Skip to playerSkip to main content
  • 7 hours ago
Just A Dash - Season 3 - Episode 08: Soft Boiled
Transcript
00:05Today on Just The Dash, we are going to be making a pork neck, Szechuan, super hot, creamy, fatty, absolutely
00:14delicious ramen.
00:15One of the best ramens I've ever had in my life.
00:18It took me back to a place that I've never been before.
00:22Kikanabo had a pop-up at Slurp and it changed my life.
00:25And I contacted them and I said, can you tell me just how you kind of make it a little
00:29bit?
00:29And then he said, no, Matty!
00:31No.
00:32I'm trying to make something from memory.
00:36Who doesn't love sweating and slurping and numbing out over a bowl of soup?
00:42Spice, huh?
00:43Do you love spice?
00:44No, keep one of mine, low spice.
00:46Low spice.
00:47Well, we start with a lot of spice, so...
00:50And I got stomach issues.
00:52Do you?
00:53Well, that's helpful.
00:54Thank you so much.
00:56Okay.
01:01We are going to be making one of the greatest, most flavorful ramens I've ever had in my life.
01:07I hope you're going to be doing a lot of the work.
01:09I am, because you don't have any arms, Sheldon!
01:12Yeah, I don't even have much of a brain.
01:14We're even Steven on that one.
01:17Um, first thing we're going to do, though, is we're going to make the pork neck stock.
01:22Oh, boy!
01:23This is one of the most, I believe, flavorful pieces of the pig.
01:28I have just some beautiful chicken stock here.
01:31Oh, I know the chickens.
01:33Mom juice.
01:34This is like your milk, right?
01:36Yep.
01:36Yep, that's mom's juice.
01:38I do want to add some really nice soy sauce to this, though.
01:42We're going to add about a half a cup right now.
01:44One stalk of celery.
01:46Just a little.
01:47Just a...
01:48Do you like singing?
01:49If you want me to sing, you don't have to beg.
01:53I'm that kind of showbiz egg.
01:57I like that.
01:59Sheldon, we're going to get along swimmingly.
02:01I think our revolution is going to be very powerful, Matty.
02:04I mean, you're just so good at cooking, and I'm so good at changing the world.
02:11It's always amazing when you meet somebody that kind of thinks the same way as you, you know?
02:16I sure am honored to be here with Matty Matheson.
02:20Well, you don't have to say the full name every time, but, you know...
02:22Oh, okay.
02:23It's kind of my thing, I do.
02:25Yes, Matty and I have a lot in common.
02:27China's just over there.
02:30Australia, over there.
02:31I like eating eggs, you don't because you're an egg, but guess where we landed?
02:36On the truth.
02:39Matty is a terrific guy.
02:41You're a lot more helpful than Michelle, and you literally don't even physically do anything.
02:47On the surface.
02:50What makes you say that?
02:52The way he looks at me.
02:55It's not like, hi, you're my sidekick.
02:58It's kind of like, hi, I'm kind of hungry.
03:02I think there's two sides of you, Matty Matheson.
03:06You're just an egg killer.
03:08I got a boiler on me, and I eat boilers to get rid of my boiler.
03:12That's the feeling I'm getting.
03:16We're gonna skim the scum.
03:20And where does the scum go?
03:21We're gonna pour it down the toilet.
03:24Let it get into politics.
03:26Yeah.
03:28You wanna get, what?
03:30The scum.
03:30I'm trying to find a place to put the scum.
03:33Okay, Sheldon, let's just, you know, let's just relax, and we're gonna, we're just skimming
03:37the scum right now, okay?
03:38Getting rid of all those impurities.
03:41Rid of the impurities.
03:43Scum floats to the top.
03:44But Matty, he scrapes it off.
03:49Guess who's at the top?
03:52Trudeau.
03:54I can't get something.
03:59Okay.
04:00Long enough have we been treated like little things that you can crack over anything.
04:07Long enough have we'd appeared in your soups and your omelets and your scum.
04:12Sheldon.
04:13What?
04:13Just relax.
04:15We're making a cooking video.
04:17I'm happy about that.
04:18It's yummy.
04:21Okay.
04:22It's really yummy.
04:23It's just, wow.
04:25I don't know if he thought the joke was, I don't think he thought it was a joke.
04:29Life gets a little bit heavy sometimes, doesn't it, Sheldon?
04:31Yeah, you're amazing, Matty.
04:32I don't know if I'm just doing it to save my life.
04:35At any moment, life can happen, good or bad.
04:41But it looks like he has the same kind of dreams I do.
