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00:12To be continued...
00:36This is your captain speaking. Keep your eyes on the board. We're about to go super sonic.
01:00Oh! Oh! Oh!
01:17Did we break the sound barrier?
01:20Sorry, Mr. Camper Black, I didn't know it was you in there.
01:30You see the signs, but you can't read. You're running at a different speed.
01:38Your heart beats, double time, another kiss.
01:47Enjoying your flight, Rupert?
01:49Tony Battingham.
01:51Did you know B.T. Johnson from The Scorpion?
01:54Oh, no, but I hear great things.
01:56Did the Prime Minister give you permission to fuck a journalist in the on-board toilet?
02:01Lou, Tony, don't be plebeian.
02:03B.T.'s ghosting my memoirs. Now I believe in laying one's ghost.
02:07Oh, B.T., what's your angle?
02:09Champion show jumper put out to pasture.
02:11Now a powerless backbench politician casting round for his next hobby.
02:16Never quite achieving the success he once had.
02:20What are you doing in New York? Whoring yourself around advertisers?
02:23You know if you don't start spending some of that fortune you're coining on making decent television,
02:28you're going to lose your business.
02:29Very much in hand.
02:30Just recruited a hot-shit young producer.
02:33Who?
02:33Mm.
02:34Cameron Cook.
02:35Never heard of him.
02:38You were.
02:40Desperate to work for Karinian.
02:41Bit my hand off in vain.
02:43Hope I didn't bleed on your nice suit.
02:47Wait me when we head back, too.
03:16Thanks, finally.
03:16Hopefully, anybody leaves all privates doing all that like.
03:17It's hard to ending on your dear.
03:19Between 2500 participants, the
03:19Oh, oh, oh.
03:49Drug use, pornography, easier divorce, rampant homosexuality.
03:53Recent studies have shown that HIV isn't exclusively a homosexual disease, Deputy Prime Minister.
03:59Oh, but loveless rutting.
04:01The promiscuous encounters that characterize a Saturday night in Soho,
04:05those are the preconditions for this virus, which threatens...
04:08The precondition, Deputy Prime Minister, is the Victorian conservatism of the Tory government,
04:12which is narrow-minded, hypocritical, and quite frankly, cruel.
04:16And cut there, thank you. Ready to go again.
04:19He can say gay sex is loveless rutting, but I can't make a small comment about the government.
04:23BBC editorial policy, Declan.
04:25Sorry, Deputy Prime Minister.
04:27We're going again.
04:28Q Declan.
04:32Mr Stratton, yourself and Mrs Stratton have been married, what, 15 years?
04:3715 in April.
04:38Yeah, three children, a wife, a mistress, and an all-consuming job.
04:42It must be difficult to juggle everything.
04:46What?
04:47Although your wife, Winifred, has been staying at her family's Pimbleco apartment,
04:50which must have made it easier for you to spend time with your, uh...
04:5429-year-old secretary, Miss Sarah Price,
04:58who proudly told our researchers that you have the girth and stamina
05:02to compete with any championship racehorse.
05:04Is that a fair comment to make, sir?
05:05I, uh, well, the...
05:07Cut!
05:08Cut!
05:08I would look to your own glass house, Deputy Prime Minister,
05:11before you start throwing rocks at others.
05:13So, Declan, if we could just do another take without the slant.
05:15Fuck off, Alistair!
05:17Fuck!
05:18Freak!
05:18Fuck!
05:22Fuck!
05:22I don't want to close this in the chat.
05:48Don't know whose bloomers are more of a twist tonight, aren't it?
05:51Or the prime minister's.
05:52We both know the BBC won't show tonight's episode.
05:55I've said it before, Lord Bandigham.
05:57I'm happy here.
05:58And I'm not interested in commercial television.
06:02Oh.
06:05Director-General calling Sabin and Naughty Boy.
06:19I'm offering you freedom.
06:22I saw your interview with Reagan.
06:24I bet they hacked out some corkers.
06:27We'd put you out live.
06:31Live?
06:32Complete editorial control.
06:35The skew of the bastards on air is halfway around the world before anyone's got a chance to complain.
06:40The satellite's coming.
06:42We're going global.
06:44It's exciting.
06:47You're stuck here with a load of librarians.
06:51When you could be an astronaut.
06:58I'd have to persuade Maude.
07:02Massive house from the country.
07:03She'd love it.
07:04What's a Wicklow man like you doing in Fulham?
07:06Dodging litter and dog shit.
07:08Come to the Coswolds.
07:11Even I have to win sometimes.
07:12How fucking pretty the place is.
