- 6 hours ago
The Valley Season 3 Episode 7
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00I feel like we're not quite on the same page energy-wise, and I need that.
00:03I'm focused on being with you in the rollercoaster, nothing else, and I feel like you're a little critical of
00:07me.
00:07No, I'm feeling it's like formative.
00:10I'm alright!
00:13I'm alright!
00:15Everything is alright!
00:18Everything is alright!
00:22I'm alright!
00:36I'll take three hi-chews.
00:38How was the rollercoaster? Oh, it was so much fun!
00:40Are we doing dinner soon?
00:41Yeah, let's go!
00:43The house is actually nice, and they have a llama and two goats, and there's a donkey, and a gym.
00:49You're not paying any attention.
00:51What?
00:52It's so pretty!
00:54You got a gorilla? You got a gorilla?
00:58Let's go, bro.
01:00I don't feel that great.
01:01I can't be in your body.
01:02Where are we going? What's it called?
01:03Straff.
01:04Straff. Oh, I see it. I see it.
01:09This is like a sports bar. I'll watch this.
01:11Oh, this is quite lively!
01:12Oh, damn!
01:13I'm so hungry, though.
01:17Thank you so much!
01:19Mia, Benji, Zach, Jessie, Lacey.
01:23Yeah, right where she has her hand on.
01:25Hey guys!
01:26Hello!
01:26Are we here?
01:27Do we have enough chairs for everybody?
01:29I think I can sit by Lacey, or by Zach.
01:31Okay, so we'll sit here then.
01:32That's okay.
01:32Is that fine?
01:33Yeah.
01:33Hi.
01:35Can I sit here?
01:36We walk into dinner, and there's only two spots available, either sitting next to Lacey,
01:42or across from her.
01:43I don't want to hang out with Lacey on my trip to San Diego with my friends.
01:48I think I'm going to move over a little that way.
01:52Bring your chair.
01:53Bring your chair.
01:54Bring your chair.
01:56I don't care.
01:56I know.
01:57I just wanted you closer to me.
01:59Like, cool.
02:00I'm hoping in the future Michelle and I can get to just like a place of mutual respect,
02:06but the way that her and her friends treated me last summer was truly like the worst way
02:13I've ever been treated.
02:15Hello?
02:15Michelle and I are here talking about my friend in Orange County.
02:20That she's been sleeping with other guys.
02:22Is that true or false?
02:23That is correct.
02:24The guy from Baywatch.
02:27But Janet, specifically, I just don't vibe with her.
02:30She just does things that are so sneaky, mean.
02:33She was like, I'm going to send all of you guys cease and desist so you don't talk about me.
02:37It's truly, like, diabolical.
02:39They have a Belmont Park IPA.
02:42I'll get up with you.
02:43Yeah.
02:44Oh, you're a good friend.
02:44You're your best friend with Janet?
02:46She's in peace.
02:48I feel like I don't think I want to see a woman.
02:53So you want to call an Uber?
02:54Yeah.
02:54Do you want me to go with you?
02:56Or do you want me to bring you food?
02:57Or what do you want to do?
02:57You can say I can associate.
02:59I don't want to be shot.
03:02I don't want to be a negative man.
03:04I mean, if you feel like , you feel like .
03:06I mean, the fact that you gave birth to our daughter, man, we'll be looking right now.
03:10It's part of that still.
03:14And no, saying that good is true, and that's literally, why would I just say that?
03:19I'm physically uncomfortable because I'm having to change an adult diaper.
03:27Okay, I need a restroom.
03:28I feel like I need to breathe.
03:30I can feel it.
03:31I'm so pissed.
03:32It's annoying.
03:34And I didn't want to come because I don't .
03:36Why do I have to be here wasting my time when I could just be at home in bed?
03:41I feel like there's a lot of tension.
03:43I feel like there's a lot of tension.
03:44For you to check out because you need to lay in bed because of what your body is pushing
03:48out of you.
03:49Is that what I should do?
03:50I'm not going to tell you what you should do.
03:51I'm not in your body.
03:53I'm telling you there's only so much I can empathize with because I can't physically experience
03:59what you're experiencing.
04:00That's all I'm saying.
04:01I don't have an idea of that.
04:02Just like.
04:03I'm sorry.
04:03Okay, then I'm just sorry.
04:05I didn't mean it in that way.
04:06I'm not trying to make you feel bad.
04:07Postpartum is much harder than pregnancy.
04:10And I think it's surprised me at how distant I feel from Luke.
04:15I think I thought we really could focus on being a team.
04:19But Luke's never going to understand what it's like to be in my shoes.
04:23Hey.
04:24How are you guys doing?
04:25It's just like now I'm just making this a big deal.
04:27It's getting me so uncomfortable.
04:29Why can't my fiance just be like, Jason, if you don't look at the home, don't be like,
04:33I can't fix the video in your body.
04:35Like.
04:37Okay, hold on.
04:39Postpartum is real, man.
04:40It is a real thing.
04:41I don't, I don't care what I'm saying.
04:42It's a lot.
04:44You okay?
04:45Not.
04:45Oh my God.
04:46This is what I'm talking about.
04:47I will.
04:49Sorry.
04:49Sorry.
04:49I was just asking.
04:50I'm.
04:51This is exactly what I'm talking about.
04:54I can't just not feel great without it being this big sayonara.
04:58You're a big ass .
04:59This is what I'm talking about.
05:00Are you okay?
05:01I thought you were looking at me.
05:02You okay?
05:03I mean, emotionally, no.
05:07She doesn't want everybody talking about it.
05:09I think that's what it is.
05:12It will be much more comfortable saying.
05:15No.
05:15Don't.
05:16No.
05:16It's not.
05:17It really sucks.
05:19Kristen and my relationship is not an ideal place to feel like a verbal punching bag.
05:25I just wish there was a mutual understanding that we're both figuring this out.
05:29I just want to go to bed.
05:31She needs to go lay down.
05:31She needs to go lay down.
05:33Anybody would want to lay down if they want her.
05:34She needs to lay down.
05:36I love you.
05:38Part of me believes this is very normal for new parents.
05:42And there's another part of me that believes this is insanity.
05:47What happened?
05:47She's already in the car.
05:49I'm headed back.
05:49I don't know.
05:50I think it's physical.
