- 13 hours ago
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00:26Oh, it's got me.
00:46Oh, hello. They didn't say that you were, uh...
00:49Oh, yeah, sorry. None of my forms.
00:52Catholic?
00:53Yeah.
00:54Gotta say, I haven't been to Confession in close to ten years now.
00:58Well, sadly, you're totally damned.
01:01Unless you can fix my car, that is.
01:05Oh!
01:07Oh!
01:08Oh!
01:08Oh!
01:09Oh!
01:10Oh!
01:14Oh!
01:17Oh!
01:20Oh!
01:22Oh!
01:24Oh!
01:29Anna?
01:31Sister Anna!
01:32We have a visitor needs feeding.
02:04I'd like to bring a few girls from my choir for a visit.
02:07How old, darling?
02:08Fourteen to seventeen, mostly still in education.
02:11Devoted?
02:12Some are finding the path.
02:14Any dependents?
02:16I'm sorry?
02:17Sister, good.
02:19Father Hicks has travelled a long way.
02:23Only an hour and a half.
02:24I was late because my car decided to explode when it was halfway here.
02:28Oh, how dramatic.
02:30Yeah, I had a burst, something.
02:32Which means a longer bus ride home.
02:34You need to eat?
02:35No, it's not a problem.
02:36I can just get a snack from the shop on the way.
02:38Sister Anna can do better than a scotch egg from a newsagent.
02:42She sets the bar so high.
02:43Since she took over the kitchen, all of us have put on weight.
02:46Something simple?
02:47Yeah, yeah, thank you.
02:49But don't put yourself out.
02:50Scrambled eggs?
02:51Some bread?
02:52Maybe sure.
02:54That's two thank yous, which is one too many.
02:57Good.
02:57Yes, no dependents.
02:59If the girls have children...
03:00Even for a visit.
03:02The visit is to see whether they might fit, no?
03:06We are not here to be watched.
03:08We are here to be joined.
03:10No one with children.
03:11Or romantic entanglements.
03:13You want me to give them a quiz?
03:15Is that too hard a question to answer?
03:18Um...
03:19Then let us agree a date.
03:21I'll fetch our diary.
03:25You're new to the kitchen?
03:27Uh, no.
03:28It's been 11 years, I think.
03:32Time passes slowly here.
03:35Been outside?
03:36Yes, yes.
03:37Bulbing for the new season.
03:39What are you growing?
03:40Children.
03:42Tiny, tiny little children in the middle of the flowers,
03:45which we pluck in May, we dry them through the summer,
03:47and then we eat them in September.
03:53Uh, kale, lettuce, spinach, garlic.
03:57My cabbages are legendary.
03:59I don't like cabbage.
04:01Well, then I judge you for that.
04:0611 years.
04:08It's been a long while.
04:09It's been over 20 since I took my vows.
04:13And you?
04:14Where are you?
04:16Uh, Bristol.
04:16Easton.
04:18What do you grow in Easton?
04:20Huh.
04:22Um, currently it's spending a lot of energy
04:25trying to get needle exchange opened.
04:27Oh, uh, a basketball hoop in a local park.
04:30They sound like good things to be doing.
04:32Frustrating.
04:34And I'm trying to convince people to run a harvest festival out of the church.
04:45I can't know whether the girls are in relationships.
04:50It would be inappropriate to ask.
04:53And I can't be involved in any duplicity against the abbess.
04:58You'll find a way.
04:59I fail to see how...
05:00You should have talked to her about this.
05:02I'm sorry if I'm being...
05:03It's the rules she set.
05:04It's my job.
05:05To protect all of them.
05:06It'll mean we can't come.
05:08Well, then don't come.
05:12Ow.
05:13Ow.
05:14Uh, cold water.
05:23You won't call too badly.
05:27Oh.
05:29Sorry.
05:32No, no, I, uh...
05:37I should say thank you.
05:41I'm sorry if I, um...
05:44If that was the wrong thing to do.
05:47Sorry.
05:48No.
05:51And that's, uh...
05:52Well, that's two thank yous, which is one too many.
06:02Uh, no, let me do that.
06:03No, no, no, no.
06:04You should sit down.
06:05No, no, please.
06:06No, just tell me where...
06:18This looks beautiful.
06:22Just some eggs.
06:23Huh.
06:24Ah, bless us.
06:25Oh, Lord.
06:27Ah, and these your gift.
06:29For these your gifts, which...
06:30We are about to receive from your bounty.
06:32And from the gracious work of...
06:34Your servant, sister Anna.
06:36Through Christ, our Lord.
06:39Amen.
06:39Amen.
