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00:10The End
00:36I haven't eaten since we last met.
00:39Really?
00:40You still have all my silverware.
00:42Oh, I'm so sorry.
00:44It's all right.
00:45Needed to lose the Christmas weight.
00:46I've just been so busy since New Year's Eve.
00:48Oh, good.
00:49I'm glad you deserve to be.
00:52Catering at the Berlin Pheasant Street next Saturday.
00:55You'll be there?
00:56Sadly not.
00:57I haven't had an invitation to the falconry
00:59since I introduced Paul Stratton to Monica's buffet table.
01:02A real shame on this occasion
01:04as I hear the food will be excellent.
01:06And there's me thinking the weight of a man's heart
01:08is in his trousers.
01:10Am I interrupting?
01:12No, Daddy.
01:12We borrowed his cutlery for the party.
01:14Well, then we should return it.
01:25Did I ever tell you how much I enjoy your show?
01:28Thrilling stuff.
01:29Once you get your teeth into someone,
01:31you don't let go, do you?
01:32If you're such a fan,
01:33why don't you come on?
01:34You'd make a great guest.
01:37I promise to be gentle.
01:44Unfortunately, the only evening I've got free
01:46in the near future is Valentine's Day,
01:48and I doubt it'll stay that way for long.
01:52Sorry to disappoint, our chap.
01:54Here we are, Rupert.
01:58Rupert.
02:01Thanks, Ty.
02:15Cunt.
02:20That's all we've got time for tonight.
02:21I'm sure our audience misses seeing you
02:23each week at Night Rider.
02:25Still, at least you're not playing second film
02:27to a talking car anymore.
02:39Time to wrap it up, Declan.
02:40He's got ten seconds left.
02:44Before we go,
02:45I would also like to mention
02:46that a special edition of our show
02:48will now be going out on Valentine's Day
02:50with former Olympic show jumper
02:51Mr. Rupert Campbell Black MP.
02:53I know that news will come as a surprise
02:55and a delight to many.
02:58Until next time,
03:00good night.
03:12What the fuck was that?
03:13I thought I told you not to pull this shit anymore.
03:16Jesus, relax, will you?
03:17Relax.
03:18Declan, all his office has to do
03:20is release a statement tomorrow morning
03:21saying they don't know what we're talking about
03:23and we look like a bunch of amateurs.
03:25Cameron, be nice to poor Declan.
03:27He's an asshole.
03:28No, he's a genius.
03:30Rupert can't refuse a challenger, man.
03:33You're both assholes.
03:35All we have to do is wait.
03:36Declan?
03:37Yeah?
03:38Mr. Campbell Black is on line one.
03:50Well, isn't the genius going to talk to him?
03:53You can speak to my producer.
03:56Same as anybody else.
04:04This is Cameron Cook.
04:06Mrs. T thinks I should accept the invitation
04:08and take the opportunity to show you media pinkos who's boss.
04:11I'm inclined to agree with her,
04:12but I voted for Reagan.
04:14Really?
04:15Good girl.
04:16So, Minister, are you game?
04:19We don't know each other well, Miss Cook,
04:21but I do hope that over the course of our acquaintance
04:24I might have the opportunity to show you
04:26how very game I am.
04:32Well.
04:35He's in.
04:57He's in.
05:39Don't think you're touching my tits later, dressed like that?
05:42No. Sure.
05:44Ignore my sister. She's a right bellend.
05:50Before the syphilis reached his brain, my father used to host seven shoots a year,
05:53and we never started the first drive later than half past nine.
05:56Shush, darling, they're waiting for their electrician friend.
05:58Oh, yes, the electrician.
05:59He's not an electrician.
06:01Freddie Jones is an electronics mogul.
06:04Today's a celebration of him joining my board.
06:06He's the guest of honour, Henry.
06:07You and your wife are here to make sure he has a jolly nice time, all right?
06:12Oh, he's here.
06:13Oh, fine, then.
06:17Look at that little number.
06:19Yeah, well, as long as he can shoot straight, I couldn't give a fuck.
06:22No, that's the spirit.
06:25You made it!
06:28Bloody hell, Tone.
06:30Should I chuck a bucket of mud over me motor?
06:32I'm feeling very conspicuous all of a sudden.
06:34Freddie, perfect as you are.
06:36My sweets.
06:40Oh, dear God.
