- 2 days ago
Temptation Island - Season 4 - Episode 07: Message Received EngSub
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00:02Previously on temptation island, do you want me? I feel like sometimes I just get scared of like where it
00:10could like end up
00:13To get between you and your girl
00:23I got a text message from somebody that I had that was like, hey sir, are you up? Wake up
00:31so you can
00:32I only want you forget Ashley. I need you in my life as a girlfriend future wife
00:46You're sweet
00:48You'll never forget me
00:50You're not gonna tempt me
00:54Oh
00:56Oh
00:58You're not gonna tempt me
01:00You'll never forget me
01:04You're not gonna tempt me
01:15Um, okay
01:17One of the confused as to why he just took that huge jump and for her
01:24Two I feel like he saw something in my clip that kind of made him act like that way
01:31Because I just was like a whole
01:34All right, bye seven years gone
01:36You're watching a clip of the cells
01:39And rather than going
01:42I
01:42Can't believe that he seems to be falling for someone else you immediately say it's my fault
01:47He's gone is what it sounded like and yet
01:52You're standing here holding your shit together
01:54Ashley look
01:56Coming over to you because this is too distant
01:59I want you to say to yourself
02:01I'm worth feeling any emotion I want
02:05And no one else really matters
02:07Okay
02:08Now you're in a safe place
02:10Open the valve
02:12I will
02:14I'm not convinced you will
02:16I'm not convinced you will
02:18Prove me wrong
02:20Okay
02:20And you don't have to say that you will or say the right thing
02:24Yeah
02:24Just do it
02:25Say how you feel
02:26All right
02:27That's bonfire ladies
02:29Thank you
02:30You guys can head back to your villa
02:32See you soon
02:33All right
02:35There's no way
02:36You gotta tell someone you just met that I want you to be my wife
02:41Like it's hurtful
02:42You're
02:43Kind of disrespecting me and disrespecting what we have
02:47You have
02:48You have
02:49All of the opportunity
02:51To just lean into all of the growth you've ever wanted
02:55Yeah
02:55He clearly doesn't care
02:58And I thought he did this whole time but
03:02Clearly not
03:19Going into tonight's bonfire I'm ready to see how else Jillian is going to hurt me
03:24But also ready to let go of her more
03:33Hi guys
03:34Hi Mark
03:35Hey Mark
03:35Hello
03:40Gentlemen
03:42Welcome to bonfire
03:43How you feeling?
03:44How you doing?
03:45Nervous
03:46Nervous
03:46Anxious
03:47Yeah
03:47Anxious for sure
03:48Definitely
03:49Anya we're going to start with you
03:50All right
03:51Okay
03:52Here we go
03:58I like you
04:00And you are patient and you're sweet
04:04I'm glad you're still here
04:06I'm glad you're fine
04:08I wouldn't want to be on this hour without you
04:33My heart's pounding right now
04:35Um
04:38You know I
04:42I
04:43This is what I wanted her to do
04:45You know and we didn't set any rules
04:46And I
04:51I don't know that I expected her to make such a connection
04:54You know
04:56Out of one part of your mouth you had been saying how you love her so much and don't want
05:01to lose her and at the same time you want this for her
05:03Mm-hmm
05:04Um
05:04How do you reconcile that?
05:07The same thing I want for her is my greatest fear
05:09I
05:11Am
05:13Dreading that she will make some connection that is more powerful than ours
05:17Okay
05:17What does that bring up for you?
05:18And right now what I'm seeing is a little bit of what appears to be mature is actually a dance
05:24around fear
05:25Of that if I really look at this shit
05:27I might get my heart broken
05:28I don't want to live in fear though
05:31You know I have been afraid
05:33And still am
05:35But I'm not going to live there
05:36You know
05:37And one of the things that I'm working on is actually putting myself out there for the person I love
05:44Thank you buddy
05:45Thank you Mark
05:46Okay
05:49Luke
05:49Luke
05:50Are you ready?
05:51Yes
05:51Okay, here we go
05:55Who is that?
05:57Deek!
05:58It's not Deek from where?
06:02Simon
06:03Guess who's back
06:04To get between you and your girl
06:07This is Deek
06:08I'm a fan
06:10I'm a fan
06:11I'm good
06:12I'm Iris
06:13Watching everyone it does get lonely
06:18Everyone's going to bed with someone else and I'm just like yo
06:21And I have the master bedroom and I'm just like what the
06:29Okay
06:31Talk to me
06:32It's pretty funny that he's actually here because I think on social media she was watching a lot of his
06:39stuff
06:40I know that she thinks he's really funny and comedic
06:43Seeing the clip with him coming in and him saying it's Deek the guy that gets in between your girl
06:50and your guy or whatever like
06:52Time will tell but I think Iris is strong enough to know the difference between him and I
06:59Why?
