- 9 hours ago
Welcome to Plathville Season 8 Episode 9
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00:00We've never been like a family that talks about everything the big reason for that was like when Joshua died
00:06It was such a tragic experience that like talking about it
00:10Around mom specifically just was too heavy
00:15It's the first time I'm hanging out with Ethan post breakup. I don't like you behind me
00:20Tegan is definitely blowing them off. I don't understand that
00:25So how was the day get everything's good Zach and I have had time now to spend together more and
00:31more
00:31And so if I need to talk with a guy Zach is a guy I can go to
00:37I'm on a road trip right now
00:39Ethan just moved to Wisconsin and Christmas Day
00:43Ethan calls and he spent the day in his car at a park waiting and hoping
00:50For Tegan to show up. It worries me to me kind of feels like a red flag
01:04Not that one not that one
01:11That's so cute
01:13Finally after two days 16 hours of driving I am pulling into Ethan's driveway
01:20Ethan is not home from work yet, but he tells me the code to get in and says go in
01:25and see the house
01:35Oh nice
01:39The table I brought is gonna fit perfectly there I think oh he's got an upstairs
01:48Ethan has a very little stuff in there. He's got some blankets on the floor and that's it
01:55Okay, yeah
01:57He needs some stuff
02:12Hi
02:13Hi
02:14Good to see your car cycle parked in the driveway. Oh, okay on the street, okay?
02:18Yeah, I didn't know what time you were coming. So I thought I would just start unloading my mom
02:24No, I came up to Wisconsin with a load of household items
02:30He brought a lot of stuff. I did can we unload it now sure?
02:35I definitely think my mom driving all the way up is definitely a way she shows love
02:43Nice I've got everything for his dining room his kitchen linens
02:48Stuff for the rest of the house everything I can find I even have a fire pit
02:57That's everything
03:00Yay
03:04That's pretty good
03:06I'm not really concerned that he'll scare Tegan off by doing too much because
03:10He's already doing too much by just moving up there. She's either gonna
03:16You know accept that or turn away from it
03:20Are you guys?
03:22Like back together is everything fine?
03:26Are you taking it slow being friends first like
03:30Or you don't know yet?
03:40Did you hear me say that like with Tegan? Are you guys?
03:44Back together is everything okay you working through stuff you just friends for a while or you don't know yet?
03:51I'm trying to
03:53Communicate more with my children
03:56No, everything's okay. Well, I mean we're not back together. I
04:00I didn't think she would we'd just get back together. Yeah, dear, you know, I'll take time
04:04But that's okay. Are you like you're just your friends right now?
04:09Yeah
04:10Well, that's good. Yeah, I mean
04:20I think Ethan is making
04:23Decisions based on emotion not so much logic
04:27um
04:28I mean that's okay
04:30But hopefully some logic will creep in at some point
04:38You putting that away in there?
04:41It's possible that Ethan could get really hurt in this because he really does love Tegan
04:46I feel like he needs to figure out if that door is still open or if it's closed forever
04:51I think the last time that Ken and I broke up
04:54we were just friends
04:56And we just decided to just be friends and then that lasted
05:02for a while a few months and then we
05:05Realized that we loved each other and we've been together ever since
05:09mm-hmm
05:13So I mean friendship is definitely a good solid foundation
05:16Yeah
05:18Yeah
05:19Yep
05:26She's my mom and she's
05:28real curious about
05:30You know how I'm doing and how Tegan's doing and what our relationship is looking like, you know
05:35But if I tell her something, you know, she might tell the rest of the family
05:40Like a deep personal thing that maybe I'm struggling with her how I'm feeling
05:44I want to be respectful of Tegan and how she's feeling
05:49I don't really know but I would assume she's
05:54Giving it time to see what I do, you know, for all she knows I can move up here
05:59And be here for a month and be like, well, I haven't seen or heard from her. So screw this
06:03I'm gonna go back to Georgia and then she'd be like I knew it
06:08Anyway, I'm gonna head back to the hotel and yeah get some sleep. I appreciate it. So yeah, I would
06:14let you stay here
06:14But I don't have a bed. No, you're you're good. I like beds
06:33Today me and Kalen are going down to play games with Zach and Lydia and hang out a little bit
06:36I want to be able to make them feel like they're cared for because they are family and and I
06:40want to make it a point to be able to see them
06:45Oh
06:45Oh, it's already so open. Hello. Hi, come in. It was already open. It's all good. Hi, I like your
06:54jacket. Oh, thank you
06:56There's no hard feelings there. I don't believe at least on my end
06:58How you been good
07:02I got plenty of
07:04Childproof champagne my favorite apple sparkling. Kid wine. Kid wine. All right. We'll put the pizza over here. Yeah chow
07:12down
07:13Thanks for bringing it. I have the same rug in my room. Just like three times a little bigger. Yeah
07:19How is the Montana trip for you guys?
