- 2 days ago
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00:04Hi, this is Leslie Norris, and I need to make an appointment with Dr. Feldman.
00:10Okay, well, when will she be in?
00:13Oh, no, no, no, no, this is important. I need to see her much sooner than that.
00:16Can you please fit me in?
00:18Okay, this morning? I can come now.
00:20Oh, okay. Yes, please call me back. Thank you.
00:25Hey, babe.
00:27Hey.
00:28Hey, how you feeling?
00:28Uh, a little better.
00:31You were up all night.
00:34And how would you know?
00:36Because I was up all night making sure you were okay.
00:40Okay, I guess the, you know, the eyes shut and the loud snoring, it just kind of fooled me a
00:45bit.
00:49Your tummy's really bothering you, huh?
00:52It's turning cartwheels.
00:54Maybe it's something you ate.
00:56Well, the only thing I had was the lamb that I cooked last night.
00:59Good point.
01:02You ate the lamb and you're fine.
01:04Yeah, I'm good.
01:08Joseph.
01:09Yes?
01:11Did you not eat the lamb?
01:15Hey, come on.
01:16You know, you know, you and cooking, it's kind of, uh...
01:20But the lamb was good, right?
01:23It was.
01:25It was a good idea.
01:27And you know what?
01:29It was a hell of an effort.
01:31You cannot teach effort, babe.
01:35Proud of you.
01:38But, taste-wise, it was a bit more like Silence of the Lambs.
01:46Babe, stop it.
01:47Where are you going?
01:48Look, I'm going to make you breakfast.
01:49Oh, hell no.
01:51I mean, you're not feeling well.
01:54And, uh, you know what?
01:55Besides, look, check it out.
01:56Boom.
01:57Bam.
01:58Already started.
01:59I was already on it.
02:02Is my cooking that bad?
02:04Well, it's not that good.
02:09Sweetie, what's it with you wanting to cook all the time, anyway?
02:14Well, I'm just trying to do more of the things that a wife would do.
02:19All right.
02:21But you're nobody's wife.
02:26I know that, Joseph.
02:29So?
02:30Stop cooking!
02:32Joseph, we live together.
02:34The key word there being live.
02:40Come on, what can I cook you?
02:42You want some bacon?
02:43You love your bacon?
02:44I got some waffles.
02:45I'll do some waffles.
02:46Where I got the egg going, huh?
02:48How about some yogurt or some granola?
02:51You see?
02:53That's how I feel when you cook.
03:09You okay?
03:10Yeah, I'm just a little nauseous, babe.
03:12Look, I'll be fine.
03:13Just go ahead and go to work.
03:15Oh, no, no, no.
03:15I'm going to call in and take the day off.
03:19Well, you'll be here by yourself.
03:21Why?
03:23Babe, I'm fine.
03:24And I have a lot of appointments.
03:26Well, maybe you should take the day off.
03:30Babe, I think this is something that'll take more than a day.
03:35What do you mean?
03:38This may take nine months.
03:40Oh, my.
03:42You mean lamb can last in your system that long?
03:49Joseph.
03:50I'm kidding.
03:52Come on.
03:53Try not to be so dramatic.
03:54Nine months, the only thing to last nine months is pregnancy.
04:02You're not pregnant, are you?
04:04No, you know what?
04:04Don't answer that.
04:06It's the lamb.
04:07It's the lamb, right?
04:11Well, babe, you ate the lamb and you're fine.
04:14I didn't eat the lamb.
04:15I fed the lamb.
04:17To Fifi, she was under the table.
04:19And you know how she gets with the...
04:20And look at her, she's...
04:26Totally fine.
04:33Please tell me you are not pregnant.
04:36Well, I think I'm...
04:38No, no, no, no, don't think negative thoughts like this right now, okay?
04:42We need to focus.
04:44We need positivity.
04:45I need you to take those negative thoughts,
04:46and I need you to turn them around into something positive.
04:51Listen, Joseph, thinking won't make this go away.
04:55Okay, well, what makes you think that you are?
04:59Well, I've been sick the last few mornings, and I'm late.
05:04It's only 8.30, babe.
05:05You're not late.