06:59And well, let me let me also say like the second you see the clip
07:04You feel one way and then the five seconds later where I'm at right now
07:08I'm thinking okay, so now this could be a bigger threat and now I'm a little more worried than I
07:13was ten seconds ago
07:14Our brains want to protect us from pain and unfortunately what I'm trying to get you to do is drop
07:21that protection to feel pain
07:23Which also lives in your relationship with the single girls
07:26So maybe some of the women in the house you want me to open up and really explore that
07:33What I'm saying is if you're sitting with somebody you feel something
07:36Feel that just like we felt what we felt at the bonfire
07:39Okay, I can I can definitely work on that
07:42Edgar
07:45Okay pal, let's watch together
07:48Here we go
07:50Let them know
07:52Prepare the J
07:54No, we're doing TS
08:00Oh, kiss Tommy! He's so sexy!
08:02Yay!
08:02Yay!
08:20I'm relieved to see that they weren't having sex
08:24Okay
08:26I know and I want to let go
08:32I'm just trying to
08:34Get my heart to also let go
08:36Why do you feel that you need to let go?
08:39Because it hurts to love her, Mark
08:44It hurt before we got here
08:48It hurt when we were here together
08:54And now it's just like amplified ten times
08:57You had said last time that she was lying to herself
09:01You're lying to yourself
09:02So this gap between what you want to be and what is
09:06What do you think Jillian was lying to you about?
09:09Or lying to herself about?
09:12I think Jillian was lying to herself about
09:16How much she actually loves me
09:17So then, if she was lying to herself about that, what were you lying to yourself about with Jillian?
09:23I was, um, projecting the ideal woman on her when she wasn't
09:36She's human
09:37Yeah
09:38That's really insightful
09:40Do you think there's part of you that is, doesn't like it, but is used to the feeling of loving
09:47more than the other person?
09:54Why do you think that is?
09:57I'm not sure
09:59I'm not sure either
10:03Okay
10:06You're not ready for me, are you, LaSalle?
10:08Ready, hanging on
10:10Let's take a look
10:13How you been feeling, though, lately, after everything?
10:17Well, last night was a little bit rough, but I just gotta keep reminding myself to really think about what
10:24makes me happy, and that is being with someone who feels comfortable showing their emotions
10:32What are you writing, babe?
10:34I put BB
10:34Oh, BB?
10:35That bitch?
10:36Blake Womenshine
10:47What are you feeling right now?
10:50I can't even say I'm upset, to be honest
10:53I would like to say I feel hurt, but I don't
10:56I know she mentioned that, you know, I wish I could be with someone who was expressive, and I just
11:01didn't have the space to do that
11:04Obviously, right now I'm just a lot more authentic with how I feel, I'm more expressive
11:07I tell Trace, yesterday I told her I love her
11:11That was big
11:13And I never thought I'd say that
11:16Hold on
11:17So you really, you told her you love her?
11:21Yeah
11:22What's that?
11:24What are you feeling right now?
11:27Is guilt?
11:29Because I know she's gonna see that, and she's gonna be hurt by that, but it's real
11:34You know, everything I'm feeling, that's legit, that's authentic
11:37And at first, I was holding that back, and I said, oh, I don't want to hurt Ashley
11:41But then, I'm here for myself, I'm not here to protect anybody else's feelings, I'm here to discover mine
11:47Are you saying you're falling out of love with Ashley?
11:51Or is this in addition to?
11:53No, if I'm being honest with myself, I think I am
11:56I'm gonna caution all of you for making any definitive decisions until you're done
12:01Imagine how much has changed since we met, right?
12:05Well, there's potential for more
12:08One more thing
12:09Soon, you'll have the option to send a 30-second video message to your girlfriends
12:16Now, you can say whatever you want in this message, and you don't have to send one if you don't
12:21want to
12:22It's entirely up to you
12:23Got it?
12:26Okay, boys
12:27That's it
12:29Back to the villa, good luck on your journey
12:33And keep working
12:35Good job
12:36All right, guys
12:39Right now, I'm feeling a range of emotions
12:41I am happy that Ashley is forming an emotional connection with someone
12:46And it makes me feel a little bit less guilty having my emotional connection
13:11Oh, it's good to be home
13:14Never thought I'd say that about this house
13:18Considering if I should send a video message or not
13:20I'm probably not gonna send one
13:22Oh, I don't have shit to say
13:24Yeah
13:25Or I will send one and just say, hey, you up?