07:26Trying to think
07:30It would have been really cool to experience Montana with the whole group, but it was very quick
07:36Yeah, I have a plan and we were like, well, we can't get off work anyway
07:40So even if we were invited, I don't think we would be able to go but we actually have another
07:44trip planned for later
07:45That we're super excited about so
07:50Horseback riding was really fun. I mean we were at the lodge and we had like almost a watch to
07:54ourselves
07:55And it's like all these separate cabins and buildings. So it was fun. Gotcha
08:00If the Zach and Lydia were upset at all about not going to Montana
08:03That was I was not inviting people because I was invited, you know, we don't have any paper plates
08:07So they're bringing out the fine china
08:10Literally
08:11Go ahead and dig in. I mean, I'm down
08:13Go for it
08:14Let's do it
08:14Dig in, dig in
08:16Dig in
08:19What's this game?
08:20I got the game from a friend and I've never played it. So we'll see. Maybe it'll be fun. Maybe
08:24it won't
08:25Try to match the answer your to your partners. So whatever they do try to match it
08:30Best funniest most creative answers wins
08:33What is our fiercest ongoing debate? Oh, no, I feel like we agree on so much
08:46One two three
08:48With babies. Yep
08:53Can I show
08:55We debate about this all the time who is more competitive
08:59I didn't write anything. I don't know
09:11She she says she is but that's because we just get to see the rage from her all the time
09:15So it looks like she's the most competitive, but that's because I beat her all the time and you know
09:19That's the truth. You know, that's all the time. Not all the time, but it's 90% of the time
09:22So for that z and l get one point
09:27All right, next one is another match
09:31If we were a horse and a cowboy who would ride who?
09:40I feel like these were just skip over some of these questions. I feel like some of these are shuffled
09:45to the top
09:56I think I can come with better questions than these
10:00Okay, I'm curious what the rest of these cards are like
10:04I'm not
10:08Ethan invited me over to see his house. I haven't seen him since montana
10:14He doesn't call me so he's like living there without making any effort
10:19It's just really weird
10:21Ethan plath
10:24You can't stand the heat get out of the sauna
10:27You don't realize you're in presence at the plath daddy. Oh dear
10:32I will never call you that
10:35That's for sure
10:45If we were a horse and a cowboy who would ride who?
10:51Okay, I'm curious what the rest of these cards are like
10:55I'm not
10:58I mean, I'm curious about this foot now
11:03So one of you guys is a horse and one of you guys is the rider
11:09I'm ready. Are we ready?
11:21I was the cowboy and he's the horse
11:29I was thinking because I like if I was to carry her if one of us had to carry the
11:33other
11:33I would carry her because she can't really carry me. That's all I was thinking
11:36Yeah
11:39Because I carry you everywhere. Yeah, that's what I was gonna say. We got the same answer so we get
11:43a point. Oh my gosh
11:45I think Isaac and Kaelin are so sweet together. Yeah, they really do complement each other well. Kaelin's really sweet
11:51Isaac's
11:52Yeah, he's really awesome. I feel like they really balance each other out. So it's awesome. All right match. What
11:58is the craziest thing we've ever done?
12:00Y'all have a lot of stories
12:03craziest thing we've ever done
12:06I
12:06Know exactly what's the more family-friendly answer?
