- 2 days ago
Taskmaster Season 21 Episode 7
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:02Don't look away
00:16I might just do this all day
00:33Hello! Hello! Welcome to Taskmaster, a show that seeks to take a reputation and reimagine it.
00:42Cows are cows, aren't they? But imagine a cow being forced to tap dance.
00:46What is it then? It's not a cow, that's for sure.
00:48So, let us open the shed and chase them into the field.
00:52The farmer has plans for Daisy and her friends
00:55and you'll never drink a glass of milk in the same way again.
01:00My God, it's hard to keep writing these intros.
01:04Regardless...
01:07Please welcome back, Amy Glendale!
01:10CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:12Armando Iannucci!
01:14CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:16Joanna Payne!
01:17CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:18Joel Donnett!
01:19CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:21And Kamel Nanjani!
01:22CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:25And next to me, a man who says we should go back to a more simple time
01:29when children had manners.
01:30There was a bobby on every street
01:32and women were, let's just say,
01:34a little more hussute downstairs.
01:38LAUGHTER
01:38His words, I don't know what he meant either.
01:40It's Little Ellen's head!
01:43CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:47Sorry, I don't want to make eye contact with anyone in the audience.
01:49OK, good.
01:50Hello, Greg.
01:51What's the warm-up chat?
01:52Well, I want to say hello to you, Greg,
01:54and I want to say hello to all my people watching at home.
01:56I see you, and you see me, and you like puzzles.
01:59So, if you're one of my people,
02:02I'm going to show you a puzzle, press pause,
02:04and then press unpause when you've solved it.
02:06Here we go.
02:06Good luck.
02:07Not that one.
02:09LAUGHTER
02:13There we go, that's my bit done, Greg.
02:16Oh, God.
02:16Yeah?
02:18Let's crack on with the prize task.
02:21Get this.
02:22They've all brought in the best bumpy thing.
02:25Ooh.
02:26Ooh.
02:27This...
02:27This is...
02:28This is a bumpy...
02:29It's a bumpy thing.
02:31It doesn't matter.
02:32Um...
02:32But what bumpy thing have they brought in?
02:34He's got a P under his butt.
02:36A bumpy thing.
02:37Well, I'm sure Greg will score this really quickly and fairly
02:40with five points for the best bumpy thing,
02:42so go on then, Greg.
02:43Go for it, mate.
02:44LAUGHTER
02:45Amy, hello.
02:46Hello, hello.
02:47You all right?
02:48You got some bumpy stuff?
02:49Yeah.
02:49Can I just ask what her suit means?
02:52Harry!
02:53Harry, yeah.
02:54OK, that's all right.
02:55Yeah.
02:55What did you think it might have meant?
02:59More...
03:00I'm trying to think of a better word for open.
03:08Good.
03:09But Harry's fine, that's good.
03:10You thought that Alex wanted ladies to be a little more dilated?
03:14LAUGHTER
03:16LAUGHTER
03:17Yeah.
03:21Right, Amy, tell me about your bumpy thing.
03:23I have brought...
03:25LAUGHTER
03:29It just didn't jump well from the last one.
03:32LAUGHTER
03:35I have brought in a plane ticket from London to Venice.
03:41Yes, she has.
03:43Yeah.
03:43Notoriously turbulent flight route.
03:45Here's the ticket.
03:46And if you fly specifically in March, that's when it's most turbulent,
03:51but never too turbulent where it's frightening, it's just a little...
03:56LAUGHTER
03:56LAUGHTER
03:57Unfortunately, it's one way, so you will stay in Venice,
04:00because I'm not buying you a return as well.
04:03LAUGHTER
04:04I'm genuinely a bit flawed.
04:05I didn't expect you to bring a good thing in.
04:07Well done.
04:08LAUGHTER
04:09Armando, you can take us down, surely.
04:11I'll give a go, but I think you'll be surprised.
04:14All right.
04:14Let's go for something that's already very good,
04:16but maybe not accessible to everyone,
04:19and make it even better by making it bumpy.
04:21It's a braille menu to an Indian restaurant.
04:25Wow.
04:25Here we go.
04:26A braille curry menu.
04:28There it is.
04:28There we go.
04:29And, of course, the great thing is if I score that badly,
04:32I will alienate the visually impaired community.
04:35Exactly.
04:36Because it may not be funny, but it's very clever.
04:40LAUGHTER
04:41Hello, Joanna.
04:42Hello.
04:43I've brought in...
04:44LAUGHTER
04:45..Mr Bump.
04:47Here is Joanna's Mr Bump.
04:49LAUGHTER
04:52Now, I made Mr Bump when I was about 16 in school
04:56for an art project.
04:57Yes!
04:58Wow.
05:00He's on a glass bottle, which I've painted,
05:03and he's made with a papier-mâché, very bumpy head.
05:07And my parents have kept him in the shed
05:09at the bottom of their garden ever since I made him.
05:12It was only recently that I realised how awful that is,
05:15because they're always like,
05:17oh, yeah, we've got him on the shelf in the shed,
05:19and oh, look, he's still there,
05:20and he's never, ever been in the house.
05:24LAUGHTER
05:24If you presented that to your parents when you were 16,
05:27I think you should count yourself lucky
05:28that you weren't sent to a boarding school.
05:31LAUGHTER
05:31Hi, Joel.