13:29Anya has been his way through life
13:32And I'm being shown that I am making the absolute right choice here
13:36By deciding that his happiness really doesn't involve me and it never has
13:42Like if I do send anything, I don't want it to be petty and that's gonna be my first instinct
13:47And I feel like being like you were never worthy of that amount of love from me
13:54But I don't want to say that to him in a message
13:57Why?
13:58I want to say that to his face
14:01The words are gone
14:03The words are gone
14:06The words are gone
14:09Oh, they look so good
14:13I know
14:14Hi
14:15Hey
14:17How'd it go?
14:19You doing alright
14:19I didn't have to watch another sex tape, which is really nice
14:22That's really good
14:22Thank you
14:23You got some words on this one?
14:24Yes, some words on this one
14:26Not very many
14:27There's a big part of me that feels like a fool
14:32You know?
14:33Like an idiot
14:36Like I've been kidding myself
14:39Watching her connect with him
14:41It just hurts
14:43And so
14:46I'm really glad for the opportunity to send her a message tomorrow
14:50I mean, I finally saw her having a conversation, you know?
14:53Yeah, I was really wanted
14:54And that's what I wanted
14:55Yes
14:56But it was also like, hard to watch because, you know, I know she's like, really connecting to this person
15:02But I'm proud of her, you know, because she's always telling me that she doesn't connect with people
15:07And so she found somebody
15:08And so like, I'm proud of her
15:10And yes, for her, that includes sex
15:13So, there it is, you know?
15:15Okay
15:16I know Hanya's trying to look on the bright side of things, like trying to put a positive spin on
15:21what he sees at the bonfire
15:22I think in some ways, Hanya may be romanticizing his relationship
15:27So I'm nervous that she's gonna let him down
15:30And I care about Hanya, so that would suck
15:35I'm releasing her
15:36Yeah
15:37And tonight
15:40Helped
15:43Reinforce that idea
15:44Yeah
15:45Because I mean, they just showed me clips of her making out with what's his face
15:50That's how hurtful
15:52She's in the shit
15:53She's really going for it
15:56Yeah, she is
15:57And
15:58I don't care anymore
16:01We're supposed to get videos tomorrow
16:04Oh, that the girl sent?
16:06Yeah
16:06And I don't want one
16:07It's time for you to figure out what Edgar wants
16:11And what Edgar needs, and give that to yourself
16:19We saw who the other guy was that went in the house
16:23Yeah
16:24So it was Deke
16:25Yeah, Deke
16:26Like, when she saw him, she ran up, seemed like she was a little starstruck
16:29Like, holy shit, she's really kind of about this guy in this stargazing type of way
16:37And it's just like, I would love for her to look at me like that kind of thing
16:42He's a character
16:44It's probably one of the bigger threats, maybe, to the whole thing
16:47I think Deke plans on, you know, he's going there with a purpose
16:53And if, like, Luke's girlfriend's already fangirling over him, it might be trouble
17:00Yeah
17:02I think they're going to be
17:03That's my honest opinion
17:07A lot of times at night, you would think that Ashley would come up to mind a lot more
17:11But she hasn't
17:13And it's like, that means I'm moving on
17:17And it's a good feeling, but also
17:22I just need to process me feeling guilty about making her feel sad
17:26I feel like I'm hurting my best friend
17:30I'm feeling like a mix of grateful that I found someone and found myself
17:35But also guilty that, because of that, it hurts her
17:41I just, I care about her as a person
17:43Mm-hmm
17:43So I want her to know that what I'm doing is legit
17:47Like, a legit love you
17:50We've had our inconsistencies with, you know, feelings, and I still have that, like, part of me that's like
18:00Mm-hmm, don't get your upset
18:01Yeah
18:02Like, you're saying that, but, you know
18:04Yeah
18:04We still have some time here, then shit may change
18:07I'm sure right now, in this space, right here, I'm a very happy person
18:13That's all that matters
18:13Because I've been working on myself
18:16Mm-hmm
18:17We've been working on us
18:19If I had to make a decision now, I would lay with you
18:23Why are you lying?
