've been playing with my tackle.
00:40:08Bro, you were kind of nice with the camera, man.
00:40:10I played with it when people were sleeping, man.
00:40:12You didn't get permission for this.
00:40:14Yo, Ricky, get on this shit.
00:40:15Try it.
00:40:15Ricky.
00:40:22This is creepy.
00:40:32Bro, I don't know if I like...
00:40:33I don't know if I like what you're doing there.
00:40:35Don't be sucking on me.
00:40:37Nasty, nasty.
00:40:38Bro, I got an idea.
00:40:40Let's go make something, bro.
00:40:41I thought we had an agreement!
00:40:43I want that thing out of there.
00:40:45What?
00:40:53What is this?
00:40:54A big red breast?
00:40:56Commander for you.
00:40:58That's it.
00:40:58No more personal projects.
00:41:06And who is this?
00:41:08Could be a...
00:41:08No, no, no.
00:41:09Let's look at that harness.
00:41:11Don't look at that.
00:41:11I'll give you 400 pounds for it.
00:41:14More if you can get me the full pair.
00:41:161,000 pounds.
00:41:18It makes me rock hard.
00:41:211,500 with VAT.
00:41:23Henderson, I need this more than you do.
00:41:242,000 pounds.
00:41:26800.
00:41:27That's less.
00:41:28So what?
00:41:295,000 pounds.
00:41:31I need this more than you do.
00:41:32I need this more than you do.
00:41:34I need this more than you do.
00:41:34Daddy?
00:41:38Sebastian, that's their moment, I think.
00:41:40So basically, Mr. Ebenarcha's meeting in Zurich got pushed back.
00:41:44He flew home and ruined our surprise.
00:41:46We didn't get a chance to finish the movie.
00:41:49So we had to make do with Sebastian's footage.
00:41:51I hate you!
00:41:53I hate you!
00:41:55Die!
00:41:56Die!
00:41:57Die!
00:41:59Mr. Ebenarcha said that Kabir had crossed the line and sadly made the decision to let him
00:42:04go.
00:42:05the other way, the water send off.
00:42:19I believe in miracles
00:42:23They happen all the time
00:42:28I try to make a movie for you
00:42:33All about your life
00:42:37In my mind I'm driving
00:42:39And you're there right behind me
00:42:42Just downtown
00:42:43With a window's down
00:42:46People passing by saying
00:42:49Hey, I like that guy
00:42:50But we can't stop
00:42:52We've got somewhere to be
00:42:57We've got somewhere to be
00:43:10This is a very special episode of Make That Movie
00:43:13Last night, authorities were alerted to what has now been classified as a national emergency
00:43:19A young couple, identified as Philip and Robin Noonan, were taking part in a commercial tour of the Crendley Grotto
00:43:25Caves
00:43:26After becoming separated from their group, a flash flood has left the newlyweds trapped underground
00:43:31A full-scale rescue operation is currently underway
00:43:35Every second counts
00:43:37I have been chosen to make an original movie for the couple
00:43:41To lift their spirits as they fight for their lives
00:43:46Noonans, you are not alone
00:43:53I know this wasn't in the diary
00:43:55But this is a big one
00:43:56It's all over the news
00:43:58It's actually a very shocking situation
00:44:00Please be respectful
00:44:02So sorry about that
00:44:04Sorry, my sisters
00:44:05I was supposed to meet them at the airport
00:44:07Huh?
00:44:08No, it's nothing
00:44:09We were just going to hike the Camino de Santiago
00:44:11This kind of pilgrimage thing
00:44:14Stupid
00:44:14Oh, you've been planning that for months
00:44:18All nine sisters taking the Camino
00:44:21Yeah
00:44:22This fucking job
00:44:24Oh, spare me
00:44:25There's going to be other bottomless brunches, Pat
00:44:27Yeah, whatever
00:44:29Let's get a move on
00:44:30Can I use the toilet real quick?
