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Temptation Island - Season 4 - Episode 09: Big Decisions EngSub
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00:02Previously on Temptation Island.
00:04If I make it through a house with 12 beautiful women and I'm not cheating on her, I'll be really
00:09happy.
00:09I'm very proud.
00:11Cheers.
00:11Cheers to loyalty.
00:13Loyalty.
00:14The new loyal loop.
00:15I'm fighting for love in two different places.
00:19And it's not because I want to both.
00:22It's because I still love Ashley because I care about her.
00:26You like wanting to go back with him or like what?
00:31If somehow I feel like he's growing or is a changed person, we could possibly talk about it and make
00:37it work.
00:38I've never like come out and say like I want to marry somebody.
00:41And now I know who that is and that's what I want.
00:45In my head, I'm like what if he's the only person that won't leave?
00:50He's not for you.
00:51And it's been clear as day.
00:53Ash.
00:54She still keeps going back to what if he's the only one that won't leave?
00:58I don't even know what to do.
00:59At this point.
01:00I don't take anything back.
01:02You know, Marissa and I got a little intimate.
01:06A clip of that will be shown to Jillian.
01:08It's going to be a completely different life when I leave this island.
01:15Oh my God.
01:17No way.
01:19You're not going to tell me.
01:23You'll never forget me.
01:26You're not going to tell me.
01:30You're not going to tell me.
01:33You're not going to tell me.
01:37You'll never forget me.
01:40You're not going to tell me.
01:49Oh my God.
01:50That's literally crazy.
01:52See, that is the other side of Edgar.
01:56That is just, I don't know where that comes from.
01:58Like what?
02:00It just reminds me of the shit that happened like before.
02:05Are you feeling more hurt or angry?
02:08First angry, then hurt, I guess.
02:10I don't really know.
02:11He didn't need to break our rules like that.
02:13Like that is just complete betrayal.
02:16Like he doesn't care that I have to see that.
02:19Why do you think he did that?
02:22I think he's having sex with her to get back at me
02:24and make himself feel in control again.
02:29Oh, I'm losing my shit.
02:31I literally am losing this.
02:34Like this is insane.
02:38There's no way out but through.
02:41You have some time to think about what you need to say
02:44and what you need to hear.
02:47I know I will do that in the moment
02:49but at this point, I don't even have anything to say.
02:52I don't want to know why.
02:53I don't care.
02:54Okay.
02:56If that's true for you, then I respect that
02:59and you can ask what you want
03:00because the next time all of you are here,
03:03you'll be sitting with your boyfriends.
03:07You can head back to the villa.
03:09Have a good night if you can.
03:11Good night.
03:15Oh.
03:16Oh, man.
03:17There's a storm coming his way, let me tell you.
03:20This bonfire was disrespectful.
03:22I feel like everything we've built was just stomped on.
03:26Oh, baby.
03:28I'm angry.
03:30He doesn't deserve you.
03:31We had very clear rules that we set.
03:34We discussed over and over again.
03:37What I saw tonight was all the way.
03:40There is nothing further that he could have done.
03:42Two years ago, we went through this exact thing
03:47and it's soft.
03:49Soft, babies.
03:51It's done.
03:51The promise is broken.
03:53I came here for clarity
03:54and there's nothing more clear than what I saw tonight.
03:56Oh, my God.
03:57I'm going to throw this shit in the ocean.
03:59Because I would never do that to you.
04:04I would never make you cry alive.
04:08Oh, my God.
04:09Literally, what the f***?
04:14Throw it at the house.
04:16We're going to go to the house right now.
04:17I will literally burn this place to the ground.
04:19No, all this aside,
04:20I want to take an Uber
04:21and drive my ass straight into the house.
04:24Let's just run.
04:25We have enough energy that we can run.
04:27We'll collect burnable materials.
04:31Did you see that?
04:33Let me just throw it.
04:34It's okay.
04:36Like, I need a f***ing pass from you
04:38to, like, not send you a f***ing message.
04:40It's the picture in the pocket for me.
04:42Did you put that there?
04:43Go f***ing by.
04:46I'm going to be so mute.
04:47I'm not going to talk to no one.
04:49Don't talk to me.
04:50Oh, hey, guys.
04:52Do I have news for you all?
04:54Who wants to hear it?
04:56Gather around.
04:57I got a story to tell tonight.
04:59Yeah.
05:00My boyfriend is the first one
05:02not only to have sex with another girl,
05:04but to f***ing f*** her
05:06just loud and clear
05:08for everyone, especially me, to hear.
05:12What?
05:14Are you kidding me?
05:16Bruh, s*** went down, y'all.
05:19These boyfriends,
05:20you guys s***ing suck, man.
05:23Embarrassing.
05:24He's planning on leaving with her, apparently.
05:26You're going to go have a relationship
05:27and that's your first time sleeping with her.
05:30That was not how our first time sleeping together was.
05:34Who next?
05:35Ashley's next.
05:42Ashley's next.
05:43And they hugged and they kissed at the end.
