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Rivals Season 1 Episode 8 | English Sub

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Transcript
00:00:08Hello, good evening, and welcome to How to Stay Married with me, James Vereker, and over here,
00:00:15the woman lucky enough to call herself my better half, my wife, Lizzie.
00:00:21Thank you, darling. Hello.
00:00:23Now, a wise man once said, marriage isn't a battlefield, it's a partnership,
00:00:28and married people should be comrades, not rivals.
00:00:32Though that's sometimes easier said than done.
00:00:36How do you stay connected after 20 years of children, careers, everything?
00:00:42How do you keep each other interested over dinner or in the bedroom when the honeymoon period comes to an
00:00:48end?
00:00:49We'll be chatting to a range of celebrity and ordinary couples to ask, how do they make it work for
00:00:55them?
00:00:55And we'll find out if the grass really is greener on the other side of the fence.
00:01:14We'll be quizzing the experts on how to keep a marriage fresh without seeking excitement elsewhere.
00:01:20We'll discuss how to deal with the pain if one of you breaks the rules.
00:01:25And how to keep your feet on the ground when you're thinking about walking away.
00:01:52Gosh, that's a lot to get through, isn't it?
00:01:54Well, we did say, till death do us part.
00:01:57So, stay tuned.
00:01:59And stay married.
00:02:01Mm.
00:02:54Good afternoon.
00:02:55Hello, and this is Rupert Carvel-Black, MP for Chapin and Bisley,
00:02:59reminding you to vote conservative.
00:03:01Keep the Cotswolds blue.
00:03:04Hi!
00:03:06I know that's a cheese.
00:03:09Cotswolds blue.
00:03:12Don't let live attack our cheese!
00:03:14I'm so happy.
00:03:15Ha ha ha ha ha!
00:03:17I know you like what you see.
00:03:22Hold me.
00:03:23Put the dust icon.
00:03:24Rely on your love.
00:03:26Yes, I love you.
00:03:27Yes, I love you.
00:03:27I love you, Susan.
00:03:28Thanks, Susan.
00:03:30Thank you, Susan.
00:03:31Thank you, Susan.
00:03:31It's lovely to see you again this morning.
00:03:33Thank you so much.
00:03:34Thank you, Susan.
00:03:36I'll take you down.
00:03:37I'll take you down.
00:03:40But no one's ever going to go away.
00:03:43If you want more.
00:03:45If you want more.
00:03:47More.
00:03:48More.
00:03:49More.
00:03:49I say jump.
00:03:51More.
00:03:53Jumping.
00:03:54Oh, thanks.
00:03:55I have no idea about this.
00:03:57What are you talking about?
00:03:58I've got lots of signatures.
00:04:00What do you think about doing this professionally?
00:04:01Very funny.
00:04:04What?
00:04:04Oh, yeah, let me.
00:04:05There's an act to it.
00:04:07Do you mind?
00:04:07Yeah.
00:04:26Patrick O'Hara.
00:04:27I've finished university.
00:04:29I'm a real grown-up now.
00:04:32I don't have time for declarations.
00:04:34You're a lovely boy, but I'm...
00:04:35You're what?
00:04:36Busy being the mistress of a wanker.
00:04:40Can I kiss you?
00:04:42Jesus, Patrick.
00:04:43I...
00:04:44You have no idea.
00:04:48You look fucking incredible, by the way!
00:05:08Yeah, I think the picking was quite taken with you.
00:05:10I'll be invited to cheer the rectory.
00:05:13Well, I'll do anything for the cause.
00:05:17Yeah, me too.
00:05:18Yeah, you're quite the campaigner.
00:05:25Oh, Seb's here.
00:05:27Yeah, he's taken me to the cinema.
00:05:31You're going out with him.
00:05:35I like him.
00:05:37He's decent.
00:05:39Well, is...
00:05:41that the best you can hope for, decent?
00:05:44Well, maybe I'm fed up with sitting around waiting for my life to happen.
00:05:48Making sandwiches for everybody else.
00:05:54Hey.
00:05:55Hey. You okay?
00:05:56Yeah.
00:05:56You ready?
00:05:57Yeah.
00:05:58Taggy!
00:06:01Yeah, I'll see you tomorrow.
00:06:12Sarah.
00:06:22Okay, next item. As you know, we're finally putting something punchy in Declan's old slot. Sarah's show.
00:06:28Still working on the format. Newest idea is we bring in a co-host to mix things up a bit.
00:06:33Finally, thank you.
00:06:34A co-host?
00:06:35More like a magazine, but spicier. Network loves the idea.
00:06:39It's not your fault, Sarah. Primetime slot is a big thing for you to carry by yourself.
00:06:43Who is it?
00:06:43We're working on the details. Obviously it won't be James.
00:06:45What?
00:06:46Your cots will round up. Can't dilute the brand, can we?
00:06:49Okay, next. Great Gardens. We need a new location now that we're pulling green lawns.
00:06:54Do we need to pull it?
00:06:55Freddie Jones is actively campaigning to bring down Carinium.
00:06:58Why would we put his house on our gardening show?
00:07:01Well, it might be a show of strength if we go ahead anyway.
00:07:03And means that we gain access to the property. See if we can't pump Mrs. Jones for info.
00:07:08Yes, good. Let's go ahead. Now then. Am I a man of my word, Cameron?
