Rivals - Season 1 Episode 8 - video Dailymotion

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Transcript

00:00:08Hello, good evening, and welcome to How to Stay Married with me, James Vereker, and over here,

00:00:15the woman lucky enough to call herself my better half, my wife, Lizzie.

00:00:21Thank you, darling. Hello.

00:00:23Now, a wise man once said, marriage isn't a battlefield, it's a partnership,

00:00:28and married people should be comrades, not rivals.

00:00:32Though that's sometimes easier said than done.

00:00:36How do you stay connected after 20 years of children, careers, everything?

00:00:42How do you keep each other interested over dinner or in the bedroom when the honeymoon period comes to an

00:00:48end?

00:00:49We'll be chatting to a range of celebrity and ordinary couples to ask, how do they make it work for

00:00:55them?

00:00:55And we'll find out if the grass really is greener on the other side of the fence.

00:01:14We'll be quizzing the experts on how to keep a marriage fresh without seeking excitement elsewhere.

00:01:20We'll discuss how to deal with the pain if one of you breaks the rules.

00:01:25And how to keep your feet on the ground when you're thinking about walking away.

00:01:52Gosh, that's a lot to get through, isn't it?

00:01:54Well, we did say, till death do us part.

00:01:57So, stay tuned.

00:01:59And stay married.

00:02:19I got to deal with it.

00:02:23I got to be patient.

00:02:28And I got to get through.

00:02:29And I got to take home.

00:02:30I got to look my feet off now.

00:02:30And I got to get through.

00:02:30Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

00:02:54Good afternoon.

00:02:56This is Rupert Campbell Black and Peefer Chomping and Bispy reminding you to vote to

00:03:00The conservative, keep the Cotswolds blue.

00:03:04Hi!

00:03:06I mean, that's the cheese.

00:03:09Cotswold blue.

00:03:12Don't let live attack our cheese!

00:03:23First I can rely on your love.

00:03:25I love you.

00:03:31It's lovely to see you again this morning. Thank you so much.

00:03:34Oh baby, I'll take you down, I'll take you down.

00:03:40But no one's ever gone before.

00:03:43If you want more, if you want more, more, more.

00:03:49I said jump, for my love.

00:03:52Jumping!

00:03:54Oh, thanks.

00:03:55What are you talking about?

00:03:58I've got lots of signatures.

00:04:00What do you think about doing this professionally?

00:04:01Very funny.

00:04:04What is?

00:04:05Oh yeah, let me, there's an act to...

00:04:07Do you mind?

00:04:26Patrick O'Hara.

00:04:27I finished university.

00:04:29I'm a real grown-up now.

00:04:32I don't have time for declarations.

00:04:34You're a lovely boy, but I'm...

00:04:35You're what?

00:04:36Busy being the mistress of a wanker.

00:04:40Can I kiss you?

00:04:42Jesus, Patrick.

00:04:43I...

00:04:44You have no idea.

00:04:48You look fucking incredible, by the way!

00:05:08Yeah, I think the picking was quite taken with you.

00:05:10I'll be invited to cheer the rectory.

00:05:13Well, I'll do anything for the cause.

00:05:17Yeah, me too.

00:05:18Yeah, you're quite the campaigner.

00:05:25Oh, Seb's here.

00:05:27Yeah, he's taken me to the cinema.

00:05:31You're going out with him.

00:05:35I like him.

00:05:37He's decent.

00:05:39Well, is...

00:05:41that the best you can hope for, decent?

00:05:44Well, maybe I'm fed up with sitting around waiting for my life to happen.

00:05:48Making sandwiches for everybody else.

00:05:54Hey.

00:05:55Hey. You okay?

00:05:56Yeah.

00:05:56You ready?

00:05:57Yeah.

00:05:58Taggy!

00:06:01Yeah, I'll see you tomorrow.

00:06:12Sarah.

00:06:22Okay, next item. As you know, we're finally putting something punchy in Declan's old slot, Sarah's show.

00:06:28Still working on the format. Newest idea is we bring in a co-host to mix things up a bit.

00:06:33Finally, thank you.

00:06:34A co-host?

00:06:35More like a magazine, but spicier. Network loves the idea.

00:06:39It's not your fault, Sarah. Primetime slot is a big thing for you to carry by yourself.

00:06:43Who is it?

00:06:43We're working on the details. Obviously it won't be James.

00:06:45What?

00:06:46Your cots will round up. Can't dilute the brand, can we?

00:06:49Okay, next. Great Gardens. We need a new location now that we're pulling green lawns.

00:06:54Do we need to pull it?

00:06:55Freddie Jones is actively campaigning to bring down Carinium.

00:06:58Why would we put his house on our gardening show?

00:07:01Well, it might be a show of strength if we go ahead anyway.

00:07:02And means that we gain access to the property. See if we can't pump Mrs. Jones for info.

00:07:08Yes. Good. Let's go ahead.

00:07:11Now then.

00:07:15Am I a man of my word, Cameron?

00:07:21You are a man of many words.

00:07:23Am I a man of my word?

00:07:28Yes, of course.

00:07:30I think we'd all agree, Tony.

00:07:33Would you?

00:07:35That's curious, because I quite clearly remember telling you not to speak to any of those Venturer traitors.

00:07:42Do you remember what I said, Ginger, would be the consequence?