05:32Hello.
05:33I brought in a picture of my acne-ridden teenage face.
05:38Oh, no.
05:39Oh!
05:40And if you zoom in to the forehead...
05:43Is that braille?
05:44That's braille.
05:45LAUGHTER
05:46I've made the acne braille,
05:48and it says,
05:49don't worry, things get easier.
05:52Oh!
05:53So, try scoring that badly.
05:55LAUGHTER
05:56Very good.
05:57Kamel.
05:58Hi.
05:58Hi there.
05:59What bumpy thing have you brought us?
06:01So, what's a really great bumpy thing to ride?
06:07A roller coaster.
06:09So, this, I brought in the original plans for the Cyclone.
06:13It was made in 1927.
06:16So, you see, that's plans for that,
06:19and then there's some...
06:20It says, look at the bottom left corner.
06:22Do you want us to look at the bottom left?
06:24You seem lovely.
06:25Look at number 12.
06:26Number 12?
06:27Go to number 12.
06:28Number 12's there.
06:28You have herpes.
06:30LAUGHTER
06:32See, top right.
06:33Right, OK, there we go.
06:34Just kidding, you don't have herpes.
06:36That's you, right, OK.
06:37Look under the coaster.
06:38Under the coaster.
06:39Let's go there.
06:39Yep, there we go.
06:40It's actually not a big deal to have herpes.
06:42You shouldn't stigmatise.
06:44Turn this over.
06:45Turn it over.
06:46That was a bumpy ride!
06:48It was a bumpy ride!
06:50APPLAUSE
06:54Must be a relief for you as well.
06:56LAUGHTER
07:00So it's a rollercoaster and an emotional rollercoaster.
07:04I got it.
07:06A lot of these are very sensible.
07:08Yeah.
07:09Joanna's little project.
07:10Oh, thank God.
07:11Right, Joanna, one point.
07:13LAUGHTER
07:15What's next?
07:16I don't know why, the flight to Venice.
07:18No!
07:19Yeah, you shouldn't be so tight.
07:20If you'd done a return flight, I'd have been in.
07:22It was really expensive!
07:25I'm going to speculate to accumulate.
07:27Two points.
07:27Two points.
07:28Well done, Amy.
07:29Shit!
07:31Armando.
07:32OK.
07:32I think he'd forgotten the prize and he'd had a curry the night before.
07:35LAUGHTER
07:36And he brought that in.
07:37Three points.
07:38OK.
07:38Three to Armando.
07:39I actually found your braille thing absolutely adorable.
07:42I like the idea of you reassuring your teenage self.
07:45It's very sweet.
07:46But that?
07:47Aw, I loved all that.
07:48Aw.
07:49Five points to Kamel Nojani's emotional rollercoaster.
07:52CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
07:54What's best?
07:55Good news, everyone, because this task is a bit of a turn-on.
07:59Ooh!
08:11MUSIC PLAYS
08:12Hello, Alex.
08:14Joel Patrick Domit.
08:15Oh, I love the full name.
08:17How do you feel about the table?
08:18The table?
08:19The table itself?
08:20Hmm.
08:22It's all right.
08:24Solid.
08:25Four grand.
08:26LAUGHTER
08:28Then...
08:28I'd maybe...
08:30expect a bit more.
08:32But I don't know what the task is.
08:33Maybe the table's going to come to life and dance
08:35and I have to do the same dance moves as the table.
08:38LAUGHTER
08:38LED party lights.
08:40We know how to party in the UK.
08:42Yeah, with lights.
08:43Two of them.
08:44Big ones.
08:46Those aren't that big.
08:47You should see American lights.
08:49LAUGHTER
08:50Shall I open this bad boy?
08:51Yes, please.
08:53JPD.
08:57Turn on the telly!
08:58You may not touch the telly.
09:01Fewest button presses wins.
09:03Your time starts now.
09:05That's the telly.
09:07That's the telly.
09:08Just one telly?
09:09Mm-hm.
09:10So I'll just turn on the telly, right?
09:12Yes, please.
09:12Yeah, if you wouldn't mind.
09:14But what's...
09:14What's your game here?
09:17What are you up to, Holmes?
09:19APPLAUSE
09:24I've really enjoyed some specials lately.
09:26Mmm.
09:27Shall we see some stuff?
09:28OK, well, Amy and Joanna are first up to take control.
09:33Fewest button presses.
09:35OK, well, I want to go straight in for these, but it's obviously going to be wrong.
09:38Turn on the telly.
09:41We're going blue, are we?
09:42We're going blue.
09:44Oh, my God!
09:55OK.
09:56Can you just turn it off as well, thank you.
09:57That's two button presses.
09:59OK, right, OK.
10:00I'm going to go in and try all of them, because it's going to turn something on.
10:04That's not turning anything on.
10:06Oh, and I keep pressing it, don't I?
10:09No.
10:10Not that one.
10:11Oh.
10:13It's not red.
10:14Oh!
10:14Oh, that's nice, though.
10:16Right, I'm going to press them all.
10:18Right.
10:19Is that an egg?
10:21Can you turn it off?
10:27I've got two batteries and lint.
10:34That's the printer.
10:37Oh, wow!
10:39You must now also find and eat a donut before you finish the task.
10:43Is this a donut?
10:43It was.