07:20A little signing bonus.
07:22Declan, come on.
07:24You're being paid peanuts to get bloodless interviews with one hand tied behind your back.
07:29It's the golden age of television.
07:32You're missing the game.
08:01But what you've got is all so sweet.
08:05You've got to make it hot.
08:09Like a boy, I got me to repeat.
08:13Give me all your loving.
08:16All your hugs and kisses, dear.
08:21Give me all your loving.
08:24Don't let up until we leave.
08:29You've got to whip it up.
08:31You've got to whip it up.
08:33And hit me like a ton of lead.
08:37If I blow my tongue.
08:39Ham.
08:40Daddy's ham.
08:42Will you let it blow in your head?
08:45Give me all your loving.
08:48All your hugs and kisses, dear.
08:54Give me all your loving.
08:56Give me all your loving.
08:56All your hugs and kisses, dear.
09:00Hi, Daddy.
09:05Hello, darling.
09:06How was your day?
09:07Extremely successful.
09:08Mmm.
09:09Sorry I landed on you again.
09:11Yes, we do have other orders.
09:16Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
09:45Here we are, girls.
09:47The priory.
09:50Caitlin, we're here.
09:51What?
09:52We're here, we're here, look!
09:53We're here!
09:59Oh my god!
10:22Exciting things are going to happen to us in a place like this.
10:25Amazing.
10:27Racial gold.
10:28Bagley best rooms.
10:30Grittiest prison I ever saw.
10:32Oh my god.
10:50.
11:08Jehovah's Witness.
11:09Oh fuck she's seen us.
11:12Oh you'll have to go down.
11:13What? Why me?
11:14I'm on the lookout.
11:15What? For him.
11:15Oh, my God.
11:19Soviet officials have announced that 79 bodies have been recovered
11:23and nearly 320 people are missing after a Soviet cruise ship sank in the...
11:29Door!
11:31Hello.
11:32I just wanted to welcome you to...
11:33No, no, thank you.
11:37We're not on the best of terms with Jehovah in this house.
11:40Taggy, just shut the door.
11:41Oh, it's not mine.
11:42I found it on a lawn.
11:44New English.
11:45Is it the New English Bible?
11:47Yes.
11:48Daddy says it's a literary abomination.
11:49He must have thrown it out the window.
11:51I'm Lizzie.
11:52I live down the valley.
11:54I bought you a bottle and some eggs.
11:56We'll open this now.
11:58Okay.
11:59Come on in.
12:01We haven't found the wine glasses yet.
12:04Tell us the second post here.
12:06Oh, there isn't a second post.
12:08Taggy lost her virginity this summer to one of her son Patrick's university friends.
12:12He's in the south of France right now and not writing many postcards.
12:16Oh, it must be so lonely for Rupert now he's not show jumping.
12:19And the only thing that persuaded Caitlin to leave all her friends in London was the thought
12:23of living opposite Rupert Campbell Black.
12:25I want him to ravish me.
12:27He's a middle-aged MP, Caitlin.
12:29Well, I'm so cross.
12:30I'm off to boarding school and won't get the first crack at him.
12:32He's bountiful for Taggy.
12:33Or even Mummy.
12:34How well do you know him?
12:36Oh, I'm not sure anyone really knows Rupert.
12:39But we're friends.
12:40So not carnally, then?
12:42I'm one of the few women around here who hasn't been ravished by Rupert.
12:45Is your husband fiercely protective?
12:49Oh, that's my novel.
12:52I wrote it.
12:53Have you read it?
12:54Oh, no, Taggy doesn't read.
12:56She's dyslexic.
12:57For a long time we thought she was retarded.
12:59Oh, he took what he wanted.
13:01I loved this.
13:03Talk about getting ravished.
13:05Isn't there a very naughty bit with some dock leaves?
13:09Oh.
13:13Yeah, the photo's quite old.
13:15Have you got another one coming out?
13:16Well, what with the children and my husband, I don't find much time to write nowadays.
13:20Hi, I need a shirt and some fucking socks.
13:24Oh.
13:25Daddy, that's Lizzie.
13:27I live just down the valley.
13:28She writes dirty books.
13:29Nice to meet you, Caitlin. You're wearing my socks.
13:31Well, they're warmer than tight.
13:32Sorry, still unpacking.
13:33Thanks, love.
13:34How easy is it to find help, aren't you?
13:36We are not forking out for a cleaner.
13:39Well, stealing a woman's help around here is worse than stealing her husband.
13:42What if you stole both?
13:47That's Grant, tag.
13:48Right.