00:07:21You are a man of many words.
00:07:23Am I a man of my word?
00:07:28Yes, of course.
00:07:30I think we'd all agree, Tony. Would you?
00:07:35That's curious, because I quite clearly remember telling you not to speak to any of those venturer traitors.
00:07:42Do you remember what I said, Ginger, would be the consequence?
00:07:47Instant dismissal, Tony.
00:07:52In which case, Mr. Burrows,
00:07:58Am I to take it you no longer acquire Carinium Services as an employer?
00:08:05Um...
00:08:06Sorry.
00:08:07You were observed attending a screening of absolute beginners at the Colchester Regal.
00:08:13With Taggy O'Hara.
00:08:18He was spying on me.
00:08:20It's franchise season, Sebastian. I'm spying on everyone. It's self-preservation.
00:08:23And it turns out entirely necessary, given that you're a double-crossing little shitbag.
00:08:28So now, I'm gonna make an extremely fucking public example of you.
00:08:32I'm not only gonna make sure you never work in commercial television again,
00:08:36I'm gonna make sure there's no job for you on any channel, anywhere.
00:08:40I'm gonna make sure you can't get a job selling televisions at Rumbelows.
00:08:49Escort Mr. Burrows to his car, would you, Ginger? Don't let him clear his desk.
00:08:52But I have...
00:08:53I'm very fucking glad you're leaving here with all ten fingernails.
00:08:57All right, then. Off you all, fuck.
00:08:59And thank you for your loyalty. It has been noted.
00:09:02Quick chat, Cameron.
00:09:15I brought this little guy as requested.
00:09:21You can have it back as soon as Lady Gosling's had a good look.
00:09:24Where were you Friday night?
00:09:25Home.
00:09:26I rang, you didn't answer.
00:09:27I unplugged my phone.
00:09:29Wanted to make sure I got a good night's rest prepping for Grey Gardens.
00:09:31You're not wearing your ring.
00:09:35Close to my heart.
00:09:38I didn't want people asking questions or...
00:09:40Patrick O'Hara was at your house.
00:09:43And I told him where to get off.
00:09:46I know.
00:09:49You know you don't have to spy on me, Tony.
00:09:55Ready to go for a spin?
00:10:02You've done a spectacular little child.
00:10:04The cameras are going to love it.
00:10:05We only feature the very best gardens on the programme.
00:10:08Oh, wow.
00:10:09Monica's at the Fulcrum, of course.
00:10:10Mm-hm.
00:10:11The Duchess at the badminton.
00:10:12And then, Mon, she doesn't mind.
00:10:14With all of the unpleasantness.
00:10:16I haven't spoken to her in weeks.
00:10:19Monica feels, and I agree, you're so special.
00:10:23And showcasing this lovely garb.
00:10:25That's far more important than petty personal feuds.
00:10:29Oh, I just wish we could all go back to how it was before.
00:10:31We were all friends.
00:10:34Do you, um...
00:10:36Do you have to host meetings here?
00:10:37Oh, yes.
00:10:39They hole up in Fred Fred's office and I just leave them to it.
00:10:42You know, the hardest thing is remembering who's siding with who.
00:10:44I'm so glad you said that.
00:10:46I can't remember from one day to the next.
00:10:48I'm sure we've got a couple of moles.
00:10:49Yes.
00:10:51Yes, Freddie is worried about moles.
00:10:53Really?
00:10:54Mm.
00:10:55He's been putting castor oil everywhere.
00:10:57I'm terrified I'm going to wake up in the morning
00:10:59and find molehills all over the lawn.
00:11:09Think about it.
00:11:19Oh, you have to come down more often.
00:11:24Drive safe.
00:11:32What was Malhar doing here?
00:11:33He came to see me, darling.
00:11:34We do have friends.
00:11:36So what, he came for a cup of tea?
00:11:38Oh, Jesus Christ.
00:11:39We had a drink.
00:11:43Is there something you want to ask me?
00:11:46Hm?
00:11:46Do you know where your daddy is?
00:11:48I mean, because I don't see you hounding him.
00:11:50But daddy would never.
00:11:51Oh.
00:11:52I am sick of your disapproval.
00:11:54You have no idea what I've done for this family over the years.
00:11:57Well, I don't know why you bother if you resent it so much.
00:11:59Well, you don't even like me.
00:12:00I love you.
00:12:01You're my daughter.
00:12:02When you look at me, all you see are the things you've done wrong.
00:12:05That's bloody unfair.
00:12:06I nearly died giving birth to you.
00:12:0820 years ago.
00:12:14Malhar offered me a part.
00:12:16A part?
00:12:17Yes.
00:12:18A part.
00:12:18In a play.
00:12:19Like I used to do parts and plays.
00:12:20But I don't anymore because I'm stuck down here.
00:12:23It's a play in London.
00:12:24Well, what did you say?
00:12:27No.
00:12:29Of course I did.
00:12:33Sorry.
00:12:35I guess, yeah.
00:12:36I guess it's nice to be asked.
00:12:40No, it's not, Taggy.
00:12:42You get so used to putting other people's needs first that it becomes second nature.
00:12:47And then one day you look at yourself and you think,
00:12:51Why in fuck's name did I do that?
00:12:54But by then, it's too late to change.