00:07:48Instant dismissal, Tony.

00:07:51In which case, Mr. Burrows,

00:07:57I might take it you no longer acquire Carinium services as an employer?

00:08:05Um...

00:08:06Sorry.

00:08:07You were observed attending a screening of absolute beginners at the Colchester Regal.

00:08:13With Taggy O'Hara.

00:08:18He was spying on me.

00:08:19It's franchise season, Sebastian. I'm spying on everyone. It's self-preservation.

00:08:23And it turns out entirely necessary, given that you're a double-crossing little shitbag.

00:08:28So now, I'm gonna make an extremely fucking public example of you.

00:08:32I'm not only gonna make sure you never work in commercial television again,

00:08:36I'm gonna make sure there's no job for you on any channel, anywhere.

00:08:40I'm gonna make sure you can't get a job selling televisions at Rumbelows.

00:08:49Escort Mr. Burrows to his car, would you, Ginger? Don't let him clear his desk.

00:08:52But I have...

00:08:53I'm very fucking glad you're leaving here with all ten fingernails.

00:08:57All right, then. Off you all, fuck.

00:08:59And thank you for your loyalty. It has been noted.

00:09:02Quick chat, Cameron.

00:09:15I brought this little guy as requested.

00:09:21You can have it back as soon as Lady Gosling's had a good look.

00:09:24Where were you Friday night?

00:09:25Home.

00:09:26I rang, you didn't answer.

00:09:27I unplugged my phone.

00:09:29Wanted to make sure I got a good night's rest prepping for Great Gardens.

00:09:32You're not wearing your ring.

00:09:35Close to my heart.

00:09:38I didn't want people asking questions or...

00:09:40Patrick O'Hara was at your house.

00:09:43And I told him where to get off.

00:09:46I know.

00:09:49You know you don't have to spy on me, Tony.

00:09:55Ready to go for a spin?

00:10:02You've done a spectacular little job. The cameras are gonna love it.

00:10:05We only feature the very best gardens on the programme.

00:10:08Oh, wow.

00:10:09Monica's at the Faulkner, of course.

00:10:10Mm-hm.

00:10:11The Duchess of the Badminton.

00:10:12And then, Mon, she doesn't mind.

00:10:14With all of the unpleasantness.

00:10:16I haven't spoken to her in weeks.

00:10:19Monica feels, and I agree, you're so special.

00:10:23And showcasing this lovely garden,

00:10:25that's far more important than petty personal feuds.

00:10:29Oh, I just wish we could all go back to how it was before

00:10:31when we were all friends.

00:10:34Do you, um...

00:10:36Do you have to host meetings here?

00:10:38Oh, yes.

00:10:39They hole up in Fred Fred's office and I just leave them to it.

00:10:42You know, the hardest thing is remembering who's siding with who.

00:10:45I'm so glad you said that.

00:10:46I can't remember from one day to the next.

00:10:48I'm sure we've got a couple of moles.

00:10:49Yes.

00:10:51Yes, Freddie is worried about moles.

00:10:53Really?

00:10:54Mm.

00:10:55He's been putting castor oil everywhere.

00:10:57I'm terrified I'm gonna wake up in the morning

00:10:59and find molehills all over the lawn.

00:11:03I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

00:11:09Think about it.

00:11:10Yeah?

00:11:14No.

00:11:19Oh, you have to come down more often.

00:11:22Oh, you have to come down more often.

00:11:24Drive safe.

00:11:32What was my old heart doing here?

00:11:33He came to see me, darling. I do have friends.

00:11:36So what? He came for a cup of tea?

00:11:38Oh, Jesus Christ. We had a drink.

00:11:43Is there something you want to ask me?

00:11:46Do you know where your daddy is?

00:11:48I mean, because I don't see you hounding him.

00:11:50But daddy would never.

00:11:51Oh, I am sick of your disapproval.

00:11:54You have no idea what I've done for this family over the years.

00:11:57Well, I don't know why you bother if you resent it so much.

00:11:59Well, you don't even like me.

00:12:00I love you. You're my daughter.

00:12:02When you look at me, all you see are the things you've done wrong.

00:12:05That's bloody unfair. I nearly died giving birth to you.

00:12:0820 years ago.

00:12:14Malhar offered me a part.

00:12:16A part?

00:12:17Yes, a part. In a play.

00:12:19Like I used to do parts and plays, but I don't anymore

00:12:21because I'm stuck down here.

00:12:23It's a play in London.

00:12:24Well, what do you say?

00:12:27No.

00:12:29Of course I did.

00:12:33Sorry.

00:12:35I guess, yeah, I guess it's nice to be asked.

00:12:40No, it's not, Taggy.

00:12:42You get so used to putting other people's needs first

00:12:45that it becomes second nature.

00:12:47And then one day you look at yourself and you think,

00:12:51why in fuck's name did I do that?

00:12:54But by then,

00:12:56it's too late to change.

00:13:22I'm so glad to see you.

00:13:24Just supporting my husband.

00:13:26Just supporting my husband, not that he needs it.

00:13:27Oh, oh.

00:13:30What brings you to Valerie's opening?

00:13:32Sticker bombing.

00:13:34I managed to get one on Valerie's bottom.

00:13:36Oh.

00:13:38Closest to our opening I ever want to get.

