- 2 days ago
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TVTranscript
00:07As some of you may know, earlier this year, we lost one of our drag sisters, Heklina.
00:12This next episode was recorded several months before her passing.
00:15Heklina was a trailblazer in the drag community.
00:18She began performing in San Francisco in the mid-90s,
00:20and her themed drag shows helped launch the careers of some of the most successful drag queens and performance artists
00:25working today.
00:26She was best known for pushing the envelope and creating a safe space for edgy, experimental, and outrageous performers.
00:33She helped tear down the walls that led to a greater acceptance of drag,
00:37eventually to the point where we now see drag queens on television appearing at drag conventions,
00:41performing on Broadway, and headlining giant international tours.
00:45What you're about to see comes directly from the wild and twisted minds of Heklina and her best friend and
00:50teammate, Peaches Christ.
00:52So I hope you enjoy watching this episode as much as I enjoyed filming it.
00:56And cut.
00:57Ugh.
00:58Do you know that she owed me $20 and then died?
01:02Rude!
01:21Come join our parties, they live in room size.
01:26Where two teams of drag queens compete for the prize.
01:31Who won't be low and die?
01:34Who won't be low and die?
01:36Who won't be low and die?
01:36Who won't be low and die?
01:40Hey!
01:41Greetings, ladies and gentlemen, and everyone in between.
01:44I'm your host, Murray Hill.
01:46This isn't my double chin.
01:48It's my stomach coming up for air.
01:50Tonight, two teams of your favorite drag queens will go head-to-head to throw drag-tastic theme parties for
01:56our judges.
01:57He once made a life-size sculpture of himself with Legos, the multi-talented Neil Patrick Harris.
02:03She once wrote a book.
02:05Can you believe it?
02:05Drag superstar, Bianca Del Rio.
02:08She's single and very ready not to be single, the funny and fabulous Anifa Wood.
02:14The judges will be focusing on design and decor, food and drink, and entertainment and overall vibe to decide which
02:22team is greater.
02:23So let's meet tonight's teams.
02:27Hi, I'm Bitch Puddin', and I'm the dessert, and this is my sister-off-the-menu, Meatball, who's the entree.
02:36I'm Peaches Christ, and this is Heklina, and we've been friends for a long, long time.
02:43When we started doing drag, it was unpopular.
02:46Back in my day, we would get really hostile reactions from people.
02:50And so it was a real passion.
02:51I almost did it for money, sorry.
02:54Go ahead, you go ahead.
02:57Us in a room together sounds a lot like...
02:59Whoa!
03:05You know, we really take you on a ride.
03:09We're gonna lose.
03:10Oh my goodness.
03:13Unless the judges are idiots, they're gonna love us.
03:17We're just trying to maintain our high standards of professionalism.
03:22Uh, hygiene, and move on.
03:24And beauty.
03:26Get out here, ladies!
03:27Come on!
03:29Come on out!
03:36Oh, God!
03:37Oh!
03:38Oh, jeez!
03:39Oh, my God!
03:39Oh, my God!
03:40You okay, baby?
03:41I can't find a good teammate anywhere.
03:44You okay?
03:45I'm fine, I'm fine.
03:46Oh, my God!
03:46No, I tried to kiss you.
03:47I know you tried it.
03:49Ladies, how are you today?
03:50We're great!
03:50We're great!
03:51Gorgeous.
03:52So, bitch, uh, I don't want people to think I'm calling you a bitch all night.
03:56That's your actual name, right?
03:57Yep, I'm asking for it.
03:58You can call me bitch.
03:59Peaches, do you like any other fruits besides peaches?
04:02No, I just like peaches.
04:05Now, Meatball.
04:07Yeah.
04:07First of all, people call me Meatball, too, so I feel a special bond with you.
04:10They call me Meatball because I'm big, brown, and round.
04:13That's showbiz.
04:14Now, Meatball, how did you prepare for tonight?
04:16Are we cooking?
04:18And, ladies, what do you think about your competition tonight?
04:21Well, I've mentored them.
04:22I've made them what they are today.
04:24I'm excited to see Abhora and, uh, Dahlia's.
04:33And, of course, no dinner party would be complete without a fantastic theme.
04:38Here to talk about tonight's resident expert and the life of the party, David Berka.
04:44Oh!
04:49Whoa!
04:52Hey, Murray.
04:54Hello, ladies.
04:56Hello.
04:57Hurry, hurry.
04:59Step right up because tonight's theme is Big Bottom, Big Top.
05:04It's your chance to celebrate carnivals, freak shows, and the excitement of when the circus comes to town.
05:09Our judges will be paying attention to food and drink, design and decor, and entertainment and overall vibe.
05:17I want to see how your teens can elevate the idea of fairground food.
05:21You know, you can make alcoholic slushies, turkey legs, salty nuts.
05:25Ah, wow.
05:27And deep fried anything.
05:29If you feel like giving up, don't worry because you'll both have a handy helper to assist you.
05:33So let's make this the greatest show on earth, or at least on Hulu.
05:37All right, Queens, are you ready to join the 10-in-1 and impress our judges?
05:42Yes!
05:42Because if you do, you'll be showered with fantastic prizes like these.