00:13:22I'm so glad to see you.
00:13:24Just supporting my husband.
00:13:26Not that he needs it.
00:13:30What brings you to Valerie's opening?
00:13:32Sticker bombing.
00:13:34I managed to get one on Valerie's bottom.
00:13:38Closest to our opening I ever want to get.
00:13:40They probably shouldn't be talking since we're with rival consortiums.
00:13:46Consultier?
00:13:46I don't know.
00:13:47Consultier?
00:13:48Consultiums?
00:13:49Hmm.
00:13:50Hmm.
00:13:50Anyway, it doesn't matter.
00:13:52We're all adults.
00:13:53I'm not giving you up for the sake of any stupid franchise.
00:13:56You're the closest thing I have to a conscience.
00:13:58Mwah!
00:14:00How many gentle flowers grow in an English country garden?
00:14:07I'll tell you now of some I know and those I miss, I hope you'll pardon.
00:14:14Dappletills had seasoned flocks, middle sweet and lily stocks,
00:14:18gentle luminant tall hollyhocks, roses, fox, blocks and drops,
00:14:23forget me not in an English country garden.
00:14:33This is horrendous, isn't it?
00:14:35Absolute hell.
00:14:37Lemonade, this is very calm.
00:14:38Thank you, Sharon.
00:14:40Lovely hat.
00:14:42Fine.
00:14:48Just hang on one second.
00:14:54James is having an affair with Sarah Stratton.
00:14:59Oh, darling.
00:15:01Shouldn't have told you that.
00:15:02You'll leak it to the scorpion to discredit Carineon.
00:15:07Why don't you leave him?
00:15:08He's a wanker.
00:15:13I...
00:15:17I booked a hotel room to have an affair with Freddie.
00:15:21Then I bottled out.
00:15:25Hated myself.
00:15:26Everyone does it.
00:15:30Really, everyone.
00:15:32All these people.
00:15:34What?
00:15:35Her.
00:15:35Over there.
00:15:36In the hat.
00:15:38Oh, is she fucking that man next to her, is it?
00:15:40Why she's not looking at him?
00:15:42Him and her.
00:15:44Hmm.
00:15:44Handjobs in the potting shed.
00:15:46I mean, am I really the only person holding out?
00:15:54Does that make me a bit simple?
00:15:59Should I be able to hold more than one man in my head at once?
00:16:07Oh.
00:16:10Oh, God.
00:16:11Can't we make it a show about fidelity, for God's sake?
00:16:15Yes, you're an embarrassment of cranium television.
00:16:19Blimey.
00:16:20Oh, God.
00:16:20Bit of a circus, isn't it?
00:16:23Ah.
00:16:24Send in the clowns.
00:16:26Speaking of which, they're about to film your spouses.
00:16:30I think I'll, um...
00:16:33Go and watch.
00:16:41You didn't come.
00:16:45I tried. I couldn't get out of the car.
00:16:49I'm sorry.
00:16:51Yeah.
00:16:53No, it's probably for the best.
00:16:58You probably were out when you said no the first time.
00:17:09It's a second away, James.
00:17:10Quiet, please!
00:17:13And action, James.
00:17:14One only has to look at your borders, Mrs Jones, to appreciate what an extraordinary gardener you are.
00:17:19Tell me, what's your secret? How do you grow such whopping glads?
00:17:22Well, James, I feed them with grow more, and obviously I stake them very tall, so they're not flopping over
00:17:29everywhere.
00:17:30Can we have some quiet, please?
00:17:32Quiet!
00:17:34Right, Deidre, are we ready?
00:17:36Excellent.
00:17:37Oh, for God's sake.
00:17:40Cut!
00:17:41I'm so sorry, you all right?
00:17:42It's like working in a zoo.
00:17:43Why is there a dog on the lead?
00:17:44Can we find out why there's a dog off the lead?
00:17:46Okay, shall we try this again?
00:17:48Are we ready? Are we ready?
00:17:49I'm ready. Action.
00:17:51One only has to take a look at your borders, Mrs Jones, to realize...
00:18:01I'm here to pick you up.
00:18:04I have my car.
00:18:05Well, Ginger will drive it, won't you?
00:18:07Okay, I don't understand.
00:18:10I'm taking you out.
00:18:53It's the Ventura franchise application.
00:18:58Okay, but how did you get it?
00:19:00Ginger did a little, like, espionage at Greenlawns.
00:19:05Oh, can I read it? What's in it?
00:19:07Enough else to get our teeth into.
00:19:09We'll pick over it tomorrow.
00:19:17Tonight is about you and me.
00:19:25Listen.
00:19:27I know I don't say it enough, but...
00:19:29Tony, people can see us.
00:19:40Dance with me.
00:19:41Nobody's dancing.
00:19:43I don't care. Come dance.
00:19:48We are young.
00:19:52Heartache to heartache we stand.
00:19:57No promises, no demands.
00:20:01We are young.
00:20:03We are young.
00:20:04Love is a battlefield.
00:20:08I remember what I said about the ring.
00:20:11Once we win this, we'll do this whenever we want.
00:20:14Cool.
00:20:20We are strong.
00:20:23No one can tell us we are wrong.
00:20:28We are strong.
00:20:29Searching our hearts for so long.
00:20:35Both of us knowing.
00:20:40Love is a battlefield.