18:25There is a piece of hope that I'm like, you know, maybe he will pick me over everything
18:29But I'm still think it's just very premature
18:31And I still think he has a lot of emotions and thoughts that he kind of has to come to
18:37terms with before he makes that decision
18:39Talking can definitely help, it's so helpful
18:41Mm-hmm
18:43Mm-hmm
18:46Mm-hmm
18:47Mm-hmm
18:56I saw that my boyfriend was talking to the same girl, saying, I want you to be my girlfriend, my
19:02wife, forget Ashley
19:05You know, I feel like the past seven years were just fake, like, lies he was telling me, and now
19:11I see his true colors
19:13But I feel like I don't deserve anything like that, but I still, I still couldn't deal with it
19:25Maybe I'm just too afraid to just move on
19:30And I know it's not good, but still I just, I kind of just suck it up
19:39It's nothing you did, I can promise you that
19:42I know I didn't do anything wrong
19:43Exactly
19:43You and me have just been here, just enjoying each other's company
19:50Yeah
20:02I feel like I had to see something like that from LaSalle's in order to be like, alright, my walls
20:09are down now, time to do what I think is best for me, and now I feel free
20:14Now that you're gone
20:19This is over and you're gone
20:27Love might get lost, but then it's found again
20:32That's why I'm holding on, cause I got you, baby
20:40Oh, it's so cold in here
20:41Hey!
20:43Hey!
20:43Hi!
20:44What's up, everyone?
20:45I was just talking about our problems and like
20:47Yeah
20:48Problems again
20:51Thank you
20:55Wrote a song yesterday, for the Ashleys
20:58I think it's gonna open up the floodgates
21:02It's the floodgates
21:03Here you go, my boy
21:05Taylor wants to play the guitar
21:07Oh my God, I'm finding new things out
21:14Baby, baby, baby, won't you come my way
21:20Tomorrow's not promised today
21:24It hurts me to see you in pain
21:27But, baby, is he worth the wait?
21:31Let's play your greatest game
21:35Take me
21:36Take you to a better place
21:38Let me, let me, let me lead the way
21:43So, baby, won't you come my way
21:47Oh, my God
21:49Hey!
21:51So beautiful!
21:51I didn't think you could get more attractive
21:53That was so wrong
21:54Oh, my goodness
21:56That was so beautiful
21:58Thank you
22:06I've never had anyone write a song for me
22:08So I was a little bit scared, honestly
22:10I was like, oh, my God
22:11Am I gonna feel second-hand embarrassment?
22:13Is this gonna be absolutely horrible?
22:18It wasn't
22:21You're attacking me
22:22Oh
22:24I'm fighting all these feelings
22:27Ooh
22:28I'll never let it go
22:32I'll never let it go
22:36Lacelle, you gonna come to L.A. and train me and Trace?
22:38You're gonna train me, all right
22:40Uh-huh
22:40Get her, get her, get her
22:43Oh!
22:47Sorry
22:48I realize, like, sexual temptation is a big part of it or whatever
22:52But I'm not really here to, like, take advantage of an opportunity to around
22:55Yeah
22:56I literally have done that
22:58I know
22:59My entire sexual life
23:00So as I'm developing this relationship with Karina, emotional and intellectual
23:05I'm also feeling absolutely attracted to her
23:08Yeah, it's so frustrating
23:10I mean, you're all beautiful and attractive
23:13And, like, if I wasn't so in love, I probably would totally bone you, you know what I mean?
23:19Yay!
23:21And so, it's difficult because seeing what I'm seeing at the bonfires, I'm tempted to retaliate, you know?
23:27But I've told myself I will not react and retaliate, but just act with intention
23:37You're a naughty, naughty
23:42Douche, or what's it? Deek
23:44Okay, yeah, you, yeah
23:46But, Deek is a test to, like, see my feelings of jealousy and then be able to pull back
23:55And then just say, whatever, that's happening for its own self and not take it personally
24:00And then
24:00If they make out, will you get back together with her?
24:04It's hard to say
24:07I feel like you deserve better than that
24:09I do
24:14Oh shit
24:17Storms are brewing
24:26I feel like everything was super chaotic after, like, seeing that one clip
24:30You know, being told to off by my boyfriend of three years
24:34Yeah, that's a lot
24:35But what about you? How do you feel?
24:40It's just weird
24:42I just emotionally don't know where I'm at with this
24:47You do have a boyfriend or did have a boyfriend and then, like, jumping right into something else
24:52I feel like Tommy and I definitely have chemistry, but he seems a little less interested
24:58Which is totally fine by me
24:59It's just, if I'm gonna go out there and risk my relationship and be interested in somebody else
25:05I need that back in return
25:06I think, for me, it's scary to even go as far as we have
25:10If there's, like, no chance that, like, anything will ever come of this
25:14I care for you and I don't want to hurt you, you know?
25:17You have to trust that I can take care of myself
25:19I know you can
25:21You're not gonna ruin me
25:22Maybe I'll shed a few tears, but, like, like, I think it's worth giving it a shot
25:27Okay, but, like, at the end of this, like, if it doesn't work out, I don't want you to be
25:30like
25:30He only used me because he liked kissing me and wanted to be in my bed
25:33And, like, that's not where I'm at
25:35Like, I know you know, ah!
