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Rivals - Season 1 Episode 5 Engsub PrimeCut Series
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00:02Fancy a bite, Rupert?
00:04Oh, that's wrong.
00:06Mr. Campbell Black, may I interest you in some pudding?
00:10Yes, you can.
00:14I was coming to find you.
00:16It was me thinking you were going to grandmother's house.
00:18My grandmother lives in Ireland.
00:21I had some leftovers from a job I did.
00:23It's a spare jam roly-poly.
00:25Can I interest you in a bite, a bit of it?
00:28I'll have one.
00:29Hi, Baz. I made it with rhubarb.
00:32Yeah.
00:36Oh, my God.
00:38You're such excellent. Are you not having any?
00:40No, I'm fine. Shall we head back?
00:43Okay, then.
00:45Bye, then.
00:46Fine. Delicious.
00:48Well, someone's got a huge schoolgirl crutch.
00:51I'm ridiculous. It's just being thoughtful. I was talking about you.
00:55Roly-poly, you lucky bugger.
00:56Not lucky at all.
00:58I promised Declan I wouldn't go anywhere near her.
01:01Well, I'm glad to see you kept your promise.
01:04Hey.
01:05Yeah.
01:21You're right.
01:22He's okay.
01:23I'm sorry.
01:24You were hungry.
01:50And now our TV pick of the week.
01:51Declan O'Hara has been dominating the front pages,
01:54pictured visiting 10 Downing Street with Minister for Sport Rupert Campbell Black.
01:58This week, Mrs. Thatcher returns the invitation,
02:00putting herself in the hot seat for a good O'Hara grilling.
02:04As Declan's star rises even higher at Carinium than it did at the BBC,
02:07we're asking ourselves, is this the most powerful man in television?
02:26Mr. O'Hara, Enid Spink, big fan.
02:30I'll be watching Thursday.
02:32Give that milk snatcher a run for her money.
02:33I won't let her up easily.
02:35You have my word.
02:36Dame Enid, can I take you through to Studio Two?
02:38We can't get Mr. Ferrick, I'll wait.
02:43Now, James, we have a real treat today, don't we?
02:46Yes, Sarah, one of England's leading contemporary composers,
02:49and she is a Rutger resident.
02:51So, let's have a warm Cotswolds Roundup welcome
02:54for our special guest, Dame Edna Spink.
03:10Oh, well, now, that was quite an entrance, Dame Edna.
03:12May I call you Edna?
03:13As long as you're not going to ask me to put on a lilac wig
03:15and stuff my brow with Luro.
03:18Apologies, Dame Enid.
03:20You really are a dumb blonde, aren't you, dear?
03:23Well, thank you very much.
03:28So, uh, judge's desk here.
03:30Smashing view of the girls in the swimwear.
03:32Beauty contest.
03:33You are not the only show I'm producing.
03:35Miss Carinium is exactly what the IBA wants to see us join.
03:38Good, regional, wholesome fun.
03:40It was Daisy's brainchild.
03:41Daisy has a brain.
03:43Who knew?
03:45I'm Declan.
03:46Yeah?
03:47Did you get me an Oscar?
03:49Mrs. Thatcher?
03:51I'm so sorry, Daisy, I completely forgot.
03:53I'll get it when she comes in, okay?
03:54Okay, so, how was the meeting?
03:55You and Rupert look pretty cosy in those photos.
03:57Was Thatcher friendly?
03:58Oh, they're fine friendly.
03:59Two boxers circling each other before the big fight.
04:11Thatcher?
04:13She's my Wembley Stadium.
04:16Do you think I should save Northern Ireland for part two after the Sunday shopping bill?
04:20This matters a lot to you.
04:22I have wanted to interview her ever since she handbagged away into number 10, but the BBC
04:27would never let me at her.
04:28Show everyone who she really is.
04:30Whatever she's doing, people want more of it.
04:32She is selling the state after the highest bidder.
04:34No, she has turned this country into a land of haves and have-nots, Cameron.
04:37And you're one of the haves?
04:39Yeah, well, I mean, I wasn't always.
04:42Declan, sorry to just say, Lord B wants you in his office right now.
04:45Pardon me, Joyce.
04:46A friend at Westminster slipped me something.
04:48You're not going to believe it.
04:49It's a draft of a white paper.
04:53This is embargo, right?
04:54Declan.
04:54Yeah, sorry, Joyce.
04:56Tell Tony I'll catch up with him later, all right?