00:20:44Both of us knowing.
00:21:02Both of us knowing.
00:21:03which former Momentum character you are going to marry.
00:21:07Tiger, have you seen this?
00:21:08What?
00:21:10Show me?
00:21:13Rupert in Clinch with Cook.
00:21:15Oh my God, you are in the Scorpion.
00:21:17You are the Cook.
00:21:19It's Cameron Cook.
00:21:20They must mean Cameron.
00:21:21Cameron?
00:21:21No, it's definitely you.
00:21:24Seb is going to be devastated.
00:21:25Losing his job.
00:21:26Now this.
00:21:27What about Cameron?
00:21:28It's Rupert and Cameron.
00:21:29Didn't you know?
00:21:31Wow, she really picks him, doesn't she?
00:21:33Oh God, please.
00:21:34It will ruin everything for Daddy if it comes out.
00:21:36I shouldn't have told you.
00:21:37Please, Patrick.
00:21:38Leave it alone.
00:21:44Tomorrow at the public meeting,
00:21:46we all need to be able to answer whatever questions come up.
00:21:49Seb's been doing some briefing notes for everyone.
00:21:52Now that he has more time in his hands,
00:21:54but we need to know this back to front like Cameron does.
00:21:57Where is Cameron?
00:21:59We're the Dark Lord, I suppose.
00:22:00I rang him this morning, we should announce him.
00:22:02Gerald, you got a spare copy?
00:22:03I couldn't find mine this morning.
00:22:05Ah, yes.
00:22:06Rupert does that a lot.
00:22:07Why does this have to be at Carinium?
00:22:08Should the public meeting be on neutral ground?
00:22:10It's deliberately stacked in favour of the incumbent.
00:22:14It's simpler for everyone if they get to keep the franchise,
00:22:16so the IBA make it easy to defend and difficult to challenge.
00:22:21Look, we have to prove we've got the money and experience
00:22:24to take over the building,
00:22:24because plenty of franchise applications fall at this hurdle, so, you know.
00:22:27You've got your best side.
00:22:30It's not anything.
00:22:32What is it?
00:22:38You think this is funny?
00:22:41Come on, it's just tabloid nonsense tonight's chip paper.
00:22:44You promised me you wouldn't touch her.
00:22:46I didn't touch her.
00:22:47What the fuck is that?
00:22:49The seatbelt wasn't working.
00:22:50You made him promise not to touch me.
00:22:53I'm 20 years old.
00:22:54Oh, so something did happen then, didn't it?
00:22:58She's seeing Sebas, isn't she?
00:23:02Sebas.
00:23:03Nothing.
00:23:04That's okay.
00:23:06She's her own person.
00:23:07Yeah, you see, she's her own person.
00:23:11Get out of my house.
00:23:12Daddy, for God's sake, stop.
00:23:14Jack, here we go.
00:23:15Seriously, this is too funny.
00:23:15You couldn't be serious if your life depended on it.
00:23:18What the fuck do you have riding on this?
00:23:19I put my house up.
00:23:21I bought the Bluebell wood so you could clear your debts.
00:23:24You've had all my money, what more do you want?
00:23:25Look, Steve.
00:23:27Should we get back to work and stop talking about who gets to touch up, Tiger?
00:23:33Come here, come here.
00:23:36Brick!
00:23:36We need you, come here.
00:23:38Calm down now.
00:23:39Come on, child.
00:23:41It's up.
00:23:42Gosh.
00:23:42The fuck is your offense, man?
00:23:44Jesus Christ.
00:23:46Fuck.
00:23:48What happened?
00:23:50You shouldn't be here.
00:23:51It's not safe.
00:23:52I was gonna call, but I got scared in case Tony bugged the phone.
00:23:55That's paranoid, darling.
00:23:57No, not anymore.
00:23:58It's not.
00:23:59Tony has seen the application.
00:24:01He knows all of our plans.
00:24:03What?
00:24:04How?
00:24:09Freddy.
00:24:11You got your copy?
00:24:30We should probably get someone to fix that.
00:24:34I'm for bed, darling.
00:24:37Oh.
00:24:37Black Green Lawns?
00:24:39Mm, it's in Great Gardens too.
00:24:41Come and watch with me.
00:24:42And here I am surrounded by a...
00:24:43Laugh at Valerie's gruesome borders.
00:24:45...yellows, greens, blues...
00:24:46...miners, oranges, indigos, all the colors of the rainbow.
00:24:49And who's this little collection of colorful characters we have here?
00:24:53See?
00:24:53She's got a load.
00:24:55I think he's a little camera shy, don't you?
00:24:57And what's the inspiration behind this piece of landscaping here?
00:25:00Oh, well, James...
00:25:02What does she feed those enormous clavioli?
00:25:04Same thing she feeds her children.
00:25:05I suppose I wanted the garden to reflect that.
00:25:08And reflected it does.
00:25:10Almost blinded.
00:25:11Oh, look.
00:25:12Poor James is the same color as the marigolds.
00:25:16She looks like she's dressed for Ascot.
00:25:19Lady Valerie of Bulgaria.
00:25:21What's your secret?
00:25:22How do you grow such whopping glass?
00:25:24Well, James, I feed them with grow more.
00:25:26And obviously I'll stake them very high so they're...
00:25:30Whoopsy-daisy!