05:08Joseph, I'm period late.
05:10Well, don't say that!
05:14Period.
05:15Don't say late.
05:17Well, I am.
05:22How late?
05:24Very.
05:26What's very?
05:28Three weeks.
05:31Oh, man.
05:32I thought that you were taking precautions so that this didn't happen to me,
05:36so that I was not put in this situation.
05:40Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
05:42So this wouldn't happen to you?
05:45Four words, babe.
05:47Pro-phi-lactics.
05:51Okay, I have five words for you.
05:54You are working on my nerves.
06:01That's six words.
06:03No, it's not.
06:05Uh, yeah.
06:06You are...
06:07It doesn't even matter, Joseph.
06:09Oh, gosh.
06:12What is wrong with you?
06:14What's wrong with me?
06:17You explain to me how this could happen.
06:21Well, Joseph, when a man and a woman come together,
06:26we're like a bird and a bee.
06:28And when the bird and the bee come together,
06:31they make a bird bee.
06:32You don't have to tell me about the bird bee.
06:35I know very well about the bird bee.
06:38So do not patronize me.
06:41We're talking about our child here.
06:44All right, Joseph, you have one more thing to do or say to insult me.
06:53What is going on?
06:55What?
06:55You know what?
06:56This is just another example of how you don't want to get married to me.
06:59Not even married, but that you don't even want to be with me, Joseph.
07:03Does everything with you have to do with marriage?
07:05Everything.
07:05You see a ring.
07:06Let's get married.
07:07You can make breakfast.
07:08Oh, let's get married.
07:09Why?
07:09You think you're pregnant.
07:11Let's get married.
07:11I mean...
07:12You know what?
07:14I didn't mean the last one.
07:15Okay.
07:16No.
07:17No.
07:18I'm sick of this, Joseph.
07:20I'm sick of this, and I'm sick of you.
07:35During last night's Crows game, a wild duck got into the control room and began quacking
07:41over the commentator's broadcast.
07:45It took about five minutes, but eventually, they shut the duck up and got the duck up out
07:51of there.
07:53What do you say, Joseph?
07:58I will say now, for C-Sports, I'm Marcus Williams, and for the ever-tweaking Joseph Jetson, see
08:06ya.
08:08And we're clear.
08:10Joseph.
08:12And that's all time we got for C-Sports Now.
08:15Thank you for tuning in.
08:17See ya.
08:19We are already off the end.
08:21Are we?
08:23What is wrong with you?
08:27I need a coffee.
08:29No.
08:30No, no, no.
08:30Not a good idea.
08:34Man, it's days I wish this show was live.
08:39People need to see what it's like when old heads bring their women problems to work.
08:43Let's pretend like you have a clue.
08:45How do you know this is about a woman?
08:47Joseph tried to call Leslie like ten times before he went on the air.
08:50All he got was her answering machine.
08:52Do-do-do.
08:54Let's see.
08:57Okay.
08:58Joseph.
09:00Come on, man.
09:02Tell me what's wrong.
09:03Huh?
09:05Oh, nothing.
09:06Thanks, buddy.
09:07I'm, uh, I'm good.
09:10Man.
09:12Come on, Joseph.
09:13You should talk about it.
09:16Hmm.
09:17I'm fine.
09:23It's okay, buddy.
09:24You're here for it.
09:25Okay?
09:26We're your boys.
09:27Just let it all out.
09:28Talk to Ty.
09:29Talk to Ty.
09:30Come here.
09:35Hey.
09:41Joseph.
09:43What is wrong with you?
09:45Leslie's told me she's pregnant.
09:48Child support jackpot.
09:53Really?
09:56Congratulations, man.
09:58No, man.
09:59Not congratulations.
10:02I'm not ready to be a father.
10:04You're not.
10:07No.
10:08This came out of nowhere.
10:10She just threw it on me.
10:12Joseph.
10:13Please tell me you pretended to be happy.
10:19You know me.
10:21I told the truth.
10:24I said, listen, babe.
10:28I am not ready to be a father.
10:31Man, you were supposed to pretend that you were happy.
10:36You're supposed to pretend that you're happy even if you're not.
10:40Why?
10:41Because you don't know yet.