06:40It's Sherlock Ideal Holmes.
06:43Tony, thank you so much for receiving us.
06:46We need to investigate crimes against taste.
06:48Come on.
06:48Hello, Mary.
06:49Good to see you.
06:50Pleasure.
06:51Lady Hermione.
06:52So honoured to make your acquaintance.
06:55Mrs Jones, I've heard so much about you.
07:00Now, let's get a gun in your hand.
07:02No need.
07:05No need.
07:06I brought me home.
07:09Oh.
07:11Marvellous.
07:35You are sure he can shoot, aren't you?
07:57You are sure he can shoot, aren't you?
08:34So how long do you spend on a cock?
08:36Er, well, generally speaking, I can finish one off in 15 minutes or less,
08:41but my hands aren't as quick as they used to be.
08:43No.
08:47Any of you ladies first, you having a go?
08:50Traditionally speaking, Fred, it's the men that shoot.
08:52We ladies are here merely to marvel at your prowess.
08:55I will.
08:57Oh, she's doing it. She's off.
08:59Wow. All right, good for you, girl.
09:01So, there it is. What-handed are you?
09:05Right-handed.
09:05You're right-handed. Okay, so, just take it.
09:07Take your triggers there.
09:08Safety yourself now.
09:11You've got to keep it hard into your shoulder.
09:13Otherwise, you're going to do yourself a mischief.
09:14Okay.
09:15Right, okay. Go on. End your own time.
09:21Whoa!
09:22Oh, never mind. Go on, have another, girl.
09:24Oh, no, no, no, it's fine. Thank you.
09:27God, look at the state of your hands.
09:29Oh, God. I hope nobody would notice.
09:32Um, I was fighting with a typewriter ribbon first thing.
09:35Needless to say, the ribbon won.
09:42Oh, well.
09:51No anywhere quiet?
10:09Lord, Lieutenant. Hello, Mr. Hampshire.
10:13Uh-huh.
10:13You must visit Green Lawn soon.
10:16Honestly, we would so love to receive you.
10:18Do say you'll come.
10:19Certainly, yes. What a splendid idea.
10:22Mrs. Stratton, hello.
10:24You must come and visit me at my boutique.
10:26I'm all searching for the right kind of clientele.
10:28Well, natural elegance can be so hard to find.
10:31Yes. No, I have been meaning to.
10:32It's just...
10:32You could pick something out for your cranium screen test,
10:35couldn't you, darling?
10:35Great idea.
10:36Screen test. How exciting.
10:37Any idea what he has in mind for you?
10:39Oh, he hasn't said, actually.
10:41Well, choose your outfit wisely, Sarah.
10:43The camera can be very unforgiving.
10:45Even if it's the most perfect of specimens.
10:48Oh.
10:55Freddy.
10:57Thought you hadn't shot before.
10:58Turns out you were a natural.
10:59Yeah, I was top marksman at Bisley for two years,
11:01doing me national service.
11:03I know. Why haven't I been there then?
11:04I want to introduce you to my son.
11:06Um.
11:08Just bear with me, man.
11:45Oh, fuck.
11:53It's blipping a wank. I thought you were right out, mate.
11:56Just a thought.
11:58There are far too many loaded guns around here today
12:00for you to be making comments like that.
12:02Now, fuck off before I do something you'll regret.
12:17Oh, Tones!
12:19Look who's here.
12:21Surprise.
12:22Maybe don't mind us dropping in.
12:24Of course not.
12:26I've shot two dozen pheasant of Jane and Woodcock this morning.
12:28Why shouldn't I add a couple of cuckoos to that tally?
12:32Well, for a start, it wouldn't be able to appear on your chat show.
12:34Oh.
12:37Why shoot you now when I can wait and have you savaged by an Irish wolfhound?
12:42Oh, yes.
12:47Ginger!
12:48Please show our guests to their pegs for the next drive.
12:51Right.
12:52Come along, Lizzie.
12:54I can't believe you turned out uninvited.
12:57You don't always have to be invited, Taggy.
13:01Good things seldom come to those who wait.
13:12Charles!
13:13Oh, hello. I didn't expect to see anybody.
13:16I was researching Campbell Black and needed something from my office.
13:19I never thought I'd see the day when Tony Baddingham had Declan O'Hara doing his dirty work.
13:23I have my own reasons for wanting to take that bastard down.