00:25:31Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
00:25:36It's Robert.
00:25:38Viva!
00:25:39Jakey, we find a way there's a dog off the lead.
00:25:41I, uh...
00:25:42It's dosed on my table now.
00:25:43She's a...
00:25:49What's that?
00:25:50Are you ready?
00:25:50A bit just more than that.
00:25:52Hang on for one moment.
00:25:53Jakey, ready?
00:25:55Shall we try that again?
00:25:57I'm ready.
00:25:58Bear away.
00:26:11Fever seems besotted with Miss Cook, doesn't he?
00:26:16It's rather like he knows her.
00:26:20Got him.
00:26:28There was better.
00:26:31follow me is a sister.
00:26:40telling your dog about youraming lover.
00:26:44It's found her there...
00:26:46It's not a certain we can hate you.
00:26:47You didn't get away.
00:26:47You don't have to make her head be PD.
00:26:48Allowing Tomo is a picture when you get a star
00:27:04The day of reckoning arrives.
00:27:06Could we say the application was just sitting on Freddie Jones' desk?
00:27:10Makes them sound appallingly careless.
00:27:13I'm not sure we want to admit to trespassing and theft, do we?
00:27:16That's a fair point.
00:27:18The best way to take advantage of this little windfall is to pull apart every idea they've got.
00:27:22Poor scorn on every word they say this afternoon.
00:27:27We've got it all worked out, right, Tony?
00:27:31Absolutely.
00:27:33No question. It's ours.
00:27:38Never pays to think something's definitively yours, in my experience.
00:27:44Let's not rest on our laurels just yet.
00:27:51Emotions are riding high in Rocha in the battle for control of the central southwest television region.
00:27:56The franchise holder, Carinium, will go head-to-head at a public meeting with new consortium Venturer,
00:28:02led by TV presenter Declan O'Hara, MP and former Olympian showjumper Rupert Campbell Black,
00:28:08and tech wizard Freddie Jones.
00:28:11They've got the charm, but can they convince the IBA that they've got the chops to catch the crown?
00:28:21When two tribes go to war, point is all that you can't score.
00:28:28When two tribes go to war, point is all that you can't score.
00:28:44When two tribes go to war, point is all that you can score.
00:28:56And two tribes go to war.
00:30:00We know coming to Carinium.
00:30:01I don't understand.
00:30:03No, listen.
00:30:04It's Daddy's big day.
00:30:05We're here to support him.
00:30:08Okay.
00:30:11Just go and find a seat.
00:30:13No, no, no.
00:30:13You're up here with us.
00:30:15Rags, hags sort of bunch, aren't they?
00:30:17Spent half the time fighting each other, apparently.
00:30:20Embarrassing.
00:30:21Yes.
00:30:23Well, we can talk with it.
00:30:30Goodness.
00:30:31All human life is here.
00:30:33Mostly pond life over that time.
00:30:36What the hell is BT Johnson doing here?
00:30:42Hello, darling.
00:30:49Is everything okay?
00:30:54Love you.
00:30:59Ladies and gentlemen, the meeting is about to begin.
00:31:02This consultation aims simply to determine if the new company, Venturer, has the capacity
00:31:08to be a contender for the Southwest Central franchise.
00:31:11We will inform Venturer by telephone later in the evening if they may submit a formal franchise
00:31:16application.
00:31:17And however, in the meantime, this is an opportunity for you, the public, to give both sides a good
00:31:24grilling.
00:31:25So, are there any questions from the floor?
00:31:29Yes, lady at the back over there with the very tight perm.
00:31:34Can I please ask both teams, when you're going to start showing bingo on the telly?
00:31:40Well, we're absolutely committed to bringing as many different sports to the viewing public.
00:31:45So, if there's an appetite for bingo, absolutely.
00:31:48Ah, yes.
00:31:48I was rather wondering if James might sign my blouse.
00:31:53Yes, my company's been developing satellite television for a while now.
00:31:57Dishy Daniel won't be leaving four men went to mow this next series.
00:32:01But Venturer, we've got plans to show polo.
00:32:04I'm sorry that the chipping sodbury WI feel we've disproportionately covered news from
00:32:08Cotter stuff.
00:32:09So, Venturer are going to harvest this technology for domestic use.
00:32:12That's something that we've got and corinium haven't.
00:32:15Oh, and yes, I would be delighted to sign your blouse.
00:32:20We'll ensure he removes his shirt at least once an episode.
00:32:27Yeah, we'll keep it on the network if it's popular.
00:32:30Well, um, I'll respond to that if I may.
00:32:34The underdog team over there might expect to retain all of your favourite programmes,
00:32:38but I'm afraid they belong to corinium.
00:32:43Cots will round up, ladies and gentlemen.
00:32:45Imagine a world without that sofa, James.
00:32:49No master dog, no Dorothy Dove.
00:32:53And, ladies and gentlemen, what that means is no more four men went to mow.
00:33:00Sorry, lads.
00:33:02What a dreary prospect.
00:33:04And what about the future?
00:33:07Our newest output brings us to a whole new frontier of entertainment.
00:33:12Most imminently, we're replacing our tired old talk show, Declan,
00:33:17with a brand new format and a new presenter,
00:33:21joining Sarah Stratton in her first ever television job,
00:33:25celebrity gossip columnist, B.T. Johnson.
