- 6 hours ago
Falling Season 1 Episode 4
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🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:01The End
00:23Shall I take your bags to us, Tessna?
00:25It's just, it's just one bag, quite small.
00:28They don't, I don't, they don't want me to spring much.
00:31No, no, no. Yes, I read the booklet.
00:36So I can carry it?
00:37I always thought we should have redecorated this room.
00:39It was on my list, actually.
00:41Well, you can now.
00:43No, no, no, I meant for you.
00:44I meant this room was done up for a seven-year-old.
00:46You've dears on the wallpaper.
00:48I should have given it a lick of blue paint over the summer sometime.
00:51Made it feel more like a grown-ups room.
00:54I like it.
00:55My point is, I think you grew up and I didn't notice.
01:04Well, Dad, none of this is to upset you.
01:08I found an answer to something, that's all.
01:14It's been an O-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I.
01:15We are.
01:15Are you there?
01:19I know.
01:21If you're there,
01:24I think you need to talk.
01:27I'm just posting my number through the door.
01:32I just like to talk.
01:33Talk more.
01:34No, no, no.
02:25No, no, no.
02:55No honey sandwiches?
02:57No, no, no.
02:58No?
03:01Don't.
03:01Don't.
03:05How are you doing?
03:24Oh, you brought him?
03:26Yeah.
03:28You been waiting long, Father?
03:31I'm sorry to keep you.
03:32I'm having a bladder reaction to the drugs or something.
03:36And they were changing my pads.
03:39It's the right level of embarrassing for you.
03:42Yeah.
03:43Do you want...
03:45Would you prefer some private time?
03:46No.
03:48No.
03:49She wanted you here.
03:51Besides, we've had enough of that.
03:54She's bored of me yapping away, complaining about this, that, the other.
03:59You in pain?
04:00Oh, yeah.
04:03And it's on my notes that I'm an addict, so they're being very cheap with the painkillers.
04:10Tina ordered me to come and ask what you want to do next.
04:16Oh, I'd like to go home and live my life, thank you very much.
04:19Oh.
04:21I suppose I am concerned that we have Tina's baby underway.
04:28Well, I'll let him back in and he'll mess up that kid, too.
04:33You're still charming.
04:36Tina wants help.
04:39I just want things to be different now.
04:46So you went to a priest.
04:49I'm not a priest.
04:51Not here.
04:52Just someone who cares.
04:55We all care, Father.
04:59Some more than we should.
05:15I am through with vetting families for schools.
05:21Little Algernon is a firm Catholic.
05:23We can't attend, of course.
05:25We dry ski on Sundays.
05:26But he prays daily and we bought him some of your holy beads from Amazon.
05:31Show him, Algy.
05:31Show him.
05:32I'm sure his name isn't Algernon.
05:34No.
05:35It's called Biscuit or some such nonsense.
05:41Sermon?
05:43Uh, uh, it's my sister's marriage blessing.
05:47I didn't see it in the diary.
05:49Second marriage.
05:51The first one was a bloke's an arsehole.
05:56It's a registry office wedding and then a blessing in the garden.
05:59Then praise be she's getting on the horse again.
06:03What?
06:04The church isn't right about everything.
06:07And I like your sister.
06:10And I like people getting on horses.
06:14I'm extending an awkward metaphor.
06:19I'm checking you're getting the help you need.
06:22I'm getting the help I need.
06:25I love where it's just coming from my sister.
06:28Well, that's good.
06:32I was concerned, et cetera.
06:36I won't interfere, et cetera.
06:39Consider me spent.
06:44Now, we've had a strange request I didn't know whether to pass on.
06:50The chaplain at HMP Avonmouth has requested a visit.
06:55Well, well, well.
06:57Apparitioner has requested you.
06:59Tina's father.
07:01I don't think you should.
07:04I'm not even sure Tina would like you going.
07:09But, uh...
07:11Your decision.
07:40CHOIR SINGS
07:44CHOIR SINGS
07:54Oh.
07:57I, uh, I wasn't sure whether to, um...
07:59Knocked for you, like, four or five times at Muriel's.
08:02You haven't been to hell.
08:04Well, that is, uh, impressive of you.
08:06I've run.
08:08Repeatedly.
08:09You've done a lot.
08:11Very thorough.
08:12Yeah. It's, uh...
08:14Beginning to sound like harassment.
08:19I, um...
08:21I wanted to talk to you.
08:24I'm aware.
08:27I just wanted to say that I stand by everything I've said.
08:33I, I've, I've thought about it, and, um, this doesn't often happen to me, but, uh, I think I was
08:40right.