05:45LaSalle's is just making the biggest mistake ever.
05:49I don't think she has anything that I have to offer for LaSalle's.
05:53If he loses me, then that's too bad
05:55because I'm not going back.
05:56How did you say I love you?
05:58How did you talk to a girl you met for four weeks?
06:04How are you?
06:05I'm good.
06:06Are you done being weird with me?
06:11Yeah.
06:12Why were you weird?
06:17The reason I was weird,
06:20do you remember the conversation you had with me this morning?
06:23Yes.
06:24Do you remember what you said?
06:24I said I am scared
06:27that I'm going to end up back with her.
06:30What was the other words?
06:33Please.
06:35What if he's the only person that won't leave?
06:38There.
06:39That hit me.
06:40And then I come down here and you're like,
06:42oh, well, it's cloudy,
06:44but when you come, the sun comes out.
06:46And I'm like, I'm not the f***ing drug you need.
06:49And for you to just be like,
06:51cool, that's great.
06:52I don't, none of it mattered.
06:54I'm going right back to where I was.
06:55F***ing sucks for me
06:56because I'm a real person
06:59and I share who I am
07:00because I care about the people around me.
07:03Listen, I shared that to be like,
07:06here's my weak and vulnerable part.
07:10Doesn't mean I'm actually going to act on it.
07:12I needed a moment of clarity
07:15and you've been a very safe space
07:17and I overstepped the line.
07:19Obviously, I see this.
07:21I don't want for Hanya
07:23to be able to affect me this much,
07:25but he f***ing does.
07:28Taylor's taught me that I deserve
07:32more.
07:33And I'm ready for a love
07:36as intense as I am.
07:39You being upset with me,
07:42I hated it.
07:45It's okay.
07:46I just want what's best for you.
07:49As a person to person.
08:05Welcome, welcome, welcome.
08:14Ladies and gentlemen,
08:16tonight is a magical night.
08:18Full of wonder, magic, and lust.
08:21And wonder.
08:22Yeah, and lust.
08:27Tonight at the bonfire,
08:29the clip I saw with Jillian,
08:31and I presume it's what's-his-face,
08:35getting intimate.
08:36It's definitely uncomfortable
08:37to watch your girlfriend
08:43do other things
08:46with someone else.
08:49But I mean,
08:50I kind of did feel a lot of acceptance
08:51because I'm having my journey.
08:56I'm trying to be good tonight.
08:58So be good.
08:59I'm gonna.
09:00You want to be good?
09:02Be good.
09:03Of course.
09:04Be good.
09:05If you're
09:06this night
09:07about being
09:08not good,
09:11then
09:15you know where to find me.
09:22Get it, get it, get it, get it.
09:26That's all I get.
09:27That's all y'all get?
09:28That's all y'all get.
09:29Y'all gotta pay for the rest.
09:31It's gonna be a wild night,
09:32but I'm realizing
09:33that I'm truly
09:34falling in love with Trace,
09:36and I've been struggling
09:37all night thinking about
09:38how's Ashley gonna see this,
09:40and I'm just going through
09:41all these conflicting thoughts.
09:42It's one of the hardest nights
09:44I've ever had to deal with.
09:46You're, like,
09:47literally matching her.
09:47I know, because
09:48this was a leftover outfit.
09:50And you both have
09:51amazing butts,
09:52let me just say.
09:53Oh, yeah.
09:55What the ?
09:56What?
09:57It's so annoying.
09:58Karina,
10:00do you think
10:01I don't think
10:02your butt is
10:02amazing?
10:03That's literally
10:04not what this is at all.
10:05Do you think I don't think
10:05your body is incredible?
10:07This is what I mean
10:08by it's the Hania world.
10:10I hope you don't.
10:11This was not intentional.
10:13Whoa, don't yell at her.
10:15Well, she's making it
10:16about her right now.
10:17I know, but don't yell at her,
10:18nonetheless.
10:19It's not about her.
10:19Don't yell at her.
10:20I don't have some other
10:21gender right now.
10:23Okay, don't yell at her.
10:24I don't have the patience.
10:25It doesn't matter.
10:26I know it doesn't matter,
10:27and I feel embarrassed right now.
10:29Thank you very much.
10:30When you shout
10:31and speak the way you do,
10:33you try to make people
10:34feel really stupid.
10:35I'm not trying to make
10:36anybody feel stupid.
10:37I know.
10:38I feel stupid,
10:38and that's what
10:39I'm trying to say.
10:40I'll just
10:42remove my felt...
10:43No, you're fine.
10:44I'm not fine.
10:45You just said it.
10:46You're doing it again.
10:46You just said,
10:47I'm being a
10:47asshole about you.
10:49Calm down.
10:50Wow.
10:50Wow.
10:52That's why his girlfriend
10:53is so intrigued
10:54with this new guy,
10:55because he's actually
10:56listening to her.
10:57Yeah.
10:58It's not that hard
10:59to listen to someone
11:00and care for them.
11:01First of all,
11:02don't touch any woman
11:03like that,
11:04first of all.
