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We deliver full episodes of top drama series across romance, thriller, mystery, crime, and emotional storytelling. From Turkish dramas and Asian series to global hits, our content is carefully selected to match what audiences are searching for right now.
SeriesVerse Global specializes in multi-language subtitles, including English Sub, Español Sub, and Arabic Sub, helping viewers from all over the world enjoy their favorite shows without language barriers.
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TVTranscript
00:02When I hold you, baby, will your heart be close to me?
00:14I want to stay in your arms forever, only love can set you free.
00:48Hey Stuart, hey you're homosexual now, good on ya lad, thank you.
01:02Hey, I've heard you go Stuart, I'm made up for your pet, I hope you get yourself a bit
01:07of bum fun.
01:08Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah, only love can set you free.
01:20Hello?
01:24Hello?
01:26That's weird.
01:34Peace.
01:36Peace.
01:38Peace.
01:41Surprise!
01:43Happy coming out party Stuart.
01:44Happy coming out party Stuart.
01:46Happy coming out party Stuart.
01:48Oh!
01:49Oh!
01:50Sick.
01:52How?
01:53Yay!
01:56Why?
01:57When I grow up, I'mma be a supermodel.
02:07How's she got me eye cheek?
02:09Bit sore to be honest ma'am.
02:11Why didn't you just look out the way of the cock Stuart?
02:13Not really sure.
02:14I've never known someone with such piss poor reflexes.
02:16Hey you remember Janice who drove over her husband in that hit and run?
02:19Oh yeah.
02:20Well I went to her 50th a couple of months ago.
02:22Someone popped a champagne cork right into her rear.
02:25I was stuck in there for a week apparently.
02:27She can't catch a break can she Janice?
02:29Do you remember when she got wedged under that caravan at her engagement party poor cow?
02:34Oh for fuck's sake.
02:35The consecutive went all over the floor.
02:37Thanks very much Stuart.
02:38Now we've got no booze.
02:39Hang on.
02:41I might have something in my office.
02:43The hobby.
02:44Forgot for that.
02:45Oh.
02:45Hiya lads.
02:46Sorry I'm late.
02:47Hiya.
02:47Hiya Sal.
02:48Where have you been chick?
02:49I had to pick up Andrea.
02:50Who the fuck's Andrea?
02:52Oh.
02:53Oh hello little rabbit.
02:55Nice to meet you.
02:55You know Mel who played guitar for me at Pride?
02:58Yeah.
02:58Lovely Mel.
02:59She's popped in my yorker for a week so I said I'd look after a rabbit.
03:01Oh.
03:02Right.
03:03Who wants a drink?
03:05Oh yeah.
03:06What is it Keith?
03:07Home brew.
03:08I've fermented it meself.
03:10Oh how long for?
03:11Thirty seven years.
03:13There you go.
03:14Right.
03:14And there.
03:15Would your little rabbit friend like a drink?
03:18Nah she's too total Keith.
03:20Ah.
03:20There you go son.
03:21For my brave little gay warrior.
03:24We're all so proud of you.
03:26I mean physically you might be very very small and terribly weak.
03:30But mentally you are the biggest strongest person I know.
03:34Can't be coming out Barty Stuart.
03:36Right well.
03:37I would just like to raise a glass and say congratulations on becoming a homosexual Stuart.
03:43You know it takes a brave man to admit he likes to put another man's testicle in his mouth.
03:49Well I don't necessarily.
03:52To Stuart.
03:52Stuart.
03:57Stuart.
03:58Down it.
04:00Down it.
04:01Down it.
04:02Down it.
04:03Down it.
04:04Down it.
04:04Down it.
04:06Down it.
04:06Down it.
04:06Down it.
04:07Woo!
04:09Tristan is that the time?
04:11Well I better get the shop open.
04:12Down it.
04:13Oh my god.
04:14That is fucking dire.
04:16No I can't.
04:17That is bloody lovely.
04:23Good morning carpet lovers.
04:25You've come at exactly the right time because we've got some cracking deals on our carpets
04:30today.
04:31So please.
04:32Come through.
04:33There you go lads.
04:34Alright.
04:35Hello.
04:37Hey come on.
04:38Now listen.
04:38Them carpets won't bite you you know.
04:40Ha ha.
04:42Oh mate.
04:43You are?
04:43Yeah.
04:44Do you want a carpets?
04:45We've got a shirt on.
04:46You what?
04:47The carpets are shaky.
04:49Come over here and say that you dickhead.
04:54What sort of things does Andrea eat hun?
04:56Can she have a jammy dodger?
04:57Nah I think it's just lettuce and that.
04:59Oh poor Andrea.
05:01I'd shoot myself in the face if I couldn't eat jammy dodgers.
05:03Where is Andrea chick?
05:05What do you mean?
05:06I mean where is Andrea?
05:08I'm not really sure how else to say it to be honest.
05:11Well she's here.
05:14No.
05:16That's strange.
05:18Andrea?
05:20What are you going to do lads?