25:40I know! I hear you! Like, I get it!
25:43I'm starting to realize that I'm not where I need to be emotionally
25:46There is no pressure and there's no...
25:49What's happening tomorrow
25:51It's just, if we enjoy spending time with each other, we enjoy spending time with each other
25:54And that's how it is
25:55Just shut up!
25:57Literally, shut the up!
25:59Shut the up!
26:04Okay
26:09Go jump in the ocean, you need to cool off
26:14Every time, you know, we go on these dates and everything, I get to know more about you, you know
26:19We get more comfortable with each other, holding you in my arms, you know, that's just
26:23It's those little things that just makes me happy
26:25Like, I don't want to have, like, what ifs
26:26Like, what if I didn't do that, or what if I didn't do this with Blake
26:31And I feel like you are supposed to be, like, in my life for a reason
26:35You do mean a lot to me, actually
26:37Like, you mean a lot
26:40I'm a very special person
26:42You do mean that
26:46I wanna kiss you right now, but I feel like it would be a little silly
26:49You can kiss me
26:50Oh, you mean that?
26:53Yeah
27:01Feels good, feels right
27:04Blushing on the inside
27:07Lips were soft
27:08Now, we're actually making a physical connection
27:12I haven't felt like this for a girl in a long time
27:15Kissing Blake feels magical
27:17It was the kiss that both of us have been waiting for
27:21I feel like I was holding back because I thought about the cells and what he would think
27:26But I'm over that, and I'm just, like, tired of being sad
27:29I'm ready to go after what I want
27:31You got me going
27:33If I belong to you
27:43Hey, yo, I'm ready
27:44Keep this thing going
27:47Hello, boys
27:48Are y'all ready to party?
27:49Oh, hot damn
27:50The parade
27:51Oh, shit
27:53Man, it's the lingerie party, and the ladies are looking mighty fine
27:59No telling how this night will end
28:01But what I'm most freaking out about is what I'm wearing under my swim trunks
28:07Which is the straight-up banana hammock
28:11And, you know?
28:15Marissa looks just stunning
28:19I can't help but not take my eyes off of Marissa
28:22Should I have taken those off?
28:24Eventually
28:24All right, we need five people
28:26Bring it on
28:27Bring it on
28:28Bring it on
28:28Yeah, right here
28:28Yeah
28:31All right, cue the music
28:33All right, cue the music
28:40My balls are out
28:43The ladies are on the prowl
28:45So, look out
28:47I hope you guys are up at the other house
28:50Because if you aren't
28:51You should
28:52Braces up!
28:55They're ours now
28:56Respectfully
29:05I ain't gonna lie, it's very sexual in here
29:07A lot of hip rolling
29:09A little bit of thrusting
29:10And a lot of loving
29:15I unfortunately danced on Hania's lap
29:18I'm really sorry
29:19Unfortunately? Excuse me?
29:19I hope that everybody really enjoyed that
29:22Hania definitely did
29:23I'm into it
29:24What can I say?
29:32This is, I think, the first time that we do fully express the physical connection that we have with each
29:40other
29:44Or should a guy
29:53Oh my god
29:55He wasn't just giving me a lap dance
29:57He was giving me a lap dance
29:59And looking into not my eyes, but my soul
30:07I love that.
30:16Get ready!
30:18On your mark, go!
30:33Absolute rager tonight.
30:35Banger.
30:36Banger of all bangers.
30:41Let's go!
30:42First party with everybody together where people don't absolutely hate him.
30:46Yeah, so that should be fun.
30:48Yeah, that should be fun.
30:52Jillian came in with the heat now!
30:55I'm in love.
30:56Whoa!
30:57I'm not saying that!
30:59I'm in like...
31:00With the possibility...
31:02You know?
31:04Of extra like.
31:06Of a super like.
31:08Of a super like.
31:09Iris!
31:10Iris!
31:11Iris!
31:11I already took two.
31:13I did!
31:15I'm good.
31:15I'm good.
31:17Fine!
31:18Fine!
31:18Yeah!
31:23Yeah!
31:25Yeah!
31:27Yeah!
31:28Y'all are great!
31:31Gotta jump down for that girl!
31:34Cool!
31:38Yeah!
31:39She's a baddie!
31:41She's a baddie!
31:43She's a baddie!
31:45I love y'all.
31:46She's a baddie!
31:48Irish is looking good.
31:49She's looking like a little snack.
31:51Her boyfriend splits bills at fast food restaurants.
31:54What kind of bullshit is that?
31:56Oh my God, you are not!