10:46You know, man.
10:48Sometimes I think that she's doing all of this just so that I ask her to marry me.
10:54Come on, Joseph.
10:54You know Leslie's not that kind of girl.
10:57You did say girl, right?
11:01Seriously.
11:03I mean, she was supposed to be taking birth control.
11:08What?
11:09You can't blame her.
11:10Why doesn't this work?
11:13Why doesn't anything work?
11:15Why doesn't the birth control work?
11:18Evidently you work.
11:22Guys.
11:23I'm just not ready to be a father.
11:26Man.
11:27Joseph.
11:29You better make up your mind.
11:32Joseph, you're going to lose her.
11:34Marcus is right.
11:36What am I supposed to do, man?
11:38I like my life.
11:40Is that so terrible?
11:41Tell me, honestly.
11:43Look me in the eye and tell me that it's a bad thing to love your life.
11:48Come on, man.
11:50I mean, you and Leslie would be great parents.
11:52Think about it.
11:53Can you think of one woman that would be a better mother to your children?
11:59No.
12:01I mean, she's kind and generous and she's excellent with kids.
12:07See?
12:08See, Joseph, just ride it out, man.
12:10I mean, this may turn into a great thing.
12:13What if it's not, Richard?
12:15You know, I mean, I'm just feeling trapped.
12:22Can't, can't, can't, can't you guys make a...
12:23Yeah, I didn't, yeah.
12:24Woo-ha!
12:33All right, but I think we need to kind of make some adjustments in the...
12:36Hey, Angela.
12:37Hey.
12:37Hey, I need to talk to you.
12:39Okay, what's up?
12:40In private.
12:41Oh, okay.
12:42All right, hey, Jennifer, can you wash her for me?
12:44Mm-hmm.
12:45Okay, thanks.
12:46Hey, go look.
12:47Wash her.
12:51Angela.
12:51What happened?
12:52I'm not going to believe this.
12:55Oh.
12:57Hey.
12:58Jennifer, um, I wanted to talk to Angela.
13:00Oh.
13:01You know we family.
13:03What's up?
13:05Oh.
13:09I'm late.
13:10No, you're not.
13:11Your appointment isn't until tomorrow.
13:15No, I'm, like, late, late.
13:19What?
13:21You mean, like, uh, flow late?
13:26Period, late.
13:28Are you sure?
13:30Yeah, uh...
13:31Oh!
13:33Oh, I'm so happy for you, Hannah, baby.
13:35No, no, no, no, no, no.
13:37This is not good.
13:38No.
13:39No, no.
13:41Okay, all right, calm down.
13:42Now, Jennifer, don't excite her.
13:46How regular are you?
13:48I'm, like, clockwork.
13:50Child, you pregnant.
13:53My stomach hurts.
13:55Hold out of that.
13:56Hold out of that.
13:56Jennifer.
13:57Wait, wait, wait.
13:58Just relax.
13:59There are ways to tell whether or not a woman is pregnant.
14:02Hey, um, you the one of y'all dreaming about fish last night?
14:07I was talking about taking a pregnancy test.
14:11No.
14:11No, no, no.
14:12I can't be pregnant.
14:14I'm not married yet.
14:16I'm not married yet.
14:16Move it to my mama.
14:17Move it to my mama.
14:19Move it to my mama.
14:20Move it to my mama.
14:22Move it to my mama.
14:22Move it to my mama.
14:23Okay, calm down.
14:25I sound like she talking Spanish.
14:28Unbrignito.
14:30All right, Leslie, just relax a sec.
14:32Have you talked to Joseph?
14:35Yes.
14:36Oh.
14:40Well, what did he say?
14:42I mean, all he could talk about was the silence of the lambs.
14:46The lambs are still screaming, Clarice.
14:49And the lamb and the lamb chop.
14:52And did you eat the lamb or did I eat the lamb?
14:54And then I have to give him the birds and the bees lesson and everything.
14:58He was completely mean about it.
15:01I wonder what lamb got to do with this.
15:05You know, I think it's something freaky-dicky.
15:07I saw it on Springer.
15:11I mean, I just, I think if Joseph was maybe a little happier about it,
15:15I would be more calm right now.