00:44:32Sebastian, they said if it rains again, they'll definitely die
00:44:35Of course
00:44:36Come on
00:45:10Time was of the essence as we descended upon the rescue side
00:45:15The emergency response team could breathe a sigh of relief
00:45:18The cavalry had arrived
00:45:20And they were cave ready
00:45:28First things first
00:45:29I needed to strategise with the head of the operation
00:45:31Dina
00:45:32A lady who I believe is some sort of dirt scientist
00:45:36Not to say really
00:45:37Okay, so we've established a pilot shop crew
00:45:39To deliver food, water and medicine
00:45:41Now the decision we need to land on
00:45:43Is whether or not we expand the passage from above
00:45:44Or we drill through the rock to the eastern side of the cave
00:45:47Question
00:45:48How loud is this drilling going to be?
00:45:51You're the movie guy who unplugged the generator
00:45:53You should get one with more sockets
00:45:55Yeah
00:45:56Can I ask who requested your department's involvement?
00:45:58It came from the top
00:46:00Are you from New Zealand?
00:46:04Dina
00:46:04We've got a picture
00:46:05Okay
00:46:07Where are we going?
00:46:09A hydraulic winch can pull three tons
00:46:11It's the best in the world
00:46:12And who's looking after Apricot?
00:46:15Oh, is Apricot okay?
00:46:17Is he scared?
00:46:18Apricot, is that a pet?
00:46:20Hello?
00:46:21Apologies for that
00:46:22We're daisy-chaining the transmitters
00:46:24Can you hear us?
00:46:25It's coming
00:46:26Ladies
00:46:27How are you holding up?
00:46:28We're surviving
00:46:29I love that
00:46:30I'm Sam Campbell
00:46:32Head of entertainment on this one
00:46:34I'm going to be making a movie for you guys
00:46:36Keep you going down there
00:46:38That is actually not something we
00:46:39Oh, wow
00:46:41Hello?
00:46:42The connection keeps dropping
00:46:44Is that better?
00:46:45Hot chocolate
00:46:45For you
00:46:46Oh, you should have just gone back to Disneyland Paris
00:46:49Look, this briefing is for essential contributors
00:46:51So you and your team need to leave
00:46:53Dina
00:46:53Where are the toilets up in this cave?
00:46:57Hey, the people
00:46:59I can't believe what's happening to you
00:47:01Very shocking
00:47:02I swear, I'm suing that tour guide
00:47:05Look, it's very important
00:47:06That you tell me what the diameter
00:47:08It didn't say anywhere on the website
00:47:09We weren't allowed to be barefoot in the cave
00:47:11Barefoot?
00:47:14It's a human, right?
00:47:15Okay, I'm going to have to interject here
00:47:17There's medical research
00:47:18People who choose to wear shoes
00:47:20Often have weaker, deformed feet
00:47:22They resent us
00:47:23It's getting harder and harder to coexist
00:47:24With the shoe community
00:47:25I wish someone told me
00:47:27I'd be talking to some fellow barefooters
00:47:30Oh my god
00:47:31No way
00:47:32He was just wearing shoes
00:47:33I don't think so
00:47:34I've been a barefooter for 15 years
00:47:36Never looked back
00:47:37Wait, is the movie going to be about the course?
00:47:39No, nobody is making a movie, okay?
00:47:42We can send you down a movie that already exists
00:47:45What are you into?
00:47:46Moana 2?
00:47:48We've already seen it
00:47:49If my memory serves me correctly
00:47:51I believe Moana is barefoot
00:47:55I like the sound of this guy
00:47:56He sounds playful
00:47:57And so
00:47:59Will our movie be animated?
00:48:01What's the idea?
00:48:02The idea?
00:48:06What were we thinking?
00:48:08Oh, um
00:48:09So
00:48:10So it's a movie
00:48:11It's definitely about feet
00:48:12It's a
00:48:13And it's a family of feet
00:48:14And they are going on a journey
00:48:16And then they
00:48:17All of a sudden
00:48:18There's this hand
00:48:19And a giant
00:48:20End up
00:48:20This giant hand
00:48:21Really mean hand
00:48:23And then it comes up to them
00:48:24And then it says
00:48:25You're going to wear shoes
00:48:26And then they go
00:48:27No!