05:48A baby bottle full of babies.
05:50A nut sack.
05:52Cut tape.
05:53A Fran dresser.
05:54A bathtub of butter.
05:56Ode to Harry Styles.
05:5855 gallons of lube.
06:00A high five from Bianca Del Rio herself.
06:02All the crackers you can carry.
06:04And the grandest prize of them all.
06:07The glorious Golden Grater.
06:10Because one team is great, but the other is greater.
06:15All right, are you ready to get this party started?
06:17Yeah!
06:18Let's start the clock and release the Queens.
06:21Get out of my way.
06:23Move, you ain't getting high.
06:24Excuse me, sir.
06:25Move, bitch.
06:26You have 90 minutes to complete this challenge.
06:29I'll get the alcohol.
06:30Out of my way.
06:33Okay, what do you mean?
06:34I want tequila.
06:35I want moonshine.
06:36I want...
06:37What do you want?
06:37I'll make anything.
06:39I have a knife.
06:40Bitch, I got it.
06:41I got it.
06:43Oh, we need a cup.
06:44Oh, wait.
06:44We're good.
06:44Here we go.
06:45Bitch Pudding loves being trashy and loose and kind of crass and wild.
06:51Cheers to fun!
06:52She's drinking whiskey out of a measuring cup.
06:54That's very creative.
06:56Okay, good.
06:56Let them drink.
06:56I'm not surprised at all.
06:58All right, Peaches.
06:58The professionals can get to work now.
07:00Right, okay.
07:00We got new school.
07:02Yes.
07:02And we got old school.
07:03It's true.
07:04It's carnival.
07:05I'll defer to you.
07:06Why is that?
07:07Because you're the freak show queen.
07:09Oh my God, you bitch.
07:10Catalina and Peaches met back in the day in the 90s.
07:13Between the two of us, you're definitely more the cook.
07:16Right, and you're more the eater.
07:17They're legends in San Francisco culture.
07:19Drag royalty hits.
07:20But from the looks of it...
07:22Honey, whose corset split today?
07:24Not mine.
07:25Okay.
07:25I think what we should do is freak show.
07:28What's a freak show food?
07:29Some kind of chopped off limb or something like that.
07:31What if it was like a cannibal feast?
07:34We take a meatloaf, but mold it in the shape of feet.
07:37Okay, I like that.
07:38And then we'll use like onions and use those as toenails.
07:41Side dishes.
07:42Potatoes, but make it ghoulish and call it Edgar Allen Poe-tatoes.
07:46Okay, that is so dumb.
07:47And let's do some witch fingers.
07:49What are witch fingers?
07:51Breadsticks that are made to look like fingers.
07:53Oh, like those.
07:55Okay, so witch fingers.
07:56All right, let's get going.
07:56Look at stuff.
07:57By the way, does this ring make my hand look smaller?
07:59Actually, no.
08:01Carnival.
08:02What comes to your mind?
08:03Rodeo clown.
08:04Beer.
08:05Beer.
08:05But what kind of food?
08:06Turkey legs.
08:08Turkey legs are so good.
08:10What if we did like a funnel cake?
08:11Okay.
08:11But we make it fancy.
08:12Right.
08:13Caviar.
08:14Ooh, you wild.
08:15Gold leaf.
08:15Dirty.
08:15Creme frange.
08:17Filthy.
08:17Filthy horror.
08:18Okay, let's do it.
08:19I don't have to eat it.
08:20They do.
08:20That's all that matters.
08:21That's all that matters.
08:22Potato sliders.
08:23With some bacon bits.
08:24Potato skin.
08:25But how are we going to elevate that?
08:26Maybe we can wrap it in gold.
08:28Okay.
08:29Okay.
08:29If anyone's been looking for Alaska, I found her.
08:32Oh, there is Alaska.
08:33She's lost a lot of weight, yes.
08:34This is exactly what we need to set the right mood.
08:37Freak show.
08:38We should make this look like carny cow.
08:40Carny cow.
08:41Right.
08:42Like there's beer cans everywhere.
08:45Okay.
08:46And a petting zoo.
08:47Oh, yes.
08:47And a smoking corner.
08:50Yes.
08:51Uh-huh.
08:51Let's do magic.
08:53I'll make you disappear.
08:56What should we do to like entertain them?
08:58Oh, they play ring toss.
09:00Do you think we should do a dunk tank?
09:02Should we get wet or should they get wet?
09:04We should get wet.
09:05We should get wet.
09:05Queens, you have 60 minutes remaining.
09:10Easy.
09:11We've got San Francisco versus LA.
09:13I do think that San Francisco is a little more laid back.
09:17You put that makeup on in 20 minutes, honey.
09:19Honey.
09:19We have plenty of time.
09:20These girls are refined.
09:21Don't panic like that other team is doing.
09:23These LA queens, they're, they're, oh, they're.
09:27Yeah.
09:28What is happening over there?
09:29Oh, my God.
09:30It's refreshing.
09:31It's so refreshing.
09:33I need a helper.
09:34Helper?
09:35I can't work like, oh.
09:36We're ready for helpers to rock.
09:39Hi.
09:40Hey.
