00:09So my friend Oscar Anderson and my friend Harry McIlroy, they both lost people who were very
00:14close to them. I didn't almost have the courage in that moment to reach out. I didn't know what
00:18to do because I've never been taught what to do. And I'm a poet. My whole thing is that I
00:22turn
00:22around to people and I speak to them about their emotions and I'm so open and stuff,
00:26but I just didn't know what to do. Funny enough, with Harry, I didn't see him until about a month
00:32after his dad died because I just didn't think he'd want to see me because he must have been
00:39grieving and that's what people do. They need lots of space. Then when I saw him, he just seemed so
00:43relieved and happy. I felt this huge wave of guilt knowing that I hadn't been there for him when I
00:49could have done. And it made me feel very uncomfortable. And generally when I feel uncomfortable,
00:53when I write something. So, yeah. This is a piece called Love is the Running Towards.
00:58I called last week, but you didn't pick up. I don't know if I'm supposed to call again or show
01:02up to your home with some freshly baked bread and a note that says, sorry for your loss. I didn't
01:08know what to do. So I baked this for you. And there's a sign right outside Shoreditch fire station
01:13that says, love is the running towards. That's who I want to be. I want to pick up whatever is
01:19left of
01:20your one winged heart and nurse it back to health in an aviary. I want to hold your life for
01:25a while.
01:26I want to do your laundry. Some of the days when you can't get out of bed, you'll be laying
01:30under
01:30clean sheets. I don't know what you're supposed to say to someone who has just lost the person who
01:35would have had the right words. But if there is something that would help, I want to stretch out
01:39every syllable until it's a mile long and wrap it around your face and blind you to the pain until
01:46time has healed your wounds. I want to run towards you and extinguish your pain, smother
01:52your smoldering ash with my arms. And I want you to feel it all because I know that's what
01:58you're supposed to do. I want to drop freshly baked bread at your doorstep with a note that
02:05says, if you want another loaf, just text, but call if you need a friend. But the truth is,
02:13I'm so scared of what to say and what to do. I'll wait till next week and try you again.
02:22Poetry in many ways is the purest form of honesty that we can get. It's like as few words as
02:28possible,
02:28you're trying to get as close to the truth. And I think that is the exact opposite of almost
02:33everything that people engage with in today's society. My friend Harry, he turned to me recently
02:41and I said, how do you feel now? He said, I believe that energy gets cast back into the world.
02:46And
02:46as he did, a flock of birds like, like just came on past and like over our heads. My mate
02:53Harry just
02:53looked up and he went, see, there he is. It's to the people who have helped me to find beauty
03:01within the
03:02pain and have helped me to keep going so that I can pass that on to everyone else. And if
03:08we keep
03:08on trying to find that beauty within the pain, we'll all keep on walking. We'll all stay.
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