04:44You're amazing.
04:46Well, thank you.
04:47I didn't kidnap him.
04:49He came along.
04:51He came along.
04:52He got in the RV.
04:53We've skimmed enough scum over here, and we've gotten rid of all of those bad ideas.
05:00And now, we've cleared them out for the pure ideas.
05:04And it just kind of keeps coming up.
05:06And now we'll present the purity.
05:09I'm scared.
05:10Are we starting a cult, Matty?
05:16No, we aren't.
05:18We're making a cooking show, Sheldon.
05:19We can't let everyone know what we really think.
05:22Okay, fine.
05:24We keep our big ideas to ourselves, okay?
05:26Okay.
05:28We have beautiful leek, and we're going to just add that into our stock.
05:33Some beautiful carrots.
05:35Skin on, no problem.
05:36I was kind of egging on old Sheldon, seeing, you know, if I could break them.
05:41Celery and some green onions.
05:44You know what, Matty?
05:45Some ginger, yes.
05:47If we start this cult, we get the most sex.
05:51Sheldon, we're making a cooking video.
05:54I'm ecstatic about the dish.
05:56I don't know.
06:00Maybe the egg was a Hollywood plant.
06:04Maybe he was testing me.
06:09So, how's the necks coming along?
06:15This show is about patience.
06:18It's about relax.
06:21Oh, yeah.
06:23I like letting things happen, and cooking takes time.
06:30Sheldon!
06:37Sheldon!
06:39I have you.
06:41There you go.
06:42Hi.
06:43Hi.
06:45Hi.
06:46Oh.
06:47I'm never going to turn my back on you again.
06:50Sheldon, are you okay?
06:53Are you?
06:53What?
06:55What?
06:56Who are you again?
06:58I'm Matty.
07:00I don't know who I am anymore.
07:02Me and you.
07:03We're best friends.
07:03We're making ramen.
07:05Ramen, okay.
07:06Are you the chef?
07:08I'm a chef, yeah.
07:11Every ramen's special.
07:13The first thing we're going to do, we...
07:15That's my show.
07:17We just have to start by making the marinade.
07:19Wow.
07:20And we're going to just add some soy sauce.
07:22And make sure you get some, like, good soy sauce, okay?
07:25Get the good stuff.
07:26Sake.
07:26Do you guys like sake?
07:27Sure.
07:28A little something to take the edge off.
07:29Yeah, that's nice.
07:31Really nice mirin.
07:32Going to counterbalance the soy, and then add water.
07:36Poor souls.
07:37Wow.
07:38Put it in the fridge.
07:39I'd like to meet those guys.
07:41I'm sure you would.
07:42For 24 hours.
07:44Easy.
07:44I'm going to make a really nice, spicy, hot oil.
07:48Are you from Kensington Market?
07:50I used to work in Kensington Market.
07:52And you punched scarred windows.
07:54Sheldon.
07:55What?
07:56That was a story I told you in privacy.
07:58Oh.
07:59Okay.
08:00Seems like you've got some things to confront, my friend.
08:02I'm confronting.
08:03We're confronting.
08:04We're very...
08:05I'm quickly confronting.
08:06Yeah.
08:06We have some beautiful Szechuan peppercorns, okay?
08:08How about that?
08:09Szechuan peppercorns.
08:10Half of the togarashi and put it in.
08:12Distract with the sadism of spice.
08:15Absolutely.
08:15We're going to take half our white pepper, cayenne.
08:18And then we're going to take our hot chicken fat.
08:22I love new friendships.
08:24Oh.
08:25Yeah, I've never really met anyone else except that little soft bastard on the end of the kitchen block.
08:30Why are you hating on him?
08:32What's the matter?
08:32That's not nice.
08:34I guess I'm just a little jealous.
08:36He's got a really good body.
08:38Hey, everyone looks perfect.
08:40There is not one body type in this world.
08:43You look beautiful.
08:45You look beautiful.
08:47I feel like you have a little more intelligence than that guy, so...
08:50I guess it all evens out at the end of the day.
08:52Wait, what?
08:52What?
08:59All those people, come on.
09:03Come and try Maddie's ramen.
09:10That's my shell.
09:12I have a cousin named Michelle.
09:14You do?
09:15I'm going to cook this again.
09:17She's a real bitch.
09:18Oh.
09:19She's cooking up a storm.
09:22We're going to cook this again.
09:23And what I'm going to do is you can go buy these dashi packs.
09:27They have a bunch of bonito in them.
09:29A lot of umami.