13:49I am going to buy 30 pairs of socks in such a disgusting colour that none of you will ever
13:54pinch them again.
13:55Nice to meet you, Lizzie.
13:56Good luck, Daddy.
13:57Give him help.
13:58All right, let's get smashed.
14:01Welcome to Rocha.
14:13A man walks down the street, he says, why am I soft in the middle now?
14:17Why am I soft in the middle?
14:18The rest of my life is so hard.
14:21I need a photo opportunity.
14:22I want a shot of redemption.
14:24Don't want to end up a cartoon in a cartoon graveyard.
14:28Bone-digger, bone-digger.
14:29Get these mutts away from me, you know.
14:31I don't find this stuff on music anymore.
14:35If you be my bodyguard, I can be your mom on the ground.
14:42I can call you Betty.
14:44Betty, when you call me, you can call me out.
14:50A man walks down the street, he says, why am I short of attention?
14:54Got a short little span of attention.
14:56Oh, my nights are so long.
14:58Where's my wife and family?
14:59What if I die here?
15:01Who'll be my role model?
15:03Now that my role model is gone, gone.
15:07You duck back down the alley with some roly-poly little bat-faced girl.
15:12All along, along, there were incidents and accidents.
15:16There were hints and allegations.
15:20If you be my bodyguard.
15:25Declan, hi.
15:27Yeah.
15:27There he is.
15:28I'll see you.
15:29Okay.
15:31What the fuck?
15:34Just a man of the people.
15:36Don't be jealous, James.
15:37At least he won't steal your son's bed.
15:39He's tall, isn't he?
15:40Standing next to a very short car.
15:42I saw him in Pensacola.
15:43I think he looks a lot older in the flesh.
15:45Thank you, dear.
15:46Who's producing him?
15:47Cameron.
15:47It's factual, not drama.
15:49Why does Cameron get all the good stuff?
15:50I really can't think.
15:53Declan, how much are they paying you?
15:55Why'd you leave the BBC, Declan?
15:56Come on, Declan, give us a smile.
15:57All right, all right.
15:58Thanks, lads.
15:59That's your life.
16:00Give me the frock out of it.
16:01This way?
16:01No.
16:01You've got the paddy among the pigeons, haven't you?
16:04Who says no blacks, no Irish?
16:05I'm a one-man equal opportunities revolution, ginger.
16:09What's that point?
16:12I'm a journalist, not a celebrity.
16:14I ask the questions.
16:16It's dead how you are.
16:20Where the fuck is this Cameron guy I'm supposed to report to?
16:24Jesus, you don't just ambush someone.
16:26I'm a serious fucking journalist.
16:29I don't discuss my career with the Scorpion.
16:32Shit, shut up.
16:36Come in.
16:43Where is he?
16:47Take a seat, Declan.
16:51What, you're...
16:52Cameron Cook.
16:55You were expecting a man, possibly queer, which you would have endured, but certainly not a woman, and God forbid,
17:01a black one.
17:02I thought you were a publicity girl.
17:03No, I'm a producery woman.
17:06Listen, I'm not...
17:07Prejudice?
17:07Of course not.
17:08You're an asshole to everyone.
17:10This isn't going to work, Tony.
17:12It's not a chat show.
17:13It's a serious program.
17:15I want to produce a serious program, too, but there are ways of...
17:17Oh, we're cutting up on a sofa with cushions.
17:19You've seen the set design, then.
17:20I know my audience, Tony.
17:23A fucking sofa.
17:24You might listen to Cameron.
17:26NBC howled when I poached her.
17:27Oh.
17:29Do you know Charles Fairbairn, controller of programs?
17:31Declan.
17:33We knew each other at the beam.
17:34You look, um...
17:35Fatter.
17:36I don't miss the canteen at the BBC, darling.
17:38And Ginger Banks, head of operations.
17:43I'm sorry, Tony.
17:44I produce myself.
17:46I've got Johnny Friedlander flying over for your first interview.
17:49Johnny Friedlander, the film star.
17:50No, Johnny Friedlander, my Dennis.
17:52I don't interview actors.
17:54Friedlander doesn't give interviews.
17:55Not since the sex tape.
17:56They're saying he could be the next Bond.
17:58They'll have trouble replacing Roger.
18:00I've been speaking to Jackie Kennedy.
18:02She'll just blabber on about her old boring publishing job.
18:04No, she wants to talk about life as a single American woman, actually.
18:08You could learn something, Cameron.
18:10Look, you two log horns if it turns you on.
18:12But don't forget, I hired you both because you can get ratings.
18:15So let's pull together and get them, yes?