06:45I...
06:46I don't like the word servant.
06:49I don't like it either.
06:55There's been an accident.
06:56A?
07:23I don't like it.
07:25I don't like the word servant.
07:53Morning, sister.
07:54May the Lord bless this day.
07:58Yes.
07:59And if he could arrange for it not to rain so the polytunnel doesn't get swamped again I'd really appreciate
08:04it.
08:26Molly tell my mum uncle David's in the bathroom.
08:29What am I not allowed?
08:30Mum put in a rota.
08:31I didn't see a rota.
08:32Jesus.
08:33Bad reasons.
08:35I asked you to please.
08:37No.
08:37It's not hard to just switch it off.
08:39I can't even hear what she's saying.
08:40That's nice.
08:41I'm having a text so you can.
08:43No.
08:44No.
08:44I asked you.
08:47It's not hard to just switch it off.
08:49I know but I don't mind if I want to talk to you.
08:52Sorry.
09:03Oh these are lovely.
09:05You are lovely Graham.
09:06These are vegetables.
09:09Morning.
09:10Morning.
09:10They've put up the price of dahlias again.
09:14Bastards think we're a soft touch.
09:16You're most dry.
09:17Oh you know I don't like hosts.
09:20Father Christie agreed with me as a considerably more oral thrush around than they used to be.
09:29Do you think it's okay for the abbess of the trip to ask that I only bring girls who aren't
09:36in relationships?
09:38Yes.
09:39You do.
09:41Not small minded to me.
09:44I am small minded both by profession and inclination.
09:49How's your mother?
09:51Smiling on.
09:54Tina's back.
09:55Is she?
09:57She's with her dad.
10:02In the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit.
10:07Amen.
10:08The Lord be with you.
10:10And with us with you.
10:12And with us with you.
10:13Lord we have sinned against you.
10:16Lord have mercy.
10:18Lord have mercy.
10:19Show us your mercy and your love.
10:22And grant us your salvation.
10:27May almighty God have mercy on us, forgive us our sins, and bring us into everlasting life.
10:34Amen.
10:35Amen.
10:36Shall we start with a hymn?
10:42Amen.
10:49Shall we start with a hymn?
10:49Bless me Father because I have sinned.
10:51It's been 24 hours since my last confession.
10:54I remember.
10:57During which I have committed three acts of blasphemy and two of self-abasement.
11:05I mean masturbation Father.
11:09Of course you do.
11:11I don't mean to hurt people.
11:17But I do.
11:18I think you've been very hard on yourself.
11:23I am vile.
11:25You're not.
11:28You're not.
11:46Are you going to invite me in or are you going to leave a lady on the doorstep?
11:49Oh, you're a deaf one.
11:52Do you wish to say anything?
11:56No.
11:58Do you need absolution?
12:01Yes.
12:09How was it?
12:11Well, half the kids look as if they've got malnutrition and half the adults jaundice.
12:15The best just seem depressed.
12:17We'll pray for them.
12:19And help as best we can.
12:22Has the school group arrived?
12:23Yeah.
12:24Important, I'm told, by the prioress.
12:26For them to see us.
12:27For the recruitment push.
12:29It does make one feel one is in a zoo rather.
12:33Time for a whiskey.
12:34I got sent a rather fine mauled by the bishop.
12:37Am I chasing away some of the feelings of the day?
12:38He shouldn't encourage you.
12:40It's because he wants you to make him some whiskey mermaid.
12:43Well, I can try.
12:44I told him you're not a takeaway.
12:46He'll take what he's given.
12:48Bless me, Father, for I have sinned.
12:50It's been three weeks since my last confession.
12:53How have you been?
12:56I'm okay.
13:01You know, I'm supposed to pretend I never know who's on the other side of this.
13:07I took a trip to the convent, the Womack.
13:11I'm going to take some members of the girls' choir.
13:12And I'd like to ask your mum if you'd like to join it.
13:17The trip.
13:18Thanks.
13:19Is it still what you want?
13:22Yeah.
13:24Yeah.
13:28Then maybe I'll come around the house, talk to her.
13:37He's out most evenings.
13:39At the restaurant.
13:51Hi, Biancas.
13:53For the Hicks.
13:54Um, I'd hoped to talk to you about Tina.
13:56She said tonight might be a good night to come over.
14:16Tina!
14:17Tina!
14:20Tina!
14:20I'll go on what you got.
14:21Do you need help?
14:23Do you need help?
14:23There are things I can do to-
14:24You can leave if you're going to be trying that.
14:26Tina!
14:27I'm coming!