05:01A local authority shall not promote the teaching in any maintained school of the acceptability
05:06of homosexuality as a pretended family relationship.
05:09I mean, it's inhumane.
05:10This is going to make gay people's lives harder than they already are.
05:14Having a tea party?
05:15Inside track and a new government policy.
05:17Fascinating reading.
05:18What do you need?
05:19The PM's office has faxed a list of questions they want you to ask.
05:27How do you manage to balance motherhood and your demanding job?
05:32Do you miss Wilberforce the cat now that he's retired?
05:35What's this joke?
05:36Well, if you don't agree, she won't do the interview.
05:37Just tell them we agree, and then when I get around the show, I can ask my own questions.
05:40You don't care that screwing the government might risk the franchise?
05:43I care that conceding to this shite risks my reputation.
05:47Our reputation!
05:48Tony, he's right.
05:49Once we're live, she can hardly walk off set, can't she?
05:52You promised me editorial freedom, Tony.
05:55I'll ask what I want.
05:56This is my interview.
05:57This is my company.
05:57And I don't ask questions about fucking cats.
06:13Get James Barrickle up here now.
06:20Tony.
06:23It said Edna on the cue cards.
06:25If anyone's head needs to roll here, it's Deirdre's.
06:27Sit down.
06:53No hard feelings.
07:08The Prime Minister.
07:09Declan is yesterday's news.
07:11I feel honoured showing that sofa with you.
07:12Well, after my Thatcher interview, there is a very good chance you'll be on that sofa alone.
07:16I won't be able to film a tea-time show when I've got the prime-time slot.
07:21Would you think I'm good enough to fly solo?
07:23Paul never even watches our show.
07:25Does, um...
07:26Does Lizzie?
07:27Oh, Lizzie, no, she's always too busy writing.
07:29I don't know why she bothers.
07:30I'll just get rejected like the last one.
07:32Well, if I were your wife, I wouldn't be able to take my eyes off you for a second.
07:38Oh.
07:45What the fuck are you playing at?
07:47No one wants to see Verica interview the Prime Minister?
07:49Better than watching you interview an empty chair not to get your friend Rupert back from
07:53another lot in.
07:53Oh, okay.
07:55This is because I didn't eviscerate Rupert for you like you wanted.
07:57No.
07:58It's because you won't do what you're bloody well told.
08:01I bring 20 million viewers to your station each week.
08:05If you don't like the way I work, then I quit.
08:08You might own Carinium, Tony.
08:10Put it on on me.
08:13Hmm.
08:14As it happens, I sort of do.
08:17Firstly, there's that tax bit I clipped for you.
08:19Secondly, well, I was warned you were hard to control.
08:23Luckily, I got a little insurance policy.
08:31Patrick's godfather, I gather, got rather close to Maud last year, didn't he?
08:36Your wife certainly likes a man with a moustache.
08:41You have no idea.
08:44Maud and I don't have secrets.
08:46All right.
08:48But I wonder how happy young Taggy's gonna be when she sees her mother's naked ass across
08:51the centerfold of the Scorpion.
09:00Be sure to cancel any plans you have for Friday night.
09:03Your 20 million viewers will be watching you judge a cutie contest.
09:11Bingo.
09:23Bingo.
09:25Bingo!
09:29You're home early.
09:30I've taken the week off.
09:31I can finally fix the roof.
09:34And Maud the lawn.
09:36So what about Mr. Thatcher?
09:37Tony's given up to Verica.
09:38Why?
09:39What did you do?
09:40I didn't do anything.
09:41Well, I'm surprised you didn't resign on the spot then.
09:43I would have.
09:43But as it turns out, I couldn't.
09:49What does that mean?
10:01Prime Minister.
10:02Yes, Mr. Verica.
10:04How is it you manage to be the perfect woman, balancing motherhood in our country with such
10:08effortless grace?
10:10Well, any woman who understands the problems of running a home will be nearer to understanding
10:17the difficulties of running a country.
10:21And next, the one about her relationship with Verica.
10:22No, I'd go for something more personal while you have her in a soft mood.
10:26You might be right.
10:27This is fun, isn't it?
10:29Like all days on the Bristol Post, when we used to practice together.
10:32Another one.
10:33Ready?
10:33Yes.
10:34Okay.
10:37How do the men in your cabinet respond to your authority, Prime Minister?
10:40Well, Mr. Verica.
10:42Or can I call you James?
10:44The way I see it, being powerful, is like being a lady.