18:17The BBC have put top of the pops against us in the schedule.
18:21So you need to be more popular than Jimmy Savile.
18:23Johnny Friedlander is a global megastar,
18:25and he hasn't given an interview in five years.
18:26People will watch this.
18:28Book Jackie for the next one.
18:36Okay, fine.
18:39But I do my own research.
18:42And no fucking sofa!
18:45Give him whatever fucking furniture he wants, all right?
18:48We all know it's not about the sofa.
18:49I don't need this shit, Tony.
18:50You brought me here to produce drama, not a chat show.
18:53I brought you here to be the cleverest person in the building
18:56and terrify the rest of them into pulling their socks up.
18:58So far, so good.
18:58You're a lion in a petting zoo.
19:00But we need big game like Declan
19:02to convince the IBA to renew our contract.
19:05We lose the franchise, there won't be any drama to produce.
19:07You'll be on the next boat back.
19:11I didn't come here on a boat.
19:13Forgive me, semantics.
19:14I flew here on fucking Concord.
19:17I paid for the ticket.
19:20Worth every penny.
19:39It's gorgeous.
19:40Yes.
19:41Look, there are badger's heads off at the top there.
19:44And in spring, the bluebells flame between the beach trees
19:48like little funts and burners.
19:51Sorry, I sound like an estate agent.
19:53I just can't believe this is all ours.
19:54Well, only to the bottom of the wood.
19:56And then Rupert will have you for trespassing.
20:00Well, thank you for walking me back.
20:03I'm really quite pissed.
20:08It's like Rupert's back home.
20:11Caitlin will be scaling the wall.
20:13Caitlin's all talk.
20:14She's sworn off and married until she's at least 35.
20:17Got too much to do, she says.
20:19And you?
20:21With parents like yours, you must have big plans.
20:24Oh.
20:25I'd like to be a cook.
20:26Oh.
20:26Following recipes and writing things down, I am.
20:29Don't know what to do with myself, really.
20:31How old are you?
20:3219?
20:3220.
20:34Your whole life ahead of you.
20:37It's 1986.
20:39You can have whatever you want.
20:42So Cosmo tells us.
20:48Back into battle.
20:50How many children do you have?
20:52Two.
20:52Three, counting my husband.
20:55He works for Corineum too.
20:56You didn't say.
20:57I talk about my husband as little as possible.
21:00He does enough of that himself.
21:04I'm coming to get you.
21:12I'm coming to get you.
21:14You can't catch me.
21:15Hello?
21:17What's going on?
21:34Oh, my God.
21:35There's fire.
21:37Oh, there's fire!
21:48Oh, come on.
21:52Oh, come on.
22:04Oh
22:30Damn
22:33Don't be shy, darling
22:36Your fields are on fire
22:38And
22:40It's the quickest way to get rid of the stubble after the harvest
22:43Could you...
22:45So you separated them on purpose?
22:47Sorry
22:49Who the fuck are you and why are you here?
22:51What about the animals? The rabbits and voles and birds?
22:53Yes, and the lovely ickle earwig
22:55Should I stop ploughing my fields because it's cool to wood lice?
22:57You're murdering them. Do you want me to give them a state funeral?
23:02What the hell?
23:05I called the fire brigade
23:09Get off my land before I call the police as well
23:12And take that brute back to its pigsty
23:16You are utterly
23:22Abhorrent
23:28Well I was born an original sinner
23:32I was born from original sin
23:35And if I had a dollar bill for all the things I've done
23:40There'd be a mountain of money piled up to my chin
23:43Gentlemen, you ordered a full body argentine
23:45And the wine, Basil
23:47Yes
23:48Have you tried this one before? It's very, very nice
23:51I'm assuming we're on expenses
23:53Baz enjoys helping me spend carineal money
23:55I do
23:57Oh, wonderful
23:59Now, I must say I loved your coverage of the royal wedding, Charles
24:02Thank you, Baz
24:03Andrew and Fergie are a modern day fairy tale
24:06Well, you know what they say about rare chance
24:08Enjoy, chaps
24:10That's Tony's bro
24:11Half-brother
24:12He got a good half
24:14The mother had a scandalous fling with an Argentinian polo player
24:17Basil was the result
24:19As was always the favourite with Daddy
24:21Despite his dubious origins
24:24And poor Tony just never managed to catch up
24:27Is he all a grudge?
24:27Tony, darling, he cultivates them like rare orchids
24:31Artists
24:32Tony cultivates artists
24:34You're in safe hands
24:35We're so lucky to have such a strong leader at the helm
24:38Hello, Archie
24:39I'll have the liver and marmalade
24:44And a radicchio salad
24:46And for you, sir?