00:33:34Heading up Uncensored,
00:33:38the naughtiest,
00:33:39most gossipy show on the independent network.
00:33:43Because that's what we do at Corinium.
00:33:46We serve you the television you want.
00:33:51Your station.
00:33:52Now and always.
00:33:57Because who wants to feel like their television station
00:34:00is some rich man's second hobby?
00:34:05Honestly, what does Rupert Campbell Black know about broadcasting?
00:34:14I know people.
00:34:17I know this area from representing you all in Parliament.
00:34:21I've knocked on a damn sight more doors than Tony Battingham has.
00:34:24And look at the audience that have come today to support Venturer.
00:34:29We've got Cotchester Council gardening team,
00:34:31the Chipping Sodbury WI,
00:34:34Bisley Ballroom Dancers,
00:34:35the Headmaster from Rugbra and the Lads,
00:34:38from Cotchester Rugby Football Club.
00:34:41Ventura! Ventura! Ventura!
00:34:44They know a good team when they see one.
00:34:46This lot, a team?
00:34:48A team?
00:34:49Ask Rupert where he got that bruise.
00:34:51There are a bunch of amateurs
00:34:54brawling and bruising
00:34:56and bedding other people's wives.
00:34:59The drama should be on the screen,
00:35:02not off it.
00:35:04APPLAUSE
00:35:13No, you're right.
00:35:17They do deserve better.
00:35:25You deserve better.
00:35:29You all deserve better than the shice Tony Battingham's been pumping into your living rooms for all these years.
00:35:37APPLAUSE
00:35:38You deserve better than endless quiz shows
00:35:41that cost nothing to make
00:35:43and nourish nobody's soul.
00:35:46Yes, they have a good drama,
00:35:48but one,
00:35:48one good drama,
00:35:50we will make dozens.
00:35:52There will be Venturer shows all over the network
00:35:55so you can be proud of the work
00:35:58that comes out of the Central Southwest.
00:36:01We're not in this to make money.
00:36:03We are in this to make joy.
00:36:08Because what is television for?
00:36:11I don't think Tony Battingham's asked himself that in a very long time.
00:36:16Christ, it shows.
00:36:18You know what I think it's for?
00:36:22Community.
00:36:24People used to sit around the fire for their stories.
00:36:29Now we sit around the television.
00:36:31We point our chairs at the corner of the room
00:36:34and that is where we commune.
00:36:38Television has the power to bring us together.
00:36:42To help us forgive each other.
00:36:47And we've had a stupid fight.
00:36:53To give us a window
00:36:56into others' lives.
00:36:59To bring new ideas
00:37:01into our homes.
00:37:04It is, I believe,
00:37:08the greatest art form man has created.
00:37:10I got into this business
00:37:12many years ago
00:37:14in the pursuit
00:37:15of truth
00:37:17and integrity.
00:37:20And I still believe in both.
00:37:23And you deserve better.
00:37:27And we will move mountains
00:37:29to give you better
00:37:30if you put your faith in us
00:37:32and give us a chance.
00:37:33Thank you, God.
00:37:44Screw it!
00:37:47Go, go, go, go!
00:37:50Go, go, go!
00:37:51Go, go, go!
00:37:53Go, go, go, go!
00:37:56Go, go, go, go!
00:38:08I've spent months fighting this. When does it ever stop?
00:38:11We don't know the verdict yet.
00:38:13Oh, Christ, you see Gosling's wizened face
00:38:15light up at Declan's blarney lyricism.
00:38:17Then we have the swear campaign.
00:38:19More scandal, more dirt.
00:38:21Ginger, you wouldn't know dirt if it shut itself into your face.
00:38:24Do you have any idea of the size of dirt you've managed to miss this week?
00:38:26You were supposed to be my fucking eyes and ears.
00:38:30Get better reports on Helen fucking Keller!
00:38:37Well done, darling.
00:38:39Thank you, sweetheart.
00:38:46I meant what I said.
00:38:48I just hope that it won't actually happen.
00:38:50You were just brilliant. Everybody loved it.
00:38:52Thank you, sir, Alan.
00:38:55Where's he got all these people?
00:38:56Hello, Agatha.
00:38:57Bet you didn't expect this lot.
00:38:59Sorry we're a bit rowdy with you.
00:39:02This is from all of us.
00:39:04Yeah, Rupert.
00:39:05I reckon she's the keeper, don't you?
00:39:08Oh, mate, she's our top striker.
00:39:15We did good, right? We did okay.
00:39:17Hey.
00:39:18Hey.
00:39:20It's all back to yours, apparently.
00:39:21Ah, apparently.
00:39:41And why didn't you tell me he was bringing in B.T.?
00:39:43I didn't know.
00:39:44I don't know what the hell he's doing.
00:39:46Something's going on with him.
00:39:47He knows something, or I...
00:39:49It's okay.
00:39:50We're going to win this.
00:39:55And what if we don't?
00:39:56I'll look after you, whatever happens.
00:39:58Okay?
00:39:59Promise.
00:40:00Can you come to the Priory?
00:40:04I'm supposed to be here,
00:40:05but I'll slip away if I can.
00:40:17Come on, Sarah.
00:40:19Lizzie.
00:40:20Lizzie, listen.
00:40:21Sarah's not coming out.