10:50If you have to tell people you are, then you aren't.
10:55What are you doing?
10:58Just try and have a bit of fun.
11:00Please don't.
11:00Okay.
11:01You're not 26 anymore.
11:02No.
11:03Um, right.
11:08Joining our lives on platform two is the 8.36th of London, Paddington.
11:16Let his nipples harden with desire as Fergie led her through the kitchen.
11:20And in the darkness of the scullery, he lifted her red catheter skirt, his fingers sought out
11:25the ladder in her tights.
11:27I love a ladder, Fergie whispered gruffly, stairway to heaven and all that.
11:32Letty gasped urgently as he lingered on the soft, fleshy openings in the nylon.
11:38Step by step, he climbed his way up her inner thigh until he could feel the biblical heat
11:44of her burning bush.
11:46You're a genius.
11:48It's going to be a smash hit.
11:52Darling, we both know this isn't James.
11:57You simply have to be playing away.
11:58Oh, I've been far too busy writing, Carol.
12:01You know what they say?
12:02Keep the drama on the page.
12:03Never heard such nonsense.
12:05Now tell me this man of yours, our hero, is simply too good not to be true.
12:19Freddie Jones!
12:20What are you doing here?
12:22Long, hard day at the Colfax.
12:23I saw you running down the platform.
12:25Oh, lunch round on.
12:26I was plied with champagne and completely lost track of time.
12:29A gentleman buying you champagne, no less than you deserve.
12:32Today was good.
12:33I was actually celebrating with my agent.
12:34She loved the first room chapters of my book.
12:38Well, why don't we continue the celebration in first class?
12:41I only have a second class ticket.
12:42If the conductor comes, I'll play the difference.
12:45Come on.
12:46Come on.
12:55I can't imagine how clever you got to read to write a book.
12:57I don't think I could have done anything without your incredible requirements.
13:02I mean, your work process.
13:08Ah.
13:10No, no.
13:11Valerie had killed me.
13:12She's got me on the Scarsdale diet.
13:13I've only had two boiled eggs today.
13:15Well, then you must eat.
13:17Is it fruitcake?
13:18I made it.
13:18Kiss it.
13:19Personally, I find diets have the opposite effect.
13:21They just make me fatter.
13:23Oh, no.
13:25Ladies and gents, have your tickets ready.
13:27Looks like we're not going to get away a bit after all.
13:29No, you don't.
13:29Complete waste of money.
13:30Come on.
13:31We're nearly out of the stock.
13:34Look it.
13:37Bit of a tight squeeze.
13:39Maybe the shit has been on the Scarsdale diet.
13:43Perhaps I should have just paid.
13:45Absolutely not.
13:46I miss all the fun.
13:50Next stop, Conchester.
13:51We're shortly arriving at Conchester Station.
13:58Thank you for saving me £2.50.
14:00Thank you for saving me from falling asleep and waking up in Gorsa.
14:06My chapters.
14:08Oh, I love them.
14:09I'll go.
14:14We're all ready.
14:40Keep you busy, Charles.
14:41Good morning, Tony.
14:42Morning, girls.
14:50Excited to meet the Iron Lady?
14:53You should be.
14:54She's the only woman I've ever met
14:55who's a tougher bitch than you.
14:57I hope you're not still sulking.
14:59The country wants to see
14:59that you're locking whores with Declan,
15:01not that dipshit James Veraker.
15:03This is self-sabotage.
15:03Call Declan.
15:04He could be here in half an hour.
15:05Forget Declan.
15:06I've got somebody to cheer you up.
15:08Cuatro hombres agricolas
15:11has been nominated for an award.
15:13Four men went to mow.
15:14You're going to need to brush up
15:15on your Spanish
15:15if you're going to go to Mala
15:16your next month to collect it.
15:17In a word?
15:18We're big in Spain, apparently.
15:21Let's see if we go together.
15:24Stay in a hotel,
15:24walk the red carpet.
15:26Just the two of us.
15:31Now I'm forgiven.
15:34Call Declan.
15:35No.
15:51All right, everyone.
15:52True blue Tory smiles, please.
15:55Where's your photographer?
15:56Come on, come on.
15:56Watch out.
15:57Go there.
15:58Have a shot.
15:59Soon as she's left out of the car, yes?
16:00Nice big one for the office wall.
16:05Is that she's due, right?
16:06Yes, she's due.
16:07She's late.
16:07That's all right.
16:12She's kind, you lot.