09:41Hey.
09:42Helper.
09:43Oh, my God.
09:45Radio.
09:46Hi, me, girl.
09:47We got a helper.
09:48Do you mind pumping up all these balloons for us while we start cooking?
09:52Yeah.
09:57All right, listen.
09:58This is a little too red, too red.
10:01Let me go with something a little warmer.
10:03Let's see the highlights around your face.
10:06Oh, not a good match.
10:07Maybe dark.
10:08Something spooky and exciting.
10:11No.
10:12Uh, okay.
10:12This is probably our best bet.
10:15It has the highlights, which kind of look gray.
10:18Look at that.
10:19Oh, my God.
10:21Thanks so much, Bianca.
10:22I really appreciate it.
10:22Have a great show.
10:23Looks great.
10:25My work is done.
10:27Queens, you have 45 minutes left.
10:30All right, don't forget, you got to finish your food and drink.
10:33Add decor to make your party room shine.
10:35And prepare to entertain the judges.
10:37Time is ticking, so get to it.
10:41Bitch, we have to hurry.
10:43Cool, bitch, I'm whisking.
10:45Okay, so I've mixed it all wrong.
10:47Ooh, that's too much pepper.
10:48It's savory.
10:49It's savory.
10:50It's savory.
10:55I think they're chopped.
10:57Ah!
10:58Take our malium, please.
11:00Yeah, they're out of control.
11:02Oh, my God.
11:03No.
11:03This feels moist.
11:05It's time to form this into a foot.
11:08Is that a toe?
11:09That's a foot.
11:10Is that what your toe looks like?
11:12It does now, yeah.
11:13Oh.
11:13Makes sense.
11:14Ladies, 30 minutes left.
11:16Hey, let's go.
11:17What the fuck?
11:19Wow.
11:19The trick to this, though, is that you're going to have to pull it out at the right time because
11:23it could go from...
11:24Excuse me?
11:24Oh, my God.
11:25Oh, my God.
11:26Can you please keep it down a notch?
11:29Listen, they're old.
11:31This is literally all they have.
11:34I need a bottle of your finest gin.
11:36Now I'm going to mix the dark and stormy.
11:39I need somebody who actually drinks alcohol to taste it.
11:42I will!
11:43I know.
11:43Oh, the teams.
11:44Look at this.
11:45They are bridging the gap between the old and the new.
11:48How does it taste, Meatball?
11:50Could you use more alcohol?
11:52Okay, good.
11:53I'm going to put a muzzle on Meatball in a minute.
11:56Oh, my God.
11:57Grandma all pissed today.
11:59I'm going to make one of our cocktails.
12:01I'm going to add the moonshine.
12:02You want to come take a whiz?
12:03Yeah.
12:08They're going to love that.
12:11Is this enough lemon?
12:13Oh, my God.
12:13I love your piece of hay in your mouth.
12:15Look!
12:16Yes, baby!
12:16Yes, baby!
12:22Meepo, we don't own this set!
12:26We are a guest!
12:27Yes, daddy!
12:28Yes, daddy!
12:32Oh, my God.
12:33It got in the drink!
12:35No, it didn't.
12:36Yes, it did!
12:36What are we going to do?
12:37We're running out of time!
12:39Ah!
12:40Ladies, 15 minutes remaining.
12:44The Witch Fingers need almonds
12:47as the fingernails.
12:48And there's the fingers.
12:50This is actually a very nice cocktail
12:53that we have made,
12:53regardless of the glass or not.
12:55It's like when you get on a carnival ride
12:56and, you know, it kind of breaks sometimes.
12:57Yeah, yeah, yeah.
12:58And it gets derailed.
12:59Yeah, yeah.
13:00Okay.
13:00It's going to be okay.
13:01Okay, Queens, I'm going to ask you a trivia question.
13:05Trivia, it's trivia time!
13:08And the first team to shout out the correct answer
13:10will get an extra hand from our resident expert, David Berka.
13:14Okay.
13:15And the other team will get a visit from Sue Shack.
13:18Best of luck to you.
13:19All right, here we go.
13:21What are female ringmasters called?
13:25Ringmistresses.
13:25There we have a winner!
13:26Yes!
13:27So thank you!
13:30I was going to say Joan Crawford.
13:31It's time to get a special tip from David.
13:34Hi!
13:36Hi, hi, hi!
13:37Hi, hi, hi!
13:38Okay, well, this looks great.
13:40A little bit of a tip here.
13:42I'd like to give just the tip.
13:44No one likes to eat the woody part of the time.
13:47Oh, okay.
13:48Let's go off the leaves.
13:49Okay, thank you.
13:50I'll take the extra fiber.
13:51I forgot to take my Metamucil today.
13:52Good, good, good.
13:53What else do you need help with?
13:54I just put the potatoes in the oven,
13:55but can you tell me how long it belongs in here?
13:58I don't want them to die.
14:00Oh, you've got a while.
14:02You put sour cream on there?
14:03I think so.
14:03Okay, no, you put the sour cream after
14:04because the sour cream is just going to melt
14:06and make your potatoes mushy.
14:08Yes, David.
14:09Never cares.
14:10There's stuff at here!