00:48:28So then there's a big fight
00:48:29But the shoes
00:48:30Lose and the feet win
00:48:36Thank you
00:48:37So much
00:48:38You ever been to Costa Coffee?
00:48:41Yeah
00:48:42You know how they got
00:48:44The big cup outside?
00:48:46Uh-huh
00:48:47I once got trapped
00:48:48Inside of one of those
00:48:51Yeah
00:48:52We've lost the feet
00:48:56How have you been?
00:48:58While I said about
00:48:59Installing Final Draft
00:49:00On Dina's special computers
00:49:02Pat took a quick breather
00:49:03Above ground
00:49:05And who's this?
00:49:08I'll borrow your lighter
00:49:12Do you want a cigarette?
00:49:14I don't touch it
00:49:17I try and stare at an open flame
00:49:19At least once a day
00:49:22I'm apricot
00:49:23Hat
00:49:25It's whether you're a friend of the Noonans
00:49:27Or
00:49:28A bit more than that
00:49:29I'm their third
00:49:32We're in a polycule
00:49:33Obel phrase
00:49:34Cheers
00:49:36So uh
00:49:36Do you think they'll get out of there
00:49:38Or what?
00:49:38You know I've got couples already
00:49:40Sniffing round
00:49:41Hey apricot
00:49:42I heard you're back on the market
00:49:44Why don't you show us a good time?
00:49:48Careful there's broken glass
00:49:55It wasn't just the Noonans loved ones
00:49:57Holding their breath
00:49:58It seemed like the whole world
00:49:59Was watching our mission unfold
00:50:01The movie's already getting a ton of buzz
00:50:03The Barefoot Brigade are really getting behind us
00:50:06Look at all these messages
00:50:07I mean you did hold a press conference
00:50:09Even Barefoot celebrities are reaching out
00:50:11They want to help in any way they can
00:50:13I thought our thing was working with regular people
00:50:15Ooh
00:50:17Mind you to have a quick word with Winnie
00:50:23Do you hear?
00:50:24They want a cartoon
00:50:26Anything is possible in the world of animation
00:50:31Yeah it hurts my eyes
00:50:32Winnie um just real quick
00:50:33Sam needs you to stand down
00:50:35Jesse what are you on about?
00:50:36I'm really sorry
00:50:38Just a second
00:50:40Might not be my wheelhouse
00:50:41But I can do some colouring in
00:50:43The Barefoot Defence League have done some digging
00:50:45And they found out you worked at Foot Locker
00:50:47Winnie?
00:50:48Is that true?
00:50:49I did one trial shift
00:50:51During Covid
00:50:52I was at a loose end
00:50:55You can't do this
00:50:56Please
00:50:57Where will I go?
00:51:00It's my life kiddo
00:51:03You're all mad
00:51:06I'll show you
00:51:08How's that?
00:51:10This guy Sebastian has always rubbed me the wrong way
00:51:13But his foot was perfect
00:51:15Yep
00:51:15I have more fun with it
00:51:16I installed him as chief concept artist
00:51:18And set about filling out our animation division
00:51:22Now I'm not asking anyone to jump ship
00:51:24God no
00:51:26But when was the last time you just drew something for fun?
00:51:28Remember when you were a kid?
00:51:29Box of crayons
00:51:30That's all we needed
00:51:31Mum's so proud she whacks it on the fridge
00:51:33I started making a graphic novel when I was at uni
00:51:35Excuse me
00:51:36That's amazing
00:51:37If you've got a window
00:51:38I'd love to see you have a crack at a storyboard
00:51:40Why do they call it a storyboard?
00:51:43If it's a great story
00:51:44I'm never bored
00:51:46Sebastian
00:51:46People are in the cave
00:51:49I'm going to need you to return to your allocated nook
00:51:55Hey, you know how many of these rescues?