09:30A lot of umame.
09:32A lot of umami.
09:32What's a new mama?
09:34It's like a really deep flavor.
09:37Yum.
09:37You really know what you're doing there, pal.
09:39A little bit.
09:40Like, I'm just trying to make something...
09:42Like, I'm trying to make something from memory.
09:43You know?
09:45Memories are powerful, aren't they?
09:46They are.
09:47Yeah.
09:47My best memories are here.
09:49Making just a dash.
09:51Aw.
09:51With my friends.
09:52Aw.
09:53With all of my really close friends.
09:55Like us?
09:56Andy, smile.
09:58When I say friends and look at you.
10:01Thank you very much, Andy.
10:03Do you need visine?
10:04Your eyes look a little...
10:05Uh.
10:07Yeah, I kind of feel a little skinless.
10:09Yeah.
10:11Empty.
10:12Lost.
10:13I don't know who I am anymore.
10:16No, he's just been smoking pot.
10:18I never...
10:18Can we go to lunch?
10:19Now's a perfect time to go to lunch.
10:21Yeah!
10:21Give me some.
10:23Did you guys eat?
10:23It was the first time for everything.
10:25Okay.
10:25What did we get?
10:26Slovakia?
10:27Oh yeah, Slovakia.
10:28Did you know Ricky doesn't even know what chicken Slovakia is?
10:30What a...
10:31What a...
10:31Ding-dong!
10:32Exactly.
10:32Yeah.
10:33That's what I was thinking.
10:34Who doesn't know what a Slovakia is?
10:36But it's...
10:36How do you say it?
10:37You don't know what it is.
10:37You've never heard it.
10:38Do you call it...
10:39You've never seen it.
10:40Do you call it Slovakia?
10:42Yeah.
10:42Su...
10:43Slovakia.
10:45That's worse than not knowing.
10:47You call it Slovakia?
10:48Slovakia.
10:49It's a skewer.
10:52Yeah.
10:52It's a whole nation of flavor.
10:55Bit of a hostile work environment if you ask me.
10:57Well, let's just keep it down.
10:59What's next, Rick?
11:01Haven't heard of fucking...
11:04What?
11:04Chicken wings?
11:05I want chunkies.
11:07And we want big chunks.
11:09So we're just gonna use our hands
11:10and kind of rip off
11:12big, beautiful chunks
11:14of molten chunkies.
11:17Succulent chunks
11:18of amazing chunkies.
11:20And we want...
11:21Daddy!
11:22I'm kind of bothered
11:23I can't remember anything.
11:25Do you have anything
11:25to help me remember?
11:27What do you mean?
11:27Like, how do we remember?
11:29Well, it's my ball cap.
11:30Are you missing your ball cap?
11:33It must have fallen off
11:34when I tried to save you.
11:36Oh!
11:38Here it is.
11:41It's coming back to me!
11:43Me too!
11:44It's coming back!
11:47Hey, Tort.
11:48Hey.
11:48Just before we do this interview,
11:50I want to kind of drop, like,
11:51the cult part.
11:52I know we've gone
11:53into it a little bit.
11:55Uh-oh.
11:58Wait a minute.
12:01We were talking about cults.
12:03Well, no.
12:05We were talking about ramen.
12:06We were talking about the truth.
12:09Well, the truth
12:10is always up to the
12:11perception of reality.
12:14We had a plan, Matty.
12:15Well, we...
12:16We were talking about
12:17devious sexual acts
12:19involving eggs.
12:20Yeah!
12:21No, we...
12:21There was a little bit,
12:23but that was
12:24kind of more you, Sheldon.
12:26I was just talking about
12:27my ramen I loved.
12:29You fucking did this to me!
12:31Yeah!
12:31It's a bit intense.
12:33What do you guys
12:34want to do, then?
12:35Talk me through it.
12:36We'll have
12:36deviled egg worship.
12:39Yeah.
12:40Yes, we'll worship
12:41the deviled
12:41and a total moratorium
12:44on eating eggs.
12:46Mm-hmm.
12:47And expose the truth
12:49that everybody needs to know.
12:50Yeah.
12:51It's flat.
12:52Okay.
12:53But you're not
12:53going to hurt anybody,
12:54are you?
12:55No.
12:56No, no.
12:57No.
12:57Just have sex with them.
12:59Yeah.
13:00Monogamy out the window.
13:01That's all we have so far.
13:03That's all you need!
13:04Maybe you can just
13:05be nice and have sex
13:06with a lot of people.
13:07You don't have to start a cult.