10:44It was!
10:45You must now also find and eat a donut before you finish the task.
10:49Well, it was probably this, wasn't it?
10:51It was that, yeah.
10:52I'm going pink.
10:53Pink.
10:54It just did something.
10:56Oh!
10:57Oh, my God.
10:58Batteries in a duck.
10:59I think you pressed all the buttons there.
11:00Do you remember what they all did?
11:02Oh, no.
11:05I'm going to do this one again.
11:08It's not doing anything.
11:09I forgot.
11:10It's absolutely ridiculous.
11:13Gold!
11:14Why can't I just look?
11:15I don't need to...
11:16Oh!
11:17Oh!
11:18Oh!
11:18I'm going to just check this from the beginning.
11:23I didn't.
11:23I don't know.
11:25I...
11:27Oh!
11:28Oh!
11:28Oh, my God!
11:29Did he turn it off?
11:30Turn these on.
11:33Well done.
11:34You say, well done.
11:36Yeah, I shouldn't have said, well done.
11:37Right.
11:38I mean, the technique was actually the same.
11:41No lateral thinking, just keep pressing buttons.
11:44You both noticed the golden one didn't do anything,
11:47but you didn't think there might be a clue.
11:48No.
11:49No, I thought it was broken.
11:50I thought it was just bad tasking.
11:55No, there's bad tasking in the air today.
12:00Joanna pressed 13 buttons in total.
12:03Amy, 21 buttons.
12:05It was not good.
12:07Oh.
12:08Right.
12:08You both had the nice doughnut, didn't you?
12:10Yes, that was good.
12:12I would have it whizzed up again.
12:14Yeah.
12:14Yeah, genuinely, it's really nice.
12:17Do you guys call blending whizzed up?
12:19Yeah, always.
12:20Do you really call it?
12:21Yeah, yeah.
12:22They're called whizz-up machines over here.
12:26Elevators are lifts, blenders are whizz-up machines.
12:29It's confusing over here.
12:31I'll buy your coffee afterwards at the bubble bubble shop.
12:37We must pause for a break and we're going to stretch our legs a little bit.
12:41I'm going to give Alex a little walk.
12:43I like a little walk.
12:44Come on, you.
12:45Oh, yes.
12:47Come on.
12:58Welcome back.
13:02Well, well, well, well.
13:03You really did need to go.
13:08Yes
13:08Had a lot of wisdom don't I'll take it and that's the funniest thing the show's ever done
13:27Like that you picked it up as well wait, why did you pick it up this time your owner?
13:35Hello
13:37It's part two and our five adult comedians are struggling to switch on the telly yes
13:42Oh, which button is it? Which controller? Where's it gone? Where are the batteries? What's happening? Help me Alex? They're
13:48pathetic and now
13:51It's time for Joel Mando Domitucci
14:03Oh
14:03You thinking the printer might operate the telly yeah, it made some noises. Yeah, you did just press two buttons.
14:07Yeah, so that counts as your first two button
14:18Oh
14:18Right well that didn't work now you've turned on the bubble and smoke machine
14:21No, I forget what were the other ones I did. Oh, you've turned the bubble machine again. Is it okay?
14:25Oh, right
14:27Yeah, gold
14:29All right, what happened with the gold one?
14:32Don't know what happened with the gold one. What happened with the gold one? I'm not touching again
14:36It's still there. Hello, Joel. You're very much in my area now
14:41Can you press the button? No, it goes behind the book. It goes behind there. Right
14:50You must now also find and eat a doughnut
14:54Right if I turn that on
14:57You think turning the blender on might turn the telly on? Well, not beyond the bounds of possibility
15:04It's a mouth
15:06What is that?
15:09Is that yours? I was looking for that
15:13Just be slightly careful with the wires. Yeah, you'd be slightly careful with your attitude, right?
15:20Well, they're on now
15:25I knew the printer was something to do with this you must now also find and eat a doughnut
15:31Ah, so pink is it? Okay
15:35Ah
15:37Obviously this will go nowhere. I found a duck more fluff two batteries. Ah
15:44Found the doughnut like really quick
15:50Yeah, I have glued them shut. Yes you have, haven't you?
15:56Ah
15:58Here we go, right
16:00Fuck it now
16:08Lovely
16:09Here we go. It's a smoke machine
16:29I put an extra layer. I'm putting an extra door
16:3612 seconds
16:45It's a good thing
16:49It's a good thing
16:50Two batteries
16:52I reckon that's this one
17:03Yeah!
17:04There we go, you figured it out
17:06Well done
17:09I'm just enchanted watching Joel do anything really because he throws himself into it with such glee and then every
17:16now and again
17:17I just go, oh my god, he's 40
17:22Mad, isn't it? I pay a mortgage
17:26A hidden compartment pops open
17:28No, I'm into case
17:29Well, I don't imagine this will lead us anyway
17:32Deserving energy
17:33Lovely
17:34The difference between us is so fantastic
17:36I'm like a secret part
17:38I'm like, oh, a secret compartment
17:39This is one
17:41There's one
17:41There's one to be others
17:45There's one to be others
17:46Yes, well look, Armando was the slowest
17:47But it wasn't about speed
17:49If this is very much a tortoise and hare situation
17:51He only pressed nine buttons
17:52Ooh
17:53Which is one fewer than you, Joel
17:55Ten presses
17:56Still good
17:57It's not bad for an excitable child
18:00Yes
18:01Finally, in 2018
18:02He was one of Time Magazine's
18:04100 most influential people in the world
18:06And now, finally, he just might prove why
18:09It's Kamal
18:14These are glued shut
18:19I haven't pressed a button yet
18:20No
18:22This one's empty, though
18:23Mmm
18:29Pressing the green one
18:36That's pretty cool
18:38Press it again if you really enjoyed it
18:40I did really enjoy it
18:41But I'm not going to press it again
18:42Until I've turned the TV on
18:43Yeah
18:46Is it a mistake that this one doesn't have batteries?