00:13:40They probably shouldn't be talking,

00:13:42since we're with rival consortiums.

00:13:46Consortia?

00:13:46I don't know.

00:13:47Consortia?

00:13:48Consortiums?

00:13:49Hmm.

00:13:50Hmm.

00:13:50Anyway, it doesn't matter.

00:13:52We're all adults.

00:13:53I'm not giving you up for the sake of any stupid franchise.

00:13:56You're the closest thing I have to a conscience.

00:13:58Mwah.

00:14:00How many gentle flowers grow in an English country garden?

00:14:07I'll tell you now of some I know and those I miss.

00:14:11I hope you'll pardon.

00:14:15Dappletills had seasoned flocks,

00:14:16middle sweetened lily stocks,

00:14:18gentle luminant tall holly hocks,

00:14:21Roses, pots, blocks, my wood drops,

00:14:24forget me not,

00:14:25in an English country garden.

00:14:33This is horrendous, isn't it?

00:14:35Absolute hell.

00:14:37Lemonade, this is very fun.

00:14:38Thank you, Sharon.

00:14:40Lovely hat.

00:14:42Fine.

00:14:46Ah.

00:14:48No, just hang on one second.

00:14:49If whatever you can do,

00:14:50thank you so much.

00:14:54James is having an affair with Sarah Stratton.

00:14:59Oh, darling.

00:15:01Shouldn't have told you that.

00:15:02You'll leak it to the Scorpion to discredit Carinion.

00:15:07Why don't you leave him?

00:15:08He's a wanker.

00:15:14I...

00:15:17I booked a hotel room to have an affair with Freddie.

00:15:22Then I bottled out.

00:15:25Hated myself.

00:15:26Everyone does it.

00:15:30Really, everyone.

00:15:32All these people.

00:15:34What?

00:15:35Her.

00:15:35Over there.

00:15:36In the hat.

00:15:38Oh, is she fucking that man next to her?

00:15:40Is it?

00:15:40Why is she not looking at him?

00:15:42Him and her?

00:15:44Handjobs in the potting shed.

00:15:46I mean, am I really the only person holding out?

00:15:54Does that make me a bit simple?

00:15:59Should I be able to hold more than one man in my head at once?

00:16:10I can't even make it a show about fidelity, for God's sake.

00:16:15Yeah, it's a show in the buzz.

00:16:16It's a cranium television.

00:16:19Blimey.

00:16:20Oh, God.

00:16:20Bit of a circus, isn't it?

00:16:23Ah.

00:16:24Send in the clowns.

00:16:26Speaking of which, they're about to film your spouses.

00:16:30I think I'll, um...

00:16:33Go and watch.

00:16:41You didn't come.

00:16:45I tried.

00:16:46I couldn't get out of the car.

00:16:49I'm sorry.

00:16:51Yeah.

00:16:53No, it's probably for the best.

00:16:58You were probably right when you said no the first time.

00:17:09Seconds away, James.

00:17:10Quiet, please!

00:17:13And action, James.

00:17:14One only has to look at your borders, Mrs. Jones, to appreciate what an extraordinary gardener you are.

00:17:19Tell me, what's your secret?

00:17:20How do you grow such whopping glands?

00:17:22Well, James, I feed them with grow more, and obviously I stake them very tall, so they're not flopping over

00:17:29everywhere.

00:17:30Can we have some quiet, please?

00:17:32Yes.

00:17:32Thank you, Cameron.

00:17:33Quiet!

00:17:35Right, Deirdre, are we ready?

00:17:36Excellent.

00:17:37Oh!

00:17:39Oh, for God's sake.

00:17:40Cut!

00:17:41I'm so sorry.

00:17:42It's like climbing in a zoo.

00:17:43Why is there a dog on the lead?

00:17:44Can we find out why there's a dog off the lead?

00:17:46Okay, shall we try this again?

00:17:48Are we ready?

00:17:49Are we ready?

00:17:49I'm ready.

00:17:50Action.

00:17:51One only has to take a look at your borders, Mrs. Jones, to realize...

00:18:01I'm here to pick you up.

00:18:04I have my car.

00:18:05Well, Ginger will drive it, won't you?

00:18:07Okay, I don't understand.

00:18:09I'm here to pick you up.

00:18:28I'm here to pick you up.

00:18:53It's the Ventura franchise application.

00:18:58Okay, but how did you get it?

00:19:00Ginger did a little light espionage at Greenlawns.

00:19:05Oh, can I read it?

00:19:06What's in it?

00:19:07Enough else to get our teeth into.

00:19:09We'll pick over it tomorrow.

00:19:17Tonight is about you and me.

00:19:25Listen.

00:19:27I know I didn't say it enough, but...

00:19:29Tony.

00:19:30People can see us.

00:19:40Dance with me.

00:19:42Nobody's dancing.

00:19:43I don't care.

00:19:44Come dance.

00:19:47Come dance.

00:19:48We are young.

00:19:53Heartache to heartache we'll stand.

00:19:58No promises, no demands.

00:20:03Love is a battlefield.

00:20:08I remember what I said about the ring.

00:20:11Once we win this, we'll do this whenever we want.

00:20:20We are strong.

00:20:24No one can tell us we are all the beginning.

00:20:29Searching our hearts for so long.