31:58I'm really excited that Deke is here
32:00because I'm the only one here not coupled up,
32:03and I feel like Deke is someone
32:05who I would love to take on a date.
32:07Hey!
32:09How?
32:10How?
32:13How?
32:14How?
32:14How?
32:15How?
32:16You know, you and Tommy, like, well...
32:19My fire club is about to be so bad.
32:24Anything's gonna happen tonight?
32:26Just probably some kissing.
32:28Okay.
32:29Nothing more than that.
32:31Like, you know how I feel.
32:33I've told you a thousand times.
32:35I can't tell you a single time warm.
32:39So are you gonna come to bed or what?
32:42I need to take a shower.
32:44Me too.
32:45All right, let's go.
32:49I'm glad that we finally got through
32:51whatever weird stuff was going on,
32:53and now we're just, you know,
32:55enjoying each other's company.
33:05kissing her is amazing once I get out of my head,
33:08and that's what I'm trying to work on right now
33:11is just be in the moment
33:12and just enjoy every little second that I have here
33:15with Jillian while I have it.
33:16You're driving me crazy.
33:20Yeah, you know that I want you.
33:30All right.
33:31All right, there's just a lot of booties.
33:37I know.
33:38Hooties are a game.
33:39Now go twerk.
33:40Me?
33:40No.
33:41Are you asking me this?
33:43Please.
33:44I definitely have a really good connection
33:47building with Paige.
33:49She's hot, and she's just a bottle rocket ready to pop.
33:53And the same thing with Megan.
34:02I got some shit to say.
34:04I know y'all seen Edgar and Marissa.
34:06I mean, obviously, like, they're just so into each other.
34:12I'm not going to walk around here looking like a fool.
34:16So...
34:16She's dead.
34:17I'm over it.
34:18I'm not doing it.
34:19Cause are you?
34:20No.
34:21Never.
34:21Okay, I'm not doing it.
34:23I'm not doing it.
34:23I'm with you, sis.
34:30Can you go put pants on?
34:31I don't like everybody seeing my shit.
34:35Go put some shorts on.
34:37When Hanyu's hair is wet,
34:40he looks like Thor.
34:44And Karina, I bet you it thinks the same thing.
34:51Are you trying to kiss me?
34:52No.
34:53I'm just with you.
34:54Okay.
34:55Why?
34:56Don't with my emotions like that.
34:58Really?
34:59You know, it's difficult for me to resist this temptation
35:03because she's sort of miming all this kissing stuff,
35:07and I definitely am feeling like I want to kiss her back.
35:10I don't know.
35:11I mean, I can't deny that I kind of want you to kiss me.
35:16Okay.
35:18Hearing Hanyu say he wished that I kissed him,
35:21it feels nice because I like feeling that, like, I'm wanted,
35:25but he obviously trusts me a lot.
35:27So, like, breaking that, I don't want him to, like, resent me,
35:30or, like, it become a different relationship.
35:34So, maybe you should kiss me.
35:38Mmm.
35:41Well, thanks for telling me.
35:44Yeah.
35:45You know, just gotta complain about that.
35:48No one is in this house.
35:50No, nobody is.
35:52Y'all getting a little close now.
35:54So?
35:56You're a lady.
35:57Yes.
35:58And I would treat you as a queen.
35:59I know.
36:01This whole time, up until the lingerie party,
36:04I've just kind of held back and, like, you know,
36:07just been very shy and not ready to take things to the next level,
36:12but it.
36:13Like, let's do this.
36:15Like, what am I holding back for?
36:19Sleepover!
36:21I don't have any more doubts.
36:22I don't think Marissa has any doubts either at this point.
36:27Yeah.
36:31Hey, Marissa.
36:32Welcome to my bed.
36:40Our first kiss is sexy.
36:43Marissa's passionate.
36:44And I loved it.
36:52And there's nothing to hold us back right now.
36:55I've never been so high.
36:59Make this nice forever.
37:04Make this nice forever.
37:07Make this nice forever.
37:10I know, I know, I'm so dumb.
37:27But I'm stupid for you.
37:30Lay here with me.
37:33Lay here with me.
37:40I have so much fun.
37:42I've been cheating like princess.
37:44Aw.
37:46Last night, Marissa and I got really intimate.
37:49And it all happened super fast.
37:51And I don't think, originally, either of us were expecting to do that.
37:56And I think we're both maybe now on the same page in terms of how strongly we feel about each
38:02other.
38:07I think me and Edgar, we're in a really good place right now.
38:13So, yeah.
38:14It's been going good.
38:15I'm happy.
38:32I feel like after I see whatever I'm going to see, probably will be a little less fine.
38:42Today is our video message.