16:13We're making this look at it.
16:15Come on, imagine it's God, Michael.
16:18Come on, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run.
16:32Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to the stage tonight's guest presenter, James Berenger.
16:39Stop it, you're too kind.
16:41I know what you're thinking.
16:42When did Declan become so handsome?
16:46What's the ingredients for bolognese?
16:48What am I tempt daddy out of his study?
16:50He's watching the interview.
16:54Mummy, you should have stopped him.
16:55Long time since I've had any influence.
16:58Don't cook for me.
16:59Not hungry.
17:12Yes?
17:13Malhart, darling.
17:14Did I disturb you?
17:15Oh, everything about you disturbs me, Mrs. O'Hara.
17:20I can't bear it any longer.
17:22I need to see you.
17:29What's wrong with your father?
17:31They're saying he's ill.
17:33Where is he?
17:34Declan?
17:36Declan?
17:45People are saying you're ill.
17:47You don't look ill, just paralytic.
17:50Fuck off, Rupert.
17:50The PM knew you'd never show her caring side, so she goes to the fight.
17:55She knows what she's doing.
17:55And now, thanks to James Berenger, we all know a Dennis Guffer's birthday.
17:59And that she swabs recipes with Nancy Reagan.
18:02Tony, you should have let me have a room for her.
18:03Dad, give us that.
18:04No, no, no.
18:05Stop it.
18:09Come on, up you again, big boy.
18:10Up, up, up, up.
18:12Sorry, Tig.
18:20I'll have one hell of a hangover in the morning.
18:22He has one every morning now.
18:26Mommy's given up, so it's all me.
18:29I don't know how men work.
18:31It's people.
18:33I don't understand them.
18:35And I help them.
18:38Could you...
18:38Yeah.
18:39I'll be here first thing.
18:40We'll bring him round tomorrow.
18:45Your sex has gone cold.
18:48I can heat it up.
18:49There's more if you want to stay.
18:53See you in the morning.
19:03Fertie's hands roamed over Letty's back and hips,
19:06gripping her tightly as he drove her to the edge of pleasure.
19:09Finally, with a cry of release, they both came together,
19:11their bodies convulsing with the force of their shared orgasm.
19:14Fertie!
19:15Good morning.
19:16Well, today and every day.
19:17This week we're going to be in the studio.
19:18Fred, Fred!
19:19And I'm going to be...
19:20Fred, Fred!
19:21Shit!
19:23What on earth is going on?
19:24The Queen Goddess is waiting.
19:27Were you looking at pornography?
19:28I swear my life I was not.
19:30It's you.
19:31You look sexy in that.
19:32Honestly, Frederick.
19:33Time and a place.
19:34And now we've missed our chance to go for the burn.
19:35I'm going to go for the burn.
20:05I'm kind of you.
20:07You look like Superman.
20:09Running after the train.
20:15I'm sorry.
20:16I, er...
20:18I wondered if you might agree to come to lunch with me.
20:20I mean, not now.
20:24Not in my dressing gown.
20:25Yeah.
20:27I was thinking maybe the black horse in Bisley.
20:29You know, it's very, er...
20:31Discreet.
20:32Exactly.
20:35I can't tell you how many times in the last few weeks I've hoped you'd ask me a question like
20:39this.
20:41Now you're here.
20:45I realise that I can't.
20:47I'm so sorry, Freddie.
20:51I'm married.
20:54Thank you, though.
20:56For asking.
20:58And for the manuscript.
21:00I hope you don't mind.
21:02I read your chapters.
21:04Oh.
21:07They were brilliant.
21:10And sexy.
21:13Like you.
21:29Mummy, where are you?
21:32Mummy!
21:36Coming.
21:46There she is.
21:47Taggy!
21:47Oh, look, okay, then.
21:48Have you been expelled?
21:49I've got an ex here.
21:51Mr. Mummy and Daddy forgetting about me.
21:53Not you, Tag.
21:54Called her hitchhiking from Crotter's station.
21:55I'm so sorry.
21:56Are you okay?
21:57Your father where I left him?
21:58Yeah.
21:59Taking him out.
22:02Declan!
22:02We're going to lunch.
22:03Then I want your opinion on a horse.
22:06Is Mummy still in bed, too?
22:07No.
22:08She left before I got up.
22:16Thank you for just here.
22:18Thank you for just here.
22:29It's not like you to be early.
22:32I've missed you.
22:36Oh, it's very tempting.