05:51I'll put it 100%.
05:52Okay.
05:53Like.
05:54Michelle.
05:55How would you feel if Jesse was our officiant at our wedding?
06:00He's not our officiant at our wedding.
06:00Whatever makes you happy.
06:02Are you sure?
06:03It's a joke.
06:04You guys are not letting him officiate your wedding.
06:07Of course they are.
06:08Off the top of your dome, do an officiant right now.
06:11This is your audition.
06:12Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for joining us today.
06:14Please be seated.
06:15I am here in New Jersey to celebrate love of two women
06:20that I have grown so close to over the years.
06:23And what is love to us?
06:26Love is not defined by.
06:28Are you going to give a dictionary definition?
06:30Of course.
06:31Blame.
06:31You're losing.
06:32That was my audition.
06:33Come on.
06:33You've got to go harder.
06:35Can I give my audition?
06:36Yeah.
06:38We all know.
06:39Wait, Jesse.
06:40When you find love.
06:41With competition.
06:41And you choose to get married, you know that it will end.
06:47But, you guys are lesbians.
06:50We're going to share the test of time.
06:53You guys, thank you so much for playing.
06:55Lala, you're hired.
06:56Lala, you're hired.
06:57Vote for Lala.
07:00Salute.
07:03Not eye contact.
07:05You look so cute.
07:08Whoa, whoa, whoa.
07:09You can't look away.
07:10Oh, you gotta look up.
07:11Eye contact with the chairs.
07:14And sip.
07:17That's it.
07:18Oh, no.
07:18You're finishing them.
07:19No.
07:20Oh, we're not calling them.
07:21No.
07:21I have heard that Danny, when he drinks just one too many, becomes very obnoxious and loud
07:27and super annoying.
07:28Bah.
07:30You're not eating these things.
07:32Bring them over.
07:33And I hear someone super annoying and loud and obnoxious, and it's Danny.
07:38Look at me in the eyes.
07:40I don't focus on any negativity.
07:44One of each appetizers were over on this side.
07:47Mine?
07:48Do you have yours?
07:49Here.
07:51I do know with myself, one too many, and aggression starts happening.
07:58So I'm watching Danny like a hawk, and I gotta be on guard.
08:03You can do it, Michelle.
08:06I just don't want you to yawn because you might be, you know, labeled an alcoholic if
08:11you fall asleep.
08:13Stop.
08:14That's what happens.
08:16That's what happens.
08:17Starting.
08:18Starting.
08:19I'm ignoring.
08:21I love this.
08:21This is such a fun day.
08:23I just don't want her to be labeled.
08:25Can we go?
08:25No problem.
08:26I'm ready to take this shirt off and put sweatpants on.
08:29Not like that.
08:30All right.
08:31We're going.
08:32Janet, can you guys stay back and have a quick chat with Lacey and I?
08:35Yeah.
08:38You guys are gonna chopper a little bit?
08:40Okay.
08:40Bye, guys.
08:42I ate so much fast food.
08:44When we get home, I'll get the baby down, and then I'll hand you the monitor.
08:49I noticed you blocked me, so I didn't want to, like, intrude if there's, like, a boundary
08:53there.
08:54If there's anything you want to talk to me about, I'm here.
08:58The thing is, I don't personally like this gang up, mean girl, bully thing.
09:05Okay.
09:05Michelle's point of view on me is warranted because they were married and they were going
09:10through a hard time.
09:11With you, the way you treated me is, like, so uncool.
09:15Like, you went on national television and told the world I was threatening to sue you.
09:21You said you were going to send everyone cease and desist.
09:23I never said that to you.
09:25Okay.
09:26Okay.
09:26I never said that.
09:27I don't have a mean girl gang up mentality.
09:30I did not like that you sent Michelle a legal letter.
09:32That's the only problem I've ever had with you.
09:34Like, my wish is that I told you you hurt my feelings and you were like, I'm so sorry.
09:38I treated you unfairly because I'm a ride or die for my friend and, like, you don't deserve
09:43that.
09:43Instead, you're still making excuses.
09:45Like, you shouldn't have sent a legal letter.
09:47Wait, but all you were upset about is that I said you threatened legal action.
09:51I'm upset from the day I met you for how you treated me and said, oh my gosh, you're
09:56lazy.
09:56I saw on Reddit you auditioned for Housewives like 17 times and you were laughing.
10:00I have the message from you apologizing.
10:02Did you ever audition for Orange County Housewives?
10:05Yeah.
10:06That's not my issue.
10:07My issue is, when I met Janet, the first thing she said to me was how she was Googling
10:13me and doing a background check and she went on a deep dive on me on Reddit.
10:18Because that's weird and inappropriate.
10:21Am I lying?
10:22I don't think it was exactly like that, but sure.
10:24Okay.
10:25That came off as offensive to you, I'm sorry.
10:26Well, first of all, you don't audition for Housewives, so we were laughing about it.
10:29Well, here's what you did.
10:29I was like, okay, great.
10:30You should be like, yeah, I said that.
10:31It was a bad joke.
10:32It was important.
10:33Pull the message.
10:33I just want to have a fun weekend.
10:35I'm really happy you guys are here.
10:37I hope you guys have a fun weekend too.
10:38This is the type of apology that everybody hates you for.
10:42It's the type of apology with that.
10:44What exactly is she apologizing for?
10:46It's not an apology.
10:48Well, I guess you guys just don't mean much to me, so I just don't, it's not worth my
10:51time.
10:52I've met Lacey a couple times.
10:54The fact, though, that she thinks I'm digging up information is interesting because everything
10:58I know about her, she's come out and told me.
11:01Wait, Janet.
11:01Walk in the way.
11:02Oh, and this is what she does.
11:04She did this.
11:05She did this in Santa Barbara when I brought up Lacey.
11:07Stop trying to play a game with me.
11:09Your friends shouldn't be threatening legal stuff.
11:12Well, you know what?
11:13Your best friend shouldn't have been cheating on me for two years, but she did.
11:15Honestly, if I was married to you, I would be cheating on you too.
11:18Don't yell at her.
11:19That's a Janet thing.
11:20Don't take my battle.
11:22Don't talk.
11:23What is, you guys, this is like too far.
11:25Good job.
11:25Like, this is too far.
11:28you.