13:25You know, in different circumstances, you and Rupert could have been friends.
13:29Both complicated, both stubborn. Misunderstood.
13:32Bollocks. What are you doing in a Saturday?
13:36Moving offices ahead of my grand return.
13:40Apparently, my recent coronary episode makes me a medical liability.
13:45Which is why Cameron Cook is now a controller of programmes and I'm...
13:48Head of Religious Broadcasting.
13:51I can't begrudge her too much.
13:54Climbing the greasy pearl requires its own set of skills.
13:57Hmm.
13:58Especially when the greasy pearl in question lives in Tony Paddingham's trousers.
14:05How's the heart?
14:08Oh, you know...
14:11Broken.
14:14Don't show Tony any weakness, Declan O'Hara.
14:17This is what you get.
14:20You win!
14:27Oh.
14:30Oh.
14:37No, it's a great one.
14:38Oh.
14:38Oh.
14:38Oh.
14:39Oh.
14:40Oh...
14:40Oh, I'm so sorry.
14:43Oh, God.
14:48Oh, oh, oh.
14:59I don't know.
15:19What do you think of your first shoot?
15:21How can people murder helpless animals all day for fun?
15:24Says the girl who baked two dozen pork pies for the occasion.
15:27Or do you suppose the poor piggies were hugged to death?
15:29Don't be horrid. I needed the job.
15:31Don't be a hypocrite.
15:33Stand up for what you believe in.
15:38Maybe I shouldn't be saying this, but...
15:40I don't think you should go on Daddy's show.
15:42I'm worried he's going to do something awful.
15:46You'll be fine.
15:47Promise.
15:48Oh, smashing spread, Agatha.
15:52I'm hosting at the Beaufort next month,
15:54and I wondered if you might do the food.
15:57Oh, that's very kind.
16:02To be honest, I find the whole idea of hunts and shoots utterly...
16:09objectionable.
16:09And I won't be doing them anymore.
16:11Oh.
16:12Oh, right.
16:14Be careful, Agatha.
16:16You're in danger of developing a backbone.
16:18Now, I've got a girl's supper Monday week.
16:20I'm going to give you a tinkle.
16:24Oh, girl.
16:25Oh, God.
16:31Come on, Ruth.
16:32You've got a hot date.
16:33It's a dog and trumpet.
16:34Bye, Angel.
17:00I have had the most delightful day.
17:04It's so nice to have finally found our kind of people.
17:08Sorry, Todd.
17:08I've got to get to the office.
17:10Trouble with a shipment out of Japan.
17:11Well, you're a true titan of industry, Freddie.
17:14Let's talk again soon.
17:15Try and set a date for you to come in and discuss your ideas.
17:17I'll give you a ring on Monday.
17:19Thanks.
17:20Bye.
17:25Well done.
17:28Now, they're just through there.
17:30I'll fetch the brandy glasses.
17:35Oh, Mr. Hampshire.
17:41I would so love to receive you.
17:44Oh, well, fortunately for you, Mrs. Jones.
17:48Oh!
17:50Hounds aren't the only thing I ride to.
17:53Cheers!
17:54I'm sure a ride with you would be delightful.
17:56What can I say?
17:57The likeness is uncanny.
17:58Oh, what about me, Mr. Hampshire?
17:59Do I bear resemblance?
18:01Oh, I'm sure he wishes you did.
18:03He'd be bounding down a green lawn
18:05to admire one's topiary balls.
18:09Oh, God!
18:16Sorry, Mousie left her, um...
18:19Oh, no, yeah, sure.
18:20I was just, um...
18:21trying them on for size.
18:23You know, I really must get down to Mousie's boutique soon.
18:26Well, look, thanks again for a great time.
18:28Let's talk on Monday.
18:29Absolutely.
18:30Let me see you on...
18:30No, no, no, you're all right.
18:32I know you're all right.
18:32I know you're all right.
18:46Now, who'd like a cigar?
18:50I guess I did this for one of those.
18:52It's really unfortunate.
19:02I know you're all right.
19:08Ah, how was the shoot?
19:10Well, they killed loads of birds, but they like my food.
19:13Rupert stopped by.
19:15Oh, Jesus Christ.
19:18Is there no place free of that man?
19:39Oh, my...
19:41Cheathing.
19:46Corn red-handed.