14:11Wow.
14:13Uh-oh, it's Sue Chef.
14:16Hey, guys, what do you need help with here?
14:18Hi, Sue Chef.
14:19I'm a huge fan.
14:21I don't know how to juggle.
14:22We don't need juggling.
14:23Oh, Sue.
14:24Wow.
14:24Okay, Sue.
14:26Oh, Sue.
14:27Oh, I love ranch.
14:30Oh, that reminds me of something
14:33that I saw in the hotel room last night.
14:35Thank you so much.
14:37I'm trying to help out.
14:41Four minutes remain.
14:42Okay, we've got to make more fun, okay?
14:44Oh, wow.
14:45Look at that big load.
14:47Did you get glass in there?
14:48Let me put my hand in.
14:50Oh!
14:52Now that these two over here are panicking
14:54and we're done,
14:55it's time for us to have a cocktail
14:56and reflect on our job.
14:59Well done.
14:59Relax.
15:01Oh, yeah.
15:02I feel bad for them, quite frankly.
15:04Oh, no!
15:05That's just burning.
15:06Time is running out.
15:08You must be inside your dining room
15:11when the curtains are closed.
15:13We're done.
15:13And they are closing in 30 seconds.
15:16We need to make another cocktail.
15:18That's another final thing.
15:19Let's relax.
15:20Yep.
15:20This may or may not have broken glass in it,
15:22but that's the texture we're looking for.
15:24Yeah, we want that.
15:25There's no substitute for experience.
15:27Isn't it supposed to smell like fire?
15:2915 seconds.
15:31Woo!
15:32To being finished with oodles of time to spare.
15:3510, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.
15:45Time's up, queens!
15:48Ta-da!
15:49We did it!
15:50Oh, my God.
15:51That was something.
15:53I sure hope these queens are ready to host the judges
15:55because it's party time.
16:03Drag Me to Dinner!
16:06This is Drag Me to Dinner,
16:08where watching drag queens trying to cook
16:10is the best circus in town.
16:12We are about to go big bottom, big top
16:15on these dinner parties,
16:16but first, let's meet our judges.
16:19She's what happens when the bearded lady
16:21gets into clown makeup.
16:22It's Bianca Del Rio!
16:25What I think is funny, Murray,
16:26is that you think I'm wearing makeup.
16:28No, I actually don't.
16:29I think you look great.
16:30And he's a jack of all trades
16:32and the ringmaster of this circus,
16:35Neil Patrick Harris!
16:37Hurry, hurry!
16:40Murray Scurry!
16:43And our final judger
16:45is an incredible actress
16:46who, in the spirit of method...
16:48method, meth, meth acting.
16:50And our final judger
16:52is an incredible actress
16:53who, in the spirit of method acting,
16:55has decided to be the smallest judge on the stage.
16:59There are no small parts until tonight.
17:01It's Hanifa Wood!
17:03Oh, she's the littlest judger in all of the world.
17:08Now it's time to see
17:09what our queens have in store for us.
17:11Head backstage, kids.
17:12Come on.
17:12I'll see you in a minute.
17:13Get out of here.
17:14Beat it.
17:14Careful with Hanifa.
17:14Careful with Hanifa.
17:16These ladies have walked the high wire,
17:18swallowed flames,
17:19and made my appetite disappear.
17:21It's meatball and bitch pudding
17:24in hot food, hotter carnies.
17:39Okay, we did it.
17:40We did it.
17:40Set up.
17:41Yeah.
17:41The food is ready.
17:42We just have to wait for them to get here.
17:44Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
17:45Hold on.
17:47Perfect.
17:49They're here!
17:50Woo!
17:52I wonder who's coming to dinner.
17:54Open the door, me phone.
17:55Let's find out.
17:56Okay.
17:58Hello!
17:58Hey, everybody!
17:59Ah!
18:01Welcome!
18:02Welcome!
18:02Wow!
18:04Wow, your place looks fantastic.
18:05I know!
18:05Don't you love all the decorations?
18:07I'm all about it.
18:08We spent an hour on it.
18:11Please, have a seat!
18:13Okay.
18:14You know, David.
18:14All right.
18:15All right.
18:15And please, Hanifa.
18:17Hanifa.
18:17Hanifa.
18:18Oh, yes.
18:18Next to me.
18:19Are you guys ready for a beautiful feast?
18:22Yes!
18:23Why don't we start with drinks?
18:24Sure!
18:26I got excited.
18:27You said drinks.
18:28Oh, do you want a mocktail or a cocktail?
18:31I'll have a mocktail.
18:33Okay.
18:33Our mocktail is a delicious strawberry lemonade slushie with a beautiful topping of cotton candy.
18:42Oh, wow.
18:43So it's a drink and a dessert.
18:45A little bit.
18:46What about someone like me who wants a cocktail?
18:49Oh.
18:49It's a watermelon slushie.
18:51Ooh.
18:52Refreshing.
18:52I put a lot in one of these.
18:54I'm sorry.
18:54I'm not bad at it.
18:55This is my idea of fun.
18:57It should be a little smoky and delicious.
19:00Hanifa, do you want a sip?
19:01Give her a little sip.