12:15Kaelin just think in the past
12:17The last time I was here. I actually uh helped fix their bed because their bed was broken within a
12:23week
12:23I was like right after they got married, but I just was like, okay, I'm gonna fix the bed and
12:29not think about it
12:32There's no nothing comes close
12:36Lydia went to kiss me and I
12:39Did I slip yeah, you slipped and fell on top of me and it broke like the support beam under
12:46the bed
12:52Crazy what happens when you're just trying to be romantic
12:57Isaac
12:57Isaac's working on the bed
12:58Are you already mm-hmm ready? Yep set go
13:03Skydiving skydiving yay
13:06Kaelin and Isaac should go skydiving they should
13:10We should take them skydive the four of us so we should go skydiving
13:20I said climb a mountain oh my gosh
13:25We did use to swim in a lake full of gators
13:33We've come a long way with lydia and zach and my family and me personally
13:38I've definitely made it clear to them
13:40That any way I acted towards them that hurt them that i'm i'm truly sorry for and I hope we
13:46can continue to improve
13:48But it goes both ways they have some work to do too. I mean there's definitely room for improvement. Maybe
13:54they're kind of
13:55High up on their stool, but you know that's between them and god all right next one is another match
14:16Ethan invited me over to see his house. He's lived there about three weeks. I think
14:22I haven't seen him since montana
14:25Besides just christmas when he picked up a plate of food from my family
14:31He doesn't call me on nights. I'm free. He doesn't ask me if I want to do something
14:37So he's like living there without making any effort
14:40It's just really weird
14:49I mean obviously i'm excited to see his house, so I feel like that's a good first start
14:57Ethan plath
15:00Oh
15:02Oh, he's coming
15:06Hi
15:07Hi
15:08Oh
15:09You didn't want to let me in or what?
15:11No, I was going to the bathroom. Oh perfect timing I guess
15:16Dude, you had me out there so long jesus christ. I had to bang like the cops
15:23Can I can I get a tour sure
15:29This is the kitchen. Oh, that's very nice
15:33It's kind of small. I mean like the whole house is kind of small. Yeah, you don't need anything big
15:37right
15:38I got some dishes
15:41I have cups now my mom brought cups and plates. Oh very nice
15:46and
15:48Yeah, and then the basement is down there
15:50Mm-hmm interesting you like my little coffee pot
15:54It's really little yeah
15:57Guess it's perfect for one person right
16:01I like the backyard yeah
16:06I got a house for a reason because I want to have family and I want to have that family
16:11of tegan
16:12Whether it's this house or not. I didn't want to
16:15Just get an apartment, you know, but that's my intention behind it
16:20It's the only bathroom in the house. That's the only downside
16:24but I
16:25Like it that's your shampoo and conditioner. Yeah, is that bad? No interesting
16:32What is it like a strictly a women's? I didn't say that I think you did I did not say
16:37that
16:38This is my bedroom
16:43Interesting kind of bed. Oh, I think I've been moved into the house for like two weeks
16:50Slowly acquiring things, but
16:52It's hard you work all day and you go home. You just want to lay down
16:56I have a bed coming and it's just not here yet. Yeah, it's not here yet
17:03Interesting
17:04The non-existent bed
17:06is a little crazy
17:09I
17:10It's ethan plath. I mean it makes sense
17:13He has slept some very weird places before with much less. So
17:21Yeah
17:25Do you want to make brownies?
17:27Um
17:29You can make brownies
17:33Have you ever made brownies before?
17:36I made them one time with you
17:39We did? When?
17:41Uh, at grandma's?
17:45That would add up
17:46That makes sense
17:48Oh, 325
17:50Are you gonna poison them?
17:53No
17:55It's just a joke
17:55That's not funny
17:56Why is that not funny?
18:03I thought it was funny
18:05Oh, I threw my directions away
18:08I got
18:10Ingredients make brownies because tegan
18:13Really likes brownies. He makes them pretty often
18:15Now it says a quarter cup of water third of a cup of oil and one egg
18:21Unfortunately, I didn't realize I didn't have a measuring cup and I didn't even think about that until I started
18:25cooking
18:26What if I just eyeballed it?
18:29Yeah, you can do that
18:31I guess
18:33Nah, I'm just
18:35I'm an idiot
18:36Quarter cup would probably be like tea here
18:38You think about there?
