00:00Stay tuned for more milk and cookie after this promo for our latest show here on The Idiot Box,
00:06your number one source for C-Plus Entertainment.
00:10So, tell me about yourself.
00:13Me?
00:13Grape Soda.
00:15What do you want to know?
00:17If this is a scam, I'm breaking your ribs and reassembling them into a xylophone.
00:21And if you don't reassemble that attitude, you're gonna be the one breaking something tonight.
00:30Ooh! I love sharing personal anecdotes about my experiences!
00:35My name is Finder, and I'm an aspiring scholar who loves science, literature, world history, and mathematics!
00:42I'm an exceptional learner and an even greater teacher!
00:45See, back in middle school, you can call me Bacon!
00:49I'm honored that out of all the poor saps in this world, you picked me to come to your studio.
00:55I guess that's because I'm already pretty famous myself, eh?
01:00You saw me on the 5 o'clock news last night, right?
01:03High-speed vehicle choice.
01:05Crashed into a burger monarch and ran over the cashier.
01:09Stole 27 ketchup packets.
01:12That was me!
01:17You're not secretly a knock in disguise, right?
01:21I'd like to think that my greatness speaks for itself.
01:24Wouldn't you agree?
01:26No.
01:27Hi!
01:28Tommy's name is Tommy!
01:30Is Tommy on TV?
01:32No!
01:33Yes!
01:34I mean, yes.
01:35Well, Tommy's always wanted to be on TV!
01:38Does that mean everyone's watching this?
01:40Cause it's so!
01:44Not for you, Kevin!
01:46Don't check under your bed tonight!
01:51How would you feel about joining a game show hosted by yours truly?
01:56You'll be rewarded handsomely if you win.
01:59If I win, if I win, are you implying that a powerful athletic force of dominance like me can't win
02:06some lame game show?
02:08Do you want to win or do you want to give me a headache?
02:11Yay, a game!
02:13Tommy loves games, especially games where there's mayhem and chaos.
02:18Mayhem and chaos?
02:20In my reality show?
02:23Now there's something I ain't seen on The Idiot Box before.
02:26I like a host that doesn't care what kind of gratuitous violence they can get away with showing on TV.
02:32Sign me up!
02:33Rewarded?
02:34Uh, why don't I just steal your stupid prize?
02:37Eh?
02:38Eh?
02:39Oh yeah?
02:41That's how it's gonna be?
02:42I can thank you both!
02:44Give it your best shot!
02:45Ah!
02:45Ah!
02:45But that's when I discovered that I forgot to cite my sources!
02:50Oh!
02:51Oh!
02:52It was terrible!
02:54An absolute tragedy!
02:56That day, I thought I'd get laughed out of a debate club for good,
03:00snubbed from future discussions with my fellow intellects,
03:04seen as a fool!
03:06A fool!
03:07But then, as it turned out, it was just a practice session and I was A-OK!
03:11I...
03:12I didn't go on for too long, did I?
03:16And what if I told you that the prize was a golden ticket to your greatest desire?
03:23Classified government documents for me?
03:25A gun?
03:26The White House paved over and demolished in place of a solid gold statue of myself?
03:32The appreciation of my parents?
03:34A 1997 Cungadero Goop, $10 million, the extinction of rats, and a double bacon cheeseburger?
03:45Yeah?
03:47I'm in.
03:48Sign me up even faster!
03:51Pummy is ready!
03:52Look out, world!
03:53Because Pummy's gonna take you by storm!
03:56Even though Pummy hates thunderstorms,
03:58can Pummy use a different analogy?
04:00Pummy's not proud of-
04:00I would make a better president anyway!
04:02My curiosity has been peaked in my excitement immeasurable!
04:06Me personally, I cannot wait to-
04:10Just say you want to compete, oh my god!
04:15I was actually on a game show before, though it got cancelled at the first episode.
04:20Because I slipped a bit of poison into the host's coffee for Darren to eliminate me first!
04:27And no, it was not because of troubled production like the media will have you believe-
04:31My family is super rich!
04:34Cause they're all athletes like myself, right?
04:36And they'll actually bribe you into giving me the golden ticket!
04:39Work back at the high school soccer days!
04:42And before you say that's illegal,
04:44I'll bribe you even more to cut my last few sentences from the final airing!
04:49Object Bloodshed!
04:50Ticket to Hell!
04:51Murderpalooza 2023!
04:52Brawl of the Objects!
04:54That one's not taken, right?
04:56There isn't already a show called that?
04:57Ugh.
04:58Amusing guesses.
04:59But the show is actually called-
05:09So, uh, is, uh, is $50 a good enough deal?
05:16Yes?
05:17No?
05:18Hello?
05:19Get out before I eliminate you first!
05:31Easy Mouse Groupласт head!
05:36Let's change the costume that works!
05:38And see how beautiful I hope you all agree!for
05:39that Ooh! Wonder줄
05:54that just puts us on top of the side! And then
05:54that gives me the diabdo紀 to do! But the Join
05:54guys stop looking for a while! It's like
05:54you again! So my제's
05:54help you to make people underestimate you for comfort Abeousness,
05:55to about you make new stuff! You don't need a công
05:58to the zone, and I have a Α志.
06:07I'll see you next time.
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