11:31Coming up.
11:32Being first time parents, there are times that things drive her to a point of taking
11:36things out on people she loves.
11:37To just feel like, respected and loved, and I don't feel that.
11:51Don't talk.
11:52Janet.
11:54You.
11:55Like, this is too far.
11:56Let her walk away.
11:57She always walks away.
11:58Don't yell over me.
11:59She always walks away from a battle.
12:00What is your problem right now?
12:01Can you stop talking right now?
12:02We're going to get upset with you.
12:04Hey.
12:05Hey.
12:06Can you come to the car if you come around?
12:07I'm coming right now.
12:08I'm coming right now.
12:09I'm coming.
12:10Be my teammate.
12:11Don't, like, stop me and say that.
12:13Because I don't appreciate you yelling in my ear either.
12:15There's no realm in which you're going to yell.
12:16Janet does the same thing every time.
12:17Janet does the same thing every time.
12:17Janet can't just be like, you're right, I forgot I wrote that to you.
12:21I'm sorry.
12:22She instead tries to manipulate the situation, then jumps up, storms away.
12:27It's like, sit down and take your medicine.
12:30Just grow up.
12:32It just drives me nuts.
12:34I'm not trying to poke at you.
12:35I'm not trying to start anything.
12:37I'm telling you the only thing I ever disliked was the legal letter thing.
12:42Lacey told her experience.
12:45And Janet's idea of...
12:46Remember last year?
12:47...was defensive.
12:48Defensive.
12:49There's not this, like, hatred or animosity towards you.
12:52That's my whole persona now.
12:54Like, you can Google my name and it's Baywatch cheating, threatening, lying.
12:57David Hasselhoff blocked me, so...
13:01Shut up.
13:02Hand to God.
13:02And I think his new wife did.
13:03And I was never referring to him, so I feel so bad.
13:09I'm sorry if I've hurt your feelings.
13:11Genuinely.
13:11I'm not, like, I don't go and sit with, like, six girlfriends and, like, gab a doll.
13:15We've never done that.
13:16Like, genuinely.
13:17Give me your car key.
13:18I'll go get the car.
13:19Can you apologize for yelling?
13:20Because that really did offend you.
13:21At some point.
13:22No, right now.
13:23Not right now.
13:24No.
13:24Please.
13:25We can all move forward if you'll peg him tonight.
13:27I don't even know what that means.
13:29He's your s***.
13:29No, I don't want that.
13:30I want you to f*** Jesse in the ass.
13:32I don't even talk about that stuff.
13:33Sorry.
13:34Let's not.
13:35Okay, cool.
13:36Add it to my new mental list.
13:37Things to be offended by.
13:38Yeah, okay, great.
13:39Let's get the car.
13:41That way.
13:43Where's our car?
13:47We home.
13:49Yop, yop, yop.
13:50Thank you, sir.
13:57I can't wait to change.
13:59Cozy.
14:00Ooh, y'all missed all the drama.
14:03Don't tell.
14:03Don't tell.
14:04I can't pay attention without my face.
14:06It's a mean, mad guy.
14:07He said sorry.
14:09It's hard to do.
14:09Do you?
14:09It's hard not to be mean surrounded by mean energy.
14:12I'm gonna take a shower, like right before we go to bed.
14:14We rub up on each other.
14:16Black knees.
14:16Black knees.
14:17My titties won't be here for long.
14:18You gotta do it while it's hot.
14:20Can you put it all on the top?
14:21I'm on the top.
14:23These are accordion closet doors.
14:26They fold up like an accordion.
14:27I don't know what that means, and I don't want to.
14:30Tell us everything.
14:31By the way, you look ridiculous.
14:33That is so ugly.
14:35This is me in my prime of my life.
14:39I have a beer, and my feet are being squeezed.
14:42Okay, I got one arm latched.
14:43I got you in a good room, because what the hell happened?
14:45I don't like her, and I don't like him.
14:48Hey, you need to say sorry for that injury.
14:50Let's just get you settled.
14:51You're like a whiny, like, uh.
14:53Let's get you settled in.
14:54You're giving me the ick.
14:55Okay.
14:56Let's get you settled in.
14:59Get you out of your fancy dinner dress.
15:04No, I still have it.
15:05Okay.
15:06She said it's six girls ganging up on her all at once.
15:09Nobody was ganging up on her.
15:11She said, a year ago, I said to her,
15:14I knew that you auditioned for the housewives.
15:18Get off the ick.
15:19Can't get off the chair.
15:20By the way, I've heard it from like 50 people
15:23that she's tried to be a housewife.
15:25Who cares?
15:25Why does she care what I think?
15:27I'm a fan.
15:28If anybody was ganging up on somebody,
15:30it was her ganging up on me.
15:32Amen.
15:32I said, the only thing I don't like
15:33is that you sent my friend a legal letter.
15:35Has she apologized to you for that?
15:36No.
15:37No, never.
15:39Uh-oh.
15:39Uh-oh.
15:40I'm doing an extend.
15:42Oh, it's stretching me out.
15:45Oh, I'm going back.
15:49Oh, no.
15:51I can't breathe.
15:55Oh, my God.
15:56I can't breathe.
15:57Oh, my God.
15:57Where were we?
16:01Oh, man.
16:02Why does she have to go so dark, bro?
16:03I'm just kind of concerned because Kristen seemed like she was in a very negative headspace.
16:10Because I know Kristen's just going through so many things.
16:12What happened today?
16:14Being first-time parents with a three-month-old child, there are times that things drive her
16:18to a point of taking things out on people she loves.
16:23I think you also know that-
16:24Which is you and me.
16:25Which is us.
16:26Yeah.
16:26I will say I did feel like it was getting-
16:28But you just feel like it was getting-
16:29Respected and loved.
16:30And I don't feel that.
16:31The constant criticism is hurtful.
16:33And they stick with me.
16:35And make me question, am I a good dad?
16:39Am I failing Kristen?
16:42Am I even a good person?
16:44I just want them acknowledged that she doesn't mean him.
16:47Just tell me-
16:49I snapped.
16:50I lost my mind.
16:50But regardless, I shouldn't have said those and I'm sorry.
16:53Because I love you and I want to live the rest of my life with you.
16:57And I love our daughter together and, you know, whatever.