14:31Um, how do you feel about Tina making the decision to lead a consecrated life?
14:36I think she's a kid who doesn't know which way's up.
14:44Uh, did you grow up a Catholic, Bianca?
14:47Why's he asking all the questions to me?
14:49You're the adult.
14:51He wants to check you're okay.
14:53Is there anyone who wants to hide in a convent for her life?
14:56Uh, I don't think it's hiding.
14:59But I do understand why commitment, faith, feels a strange thing at this point.
15:06There's a amount of people that ask me things like,
15:07how do you have to wear it all the time?
15:09Do you never have sex?
15:11He's trying to shock us now.
15:13The priest talking about sex.
15:15And I do think celibacy is an important part of Tina's commitments,
15:18but it's not the most important part.
15:21Marx is always quoted as saying,
15:23religion is the opium of the masses.
15:25What he actually said was,
15:27religion is the sight of the oppressed creature,
15:30the heart of a heartless world,
15:32and the soul of soulless conditions.
15:34It is the opium of the people.
15:37I don't go to church, can't stand the dither of it all.
15:40Dither?
15:42Well, it seems to me the Bible says do good, then we'll do it.
15:44Stop dithering about with incense and myrrh.
15:47Mum.
15:49I think you're right about the dither.
15:52But, I think what Marx was saying is that the church,
15:54by venerating virtue, does something quite important.
15:58And, I think right now, society needs that virtue.
16:03Look, she says she wanted it, she goes...
16:06Good.
16:08Then, I'd like to take you, Tina, with a few other girls to visit.
16:12Why not?
16:13I think that by visiting there, she'll get much better sense,
16:16if that's what she needs.
16:25Um...
16:25Should I talk to Phil?
16:26No.
16:28Well, that's everything, Father Hicks.
16:47Sister, it's your postulant.
16:49She was found with a phone.
16:50A phone?
16:51She's been keeping it hidden.
16:52She's been keeping it hidden.
17:11It's not easy, when we lose track of ourselves, to find our way back.
17:18Can I ask...
17:20Why did you feel you needed your phone?
17:23I...
17:23I don't know.
17:27My parents were horrified.
17:29And I said I wanted to be a nun.
17:33My mum...
17:34Said I was throwing myself away.
17:37She thought it was over some...
17:39Was...
17:40Was there a boy?
17:42No.
17:46You?
17:48Not a boy.
17:53It's my friend, Susie.
18:00Is... is that okay?
18:02With me?
18:04Yes.
18:05With God?
18:08I would hope so.
18:11With you?
18:18Do you want to stay?
18:22Do you...
18:23Want me to stay?
18:28Oh, Empe...
18:30If there is one choice...
18:33That has to be yours...
18:35It is this.
18:37Do...
18:38Do you...
18:39Do you ever doubt...
18:41Your...
18:42Your choice?
18:44Faith...
18:45Is dependent on doubt.
18:48Without doubt...
18:50There is no faith.
18:52It is.
19:08So...
19:20Lord...
19:21There is no faith.
19:27Oh, my God.
19:55She seems much better this morning.
19:58Good.
20:01So I've prayed upon it and decided I have no choice but to ask her to leave.
20:07No, you can't.
20:08When someone is a postulant...
20:10She's been with us for over a year.
20:14When someone is a postulant, they are here to be judged by us and by themselves as to whether they
20:19can find the patience and love to belong.
20:21It's one mistake.
20:23A crucial one.
20:24I devote myself to God in every way.
20:27I isolate myself and give myself to prayer, but I do want to keep checking social media for what my
20:32friends are up to.
20:33May I speak?
20:35I have been guiding her, and I don't think you understand.
20:39She is a genuine, kind...
20:41Good.
20:41My role in this convent is to make the decisions others won't.
20:45It's to lead.
20:46Your role is not to abandon the poor girl.
20:49Francesca, please!
20:49No, you do not use that name, my name, in anger.
20:53It is not a weapon.
20:57No, I apologise, Abbas.
21:06Our commitment cannot be predicated on a lie.
21:09She vowed to put away everything from her other life.
21:11She couldn't.
21:12She lied.
21:13To her sisters and to God.
21:16She made a vow, and she broke it.
21:18She was weak, yes.
21:21But these young people, they are growing up in an unforgiving world.
21:26Perhaps our commitment might take them a little bit longer to learn.
21:30Please.
21:32Please, give her a chance to find her path.
21:48She remains a postulant for at least another year.
21:50She has to prove herself all over again, yes?
21:54Yes.
21:56She's lucky to have you.
22:00Okay.
22:03There will be a time when I am ready to take quieter duties here.