11:04and then
11:05storm off
11:07like you're the
11:07victim.
11:08Made it about him.
11:10Yeah,
11:10and made it like
11:11That's a narcissist, bro.
11:13He is the epitome
11:14of a narcissist.
11:15That's a narcissist.
11:16I don't feel
11:17very magical right now.
11:19You ain't seen
11:21nothing yet.
11:22You ain't seen
11:23nothing yet.
11:29Picture perfect
11:31on the surface.
11:33I hope someday
11:34we'll build them up
11:35on solid ground.
11:36Cause we lost more time
11:38than we'll ever
11:39get back.
11:40And we need something
11:42to keep us on track.
11:44Where are we going?
11:47Where are we going?
11:50Are you okay?
11:51I'm not ready.
11:53You know what's up?
11:54Can I?
11:55Yeah.
11:56I woke up this morning
11:57and I had the
11:59sudden urge
11:59to tell Trace
12:00exactly how I feel
12:01at this moment.
12:02I've been struggling
12:03all night thinking
12:04about how they're
12:05actually going to see this
12:06and how I'm going
12:06to break the news
12:07and I'm just going
12:08through all these
12:08conflicting thoughts.
12:10I really,
12:12I really want
12:13to make this work.
12:15I really want
12:17to make this work.
12:18Well, then you ask.
12:19hit like a ton
12:20and breaks
12:21and I'll push this point
12:22and I'll say,
12:23I'm good,
12:23I'm good,
12:24I'm good.
12:24Like,
12:25thinking I'm good.
12:26I honestly don't want
12:28to show something
12:28to do it.
12:30And the thing is
12:31because I just need
12:31exposure.
12:33I need to know
12:35where she's at
12:36and I need to know
12:36I'm at.
12:38And I want us,
12:39I want us to,
12:40like,
12:41I want us to know
12:41We can just cross that
12:42bridge and, you know,
12:44just go for now.
12:47We'll just, you know,
12:50possible.
12:52I'm just sorry.
12:54I am trying to keep
12:56my composure,
12:57but I'm pretty livid
12:58at this point.
12:59I am so fed up
13:01with this back and forth.
13:03I work at this office.
13:05Let's be some time.
13:19Well, good morning,
13:20gentlemen.
13:20Good morning.
13:21Good morning, ladies.
13:23Good morning.
13:24You're about to select
13:26your final dates.
13:28These dates
13:29aren't your typical dates.
13:31They'll be very romantic
13:32overnight dates
13:34where you'll get a chance
13:35to spend some special
13:36one-on-one time
13:37with one of the single guys.
13:39Out of all the dates
13:40you've chosen,
13:41this will be the most important
13:42because the guys
13:43you don't choose
13:44will be leaving the island.
13:46Ladies, are you ready?
13:48Iris?
13:49Okay.
13:49Who gets to spend
13:49their final date with you?
13:53Deke, would you like
13:54to go on a date with me?
13:55I would love to, Iris.
13:57Perfect.
13:58All right, Deke.
13:59Ash, what do you think?
14:00Who's it going to be?
14:01Taylor.
14:02Taylor.
14:03Okay.
14:05Jillian!
14:06Who's going on
14:07a final date with you today?
14:08I think I'm going to pick Tommy.
14:11Congratulations.
14:12And then finally, Ashley,
14:13who's going to be your choice?
14:15I would like to choose Blake.
14:16Blake.
14:20Okay, ladies,
14:21you've made your decision.
14:22Congratulations, guys.
14:23And gentlemen who weren't chosen,
14:25it's been a pleasure
14:26getting to know you.
14:27You can go ahead
14:28and say your goodbyes
14:28and then it's time
14:29to leave the island.
14:30Travel safe, guys.
14:32I'm happy for those
14:33that were chosen.
14:34I would have loved
14:34just to spend that
14:35one-on-one time
14:36to connect with Iris.
14:37But honestly,
14:38I just wish Iris
14:39the best of luck.
14:41Bye, guys.
14:41All right, y'all.
14:42Hold it down, all right?
14:43We love you guys.
14:44Well, there we have it.
14:45Four couples.
14:46I know you're going
14:47to enjoy these dates
14:48and really use this time
14:50to get whatever answers
14:51you still need.
14:51and I just want
14:52to let you know
14:53that the next time
14:53I'll see you four ladies
14:55will be at your final bonfire.
14:58Okay?
14:59Have fun.
15:00I'll check in with you soon.
15:02Hello to the girls.
15:03Thank you, Mark.
15:04Hi, girl.
15:06Hi, girl.
15:14Hi, Mark.
15:15Hi, ladies.
15:17Welcome.
15:18Gentlemen,
15:18you're about to select
15:19your final date.
15:21So, let's get to it.
15:23Luke, we'll start with you.
15:27I would like to choose Paige.
15:32Edgar?
15:33I would love to have
15:36Marissa join me on my date.
15:38Okay.
15:40LaSelles?
15:41Who's it going to be?
15:43I'm super nervous right now.