17:00That's it.
17:01Our first night out.
17:02Dude, that's our first night out.
17:03First time we're both leaving Kaia together.
17:05And we got in that fight.
17:07Don't try to, like, one-up you right now.
17:09This is what you're doing.
17:09You never under-
17:10You have empathy for people other than me.
17:13I feel like any time I misstep, I have to walk on eggshells most of the time.
17:16I know that fight sucked.
17:18The day after, like, your text messages to me were, all I care about is Kaia.
17:24All I care about is Kristen.
17:26If I misstep, I'm done.
17:29I know it's really hard sometimes with Kristen.
17:32And I know it's really hard in these moments.
17:34And, like, I don't even know why I'm crying.
17:37You should be crying.
17:38I get it.
17:39It's not that she's not going to misstep because God knows she is going to.
17:44But what you do is you support her when she needs it most.
17:47And you were, you were everything she needs at the moment she needs it.
17:55But you were such a good person.
17:56And you were so good at Kristen.
17:58And, like, the best parent to Kaia.
18:01And that's all that matters.
18:05It's been a long time since I've felt the appreciation of what you just said about me.
18:09That's not something I hear.
18:10I never thought that there was potential I'd be in a really dark place when I have a newborn baby
18:16with Kristen.
18:17Like, that's not something I considered.
18:18I mean, Kristen and I wanted Kaia.
18:20We wanted a baby really badly.
18:22We worked really hard for this.
18:24And now it feels like it's tearing us apart.
18:27There are times I feel like I'm fighting for us and she's fighting against me.
18:30And that's it.
18:30That's all there is to it.
18:50Hi, guys.
18:52This one looks like it's got eyeliner on.
19:01I was going to ask if I could use your shower.
19:03Do you have enough towels or do I need to get one?
19:05Grab a towel.
19:06There's two.
19:06There's some right out there.
19:07Don't take from anybody.
19:09Don't let these girls bully you to make you feel like anything.
19:13Is everybody ready for the safari?
19:14I can't remember the last time I went to a booth.
19:17It's been a while for me.
19:19Lala, I gotta tell you something.
19:21I had the most fleshly, intense, carnal sex dream and you were involved in it.
19:31What?
19:31I swear I'm not trying to be lewd or, like, I can't talk about it.
19:35Wait, were you super dirty to me?
19:36Yes.
19:37Oh, my God.
19:38And taking it to the grave and I erased it from my memory.
19:41Especially because I'm in a relationship.
19:42No, tell us what happened.
19:42You didn't really cheat on her, Schwartz.
19:44I know, but I-
19:45Just a dream.
19:46I'm not even trying to be funny right now.
19:47I literally was worried about looking you in the eye this morning.
19:50And that's how-
19:51Just give me something.
19:52We went right into it.
19:53There was no foreplay or anything.
19:54Was your s*** on my chest or something?
19:56I don't understand.
19:57Not that level, but we were, you know, we did some freaky stuff.
20:00I just don't see him slapping ass, choking out.
20:04I just don't.
20:05I see him kind of being like, yeah, this is fun, with his, like, glasses kind of steamed up.
20:10His socks are probably still on.
20:12Whoa.
20:13Wait, did you wake up with a phone?
20:15Hard on?
20:18Whoa, whoa.
20:19Hey, you can't ask me that.
20:20Oh, my God, he did!
20:22We're getting off track here.
20:23I'm so into it, Schwartz.
20:24No!
20:29I feel like I worked at the zoo, unfortunately.
20:31You're on, like, a fancy safari, and you paid me to be your guide at the zoo.
20:35Yeah, that's exactly it.
20:36It's okay.
20:37Do you like my safari outfit?
20:38I do.
20:39I do.
20:39I like those shorts are perfect.
20:40Right?
20:41I'm gonna probably have to leave from the safari-
20:43To go to your work dinner?
20:44To go to a work dinner, yeah.
20:45I was looking at it.
20:46It makes no sense for you to come back late night just to sleep here.
20:49But then I'll be leaving you here with, like-
20:51I mean, things got pretty intense last night.
20:52Yeah, it did.
20:53Maybe today the vibe will be different.
20:54We'll see.
20:54Maybe we'll see some-
20:55I don't know, a rhinoceros or something and get in a good mood.
20:58Yeah.
20:58I'm really excited for giraffes.
21:04Oh, there's a swing.
21:06Oh, it's a beautiful swing.
21:07I know.
21:08It's actually really relaxing.
21:09Feels like a rocking chair.
21:11Do you love this shirt?
21:12Is it so reminiscent?
21:14I miss it.
21:16Look at those shirts.
21:17Oh, my goodness.
21:18Look at the t-shirts!
21:20Oh, what size is that?
21:22I don't know.
21:22I'm thinking it might be Benji's shirt.
21:24It's a medium.
21:25It definitely is.
21:28Do you feel well rested?
21:29How are you feeling?
21:29I'm feeling bloated again.
21:31This is the stuff you don't hear about, you know?
21:34Everyone's like, the pregnancy, the pregnancy.
21:36And it's like, it's after that is so gnarly.
21:41Yeah.
21:42That's why I get anxiety about leaving the house and stuff.
21:45I'm like, I'm in my comfort zone.
21:47Like, I just want to be with her and go to bed.
21:49Yeah.
21:50I don't know.
21:51What you're going through, trying to be as empathetic and patient as possible.
21:56It just, it does wear on me.
21:58I feel like the times where I start getting short is when I feel like I'm being treated in a
22:02way I don't deserve.
22:03And I'm not necessarily doing it to you.
22:04It just builds up to the point where I get into this kind of defensive mode where I'm like, don't
22:09clap back.
22:10Don't whatever.
22:11Keep it short.
22:12Don't think it's just going to stir things up.
22:14Either one of us are defensive in whatever moment, I think is what a lot of the problem is.
22:20I feel like there are times and sometimes more frequent than others where it's like, it's being, you're being sharp.
22:28You're, you know, if I'm not doing exactly what you think I should be doing, I'm hearing it.
22:34And sometimes I'm just like, I get a little beat down and all I want from you is for you
22:39to say like, you know, it's stress and anxiety.
22:42I don't mean to be this way.
22:43It's for you.
22:44Like literally just like that would take weight off my chest.