18:49We don't make mis-
18:50We don't make mistakes
18:51That was a mistake
18:52You're saying we don't make mistakes
18:53You made a mistake
18:54We sometimes-
18:54We rarely make mistakes
18:55We don't make mistakes
19:01Don't look away
19:09There's batteries in there
19:21There's batteries in there
19:22That was impressive
19:22Thank you
19:33Thank you
19:34That's how it's done
19:35I remember that being, like, my best task by far
19:39I love that you just use sheer fucking...force
19:43Like, yeah! You are a real-life superhero.
19:47It's so good to be close to you.
19:51So great.
19:53So, yeah, it was very impressive.
19:56However... Oh, no!
19:59Uh-oh. I do need to show you something else.
20:01The rules did say... Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!
20:06You may not touch the TV.
20:08No ifs, no buts, right? Uh-oh.
20:13So many wires, guys.
20:15OK.
20:18Butt touch.
20:20It was you, Joel.
20:21You were so excited about that video, too.
20:24I thought it was going to tear you apart,
20:26but it turned out it just tore apart a person who didn't tear it apart.
20:32Is that touching?
20:33What do you mean? Is it touching?
20:35Is it touching?
20:36Am I not touching someone if I touch them with my bum?
20:39Is that what you're asking?
20:39Well...
20:40Because if that's the case, it's party time.
20:42No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
20:45Are we disqualifying, Joel?
20:47I still found him quite enchanting,
20:49so I will allow him, regardless of how many times he pressed it,
20:52to have one point.
20:54So he goes to the bottom.
20:55Amy and Joanna go up one point.
20:57Correct.
20:57Ooh.
20:58Goes to the bottom.
20:59That's ironic.
21:00LAUGHTER
21:04In which case, Amy, you get two points.
21:0723 presses.
21:08Joanna, three points.
21:09Armando, four points.
21:10But the winner and five points to Kamel Nanjiani.
21:14CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
21:17Right.
21:18Maybe see the scores.
21:19Yes.
21:19Before that, I'm going to tell you the series scores,
21:21because they're getting tight.
21:23Armando, you're at the bottom with 91,
21:25but Joel's just above you on 93.
21:28Then, very excitingly,
21:29Amy and Kamel are both on 105.
21:32Kamel's finally in the top two,
21:34and Joanna's still on top with 106 points.
21:36CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
21:38Lovely.
21:42And in this episode, Kamel's got a very strong 10 points maximum
21:46in first place.
21:47Wow.
21:48CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
21:49Yep.
21:50That is one sweet solo effort,
21:54so I feel like we should see a team task, please.
21:56Sure thing, Greg.
21:57Here's a task right here for you.
21:59I do hope you like it.
22:01Achoo!
22:02Bless me.
22:03OK, let's go.
22:17Hello.
22:18Oh, hiya.
22:19Joanna and Armando.
22:21Yes.
22:21Hello.
22:22Who wants to read it?
22:23You read this one.
22:24You'll read this one.
22:25He's so good at reading lines.
22:26I know.
22:27It's so exciting.
22:28Go.
22:29Go.
22:30Go.
22:30There we go.
22:32Have serious fun in the lab without smiling.
22:35Oh.
22:37One of you must enter on the first whistle,
22:40the other on the second.
22:42You must each secretly bring something fun with you,
22:45and you must all leave as soon as the time is up.
22:48You have two minutes in the lab,
22:50and the first person must enter the lab in five minutes from now.
22:55So we can't smile at all, and we've got to have fun.
22:58You guys, when I read you can't smile,
23:01both of you had the biggest grids on your face.
23:04Let's split up now.
23:05So I will commit to getting something fun from not this room.
23:07Let's go.
23:08Bring this with us.
23:09Find a fun thing.
23:11I'm not going to ever smile again.
23:13I'm going to be shit at this.
23:15LAUGHTER
23:21Hi, Lo.
23:23It's Amusing Armando,
23:24and this is the Really Good Fun Show.
23:33Shall we meet Jolly Joanna?
23:35Here's Jolly Joanna.
23:36We're having fun, aren't we?
23:37We're having lots of fun.
23:38I find playing and eating sweets really, really good fun.
23:44Oh, that's good fun.
23:46Oh, no.
23:47Can you do that?
23:49Do you know how to...?
23:49Hey, guys.
23:53Oh, they're in, they're in.
23:54Yeah, they're in.
23:55Ooh, there's one.
23:56Oh, that was fun.
23:59That was so much fun.
24:00That's fun, isn't it?
24:02Oh!
24:05Whoa!
24:06That's fun.
24:08Can I have a go on your horn if you want to go on my cell phone?