38:44I hope that Edgar's message is not too painful or angry.
38:51I hope that he can explain some ways he's grown.
38:54I don't know whether he's going to, like, be, like, angry.
38:58Like, how could you do this to me?
39:00Like, that sort of thing.
39:01Because your video is very nice and, like, thoughtful.
39:06I have no, like, bad blood towards him.
39:08Like, I feel like I would have been the same way, like, if he had sex with a girl in
39:12the house, let's say.
39:13I feel like I would have been relatively forgiving.
39:17Really?
39:18I probably, I mean, yeah.
39:24Like, I would have been hurt, but, like, I wouldn't hate him.
39:27Yeah.
39:31So we shall see.
39:34I know where I'm going, where I'll be, and it's plain to see.
39:44I'm on a whole nother level.
39:47You do not fit in my schedule.
39:49I don't look back.
39:51You live in the past.
39:52I'm moving so fast and you crash.
39:54Today is video message day, and I feel angry with her.
40:00From the previous bonfires, I just feel like that hope was just taken and just thrown against the wall.
40:06There really aren't any words that she can tell me to change the way I feel right now.
40:11She really let me down.
40:16Hi, E. I miss you.
40:19I'm so grateful for our love and all the wonderful ways you've added to my life.
40:24I can never thank you enough for all the things you've taught me.
40:27I love who you are so much.
40:30You deserve the world and more.
40:32I can't wait to see all the amazing things you do next in life, and I will be here to
40:37support you every step of the way for the rest of our lives.
40:40Love you.
40:44I don't feel like Jillian is being honest with me.
40:47I just don't believe any of it, and I hate the fact that I feel this way.
40:51Regardless of our romantic relationship, we were still friends, and we were best friends,
40:56and I don't know how to feel about anything that she says.
41:01I love the woman, but it hurts.
41:06And as much as it hurts to see Jillian and to think of her, I am really strengthening my connection
41:13with Marissa.
41:16And, I mean, I think that just makes me feel so much stronger about this situation.
41:21It makes me feel more confident within myself.
41:35I am not sure what to expect, and I'm honestly really scared.
41:40I think if I were to hear from Edgar how disappointed he is in me, I would definitely have a
41:46very hard time proceeding with Tommy.
41:48So if Edgar's message is hard on me, I don't know if I'll be able to follow my heart anymore.
41:56Hey, G. It's E.
42:03I don't really have a lot to say right now.
42:08But, um, thank you for bringing me on this journey with you.
42:17And, I hope you find what you're looking for.
42:23After watching the video that he sent me, I definitely think Edgar has a bit of anger still.
42:29I could see that in his eyes.
42:30I think Edgar's angry that I'm entertaining things with another person, because I think if he had it his way,
42:37we would still leave together.
42:48I'm pretty nervous.
42:50I'm not sure if Ashley's going to send me a message or not.
42:53But I hope it's coming from a lot of love, and I'm just curious to see what she has to
42:57say.
43:02Hey, LaSalle's. I finally see the light.
43:06I see the answers unfolding right in front of my eyes.
43:10I deserve so much better than what I was given.
43:13I met someone here that shows me what it's like to feel appreciated, loved, and respected to the fullest.
43:22I am no longer bottling up my emotions and hiding from the truth.
43:26I love the woman that I'm becoming, and I'm so excited to share the new and improved Ashley to the
43:33world, whether it's with you or not.
43:42I'm feeling a lot of things right now.
43:44I'm a bit emotional because I know that, in Ash's eyes, I've failed her in the past, even though I
43:50know I did everything I could.
43:51But also, I feel happy knowing that she's building that confidence and working on independence, and that's something that resonates
43:58with me truly.
44:00I still want to develop my relationship with Trace, but it's a tough truth to swallow knowing that this could
44:06lead to the end of our relationship.
44:14Waking up and getting ready to view this video message feels like, oh shit, it's about to be real.
44:20I really hope LaSalle tells me that he's willing to change for our relationship, but we will see.
44:32Hey, Ashley. Initially, we came here to look for our independence and our own identity.
44:37Throughout this journey, I've begun to do just that.
44:40I hope your journey has been parallel to mine.
44:43Here, I'm allowing myself to rediscover that I'm an actual human being with value, outside of the obligations I have
44:49as a partner.
44:50I'm really looking forward to seeing you and having a conversation about where we stand.
44:54I love you dearly.
44:59Karen Glassell, say I love you.
45:01It definitely made me question, did he really love me this whole time?
45:05Wrong about you.
45:08Never think that you do me like that.
45:10Like, what the f*** is wrong with him? Honestly, like, if he did love me, then the bonfire eclipse wouldn't
45:18be exactly what I saw.