19:03Oh, I would love a drink, but a virgin.
19:06Oh, yeah.
19:07Hanifa doesn't drink.
19:08She doesn't?
19:09Okay, great.
19:09If you notice some graininess, there might be broken glass in it.
19:12Sadly, when we were making the slushie earlier, Mipa got too excited and yippee-ki-yay,
19:16the glass, and it got into the slushie.
19:18Are you serious?
19:18I'm going to level with you.
19:20I'm not paying for that light that I broke.
19:26Fair.
19:27Okay, that's all that matters.
19:28There's a piece of glass that's in it right there.
19:30That's amazing.
19:31It's amazing that you utilized it in the table scale.
19:34Well, because we like to keep it high class and also very trashy.
19:37In order to get your first serving of food, we have to play a little game.
19:41Oh, I love games.
19:43I used to play games.
19:43Jeez.
19:47When I was a kid in Texas and we would go to the rodeo, and you got a watermelon,
19:51you would take the seed and get into a contest and see who could spit it further.
19:55Oh, I love that game.
19:56So today, we're going to be playing that game, but with chocolate-covered almonds right here
20:00in front of you as you...
20:00Oh, wow.
20:01And then you'll spit it into my mouth.
20:04Who wants to go first?
20:05I'll go first.
20:05I can't wait.
20:07Ah.
20:09Oh, got the titty.
20:11My turn.
20:12Okay.
20:13Ah.
20:19Okay, moving on.
20:20What about Hanifa?
20:21Hanifa?
20:22Oh, you know I want the meat.
20:24Oh, there's a little one.
20:25There you go, Hanifa.
20:28I got it!
20:30Hanifa!
20:31Oh, my gosh.
20:32You're so good.
20:33She's so talented.
20:34All right.
20:34For the beginning of our course, we'll start with the savory funnel cake.
20:39Oh.
20:40Topped with creme fraiche and fish eggs.
20:43Caviar?
20:44Yeah, it's caviar.
20:45It's your money.
20:46Yeah.
20:46We spent your money on caviar and gold leaves.
20:48And I put it on a funnel cake.
20:50And now you're going to eat it.
20:52I was trying to class up the carnival.
20:54I see.
20:54It did.
20:55Now, is it normal to start with a sweet appetizer like this?
20:58It's savory!
20:59Oh, okay.
21:00Yeah, that too.
21:00Listen, bitch.
21:02That's actually really good.
21:03Thank you so much.
21:04For our main course, we'll be having a turkey leg.
21:09Okay.
21:10Do you like turkey?
21:11Speaking of savory.
21:12There's more savory.
21:14It goes with your personality.
21:16Salty.
21:17That's it.
21:18There's a fly on mine.
21:19Yeah, you're going to want to take the flies off.
21:21That's for realism.
21:22Or if you want to add some extra crunch, they're there too.
21:25Oh!
21:25Oh, here's the carnival.
21:27You've got to be careful.
21:28The critters get out of the petting zoo all the time.
21:30Oh, no.
21:31He's stealing our nuts.
21:33Silly squirrel.
21:34Silly squirrel.
21:34Silly squirrel, get out.
21:35What is wrong with you?
21:37Silly squirrel.
21:37Wait.
21:38Silly squirrel.
21:39Silly squirrel, get out.
21:40He ruined my decorations.
21:41Listen, let's be honest.
21:43That squirrel can have my nuts.
21:45Oh.
21:46I like that.
21:48Now let's tell each other our deepest, darkest secrets.
21:51Anitha, what's your deep, darkest secret?
21:53You want to know my deep, dark secret?
21:55You can kiss my tits.
21:57Oh.
21:58Oh, bitch.
22:00Oh, I forgot we have some special guests coming to take care of you.
22:03We have some special guests.
22:04Hold on.
22:04Let's go get them.
22:05Let's go get them.
22:06Hold on.
22:07You ready?
22:08Ready?
22:09Oh.
22:10Howdy, y'all.
22:11Oh.
22:13Hi.
22:14Welcome to the carnival.
22:16Welcome to the carnival.
22:17Wow.
22:18You both look amazing.
22:20We showered.
22:21We did shower, but I did forget to chase.
22:26Do you work here at this carnival?
22:27Yeah, we start the games here.
22:29Come around to this side of the table and let's start playing.
22:33Wait, me both.
22:34Let's take this out.
22:35Nice.
22:35Mmm.
22:37Oh.
22:38Oh, man.
22:38Mmm.
22:38I can finally breathe.
22:40Do you need a sip of water, Mimi?
22:41I do.
22:42Open your mouth.
22:43No.
22:44No.
22:46No.
22:48Yes.
22:48Yes.
22:48We're going to be playing eggplant toss.
22:50Mmm.
22:51Have you ever tossed a ring on a phallic object before?
22:54I know I have.
22:55It's like Beyonce always says, got to put a ring on it.
22:58Ah.
23:00Ah.
23:00Bianca, why don't you toss rings?
23:02Yay.
23:03Yay.
23:04Yay.
23:05Yay.
23:06All right.
23:06Here we go.
23:08Ugh.
23:08Yay.
23:09Yay.
23:10Bianca, you did it.