22:47I think I just get overwhelmed so that I'm like, I don't know.
22:51But I agree with you.
22:52It's not fair.
22:53I had anxiety well before I even had Kaya, but at the postpartum anxiety on top of it, it's just,
23:00it's a mess.
23:02Sometimes I feel rage.
23:03Sometimes I feel uncontrollable sadness.
23:07And I may mean to say a certain thing a certain way, but it comes out completely out of pocket.
23:15And it comes out, especially toward Luke, as something that I don't feel or mean.
23:21I definitely don't need to take it out on you.
23:24And I shouldn't take it out on you.
23:26It's like not conducive or helpful to like our household and are such an amazing dad to her.
23:31And you guys have such a special relationship between the two of you that makes me so happy.
23:35So I just, I need to like, try to be more patient.
23:41Luke is so different than anyone that I've ever been with.
23:45Thank God.
23:45He really wants to communicate and just talk through things rather than sweep them under the rug.
23:50Let's get angry.
23:51And I keep getting angry in this snowball effect.
23:54But I still worry that at some point he's going to be like, I've had enough.
23:58Like the way I felt with exes in the past and moments of really heightened anxiety.
24:05You know, you and Kaya are my absolute priority.
24:08Nothing more important in the world.
24:10I love you.
24:12Love you.
24:17Coming up.
24:19I'm just worried about how hot it is.
24:21Why are you laughing?
24:22Daniel.
24:24What?
24:24I'm really overwhelmed and I'm hot and our baby's hot.
24:27So it's a lot for me.
24:28Yeah.
24:39If you like it what you say, come grab me hope for me.
24:43Wait, I have passes for everybody.
24:48Woohoo.
24:49Looking for a map.
24:50I'm doing a map.
24:51I'll take a wheelchair.
24:52Let's do it.
24:52Oh baby.
24:53What are we doing with the baby?
24:54She's coming with us.
24:55Are you serious?
24:57If you have a problem with something, you need to also have a solution for me.
25:00If you want to hop on, either one is good.
25:02Alright.
25:03Welcome.
25:05I'm the only one that brought a survivor back here.
25:07Babe, the baby.
25:09Why are you not helping the baby get up here?
25:10My goodness.
25:11Is Lena not coming?
25:12Lena's coming.
25:13Okay.
25:14She's...
25:15What's happening?
25:15So the baby needs to come up.
25:16It means you're in charge of that.
25:17With the duna?
25:18Yes.
25:18Okay.
25:19She needs help.
25:19She's got a backpack.
25:20She's got a carrier.
25:21She doesn't know.
25:21You didn't tell her anything.
25:22You need to be in charge.
25:24Daniel is super ready to enjoy the safari park and I want to join him, but I have the
25:31baby.
25:31I feel like I'm juggling so much and taking care of all the little details and I just want him
25:35to be like there with me.
25:38Do you need her with us?
25:41Yeah, she's hungry.
25:41I need to nurse her 10 minutes ago.
25:45Okay.
25:46Game time.
25:46Game time.
25:47Hell yeah.
25:48Game time.
25:49Game time.
25:49We're all in the same spot.
25:51After my conversation with Luke this morning, I really do want us to be in a better place.
25:57I want to be softer on him.
25:58I want to be more fun.
26:00I want today to be drama free, easy breezy.
26:03So much that I'm willing to offer myself as tribute and go sit on the same van as Janet.
26:09Hi guys.
26:09My name's Amelia.
26:10I'm going to be your guide while we're out here.
26:12Hi.
26:12We've got some zip lining.
26:14We're going into the habitats to get as close as we possibly can with these animals.
26:18Time for a little milk.
26:20A little lecture.
26:21We're going to head down.
26:22What are we doing with this baby right now?
26:24She's staying with us the whole next 90 minutes.
26:26Are there any favorite animals I should know about though?
26:29Giraffes.
26:29Elephants.
26:30Elephants.
26:31We have our giraffes, our rhinos, everybody just rolling around all together all day long.
26:35Also on the driver's side, we do have our elephant habitat.
26:38Oh, they're so cute.
26:40And then we have another little one named Micaiah.
26:42Micaiah?
26:43Micaiah?
26:44Kristin, there's Micaiah.
26:46Micaiah was actually our biggest baby.
26:47She was 250 pounds when she was born.
26:50They're pregnant for two years.
26:52So that's a long time to cook.
26:53My God.
26:54Two years.
26:54They're miserable, right?
26:55Yeah.
26:56They also weigh like five tons.
26:57I have so much sympathy for them.
26:59They're like eight, eight, four, and four tons.
27:00This place is huge.
27:02Whoa, look at the giraffes.
27:03You guys see them?
27:03Oh, my goodness.
27:06Oh, my God.
27:07Wow.
27:08Oh, yeah.
27:08Yay.
27:10And I feel him.
27:11I used to feel him.
27:12I know him right now.
27:14He knows he's hot.
27:15You know what I mean?
27:16No one likes that.
27:17That is so funny.
27:19Very hot for a baby.
27:20Not good.
27:21She should be like in the shade.
27:23Oh, and the rhinos.
27:25The rhinos.
27:25Scary part, yeah.
27:26See the wildebeest?
27:27Lion King?
27:28I know.
27:29I was looking at that.
27:30Yeah.
27:30I'm just worried about how hot it is.
27:34Why are you laughing?
27:35Daniel.
27:36Um, if we were...
27:37Daniel.
27:38What?
27:38Why are you laughing?
27:40A lot going on.
27:41Yeah, that is.
27:42We're really overwhelmed, and I'm hot when our baby's on.
27:45There's nowhere to cool her off.
27:46Oh, oh, oh.
27:46So it's a lot for me.
27:48Yeah.
27:49It was a lot.
27:51Can you be attuned, Timmy?
27:53Yeah.
27:53Um, can you look inside and bring back if there's anything we can stand her with?
27:56You don't want chicken.
27:58Okay, you're not attuned to make those faces.
28:00What are you looking for?
28:01Just something to stand her with when there's no airflow.
28:04Oh, thank you.
28:07Oh.
28:08Here, you gonna...
28:09Will this help?
28:10Just like a little...
28:10No, it's okay.
28:11Okay.
28:12It definitely is a little weird seeing, like, Danny and Mia bicker because then I start
28:16feeling awkward that I have to go, look, a giraffe!