24:48Steak
24:48Still mooing
24:49Oh
24:57Tony's son
24:58Working here for the summer holidays
25:00Teaching his children the value of money
25:02And tell me
25:03Is Cameron Cook as big a bitch as she seems?
25:07She is a genius
25:12So we ripped up the treatment
25:14Aged all the characters down ten years
25:16And gave them some desire
25:18The men were all dickless
25:19So I said to Tony
25:21Our audience wants to fantasise
25:23About being banged over the sink while doing the dishes
25:26And Four Men Went to Mow
25:28Is now the top rated network drama of the year
25:31Looking good, boys
25:32I smell like Sunday lunch
25:33You look delicious
25:34Everybody
25:35This is Lady Gosling
25:36Chairwoman of the Independent Broadcasting Authority
25:39Best behaviour, everyone
25:42And this is the Declan set
25:43Yes, very impressive
25:45You're rather impressive, aren't you?
25:48Where did Tony find you?
25:49New York
25:50Ah
25:51August 26th, 1970
25:53I marched with Gloria Steinem on the women's strike for equality
25:58My mom was on that march
26:01Don't iron while the strike is hot
26:04I think you'll be pleased with the efforts we've made to address your concern
26:07I am not your Barbie doll
26:11And Declan O'Hara's presence on the Carinium team
26:13It just nudges that political dial leftwards
26:16And the board
26:17If you want to hang on to your franchise then Carinium's board needs strengthening
26:21Well
26:22Have you thought of Rupert Campbell Black?
26:26Rupert's presence would give you legitimacy, Anthony
26:29I don't like taking people's franchises away
26:32But Rupert would give Carinium real sparkle
26:35I want to be convinced that I'm backing the right horse
26:39Tell me more about your mom wife
26:42My mom was into fallacies
26:43Really?
26:44I love you
26:51I mean, they don't tell you when you leave the BBC
26:55Yes, there's a lot more money in independent television
26:58But you're going up against 14 other regional companies just like you
27:02And then there's franchise renewal
27:04Well, that's what, once every five years?
27:06Yeah, but the anxiety is constant
27:08Because some other company can just waltz in and take your franchise away
27:13We may not have had biscuits at the BBC
27:15But all we had to do was make television
27:18Do you think I made the wrong move?
27:20Oh, no
27:21Granada have Coronation Street
27:22LWT has Blind Date
27:25Carinium now has you
27:27You're the golden goose, darling
27:28Say it back
27:29And let Tony fucking fatten you up
27:33The foie gras is divine here, by the way
27:46Make her love
28:01We wish I was coming too
28:03I've only been invited so I can drive going home when they're drunk
28:06You've already met Rupert, it's not fair
28:08He's always Willie
28:09He's vile
28:10Oh, that journalist is so lucky to be shagging him.
28:15What are you looking for?
28:16Oh, it's a bright blue Minnie.
28:20Do you think it's going to happen again?
28:21What?
28:23Mummy.
28:28Now we're here, I quite want to stay.
28:30Taggy!
28:32Oh, let's go!
28:36What?
28:37You're wearing Taggy's dress?
28:38Uh, I wore this to Bono's Christmas party.
28:41It was mine then too.
28:42Oh, you're so touchy these days.
28:44Look, we are going to go and meet the most wonderful people this afternoon.
28:48I'm excited.
28:52Leaving London's going to be good for her and Daddy, isn't it?
28:56It will be.
28:58I'll be okay.
29:00I promise.
29:14I'll be okay.
29:15Vernon will meet me when the poor act lies.
29:20Keys to the MG will be in his hands.
29:25Adjust to the driving and I'm on my way.
29:29It's all on the right side of my T-go, baby.
29:34Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
29:38Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
29:42Come sing me, love.
29:44Come sing me my tigre face.
29:47Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
29:49Well done, darling.
29:50Great turnout again, I must say.
29:53Yes, I've told them to up the proportion of orange juice
29:56in the Bucksville.
29:57Don't everyone plastered like last year.
29:59No.
30:00So, which one is it you want for your board?
30:03Is it the electronics millionaire chap?
30:05Freddie Jones.
30:06It's over there with a touch.
30:09I'll get him onto satellite technology.
30:11You can ask her if she's made any friends in the area yet.
30:13She's opened a boutique in Colchester,
30:15so you should offer to pop in and buy something.
30:20Hmm.
30:22Is Miss Cook coming?
30:25Couldn't drag her away from the studio.
30:28Declan goes live in a matter of days.