15:45Trace and I just had
15:46this argument upstairs
15:47and I can tell
15:48she's just over it.
15:48Like, she's just,
15:49that's the final straw.
15:50I'm like,
15:51shaking
15:52because I know
15:53she rejects me again
15:54and then that's the end
15:54of our relationship
15:55and I can kiss everything
15:56we ever had goodbye.
15:58Trace, I know we've been
15:59going through a lot
16:00of difficult times together
16:01and I want to let you know
16:02I appreciate you
16:03no matter what
16:04and you mean the world to me
16:06and I would love
16:07if you would accompany me
16:08on the last date.
16:12Let's do it.
16:14Okay.
16:15I think that's a yes
16:16from Trace, LaSelles.
16:20Hanya?
16:22What do you think?
16:23Karina, I know
16:25we left things a bit tense
16:26and if you're willing
16:28I would still love
16:30to take you with me
16:31on the overnight.
16:33I really have to think about
16:35if I want to go
16:35on this final date
16:36because his actions
16:39last night
16:40I am not okay with.
16:43Well, Karina,
16:45what do you think?
16:49Karina, I don't know
16:51Ladies,
16:52those who weren't chosen
16:53it's been a pleasure
16:54getting to know you.
16:55Take a moment
16:55to say your goodbyes
16:56to the guys
16:56and that's time
16:58to leave the villa.
16:59Is the reason
17:00that you picked Paige
17:01because you're afraid
17:02that you wouldn't be able
17:03to resist me
17:03on a one-on-one
17:04overnight date type thing
17:06because I feel like
17:07I kind of got
17:08the short end of the stick
17:09out of that.
17:09I don't know really
17:10why you came here.
17:14Sorry.
17:15Bye, guys.
17:16Bye-bye.
17:18Okay, I can sense
17:19from what's been said
17:20here today
17:21that some of you
17:22are excited to go
17:23and some of you
17:23have some stuff
17:24that's yet to be resolved.
17:26Well, use the time
17:27on these dates
17:27to ask the questions
17:29and say the things
17:29that you need to say
17:31because you're facing
17:31some big decisions
17:33and the next time
17:34I see you
17:34will be at your
17:35final bonfire
17:36sitting next to the person
17:38you came to this island with.
17:39Enjoy your final dates
17:40and I'll see you soon.
17:46I want to make this
17:47the best date ever
17:49but I still have questions,
17:51things that I'm not
17:52really able to process.
17:54Trust was broken
17:56and my heart's
17:58suffering a little bit
17:59right now.
18:00I can't even breathe
18:01Don't know how to feel
18:03I can't breathe
18:04when I'm anxious
18:05Can't breathe
18:05when I'm angry
18:18There's no way
18:19There's no way
18:21Oh my god
18:21Oh my god, I'm so nervous
18:23but I'm so happy
18:25at the same time
18:26Get up and go
18:28Get up and go
18:31Oh no
18:32This is my first time
18:34in a helicopter
18:35and I'm holding
18:36Blake's hand
18:37so tight
18:38this experience
18:39the once in a lifetime
18:40thing
18:41and still with Blake
18:42it makes it even
18:43more special for me
18:44This is actually
18:46one of my dreams
18:46That was absolutely beautiful
18:48Wow
18:51Look at this side too
18:52Look over here
18:53Oh wow
18:55I'm really starting
18:56to like him
18:57you know
18:57and it's just
18:59an amazing feeling
19:04I'm hoping to
19:05really get a direct
19:07answer on whether
19:08or not
19:08it's me
19:10that she wants
19:10in the end
19:11I really like her
19:13you know
19:13she's been everything
19:14I've been looking for
19:15and it's kind of
19:16it's kind of crazy
19:17that it happened
19:18here on this island
19:20My favorite date
19:22Top all of our dates
19:23for sure
19:24For sure
19:32Oh look at this backdrop
19:33This is so pretty
19:36Today for our final date
19:38we're doing a dove blessing
19:39Hold hands
19:40and raise your arms
19:41into the sky
19:42to receive a dove blessing
19:43to make your wish
19:44come true
19:44As much as I
19:45am grateful
19:46that we're able
19:47to have this intimate
19:48moment
19:48I'm just trying
19:50not to kid myself
19:51any further
19:51that this is something
19:52more than what it is
19:54because I've been told
19:55now officially
19:56that that's not
19:58what it's going to be
20:02You don't want
20:02to bless us?