22:38But I actually have something else in mind.
22:48Henry Hampshire spotted him the other day.
22:51Alan doesn't realize how good his bloodline is.
22:53His grandchild is a marvel.
22:55Look how long the legs are.
22:56Is that what you look for?
22:58Well, this age one is still a bit gangly.
23:01Awkward.
23:01A bit of an ugly gelding, but you can see the swan he'll grow into.
23:05Sometimes you can just tell by the eyes.
23:10Well, to be said for a pair of kind, honest eyes.
23:15What's his name?
23:17Ventura.
23:20Yeah.
23:20So, Alan.
23:21Oh, take him off your hands, see what I can do with him.
23:23Should we say two and a half?
23:24Sorry, Mr. Campbell Black.
23:26I've just had an offer I can't afford to refuse.
23:28What the fuck?
23:29Freddy!
23:29Sorry, Rue.
23:30Didn't know it was you.
23:31Hampshire tipped me off.
23:32He was going on the low side.
23:34I don't like doing things on the cheap, so I've offered him five grand.
23:36What?
23:36I've always wanted a racehorse.
23:40Unless you fancy a syndicate.
23:47That Valerie was fuming.
23:49You know she thinks you're a very bad man.
23:52Is she a good judge of character?
23:53She's had practice.
23:54She's been judging my character since we were 15.
23:5615?
23:56Yeah, she's a good girl.
23:57She's stuck by me for a fit and thin.
23:59You know, I've never even had another girlfriend.
24:05His feet!
24:07Still, do you two lads make an odd couple?
24:10How did you become so friendly?
24:11Well, we met just after I moved down here, and then we got chatting after a few months,
24:15and it turns out we're allergic to the same thing.
24:19Bullshit.
24:20Paddingham!
24:21Let's not waste time on that bastard.
24:23Let's drink to the horse that brought us together today.
24:27Uh, Ventura.
24:29Ventura!
24:45I've got it from Littlewoods.
24:47I didn't know you were a contestant.
24:49Come on, everyone.
24:50Ready for the final rehearsal?
24:51First position.
24:52Cameron.
24:52Cameron.
24:53Reverend Penny's car hasn't arrived, and Ratshaw cabs can't get to him for at least an hour.
24:57What?
24:57Penny is our most important judge.
24:58We need him here now.
24:59I could get him.
25:01I had a car.
25:03Take mine.
25:04Hi.
25:05Hello.
25:05Hi, everyone.
25:06Hello.
25:07Hello, ladies.
25:08Looking forward to getting to know you all.
25:10Can I show you my special talent?
25:11Uh, quite.
25:12I loved your interview with Mrs. Thatcher.
25:14So caring.
25:15Thank you so much, Miss, um, Bisley.
25:22Introductions.
25:22Introduce the judges.
25:23Wesley.
25:24Emerson.
25:24Wesley.
25:25Emerson.
25:25Reverend.
25:26Penny.
25:26Penny, penny, penny.
25:27Penny for your thoughts.
25:28Spend a penny.
25:30Penny, penny, penny, penny.
25:31Good Lord, Sarah.
25:32Bloody hell.
25:32I'm so thrilled to be one of the final six contestants.
25:35Do you think there's a chance I might take home the crown tonight?
25:39Oh, my God.
25:40Um, well, Miss Cotchester, that depends on your special talent, doesn't it?
25:52Oh, yes, Sarah.
25:54Oh, oh, oh, naughty, Sarah.
25:55Yes, oh, Sarah.
25:56Oh, Sarah.
25:57Don't leave me this way.
26:01Don't understand.
26:03I'm at your command.
26:05Oh, baby, please.
26:07Oh, don't leave me this way.
26:10Oh, oh, baby.
26:14What can I do?
26:15I can't leave.
26:15Leave him.
26:16He's not worth it.
26:17If I didn't have a truly gargantuan mortgage, I...
26:21Fuck that mortgage.
26:22I will tell him where to stick his beauty contest.
26:25Jesus, what time is it?
26:27It's just come five.
26:28I'm supposed to be judging Miss Carinium.
26:39That field, uh, just, just up ahead there.
26:42Uh, pull in there, Charles.
26:44I promised my producer I'd be as quick as possible.
26:46Just here, just here.
26:48It has a beautiful view you should see.
26:51Great.
26:52Let's go straight away again from the top, please, girls.
26:54Q playback.
26:55And five, six, seven, eight.
26:57And five, six, seven, eight.