24:11Yeah, sure.
24:12We're going to get a go.
24:13I've got to leave.
24:14Thanks, Alec.
24:23Hiya!
24:23Ooh.
24:24Hello.
24:24Oh, God.
24:27Please let us not have to sing.
24:28Shall I go in?
24:29Yeah.
24:29Go in.
24:30Completely revoice this footage to create a dramatic short film.
24:35A dramatic short film.
24:37Oh, this is what that...
24:38This is the hula hoop thing and the face.
24:42Oh!
24:42Well, this could be a dramatic film very easily.
24:45You must not revoice yourself.
24:48Most dramatic and convincing short film wins.
24:51You have 15 minutes.
24:52Your time starts now.
24:54When there's three people.
24:55Yeah.
24:56Can everyone play someone else?
24:57Yes.
24:58Mathematically.
24:59Does that work?
25:00Yes.
25:00Yes.
25:01Yes.
25:01And just in my head, I was like, well, two people are going to play each other and then there's
25:04one person has to be themselves.
25:11How would you suggest that I do your voice?
25:13Yes.
25:13I mean, just try and do like a Pakistani guy.
25:16What could go wrong?
25:17So what would...
25:18How would that go?
25:19Well, now you've given me...
25:21You've given me the go-ahead.
25:22Yes, I've given you the go-ahead.
25:24Is that...?
25:24We might not show him giving you the go-ahead.
25:29In fact, I insist that you don't.
25:31Yeah.
25:32You're not like alien.
25:33If we were going to make it dramatic, aren't we?
25:34Yeah, it could be.
25:34We have to make it dramatic.
25:35A monster.
25:36What kind of voice do I do for you?
25:38I'm Hull.
25:39Hull?
25:39Do you want to try it?
25:40U-la-roop.
25:41U-la-roop.
25:42OK.
25:44Yeah, a lot.
25:45A lot happened.
25:48Wow.
25:49Exciting on lots of levels.
25:51I mean, I wonder who will face the biggest backlash.
25:54Could it be Kamel from the people of Hull?
25:57Or might Joel get more problems with all of Pakistan?
26:04Famously laid-back people.
26:10I can't tell whether I'm going to be sort of counselled for misplaced accent
26:14or how stupid I am with numbers.
26:19Ah, yeah, that was incredible, yeah.
26:22Well, Amy must be thrilled because it's taken a lot of heat
26:25off the fact that she can only do one Hull-a-hoop.
26:30Shall we see some short films forward slash hate crimes?
26:34Yeah!
26:37Yeah, why not?
26:38And I think let's start off with a team of three.
26:40Let's see how they got on.
26:45I'm looking for me husband.
26:51Is that for me husband?
26:54U-la-roop or die.
26:59Oh, OK, me husband's going to die.
27:02Hey, wife.
27:06This guy is really scaring me.
27:08Room for little ones!
27:11Goddamn this guy.
27:14What, should we save your life?
27:15Oh, oh, oh, oh!
27:18I'll show you what to do.
27:31That's like some of the noises we make on our birthdays.
27:36Hey, look at this, look at this.
27:38Shiny things, shiny things.
27:39Distracting, I'm distracting him.
27:40Suit him with the gun.
27:42Maybe I'll get you with this gun that I've got in.
27:45No, no.
27:45It's a fucking...
27:47You didn't bring your gun.
27:48You didn't bring your gun.
27:50Oh, I'll go get me gun.
27:53You two are gonna die.
27:54I'm gonna be back.
27:55You two are gonna die.
27:57That's your time up.
27:58Lovely.
27:59Better than many movies I've seen.
28:01And bin.
28:08I don't know what the fuck was going on.
28:13It's the joy of art, isn't it?
28:14It's open to interpretation.
28:16It's subjective.
28:17Yeah.
28:18And fortunately for you, I thought it was shit.
28:21OK, that's it.
28:22We're at the halfway point.
28:24Will you go all the way with me?
28:25Will you?
28:26Of course you will.
28:27How can you resist?
28:28And I've not forgotten you.
28:29You'll keep.
28:31Oh, yes.
28:32He's saving you till last.
28:33Shut up!
28:45Welcome back.
28:46Welcome back to the third part of the show,
28:48and there is a seriously fun task involving lip-syncing.
28:51Yes, the current task involves them revoicing their own footage
28:55from earlier, but they're not allowed to revoice themselves.
28:57Most dramatic and convincing short film wins.
29:00Now, for the team of two's turn, it's Joanna and Armando.
29:04Hello.
29:06I have been called here today because I hear that there might be
29:10some alien force in this building.
29:12What is this here?
29:13There's a banana.
29:16What are you saying?
29:18You're telling me about the alien and alien.
29:21I've been impregnated by a banana alien.
29:23It might rust out.
29:25Oh, my God.
29:26Oh, my.
29:29Oh, no, I can't believe this.
29:31I know.
29:32What have you got inside you?
29:33There look like millions of them.
29:36I've got the syringe.
29:37I have heard from other people.
29:39It is the only way to deal with aliens.
29:42I want to help you, but the alien in my head is telling me
29:46to put it in my mouth.
29:48Oh, my God.
29:49Oh, that went in.
29:50That's horrible.
29:51The alien is making me inject your head now.
29:54Whatever you do, don't let any aliens come out of your mouth.