18:40Yeah, I guess
18:44I would say him
18:46moving to Wisconsin and getting a house is a step in the right direction
18:52I think that's a quarter cup
18:54I'm sort of waiting to just see what he does
18:56because like, you know, he moved which is
18:59that's nice, that's good, but anybody
19:01You know, he doesn't have any responsibilities, so he can move wherever he wants
19:07So just sort of seeing what he does, how long he stays, you know, if he'll stay
19:13that kind of stuff
19:26Don't really have anywhere to sit down and like hang out
19:29Well, there's the couch
19:30You know, it's small
19:46Hello
19:48I haven't seen Kim since Zach and Lydia's wedding
19:52How are you doing?
19:53Tegan is here and it just feels a little bit awkward
19:57I'm assuming you guys are friends and just friends
20:00I would say we're working our way to friends
20:03Okay
20:04Yes, I'd say maybe like a step under that at the moment
20:07I feel like Ethan has a lot of baggage to work through after his first marriage
20:11She needs to see some growth, some maturity, some communication skills
20:31Is your car doing good?
20:33So far so good
20:34Are the transmission still on that?
20:37Well, I got a flat tire, I don't know if I told you that
20:40Yeah
20:40Oh
20:44Someone's here
20:45Hello
20:46Can I come in?
20:47How are you doing?
20:48Good, how are you?
20:49It's cold out there
20:50Yeah
20:51It's cooled down a little bit
20:52Yeah
20:53I got to drive a little bit in the snow
20:56Hi
20:56Hi
20:57I haven't seen Kim since Zach and Lydia's wedding
21:01I went to that thrift store today, I got some chairs
21:05So what are you guys up to?
21:06Oh, I showed her the house and I tried to make brownies
21:09Can you smell the brownies?
21:11Um, no
21:12No?
21:13At least they're not burnt
21:15Not yet
21:21I get to Ethan's and Tegan is here and it just feels a little bit awkward
21:26Maybe it's the furniture arrangement
21:29We want to bring the chairs in now?
21:32Yeah, we could do that
21:34It's just, they're both just kind of sitting
21:39Um, it just looks awkward, it feels awkward
21:51Well, it's nice
21:53Well, I'm going to run to the store
21:56Let me try
21:57Okay
21:57I want to get like a little green leaf thing to go on the table
22:03Okay
22:05Because it doesn't all look white
22:06We don't know what that is, but I guess we'll see when you come back
22:12I wanted to go get a few things
22:15And also give my mom and Tegan some time to spend together
22:21What do you think they're going to talk about?
22:23I don't know, I don't know what girls talk about
22:25Whenever girls have girl talk, I've never been in a room
22:30Yeah, I really like the house
22:31It is really nice
22:33Do you see the deck too?
22:34It's a big deck and it's a nice yard too
22:37Yeah
22:38Historically, my relationship with Kim has just been, you know, talking every so often
22:43Just usually via text
22:45So were you surprised when he told you he was moving back?
22:49Oh yeah
22:49Or moving here?
22:49Beyond surprised
22:50Yeah
22:51I was like shocked
22:53Yeah
22:54Yeah
22:54Did not expect that, that's for sure
22:57Yeah
22:57Not on my bingo card for the year, but
23:01He seems happy here, I mean
23:04I mean, being here today seems like he likes it
23:06Yeah
23:07So that's good
23:08Yeah
23:08I'm assuming you guys are friends and just friends
23:11Yeah, I would say we're, we're working our way to friends
23:15Okay
23:16Yes, I'd say maybe like a step under that at the moment
23:19Okay
23:19Just because we don't really talk or hang out or anything anymore
23:22Okay
23:22So, yeah
23:27I mean, I don't know everything
23:29I know a little bit of just things that happened
23:33I think the main thing was in our relationship, I was prioritizing him
23:38And then I feel like he was also prioritizing himself
23:42And that we were both putting him first
23:44Yeah
23:44No one was putting me first
23:45The day we broke up, like the official day we broke up, that was hard
23:51Tegan told me that Ethan
23:56Left and didn't answer the phone and she went looking for him and he was
24:04Gone for several hours, so she just drove back to Wisconsin and broke up with him
24:09I can't blame her
24:12My guess is, I feel like Ethan has a lot of baggage to work through after his first marriage