00:51:58We've probably done about four on the scale
00:52:00I've made over 50 movies
00:52:07It's my birthday in September
00:52:10Dina's underlings were finally getting a taste of real leadership
00:52:13I'd fostered a really creative atmosphere
00:52:15And before long we'd assembled Footopia's opening vignette
00:52:18A long time ago
00:52:20In a land unlike any
00:52:22You and I have ever seen
00:52:24Lived a family
00:52:25Of travelling feet
00:52:26They skipped and hopped and tiptoed in harmony
00:52:31Bound only by a sacred pact
00:52:34Of pure
00:52:35Unrestricted
00:52:36Freedom
00:52:40Unbeknownst to these gentle creatures
00:52:42A darkness stirred
00:52:47Thirsty for power
00:52:49Determined to shackle all that is good
00:52:51The hand
00:52:53Comes to us all
00:52:57It's a masterpiece
00:52:59There's no other word for it
00:53:01Thanks for coming at such short notice, Debbie McGee
00:53:03Wild horses wouldn't have kept me away
00:53:05Anything for the moon
00:53:06So will the feats have to leave the homeland
00:53:09Or will they stay in faith?
00:53:11Well, first things first
00:53:12I'm going to need some celebs to provide the voices
00:53:15You want us to play at the feats?
00:53:18Oh my god
00:53:20The Noonans are going to be so grateful you've come on board
00:53:23Pat
00:53:24This is our sound recordist
00:53:25She's going to set you up in a recording booth
00:53:27Down in dazzling Soho
00:53:29You what?
00:53:30Lay down some tracks
00:53:31I've got to go all the way to fucking Soho
00:53:34Lose the attitude
00:53:34Is Jess driving?
00:53:36I need her to keep this Dina woman off my back
00:53:41Oh, you're heading back to the city?
00:53:43Let me grab a lift
00:53:44Yeah, sure
00:53:45No worries
00:53:46I love your work
00:53:47I'm DJing at Prince
00:53:49Early set
00:53:50God, I was there just last week
00:53:52What's this?
00:53:53Footprints
00:53:54It's a nightclub that caters to the barefoot clientele
00:53:59Very trendy
00:54:00Come with
00:54:01I'm doing the early set
00:54:04Maybe I can get you some free drinks
00:54:05That sounds so fun
00:54:07But we're recording voices for the foot tribe
00:54:09And we're racing against the clock
00:54:11You know what?
00:54:12Let's do it
00:54:13I'm sure we've got time for one drink
00:54:17I'm apricot, by the way
00:54:22The next day I awoke to find the rescue team had gone out of their way to rush ahead of
00:54:26our production
00:54:27I knew if the Noonans escaped before seeing my movie, they'd be crushed
00:54:32They were counting on me
00:54:33Hey, I'm a little uneasy about the hand
00:54:35Hands are notoriously difficult to draw
00:54:37Everybody knows that
00:54:38You knew that going in
00:54:39I haven't heard from Winnie
00:54:40Should we be worried?
00:54:43Finally
00:54:47Bus fell over
00:54:48Really upsetting
00:54:49Pat was clearly buckling under the pressure
00:54:52And she wasn't the only one
00:54:54This is so intense
00:54:55Listen, I want you to take a breather
00:54:56I just can't seem to calibrate the drill bit
00:54:59It just needs
00:54:59It's fine, don't worry
00:55:00Okay, go for a walk
00:55:01Take as long as you need
00:55:02That's an order
00:55:04Are you sure?
00:55:05You are so much more important to me with a clear head
00:55:07Okay?
00:55:08We got this
00:55:09Everything's going to be okay
00:55:24Sound is a little crunchy
00:55:25Where did you record this?
00:55:27I got a beef
00:55:28We've got a beef!
00:55:41We have to find the secret chain
00:55:44This is horrible
00:55:49Have you been drinking?
00:55:51Oh, at a time like this?
00:55:54Alcohol, I presume?
00:55:56Pat, you've really let me down
00:55:57It's not a big deal
00:55:59Are you on something?
00:56:00You are!
00:56:01You're pinging!
00:56:02Your eyes are UFO
00:56:03Shut up, man!
00:56:04This is unacceptable behaviour
00:56:06You're dismissed
00:56:07Effective immediately
00:56:09Got the link out to the Noonans
00:56:10I'm coming, Noonans!