19:57Why are you in here?
20:00What are you planning on doing to Rupert?
20:04He said he was sorry.
20:05I raised you to be smarter than that.
20:07A story is a story.
20:10It looks like it's all been said before.
20:11No, it hasn't.
20:14He doesn't deserve whatever you have planned for him.
20:16It's called journalism, Tag.
20:18You can call it what you want.
20:21I call it revenge.
20:30So what's this big scoop you've got on Rupert?
20:32The whole office is talking about it.
20:34Magician never reveals his secrets, sir.
20:40The Butcher of Carinium, that's a new one.
20:44It's not true, is it?
20:46I mean, I know the show can get a bit confrontational,
20:49but I never rip someone apart for the sake of it.
20:52You're making great television.
20:53And, more importantly, keeping Lord B happy.
21:14Slag.
21:17Lord Battingham's office.
21:19Of course, putting you through.
21:23Freddie Jones for you.
21:29Freddie, how are you?
21:30Can't join your ball, Tony.
21:33Freddie.
21:33I heard everything.
21:36You, Sarah, all of them.
21:39I don't mind people making fun of me.
21:42It's just that nobody makes fun of Mount Valerie.
21:48We all love Mousy.
21:50I hate snobs, Tony.
21:52And you're the worst kind there is.
21:54The kind who's forgotten where he came from.
22:10Fred, Fred, I am in such turmoil.
22:13Some young ladies from Carinium were in the boutique earlier today
22:15saying the most ghastly things about Tony Battingham
22:18and that plug woman.
22:19I just don't know what I'm going to say to poor Monica.
22:21Then don't say anything.
22:22I must.
22:23It's too awful.
22:24Mousy, please.
22:25It's got nothing to do with us.
22:35We need it, Freddie!
22:40It was Rupert.
22:41He crashed the chute, ruined the moon.
22:44Don't be such a baby.
22:45You fucked up.
22:50Beg your pardon?
22:52You heard me.
23:00Forget Freddie Jones.
23:02You've got me and Declan,
23:05and we've got the highest ratings in the country.
23:15Declan's got a scoop on Rupert.
23:18Apparently, it's top secret.
23:20Valentine's Day can't come quickly enough.
23:28Mon Mon.
23:30Oh.
23:32I promise we aren't always shooting things here, Valerie.
23:34But roosting on my hornbeams is a capital event.
23:42Dearest Mon Mon, I'm afraid I must relay some rather difficult information to you regarding Cameron Cork.
23:50Oh, yes.
23:51You see, as the owner of a very popular boutique, one learns about all sorts of goings-on, and, well,
23:57the suggestion is that she might have come by her recent promotion through certain immodest means, and that perhaps your
24:05husband's head was, well, turned.
24:09Well, that's very interesting, Valerie.
24:13I mean, actually, I've no idea whether...
24:14Be substantiated.
24:21No.
24:22You don't.
24:29It can leave one feeling quite alone.
24:33So if ever you wanted to confide in someone...
24:36I'm sure that won't be necessary.
24:39Thank you so much for stopping by.
24:54Good morning, Rutscher.
24:56And a happy Valentine's Day to all our listeners.
24:59Stay tuned for back-to-back love songs to get you in the romantic mood.
25:03And on television tonight, Declan O'Hara will be interviewing local Casanova, Rupert Campbell Black.
25:09Let's see if Declan gets him to kiss and tell all.
25:12Without sin.
25:14Good.
25:16Delivery?
25:16Oh, gosh.
25:19For Mr. Barracker?
25:22Oh.
25:27Thanks.
25:27Bye, darling.
25:28Mustache.
25:28Feel free to pop all this in the pile for me.
25:39Darling.
25:40We can go for dinner any time.
25:43Tonight, I want to watch the Valentine's Day Massacre.
25:47Of Rupert Campbell Black.
25:48Hmm.
25:49Well, I'll have finished my screen test for Cotswold Roundup by mid-afternoon, so you have until then to change
25:54your mind.
25:54Okay.
25:57Or what?
25:59You'll hang an open-for-business sign on your dressing room door.
26:06Don't tell me.
26:32Where have you been?
26:34Where have you been?
26:38Archie, dear, your father says he found you on the morning of the shoot, receiving manual stimulation from an estate
26:45worker.
26:48Uh...
26:48Well, darling, look.