08:43I think you and I should accept that what happened between us was meaningful, but not in the way, well,
08:50not, not in the way that I thought it to be meaningful.
08:54Can I speak?
08:56Can I speak now?
08:57No.
08:58No.
09:00Yes, if you want to.
09:05You are.
09:06But you're, you're not, you're not allowed to compliment me.
09:09Can you...
09:09Just, if, for instance, you were going to say, uh, that I was formidable, or fantastic, or even just interesting,
09:18or anything about how I look or how I am, then that, that wouldn't be okay to say.
09:24Why not?
09:28Let me just start from the beginning.
09:30The beginning, and the end, is that I changed my life for you.
09:37And you are not responsible for that.
09:39I'm really, I really hope I've made it clear that you are not responsible for that.
09:46It's just the truth.
09:47I've, I've found all of this very confusing.
09:51I apologise.
09:53I also hope I've made it clear that it was all me, and, uh, I, I do apologise for your
10:02confusion.
10:02But I wasn't all you.
10:03You're not allowed to say that, either.
10:05And I, what am I allowed to say?
10:11Have you been praying?
10:13About you?
10:15No.
10:16No, not about me.
10:19I, I just mean, have you, have you been, uh, praying generally?
10:23I feel like I've, uh, been the cause of some spiritual undoing, and I just,
10:31I just wanted to make sure that you've been, you've been praying again.
10:36Yeah, I've been praying.
10:39Have you?
10:40Yes.
10:42I've also been going more regularly to Alcoholics Anonymous.
10:47It's not something I want advertised, but something you probably guessed.
10:55Yeah, I did, um, you sent, um, and that's helpful.
11:02I think so.
11:04My sister's...
11:07Good people around me.
11:11You want to feel responsible.
11:14You shouldn't apologise, I should.
11:18I'm sorry.
11:20I've behaved towards you.
11:24I, I felt you, you made me feel things.
11:28I, I needed to know that.
11:29You...
11:31and...
11:31make me feel things.
11:38Now, I,
11:40I'm trying to set myself right.
11:41I'm determined to be a good priest.
11:44At least the best priest I'm capable of being.
11:49My confusion...
11:51was never you.
11:52It was...
11:54you...
11:56thought to light.
11:57Well, you've done a bit more than you've been to life.
12:05At AA, we tried to explain not who we are, but why we are.
12:12And I think you saw the who, but not the why.
12:19I think my understanding of what I should be has been...
12:22I think I've been trying to help people in the wrong way.
12:26Um, which way is that?
12:28Saving people.
12:31Some addiction like any other.
13:04Wonderful is the word I would have used.
13:08It's great, you.
13:16I'll see you again.
13:20Not if I see you first.
13:47S finances.
13:49Sigh.
13:52Sigh.
13:54Sigh.
13:55Sigh.
13:56Sigh.
14:08Sigh.
14:10Oh, sis, you... I'm due on shift.
14:14Oh, I've cooked.
14:15Yeah, a disgusting idea, I know,
14:17but on the off chance you're not repulsed,
14:19there's half a shepherd's pie in the oven.
14:22You look like you're coming down with a cold.
14:25No? No, I'm fine.
14:26You sure?
14:28What time are you back?
14:29Shift ends 5am.
14:31Very lucky. Now, come here.
14:34Eat the pie.
14:46Mila gets two ahead of you.
14:48We're going local for this one.
14:50In which English county would you find watching?
14:54Devon.
14:55Not quite.
14:57Huh.
14:58Correct, Sally.
15:00What currency would you use if you were all of it?
15:02Swing it.
15:03What currency would you use if you were all of it?
15:04What currency would you use if you were all of it?
15:14zodiac cuts.
15:21What currency would you use?
15:22Hyrule.
15:25How's the llevone?
15:30His wobbles are left.
15:31Yes, yes, yes.
16:00Hey, um, can I help, uh, I've got a spread wine, please?
16:04Oh, you've got a list if you want to.
16:05Oh, just the, uh, just the cheapest.
16:07Come right up.
16:34Oh, you've got a list.
16:50Hey.
16:53Hey.
16:55Hey.
16:56Hey.
17:25I like that.
17:33I like that.
17:36I like that.
17:40I like that.
17:41I like that.
17:42I like that for someone
17:45with a pen.
17:48Or a pen with a TV shirt
17:50or a thing.
17:51I like that.
17:52I like that.
17:52Yeah.
18:03No time.
18:06Don't be out.
18:37Hi.
18:38Hi.
18:43Wasting for someone?
18:44Er, no.
18:46No, I, er, just couldn't stay in the house any longer.
18:50Oh.