00:20:35Both of us knowing.

00:20:40Love is a battlefield.

00:20:57Come on, Tag.

00:20:58A, B, C or D?

00:20:59None of them.

00:21:00No, you have to pick one.

00:21:01Come on.

00:21:02Otherwise, how do we know which four-momentumo character you're going to marry?

00:21:07Tag, have you seen this?

00:21:08What?

00:21:10Show me?

00:21:13Rupert in Clinch with Cook.

00:21:16Oh, my God.

00:21:16You're in the Scorpion.

00:21:18You're the Cook.

00:21:19It's Cameron Cook.

00:21:20They must mean Cameron.

00:21:21Cameron?

00:21:21No, it's definitely you.

00:21:24Seb's going to be devastated.

00:21:25Losing his job.

00:21:26Now this.

00:21:27What about Cameron?

00:21:28It's Rupert and Cameron.

00:21:29Didn't you know?

00:21:31Wow.

00:21:32She really picks them, doesn't she?

00:21:33Oh, God, please.

00:21:34It will ruin everything for Daddy if it comes out.

00:21:36I shouldn't have told you.

00:21:37Please, Patrick.

00:21:38Leave it alone.

00:21:44Come on.

00:21:44Tomorrow at the public meeting, we all need to be able to answer whatever questions come up.

00:21:49Seb's been doing some briefing notes for everyone.

00:21:52Now that he has more time in his hands, but we need to know this back to front like Cameron

00:21:57does.

00:21:57Where is Cameron?

00:21:59With the Dark Lord, I suppose.

00:22:00I rang him this morning.

00:22:01We should announce him.

00:22:02Gerald, you've got a spare copy.

00:22:03I couldn't find mine this morning.

00:22:05Uh, yes.

00:22:06Rupert does that a lot.

00:22:07Why does this have to be at Carinium?

00:22:08Should the public meeting be on neutral ground?

00:22:10Oh, it's deliberately stacked in favour of the incumbent.

00:22:14It's simpler for everyone if they get to keep the franchise, so the IBA make it easy to defend and

00:22:18difficult to challenge.

00:22:21Look, we have to prove we've got the money and experience to take over the building,

00:22:24because plenty of franchise applications fall at this hurdle, so, you know.

00:22:27You've got your best side.

00:22:30It's not anything.

00:22:38You think this is funny?

00:22:41Come on, it's just tabloid nonsense tonight's chip paper.

00:22:44You promised me you wouldn't touch her.

00:22:46I didn't touch her.

00:22:47What the fuck is that?

00:22:49The seatbelt wasn't working.

00:22:50You made him promise not to touch me.

00:22:53I'm 20 years old.

00:22:54Oh, so something did happen then, didn't it?

00:22:58She's just seeing Sebas, isn't she?

00:23:02Sebas.

00:23:03Nothing.

00:23:04No, it's okay.

00:23:06She's her own person.

00:23:07Yeah, you see, she's her own person.

00:23:11Get out of my house.

00:23:12Daddy, for God's sake, stop.

00:23:14Jack, you hear me?

00:23:15Seriously, this is too funny.

00:23:16You're going to be serious if your life depended on it.

00:23:18What the fuck do you have riding on this?

00:23:19I put my house up.

00:23:21I put the bluebell wood so you could clear your debts.

00:23:24You've had all my money.

00:23:25What more do you want?

00:23:25Look, Steve.

00:23:27Should we get back to work and stop talking about who gets to touch up, tagging?

00:23:33Stop.

00:23:35Come here.

00:23:36Frick.

00:23:36We need you.

00:23:37Come here.

00:23:38Come here.

00:23:38Calm down now.

00:23:39Come on, child.

00:23:41It's in it.

00:23:42Oh, gosh.

00:23:42The fuck is your offense, man?

00:23:44Jesus Christ.

00:23:46Fuck.

00:23:48What happened?

00:23:50You shouldn't be here.

00:23:51It's not safe.

00:23:52I was going to call, but I got scared in case Tony bugged the phone.

00:23:55That's paranoid, darling.

00:23:57No, not anymore.

00:23:58It's not.

00:23:59Tony has seen the application.

00:24:01He knows all of our plans.

00:24:03What?

00:24:04How?

00:24:09Freddy.

00:24:11You got your copy?

00:24:30We should probably get someone to fix that.

00:24:34I'm for bed, darling.

00:24:37Oh.

00:24:37Black Green Lawns?

00:24:39It's in Great Gardens, too.

00:24:41Come and watch with me.

00:24:42And here I am, surrounded by a...

00:24:43Laugh of Valerie's gruesome borders.

00:24:45Yellows, greens, blues...

00:24:46That's all right.

00:24:47...oranges, indigos, all the colors of the rainbow.

00:24:50And who's this little collection of colorful characters we have here?

00:24:53See?

00:24:53She's got loans.

00:24:54Rambler.

00:24:55I think he's a little camera shy, don't you?

00:24:57And what's the inspiration behind this piece of landscaping here?

00:25:00Oh, well, James...

00:25:02What does she feed those enormous clavioi?

00:25:04Same thing she feeds her children.

00:25:05I suppose I wanted the garden to reflect that.

00:25:08And reflected it does.

00:25:10Almost blinded.

00:25:11Oh, look.