26:51Whilst boarding school is undoubtedly a lonely place where certain extracurricular activities are tolerated, well, at least they were in
26:58my day.
26:58Fuck.
27:00I do feel that one should exercise restraint when closer to home.
27:06After all, fraternizing with the staff can only ever lead to pain and humiliation for all concerned.
27:18There are lines one does not cross.
27:22Understood?
27:25Yeah.
27:27Good.
27:33You'll see.
27:33I told you I'd deal with it.
27:35I don't know what I'd do without you.
27:37You might bear that in mind.
27:49Cameron Cook.
27:50I met a lady in the meads.
27:51Full beautiful.
27:52A fairy's child.
27:53Her hair was long.
27:54Her foot was light.
27:55And her eyes were wild.
27:57I set her on my pacing steed and nothing else saw all day long.
28:00For sidelong would she bend and sing a fairy's song.
28:04You know it's customary to some flowers, cheapskate.
28:06Oh hey, there's nothing cheap about John Keats.
28:09Go try your luck with some do-out undergrads.
28:11I'm busy.
28:38I believe I asked for coffee sometime this century would be fantastic.
28:43You'd think the promotion would make her happy, but she's angrier than ever.
28:47I'll get the coffee.
28:48You get the phone.
28:50James Rourke's phone.
28:52Oh, hello Deirdre.
28:53Can you tell James I'd like him home for lunch today?
28:56I'm sorry, who's this?
28:58His wife.
29:00Oh yes.
29:01Right you are.
29:27This is for you.
29:29It's from Rupert.
29:31Oh!
29:37Hey Baz.
29:39How are you?
29:41Dreadful.
29:42So Freddie Jones lent me this fabulous new sing-along machine.
29:46Freshly shipped from Japan.
29:47I was supposed to be hosting, and if music be the food of love,
29:51karaoke and curry night.
29:53Only now, my chef's off sick.
29:55Well, I could cook a curry for you.
29:58That's exactly what I hoped you'd say.
30:00But why do you say I'm getting abandoned on Valentine's night?
30:04You said you were going to watch Daddy's interview with me, Taggy.
30:07Well, come to the bar.
30:08You can watch the interview, and I can watch you.
30:13And thank you, my darling, honestly.
30:15You're really helping me out of a tight spot.
30:16Well, I have a tight spot too, if you fancy lending a hand.
30:21Come to Bar Sinister tonight, and I'll lend you too.
30:25Ooh.
30:34Who was that?
30:35Oh, uh, it was Baz.
30:38He wants Taggy to do some cooking for him.
30:40Good luck tonight.
30:41Thanks, love.
30:43Give him hell.
30:44Oh, I will.
30:47Daddy, please don't do this to Rupert.
30:49Oh, for fuck's sake, Tag.
30:51This is happening whether you like it or not.
30:53Now, go up.
31:12Sorry, you were great.
31:13I've said it before.
31:14The camera loves you.
31:15I was so nervous this morning, and having you there just really put me at ease, you know.
31:18You should see Sarah's screen test camera.
31:20She's really something.
31:23I'd rather watch Frog's fucking.
31:26Hey, you can take the girl out of New York.
31:28Well, here he is, man of the moment.
31:31What's this?
31:31More dirt on Rupert?
31:32You'll have to find out tonight, I'm afraid.
31:34Scorpion are holding their front page for us tomorrow, so whatever you have, O'Hara, better be good.
31:37What is it?
31:38Hmm?
31:39Drugs?
31:39Underage girls?
31:40God, I'd love to see that smug bastard in an handcuff.
31:43It's not criminal, but I promise you won't be disappointed.
31:46It'll blindside even him.
31:48God, he's a shark.
31:51Ooh.
31:51Go on.
32:05Ah!