00:56:12With no usable audio
00:56:14And an estimated 900,000 drawings left to complete
00:56:17I needed to buy us some time
00:56:19I wish someone told me feature length animation can take weeks
00:56:23How's the movie looking?
00:56:24We have good news
00:56:25Debbie McGee is attached
00:56:26We're going to get you out today
00:56:28Today?
00:56:30We've neutralised the eastern tunnel
00:56:31So there is still a risk of falling debris
00:56:32So as soon as we reach you
00:56:33We'll get you secured in PPE
00:56:34Then our team will take you back through the tunnel
00:56:36To our Phoenix capsules
00:56:38Ideally, we would have sourced a model
00:56:39That could fit both of you at the same time
00:56:41But that shouldn't...
00:56:41I don't want to mess up
00:56:42Yeah, this seems really dangerous
00:56:45We can get a bigger Phoenix, we can do that
00:56:47Is this going to work?
00:56:48Like, what's the proper, um...
00:56:52How do we know if...
00:56:54What is the actual chance of full survival?
00:56:56Is what he's trying to say
00:56:57Under these circumstances
00:56:58What percentage?
00:57:00There are a lot of factors
00:57:01Please, give us a percentile!
00:57:0393%
00:57:04Don't love those odds
00:57:06No, we'd be much more comfortable with 100%
00:57:09You lot will have to head back to the old drawing board
00:57:11Few adjustments, calculations
00:57:14We need you to guarantee 100%
00:57:15That is impossible to do
00:57:17We cannot legally tell you 100%
00:57:19That's what we want to work with
00:57:21Um, we don't mind it
00:57:22As long as we're out by Christmas
00:57:23Christmas?
00:57:25Well, stay put, thanks, Dina
00:57:27We can't miss Fit Topia
00:57:32We are this close
00:57:35You are jeopardising this entire mission!
00:57:37Dina was becoming very passionate
00:57:39She and I had a bit of a
00:57:41Will they, won't they thing going on
00:57:43Get out of my side!
00:57:43Now!
00:57:46The Noonans would need to stay put
00:57:48While I shifted our production into hyperdrive
00:57:50Speed up, mate
00:57:51I'd like to raise a concern
00:57:53No time
00:57:54Sam, I have to address the unfair treatment
00:57:56She was on drugs
00:57:58Her eyes were as big as dinner plates
00:58:00No, I'm not talking about...
00:58:01The old man was slowing us down
00:58:02What?
00:58:03No!
00:58:03I don't feel comfortable with us portraying all hands as evil
00:58:08What?
00:58:09I'd like to introduce the character
00:58:13The baby hand princess
00:58:15She falls in love with the little foot
00:58:17They broker a peace treaty
00:58:20Great
00:58:25It's Jess, right?
00:58:26Yeah
00:58:27I respect that you're trying to help out here
00:58:29But this isn't a game, okay?
00:58:32Have you seen the forecast?
00:58:33Totally, of course
00:58:33Yeah, but I think they're just adding the finishing touches
00:58:36Why don't I believe you?
00:58:38Well
00:58:39You only have about a minute and a half done
00:58:41Don't tell him I said that
00:58:42Oh my god
00:58:43I'm sorry
00:58:45It's just
00:58:45It's his process
00:58:46I...
00:58:47Can I get you anything?
00:58:48Hot chocolate?
00:58:50How do you put up with that?
00:58:53Publicly, the Dalai Lama condemned the project
00:58:57But privately, he told me he loved it
00:59:03Any questions?
00:59:05Train tracks, what do you got?
00:59:07Um, hey, sorry
00:59:09I'm nervous
00:59:10You're my favourite film director ever
00:59:13Um, I...
00:59:15Yeah, when you go to make a movie
00:59:17Gonna stop you there
00:59:18I have never made a movie
00:59:20Never will
00:59:22It is always a team effort
00:59:24Always
00:59:25Next question
00:59:27Look
00:59:28We're just trying to save these people's lives
00:59:30Now, I know this is not an easy position to be in
00:59:33But if there is any way
00:59:34You can make him stop
00:59:38It's just confusing
00:59:39The hands have to be evil
00:59:41Hands are somewhat evil
00:59:42They point at you
00:59:44The fist is a hand
00:59:45They can be nice
00:59:46They wave at you
00:59:48They touch gently
00:59:50They give vouchers
00:59:51It's not up for discussion
00:59:52You're messing with my idea
00:59:53Your idea?