26:58Smiling.
27:01What's going on here?
27:04Sir, it's very lovely, but we're already late.
27:07I should go.
27:08What did you say her name was, dear?
27:10Daisy, sir.
27:11Daisy.
27:12Great.
27:13It's come down to the pile.
27:15It's a lovely little bit of a smile.
27:18Oh, dear.
27:20Beautiful, yes.
27:21Lovely, lovely.
27:22Yes.
27:23Yes.
27:23Harry Hawkins thought that spring was rejoicing in life's juices.
27:28What do you think, Daisy?
27:30Well, I think that...
27:32No!
27:33Yes.
27:37Come and get it all out of me.
27:38It's like you're going to treat it all out of me.
27:40Please, stop!
27:42Ah!
27:43Ah!
27:44Come and get it all out of me.
27:47Ah!
27:49Ah!
27:49Ah!
27:49Ah!
27:49Ah!
27:50Ah!
27:51Ah!
27:53Ah!
28:01Hold it there.
28:04Whose idea was the big number?
28:07Daisy's.
28:08It's not bad.
28:09Well done, Daisy.
28:13Come on, girl.
28:14We're late.
28:25I mean, that golden duck at the Oval.
28:28Ah, I look at that in history.
28:29Oh, you're too kind.
28:31I-I're trying to make me the same color as James Berger.
28:33Welcome to the Cotswolds.
28:34Sandra, a little bit of that translucent powder is probably best.
28:37Cameron Cook.
28:39I control her programs.
28:40I started from the Yanks.
28:41Most talented woman I've ever met.
28:42I don't want to alter it.
28:42Make sure Wesley gets star treatment.
28:44He is one of my all-time cricketing heroes.
28:46This way, you're an ace.
28:48Ah, Reverend.
28:48So glad you made it.
28:50Trust my staff will take good care of you.
28:51Oh, indeed they have, Tony.
28:52And, uh, from what I've seen so far, the franchise is safe.
28:55Oh, so pleased to have your support.
28:57So I guess now I've got to get a show on the road.
28:58Drink something afterwards, yes?
28:59Oh, good.
29:03What the nerve happened is?
29:08Okay, come on.
29:09Come on.
29:13There you go.
29:17Who did this to you?
29:19You have to tell me who it was.
29:22Silence only protects the monster who did this.
29:24I promise you.
29:25I will make them pay.
29:31If you don't report him, dear,
29:33what about all the other innocent girls
29:35he might prey on next?
29:40I offered to drive to help with your bid.
29:44Please don't be cross with me.
29:46You've done nothing wrong.
29:47No one's going to be angry with you.
29:58It was the Reverend Penny.
30:11You said you didn't lead him on.
30:16You're such a friendly girl.
30:21No, I...
30:24I was really professional.
30:40You know Reverend Penny's very important to us, don't you?
30:46I know you're a team player.
30:49Valued member of the Carinian family.
30:54So...
30:55Let's forget this whole thing ever happened, anything?
31:02That's a good girl.
31:04You're going to go far here.
31:06I'm sure Miss Madden will help.
31:09Tell yourself that.
31:11Good girl.
31:14Sorry, it's a wardrobe ad.
31:18All this talk of equal rights.
31:21Nothing really changes.
31:23One rule for them, one for us.
31:27Did I spoil everything for the bid?
31:30Not at all.
31:31He'll get off scot-free.
31:33He won't think he's done a thing wrong.
31:39This terrible thing which has happened to you
31:41is your secret.
31:44It's also your weapon.
31:46Use it to get what you want from them.
31:49Do you hear me?
31:50Don't be sad.
31:51Be angry.
31:53You'll serve you better, dear.
32:02You can lead a horse to water, Seb.
32:04Declan.
32:04No, no, no, no.
32:07Daisy, nice dress.
32:12Daisy.
32:13Daisy, what's wrong?
32:14What's happening, Charles?
32:16Daisy.
32:17Daisy, wait.
32:18Daisy!
32:21From the Welsh borders
32:22to the dreaming spires of Oxford.
32:24From Southampton to Shepard-upon-Avon.
32:26Live from Rochester,
32:27this is Miss Carineo.
32:29And here are your hosts,
32:31James Berger and Sarah Stratton.
32:34All right, here we go.
32:36Showtime.
32:37Caitlin, it's starting.
32:39Good evening.
32:39Good evening.
32:41Good popcorn.
32:44The girls waiting backstage this evening
32:46are gems, are they not?