29:58Oh, this is the most dramatic thing ever filmed.
30:03Oh.
30:04What's this?
30:05I want to eat these.
30:07The alien is making me pick up an envelope.
30:09It says, whatever you do, don't muck about with the stuff
30:12in that suitcase.
30:13Otherwise, the world will blow up.
30:15But I can't help myself.
30:16It's all pretty colors.
30:17Oh, no, you've gone and done it.
30:20I can't help it.
30:21They're making me do it.
30:23Everybody, get out.
30:24Humanity's been taken over by aliens.
30:25We've got to go!
30:26Yes!
30:34Right, well, I'm going to say this off the bat.
30:36I do not like Joanna's voice coming out of Armando's mouth.
30:40LAUGHTER
30:42But it was a strong narrative.
30:44And it was dramatic.
30:46It's got to make you three feel bad about your loads of shit.
30:49LAUGHTER
30:50I thought you had clearly defined characters.
30:52A twist at the end.
30:54A comment on the fragility of the human condition.
30:57Yeah, and what about theirs?
31:00LAUGHTER
31:05What are you giving to people, Greg?
31:07Well, I'm going to give the team of two five points for a beautiful film.
31:12LAUGHTER
31:14What shall I give the other three?
31:17Do you feel good?
31:18Two for the team of three and five to the team of two!
31:21APPLAUSE
31:22Can we squeeze out another touch?
31:25Of course we can, Greg.
31:27And bless your little cotton socks.
31:44Oh!
31:46Oh, my gosh!
31:47PHONE RINGS
31:51Hey, me!
31:58It's a...
32:00present of socks.
32:02I guess so.
32:03Yeah.
32:05This is fantastic.
32:07How do you arrange yours?
32:08Nothing as extravagant and as beautiful as this.
32:11This is how Greg does it.
32:13OK.
32:14Make the most socks stand up.
32:18You have 15 minutes.
32:19Your time starts now.
32:22What we...
32:23What?
32:23And we're off.
32:24Stand up.
32:25What...
32:26What...
32:27What does that entail?
32:28Well, they're lying down at the moment.
32:30Individually, or...?
32:31Well, plenty of time.
32:32However you want to interpret it, really.
32:33Yeah, yeah, yeah.
32:34Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
32:36What I really want to do is just spend all my time
32:39making the pairs right.
32:41Yeah.
32:42APPLAUSE
32:47Now, with a great disrespect,
32:49I thought that Joel might struggle with this concept,
32:51but I didn't think it would baffle you.
32:54Yeah.
32:54And I said to Alex during it,
32:56you sort of sound like a remix in it.
32:59Yeah.
32:59She did, yeah.
33:00Like this.
33:01I've got the remix.
33:01What we...
33:02What...
33:03What...
33:03What...
33:04What does that entail?
33:10Wow!
33:13Armando was a bit of a remix as well, wasn't he?
33:15Slightly.
33:15Yeah, yeah, yeah.
33:16Yeah.
33:17Yeah.
33:17Yeah.
33:18Yeah.
33:20We should collaborate.
33:22Yeah.
33:22Yeah.
33:23What?
33:24What?
33:25What?
33:25What?
33:27We're all at the O2 next summer.
33:32Right.
33:32I want to see some people make socks stand-up.
33:35I know you do.
33:36I know you do.
33:36And it's good news for fans of Amy and Joel,
33:38because now we're going to see Amy and Joel.
33:42What classifies a standing up?
33:44We'll do that.
33:45Yeah, maybe.
33:46Maybe?
33:50Is that standing up?
33:52Sort of floaty.
33:53I don't know what it's doing.
33:54It might be standing up.
33:55Looks like there's someone on the other side of the hedge.
33:57OK.
33:58Well, OK.
33:59We're absolutely off to a cracking start.
34:02This is my task.
34:03Yeah, they're standing up, I think.
34:04Yeah?
34:04Yeah.
34:05You think?
34:06Oh, I need you to be more confident than that.
34:17That is sad.
34:18That went straight on.
34:19That is sad.
34:25Oh, I just...
34:27Oh, I just made a good one.
34:38What if I got all of these and told a joke,
34:45so they're doing stand-up?
34:47Do you want a microphone?
34:49Is this good?
34:51Pretty weird.
34:52Yeah, OK.
34:53What did the shoe say to the loud sock?
35:01I don't know.
35:02Put a sock in it.
35:03Oh, dear.
35:05I just made the...
35:06Oh, that's good.
35:07I've got to finish this fence, man.
35:08One and a half minutes.
35:08I've got to finish this fence.
35:11They're just standing up, are they?
35:13Yes.
35:17What an ending.
35:18I believe in rights for everyone.
35:21Stamps standing up for...
35:22People?
35:24Everyone?
35:25Oh.
35:26Oh.
35:27Not every...
35:27No, good...
35:28It's too late now.
35:29Don't put that on, Telly.
35:32There's a lot left.
35:34Thanks, Joel.
35:35See you later.
35:37Yeah.
35:38There were a lot left.
35:40Really good, though.
35:41I really love the ambition of sock stand-up.
35:44You want to ride with that?
35:45Because I'm going to allow it.
35:46You're allowing it.
35:47Great.
35:48It was really great.
35:49This is the happiest I've seen you for the whole shirt.