00:25:12Poor James is the same color as the marigolds.

00:25:16She looks like she's dressed for Ascot.

00:25:19Lady Valerie of Bulgaria.

00:25:21What's your secret?

00:25:22How do you grow such whopping glass?

00:25:24Well, James, I feed them with grow more.

00:25:26And obviously I'll take them very high so they're...

00:25:30Whoopsie-daisy.

00:25:31Ha, ha, ha, ha.

00:25:33Hi.

00:25:36It's Ruffet.

00:25:38Viva!

00:25:39Jackie, we find out why there's a dog off the lead.

00:25:41I, uh, it's dosed on my table now.

00:25:43She's a question.

00:25:49What's that?

00:25:50Are you ready?

00:25:50A little smaller.

00:25:51Hang on for one moment.

00:25:53Jackie, ready?

00:25:55Shall we try that again?

00:25:58Bear away.

00:26:11Fever seems besotted with Miss Cook, doesn't he?

00:26:16It's rather like he knows her.

00:26:18I don't care.

00:26:27I don't care.

00:26:29Just bear away.

00:26:37They're strong.

00:26:44It's forever.

00:26:46I don't care.

00:27:04The day of reckoning arrives.

00:27:06Could we say the application was just sitting on Freddie Jones' desk?

00:27:10Makes them sound appallingly careless.

00:27:13I'm not sure we want to admit to trespassing and theft, do we?

00:27:16That's a fair point.

00:27:18The best way to take advantage of this little windfall is to pull apart every idea they've got.

00:27:22Poor scorn on every word they say this afternoon.

00:27:27We've got it all worked out, right, Tony?

00:27:31Absolutely.

00:27:33No question. It's ours.

00:27:38Never pays to think something's definitively yours, in my experience.

00:27:44Let's not rest on our laurels just yet.

00:27:51Emotions are riding high in Rocha in the battle for control of the central southwest television region.

00:27:56The franchise holder Carinium will go head-to-head at a public meeting with new consortium Venturer,

00:28:02led by TV presenter Declan O'Hara, MP and former Olympian showjumper Rupert Campbell-Black,

00:28:08and tech wizard Freddie Jones.

00:28:11They've got the charm, but can they convince the IBA that they've got the chops to catch the crown?

00:28:21When two tribes go to war, point is all that you can score.

00:28:28When two tribes go to war, point is all that you can score.

00:28:37Keepitung up to the moon, point is all that you will fail.

00:28:41So we've got.

00:28:42I've given you back good time.

00:28:45I'veaped it.

00:28:47I'll take it for the black guys

00:28:51I'm afraid I saw you do the score

00:28:56When two times go to war

00:29:33Why the candles are we on television I was for the evening news don't stare at them and they'll look

00:29:37like a game show

00:29:39Hello there's Charles

00:29:40Hello Charles

00:29:41I'm trying to remember who's on his side

00:29:46If you need help just ask

00:29:49I'm better on the subject

00:29:50You can get on that room

00:29:51Yeah

00:29:51Good idea

00:30:00We know coming to Carinium I don't understand

00:30:04It's daddy's big day

00:30:05I'm here to support him

00:30:11Let's go and find a seat

00:30:13Oh no no you're up here with us

00:30:15A rags-hags sort of bunch aren't they

00:30:17Spent half the time fighting each other apparently

00:30:20Embarrassing

00:30:21Yes

00:30:23Well we can talk with it

00:30:30Goodness all human life is here

00:30:33Mostly pond life over that time

00:30:36What the hell is BT Johnson doing here?

00:30:41Hello Dominic

00:30:49Is everything okay?

00:30:54Love you

00:30:59Ladies and gentlemen the meeting is about to begin

00:31:01This consultation aims simply to determine if the new company Venturer has the capacity to be a contender for the

00:31:09Southwest Central franchise

00:31:11We will inform Venturer by telephone later in the evening if they may submit a formal franchise application

00:31:17And however in the meantime this is an opportunity for you the public to give both sides a good grilling

00:31:25So are there any questions from the floor?

00:31:29Yes lady at the back over there with the very tight perm

00:31:35Can I please ask both teams when you're going to start showing bingo on the telly?

00:31:39Well we're absolutely committed to bringing as many different sports to the viewing public so if there's an appetite for

00:31:46bingo absolutely

00:31:47Ah yes I was I was rather wondering if James might sign my blouse

00:31:53Yes my company's been developing satellite television for a while now

00:31:56Dishy Daniel won't be leaving four men went to mow this next series

00:32:01Venturer we've got plans to show polo

00:32:04I'm sorry that the Chipping Sodbury W.I. feel we've disproportionately covered news from Cochester

00:32:08So Venturer are gonna harvest this technology for domestic use that's something that we've got and corinium haven't

00:32:15Oh and yes, I would be delighted to sign your blouse

00:32:20We'll ensure he removes his shirt at least once an episode

00:32:27Yeah, we'll keep it on the network if it's popular

00:32:30Well, um, I'll respond to that if I may

00:32:34The underdog team over there might expect to retain all of your favourite programmes but I'm afraid

00:32:40They belong to corinium

00:32:43Cots will round up ladies and gentlemen

00:32:45Imagine a world without that sofa James

00:32:49No master dog no Dorothy Dove

00:32:53And ladies and gentlemen what that means

00:32:57Is no more four men went to mow

00:33:00Sorry lads

00:33:01What a dreary prospect

00:33:04And what about the future?