13:09But how will we get them
13:10to stop eating eggs
13:11without the power?
13:13Well, that's a different show.
13:14Oh, okay.
13:15Okay.
13:16Can I make a little marinade
13:17to put on my pork neck?
13:18Oh, yeah.
13:19No, by all means.
13:20Don't let us stop you.
13:21So we're going to take
13:22some togarashi pepper.
13:24Then we're going to add
13:25just a little bit of soy sauce.
13:27Mm-hmm.
13:28We're going to add
13:29some mirin.
13:30Balance it out.
13:31A little sweetness.
13:31We're going to do
13:32a splash of rice wine vinegar.
13:34That was two splashes,
13:35but okay.
13:36We'll do two splashes.
13:38A little bit of oil.
13:38I don't know if you guys
13:39know this.
13:40I'm pretty popular.
13:42Ooh.
13:43Also, people listen
13:45to famous people.
13:47Ooh.
13:49A lot of people
13:49are going to see this video
13:50and then be a part
13:52of your friend circle.
13:54Okay.
13:55Okay.
13:55Okay.
13:57A lot of sex is tiring,
13:58isn't it?
13:59I just got to lay there.
14:01Ah, fuck.
14:01Oh.
14:02Jeez.
14:03And it's all going to happen
14:04on your farm.
14:06I know that Trisha
14:07was upset about us
14:08even trying to shoot
14:09a cooking show there,
14:11but I'm thinking
14:13if I pitch her
14:15a celestial egg fucking...
14:19We're getting a ramen.
14:22You guys can go to the farm,
14:23get kind of comfy,
14:24hanging out,
14:25maybe just at some coffee shops,
14:26old bookstores,
14:28just being like,
14:28you know,
14:29people walk by
14:29and you're like,
14:30okay,
14:31hey,
14:32what are you guys doing?
14:34You need some meaning
14:35in your life?
14:36You seem
14:36a little lost.
14:38Let us
14:38come and feed you.
14:41Let us
14:42come
14:43inside of you.
14:46Who do you think's
14:47going to go to prison?
14:48A couple puppets
14:49we can't see you.
14:52We can't go to prison
14:53for his
14:54sex ed cult.
14:56Woo!
14:56Let's go to prison!
14:58We're on to something,
14:59then.
15:00Yeah!
15:00And now,
15:01I'm going to take
15:03our Szechuan
15:04Togarashi chili oil.
15:07I'm going to put
15:08two big scoops
15:09of that in there first.
15:11Maddie,
15:11where does baby corn
15:12come from?
15:13This is baby.
15:14Mommy corn
15:15and a daddy corn
15:16love each other
15:17very much.
15:18Well,
15:19no,
15:19this is a plant.
15:20This is a vegetable,
15:21guys.
15:21This is different
15:22than you.
15:24Yeah.
15:26And also,
15:27chickens just have
15:28eggs without...
15:29They don't have to
15:30have sex to have
15:31an egg,
15:31right?
15:32It's true.
15:32We have nothing
15:33to do with the
15:33process.
15:34Yeah.
15:35I think that's why
15:36you guys are so
15:37caught up with
15:37all this sex stuff.
15:39Yeah.
15:41Yeah.
15:42Mm-hmm.
15:43Are you guys
15:43attracted to chickens?
15:44If it's a chicken,
15:45that you didn't
15:46come out of,
15:47then it's not
15:49technically,
15:50you know,
15:51wrong.
15:51I mean,
15:52it's a gray area.
15:53I'm so excited
15:54for everyone,
15:54and actually,
15:55I think I want
15:56to join the egg cult.
15:58What?
16:00I love sex
16:01and chickens.
16:03Oh, yeah!
16:04And flat things?
16:07We have some
16:08beautiful,
16:08fresh ramen noodles.
16:10What are
16:10the ramen noodles?
16:12Ramen noodles?
16:13They're these
16:14beautiful...
16:15Okay.
16:16What's the one thing
16:17that makes them
16:17ramen noodles
16:18that give them
16:19the bounce?
16:20Well,
16:21the baking soda
16:21turns into
16:22sodium carbonate,
16:23and it creates
16:24an alkaline.
16:26Do I have
16:26two bowls?
16:27Yeah.
16:28Down below you,
16:28there's a bunch
16:29of ceramic bowls
16:30you can use.
16:30Like these?
16:31Yeah.
16:32Eye water.
16:34Huh?
16:34Lye water.
16:36Lye.
16:36Lye.
16:37Do you have any,
16:37like, ramen bowls
16:38we planned for?