32:21two sugars the shock thank you i only come around to give you this
32:30oh gosh it's what is it it's a word processor sort of like a fancy electric typewriter
32:39so you don't have to worry about any more ink-based accidents
32:43oh gosh freddie that's that's so you have a talent lizzie they should be encouraged
33:07for what it's worth and i didn't see much but for what it's worth
33:26hello sorry darling couldn't get away oh that's all right doesn't matter now listen the whole
33:33station's staying to watch the campbell black bloodbath in person so don't wait up all right
33:50i thought you might like to meet your new co-host co-host what do you mean co-host
34:03oh i see well i can feel my ratings soaring already
34:14are you here about the pony tabitha's in the stables this way i'm here to speak to you about your
34:19ex-husband
34:21um my father's declan o'hara i've already told his office i want nothing to do i've got a really
34:25bad
34:25feeling about the interview tonight it's got nothing to do with me talk to rupert ask him to back
34:30out please i think you should leave i mean you must have left him once are you sleeping with him
34:39no no rupert is bad news i believe that people can change i was just like you i told myself
34:46nobody
34:47understands him like me he'll change i looked at him and i saw all this potential and he looked at
34:53me
34:53and saw something he'd enjoy breaking rupert is a cancer my advice cut him out before it's too late
35:03now please leave
35:31you're aware you are because you're good
35:34you know that don't you come on snap out of it we've history to make elvis is about to enter
35:42the
35:59building
36:00remember this isn't wogan he won't be gentle if you don't like the question change the subject thanks
36:05for the words of wisdom sensei but i do feel in situations like this it's often better just to
36:10be oneself
36:13try telling that to ted heath
36:15i don't know
36:26oh my god
36:28oh
36:31Oh
37:01And Jane Bond is going to work out video now
37:04I won't be doing, I'm not going for Jane Bond to do
37:06A bit of bread, a bit of cheese, you know
37:08A bit of a cut-cube, a lot of women schemes, aren't they?
37:11You know
37:19Hi, Sandra's just going to touch you up
37:21I'd love her to, but I'm about to appear on national television
37:23Mr. Campbell Black
37:25Ah, great to have you on the show
37:27Ready when you are
37:32Oh
37:33I've seen Kate
37:34Cory
37:34I thought there was graphics for later
37:42Hi, hi, hi
37:47Hi, hi
37:47Hi
38:04Hello
38:04Paul
38:06Darling
38:07I am so sorry, I'm such a pig
38:09Can you forgive me?
38:10I bought champagne
38:12Paul
38:13You shouldn't have
38:14Oh, come here
38:17Phew
38:18Right
38:19Direct me to the Volavons
38:24And we're live in
38:27Five
38:29Four
38:35Three
38:38Two
38:39Three
38:40Three
38:41Three
38:41Good luck, Dexley
38:43One
38:44Three
38:52My guest tonight needs no introduction
38:55He's been described as the world's greatest show jumper
38:58and one of the most eligible bachelors in England.
39:00He is, of course, Minister for Sport and MP for Chalford and Bisley,
39:03Mr. Rupert Campbell-Black.
39:09Now, Mr. Campbell-Black, you've had a varied career, haven't you?
39:12What first attracted you to politics?
39:15Athletes make good politicians.
39:16Show-jumping taught me how to think on my feet
39:18and remain unfazed under scrutiny.
39:21Do you get on with the Prime Minister?
39:24I hold her in enormously high esteem.
39:26Michael Thatcher is the daughter of a greengrocer.
39:29She went to a grammar school, as did Norman Tebbett, Cecil Parkinson.
39:33The Conservative Party has changed,
39:35and it's Mrs. Thatcher who has changed it.
39:37So why do you think she keeps you around?
39:41I hope she thinks I'm good at my job.
39:45Do aristocrats make good politicians?
39:48Plenty of them have.
39:49My family has a strong sense of moral duty.
39:52I inherited that with the House.
39:54Ah, noblesse oblige.
39:57If you like.
39:58My Latin's not what it used to be.
40:01But with your privileged background,
40:03how can you understand the difficulties faced by the man on the street?
40:08I can't help the circumstances of my birth.
40:10It's not what you've got, it's what you do with it.
40:17Now, your tenure as Minister for Sport has been controversial.
40:22If you're talking about football, then the hooligans are a tiny minority.
40:25Well, you have taken a notoriously light-touch approach to policing the game.
40:30The poor sods are out of work.
40:32Their fathers are out of work.
40:34Often their grandfathers, too.
40:35Out of the sheer frustration at not winning, they resort to violence.
40:38I think we should try to understand the vandal.
40:41Sounds almost socialist.
40:42Although some people might call you a vandal.
40:45Of women.
40:47Horses, marriages.
40:50Still, adultery must prepare you well for life within the Conservative Party.
40:56I'm sorry.
40:57You know, sneaking around, lying, betrayal, sexual degeneracy.