00:33:07Our newest output brings us to a whole new frontier of entertainment

00:33:12Most imminently we are replacing our tired old talk show Declan

00:33:16With a brand new format

00:33:18And a new presenter

00:33:21Joining Sarah Stratton in her first ever television job

00:33:25Celebrity gossip columnist

00:33:27Beatty Johnson

00:33:34Heading up uncensored

00:33:37The naughtiest

00:33:39Most gossipy show on the independent network

00:33:42Because that's what we do at corinium

00:33:46We serve you the television you want

00:33:50Your station

00:33:52Now and always

00:33:57Because who wants to feel like their television station

00:34:00Is some rich man's second hobby

00:34:04Honestly, what does Rupert Campbell Black know about broadcasting?

00:34:14I know people

00:34:17I know this area from representing you all in parliament

00:34:20I've knocked on a damn sight more doors than Tony Battingham has

00:34:24And look at the audience that have come today to support Venturer

00:34:28We've got a Cotchester Council gardening team

00:34:31The Chipping Sodbury WI

00:34:34Bisley Ballroom Dancers

00:34:35The Headmaster from Rugbrown

00:34:37The lads from Cotchester Rugby Football Club

00:34:41Ventura! Ventura! Ventura! Ventura!

00:34:44They know a good team when they see one

00:34:46This lot, a team? A team?

00:34:49Ask Rupert where he got that bruise

00:34:51There are a bunch of amateurs

00:34:53Brawling

00:34:55And bruising

00:34:56And bedding other people's wives

00:34:59The drama should be on the screen

00:35:02Not off it

00:35:13No, you're right

00:35:17They do deserve better

00:35:25You deserve better

00:35:29You all deserve better than the shice Tony Battingham's been pumping into your living rooms for all these years

00:35:38You deserve better than endless quiz shows

00:35:42That cost nothing to make

00:35:43And nourish nobody's soul

00:35:45Yes, they have a good drama

00:35:48But one, one good drama we will make dozens

00:35:51Dozens!

00:35:52There will be venture shows all over the network

00:35:55So you can be proud of the work that comes out of the Central Southwest

00:36:01We're not in this to make money

00:36:03We are in this to make joy

00:36:08Because what is television for?

00:36:11I don't think Tony Battingham's asked himself that in a very long time

00:36:16Christ it shows

00:36:18You know what I think it's for?

00:36:22Community

00:36:24People used to sit around the fire for their stories

00:36:29Now we sit around the television

00:36:31We point our chairs at the corner of the room

00:36:34And that is where we commune

00:36:38Television has the power to bring us together

00:36:41To help us forgive each other

00:36:47And we've had a stupid fight

00:36:53To give us a window

00:36:56Into others lives

00:36:59To bring new ideas into our homes

00:37:04It is, I believe

00:37:08The greatest art form man has created

00:37:10I got into this business

00:37:12Many years ago

00:37:14In the pursuit of truth

00:37:17And integrity

00:37:20And I still believe in both

00:37:23And you deserve better

00:37:27And we will move mountains to give you better

00:37:30If you put your faith in us

00:37:32And give us a chance

00:37:59If you put your faith in us and give us a chance

00:38:00To be a good one

00:38:01To be a good one

00:38:06To be a good one

00:38:07To be a good one

00:38:08Now I have to spend months fighting this

00:38:10When does it ever stop?

00:38:11We don't know the verdict yet

00:38:13Oh Christ, you see Gosling's wizened face light up at Declan's blarney lyricism

00:38:17Then we have the swear campaign

00:38:19More scandal, more dirt

00:38:20But Ginger, you wouldn't know dirt if it shut itself into your face

00:38:23Do you have any idea of the size of dirt you've managed to miss this week?

00:38:26You are supposed to be my fucking eyes and ears

00:38:30Get better reports from Helen fucking Keller

00:38:37Well done darling

00:38:38Thank you sweetheart

00:38:46I meant what I said

00:38:48I just hope that it works

00:38:50You are just brilliant

00:38:51Everybody loves you

00:38:53Thank you

00:38:53What is he going on with people?

00:38:56Hello Agatha

00:38:57Bet you didn't expect this lot

00:38:59Sorry we're a bit rowdy with you

00:39:02This is from all of us

00:39:03Here Rupert

00:39:04I reckon she's the keeper, don't you?

00:39:08Ah mate, she's our top striker

00:39:15We did good Ryan, we did okay

00:39:17Hey

00:39:20It's all back to yours apparently

00:39:21Ah, apparently

00:39:22Apparently

00:39:41And why didn't you tell me he was bringing in BT?

00:39:43I didn't know

00:39:44I didn't know

00:39:45I don't know what the hell he's doing

00:39:46Something's going on with him

00:39:47He knows something

00:39:48Or

00:39:49It's okay

00:39:50We're gonna win this

00:39:55And what if we don't?

00:39:56I'll look after you, whatever happens

00:39:58Okay?

00:39:59Promise?

00:40:00Can you come to the Priory?

00:40:04Supposed to be here, but I'll slip away if I can

00:40:17Come on, Sarah

00:40:19See, Lizzie, Lizzie, listen

00:40:20Um, Sarah's not coming out

00:40:22Do you just go in and see she's alright?