20:05Give us our blessings
20:06please
20:07You need them
20:10I wish I didn't say
20:11what I said this morning
20:12especially before the date
20:13because I think
20:14it set the tone
20:15in a negative fashion
20:16but I feel like
20:17it was something
20:17I had to get off my chest
20:19Trace I know
20:19this morning's conversation
20:20was super tough
20:21but I do see myself
20:23with you as my girlfriend
20:24and hopefully more
20:26and I really hope
20:27we work it out
20:28because I love you
20:34I feel like
20:35as soon as I kind of
20:36started to believe it
20:38you kind of hit me
20:39with another wild card
20:42It breaks my heart
20:43to kind of
20:44feel so hopeful
20:46and then kind of
20:47get knocked back
20:49into reality
20:49if that's not
20:51really the case
20:53but I'm hurt
20:53I'm really hurt
20:54right now
20:55like I am
20:56It sounds like
20:57she doesn't want
20:58to be a part
20:59of my life
20:59and that sucks
21:00because that was
21:01the last thing
21:02I wanted out
21:02of this whole situation
21:04I don't know
21:05if I can ever
21:05forget myself
21:16I have never been
21:17pampered by a partner
21:19Oh my God
21:22I really need
21:23this spa day
21:24Oh my God
21:27It's so nice
21:29to have someone
21:30being attentive
21:31to my needs
21:32and giving me
21:33a massage
21:33Panya wouldn't have
21:35done that
21:36I'm really tired
21:37of being held
21:39to a different standard
21:40than the people
21:41telling me
21:42how to act
21:43hold themselves
21:45I'm just ready
21:46to not
21:46be a sidekick
21:48in someone else's story
21:49and that's not
21:50how it should be
21:51for any single woman
21:52or man
21:52on the entire earth
21:53so I hope
21:55that your contact
21:57with Hanya
21:57goes the way
21:58that it deserves
21:59to go
21:59and how you deserve
22:00to grow
22:01I can't imagine
22:03it going any differently
22:04because he's
22:05probably going to
22:06be demeaning
22:07as
22:07Who cares
22:10I'm going to go
22:11risk it with it
22:12Oh
22:14If Ash could take
22:15one thing away
22:15from our date
22:16I would hope
22:17that when she's
22:18not around me
22:19she doesn't feel
22:20like she lost
22:21that drug
22:21that keeps her going
22:23I would say
22:24that you need
22:25time alone
22:25to heal
22:26away from
22:27the very manipulative
22:29type of human
22:30Hanya is
22:31but I wish
22:33the best for you
22:34from the bottom
22:35of my heart
22:41I'm going to go
22:44so I guess
22:47I'm lying
22:48and I'm
22:49all right
22:50okay
23:00let's see what I got
23:01to do
23:01it's go time
23:04through this time
23:05on the island
23:06I learned
23:06how to listen
23:08to my own feelings
23:09and I'm ready
23:11to tell Ash
23:11exactly how I feel
23:13and so
23:13Luke and I
23:14are going
23:15ring shopping
23:17for the love
23:18of my life
23:19I never thought
23:20I would be doing this
23:22it's wild
23:23you grew a lot
23:24in a short amount
23:25of time
23:26yeah
23:27can I see
23:29one of these
23:30over here
23:30actually
23:31yeah
23:32maybe the second
23:33one in right there
23:34I like the sort
23:35of the metal
23:37work of it
23:37yeah
23:39sort of hammered
23:42I think this is
23:43the one then
23:44there you go
23:45yeah
23:46it's kind of crazy
23:47because you came
23:48in here not even
23:49knowing you were
23:51going to be doing
23:51this and when I
23:52came in here
23:53Iris and I had
23:54already talked
23:55about this
23:57I wasn't sure
23:57if I wanted to
23:59propose to her
23:59at the end of it
24:00because I wanted
24:01to see how each
24:02of us had grown
24:03and came together
24:04but I'm here now
24:05like I've
24:06came this far
24:07if it doesn't feel
24:08right in the moment
24:09then I don't have
24:10to do it
24:10but I kind of
24:12want to arm myself
24:12man
24:13I'm going to
24:14take a look
24:14I'm in here
24:15ring shopping
24:15with Hanya for Ash
24:17but I'm realizing
24:17I've been with Iris
24:18for five years
24:19and all the questions
24:20have been answered
24:21during this journey
24:22except will Iris
24:23marry me
24:24I want to propose
24:25to Iris
24:25because I'm confident
24:26that I've officially
24:27found the woman
24:28of my dreams
24:29and I just
24:30want to spend
24:31the rest of my life
24:32with her
24:32this is it
24:33that's a sweet ring
24:34this is it
24:37congrats man
24:37I was kind of
24:38bring it in here
24:40oh dude
24:41we're both
24:42we're both
24:43going into this
24:43we're
24:44that's huge
24:46we could get
24:48so high
24:49and I'll come down
24:51and I know
24:52I know