05:22I can't lose Andrea.
05:23Mel's going to kill me.
05:24Andrea!
05:27Well don't worry chicks you can have gone far.
05:29Especially with those big stupid ears.
05:31You see this is the reason I don't keep livestock.
05:34Andrea.
05:36Andrea.
05:36Andrea.
05:38Andrea.
05:38Andrea.
05:39Andrea.
05:39Yeah.
05:42Oh sorry not you.
05:46Okay.
05:47Plan.
05:48We're going to split off the separate search parties.
05:51Lucinda, Neil and Sal.
05:53You're going to form one team.
05:55Stuart and Dickie.
05:56You're going to come with me.
05:57Right.
05:58Let's find Andrea.
05:59Yay!
06:02You know it's funny isn't it?
06:04What's funny hon?
06:05We're all about to go on a search party for Andrea the Rabbit.
06:08But we're also on a constant search party.
06:12Life?
06:14The fuck are you on about Neil?
06:21Okay.
06:21Let's go find Andrea.
06:22Yay!
06:30Greetings carpet lovers.
06:31I'm Keith from Keith's World of Carpets.
06:33And I'm crackers about carpets mate.
06:35Let me guess.
06:36Your beautiful but overpowering wives have sent you here to buy some thick sturdy carpet.
06:43Am I right?
06:44Or am I right?
06:44We don't have wives.
06:46We're actually a couple.
06:47Oh I see.
06:49Oh Christ.
06:50Me gaydar must be malfunctioning.
06:51Still no worries.
06:52Because here at Keith's World of Carpets you can be as homosexual as you want to be.
06:57Yeah.
06:57In fact we're hosting a coming out party today for a tiny little gay fella that works here.
07:02Now what is it you two penis enthusiasts are looking for?
07:06Carpets.
07:06Keith.
07:07Well you've come to the right place.
07:09Follow me and I will show you my carpet wonderland.
07:15I've just remembered.
07:16I've got to say a lot today.
07:18Right.
07:19Let's get stuck in.
07:21Howay lads.
07:23Andrea.
07:24Andrea.
07:25Andrea.
07:27Andrea.
07:28Does anyone else feel a bit light headed from Keith's drink?
07:32I wouldn't know chick.
07:33Couldn't keep it down.
07:34God awful stuff.
07:36Andrea.
07:37Andrea.
07:38Andrea.
07:39Andrea.
07:40Andrea.
07:40Howay Andrea you silly knobhead.
07:42Why the hell anyone would want to own a frigging rabbit is beyond me.
07:46Huh.
07:46Ugly, gormless, big-eared twats.
07:48Oh.
07:49That reminds me.
07:50I need to pay Dickie back for those Metallica tickets.
07:52You what?
07:53Oh.
07:53Oh.
07:54I forgot you were with us.
07:55No, no.
07:56I was just saying that I need to transfer over the money for that Metallica concert we went to.
08:00Hang on though.
08:01What did you mean by that reminds me?
08:04Huh?
08:04You were talking about Andrea the rabbit and how gormlessly ugly she was.
08:08What is it about ugly gormless Andrea that reminded you of me?
08:12Oh.
08:12It's nothing.
08:13Just ignore me and we'll do as she'll go.
08:16No, come on.
08:17Well, I just think you have certain qualities about you that sometimes resemble a rabbit.
08:22Jogging on you?
08:23It's only little things.
08:24Like what?
08:25Well, your teeth, your nose and your eyes.
08:26That's basically my whole face.
08:28I can't actually believe I'm hearing this.
08:30I mean I've been called names before but never a friggin' rabbit.
08:33Stuart.
08:34Do you think I look like a rabbit?
08:37Hmm?
08:38Do you think I look like a rabbit?
08:47Um.
08:50You know guys, I really do feel a sense of responsibility now.
08:55And I know it sounds weird but I almost feel like the hand of destiny is guiding me down
09:03a new path to help other people in the queer community.
09:07Get over yourself Stuart you annoying little rat.
09:10What?
09:10Oh no!
09:15You're kidding me!
09:17What's the matter?
09:20Come on.
09:22Come on.
09:23Come on baby, yeah.
09:24Well it is so, so good.
09:26Oh yeah.
09:27Oh.
09:29I love you man.
09:32You can't speak.
09:33Oh yeah.
09:35That's what I'm talking about.
09:35That's what I'm talking about.
09:36Er, er, what's going on?
09:39Oh.
09:40Sorry to intrude Keith.
09:41I needed to find a place to hide.
09:43Oh, alright.
09:44Well then, you'll be my guest.
09:46Who is it ma'am?
09:48Paula.
09:49Paula Radcliffe?
09:50Hey, if that Radcliffe bitch is here again,
09:52scrounged in free carpet samples, I will swear to God I'll-
09:55No.
09:55Not Paula Radcliffe.
09:57Paula, my ex-wife.
09:59What?
10:00Your ex-wife is here but I thought you said she'd move to Burris in Edmonds.
10:03She did.