24:20Like I've told him, you know, what's meant to be will be
24:24I've always had that mindset, so we'll see where things go in the future
24:29Yeah
24:30Ethan is definitely a unique person
24:32And it is going to take somebody unique to know how to handle that and enjoy him
24:40I just think we needed it that time apart and that break for sure
24:44Yeah, yeah
24:45So he could work on himself so I could work on myself
24:48Yeah
24:48And see where it goes from there
24:50I feel like Tegan right now just wants to take it slow
24:53And I don't think she's going to be rushed into anything
24:58She wants to see that Ethan is going to be around for a while
25:04And that he, she probably wants to see him be a little bit better at communicating
25:10It just, I think that this break, you know, hopefully is helping him rediscover
25:18What's important and what's not
25:21And the distance was hard too on us
25:23Yeah, yeah
25:24I think he's just not a really big phone guy
25:26And so
25:27Yeah, he's a horrible communicator
25:29And I don't know if all of this is helping him
25:33Like if he's going to learn to communicate with you
25:37Because he wants to restore the relationship, you know
25:40I definitely sympathize with Tegan
25:43She needs more than just he is geographically in that area
25:47She needs to see some growth, some maturity, some communication skills
25:53Well, and I can tell you as a mom of boys
25:58That don't always make the best choices in women
26:04But basically, I think Isaac got a good one when he found Kalen
26:11And Ethan got a good one when he found you
26:15So
26:15Oh, you're so sweet
26:18Oh, that was really nice to hear
26:20Because some boy moms are like, you know, my son could do nothing wrong ever
26:27So it was really nice to have that understanding from her
26:30And that, you know, that she does
26:32She loves me for me, you know
26:34He's a grown man
26:35He's got to figure out his stuff
26:42I forgot my wallet
26:44Oh, here comes the blood again
27:03My feet are tingling like crazy
27:05So today, Zach and I are at a wellness center
27:08And we're going to experience some things that I haven't experienced before
27:14Such as compression machines
27:15And the inversion table
27:19There's a sauna there, too
27:20I mean, I've done saunas before
27:22But it should be fun
27:25It's good to fill your brain with a ton of blood
27:28Yeah
27:28Maybe it's going to make me smarter
27:32Lady and I just went to Montana
27:34With Isaac Kalen and Miriam Burr
27:37This was our first time in Montana with everybody
27:39So it was really nice
27:40Lydia, are you making a...
27:42Oh
27:44It was a great trip, honestly
27:45Isaac and I actually went skiing
27:47And it was a great time
27:48So I just got back
27:50But Lydia actually flew to Wisconsin
27:52To meet up with Kim
27:53Because Ethan's got his place ready
27:56They're going to check it out
27:57And then Kim and Lydia will be driving back
27:59So is my face all red?
28:01It's almost the color of your hat
28:03Oh, cool
28:04I've wanted to do this for a while
28:06Because I'm a health nut
28:07Yeah, I'm just trying to get more healthy
28:08Because I'm heavier than I've ever been
28:12Barry, my legs have doubled in size
28:14So I get compression legs
28:17And...
28:17Looks like you've got chicken legs
28:20Don't worry, they're going to get bigger
28:22They're going to get smaller
28:23After they're compressed
28:24They're going to get water long
28:28All this vibrating is causing my butt to itch
28:31Of all things
28:34Yeah
28:37So at what point did Lydia decide
28:41Hey, I'm going to go over to Wisconsin
28:43Because Kim was coming up
28:44Yeah, of all the people that probably could have helped Kim
28:47She's also the most adhered to long road trips
28:51So it'll be a good time for Kim and Lydia to talk too, right?
28:55Obviously, it's 18 hours of driving, so...
28:58I don't know, you can probably only play the alphabet game so much
29:02And then you're going to be forced to talk
29:03I know, yeah
29:06Because has Lydia arrived at a better spot with Kim
29:08Regarding everything that transpired at the wedding?
29:11She wants Kim to just be more emotionally involved
29:15She doesn't always just call her on the random
29:17She usually calls her to like get things done
29:20Or it's not like, hey, how's my daughter doing?