00:59:54Yeah
00:59:55You didn't come up with it
00:59:57You never do
00:59:58I beg your pardon
00:59:59You're a leech
01:00:01You don't care about other people
01:00:03You take their ideas
01:00:04And then you boss everyone around
01:00:05I've got plenty of ideas for movies
01:00:07Thank you
01:00:09Like what?
01:00:12Fine, we'll do hand princess
01:00:14She intrigues me
01:00:15Say one original movie idea
01:00:19I will
01:00:25I'm waiting
01:00:26And I'm ready
01:00:26It's all set at Christmas
01:00:29Because it is a
01:00:29But because it's a Christmas movie
01:00:31Because that's near the end of the year
01:00:33So everyone's getting together
01:00:34And there's just this real
01:00:36Word
01:00:37It is the season
01:00:38So listen
01:00:39Honestly
01:00:40Because
01:00:44You know what?
01:00:45You are a thorn in my side
01:00:47You're sad
01:00:48I plan to choke you
01:00:58Sam
01:00:58I need you to sit down
01:01:00Kindly escort this dickhead out of my nook
01:01:03They're gone
01:01:04They have died
01:01:07Huh?
01:01:08The Noonans
01:01:10There was a tremor in the cave
01:01:12And a rock fell on their heads
01:01:15So they've died
01:01:17It's really sad
01:01:18We have to go now
01:01:19Jess
01:01:20What are you talking
01:01:21I'm not
01:01:23It's all my fault
01:01:24No
01:01:25No, no, not at all
01:01:26Are you sure they're dead?
01:01:27They might just be a little bit squished
01:01:29They're not squished
01:01:30They're dead
01:01:31We know for a fact
01:01:32They've died
01:01:33Completely
01:01:35Yeah
01:01:35We just
01:01:36Couldn't reach them in time
01:01:39It's all over Red Rover
01:01:41You have to go
01:01:43It's illegal to say 100%
01:01:47We can't give up
01:01:48Don't just stand there
01:01:49We have to help them
01:01:52What happened to the world
01:02:00What happened
01:02:05To the years
01:02:23Sam?
01:02:24Sam, are you okay?
01:02:28I
01:02:30Like
01:02:34Movies
01:02:44He's awake
01:02:47Apricor
01:02:50Mernens
01:02:51Am I in the kingdom of heaven?
01:02:55Put a big crystal near your head
01:02:57I think it's helped with the healing
01:03:00I'll never lie to you again
01:03:02What you did was so brave
01:03:03It was?
01:03:04It was on the news
01:03:06News website
01:03:07Near the side bit
01:03:08Did you get screenshots?
01:03:10I missed it
01:03:11Sorry I gave you a spook, boss
01:03:13I fall apart when I'm on my own
01:03:16You've got a real monster
01:03:19Cheers
01:03:20NASA said you should be here for a couple of weeks
01:03:22But it could be months
01:03:23No pet
01:03:24My sweet pet
01:03:26No
01:03:28Don't worry, we'll be here every single day
01:03:31We've been busy
01:03:32We may do something
01:03:33What's this?
01:03:36What the hell is this?
01:03:43Hi Virginia
01:03:44Did you hear about this new tradition everybody's talking about?
01:03:47Oh no, don't you start
01:03:49Christmas sounds like a fad to me
01:03:52I wouldn't get too excited
01:03:57Pay attention, water women
01:03:59While I introduce to you
01:04:02The one and only Santa Claus
01:04:11I'm looking to find a human wife
01:04:15I'm looking to find a human wife
01:04:15Oh no
01:04:17The funny Christmas
01:04:21Christmas
01:04:24What is a gift it become?
01:04:26A gift is anything that someone wants but
01:04:29You shouldn't have done this
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