00:40:23Did you just go in and see she's all right?
00:40:25Oh.
00:40:26I think you could go in
00:40:28if it's your wife, Paul.
00:40:29What can't we see coming out of the ladies?
00:40:31I'm a member of parliament.
00:40:32Look, let's go grab a drink.
00:40:33The womenfolk can join us later.
00:40:55Sarah?
00:40:56Are you all there?
00:41:00Um, I must have eaten something.
00:41:06Nerves.
00:41:09That woman.
00:41:11Why has he put me with her?
00:41:14My big chance, and then it's her.
00:41:18Bloody Tony.
00:41:20Do you know, I spent my life running around
00:41:22after these men who just can't be trusted.
00:41:24And they have all the power.
00:41:27They just squeeze us out like toothpaste.
00:41:30Not even toothpaste.
00:41:32They don't need us at all.
00:41:33Oh, I think they do.
00:41:37But fuck them, right?
00:41:42We should stop putting them first.
00:41:46Do what we want.
00:41:48Not just the right thing.
00:41:50All the time.
00:41:54I'm not sure I've ever done the right thing.
00:42:01I've got to go.
00:42:02Your husband's looking for you.
00:42:12Thought I told you to fuck off.
00:42:16No, darling.
00:42:17It's me.
00:42:26I'm here to say, come home.
00:42:31Archie's waiting in the car.
00:42:32Why do I have to bring the boy
00:42:34to see his father being humiliated?
00:42:36We both know it's not that you're angry about.
00:42:40But perhaps this is a test.
00:42:45It's time for you to decide.
00:42:48I've been loyal all of these years,
00:42:51but even my stoicism has a limit.
00:42:54So do be careful.
00:42:57Come home tonight and let's talk about it.
00:43:02Because if you don't,
00:43:05I'll take the children to my sisters in the morning.
00:43:18It would be rather a thing
00:43:20to win it, though, wouldn't it?
00:43:23I love you guys.
00:43:25I need nothing, Nick.
00:43:39Legs on that end.
00:43:41I think I might be in there.
00:43:42You fucking idiot.
00:43:45What if Declan finds out?
00:43:46Not to mention he's a friend,
00:43:48and it's wrong.
00:43:49You've never objected
00:43:50to a bit of wife-sitting before.
00:43:56Goodness, when did you get
00:43:57so morally fibrous?
00:44:00Damien, it's on the piano.
00:44:01She's fucking amazing.
00:44:07So, what happens now?
00:44:09We're just waiting on Lady Gosling
00:44:10to call to save.
00:44:11We're through to the next round.
00:44:13You sure you can't stay?
00:44:15Yeah.
00:44:15I've had a lovely time,
00:44:17but they're tired,
00:44:18so I'll take them home.
00:44:21Fingers crossed.
00:44:23Thank you, darling.
00:44:24Thanks for coming.
00:44:25I'm really proud of you, Fred Fred.
00:44:35Love you.
00:44:38Stop slouching, Sharon.
00:44:39You look like a potato.
00:44:46Turn around, right eye.
00:44:49Every now and then I fall apart.
00:44:52Turn around, right eye.
00:44:55Every now and then I fall apart.
00:44:58And I need you now tonight.
00:44:59Have another drink.
00:45:00Sit down.
00:45:01Relax.
00:45:01And I need you more than ever.
00:45:05And if you won't be home in time.
00:45:09We'll be home in the home forever.
00:45:13Yes.
00:45:14That's just getting right.
00:45:16And we'll never be wrong together.
00:45:19We can make it to the end of the time.
00:45:22Your love's in your shadow on the end of the time.
00:45:27I don't know what to do when I'm always in the dark.
00:45:31Living in a powder keg and giving off balls.
00:45:34I really need you tonight.
00:45:38Forever is going to start tonight.
00:45:41Forever is going to start tonight.
00:45:45Hello.
00:45:47Hello.
00:45:48Now I'm only falling apart.
00:45:52There's nothing I can do.
00:45:55A total eclipse of the heart.
00:46:01A total eclipse of the heart.
00:46:09A total eclipse of the heart.
00:46:12A total eclipse of the heart.
00:46:12I'm still a bloody black.
00:46:15Do you think you'll get it?
00:46:17Lots of hurdles to jump yet.
00:46:19I think we did a really good job tonight.
00:46:24So is this a night off then?
00:46:40Have you got any idea how fucking beautiful you are?
00:46:59How are you?
00:47:01Surprisingly well, frankly.
00:47:04Mother knew me this morning.
00:47:07First time in months.
00:47:08It made me feel like life is possible.
00:47:13And I wanted to say to you that even if you can't love me then I think friends would be
00:47:18rather nice.
00:47:25Charles, I think I found someone to marry.
00:47:29Goodness.
00:47:30Yes.
00:47:31Well, she's a nice girl from a good family and she likes me in the right way.
00:47:39Do you like her?
00:47:41I think we'd get on rather well.
00:47:44I really think I could bear to be married to her.
00:47:46Especially if it meant everyone would stop asking me why I'm not married.
00:47:50It'll give me the respectability I need for my career and then we can meet together.
00:47:58Still in secret.
00:48:03But safe.
00:48:12I don't know if I can live without this.
00:48:16Without you.
00:48:23I don't know if I don't know if I can live without seeing you.