29:23There's been some emotional connections that I feel like Lydia has seen
29:29But also is still looking for just in a mother period
29:35But yeah, I know how Kim is like that too
29:37She's not emotionally like engaged a lot
29:41Yeah, yeah
29:41I know Lydia and Kim are working on their relationship
29:45And I also, I guess you could say, have my reservations for Kim
29:52And just how she's kind of treated Lydia
29:55But I think for the most part we're
30:00Gaining ground and starting to have more conversations
30:03Which I'm looking forward to, so
30:05I can't imagine how to be emotionally engaged with some of the stuff
30:09That she's been through, so
30:12Especially Joshua, right?
30:13Oh yeah
30:14It's been 17 plus years since our son Joshua died in a terrible tragedy
30:20He was 17 months old
30:23It was a normal day
30:24And we were doing some yard work
30:26I pulled a vehicle forward
30:28I had just seen him
30:30So I thought I was okay, but I pulled forward and I ran over him
30:34Yeah
30:36You know, I don't think she feels
30:38Any like trauma in the here and now still from that
30:41Right
30:41But I don't know, is there stuff just layered somewhere deep beneath
30:45The moment that she still may need to process? I don't know
30:57I didn't really learn what it looked like to really talk about things in general
31:05A large piece of that was not talking about Joshua
31:09Publicly Lydia gave lots of details of Joshua's death
31:12Things that I feel she doesn't have the place to say
31:30It's been a while since I've been in a song
31:35Oh boy
31:36How much heat do we have?
31:41Everything burning up
31:42I've inverted jiggled and compressed and now it's time for the sauna and cold plan
31:54I'm feeling
31:56No, I'm not. I'm sweating a little bit
32:00Well, hey, thanks for doing this with me
32:05Hey, maybe they'll come a future day where you know, I have a date and then we can come here
32:10Yeah
32:12For sure
32:12Double date to the sauna
32:14There you go
32:16How's the dating world for Mr. Barry?
32:19Well, I mean Renee has been great
32:21Renee
32:22My matchmaker lady is still hard at work trying to find someone for me
32:26I mean, I trust Renee. I mean, she's
32:29Been doing this for almost two decades, right? She knows her stuff
32:33So she provided me a number for a lady in Tennessee
32:37Okay
32:38And I called her and we talked for an hour
32:41The first one was she was she was fun
32:44Yeah
32:44She just really liked
32:47Experiencing life and having fun
32:49There you go
32:49And then we got into this topic of
32:53Celebrating like Halloween and stuff and I'm like
32:56I just I don't do Halloween there
32:59I just want somebody who gets Halloween like I get Halloween
33:02Yeah
33:03Right, because it's like a non
33:06It's a non-event day for me
33:07Yeah
33:07So I'll just keep trying
33:09Yeah
33:10Sounds like he's getting good opportunities to just
33:13Step into the dating world again
33:15Obviously, it's been a minute for him
33:16And so
33:20Interesting descriptor
33:21But yeah, I'm just glad to be a part of the process
33:24It can be complicated sometimes
33:26And
33:26You don't realize you're in the presence of the plat daddy
33:29Oh dear
33:31I will never call you that
33:34That's for sure
33:40You can't stand the heat get out of the sauna
33:55Did you see the bag the girls made for me for Christmas?
33:58Oh, that's cute
33:59Yeah
34:00I flew up to Wisconsin from Montana to see Ethan
34:05Spend time with mom and help her with the 18-hour drive home
34:09It was good to see Ethan last night
34:10His house is so cute
34:13That's the bathroom
34:16That's cute
34:17Here's my bed
34:19Seems about right
34:21Oh, we have an in-ground fire pit
34:22We have a fireplace
34:28Lydia loves road trips
34:30And she's been wanting to spend more time with me
34:32So I asked her if she'd like to come on this road trip with me
34:34I'm excited about that
34:36It's going to be a fun like mother-daughter road trip
34:39Okay, you ready?
34:40I'm ready
34:43Also, it's a chance for us to spend some time together
34:46And have a chance to talk
34:47I have over 500 songs on my playlist
34:50I love every single one
34:51And I'm always frustrated that I never get to hear all of them
34:55Okay
34:57I have a picture to show you
35:00Something that Ken found in the barn
35:04What is that?