24:53I know
24:53that it's
24:54like
24:54oh my god
24:57this is so cool
25:00I've never
25:01spent 24 hours
25:02with another male
25:04except Luke
25:05in the last
25:06five years
25:06so this is
25:06going to be
25:07pretty interesting
25:09thank you
25:11Deke is an
25:11amazing guy
25:13and I see him
25:14as someone
25:15I could date
25:16wow
25:18this is like
25:18exactly what I need
25:19right now
25:20yeah
25:21before your big day
25:23oh man
25:23I'm just trying
25:24to figure out
25:24what I'm going to
25:25say to Luke
25:25yeah I know
25:26you guys have a lot
25:27to talk about
25:27I just don't know
25:29if he really
25:32believes he's
25:33accountable
25:33for what he did
25:34to me
25:35yeah well definitely
25:36just hold him
25:36to a higher standard
25:37hold yourself
25:38to a higher standard
25:38yeah
25:39I know what I deserve
25:42and I hope
25:43he understands
25:44now too
25:45yeah
25:47we'll see
25:48yeah
25:50in the short time
25:51that I've known Iris
25:52I've seen growth
25:53in her
25:54but I know
25:55you know
25:55you can say
25:55you have all this growth
25:56but once you sit down
25:57with that counterpart
25:58that's a whole different
25:59ball game
26:00thanks for picking me
26:01of course
26:17here we go
26:19okay grab hands
26:20three
26:21two
26:21one
26:22go
26:34today is me
26:35and Tommy's last date
26:36we are zip lining
26:37which is really cool
26:39Tommy
26:41holy shit
26:42we're just kind of
26:43living in the moment
26:44but it's a little hard
26:45for me to be present
26:46because I'm thinking
26:47about Edgar
26:48and the way he's hurt me
26:49and then saying goodbye
26:50to Tommy
26:50which I don't really
26:51want to do
27:02it's so beautiful
27:02it's so serene
27:04I'm so excited
27:05to have this day
27:06with Marissa
27:07I know that we both
27:08really love horses
27:09and it fuels me
27:11a little more
27:11to know that
27:12Marissa loves horseback riding
27:14just as much as I do
27:16it makes me feel good
27:18about what is yet to come
27:21oh this is beautiful
27:23this is so gorgeous
27:25I thought
27:27that at the beginning
27:28of this experience
27:29that I wanted to come
27:30back to Jillian
27:33but right now
27:34I don't know
27:35if that is what I want
27:37oh that feels great
27:50this wasn't the ending
27:51that I was expecting
27:51and it's still hard
27:53for me to accept
27:54because I still have
27:55hope for the future
27:56I just hope
27:57you don't think
27:57this conversation
27:58is me saying like
27:59no you need to leave
28:00with me
28:01and just automatically
28:02start our journey
28:03like that's not
28:04what I'm saying
28:05whether your future
28:06is with me
28:07whether it's not with me
28:08you have to just be
28:09ten times more careful
28:11because I've told you
28:13that I've been traumatized
28:15by my past relationships
28:17like I don't trust
28:19shit nobody says to me
28:21and you still continue
28:23I just feel like
28:24you just were not
28:25considerate of how
28:26this really really
28:28could affect me
28:30I'm sorry
28:31I didn't put myself
28:32in your shoes
28:32I think I was so wrapped
28:34up in what
28:34I'm struggling with
28:37that I took that
28:38for granted
28:38but me saying
28:40I love you
28:40and I moved to LA
28:42is a dream to me
28:43that I want to come true
28:44me just backtracking
28:46is more logistical thinking
28:47not like emotionally
28:48it's more like
28:49let me figure out
28:49my stuff at home
28:50so then I can fully
28:51go to LA with you
28:53and start something new
28:55I just feel like
28:56maybe you should
28:56kind of thought
28:57about that a little bit
28:58before you have dragged
29:01me this far
29:01in this process
29:03that's all
29:04obviously you're going
29:05to have to have
29:06a conversation with her
29:06yeah
29:07that is a part
29:08of the final bonfire
29:09you can have your closure
29:11and still continue
29:12to be a man of your word
29:13in what you've said
29:14to me
29:15yeah
29:16okay
29:16so I'm done crying
29:17I'm done talking about it
29:19I don't want to push it
29:20right now
29:20because it is a sensitive time
29:22but I'm feeling a lot
29:23more relieved
29:23knowing that things
29:24have come to a little
29:25more ease
29:26let's just be careful
29:27with our words
29:28and let's just enjoy
29:30being in this beautiful place
29:32absolutely
29:32okay
29:33awesome
29:33cheers
29:34cheers
29:51I feel like
29:52I kind of don't want
29:53this whole journey
29:53to just be over
29:54what's that
29:57it's just
29:59I don't know
30:01what?