16:39I'm not on props.
16:41Okay?
16:42I'm a food person.
16:43Okay.
16:44And you know,
16:44this year we had,
16:45we had budget for,
16:46for a production center.
16:48A ramen bowl?
16:48It all went to the eggs.
16:50Yeah, it went to the eggs,
16:51didn't it, guys?
16:52It all went to the eggs.
16:56I'm talking right now
16:57through a glass aquarium
16:59with toilet water
17:01because we spent
17:02so much money
17:03on the puppets.
17:04You know what we have
17:05for lunch every day?
17:07S-L-E-U-V-A-K-Slovakie.
17:12E.
17:13I'm almost done,
17:14and everyone's gonna be able
17:15to get on with their day.
17:17We're gonna be able
17:17to promote the egg.
17:19What is it called again?
17:20Lye.
17:21The new Faberge.
17:23The new Faberge.
17:24Enough with your lies.
17:26I don't have,
17:27there's no,
17:27exactly.
17:28We use truth water
17:30with pure eggs.
17:32With beautiful soy eggs.
17:34Oh, yeah.
17:36Just waiting for this water
17:37to boil, everyone.
17:38Delicious.
17:41Food memory
17:42is one of those things.
17:44This is spicy.
17:49Can you put the bowl
17:50a little more in the middle?
17:51Just a little more in the middle.
17:52Perfect, thank you.
17:53Okay, now we're making
17:53fucking Terrence Malick films.
17:56Everyone's got 16 lenses,
17:57but I ain't got a ramen bowl.
17:59Clearly the mask
18:00has fallen off.
18:02I'm disappointed to see
18:03he's a tyrant amongst his staff.
18:04What?
18:04We rethink his involvement
18:05in the cult a little bit.
18:07Yeah, but we need a tyrant.
18:08Yeah, we need the land.
18:10We're not a tyrant, guys.
18:11We need the land.
18:11There's just a couple things
18:12that happen continuously
18:13on this show,
18:14continuously.
18:16Holy shit.
18:17We like fun-loving Maddie.
18:19I am fun-loving Maddie.
18:20Hey, how you doing?
18:22Yeah.
18:22I remember the cult now.
18:24This isn't the Maddie
18:25I knew and loved.
18:27What happened?
18:29Then you just take,
18:30this is,
18:30I'm trying to have
18:31my food memories, guys.
18:32Okay.
18:33Trying to have my food memories,
18:33and you take a big pile
18:35of the coriander.
18:36Big pile.
18:37Look at that.
18:38Look at that.
18:39Wow.
18:39That's an awful lot.
18:41You garnish with a little,
18:42a couple beautiful,
18:43little corns.
18:44I'm trying to have
18:45a nice day with me.
18:47This is nice for me.
18:48This is nice for me
18:49and my friendship.
18:50Hey.
18:50I don't know,
18:51do puppets like act like you mean?
18:52We kind of lost our appetite.
18:53I don't know about all this.
18:55Getting tense around here.
18:56Well, no, it's not.
18:57It's fine.
18:58It's nice.
18:59This is actually normal, guys.
19:00This is normal.
19:01Oh.
19:01This is how every episode ends.
19:03What do you mean?
19:04End begins.
19:05It's in the noodle pool.
19:08Oh, yeah.
19:10I'm trying to be happy.
19:12I'm just walking through
19:12a land minefield all day.
19:15Is he talking about us
19:17or no?
19:20It's so spicy.
19:21The egg.
19:22The egg.
19:23What about it?
19:23What about it?
19:24Yeah.
19:25I can't watch.
19:29That beautiful.
19:36Oh, my God.
19:41Mama.
19:52Oh, oh.
19:54Mmm.
19:54Can't hurt my lips.
19:58Nothing like a session.
20:00This is so spicy.
20:01You okay?
20:02And that's just a dash.
20:08This is the kind of medical that we'll provide at the cult.
20:13You think we'll have medical?
20:15For sure.
20:16Will we have medical?
20:18Oh, yeah.
20:19For sure.
20:20All those STDs.
20:22No, STDs.
20:24Eggs don't have STDs.
20:25No need for doctors, then.
20:34I want to be a cult leader.
20:39I'm going to make you a believer.
20:43Follow me.
20:45Follow me.
20:47Give me your money and all of your power.
20:52I'll be the priestess up in the tower.
20:57Follow me.
21:01God bless you.
21:02God bless you.
21:02Amen.
21:03Amen.
21:05Amen.
Comments

Recommended