32:47They certainly are, James.
32:48Two minutes left of intro.
32:50Especially being a bit of a sparkler myself.
32:53Stand by, audience.
32:54Got toys on three.
32:55You're an absolute.
32:55Bobby Dazzler.
32:56Your husband is a very lucky man.
32:58Sarah's looking sensational, I think.
33:01All mine, of course.
33:02Only because she's already been everyone else's.
33:05But she will also win a screen test
33:07to become our new tea-time weather girl.
33:09Stand by, judge.
33:10Got toys on two.
33:10But before we meet our contestants,
33:12let's meet our judging panel.
33:13First up, it's demon bowler
33:14and local cricketing hero,
33:16Wesley Emerson.
33:20And then, of course,
33:21there's Carineo's very own Declan O'Hara.
33:26Back in the saddle today
33:28after his brief indisposition earlier in the week.
33:30And here to ensure we're all behaving ourselves,
33:32ex-prevendry from the Church of England,
33:34Reverend Fergus Penny.
33:39Please give a big round of applause
33:41for our judging panel.
33:48Miss Chipping Sodbury is 21 years old.
33:50She's training to be a driving instructor.
33:52She looks so pretty.
33:53Enjoys breeding miniature poodles.
33:55Oh, dear creature,
33:56Miss Chipping Sodbury's care.
33:57Last Friday, we danced against Rugbrak
33:59and one of our boys took some fifth formers
34:00up in the garage roof
34:01and they were smoking and drinking
34:02and telling the teachers to fuck off.
34:04Miss Netherwiland.
34:04Oh, and the gym mistress
34:06have found three condoms
34:07in the rhododendrons.
34:08That's nice.
34:12But, Ruth, it's nicer.
34:13Hey.
34:14Shut up.
34:16Three, three, hold the two shot.
34:18Four, take the close-ups.
34:20It's coming really well.
34:21Miss Choppice,
34:22spinning her way into our hearts.
34:36Isn't she good?
34:37I have not.
34:38Come and get your body, baby.
34:39Do that bonk.
34:40I know you're getting your dreams
34:40a penny long.
34:41Cause we'll get rid of my
34:42so we can get you stronger.
34:43Don't get your body,
34:44do you try to do that bonk.
34:45Do that bonk.
34:51Miss Wooden, Under Edge,
34:52is a fabulous five foot seven inches tall
34:54and it's a full 33, 25, 36.
35:04Now, judges,
35:06Miss Wooden stands at an elegant five foot four.
35:08Her measurements are 36, 24, 36.
35:10Some might describe her as perfection itself.
35:21Reverend Penny,
35:22are you looking for perfection tonight?
35:24Oh, well, perfection is not my concern.
35:27The qualities that I'm looking for
35:28in the inaugural Miss Carinium
35:30consists of a healthy body
35:33and sound morals.
35:35You filthy, hypocritical old kiss.
35:42What the fuck is he doing?
35:43Cut the feed.
35:44Cut the feed.
35:47Jesus H. Christ,
35:48I only left the house for a minute.
35:49What just happened?
35:50Oh my God, Mommy.
35:57We'll get what's coming to you.
36:02Deirdre, answer the phone.
36:04He's ruined everything.
36:05Answer the phone.
36:07What are you doing?
36:25You let that religious fraud
36:27get away with raping one of your employees.
36:30And then you parade
36:31all those young girls in front of him
36:33like a fucking menu.
36:37I am out of this cesspit
36:39for good.
36:41You flouted my authority
36:42at every opportunity,
36:43but I'm not sure
36:44we can let you go just yet.
36:47Don't touch me!
36:49How does it feel, Tony?
36:50Huh?
36:51How does it feel
36:52to be weak
36:54and helpless?
36:55I'll have you locked up for GBH.
36:56I'll be freer inside
36:57than ever will be working for you.
37:02Fuck you.
37:03I quit.
37:06Oh, it's a melody, Matting.
37:07You missed your calling.
37:09Well, enjoy the morning papers.
37:11You should probably let Mort know
37:12she's going to be a star again.
37:13Come on.
37:31Bloody hell.
37:33I'd hate to see what he does
37:34with the driver.
37:42Are you okay?
37:46Can I give you a lift somewhere?
37:49You should call the police, Daisy.
37:52Report that sick bastard.
37:57She told you.
38:02And that's why you hid him.
38:05I didn't need your help, Douglas.
38:09I'm sorry, Daisy. I just...