30:01tell me
30:02I'm here
30:04at the end of this journey
30:07I have to make a choice
30:08and I don't want to bring
30:10like my extra baggage
30:12onto you
30:14I wouldn't expect you
30:15to jump
30:15like ship to ship
30:17but also like
30:19I just want to know
30:20everything that I've done
30:21throughout this whole time
30:23like had a point to it
30:25no
30:26you know
30:26I'm on the fence
30:28between leaving
30:29with like
30:29leaving by myself
30:31or working out
30:32things with Lascelles
30:33and leaving with him
30:34but I don't want to
30:35think too far
30:36in the future
30:36I just don't want
30:38you to
30:39like go back
30:40to something
30:41that could hurt you
30:43because I just want
30:44you to have everything
30:46thank you for that
30:47be honest with me
30:50you deserve a little girl
30:52I'll be honest with you
30:54by you
31:06here's what I know
31:14and the shrimp
31:15this is crazy
31:18you look very handsome
31:20thank you
31:20appreciate that
31:21you look beautiful
31:22thank you
31:24so how are you feeling
31:25about everything
31:27honestly
31:31I feel like
31:32you and I
31:35could work
31:36really well together
31:37that's kind of
31:38how I feel
31:40I don't know
31:41if you feel the same
31:42and it's fine
31:43if you don't
31:43I have loved
31:45this entire experience
31:47and being with you
31:48has been enjoyable
31:50in the future
31:51I don't know
31:52I really don't know
31:53what that holds
31:53I think right now
31:55it's just
31:55I've enjoyed my time
31:57here with you
31:57and we're friends
31:58I think that's
32:00where I'm at
32:01it's just like
32:02we enjoy spending
32:03time together
32:04it's you know
32:05definitely hard for me
32:06because I feel like
32:10I may be a little
32:11more invested in this
32:12than maybe you are
32:13which is fine
32:16I like Jillian
32:17I like being around her
32:18I think she's
32:19an amazing woman
32:19but she's
32:21still very young
32:22she's still trying
32:23to figure out
32:23where she wants to be
32:25and what she wants
32:26in life
32:26so we're in different
32:27points in our life
32:28right now
32:28I mean
32:29I still want to talk
32:31when we leave
32:31yeah
32:32so I guess
32:33we'll figure out
32:36what that looks like
32:38for us
32:38yeah
32:49since we've been here
32:51I've
32:53obviously gone through
32:54a lot
32:54you've kind of
32:55been there for
32:56all of it
32:58even the parts
32:59that really affected
33:00you
33:00which I'm
33:01sorry about
33:03but in the midst
33:04of all of that
33:05chaos
33:06I have found
33:10myself
33:11that's where you
33:12came in
33:12I feel very
33:14intensely
33:15for you
33:18like there's
33:19a whole
33:19separate pain
33:20leaving this island
33:21with me now
33:23I don't want
33:24to hurt anyone
33:27you're not hurting
33:30you haven't
33:31hurt me
33:31this whole time
33:33I care about you
33:35because you are
33:36nobody I've ever
33:37met before
33:40and I want you
33:41to carry it
33:41with you
33:42and when it's time
33:44or you need me
33:45call me
33:47I did not
33:48expect
33:49to make this
33:50kind of connection
33:50while I was here
33:53I'm not
33:54a super
33:55vulnerable person
33:56and
33:56he can tell
33:57I'm holding back
33:58I always regret
34:00not listening
34:01to my intuition
34:02and I'm just
34:03trying to trust
34:04myself
34:04to lean in
34:06to the person
34:07who has been there
34:08for me the most
34:11I want
34:12to be able
34:13to show him
34:13that the walls
34:14can come down
34:15and
34:16he does
34:17mean a lot
34:18to me
34:32how was
34:34your guys'
34:34day
34:35it was
34:36it was
34:36very eventful
34:37awesome
34:38uh
34:39Luke and I
34:40went ring shopping
34:41today
34:41like
34:42actually
34:43or
34:43like you helped
34:45each other
34:45or individually
34:46help Tanya
34:47but then
34:48as soon as
34:49I found mine
34:50Luke here
34:51announces
34:52stop
34:53let's go
34:55so
34:56I just want
34:57to see how
34:58Iris and I
34:58are going to
34:58interact as
34:59new people
35:00after this
35:01but
35:01I thought
35:03what better way
35:04to sentimentally
35:05like lock in
35:06the next step
35:08in our future
35:09together
35:09congratulations
35:10yeah
35:11and if
35:12you guys
35:13want to see
35:13oh my god
35:15there it is
35:16oh my god
35:17it's gorgeous
35:19wow
35:21that's so exciting
35:22I know
35:23they're so different
35:24I'm excited for you
35:25thank you
35:25I'm very shocked
35:27that Hanya wants
35:27to propose
35:28after what I had
35:30seen the past
35:30couple of days
35:31I feel like
35:32Hanya's not ready
35:33to be a husband
35:34yet
35:35what do you think
35:36she'll say
35:37I think she'll
35:38say yes
35:41I hope she says yes
35:43I really hope so
35:55it was just crazy
35:57I never thought
35:59I'd come here
36:00and meet someone
36:00like you
36:01ever
36:02I never thought
36:03I'd meet someone
36:04like you
36:06so I think
36:07we're both surprised
36:08I'm so surprised
36:10I'm very grateful
36:12because like
36:13I want you to be
36:13in my life
36:15forever
36:16so I don't
36:17you know
36:18after whatever
36:19happens here
36:20like I just
36:21don't want you
36:22to leave
36:24I'm not leaving
36:26as long as
36:26you don't leave
36:27I'm not
36:28okay
36:28promise
36:29so we don't leave
36:30okay good
36:32so thank you
36:33you're welcome
36:34for everything
36:37thank you for the
36:38greatest adventure
36:38that is you
36:41and
36:42I want more
36:43of it to be
36:44I do too
36:50this date with Edgar
36:51has been the most
36:52amazing experience
36:54I've ever had
36:55in my entire life
36:56like the horseback
36:57riding
36:57the dinner
36:58to the rest of the night
37:00to the rest of the night
37:03the eye contact
37:05the connection
37:06let's go
37:07okay
37:07okay
37:09sometimes it feels
37:10too good to be true
37:11but like every time
37:12I look at him
37:13like I know
37:14it's good
37:16to be true
37:17like it's not too good
37:18it's there
37:19in front of me
37:26and lights
37:29it's how long is it
37:39you still look better
37:41in my favorite t-shirt
37:43still feel better
37:44when I'm not here
37:46with you
37:46right here
37:48right here
37:49waiting for you
37:52yeah I'll be right here
37:54good morning
37:56you look very pretty
37:57thank you
37:58per usual
38:00how did you sleep?