15:16But he was just nasty.
15:18I'm sorry.
15:21Guys, what am I going to do?
15:23Hire a nanny?
15:27Well, just wait, wait a second.
15:29Wait a second.
15:30There are several things that can throw a woman's cycle off.
15:33Hey, like menopause.
15:36Chief, I'm not old enough for that.
15:38Hey, with some women, it happens early.
15:41Oh, well, wait a minute.
15:42Have you changed your diet?
15:43Like vitamins or anything like that lately?
15:48Wait.
15:50Okay, I did switch birth control pills.
15:54That may be it.
15:56I'm telling you, birth control pills can throw a woman's cycle off a bit.
16:00Oh, okay.
16:01Yeah, you, we need a pregnancy test.
16:03Okay.
16:03All right, we can get one right at the corner store, and you'll be fine.
16:07As a matter of fact, I'm going to get a few, a variety,
16:10just to make sure that we sure that we sure.
16:13Okay, so Jennifer, we got to get a pregnancy test.
16:16It's okay, babe.
16:17All right.
16:18Go to the bathroom and pee.
16:21Blue, you pregnant, red, you're not.
16:23This one, plus you're pregnant, negative, you're not.
16:26Even though it should be the other way around,
16:28because if it's a plus and it's positive,
16:29it means your pocket's going to be negative for a very, very long time.
16:33And this one right here,
16:34tells me when you're ovulating.
16:36So if the egg doesn't drop,
16:37don't drop them drawers.
16:41Jennifer, this is open.
16:43Oh, girl, it's a three-pack.
16:45There's two left in there.
16:45You good.
16:47Just go pee.
16:49You don't need that.
16:50Go ahead.
16:50Just go pee.
16:52Go, go, go.
16:55I need good.
16:57I need half on that.
17:08Hi, Mommy.
17:11I love you.
17:15What is that for?
17:18I'm for our first child.
17:23I'm not pregnant.
17:28Oh, I'm so sorry.
17:34I was ready.
17:37No, you weren't.
17:38Yes, I was.
17:39No, you weren't.
17:41Ah!
17:48I was, I was ready.
17:52No, you weren't, Joseph.
17:53Look, I need to talk to you.
18:00Okay.
18:05Do you love me?
18:06Yes.
18:08What?
18:08See, that was way too quick.
18:10Are you kidding me?
18:12Why would you say it that fast?
18:14Joseph, I mean, like, do you love me?
18:16Do you, do you really love me?
18:17Like, can you, can you just not do without me?
18:20No.
18:26Yes.
18:30That was way too long.
18:33Are you kidding me?
18:34It should just be in just enough time, Joseph.
18:37Like, you either say it too quick or you take too long.
18:39It's just enough time just to think about it.
18:42Then you say yes.
18:43See, this is a red flag.
18:45I've been getting too many red flags in this relationship, Joseph.
18:48And I don't like it.
18:51Leslie, you are talking about our child.
18:54You cannot just throw something like that on me and expect me to just be okay.
19:01It's our child.
19:03Yes.
19:04Exactly.
19:05It would be our child.
19:07Which means we would have to be in each other's lives forever.
19:11And I'm not sure that you want that.
19:14I do, sweetie.
19:16I do.
19:18See?
19:19That was way too quick.
19:21That was too quick.
19:22You don't get it.
19:23You really don't get it.
19:26I'm just going to bed.
19:45Wake up, baby.
19:46What?
19:49Will you marry me?
19:52Just stop it.
19:54No.
19:54Just stop.
19:55Will you marry me?
19:58Stop it.
19:59Not again.
20:00Just stop.
20:04Babe, I'm serious.
20:08Will you marry me?
20:11Joseph, you don't want to get married.
20:14Baby, I do.
20:19Okay, well, where's the ring?
20:23Okay.
20:24Joseph, you came in here with a bear and no ring?
20:28Have you lost your mind?
20:30Are you kidding me?
20:32Get your ass out of here.
20:50Hey, don't go anywhere.
20:51Another brand new, for better or worse, starts right now on TBS.
20:55I'm not going to be a bear.
20:55I'm not going to be a bear.