28:18Look, when we get into the sun, try to adjust if you can.
28:23It's so pretty!
28:25Normally, they handle their stuff behind closed doors, which we all know, so I think something
28:30is brewing there.
28:31If you're not going on a zip line, we are taking you off this truck now.
28:33I love you.
28:34Bye, Jason!
28:35Bye, I love you.
28:36See you back home tomorrow.
28:38Yeah.
28:39What's that smell?
28:40I thought it did.
28:41Yeah.
28:43Jesus.
28:44Here's the bar.
28:45That's more important.
28:46Definitely.
28:46Hi!
28:47I will take a rhino full of vodka.
28:50Oh, my God.
28:51Look how far that is.
28:53Absolutely not.
28:54Even if Channing Tatum was like, I'll kiss you, I'd be like, I guess I'm missing out.
29:01Jesse, you feeling good?
29:03Yippee-ki-yay, mother .
29:05Don't scream because we don't want to scare the animals.
29:08Three, two, one.
29:17My stomach is in my butthole.
29:18Here I come, you horny rhino.
29:22Oh, God.
29:24You know what?
29:25This is...
29:25Okay.
29:29Oh, there's a bug on me.
29:31Ow.
29:31Oh, this is nice.
29:33Wow, this is beautiful.
29:38Look at Kristen's face.
29:41Oh, my God.
29:42What?
29:44Oh, my God.
29:45Oh, my God.
29:45You're going to catch me.
29:48That was beautiful.
29:49Hell, yeah.
29:53Did you bite your tongue?
29:55Yay!
29:58Woo!
29:59Oh, my God.
30:01Ah!
30:02That was amazing.
30:04I don't know that I loved it.
30:06Oh, I like that.
30:07Thank you, guys.
30:07Hey.
30:08This is our food selection.
30:09I'm starving.
30:11I'll start with this.
30:12It's so good.
30:13What is this drink?
30:14Baca soda water.
30:15I love skinny margaritas if you can do that.
30:18I'll take a white cloth.
30:18We called it safari nirvana.
30:20That's what we decided.
30:21You know they said shoulder-width apart, right?
30:22Yeah.
30:22You spread eagles.
30:24Keep your, like, shoulder-width apart.
30:26Pull them together in the middle.
30:27You know, slowing down because I wanted to last longer.
30:29That's why I was making myself less aerodynamic.
30:30You know, fine.
30:31It was beautiful.
30:31Yeah, you would have screamed.
30:32I would have screamed.
30:32Yeah, you would have screamed.
30:33It would have been funny.
30:34Yeah.
30:34Well, I would have had to, like, shh.
30:35What's that?
30:36Shh.
30:36The animal.
30:37Shh.
30:38White cloth.
30:39White cloth.
30:39I'm doing the white cloth, yeah.
30:41You want a brie?
30:43There's honey over there.
30:44I know you like honey on your brie.
30:45I do like honey on my brie.
30:49All right, I'm gonna go and talk to her.
30:51Tell me one more time how to start it.
30:53You're gonna be friendly, but you have to be stern when you say, like,
30:57what happened last night will never happen again.
30:59Like, how are we supposed to co-parent healthy if you keep bringing up shh that doesn't matter?
31:06I know it's hard, but today set the boundary.
31:10Yeah.
31:10I made up bourbon and ginger.
31:12Hi.
31:13Can we speak?
31:15Yes.
31:16Please.
31:28So, this is obviously very awkward.
31:31I'd like to go first.
31:34I don't want what happened yesterday to ever happen again.
31:38Yeah.
31:39And I've tried my hardest with Jessie to move forward and to try to co-parent.
31:43First and foremost, I apologize and I feel horrible.
31:46I wanted you and I to just have, like, a mutual respect.
31:49And I know it's probably hard because of him, but I never wanted to be, like, against you.
31:56It's not about you.
31:57I've had a lot of discussions with Jessie as a father.
32:00For example, Jessie and I, as parents, agreed to not introduce people.
32:05But you texted Jessie and this is on him for showing me.
32:08He shouldn't show me your private information.
32:10We can agree on that.
32:11He showed me your text where you were like, I don't want that thing around Isabella.
32:15That will never be her step-mom.
32:17Look at her face.
32:17I swear to God.
32:19First of all, you have to imagine me as a mother.
32:20Okay?
32:21I'm dropping off my daughter.
32:22That's why I called you.
32:23There's a car outside.
32:24There's a woman in there.
32:26The agreement was we're not introducing women.
32:28It's not hate for you.
32:29I was angry at Jessie because he makes all of these rules and he's constantly trying to control me.
32:36I'm literally just seeking out a mutual agreement of doing better.
32:40I'm not trying to fight with you.
32:41I'm trying to do the same thing.
32:42And, like, what I ask from you is, like, do what you say.
32:46Like, you say you want to be good.
32:48But, Michelle, don't trigger me.
32:52Coming up.
32:53No wonder you're getting these taken off.
32:54Oh, I know! They're so heavy!
32:59I'm trying to do that.
33:00I'm trying to do what you say.
33:01Like, you say you want to be good.
33:03But, Michelle, I didn't...
33:03Don't trigger me.
33:04I left that marriage for a reason.
33:07And I have worked on myself and trying to forgive and move forward.
33:12You have to just...
33:13I know you're frustrated.
33:14I understand that.
33:15I would never intentionally cross your boundary.
33:19Okay.
33:19So this is a year compiled of me hearing time after time and reading the text where, yes, albeit you
33:25didn't like me in the beginning, but I've never texted someone about your appearance.
33:28I would just never do that.
33:29I don't text people about your appearance.
33:31I don't think you understand.
33:32He attacks me all the time.
33:34Then listen.
33:35You have no idea.
33:36You get one side of the story.
33:38I understand that.
33:38I think it's a deeper wound than me, but, like, I'm not a doctor.
33:41But I see so many therapists, so I feel like she has her own trauma, that she is unresolved.
33:46But my end goal is to get along with this woman.
33:49I would rather reach my end goal than be right in this conversation.
33:54There's a lot that I have kept privately, and I don't talk about things that happened in my marriage.
34:01And I'm sure you've heard some stories.
34:03And I think talking about my past and my marriage when you weren't in it is highly inappropriate.