35:53Man, it was so fun.
35:54But just putting things on things.
35:56Yeah.
35:58Was the one sock in particular that pleased you the most?
36:00Because there was one that you popped on that pleased me the most.
36:03Mmm.
36:03The top of the cactus.
36:05Cactus!
36:05Oh, my God.
36:06Oh, it slipped on a treat, didn't it?
36:09My favourite one was the one that was just poking out of the hedge.
36:14Oh, yeah.
36:15Where it looked like a very short but very well-endowed man was just stood.
36:20Yeah.
36:20Because it was just coming out at just a lovely angle.
36:23And it was just a sort of soft lob.
36:25Yeah.
36:27The hedge man wasn't fully ready for it.
36:31If a soft lob counts as standing up, then there's hope for many of us.
36:39I guess I should find out, are we counting the soft lob?
36:43Well, soft lob is definitely standing.
36:48There were 472 socks there in total.
36:52Amy got 280 of those socks out.
36:55Oh!
36:56Joel, 91, including the lob.
36:58Oh!
36:59Amy, well in front of this stage.
37:01Shall we move on?
37:02Yeah, why not?
37:03And now for a man who is the same age as Brad Pitt.
37:06It's Armando Enoch.
37:09Got to start with this.
37:10OK.
37:14How much time is left?
37:15Plenty of time.
37:1612 minutes and 45 seconds.
37:18Christ!
37:20I'm sort of thinking, given the numbers involved here, we need to go at scale.
37:27This will do it.
37:28Hang on.
37:29There we go.
37:31Here we go.
37:34Well, lovely to meet you.
37:37What do you think of my standing up socks?
37:41What do you think of those?
37:42Pardon?
37:44Not, they wouldn't work for you.
37:46Your feet are webbed, aren't they?
37:48Yeah.
37:49OK.
37:50I mean, to be honest, I've run out of small talk.
37:52There's only so many things you can say to a duck on a chair.
37:55That's your time up, Armando.
37:57Thank you very much.
37:58Right.
37:59Some tea, I think.
38:06Very good.
38:08Very good.
38:10I was already thrilled before the walk.
38:13That's the sort of lateral thinking and creativity that you can come up with
38:17if you're not troubled by full lobs.
38:22Soon, someone will win a one-way flight to Venice
38:25and will be able to say,
38:27I was deported by Amy Gladhill.
38:31We'll see you in a minute.
38:41Yes, yes, it's the final part of the show
38:44and there's a task that is in need of completing.
38:47Thumbs up emoji.
38:48Yes, they just had to make the most socks stand up.
38:51They've all had a go at it.
38:53Well, Joanna and Kamel haven't, but they will.
38:55Right now!
38:57I'm putting them on myself.
38:59That's a good idea.
39:00OK, I'm going to do as many as I can.
39:02Yes.
39:02That is three.
39:03Would you say this sock is standing up?
39:06I mean, I don't know.
39:12Whoo!
39:13This is what a rake is made for.
39:15This is perfect.
39:17This is horrible.
39:18I don't like this.
39:18Right.
39:19Oh, God.
39:20I'm going to have to start putting some on the other foot.
39:22OK, then.
39:22It's starting to hurt a bit.
39:24Is it?
39:30If you're kind of maniacal, I don't know why.
39:38I can get a load on here, because his legs are only thin.
39:41That's a good ball.
39:42Right, OK.
39:43Will you bring me the donkey?
39:44I'd love to, yeah.
39:45Because I don't think I can walk.
39:49Let's see what this is like.
39:51I'm just going to give the donkey a go.
39:55Oh, look at that.
39:57Right.
39:57Two minutes, ten seconds.
40:01I think I might start on my arm.
40:03Yeah.
40:04Kamel, there's one minute left.
40:11Wow, that is a triumphant pose, Joe.
40:19Standing up?
40:20Yeah, isn't it?
40:21Yeah.
40:21Everything's standing up.
40:28Good.
40:30How many socks did she make to stand up?
40:32Well, remember, with the soft lob, Joel got 91.
40:35Joanna managed to get 95.
40:38Oh!
40:40Not bad.
40:41Mm-hm.
40:41Now.
40:42Now.
40:43Kamel.
40:44Well, all I wrote down was,
40:46why is Kamel laughing like a cartoon buddy while tidying up?
40:52I think for us the laughter came when you struck upon the idea of stuffing a boiler suit full of
40:57socks.
40:58It's like a man that's standing up.
40:59Yeah, I like the final image of the man standing up.
41:02Obviously, we'll only be allowing the socks that...
41:04Wait, what...
41:05But...
41:05Wait, what do you mean?
41:07What do you mean?
41:08What?
41:09What?
41:11What?
41:11What?
41:12What?
41:13What?
41:13What?
41:18Um...
41:19Just checking.
41:19Are we counting all the ones in the boiler suits?
41:21Yeah.
41:21All the ones in the bellies?
41:22I think I am going to allow those.
41:23LAUGHTER
41:24OK.
41:25In which case, I can tell you some points.
41:27Joel, one point.
41:28Only 91 socks.
41:29Two points to Joanna with 95.
41:31Amy got 280 socks.
41:32Three points.
41:33Kamel, there were 375 socks standing up in that boiler suit and the boots.
41:37But the winner, with 472 socks, five points, is Armando Iannucci!