23:12Oh, my gosh.
23:13Bianca, you get a coconut.
23:14You get a wonderful coconut.
23:16And since you won, you get the pleasure of dunking me
23:20and our one and only dunk tank.
23:24Yay.
23:26Yay.
23:26I mean, they have thought of everything.
23:30Do you like getting wet?
23:32Do you like getting wild?
23:34So wild here at the dunk tank.
23:37It gets weird at the dunk tank.
23:41All right.
23:41And you underhand or overhand and hit this big red button.
23:49And if you dunk the bitch, she gets wet.
23:51Yay.
23:54Such thoughtful games.
23:55All right.
23:56Since you won, you now get the coconut ball to throw in the dunk tank.
24:01Yay.
24:01Yay.
24:01No, another game.
24:03I mean, you're so good.
24:04Come on.
24:04OK, OK, OK.
24:05What is the worst thing that could happen?
24:07The worst thing already did happen.
24:08You were born, bitch.
24:10Hey.
24:10Now, these are fighting words because I'm going to get you in that water,
24:13even though I've already been to SeaWorld and seen a whale in this situation.
24:17You ready for this?
24:18Yeah, bitch.
24:18I'll try your best.
24:20Are y'all ready?
24:21Yay.
24:21Yay.
24:23It's on.
24:27Oh, my God.
24:28Oh, my God.
24:32Oh, my God.
24:34Oh, my God.
24:36Oh, my God.
24:39Oh, my God.
24:40Oh, I'm all wet.
24:44Aw, we did it.
24:45Oh, we did it.
24:46Ah.
24:47Shit floats.
24:50But I kind of like it.
24:51Thanks for coming to our party, y'all.
24:53I hope you had a wonderful time.
24:55Give me a kiss on your way out the door.
24:57Mmm.
24:59You guys were great!
25:01Roll up!
25:02Roll up!
25:02Our second party is coming right up!
25:06Drag Me Panina!
25:09Thank you!
25:10That was really disgusting!
25:11Panifa had a blast!
25:13Hup!
25:14Hup!
25:15Hup!
25:17Hup!
25:18Let's look straight ahead!
25:19Don't look down!
25:20See you at the party, Neil!
25:22Don't be late!
25:28It looks like it's time for tonight's second dinner party!
25:32Starring Heckalina and Peaches Christ in Magical Freak Show!
25:53Handy Dan, is every detail perfect and ready for my party?
25:57As perfect as it can get!
25:58I think we're almost ready for our guests then!
26:01But where's Peaches?
26:01Oh, to hell with that bitch!
26:04I think that's them!
26:05Let them in!
26:07Hello!
26:08Hi!
26:09Oh my god!
26:10Hi!
26:11Spooky!
26:12Welcome!
26:13Wow!
26:13To my freak show!
26:14I have lots of wonderful magic to show you!
26:17And I'm gonna get started by showing you the ugliest woman on earth!
26:25It's not what we discussed at all!
26:27Oh, sorry Peaches!
26:28Hi!
26:28Hi!
26:30Everybody please have a seat!
26:32We have some of the witches' fingers, which are actually breadsticks!
26:35Oh!
26:36Oh!
26:36Just try one please!
26:37Sure!
26:38I've been known to have a finger or two!
26:42To best enjoy these witch fingers, you might want to try my wacky little dips that I made here!
26:48Now this is our cocktail!
26:49Oh, the cocktail!
26:50Yeah!
26:50That would be helpful!
26:51Yes!
26:54And the piece de resistance is our feet loaf!
26:59Oh nice!
27:01Oh!
27:01Oh now I'm hungry!
27:02I think it's time to cut into the feet loaf!
27:05Oh, okay!
27:05Would you please help me, Dan?
27:07Oh God!
27:09Oh God!
27:11Oh God!
27:12Hecklina!
27:13What did you do?
27:14Don't worry about it Peaches and my guests!
27:17It's an illusion!
27:18He's not really injured!
27:20Oh God!
27:22Oh God!
27:22Dan, are you okay?
27:24Dan, why don't you just leave the room for a minute?
27:26This way sweetheart!
27:27Don't worry about it everybody!
27:28It's just a little, uh, a nick!
27:29He nicked his arm a little bit!
27:31You know what's funny Hecklina?
27:32Normally the guy doesn't kill himself till he dates you!
27:34That's true!
27:35How clever!
27:36It's true!
27:38Look, I'm gonna do another magic trick for you!
27:40Yay!
27:41I'm gonna need a volunteer which I'm going to choose!
27:45Oh!
27:45Hanifa!
27:45Hanifa!
27:46Hanifa loves tricks!
27:47Okay, I need somebody who's actually real sized!
27:50She turns tricks!
27:51You bet I do!
27:52David, would you please be my volunteer?
27:54But before you stand up, I need you to tie your napkin to Neil's napkin!
27:59Oh!
28:00Okay!
28:00I'll do it, I'll do it!
28:01Now this trick comes about because, well, Hecklina and I did have a little bet going!
28:05We think there's a kinky side to you!
28:08Mm-hmm!
28:08Oh!
28:09Ah!
28:11Which we're going to find out right now!
28:13What?