00:48:24I know if I can live without my family.
00:48:24Oh, my God.
00:48:54I've never done this before.
00:48:56What was it?
00:48:58A bit of adultery.
00:49:00I've written about it a lot.
00:49:03I've never met anyone I wanted to do it with before.
00:49:37It's so nice to feel soft for ever coming on earth.
00:49:55I'm going to declare this an area of outstanding natural beauty.
00:49:58I'm going to declare this.
00:50:40What's going on?
00:50:44I'm going to Linden.
00:50:47Malhar offered me a part in a doll's house.
00:50:52I thought you didn't get it.
00:50:54It's a different part.
00:50:57It's the maid.
00:50:58You're playing the maid?
00:51:00Yeah.
00:51:02Declan, yeah.
00:51:06Because, as it turns out, I'm not a star anymore.
00:51:12As it turns out, I spent too long following you around.
00:51:18For wherever you wanted to be.
00:51:21There for the children so that you get to do what you want to do.
00:51:26I want to work.
00:51:33I need to work.
00:51:36And you, of all people, should understand that.
00:51:47And if you'd been even remotely available to me recently, you would have been part of that decision, but you
00:51:54weren't.
00:51:56So I made it myself.
00:52:09We need you here, love.
00:52:12You actually don't.
00:52:15Good luck with the franchise bit.
00:52:18Mummy.
00:52:18Tag, stop her.
00:52:19She said she's going to London to do a fucking play.
00:52:21I am going to London to do a fucking play.
00:52:25And I should never have left it this long.
00:52:30Goodbye, my sweetheart.
00:52:36Please don't go.
00:52:38Maud, please.
00:52:39Please.
00:52:51Does she get that?
00:53:04Hello?
00:53:06Yes, hi, Lady Gosling.
00:53:09No, no, of course no.
00:53:10I appreciate you calling.
00:53:36Later tonight, the battle of the central southwest television region is on.
00:53:41Incumbent company, Carinium, now being challenged by Venturer, headed by Carinium's biggest star, Declan O'Hara.
00:53:49Along with ex-show jumper and minister for sport, Rupert Campbell Black,
00:53:53today's meeting was to decide if Venturer has the capacity to be a serious contender for the franchise.
00:54:13Leaving already?
00:54:18Did you really pop to my office?
00:54:20For what?
00:54:23Never asked me that before.
00:54:42How long have you been sleeping with Rupert Campbell Black?
00:54:46What do you want to talk about?
00:54:47I don't know.
00:54:50I don't know.
00:54:50I don't know.
00:54:52I don't know.
00:54:53I don't know.
00:54:54I don't know.
00:54:54What am I having?
00:54:55Just a bit.
00:54:57What?
00:54:57Yeah?
00:54:58Hey.
00:54:59What's that?
00:55:00Just a bit.
00:55:01Oh, yeah.
00:55:01I don't know.
00:55:03Oh, my God.
00:55:11Oh, I don't know.
00:55:35I was spying on him, on Venturer.
00:55:37Oh.
00:55:40So what information did you fuck out of him for me?
00:55:44Turns out I'm not a very good spy.
00:55:46Oh, don't fucking goad me.
00:55:49There is no one in the world you could sleep with.
00:55:53He is the worst man in the world.
00:55:57You knew that.
00:56:01Oh, you fucking reek of him.
00:56:09I'll give you whatever you want.
00:56:11I'll bring my solicitor tomorrow.
00:56:13I'll start the divorce.
00:56:14I'll do anything.
00:56:15Just swear you will never let that man touch you again.
00:56:20Just let me have this one, please.
00:56:26I'm sorry.
00:56:31I will sack you so hard.
00:56:33You can't sack me.
00:56:35I'm resigning.
00:56:36Your visa's tied to your job, darling.
00:56:38I'll make sure you're on a first plane back to America.
00:56:42Yeah.
00:56:43I will marry Rupert.
00:56:46Then I can stay.
00:56:50Venturer might have won this battle.
00:56:52Have they won the war?
00:56:54That's the question on everyone's lips.
00:56:56They have been successful putting together an impressive war
00:57:00comprising the great and the good of Russia.
00:57:03People used to sit around the fire for their stories.
00:57:08Now we sit around the television.
00:57:11That is where we commune.
00:57:14Television has the power to bring us together.
00:57:17Fuck you!
00:57:22To help us forgive each other.
00:57:24We've had a stupid fight.
00:57:28To give us a window into others' lives.
00:57:32To bring new ideas into our homes.
00:57:36Where's mommy?
00:57:37It is, I believe, the greatest art form man has created.
00:57:44Hi.
00:57:46Hi.
00:57:49Come on.
00:58:01Seb's a nice boy.
00:58:03Are you all right?
00:58:05Yeah, he's lovely.
00:58:06He's a good sort.
00:58:07Yeah.
00:58:10Only he's not you.
00:58:20I don't know why I just said that.
00:58:23I think I'm tired.
00:58:31It's the franchise.
00:58:33I cannot.
00:58:35I'm trapped.
00:58:36I can't get out of here.
00:58:37I'm not asking you to.
00:58:41Just like a Dougie.
00:58:41She's not here.
00:58:45I can't praise without you.
00:58:49I can't...
00:58:50I can't breathe without you.
01:00:08And always.
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