34:10And I have worked on forgetting it and moving past it.
34:16Listen, I'm really sorry.
34:17I never want to go there, especially with you.
34:19I apologize.
34:20I'm also going off a year ago, you know?
34:23And that's on me to do better and, like, not keep going back to the past.
34:28Yeah.
34:28We're gonna move forward.
34:30I'm happy we could get there.
34:32I really am sorry.
34:33I feel like an asshole all night.
34:34Likewise, I feel awful for yelling because I don't really yell.
34:38It takes a lot for me to cry and yell.
34:40I've just only seen you guys yelling.
34:41I don't yell.
34:42No.
34:43I'm actually a very happy person.
34:45When I think of your boobs, the first thing I think of is...
34:49It's a heart test.
34:50It's a heart test.
34:51No.
34:51No.
34:52It's squirting milk across your dining room table when Ocean was a little baby.
34:56When you came to see her.
34:58And you were like, I'm leaking, I'm leaking.
35:01And it just, like, shot out.
35:03And I was like, whoa.
35:04That was my first real moment of, like, what breastfeeding was like.
35:08And then I'm sitting here and I'm like, come on.
35:10I'm like, come on, come.
35:12Oh, oh, there's a job.
35:13Okay, go, go, go, go.
35:14Come on, bitch.
35:15You guys good?
35:16Yeah, we're good.
35:17Amazing.
35:17Let's have a nice drink and enjoy ourselves at the safari.
35:20Let's do it.
35:21Are you okay?
35:21Yeah.
35:23You should apologize for last night too.
35:25I'll have my moment and it's not right now.
35:27Here's to a great safari.
35:29Cheers.
35:29Here's to us finding our friendships and more.
35:32Okay, love you all.
35:33Cheers.
35:34Cheers.
35:34You guys, let's go do one group photo with all the animals in the background.
35:37Okay, really quick.
35:38Check me and you in the back.
35:39You know the drill.
35:40Tall dudes in the back.
35:42Okay, everybody together.
35:43Rhyno.
35:44Rhyno.
35:45Rhyno.
35:45Rhyno.
35:48So you guys, I have a quick announcement.
35:50So we have to head back right now, but we have a surprise.
35:53The girls and I have been planning a pageant.
35:58It's going to be a male pageant.
36:01No.
36:03Y'all are in trouble.
36:04It's all I'm missing.
36:05We have costumes.
36:06We have wigs.
36:07We have accessories.
36:09This is a full competition.
36:10Obviously, I'm a former Miss USA.
36:12And so pages have been a part of my life in the past.
36:15And I feel like it would be really fun to let the guys get a little taste of what it's
36:19like to be us.
36:20You know, try to walk a mile on our heels.
36:23Your Ariel looks a little mermaid, but as a bride.
36:25I am my hall pass.
36:27Yes.
36:28And I'll be masturbating tonight.
36:30Yes, you're me and Ariel had a baby.
36:33Who's your hall pass?
36:34There you go.
36:35Channing Tatum, duh.
36:36Oh.
36:37Luke, go.
36:37Probably like the Little Mermaid.
36:39What?
36:40That's why you're at the costume store.
36:42And Lala is decorating you with me.
36:45Decorating.
36:46Decorating.
36:46I don't know if you know this, but I was a model in New York City.
36:55What are you going to do, Nia?
36:56I'm going to give her four minutes, sorry guys, of this.
36:58Hopefully, she starts to just fade on her own.
37:00But I don't think it'll happen.
37:01I'm going to have to nurse her.
37:11What a day, y'all.
37:12I need water.
37:14I feel like I've been in the Sahara.
37:16You guys, Zach made us stop for horrible things.
37:19Okay, number one.
37:20Four Loko!
37:22We want to be seen forever!
37:24What can I say about a Four Loko?
37:26Let's just say it is a very, very special drink that has the word Loko in it for a reason.
37:33Zach, we have so much to do.
37:35We've got to get ready.
37:36I'm going to go change.
37:38All right!
37:39Let's go.
37:39Let's go.
37:40Turn around.
37:41You've got options.
37:43Where the did you even order these from?
37:46They're the big and tall for women.
37:48Nia, get me ready.
37:50I'm going to chill.
37:53Double XL.
37:54I have an XL too.
37:56I do feel bloated.
37:58I will nurse her to sleep.
37:59So much going on.
38:00Listen, if this was a Magic Mike pageant right now, okay, it'd be game over in two seconds.
38:08You have to make sure that you have this on.
38:12Because this is my first drag experience ever, I am extremely excited.
38:16The breastplate alone, thank God.
38:19Can you handle this?
38:19No wonder you're getting sick at all.
38:21I know!
38:22They're so heavy!
38:23Even if my face don't look good, these boobs will look great.
38:28I want to be sledding.
38:29Okay.
38:29Let's do your dress first and everything else comes later.
38:32This is what I wanted from this trip.
38:34It's like dressing Kaya.
38:38Luke and I are having so much fun today and this is exactly why I came to San Diego.
38:42You're going to be Dolly Parton 9 to 5 with a little bit of laced COC.
38:47I kind of like this one.
38:49No, that's Lala.
38:51It's the weirdest thing I've ever done, babe.
38:52Do you think this is going to fit?
38:53They're size 13 men's.
38:55You can either do that or you can do that.
38:58I think I want to go big.
39:00This is probably my last chance ever.
39:01Okay.
39:02I've been in drag before and I love it.
39:07What?
39:07Everyone just told me that I'm the ugliest woman.
39:10Like, unanimously.
39:11Schwartz, you look so pretty.
39:14Hey, Midnighty turned back into Schwartz.
39:15Nia!
39:16They have been getting ready for the last 20 minutes.
39:19We're here to win.
39:20I know, I know, I know.
39:21Baby, I had to put the baby down.
39:22You're here to win.
39:24Yes.
39:24I'm here to win.
39:25Okay.
39:26So.
39:27I'm doing my best.
39:28Do you know what you're doing here?
39:30I feel like being really critical and it's really hard for me to function.
39:33No, it's not.
39:34Okay, shirt off.
39:34Let's go.
39:35You are in charge.
39:36So be in charge.
39:37I'm trying.
39:38Pants or shirt off, please.
39:40This is your project.