18:51How come?
18:54Er, I'm getting irritated by the sound of my own thoughts.
18:58I know that feeling.
19:01Hey, Tony.
19:03Er, Anna.
19:04Hi.
19:04Hi.
19:11Who, who are you with?
19:13Er, my brother and his wife.
19:15They came here to get away from their kids,
19:17and they just want to talk about their kids.
19:22Have you got children?
19:24No.
19:25No, you?
19:26Er, yeah, yeah, one.
19:27Ben is 11.
19:29His mum and I divorced.
19:31It's, er, it's tricky.
19:33Yeah.
19:35I can imagine.
19:38What do you do, Anna?
19:42Er, I'm a cook.
19:47Er, a cafe cook.
19:50Which cafe?
19:52Well, er, really, I just, I make, um, cakes and bakes
19:56and sell them to different cafes.
19:58It's just a home kitchen.
19:59Nothing baking.
19:59Mm.
20:01Keeps me going.
20:03I may have eaten a sausage on wheels in my time.
20:06That spicy lamb rolls.
20:08My speciality.
20:14What do you do?
20:16Er, sister.
20:17Hmm.
20:17I work for Bristol City Council.
20:21Oh, listen, I'm not very good at getting served, but, um, can I buy you a drink, Anna?
20:35Uh, one more and I'll be drunk.
20:42I'm, I'm, um, to be honest, I am, uh, I'm a bit bored of this place.
20:49Have you, have you got somewhere we could go?
20:55Er, sure.
20:56Er, sure.
20:56Oh, no, no.
21:03I'm not very good at having a drink.
21:04Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.
21:14Oh, no, no, no.
21:44Are you okay?
21:47I'll just say you're in great shape.
21:50Better shape than me.
22:11Are you okay?
22:14Am I going too fast?
22:19I'm sorry.
22:20This was your idea, wasn't it?
22:26No, it's not you.
22:28It's not.
22:28I'm sorry if I...
22:30No, it's not you.
22:32I'm sorry.
22:35It's okay.
22:36I like you.
22:38Shall I...
22:39I can make a cup of tea.
22:41Some biscuits.
22:42Maybe we can talk about it.
22:45I...
22:50I can't.
22:51Where are you going?
22:53Can I call you?
22:55I don't know.
22:57No.
23:00Anna?
23:03You've done nothing wrong.
23:04It's my mistake.
23:07Please, please don't.
23:08I...
23:09I don't...
23:10I don't want this.
23:11I'm not ready.
23:36I'm not ready.
23:37I don't want this.
24:24Father Hicks, Father Bennett, call me William, David.
24:36Okay, so you'll be meeting him in the multi-faith room.
24:39It's up to you if you want someone in the room with you.
24:42I'll be okay.
24:43I think he genuinely wants counsel.
24:59It's okay.
25:08Guard, stay now.
25:10You asked for me?
25:13Yes.
25:15I was surprised.
25:17Yeah.
25:22Mahir's a priest.
25:25Where's a man?
25:28There's a priest.
25:36What do you want from me?
25:42I, um...
25:47They told me she's gonna be okay.
25:51I asked if I could call her but they said no.
25:56You thought they might allow it?
25:57I didn't know, that's why I asked.
25:59Why do you want to speak to her?
26:00Because I love her.
26:05I wanted to hear her voice, here she was.
26:10Here she wasn't in too much pain.
26:14What pain that you caused?
26:20Yeah, I know, I know.
26:26How can you, um...
26:31Will you visit her?
26:33I have.
26:37I know she's in pretty bad shape.
26:43I don't know.
26:50I don't know.
26:53How to stop.
27:01If she gives evidence against me, they'll give me two years maybe and...
27:05I'll be released on condition that I'll stay away from her.
27:08But she'll find me because that's her way and then I'll just do it again.
27:12You've assumed a lot of things in that statement.
27:14Or she won't and I'll find someone else.
27:20I can smell it on them.
27:23The woman.
27:27The women who won't say no.
27:30The women that'll take it and know who they are.
27:33Sounds like...
27:33Or what, you think there weren't others before her?
27:36Others during her?
27:40Yeah, it doesn't take a lot for me to get women.
27:43These hands have broken three jaws.
27:45I've stamped on hands.
27:47I've shattered legs, pelvises, eye sockets.
27:49One girl I almost ripped her ear clean off.
27:51What can you say to that?
27:52You sound almost proud.
27:55My mum.
27:57She walked with a hunch.
28:02Walking round the house with a bunch of washing in a cheap plastic basket
28:06and this saggy face and this...
28:09hunch.