28:13Yeah!
28:13My lips are sealed!
28:15Okay!
28:16Now I need you to put both napkins, I hope you're okay with this, into David's pants!
28:22Oh boy!
28:24Lower!
28:24Lower!
28:25And that's far enough!
28:26Now I need you to pull on one side of the...
28:28Okay!
28:29Okay!
28:29And I'll pull on this side!
28:30Okay!
28:31One, two, three, go!
28:33Go!
28:34Whoa!
28:35I was right!
28:36David wears a jockstrap!
28:38I see you're not very impressed with that trick, Bianca!
28:41Mm-mm!
28:41How are the appetizers?
28:43Delightful!
28:43Now you need to get a good look at this feetloaf!
28:45Delicious feetloaf!
28:46And how convenient that you cut Dan's hand, because you can see the barbecue sauce on the
28:50top!
28:50That's right!
28:52Now one of the things about attending Midway is getting to see exotic rarities!
28:57Oh, well we've seen your faces!
29:00Whoa!
29:01Oh my God!
29:02Wow!
29:03Wow!
29:06Wow!
29:07Wow!
29:18Wow!
29:19Wow!
29:19Wow!
29:20Oh, I think I saw that movie!
29:21Oh my goodness!
29:22Well, please put your foot in your mouth again, Bianca!
29:25Mm-mm!
29:25Because I'm about to show you the piece de resistance of my magic tricks tonight!
29:30More magic!
29:31More magic!
29:32I'm going to...
29:33Peach is going to do this.
29:35I'm going to chop off Peach's head in this guillotine.
29:40Wait a minute, wait a minute, is this a real guillotine?
29:42It is, yeah.
29:43But I looked at it before and I think I know how to operate it.
29:46Okay, but you didn't even do the other trick correctly.
29:49You cut his arm.
29:50That was his fault.
29:51He got in the way, but I know what I'm doing.
29:53Okay, I just need you to, uh...
29:54Okay.
29:55Get down on your knees.
29:56You're used to that.
29:57Oh my God, this is...
29:57This is impossible!
29:59Please put your head through that little slit.
30:01No!
30:01Her neck will never fit in this!
30:05Are you comfortable, Peaches?
30:06I guess, but I really don't think we should do this.
30:09What could possibly go wrong?
30:10Let me just make sure everything's safe.
30:11Like, Lena, no.
30:12It doesn't seem safe.
30:13You're not wearing goggles.
30:14I don't think we should do this.
30:15You know what, you guys?
30:16Maybe you're right.
30:16We didn't rehearse this and we didn't discuss it.
30:18You guys are right.
30:19Okay, you know what?
30:20I'm just gonna forget this trick.
30:21No!
30:21Oh!
30:24Wowza!
30:24What the f***?
30:25It slipped out of my hand.
30:27I, um...
30:28Wait, uh...
30:29Isn't this fun, everybody?
30:31Oh, gosh.
30:33I killed Peaches Christ.
30:34I didn't mean to do it.
30:52Should we have a moment of silence and honor of Peaches dying?
30:55No, let's have dessert.
30:57Okay, that sounds good to me.
30:58Yeah, that'd be much better.
30:58All right.
30:59Far more filling.
31:00Is it peaches and cream?
31:02Peach cobbler?
31:06Peaches flambe?
31:07Peaches a la mode!
31:11Are you finished?
31:11Yeah, what is it?
31:12What is it?
31:13What is it?
31:13It was a little something I whipped up today.
31:15No big deal.
31:16Ya!
31:18Ah!
31:20You stupid cow!
31:21Herrquina, what were you thinking?
31:23You'll never get rid of me.
31:24Peaches, where is the dessert?
31:26Well, I got hungry.
31:28Oh, um, well, uh, ahem.
31:30Ta-da!
31:32Yay!
31:34I love magic.
31:39And blackout.
31:42We'll find out which queens end up on top next.
31:48Drag me to dinner.
31:52Let's get judgy.
31:54All right, team.
31:55Those were some parties tonight.
31:57Now, Neil, when you walked into Meatball and Bitch Puddin's party.
32:01I find it funny that you're laughing at Bitch Puddin, but that's a good drag name.
32:04They were hysterical.
32:07The entertainment, the multiple characters that they had made me laugh.
32:12I just enjoyed myself immensely.
32:13So, David, the food challenge, did they hit it?
32:15I think their food was fantastic.
32:17They did a really great job.
32:19Making a funnel cake is not the easiest thing to do,
32:21but taking it in a savory way with creme fraiche and caviar,
32:25you usually want something doughy and light and kind of bland to not overpower your caviar.
32:30So they did that.
32:31There was a giant shard of glass inside a piece of watermelon.
32:36I had no idea what that meant.
32:37I loved that they kept it in.
32:39Now, team, what about the outfits, huh?
32:41They gave us a second character, which I thought was pretty fabulous.
32:44The weird thing was they're like, oh my God, we changed our teeth, and I saw no difference.
32:48But it was entertaining, and I thought they actually paid attention to detail.
32:52I enjoyed it.
32:53So, Neil, you actually got up and interacted and played games.
32:55Did you enjoy that part of the party?