39:41I need you to stop being critical of me.
39:43It's really hard to function.
39:44As I should.
39:45It's a competition.
39:46I don't lose.
39:48I know Nia put this all together.
39:51She's dealing with the baby.
39:54She has a lot of plates spinning in the air.
39:58But at the same time, I'm pretty frustrated.
40:01What do you want?
40:02I'm trying to get you ready.
40:03Take your clothes off and get this on.
40:06I feel like I'm not getting the attention that everyone else is getting.
40:11I feel like not enough thought was going into it.
40:15What is this?
40:17It's a sparkling dress.
40:18It's not even form fitting.
40:20And the only reason we flew Lena out to watch the baby is so that I can have fun alone
40:27with my wife.
40:29Do you want full face of makeup?
40:31Why are you asking me?
40:34Because we're partners, Daniel.
40:36There's no partnership in this.
40:38It's win or lose.
40:40You are killing me, dude.
40:42Cover all of your facial hair.
40:45Stop, dude.
40:47What are you doing to me, dude?
40:49I look like a clown.
40:50Daniel and I have not been on the same page.
40:52Like, I want to be, especially when we kind of have a little escape pretty much this whole weekend.
40:57At this point, my feelings are getting hurt and I just don't know what to do.
41:01You don't have to be so hard.
41:03I'm not.
41:08Stop, dude.
41:09What are you doing to me, dude?
41:11I look like a clown.
41:12You should take it off.
41:14Yes.
41:14Okay.
41:15Just know my skin tone.
41:17How's it going?
41:18Stop being so mean to me, honey.
41:20We're here to win.
41:21Tell me I'm doing great and you're proud of me.
41:23Are you ready for the wig?
41:24You have to hold on the front while I do the back.
41:26Are you going to do my hair?
41:28No.
41:29This is the hairstyle.
41:30So get it situated.
41:32Get it done.
41:33Sir, your competitiveness is way too unfair.
41:34Get it done.
41:35I will walk away.
41:36And give it a trim.
41:37Stop raising your voice.
41:38You are Miss USA.
41:39Stop raising your voice.
41:39Make my hair like a pageant girl.
41:42Danny, to me.
41:42To be honest, it's making me feel very uncomfortable the way you're talking to her.
41:45It's making me very triggered.
41:46Can you tell me?
41:47Why are you triggered?
41:47Because of the way you're speaking to her.
41:49It's not kind.
41:50I don't like it.
41:51It's supposed to be fun.
41:52It's supposed to be fun.
41:53That's what we're doing.
41:54It's not what I'm hearing.
41:55It doesn't sound like fun.
41:56Say okay.
41:57It sounds aggressive and disrespectful.
41:59And I don't like it.
42:01Thank you, Lala.
42:02I'm sorry, Nia, if I'm overstepping.
42:04Yay.
42:07I'm having two thoughts as Lala comes into this situation.
42:10One, this ain't none of your business.
42:13Truly, like, bye.
42:14What are you doing here?
42:15But then also, well, someone else sees it.
42:18Because I'm like, am I losing my mind?
42:21Ugh.
42:22I was so uncomfortable hearing him talk to her like that.
42:29I've heard about the dark side of Dani.
42:36This is the first time I'm actually seeing it and hearing it.
42:41And it is extremely uncomfortable.
42:43So pushing here is where your knees push when you're in the room.
42:47And that's why it's a safe place when you're triggered.
42:51You didn't even know that.
42:54Don't let her talk to me like that.
42:56And you don't talk to me how you were talking to me, sir.
42:58I will.
42:59No, you won't.
43:00Yes, I will.
43:01Then I'm going to let her talk to you how she wants to.
43:04Oh, really?
43:05Yes, because she was saying exactly what I was saying
43:06and you weren't listening to me.
43:07So maybe listen to it from somebody else.
43:09He was, like, yelling at her.
43:11Did you hear it?
43:12I heard it and I don't want to get into another...
43:14Well, see, and that's what makes me nervous
43:16is that I didn't, that I think that's why I started crying.
43:19You've never seen it.
43:20No, I haven't ever seen it.
43:21And I was like, are we in character?
43:23Or are we, like, actually being a dick?
43:25But then I was coming around the corner
43:27and he's like, do my frickin' wig
43:28or something about the wig.
43:29And she was like, Daniel, stop.
43:32That's when I knew, like, knock it off.
43:33And then he started to laugh at me as I told him to stop.
43:37Yeah.
43:37Yeah.
43:38I heard the way Danny was speaking to Nia
43:41and it was definitely ordering her around.
43:44He was definitely being aggressive.
43:46He definitely had drank.
43:48Uh, white call.
43:50I'm doing a white call, yeah.
43:54Are we going to the dark side?
43:56Whatever happened over there, it doesn't matter.
43:57We're just here to take care of you in the moment.
44:00All right, I appreciate that.
44:01I need some water.
44:04I'm Miss Triggered now, right now.
44:05You're what?
44:06I'm going to be now Miss Triggered.
44:08Wow.
44:12I've never had a man mock me
44:15when I say I'm triggered.
44:17Can we bring back out Miss Triggered?
44:19He has no idea why the way he was speaking
44:22would trigger me.
44:24So to throw that in my face
44:27is so disrespectful, misogynistic,
44:30and tells me everything I need to know about this person.
44:34Lala!
44:35I'm coming!
44:36Lala's triggered!
44:37She's triggered!
44:38Hey, Daniel, f***ing knock it off, dog.
44:41I'm not f***ing with you right now.
44:43You're not going to come in and be passive-aggressive,
44:45because what happens is you're passive-aggressive.
44:47There's no passive-aggressive.
44:47I'm just aggressive.
44:48Don't do that s*** to me.
44:50Well, you did it to me.
44:50You were being aggressive and disrespectful to your wife,
44:54so I shut it down.
44:55So you're in my marriage?
44:56Knock it off.
44:57I don't need to be in your marriage
44:59to see what's right in front of me.
45:00Exactly.
45:00I got a brain and two f***ing eyes and ears.
45:03Jesus.
45:03You got the wrong bitch.
45:05Don't come talk to me like that.
45:07You're talking to me like-
45:07You're talking to me like-
45:07You're talking to me like-
45:07You're talking to me like-
45:08You're talking to me like-
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