22:09I believe you are the right person to succeed me.
22:13But if you do, you may discover that these decisions are harder than they might appear.
22:28Mr. Wonderful Deanery meeting last night.
22:31Falling congregations since Covid had to get people back believing.
22:36Anyone suggest another Covid?
22:38Make them beg before the incoming flood.
22:41Don't forget the accounts need your sign-off.
22:44The Bishop needs to know precisely what we've got to set terms for the underfloor heating brigade.
22:49Master, could you run this morning for me?
22:51Sorry?
22:53I just realized I've got some pressing Christmas.
22:55Could you leave me this morning for me?
22:57No.
23:16Bless me, Father, for I have sinned.
23:19It's been four days since my last confession.
23:24I've been angry with others, impatient, shouted at the abbess.
23:31I was cruel to Sister Justine when she needed support.
23:38And I have been having immoral thoughts.
23:45Lost.
23:47Lost.
23:53You have to say something to that, Father Clara.
23:55You can't leave me on my own with that one.
23:59Go on.
24:02Go on.
24:04Go on.
24:06What does that mean?
24:09It means go on.
24:19It's not like I haven't had thoughts before.
24:23I have struggled at times with feelings of desire.
24:29But this time, well, these times, these feelings, they're so specific.
24:43And that's all I can say, really.
24:46I am ashamed.
24:48And I'm confused.
24:50Confused.
24:51Mainly.
24:56Three Hail Marys.
25:03Yes, Father.
25:06And be careful.
25:14God, the Father of mercies through the death and resurrection of his Son, has reconciled
25:19the world to himself and sent the Holy Spirit for the forgiveness of our sins.
25:24Through the ministry of the Church, may God give you pardon and peace, and I absolve you
25:29from your sins, in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Lord, and of the
25:34Amen.
25:35I don't know.
26:14I don't know.
26:14I don't know.
26:28Hello.
26:30This is a surprise.
26:33I just thought I'd come back to talk to the abbess.
26:37I felt like I'd left a few of her concerns on the table.
26:41Right.
26:43I was hoping for more beautiful eggs, of course.
26:46I knew you were the pushy sort.
26:49I don't see your cabbages.
26:52Only if you get me really drunk.
27:00Are you that nervous of me, abbess, that you'd look around a boring garden to avoid it?
27:04Boring garden?
27:05Doubt is that.
27:06No.
27:09But why are you here?
27:16Can I tell you about a girl I'd like to bring you here?
27:18You can tell me about anything you like, but I am no use with the abbess.
27:22Um, her mother, the girl's mother is being hit by the father.
27:31I think it's possible the girl's been hit too.
27:33I raise it with social services.
27:34I raise it with the diocese safeguarding unit.
27:37They both do something, but nothing ever happens.
27:43Sorry, you're not interested in-
27:45What is it you're doubting?
27:48Sorry?
27:49Your ability to deal with it, her response to it, or what else it is that you should be doing
27:53to help it?
27:54Uh, you're remarkably frank.
28:03Why are you looking at me like that?
28:06I just wish I had your conviction.
28:09You have certainty. I mean, it's a good thing.
28:12I haven't been certain about anything since 2001.
28:16What happened then?
28:18I became a nun.
28:26Well, here are my cabbages.
28:29They're beautiful.
28:31You like that word.
28:33Although these might actually be beautiful.
28:35How do you keep the slugs away?
28:37Look underneath.
28:39They don't like eggshells.
28:41Cuts them up.
28:42Aha.
28:46Helping the girl, and your needle exchanges, no hopes.
28:50It's impressive.
28:51Doesn't feel impressive.
28:54Here was I thinking you were trying to impress me.
29:00I, um, I struggle. I fail. I intervene when I shouldn't. I...
29:08You're a click of the fingers, Christian.
29:10I'm sorry?
29:11You want everything sold in a click of the fingers, and if it isn't, then it costs you.
29:17You have a brutal way of describing things.
29:19Well, I'm sure you're right.
29:21No. No, I admire click of the fingers, Christians.
29:24They see a problem, and they try to solve it.
29:28Well, I'm about as far from a click of the fingers, Christian, as you can get.
29:33But you followed your conviction?
29:36To live a consecrated life?
29:40Yes.
29:42Well, this has become my home.
29:45For better or worse.
29:48Make it sound like you're not happy here.
29:53It's a, it's a good thing.
29:55What you're doing.
29:57And, I'm sorry, conviction is, is another word I don't like.
30:02I'll fetch the Abbas.
30:04You know, you asked us to make an appointment before coming here.
30:08We are enclosed.