41:02I'm no longer married.
41:03Yeah, but you were for six years,
41:05and yet throughout your marriage, your affairs were common knowledge.
41:08I mean, one glass of shape here has described you as
41:09rather a nasty virus that everyone's wife caught sooner or later.
41:14Well, if you'd seen his wife, it's definitely later.
41:21Christ, he really has an arsehole, isn't he?
41:24And that's the break in five, four, three, two, and we're out.
41:37Clear, and we're back on in three minutes.
41:42Rupert, there's somebody here to see you.
41:45Ooh.
41:53I tell you, what are you doing here?
41:55You need to go.
41:56Just walk out.
41:58Your father's not the first old socialist you've tried to catch me out.
42:01Whatever you're worried about, it's already out there.
42:03No.
42:04I know him.
42:05He's saving the worst for later.
42:07When he wants something, he's ruthless.
42:10He'll do anything.
42:11I mean, he's, he's just like you, Rupert.
42:13Exactly.
42:15Minister, we need you back on set.
42:16The break's almost over.
42:17Just walk out the building with me.
42:19Minister.
42:20Please.
42:32Five seconds and we're back.
42:33Where the fuck is he?
42:36Five.
42:36Jackson, you're going to have to add live.
42:38Four.
42:40Three.
42:45Two.
42:56Jackson, you're on.
42:58Welcome back.
42:59You know what this reminds me of?
43:01Um, being back on the circuit.
43:03Having an opponent.
43:05Knowing that I can make a tiny mistake and it might all be over.
43:07It's exhilarating.
43:08This is an interview.
43:09There's no winner.
43:11That's not true, though, is it?
43:14He wants to beat me.
43:18He's trying to distract him.
43:20Now's the time, Declan.
43:23Most celebrities are scared that I'll find out something exposing about you.
43:29Something's wrong.
43:30The more awful things you do, the more the public seem to love you.
43:33Well, who am I to argue with public opinion?
43:35So you don't deny it?
43:37What's that?
43:39That you've done awful things?
43:41I have.
43:42You're right.
43:45Isn't that what we do?
43:49We?
43:50Men like us.
43:51I am nothing like you.
43:54Really.
43:55You're cold.
43:57You have had the best education money can buy, yet you remain a philistine.
44:02You barely see your children.
44:04You pick up women just because you can, but you're still fundamentally alone.
44:08And when they can't fill that emptiness inside you, you discard them.
44:13Despite your gold medals and your money, you are a lonely man rattling around a huge empty manor,
44:19and that's who you likely end your days.
44:21You behave like a man with no secrets and no shame.
44:27Well, there is one thing I'd like to discuss with you.
44:30You're right.
44:30I'm a rake.
44:37A liar.
44:39Cheat.
44:41If there was something I wanted, I pursued it.
44:43I didn't care about anybody else.
44:44My horses, my teammates, my wife.
44:47But we're still alike.
44:48I very much doubt that.
44:50You're the best in the world at what you do.
44:52Flattery will get you nowhere, Mr. Camdenblank.
44:53I don't know what that was like, being the best.
44:55And what I was willing to do to stay there.
44:59What are you willing to do?
45:07A family.
45:10To yourself.
45:21I'm bored of you tickling each other's balls that can get the fucking cat out of the bag.
45:30You're right.
45:34I'm a workaholic.
45:39And when I'm consumed by something,
45:43I can be, um...
45:48I can be a monster.
45:52Yeah.
45:57You're probably a better husband than I was.
46:01After all, you're still married.
46:04I don't know.
46:06I think I'm a pretty bad husband.
46:13Do you think you've ever been in love?
46:26No.
46:30That's my fault.
46:32My ambition hasn't left room for much else.
46:35Do you think that'll ever change?
46:42The fucker isn't gonna do it.
46:44Well, even if he doesn't destroy Rupert, this could still be a good show.
46:46Tell me about, um...
46:49Tell me about your childhood.
46:51Pull the transmission!
46:52Let's just see where this goes.
46:53You value your job!
46:54Pull the fucking transmission!
46:56No, because this is my show.
46:57Cut the transmission.
46:58No.
47:00Do that to me.
47:00No.
47:01Give me that!
47:02Cameron!
47:03Cameron, for fuck's sake!
47:05No, trust me!
47:08Listen, you arrogant little Irish prick.