35:05Take a guess
35:06I'm confused because it looks weird
35:08But it looks like it has flowers on it
35:10So you'll have to tell me
35:12Okay
35:13That's called a bong
35:15It's used for smoking pot
35:19There's different ways to smoke pot
35:21You can, you know, roll it up like a little cigarette
35:24Also known as a doobie
35:26And smoke it like a cigarette
35:27Or, you know, the bong and there's water in there
35:30And you light it
35:32And I don't know
35:32So that was in the barn
35:36It's not mine
35:40I smoked pot like twice in college
35:43Just, you know
35:48I'm good on this subject
35:51Anyway, just a thought
35:53Okay
35:59I'm glad you didn't keep it up
36:01Yeah, no, no
36:04Some of the things that we have to talk about are a little bit tricky
36:16I miss Zach
36:18Aww
36:19Zach's a pretty good therapist
36:21Okay
36:24Not really
36:25Yeah
36:25But you know, he's good to talk to
36:29Um, growing up
36:33I didn't really learn
36:35What it looked like to really talk about
36:38Things in general
36:40A large piece of that was not talking about Joshua
36:43Yeah
36:44I will say I heard bits where you talked about Joshua publicly
36:54Lydia went online and she was crying about Joshua
36:58Which is fine, totally understandable
37:01But then she starts, you know, sharing about how she wasn't equipped to deal with that
37:07I've had a lot of guilt that I've had to deal with
37:10And when I first heard Lydia talking about Joshua online
37:13It was like ripping open that wound for me all over again
37:17It's almost unbearable to even think about
37:29I will say I heard bits where you talked about Joshua publicly
37:34When I first heard what Lydia said about Joshua's death
37:38My heart broke for her just knowing knowing that she's still hurting
37:44Yeah
37:46Joshua was one of our sons
37:49And he died at 17 months old in a really tragic accident
37:54Publicly Lydia gave lots of details of Joshua's death
37:57Then she went on to speculate about his death and how it affected me
38:01How it affected Barry and I's marriage
38:03Things that I feel she doesn't have the place to say publicly
38:10I felt like you blamed me for not communicating about that part of it
38:16The intent was not pointing fingers
38:20I just needed him to be acknowledged and talk about his life
38:26I don't feel like you don't know how to communicate things
38:33You have so much going on in your world
38:35Yeah
38:35And what's in front of you that like
38:37Not that you forget about the others but they're just not in your forefront
38:41Yeah
38:44Right after Joshua died I wasn't ready to talk to anybody about it
38:49It probably took about a year to you know be able to talk about it at all
38:54We've periodically go to the grave site and put little duckies on the grave or some flowers
39:02They're probably flowers he'd remember from the farm
39:05The thing that has been hard for me is just knowing how much I've hurt all of the other kids
39:12How much pain I've caused them and I
39:17That's just hard
39:21I asked several other people like friends of mine that heard it and they all said they thought that you
39:27implied that we didn't talk about it
39:29Because it was
39:32Like in your hands and naturally would want to protect you from hearing anything else about it. Yeah
39:43I have thought about
39:47Talking about
39:49Joshua with my mom. I just haven't had the strength to bring it up with her
39:54You know, yeah dad and I didn't give you the tools to deal with that
39:58But I mean that's a hard thing to
40:00I don't think anyone I don't think anybody
40:02Well, I was gonna say I don't think anybody can I still can't give you the tools to deal with
40:06it
40:07Yeah
40:10It's kind of sad to me that she's opening up
40:18To the internet and not me
40:24I mean this kind of is a is a good picture of the gulf that separates us and I want
40:33to fix that
40:41We're 11 people in the family we just need to accept everybody as best we can
40:49Lydia doesn't see a problem with them sitting people down and correcting them but when I talked to everybody else
40:56yeah, it was
40:58So today I'm going on a blind date
41:04I
41:05I
41:05Wow, that that's a nice little thing
41:08I'm out in Montana exactly to only talk to the girls when I was away
41:12He was telling them that Mariah shouldn't have this in her house
41:14She shouldn't have this playing they shouldn't listen to this kind of music
41:17I feel like the solution is we just all get together and yeah, there's some things to talk about
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