00:40:24Oh, uh

00:40:26I think you could go in if it's your wife, Paul

00:40:29Look how we see coming out of the ladies

00:40:31I'm a member of parliament

00:40:32Look, let's go grab a drink

00:40:33The womenfolk can join us later

00:40:35Thank you

00:40:43Yeah

00:40:55Sarah? Are you all there?

00:40:59Um, I must have eaten something

00:41:06Nerves

00:41:09That woman

00:41:11Why has he put me with her?

00:41:14My big chance and then it's her

00:41:18Bloody Tony

00:41:20Do you know, I spent my life running around after these men

00:41:23Who just can't be trusted

00:41:25And they have all the power

00:41:27They just squeeze us out like toothpaste

00:41:30Not even toothpaste

00:41:31They don't need us at all

00:41:33Oh, I think they do

00:41:37But fuck them, right?

00:41:42We should stop putting them first

00:41:46Do what we want

00:41:48Not just the right thing

00:41:49All the time

00:41:54I'm not sure I've ever done the right thing

00:42:00I've got to go

00:42:01I've got to go

00:42:02Your husband's

00:42:03Looking for you

00:42:12Thought I told you to fuck off

00:42:16No darling

00:42:18It's me

00:42:26I'm here

00:42:27I'm here to say come home

00:42:31Archie's waiting in the car

00:42:32Why do I have to bring the boy to see his father being humiliated?

00:42:36We both know it's not that you're angry about

00:42:40But perhaps this is a test

00:42:45It's time for you to decide

00:42:48I've been loyal

00:42:50All of these years

00:42:51But even my stoicism has a limit

00:42:54So do be careful

00:42:57Come home tonight and let's talk about it

00:43:02Because if you don't

00:43:05I'll take the children to my sisters in the morning

00:43:18Would be rather a thing to win it though, wouldn't it?

00:43:23I love you guys

00:43:25You need sign for this show, don't you?

00:43:28You need nothing, Nick?

00:43:39Legs on that end

00:43:40I think I might be in there

00:43:42You fucking idiot

00:43:45What if Declan finds out?

00:43:46Not to mention he's a friend and it's wrong

00:43:49You've never objected to a bit of wife sitting before

00:43:52Oh

00:43:56Goodness, when did you get so morally fibrous?

00:44:00Damien lives on the piano, she's fucking amazing

00:44:07So, what happens now?

00:44:09We're just waiting on Lady Gosling to call to say if we're through to the next round

00:44:13You sure you can't stay?

00:44:15Yeah, I've had a lovely time

00:44:16But they're tired, so I'll take them home

00:44:21Fingers crossed

00:44:23Thank you, darling

00:44:24Thanks for coming

00:44:25I'm really proud of you, Fred Fred

00:44:35Love you

00:44:38Stop slouching Sharon, you look like a potato

00:44:46Turn around, bright eyes

00:44:49Every now and then I fall apart

00:44:51Turn around, bright eyes

00:44:54Every now and then I fall apart

00:44:57And I need you now tonight

00:44:59And I need you now tonight

00:45:00And I need you now tonight

00:45:01And I need you more than ever

00:45:04And I need you more than ever

00:45:06And if you only hold me tight

00:45:09We'll be holding on forever

00:45:12And we'll be holding on forever

00:45:13And we'll come home in

00:45:14And I need you more than ever

00:45:16And we'll never be wrong

00:45:18Together

00:45:19We can make it till the end of the time

00:45:22Your love says you're shining, you won't be all of the time

00:45:27Don't know what to do when I'm always in the dark

00:45:31I'm living in a powder keg and giving off the force

00:45:34I really need you tonight

00:45:38Forever's gonna start tonight

00:45:42Forever's gonna start tonight

00:45:44For the time I was falling in love

00:45:47Now I'm only falling apart

00:45:52There's nothing I can do

00:45:54A total eclipse of the heart

00:46:02A total eclipse of the heart

00:46:09A total eclipse of the heart

00:46:12I'm still a bloody bloke

00:46:15Do you think you'll get it?

00:46:17Lots of hurdles to jump yet

00:46:19I think we did a really good job tonight

00:46:24So is this a night off then?

00:46:40Have you got any idea how fucking beautiful you are?

00:46:59How are you?

00:47:01Surprisingly well, frankly

00:47:03Mother knew me this morning

00:47:06First time in months

00:47:08Made me feel like life is possible

00:47:13And I wanted to say to you

00:47:15That even if you can't love me

00:47:17Then I think friends would be rather nice

00:47:25Charles, I think I found someone to marry

00:47:29Goodness

00:47:31Well, she's a nice girl from a good family

00:47:36And she likes me in the right way

00:47:39Do you like her?

00:47:41I think we get on rather well

00:47:44I really think I could bear to be married to her

00:47:46Especially if it meant everyone would stop asking me

00:47:48Why I'm not married

00:47:51It'll give me the respectability I need for my career

00:47:56And then we can meet together

00:48:01Still in secret

00:48:04But safe

00:48:12I don't know if I can live without this

00:48:14Without you

00:48:16Without you

00:48:54I've never done this before

00:48:57I'm sad

00:48:58They're adultery

00:49:00I've written about it a lot

00:49:03I've never met anyone I wanted to do it with before

00:49:37It's so nice to feel soft for ever coming on with

00:49:55I'm going to declare this an area of outstanding natural beauty

00:50:10Go

00:50:11Go

00:50:40What's going on?