32:57It was fun to be interactive and get out away from the table, but I don't know.
33:01I feel like that was a bit of a missed opportunity for me.
33:04All right, Hanifa, what a circus we were part of tonight.
33:07Did you enjoy the party?
33:08Thanks, Mary, for asking me.
33:10Here's what I think about that party.
33:11It was big.
33:13What party did you go to?
33:14It was larger than life for her.
33:16All right.
33:17Now, gang, let's go to the magical freak show.
33:20But, heck, Lena and Peter's Christ.
33:23Neil, did you enjoy that party, huh?
33:24I thought the queens were hilarious.
33:26I loved that they didn't really like each other so much.
33:30And so, this is a tough one for me because I love magic, and I loved them.
33:35Bianca, what did you think of the feet loaf?
33:36The weird thing is that the smell of it, bear with me, was enjoyable, exciting, and I was like, all
33:43right, I'm ready to taste it.
33:44It brought savory morsels into my mouth.
33:46Bianca Del Rio.
33:47What?
33:48Are you trying to justify feet loaf as a dish at a party?
33:55That, by design, was a problem for me.
33:58Okay, okay, but listen, they were going for this spooky element.
34:02So, I get that they wanted to do a carnivore's meal, but all of their sauces were just from a
34:08bottle.
34:08Oh, those are from a bottle?
34:09They were from a bottle.
34:10They didn't make homemade ranch or homemade barbecue sauce.
34:12So, the thought of, like, actually doing things wasn't really there.
34:16I thought the skill set would be lacking, but it was highly entertaining.
34:20I mean, as I'm in the room, I'm going, you know what?
34:23They created an environment.
34:24They made it seem fun, and they were committed to what we're doing.
34:27Bianca, I hate to say this, but you sound happy.
34:33I loved the final magic trick of Peach's Christ, who had been decapitated, appearing as the dessert.
34:42Oh, my gosh.
34:42That was amazing.
34:43So, Hanifa, did you enjoy Hekalina and Peach's Christ's party?
34:46I like freaks, and they were freaky.
34:50I don't know.
34:50It seems kind of close.
34:52You know, it's Marie.
34:53There was aspects of both that we enjoyed.
34:56Yeah.
34:56Not me.
34:59All right, we're decided.
35:00Yeah.
35:01I think I know.
35:03Oh, my God.
35:05We're actually finally about to find out who won.
35:08Ladies, thank you for going all out and inviting us to your fake homes, serving us food, and scaring the
35:13shit out of us.
35:14And now, the moment you've all been waiting for, the greatest show queens, the winners of the glorious golden grater
35:23are...
35:30Murray!
35:33Come on!
35:35Meatball and bitch!
35:39Suck it, you old head!
35:41Suck it!
35:42Oh, my God!
35:44Suck it, you old head!
35:45Thank you!
35:45Thank you, Tosti!
35:47Oh, thank you, Steve!
35:49Oh, my God!
35:49Oh!
35:50Congratulations, queens!
35:52You're leaving with the coveted, glorious, golden grater!
35:57It's the middle head!
35:59Oh!
36:00Wow!
36:03I feel as though I've deserved nothing more in my life than this.
36:06I'm so happy to be here.
36:07Oh!
36:08I feel amazing.
36:09This is better than coupons.
36:10Yeah!
36:11I feel great and wet!
36:14Thanks for joining us.
36:15Enjoy the clown car we have waiting for you outside.
36:17Clown car!
36:19Oh!
36:19Yay!
36:20I'm fighting all over again!
36:21Yay!
36:24Ladies.
36:25Yeah, what?
36:26You were wonderful tonight.
36:27Uh-huh.
36:28Yeah, thanks.
36:29You didn't win, but is there anything that you learned tonight?
36:32Well, first of all, I think it's appropriate they want a grater because they were beginning
36:35to grate on my nerves.
36:38I think we learned that, uh, you know, we might not be the best at putting on dinner parties,
36:43but that's okay.
36:44Ladies, what an inspiration.
36:45You really turned it around.
36:46Thank you so much.
36:47Thank you, Mary.
36:47Thanks.
36:48Wow.
36:48Well, you may not have won the trophy, but we want to give you the one thing everyone
36:52wants when they leave the circus.
36:54Your handy helper is in your dining room with a couple of balloons.
36:57So go join them in a circus.
36:59Oh, thank you.
37:00Oh, wow.
37:01Oh, thank you.
37:02So we get you?
37:03Is this my prize?
37:05That's it!
37:06Oh, yay!
37:07Oh, thank you.
37:08Thanks so much for joining us here on Drag Me to Dinner, the unofficial, official three-ring
37:14circus of drag shows.
37:15I've been your host, Murray Hill, and if you're ever asked to work for Peanuts, check the contract.
37:21Neil, is mine done, actually?
37:23I haven't signed anything.
37:24Am I supposed to sign something?
37:26It happens soon.
37:26Or digital sign, is it?
37:27Either one, I haven't done.
37:29Good night, pals.
37:31You got a contract?
37:34Oh, this was so much fun.
37:42Oh, wow.
37:52That's a product.
37:54You thought that was a hot mess?
37:56Wait till you see this next one.