38:02good
38:02this bed is so comfy
38:03this feels a lot more comfortable
38:05than I thought
38:06I would have been
38:07this feels on the couch
38:09last night
38:10Trace and I
38:11we had a great time
38:12alone time
38:13and I have found
38:14an amazing connection
38:15that I can't ignore
38:17so I just want to
38:17like kind of
38:18make sure
38:19you know
38:19we're obviously
38:20still on the same page
38:21because I feel like
38:22we are now
38:22you know if anything
38:24it's just more of like
38:25okay we've created
38:26this connection
38:27and
38:29we want to continue
38:29to grow with each other
38:30and have conversations
38:31and you know
38:32build up our friendship
38:33even more
38:33and then go from there
38:35I want to solidify
38:36like our relationship
38:37and show that
38:38you know
38:39I'm not afraid
38:39to take a risk
38:41and here to gamble
38:42but
38:42it's for someone I love
38:44I mean I would love that
38:46you know
38:47I don't think
38:47either one of us
38:48deserves to go back and forth
38:49back and forth
38:49no
38:51I want to say
38:52that I feel confident
38:54in his final decision
38:55at this point
38:56but
38:56there's still a little bit
38:57of doubt
38:58just a little bit
38:58I always have anxiety
39:00when it comes to ourselves
39:01everything loves
39:03everything loves new
39:06I think I'm feeling
39:07in a neck of shy
39:10perfect moment
39:11I think we're feeling good
39:14you've got me growing
39:15and I know there's no worries here
39:22this date was amazing
39:25I don't regret a thing
39:28I think this is probably
39:30my favorite date
39:33Taylor's affection
39:34and attention
39:36and belief
39:37in me
39:37has shown me
39:39the kind of love
39:40I deserve
39:41and I'm not
39:43I'm not gonna try
39:44and earn
39:45that
39:46anymore
39:46you have made an impact
39:48you've made me be
39:49more vulnerable
39:50and open to people
39:52and I really hope
39:53on my side
39:54I made a difference
39:55for you
39:55and that's what matters
39:58Ash has been there for me
39:59she's helped me a lot
40:00I feel that she's
40:01opened me up in ways
40:02that no other woman has
40:04but
40:04my biggest concern for her
40:06is that she goes back
40:07to Hanya
40:07once they get back
40:08to Santa Fe
40:08you've been here
40:10just reminding me
40:11that I'm strong
40:12which is great
40:13because it's not
40:14condescending
40:15which is
40:15what I've been
40:16dealing with
40:17is someone
40:17talking to me
40:18like I'm an idiot
40:20and I hope
40:21that you can take
40:21that and what
40:22I've said
40:23into all situations
40:26you know
40:27I don't want
40:28this to end
40:28I hear the voices
40:30in my head
40:32making me
40:34afraid
40:35to face
40:36the consequences
40:37of what I've done
40:40you can't run
40:41you can't hide
40:45you can't run
40:47you can't hide
40:51I slept
40:52for me
40:53you want to eat breakfast?
40:58you want to eat breakfast?
40:59yeah
40:59yeah
41:00I'm just feeling like
41:02I'm on cloud nine
41:03it was so fun
41:05and me and Edgar
41:06got to enjoy
41:07every room in the house
41:10and that's all
41:11I'm going to say
41:13so Edgar
41:16how do you feel
41:17about the upcoming bonfire?
41:20I'm nervous
41:21Marissa
41:22I'm nervous
41:26I think you'll be able
41:27to say everything
41:28you want to say
41:28and it'll be over
41:30before you know it
41:33part of me feels like
41:34this is a version
41:35of myself
41:35that existed
41:37before Jillian
41:38but I love
41:39who I am now
41:39and it feels great
41:40because I'm able
41:41to experience life
41:42fully
41:43without any kind
41:44of filter
41:45I feel like
41:46you've changed
41:47and I think
41:50she really needs
41:51to see that
41:51you're a great guy
41:53and it kind of sucks
41:54to see her
41:56not appreciate that
41:57and I really want her
41:58to take a look at you
41:59and realize
42:00what she was letting go
42:01I can't live without you
42:03without, without you
42:06I can't live without you
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