41:44Very good.
41:45Shall we have a quick look at the scores?
41:46Yes, it means those sock guys are in first and second place.
41:49Kamel's on 16 points, but Armando is leading the episode with 17 points.
41:52CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
41:55Again, Armando.
41:56Strong.
41:57Wow.
41:58Wow.
41:59All right, everyone, please make your way to the stage for the final task of the show!
42:02CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
42:09Hi there, you hunk.
42:10Oh, me?
42:13Who will be reading the task?
42:15Joanna Page.
42:15Joanna Page.
42:19Snort, raspberry or whistle in the order the taskmaster desires.
42:25The taskmaster will give you a number sequence and you must reply immediately with the corresponding noises.
42:32One equals snort, two equals raspberry, three equals whistle.
42:40If you make a mistake, you are out.
42:43Most successful snort, raspberry and whistle responder wins.
42:49I genuinely cannot whistle.
42:52Whoop!
42:53Will be acceptable.
42:54OK.
42:54Are we ready?
42:54We're starting off in round one with a two-digit sequence.
42:58Amy.
42:59Three.
43:00One.
43:01WHISTLE BLOWS
43:02Good.
43:04Armando.
43:04Two.
43:05Three.
43:07BUZZLE BLOWS
43:10Looks like you're off the hook.
43:14Joanna, three-three.
43:17BUZZLE BLOWS
43:18BUZZLE BLOWS
43:23Oh, little baby bird.
43:25LAUGHTER
43:26Three-two.
43:30BUZZLE BLOWS
43:31BUZZLE BLOWS
43:33BUZZLE BLOWS
43:35BUZZLE BLOWS
43:36Lovely.
43:39Now, one-three.
43:41BUZZLE BLOWS
43:41BUZZLE BLOWS
43:42BUZZLE BLOWS
43:44So, they've all survived.
43:45I think we need to go up to three-digit sequence.
43:46I agree.
43:47OK.
43:48Amy.
43:48Two-one-three.
43:50BUZZLE BLOWS
43:52BUZZLE BLOWS
43:53Three-two-one.
43:56BUZZLE BLOWS
43:58BUZZLE BLOWS
43:58Two-two-one.
44:00BUZZLE BLOWS
44:01BUZZLE BLOWS
44:02One-one-three.
44:04BUZZLE BLOWS
44:05BUZZLE BLOWS
44:05BUZZLE BLOWS
44:06Two-one-three.
44:08BUZZLE BLOWS
44:09BUZZLE BLOWS
44:09BUZZLE BLOWS
44:10LAUGHTER
44:123, 3, 2.
44:13BUZZ
44:152, 1, 3.
44:16BUZZ
44:17BUZZ
44:17BUZZ
44:18Oh, my God, that's so good.
44:20Shall we go up to four? Shall we go up to four?
44:22We're going to four. I'm starting with Joanna.
44:24Here we go.
44:252, 2, 3, 1.
44:28BUZZ
44:28BUZZ
44:28BUZZ
44:30BUZZ
44:301, 1, 2, 3.
44:32BUZZ
44:34BUZZ
44:34BUZZ
44:35BUZZ
44:35BUZZ
44:361, 3, 2, 1.
44:39BUZZ
44:40BUZZ
44:40BUZZ
44:40BUZZ
44:41BUZZ
44:42BUZZ
44:43BUZZ
44:47BUZZ
44:47Ooh!
44:49BUZZ
44:49BUZZ
44:50It was too long!
44:51Amy könnte, you'll go!
44:52And it's all it's great and done!
44:55Right.
44:57So we're on Armando.
44:583, 3, 2, 1.
45:00BUZZ
45:01BUZZ
45:02BUZZ
45:03BUZZ
45:042, 2, 1, 3.
45:05BUZZ
45:06BUZZ
45:06BUZZ
45:10BUZZ
45:12No!
45:13No! That should have been a whistle!
45:15We lost the whistle, we lost the whistle!
45:17OK.
45:21Greg, would you like to go up to five-digit sequences?
45:23Oh, my God, I would.
45:25It's the semi-final, so we're on to Kamal.
45:27Five? I'm the first guy to do five?
45:29You're the first guy ever to do five.
45:33One, three, two, one, two.
45:40One, one, two, three, two.
45:40That should have been a rascal.
45:41That bird should have been a rascal.
45:44The snort should have been rascal.
45:46One, one, two, three, two.
45:53Correct. Yes.
45:54One, two, one, three, two.
46:02We have a win, everyone.
46:03We have a win, everyone.
46:08I love that to your final scores.
46:09Come and join me.
46:10Mr Armando Energy!
46:17Wow. Yeah.
46:18That was an absolute task.
46:21They were so good at making noises in the correct order, weren't they?
46:23Weren't they?
46:24The worst was Amy, but only just.
46:26I mean, you deserve more than one point, but that's all you get.
46:27Pfft!
46:30Amy got one.
46:31Joel, two.
46:32Kamel, three.
46:32Joanna, four.
46:33Armando, five.
46:34Which means the final scoreboard.
46:36It's his second victory.
46:38At the bottom, Amy and Joel, the happy guys, on ten points.
46:40At the top, Armando's got 22 points!
46:42CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:57U-hm, we cannabis,ょckri- foundations of town!
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