38:16Daisy.
38:18Why couldn't you have kept your mouth shut?
38:29Just quit my job.
38:31Be in the car, lads.
38:32Let's get rat-assed.
38:37As I say, Declan O'Hara will be strongly dealt with in the coming days.
38:41Very publicly, too.
38:42Good.
38:43Whilst I don't hold with vengeance, there's no place for violence and vulgarity on our streets.
38:48No. No. You'll have my word, Fergus.
38:52Deirdre!
38:53Deirdre! Deirdre!
38:53Deirdre!
38:54Please make sure the Reverend Penny gets home safely.
38:56Yes, Lord Buddingham.
38:58Order a minicamp, Deirdre.
39:09I'll get the glaziers in.
39:12Have this delivered to B.G. Johnson at the Scorpion from an anonymous source.
39:19There's Madden!
39:21Joyce!
39:24Has anyone been in my office?
39:25Not to my knowledge.
39:28Fuck!
39:37Is he dead?
39:38He will be when Mummy's done with him.
39:54Oh, fuck!
39:59Oh, fuck!
40:01Oh, fuck!
40:10I don't want to be that woman who's waiting for her husband to come home.
40:16It's not me.
40:21I need to go back to work.
40:23Well, that's good, because I resigned last night.
40:26It'll be easier for you if we go back to London.
40:34I saw Mallory.
40:36I asked him if I could audition for his new show.
40:41I mean, there's nothing in it for me. I'm too old.
40:45I'm sorry, look.
40:48You should have told me.
40:51What happened to us?
40:56We fix it?
41:08Who the fuck is that?
41:18Is Tony trying to hound me into the grave?
41:20He doesn't know I'm here.
41:22I shouldn't have told you about Daisy.
41:24Oh.
41:25They'd probably have hit the old pervert anyway.
41:33Sometimes Lord Baddingham needs a bit of help to stay the right course.
41:46Gertrude!
41:48Gertrude!
41:49Oh, come back!
41:50Gertrude!
41:57Are you all right?
41:59Can I walk with you?
42:00No, you can't.
42:01I asked for your help, and you got him drunk and let him implode on live television.
42:04He's a grown man, Taggy.
42:05But we are in so much debt.
42:06We can't afford the mortgage without Daddy working.
42:08Mummy's already packing.
42:09What are you talking about?
42:12This is the only place I have ever loved.
42:14And now we have to leave.
42:16Is Declan all right?
42:18Go find another job.
42:20Not here.
42:22Gertrude, come on.
42:23Gertrude!
42:24Gertrude!
42:25Gertrude!
42:25Gertrude!
42:26Gertrude!
42:26Gertrude!
42:27You know, I could have told you, you and Declan were never going to work out.
42:30Neither of you could bear not being big dog.
42:32So am I big dog now?
42:34You're the last dog standing.
42:36So what do we do now?
42:38We have to put something out there.
42:41Oh, no, I'm a pulitzer.
42:42Oh, God, no.
42:43He's the one who threw out the punches.
42:45It's not your fault he can't handle provocation.
42:50And of course, he's also the one with the drinking problem.
42:57Very good.
43:01Declan O'Hara tendered his resignation last night, and we regretfully accepted.
43:05We have every concern for the well-being of all our staff, but Carinium Television cannot tolerate violence, particularly towards
43:12a vulnerable and senior guest in our building.
43:16We send Declan our best wishes and support as he seeks help for his alcoholism.
43:20Turn it off.
43:21And mental disturbance.
43:25Where is he?
43:37Alex O'Grim, Frederico and I have a brilliant new plan.
43:40No offence, but I'll give it a miss.
43:42One afternoon with you lads nearly finished me off.
43:43We're going back to London.
43:45Sorry, Mould.
43:45We can't let you.
43:46It's business.
43:47Can't let a hot property go to waste.
43:48We're starting a production company, and you're going to run it.
43:51Partnership.
43:52We're going to work together.
43:53It'll be fun.
43:54We trust you on the creative stuff.
43:57Sorry lads, but I can't.
43:58Why not?
43:59You'll be your own master.
44:00Now you want it.
44:03Because I think we should pitch for the franchise.
44:07But that'd mean the mother of all takeovers.
44:11Drive Tony Battingham out of town once and for all.
44:14I think we've got it in us.
44:16Don't you?
44:23Don't you?
44:26Don't you?
44:43Don't you?
44:46I think we'll give you a big deal.
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