28:12Like she was always waiting for the gut punch.
28:15Why did you want me to hear that?
28:17What's the question?
28:21I'm thinking I need to kill myself.
28:26And I know that that is a sin,
28:27but I'm thinking it's all that I've got.
28:33It is the only way to stop me.
28:41And I'm asking for your guidance on that.
28:43It's the only way to stop me.
28:47It's the only way to stop me.
28:59It's the only way to stop me.
29:12Okay.
29:17I think...
29:18that you need help.
29:20Tried it, it didn't work.
29:22I think you need to try again.
29:26Father Bennett told me of a counselling service here.
29:28No, no.
29:29I just want to hurt them too.
29:30They think they're so fucking clever.
29:32They never are.
29:32I am actually clever.
29:34I can see how fucking thick they are
29:36and I won't have it.
29:38Do you think I'm clever?
29:39You?
29:40You're not as clever as you think.
29:44And you are weak.
29:51I can smut the booze on you now.
29:55What?
29:56Fine.
29:59But I've smut the booze on you before.
30:02And I know you go to those meetings.
30:05I've got friends in those meetings
30:07and they know you're weak too.
30:09Why does it matter what I think?
30:10Because I have said this.
30:15You are my priest.
30:17I've never much felt like you're a priest.
30:21You can talk to any priest.
30:24Maybe someone with some distance, Father Bennett.
30:26I don't know them.
30:27They could be kiddie fiddlers.
30:28Or worse still,
30:29the pious fuckers who think that everything is easy.
30:32You're weak.
30:38But you're a good man.
30:41I've seen you.
30:42And I know you're good.
30:43And you have been good to my daughter.
30:47I trust your judgement.
30:50I don't want this last act to be a sin.
30:54I want it to be an act of penance.
30:57And God is not talking to me right now,
30:58so I need to know from you.
31:00I need to know that...
31:01I need to be sure that this is, um...
31:06That penance is right.
31:20Good.
31:24Good, yeah.
31:25You're thinking.
31:29Well, there it is.
31:30I know I've said all I want to say.
31:34I'll trust you would.
31:44Yes or no.
31:45First foster home I went to was fine,
31:48but they were only doing emergency care.
31:51Second was okay, but we didn't get on.
31:55The third foster family I went to, I was...
31:59five.
32:00I lived there for two years until I was seven.
32:04The oldest kid there was 14.
32:09I won't give him his name because...
32:12he doesn't deserve it.
32:14To be honest, I don't need to hear the personal stuff.
32:16He thought I made too much noise.
32:18He liked to pinch me.
32:22Just little hard pinches that no one saw,
32:25and I was a pretty scared child,
32:27and I let him.
32:29And then it excavated a little.
32:33He'd punch me.
32:35Little rabbit punches, he'd call them.
32:38He'd push me off things, and he'd...
32:43do everything he could, little things, to...
32:48He enjoyed my pain.
32:50I am not finding this interesting.
32:51I just want an answer.
32:52I didn't want to talk to my support worker about it,
32:54because I thought it was this or an institution,
32:57and I had my own room with this family,
32:59and I really enjoyed the food,
33:01and I had a couple of friends at school
33:04that I liked to play with.
33:06And then, like, the people who became my parents
33:09started to visit.
33:13And they were really special.
33:15Everyone could see.
33:17They...
33:18smelled good.
33:20They were Catholic.
33:21Everyone knew that religious adopters
33:23were the best kind.
33:24The third time they visited,
33:28he followed me into the toilet,
33:32and he slammed my head into the bowl,
33:34and he held it.
33:35He tried to hold it into the water.
33:37He tried to drown me in the toilet water,
33:39but there wasn't enough water in the bottom of the bowl,
33:42and so he pushed his hands around my head,
33:45and I was bleeding.
33:48He strangled me.
33:55He strangled me.
33:58So hard.
34:00I lost consciousness.
34:04I...
34:06I...
34:06I don't know how...
34:10I know who saved me.
34:15I was taken away from that foster family,
34:17immediately taken...
34:18actually taken in to...
34:20by the Catholics who adopted me.
34:23I...
34:26my point...
34:28is...
34:29actually I have two points.
34:30My first is I understand pain.
34:34I understand people who want to inflict pain.
34:40My second point...
34:42is that boy, me...
34:47I...
34:47I had no one...
34:50to talk to.
34:51No one.
34:54And...
34:55I thought since then,
34:57I resolved I would never let anyone
35:00be alone like that,
35:01like I was again.
35:04and...
35:06but...
35:06but I think...
35:08you do need to be alone, Phil.
35:13Penance is about change.
35:15It's not about ends.