30:30And here's our star.
30:36Ah.
30:38You're even more beautiful in the flesh, Mrs. O'Hara.
30:42Declan.
30:42Tony.
30:43We're so glad you're here.
30:44Everyone's dying to meet some new people.
30:46We're all very bored of each other.
30:48The Maud O'Hara.
30:50My favourite actress, Baz.
30:52The better baddie.
30:54If you say so.
30:56So please you can make it, Bazel.
30:57Declan, let me show you off to some board members.
30:59Why don't we get you a drink?
31:01You were wonderful, Mrs. Lady Macbeth.
31:04Come on.
31:17Not going to Lord B's party.
31:19Hmm.
31:20I turn Tony down.
31:21Not my kind of crowd.
31:22Is that the only reason?
31:25What other reason would there be?
31:29I want your opinion.
31:30I'm not paid to have opinions.
31:32Mm-hmm.
31:33Now, I agreed to ditch the sofa, but why a desk?
31:35He's not a news anchor.
31:37Perhaps he wants to hide behind it.
31:39Huh.
31:40It's not because he hasn't got good legs.
31:42I've looked.
31:44Hmm-hmm.
31:47Steve, move the desk off the set for a minute.
31:49Declan asked for the desk.
31:50Yeah, I want to see it without the desk.
31:51It's just we built the desk.
31:52I'm not telling you to burn a damn thing.
31:54I'm telling you to move it so I can see the set.
31:55Can you do that?
31:56All right, keep your wig on.
31:59That's funny.
32:01You know what isn't funny?
32:03Looking for another fucking job.
32:15It's better.
32:16See?
32:17It's better.
32:24Oh, Rupert's arrived.
32:34Really?
32:35That's Gerald.
32:36Rupert's aide.
32:38We go way back.
32:41Where's your gorgeous Lord and Master?
32:43He's not here.
32:44Damn it.
32:45I have a pile of papers for him to sign it.
32:46I can only pin him down at parties.
32:48You can pin me down later if you like.
32:54Well, overall, thank you.
32:56Actually, I think I might just...
33:00Lizzie.
33:02Lizzie.
33:03I think the mum wants you.
33:06He doesn't want me.
33:08That's my husband.
33:10That's all right.
33:31Thank you, darling.
33:32I feel like I should be reading the news.
33:34Um, fortunately we have the wonderful James Verica to do that instead.
33:39Um, now, you know what, I won't keep you from your lunch.
33:41Uh, but I'm very glad to have you all here to celebrate Carinium's newest star with me.
33:47Ladies and gentlemen, Declan O'Hara.
33:49CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
33:55Declan joins Carinium, of course, on the crest of a wave.
33:58Uh, wonderful ratings for our prestige drama Four Men Went to Mow.
34:03Who knew arable farming could be so sexy?
34:06Uh, and with revenue from our sales to America,
34:10we are confident that this is going to be our most successful autumn ever!
34:16LAUGHTER
34:17Jumped over six full grown men!
34:26Oh, my God, it's him.
34:28So sorry, sorry.
34:30Didn't mean to steal your thunder.
34:32No fire engines with you today.
34:33LAUGHTER
34:36Um, please, uh, go on to your speech.
34:39Oh, hello, darling.
34:41Hello.
34:42Um, but, Declan, you are undoubtedly the jewel in the Carinium crown.
34:48And I know everyone here joins me in welcoming you,
34:51your wife, Maud, and your daughter, Agatha, to our Cotchester family.
34:56Declan O'Hara, ladies and gentlemen.
34:57CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
35:06Lunch, everybody! Good lunch!
35:09Thank you, Tom.
35:16Is it loving in your eyes all the way?
35:23If I listened to your lies, would you say?
35:30I am a man
35:32So if I can...
35:34Look at all this gorgeous food.
35:36I am a man
35:39Who doesn't know...
35:40People are always saying,
35:42you should write a book, Mrs Jones.
35:43You've led such a fascinating life.
35:45How funny.
35:46People are always telling me I should open a shop.
35:49Oh!
35:51Er, so where have you moved to?
35:53Witcher, Green Lawns.
35:54It's a lovely house now we've added the extension and double glazed over those draughty old windows.
35:58Those Victorians must have worn a lot of jumpers.
36:01Oh!
36:03Very good.
36:04But the only house I know round there is Bottom Hollow Court.
36:06You know, Green Lawns sounded so much prettier, especially now we've landscaped the garden.
36:10No tatties, Fred Fred!
36:16Lord Baddingham is wooing my Fred Fred for his board.