45:19I guess I was wrong about you.
45:24You can start trying to get me back.
45:26No, no, I can't happen, can't happen.
45:38You can't outrun it or defeat it.
45:43Getting a video message means so much to me.
45:45I haven't had a chance to really hear from Iris directly besides bonfires, but that's just me being a fly
45:51on the wall.
45:52And in this instance, I'm able to really get a grasp on how she's feeling in her process and what
45:58she's looking for out of me.
46:02Hi, Lukey. I've experienced a lot of growth during this journey, and I hope you have too.
46:07My main focus here has been really learning to love myself, and I never took the time to do that
46:12before, which wasn't good for us.
46:14I want to see more accountability on your end for constantly breaking my trust.
46:19You saying that I always bring up the past and don't let us move forward with the future makes me
46:24feel like my feelings are not valid.
46:27Imagine always forgiving someone for constantly breaking your trust and not knowing if they'll ever change.
46:34The last time I caught you was a few months ago, which is recent.
46:37Please think about that.
46:39I hope you get all the growth you need out of this journey just like I will.
46:43I love you.
46:54I have broken Iris' trust in the past, and I've been a crappy boyfriend, so Iris has every right to
47:00be upset that I've texted and flirted with other girls behind her back.
47:03But I'm at a place where I no longer want to act like that ever again.
47:08I feel more inspired than ever to keep feeling, keep being emotional, because I still have work to do to
47:15be the man that she deserves.
47:29I'm hoping that Luke sends me a video message where he's taking some accountability.
47:34If Luke doesn't realize what he needs to work on, then I just may have to leave alone.
47:43Hey, Iris, I miss you so much.
47:45When I first got here, I was worried about making physical connections, but I'm realizing it's emotional connections I need
47:51to work on, and I'm doing that.
47:53I see now I wasn't the best partner in our relationship, and I've learned now who I want to be
47:59in either this relationship or the next.
48:01I'm so excited of all the progress I've been making, and I hope you're growing just as much as I
48:06am.
48:06I love you so much, and I'll see you soon.
48:15In the video that Luke sent me, he said that he misses me so much, so that was good to
48:20hear.
48:21He also said that he realizes he hasn't been the best partner to me.
48:24It sounds like he's taking some accountability.
48:28I felt like maybe this whole time he was blaming me, and it appears that he's realized that he has
48:36things to work on in relationships.
48:38I just am not sure if that'll be with me or not quite yet.
48:48It's gotten really, really hard for me to care.
48:53If I do receive a video message, I would want to feel realness, authenticity, rawness, chaos, something, actual affection for
49:04me, feelings like he does actually miss me.
49:10Got some anxiety with it.
49:18Ash, I have learned so much.
49:21I trust you have too.
49:23I see you connecting, and I'm so proud of you.
49:27I've come to realize that as I pushed you to follow your heart, I ignored my own.
49:33I didn't listen.
49:34I was living in fear instead of in love.
49:38Know that I hear you, see you, and I'm no longer afraid.
49:44I know who I am and what I want.
49:47I love you, and I can't wait to see you.
49:56Hanya has no idea how to not make everything some theatrical piece of shit.
50:02He'd deliver a monologue from like a Shakespeare play.
50:07I really don't feel any emotion behind it.
50:09Why does everything sound so rehearsed when he speaks?
50:15I, like I am seriously beginning to doubt he can be authentic and like connect emotions with his brain.
50:25I think the thing that hurts the most about this clip is no one has pushed me to follow my
50:30dreams my entire life.
50:32Pushed you to follow your heart and didn't follow mine.
50:36Shut up.
50:37You followed everything you felt like from your heart downtown to a piece of acid.
50:47I don't feel like he's actually grown.
50:50I can't wait to see you.
50:52Like what have you been seeing of me that would...
50:55I would be terrified to meet me again.
51:02And it's gonna be really, really hard to not harbor this rage that I'm feeling every single time he talks.
51:24This whole time I've been dying to hear what she has to say and just remind me that she loves
51:31me.
51:34And to hear that she has been learning.
51:48I was really, really desperately hoping to get a video message from Ash today.
51:53But I think that I'm getting a message despite there being no video.
52:01I think my head right now is all over the place.
52:04This process has really shown me just how much I do love her.
52:09How much I did love her and didn't know it.
52:12I haven't felt as far away from her as I do now.
52:15And all I know is what I feel in my heart of hearts that I've never loved her more.
52:30I'm absolutely terrified that I have lost the greatest love of my life.
52:35I've never mentioned.
52:37Did it to yourself.
52:39I did it to yourself.
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