47:10Either you destroy the fucker
47:11or I'm gonna come down there and pull you off the floor myself.
47:14There's no point, Tony.
47:15He's already taken his earpiece out.
47:16He can't hear you.
47:17If it's any consolation,
47:19we've made some really great television.
47:21This would've worked
47:22if you've just done your fucking job!
47:27Who do you trust?
47:31Who do you count on?
47:40Dogs.
47:44I'd much prefer dogs to people.
47:50I'd give anything to see my old Labrador Badger again.
47:56He was a good dog.
48:08So, which of your many sporting achievements
48:12was the hardest one?
48:14Oh.
48:16Which was the hardest?
48:17The King's Cup,
48:17the Olympic gold,
48:19the World Championship?
48:20Well...
48:21None of them.
48:24The hardest thing?
48:26The...
48:27The thing that nearly killed me?
48:29Yeah.
48:34It's giving it all...
48:46Ladies and gentlemen,
48:47Mr. Rupert Campbell Black.
48:59Thank you, sir.
49:00Hey, that's a good match.
49:02Get it.
49:03Oh!
49:03Oh!
49:06Yeah!
49:08Yeah!
49:10Yeah!
49:10Yeah!
49:12Yeah!
49:13Yeah!
49:13Yeah!
49:13Congratulations, darling.
49:14It was...
49:14Great TV, as always.
49:27Did you like the show?
49:29Yeah.
49:41Sorry, Lord B. Didn't expect to see you there.
49:44Thought you'd be down bar sinister by now,
49:47celebrating with Declan and Rupert.
49:54Great show tonight, by the way. Best yet.
50:28I want you to stay away from Taggy.
50:32She's young enough to be your daughter.
50:38Yeah, of course.
50:41Good.
50:48Drink?
50:51No, no. I'm taking Maude home.
50:57What was it that you had on me?
51:00Ruth.
51:02I was just bluffing.
51:08This is going okay, ladies and gentlemen.
51:10Oh, my name!
51:12The sound is screaming and the fires are howling way down in the valley tonight.
51:18There's a man in the shadows with a gun in his eye and a blade shining all so bright.
51:23There's evil in the air and there's thunder in the sky and the killers on the bloodshot streets.
51:30You won't drown in the tunnels with a devil in your eyes and I swear I saw a young boy
51:35having the guts
51:36See, I told you it was all gonna be okay.
51:39You gonna dance?
51:43Um...
51:43Oh, baby, you're the only thing in this whole world that's pure...
51:47I'd love to, but...
51:50I have to go.
51:52Sorry to interrupt.
51:55I gotta get ahead, I gotta break it out now
51:58Before the final crack of dawn
52:02We gotta make the most of our one night together
52:05When it's over, you know, we'll both be so alone
52:10Come on, then!
52:13Like a battle of hell, I'll be gone when the morning comes
52:19When the night is over, like a battle of hell, I'll be gone, gone, gone
52:24Like a battle of hell, I'll be gone when the morning comes
52:30When the day is done and the sun goes down and the moonlight's shining through
52:36I feel like a sinner before the gates of heaven
52:44I'll come crawling on back to you
52:52I didn't pay
52:56I'm gonna hit the highway like a battering wham
52:59Or a silver black fan on by
53:01You know, oh, in the middle is hurt
53:03And the injured is hungry
53:04And I'm a whore, I wanna see the light
53:07Nothing ever goes in this rotten door hole
53:10And everything is burning in the house
53:14And nothing really rocks and nothing really rolls
53:17And nothing's ever worth the cost
53:21And nothing really rocks and nothing new
53:48No!
53:49No!
53:49Henry?
53:50Oh, hello.
53:53Right, yes, of course.
53:55Tell whoever it is to fuck off.
53:57I would, darling.
54:01Muddy's Margaret Thatcher.
54:15Prime Minister.
54:25Prime Minister.
54:40She wants to visit the station and do an interview of her own.
54:43How wonderful.
54:45A real coup.
54:46That's great news.
54:50And all thanks to Rupert, I suppose.
54:55A real coup.
55:00A real coup.
55:15A real coup.
55:20A real coup.
55:25A real coup.
55:29A real coup.
55:33A real coup.
55:36A real coup.
55:36A real coup.
55:41A real coup.
55:46A real coup.
55:49A realization.
55:55A real coup.
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