36:19I'm encouraging him to get more cultured.
36:21We could do with a few more caring wives of Corinna, Mrs Jones.
36:25Please.
36:27Call me Mousy, all of my friends do.
36:29Shall we go and find some way to perch?
36:31Let's. Mousy.
36:34Do move on to something soft, darling. We don't want the humpball again.
36:37I do so enjoy your couple.
36:42My husband tells me you're one of the most powerful men in England.
36:47Yeah, I suppose I am.
36:48And I expect to run out a few potatoes.
36:53One potato, two potato, three.
36:56Shall we find my booze?
37:01Hello, Duncan.
37:03I'll see you later.
37:05We were all so surprised when you left the BBC for Corinna.
37:09Do you miss your integrity?
37:10Or do you feel lighter without it?
37:13What was it the private eye called you?
37:15The first not quite a lady of Fleet Street, was it?
37:23Tag.
37:24See my mother around?
37:26No, I haven't.
37:30I've met a few athletes in my time, they always get what they want.
37:32And what do we want?
37:35To win.
37:36Well, sadly, I'm not show jumping anymore.
37:39Well, you're still athletic.
37:43You're certainly too disturbing to be living across the valley.
37:51Ah, there you are.
37:53Finally.
37:55Shurgar himself.
37:57Mr. Cumberblack.
37:59Getting to know the neighbours?
38:01Huh.
38:03Taggy, have you met Rupert?
38:05No, I think I'd remember.
38:08Agatha, that's my daughter.
38:09Taggy.
38:11I hear you did a hatchet job on Paul Stratton.
38:14That I'd have loved to see.
38:16Hmm.
38:20She make a dent in Tony's whisky collection.
38:25Why not?
38:38Why not?
38:41Are you hiding again?
38:43No, they're just at the end of Das Rheingold.
38:45I need you out there with me.
38:47Bloody Rupert, I want to get this over with.
38:49You'll come here.
38:54Can't believe I'm going to him for legitimacy.
38:57All he did for his status was to be born into him.
38:59It's just social currency, darling.
39:00It's the way the world works.
39:02Public school, why go?
39:03Well, should we send Archie to a comprehensive and save on the school fees?
39:06Hmm.
39:07He'll only make you feel inferior if you give him permission.
39:11Now, deep breath, shoulders back.
39:14Goodbye.
39:19Oh.
39:19Working the weekend?
39:20I hope Tony's paying you handsomely, Ginger.
39:23Come on, Docs.
39:26Took some digging, but I found these.
39:28I think you'll enjoy them.
39:30It's a little Declan O'Hara insurance.
39:33Ooh.
39:34Ooh.
39:57Peaceful is the country that is strongly earned.
40:00Oh.
40:02Baddingham family motto.
40:05Circa 1972.
40:10Lord Pop Pop, Tony's father, made his millions in munitions during the war.
40:15That's why Tony married Lady Monica of the Glen.
40:19He had Daddy's cash, Mon Mon had the house, and what Tony wants most of all, class.
40:28And why are the English so obsessed with class?
40:32Money.
40:32Declan?
40:33I was only asking Mr. Cumberblock a question, Lord.
40:37Rupert.
40:38You've met Declan, then?
40:39Anyone want another drink?
40:40Oh.
40:41You found one?
40:42Hmm.
40:44It stays in Scotch.
40:45Did Monica choose it?
40:48Ignore us.
40:49Our families go back a long way.
40:51Not that far.
40:53Listen, er, can I have a word, Rupert, in private?
40:56A business proposition.
40:57Well, we're all friends here.
40:59Nothing you could say to me that dear Morty shouldn't hear?
41:02I am not drinking sherry with the wives while the men have all the fun.
41:06No, you want to be here when Tony asks me to be on his board.
41:16Er, er, well, all right.
41:20It's a lucrative game, I thought you wanted.
41:23It's so hard to take you seriously, Tony, you just always sound like you're playing Monopoly.
41:28Ha!
41:29The answer's no.
41:31Lady Gosling thinks I can give you some class, help you keep your franchise, but I'm not using my family
41:37name so you can buy yourself a bigger helicopter.
41:40Er, Tony, Paul Stratton's here.
41:45Ah!
41:48Sorry we're late, everyone.
41:50Bit of trouble getting out of bed, actually.
41:52Yeah, you know what newlyweds are like.
41:55Paul, mind yourself in those jeans you bend over, your eyes will pop out.
41:58And the new Mrs Stratton.
42:01Now, you are a very welcome upgrade.
42:04Well done, Paul.
42:08Do you know Declan O'Hara?