30:11I can find the Abbas, please.
30:13Get on with your duties.
30:17I should have stabbed you. I'm sorry.
30:40I should have stabbed you. I'm sorry.
30:46I'm sorry, Pastor.
30:54I'll try it.
30:56I'll try it.
31:07I'll try it.
31:34Father Hicks, Father.
31:40You're, uh, you're leaving already?
31:43Oh, uh, well, you were right.
31:45The abbess told me to make an appointment.
31:47She's, um, she's quite formidable.
31:51You all are.
31:55I, uh, I didn't mean to be cruel before.
31:59Uh, no, you weren't.
32:02Brutal. Cruel.
32:04Oh.
32:06I didn't mean, when I used that word, I didn't mean...
32:08Yes, I just thought, uh, thank you for sharing your struggles with me.
32:15I didn't mean to be dismissive.
32:17Sister, you've done nothing wrong.
32:22Anna. Call me Anna.
32:25David.
32:31The girl whose mother's being hurt.
32:37Maybe, maybe she could find peace here, but here is not the only peace.
32:43Particularly if she's leaving her mother behind.
32:46We are not a refuge.
32:48It doesn't work.
32:49If we're a refuge, and...
32:52And we can't save her for you.
32:56No.
32:59We've devoted...
33:00We devote ourselves to something better.
33:04And I...
33:05I think the question we all have to ask ourselves,
33:09David, is...
33:10Is if we've done something right.
33:13If we've listened to our hearts, and we've done something right.
33:21You should have been a preacher.
33:25You're laughing at me.
33:28I don't think I ever want to laugh at you.
33:32I know.
33:40I, um...
33:41Must get to church.
33:44Bye.
33:49Bye.
33:52Bye.
33:53Bye.
34:02Bye.
34:16Bye.
34:19Bye.
34:20Bye.
34:20Bye.
34:20Bye.
34:25Morning.
34:26Do you mind if you stay away from my daughter?
34:28My daughter sought spiritual guidance.
34:30Yeah, well, just stay the fuck away, yeah, big man.
34:35A bit early in the morning for a drink, isn't it, Phil?
34:41Stealing kids off the poor, is that what you do?
34:43Just take them, stick them in a fucking castle and throw away the key.
34:51Look, why don't we go inside and talk about this properly?
34:55I do recognize your teen is a spiritual guide, too, so...
35:05Do not tell me, or my daughter, or my fucking wife, what's right.
35:13Oh, I'm sorry, sister. I was just going to wake you, and then I caught sight of this fawn.
35:37Well, I'm sure you want them chased away before they eat your vegetables.
35:42No, my garden's well protected.
35:44We had a deer that used to come right up to the windows.
35:47Must be forty, no, sixty years ago.
35:51What'd you feed it?
35:53Well, that once tried to stroke its nose.
35:56It didn't like that.
35:59I was scared it wouldn't come back.
36:02But it did.
36:04And then, it didn't.
36:09I always worried.
36:11Perhaps someone took advantage of its innocence and killed it.
36:16I did miss it.
36:20Have you really been here for sixty years, Polly?
36:24Seventy-four.
36:25I came when I was sixteen.
36:28A wonderful life.
36:33I'm pleased you've stood in defence of Bimpe.
36:36I think she has what it takes.
36:39I really do.
36:39I really do.
36:41.
36:41Let's go.
37:13Let's go.
37:43Let's go.
38:16Let's go.
38:41Let's go.
39:11Let's go.
39:12Let's go.
39:14Let's go.
39:15Let's go.
39:16Let's go.
39:16Let's go.
39:16Let's go.
39:18Let's go.
39:18Let's go.
39:18Let's go.
39:19Let's go.
39:21Let's go.
39:22Let's go.
39:58Let's go.
40:21Let's go.
40:29Let's go.
40:52Let's go.
41:21Let's go.
41:23Let's go.
41:23Let's go.
41:23Let's go.
41:23Let's go.
41:44Let's go.
41:46Let's go.
42:11Let's go.
42:31Let's go.
42:46Let's go.
42:47Let's go.
42:48Let's go.
42:51Let's go.
42:52Let's go.
42:52Let's go.
42:52Let's go.
42:52Let's go.
42:52Let's go.
43:02Let's go.
43:21Let's go.
43:39Let's go.
43:51Let's go.
43:56Let's go.
44:19Let's go.
44:35Let's go.
45:05Let's go.
45:11Let's go.
45:15Let's go.
45:28Let's go.
45:42Let's go.
45:43Let's go.
45:56Let's go.
46:00Let's go.
46:06Let's go.
46:11Let's go.