00:50:44I'm going to Linden.

00:50:47Malhar offered me a part in a doll's house.

00:50:52I thought you didn't get it.

00:50:54It's a different part.

00:50:57It's the maid.

00:50:58You're playing the maid?

00:51:00Yeah.

00:51:02Declan, yeah.

00:51:06Because as it turns out, I'm not a star anymore.

00:51:12As it turns out, I spent too long following you around for wherever you wanted to be.

00:51:21There for the children so that you get to do what you want to do.

00:51:26I want to work.

00:51:33I need to work.

00:51:36And you, of all people, should understand that.

00:51:47And if you'd been even remotely available to me recently, you would have been part of

00:51:53that decision, but you weren't.

00:51:56So I made it myself.

00:52:08We need you here, love.

00:52:12You actually don't.

00:52:15Good luck with the franchise bit.

00:52:18Mummy.

00:52:18Tag, stop her.

00:52:19She said she's going to London to do a fucking play.

00:52:21I am going to London to do a fucking play.

00:52:25And I should never have left it this long.

00:52:30Goodbye, my sweetheart.

00:52:36Please don't go.

00:52:38Maud, please.

00:52:50Does she get that?

00:53:03Hello?

00:53:06Yes.

00:53:07Hi.

00:53:07Lady Gosling.

00:53:09No.

00:53:10Of course, no.

00:53:10I appreciate your calling.

00:53:36Later tonight, the battle of the central southwest television region is on.

00:53:41Incumbent company, Carinium, now being challenged by Venturer.

00:53:45Headed by Carinium's biggest star, Declan O'Hara.

00:53:49Along with ex-show jumper and minister for sport, Rupert Campbell Black, today's meeting

00:53:54was to decide if Venturer has the capacity to be a serious contender for the franchise.

00:54:13What?

00:54:13Leaving already?

00:54:18Do we pop to my office?

00:54:20For what?

00:54:23Never asked me that before.

00:54:42How long have you been sleeping with Rupert Campbell Black?

00:54:46Oh, come on.

00:54:48How long have you been sleeping with?

00:54:54What am I having?

00:54:55What?

00:54:55Just a bit.

00:54:57Hey!

00:54:59What's that?

00:55:00Don't let me know you're from home.

00:55:35I was spying on him, on Venturer.

00:55:37Oh.

00:55:40So what information did you fuck out of him for me?

00:55:44Turns out I'm not a very good spy.

00:55:46Oh, don't fucking goad me.

00:55:49There is no one in the world you could sleep with.

00:55:53He is the worst man in the world.

00:55:57You knew that.

00:56:01Oh, you fucking reek of him.

00:56:09I'll give you whatever you want.

00:56:11I'll bring my solicitor tomorrow.

00:56:13I'll start the divorce.

00:56:14I'll do anything.

00:56:15Just swear you will never let that man touch you again.

00:56:20Just let me have this one, please.

00:56:26I'm sorry.

00:56:31I will sack you so hard.

00:56:33You can't sack me.

00:56:35I'm resigning.

00:56:36Your visa's tied to your job, darling.

00:56:39I'll make sure you're on a first plane back to America.

00:56:41Yeah?

00:56:43I will marry Rupert.

00:56:46Then I can stay.

00:56:50Venturer might have won this battle.

00:56:52Have they won the war?

00:56:53That's the question on everyone's lips.

00:56:56They have been successful putting together an impressive war comprising the great and the good of Venturer.

00:57:03People used to sit around the fire for their stories.

00:57:08Now we sit around the television.

00:57:11That is where we commune.

00:57:14Television has the power to bring us together.

00:57:16Fuck you!

00:57:22To help us forgive each other.

00:57:24We've had a stupid fight.

00:57:28To give us a window into others' lives.

00:57:32To bring new ideas into our homes.

00:57:36Where's mommy?

00:57:37It is, I believe, the greatest art form man has created.

00:57:44Hi.

00:57:46Hi.

00:57:49Come on.

00:58:01Seb's a nice boy.

00:58:03Are you all right?

00:58:05Yeah, he's lovely.

00:58:06He's a good sort.

00:58:07Yeah.

00:58:10Only he's not you.

00:58:20I don't know why I just said that.

00:58:23I think I'm tired.

00:58:31It's the franchise.

00:58:33Come on.

00:58:35I'm trapped.

00:58:36I can't get out of here.

00:58:37I'm not asking you to.

00:58:41She's not you.

00:58:45I can't breathe without you.

00:58:47I can't get there.

00:58:50I can't be.

00:58:53No, he's not you.

00:58:55No.

00:59:13Yes.

00:59:15Come on.

00:59:17Yes.

00:59:41First ever television job.

00:59:44Celebrity gossip columnist, Beatty Johnson, turning up uncensored.

00:59:50The naughtiest, the most gossipy show on the independent network.

00:59:56Because that's what we do at Carinion.

01:00:01We serve you the television you want, your station, now and always.

01:00:29Carinion

01:00:29The

01:00:30Carinion

Rivals - Season 1 Episode 8

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