42:09Oh, yes, yeah.
42:10You did us all a favour, actually, Mr O'Hara.
42:13Good to get everything out in the open.
42:15We're insanely happy.
42:16Aren't we, Paul?
42:17I'm a new man.
42:22Excuse me.
42:41I heard about you catching Campbell Black playing tennis in the Noddy.
42:47That's enough to upset anyone.
42:49Who knows about that?
42:51Well, the whole valley knows about the fire engines.
42:56And I know who the mystery woman was now, don't I?
43:00I'm going to be thebloody!
43:15I am a little girl.
43:17But I don't think she was just out of him.
43:23I know who the devil.
43:24I have a baby but it does all theollo.
43:28Yeah.
43:52You know you're dancing with the devil, don't you?
43:55Says the man who works for Thatcher.
43:56Let's hope you've got rhythm Oh, incoming.
44:23You bastard!
44:26You've been shagging Sarah Stratton, too.
44:34It was only tennis.
45:00Fuck!
45:01Ah!
45:02Jump!
45:04Ouch!
45:22I'm going to ruin you!
45:37I'm so sorry.
45:42I wouldn't mind, but that's my car.
45:57So it's Rupert now, is it?
45:59It was a conversation.
46:00I was conversing.
46:01You were all over him.
46:02Oh, now I can't even talk to a man without you assuming that I'm after him.
46:06Oh, grow up!
46:06Oh, God.
46:07I didn't ask to come here.
46:09You're the one that took the check and just sold us all out.
46:11Yeah, Maude.
46:12It's a horrible house and you live a terrible life.
46:14Well, these are our people now.
46:16Oh, my God.
46:16They're all horses and dogs and houses and cars and who's got the longest fucking driveway?
46:22Oh, my God.
46:23The men are all desperate to ride anything as long as they're not married to it.
46:26The wives, Jesus, they haven't had an orgasm since pony club camp.
46:38That's not us, is it?
46:43Everyone was looking at you.
46:45Huh?
46:47And did you like that?
46:50Oh, God.
46:50How much?
46:51How much?
46:52How much is it like that?
46:54Tell me.
46:55I'm all right.
46:57I'm all right.
46:57Help her.
47:06Oh!
47:31I don't know.
47:51It's too much, man.
48:21Yes.
48:23Yes.
48:24Fine.
48:26No, it was a buffet table.
48:31Of course.
48:32See you at 9am.
48:34You have a good evening, Prime Minister.
48:42Come on, dogs.
48:43Daddy's in trouble again.
49:03Mummy and Daddy are clearly back on track.
49:06Was Rupert there?
49:07Yeah.
49:09I think so.
49:19As she gazed at the O'Caseous for their burnished bohemian beauty, entering this world of unbridled
49:26passion.
49:27She worried.
49:29Little did Dermot O'Casey know that he had brought his family into the wild.
49:34Into a world of untamable beasts, giving in to their basest needs.
49:48Hungry for sex.
49:55Hungry for status.
50:00Hungry for love.
50:10Hungry for power.
50:12You know, Campbell Black is finished after today.
50:15Hungry for comfort.
50:17Are you coming to bed?
50:18You had better be stopped while I'm not sure when I get through that.
50:24Good dogs.
50:25Good dogs.
50:26Lie down.
50:34My eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord.
50:48I can't get enough.
50:49I just can't get enough.
50:51I just can't get enough.
50:53I just can't get enough.
50:54I just can't get enough.
50:54Because as seductive as his predators might be, one should always beware of being eaten.
51:01Oh, yes!
51:25This is a surprise.
51:27The Prime Minister wasn't thrilled about seeing her minister's private lives splashed all over the papers.
51:32Paul Stratton's been shuffled to the back benches.
51:35Oh, dear.
51:35Have you lost your job?
51:37No, not at all.
51:38No.
51:38No, Mrs. Thatcher's given me a promotion.
51:41I'm her new minister for sport, so...
51:46I couldn't have done it without you.
51:49You had to come all this way to tell me that?
51:53I want you to keep your grubby little nose out of my affairs.
51:59Maggie will see through you've seen enough, you overprivileged cunt.
52:07I have to try harder than that if you want to beat me, Lord Battingham.
52:18Come on.
52:21Come on.
52:31Go on.
52:32Go on.
52:37Go on.
52:40Go on.
52:44Go on.
52:46Go on.
52:46Go on.
52:47Go on.
52:47Go on.
52:48Go on.
52:48Go on.
52:50Go on.
52:53Go on.
52:56Go on.
52:58Go on.
52:58Go on.
52:59Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!
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