35:19If you commit the same sin,
35:21you can't just clean it off,
35:22and you can't think one act cleans the slate.
35:25It doesn't...
35:26God doesn't work like that.
35:28God loves,
35:29but God also expects,
35:30and what does he expect?
35:31He expects love.
35:35He expects...
35:37love.
35:39For yourself...
35:40and for others.
35:42And he expects you to be the best love.
35:46John chapter 4, verse 8.
35:48Dear friends, let us love one another,
35:50for love comes from God.
35:51Everyone who loves has been born of God
35:53and knows God.
36:04So no, no, I will not sit in judgment on your act.
36:08It's a sin how you've lived,
36:10and if you kill yourself,
36:11it'll be a sin how you die.
36:14But I will say this.
36:17Yeah, you're right.
36:18I...
36:18I am weak.
36:21But you are weaker.
36:24If you think you truly have no way of helping yourself.
36:30And I will be...
36:31I will do everything I can to help Bianca see this through,
36:36so you stay in here...
36:40for a very long time.
37:08I will do everything I can to help.
37:09I will do everything I can to help you.
37:10I will do everything I can to help you.
37:31Hello.
37:34hello this is the surprise yeah I thought about calling I didn't want to
37:40catch you unawares well you caught me unawares on your last visit so fair's
37:45fair and you're cooking the James family invited us over I thought I'd make my
37:52apple cake Chris Chris don't let me stop you do you want to
38:20help she's helping me now you can go back to your room nice to see you and you
38:27dad are you well we're cooking that was not thing to do wasn't it forgot I had
38:45some out you decor and slice I'll keep working on the rest of it
38:57I've been making a yogurt and apple cake actually we had a farmer who would
39:05spot me doesn't matter I hate it when you do that when you're superior like that
39:17it doesn't matter and you were the arbiter I am I'm just I'm just here to see you
39:28mum I just want to help me make a cake I like thin slices feels like they melt into the
39:44cake when
39:45they're thin
40:11I need a lift dad
40:12okay where to
40:44Hello, Father.
40:46Hello, um, I just wondered if Anna, whether I could talk to Anna.
40:53Um, no, I'm afraid you can't.
40:56I know I've made mistakes, I just want to explain or try to set things right, just talk to her.
41:04She's gone back.
41:06Back where?
41:16Yeah, she, um, she left me a letter.
41:21Probably thought I'd try to convince her different.
41:30Are you trying to come in?
41:31She's made a mistake.
41:36I think you've thought that a few times.
41:38She has.
41:42She took her skin off for you.
41:48Maybe she just wanted to put it on again.
41:53Feel safe again.
42:01Yeah.
42:12Anna?
42:17Oh, it is you.
42:19And looking so healthy.
42:21Look at that lovely hair.
42:24Hello, Polly.
42:26Hello, Agnes.
42:29I didn't think I'd see you again.
42:32You have light all through you.
42:53Hello.
42:57I, are you, uh, in the, in the middle of something on the stage?
43:01Dave, please.
43:05Please don't make this humiliating.
43:08I wasn't intending to.
43:11But...
43:12May I ask why?
43:15This is my home.
43:17No.
43:18It is a home of God.
43:26Did he reject you?
43:28No.
43:30Are you going to change your mind again?
43:33No.
43:34Sorry to ask.
43:35I hope you...
43:37know why I have...
43:39Is there still a place...
43:41for me?
43:43Of course.
43:45There is.
43:47I can do good work here.
43:50You always did.
43:53I, uh...
43:55I have my habit.
43:58If you want to...
44:00You may put it back on.
44:06You are loved here.
44:09And we are pleased you'll find your way back.
44:15I love you too.
44:19And...
44:21I will try not to expect you to be the same person now as you were when you left us.
44:29Though you do seem to be just as irritating.
44:33In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.
44:37The Lord be with you.
44:39And with your spirit.
44:44Lord, we have sinned against you.
44:48Lord, have mercy.
44:50Lord, have mercy.
44:53Lord, hear our prayer to fill us as you filled your Son with love,
44:58to fight the world.
45:02Help us...
45:05to...
45:06Help...
45:09help... help us to...
45:12Amen.
45:14Amen.
45:17Show us.
45:20Show us your mercy...
45:22and your love.
45:24And grant us your salvation.
45:30May Almighty God have mercy on us,
45:33forgive our sins,
45:36and bring us to everlasting life.
45:40Amen.
45:42Amen.
46:04Amen.
46:05Amen.
46:06Amen.
46:12Amen.
46:17Amen.
46:17Amen.
46:18Amen.
46:20Amen.
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