10:04I've got no idea why she's back.
10:06But if she's here,
10:08maybe that means he's here.
10:11Who?
10:12Ed.
10:13Ed Miliband?
10:14Ed Miliband?
10:14That Miliband twat is here again.
10:17Not Ed Miliband.
10:18My son.
10:19Ed.
10:20Ah, yeah.
10:21Makes more sense.
10:22I can't believe this is happening.
10:23I think I'm gonna friggin' hyperventilate.
10:26Right.
10:26I've got a plan.
10:28Me and Stuart will go over and try and eavesdrop on the conversation.
10:30If she says anything about Ed or why she's back in Borough, we'll let you know.
10:35I'm with Stuart.
10:37Send away!
10:41I need to get out of here, Keith.
10:44Can you take me through the back door?
10:47I can get you out of here, Matt.
10:50But it ain't gonna be easy.
10:54Then you sprinkle about 125 grams of mozzarella on top and then pop it in the oven for about
10:5845 minutes until it's a deep golden colour on top and crispy around the edges.
11:02And that is the best way to cook a beef lasagna from scratch.
11:04I don't remember anyone asking you how to cook a beef lasagna from scratch, Neil.
11:08How has Andrea just disappeared in the thin air?
11:11Don't stress, hon.
11:12We'll find her.
11:12She can't have gone far.
11:13I mean, just how big is this place anyway?
11:15The size of two football pitches.
11:17How the hell do you know that?
11:19I've got freakishly good spatial awareness.
11:21And to be honest, me depth perception's second to none.
11:23I mean, I never need to measure a room when I buy new furniture.
11:26Oh, Neil's the opposite.
11:27You can't get enough of measuring.
11:28He owns 28 tape measures, don't you, Neil?
11:32Neil?
11:33Neil!
11:35Where the bloody hell did Neil go?
11:41Andrea!
11:43Andrea!
11:46This is like a bloody rabbit hole.
11:50Andrea!
11:55That's it, Keith.
11:56I made it out of the air vent.
11:58What now?
11:59Right.
12:00Now shimmy towards that roll of mousy grey carpet and squat down behind it.
12:03But a warning.
12:04Paula is very close.
12:06So how is that one different to that one?
12:08You'll see my null cover.
12:10Open it.
12:12Climb it.
12:13Bloody hell!
12:19I never noticed the softness of Keith's carpet.
12:23Shut up, Stuart.
12:23I can't hear what you're saying.
12:24Sorry, Dickie.
12:25I mean, I can't believe how soft they are.
12:28We need to get closer.
12:30I remember getting the carpet here years ago.
12:32Must have been 1993.
12:35The place hasn't changed a bit, has it?
12:37I wouldn't know.
12:38I'm 22.
12:39Hey, sorry.
12:40Listen to me going on at you.
12:41You don't want my life story, do you?
12:44It's just weird to be back in Borough after all these years.
12:49Yeah, I've actually moved back up here.
12:51So, hoping to start afresh, you see.
12:56Sorry, did you want a carpet or not?
12:57Right.
12:58Yes.
12:58Sorry.
12:59The carpet, of course.
13:00There was one I saw just over this way.
13:05Did you hear that, Stuart?
13:06She's moved back to Borough from Borough St Edmunds.
13:09Stuart?
13:10Stuart?
13:12What the fuck are you doing, Stuart?
13:18And then I went to Aldi and I couldn't reach the shreddies on the top shelf.
13:22So I asked a big tall lad to help me.
13:24But instead of handing me the shreddies, he picks me up,
13:26puts me on the top shelf,
13:28and then just walks off.
13:30I was up there for three hours.
13:32It was in that moment I said to myself
13:33I am never wearing black shoes ever again.
13:38Sal.
13:40Sorry, babe.
13:41I wasn't listening to a word you said there.
13:43Cheers, hon.
13:44I'm just really freaking out about Andrea the Rabbit.
13:46Hey, Sal.
13:48I've never seen you so hysterical.
13:49Mel's never going to speak to me again.
13:51And well,
13:53I really like her.
13:54Look, I wouldn't worry, hon.
13:56And I'm sure we'll fi-
13:57Hang on a minute.
13:59Are you saying that you really like her like,
14:01Hiya Mel?
14:02Or you really like her like,
14:05Hiya Mel?
14:06It's more like,
14:08Hiya Mel.
14:11Yeah.
14:12What about Danny?
14:14I don't know, babe.
14:15You know we're here for you whatever you decide.
14:18Come on.
14:20Let's go and see if the others have had any luck.
14:22Look.
14:23I bet Neil's all over it.
14:30Hold.
14:32Hold.
14:34Hold.
14:35All clear.
14:37That was a close one, Keith.
14:38Over.
14:39You're doing brilliantly, ma'am.
14:43Hello?
14:44Hello?
14:46Hello?
14:46You'd never know me artificial grass is fake.
14:50Go on.
14:51Touch it.
14:55Feels good, doesn't it?
14:57Feels so real.
14:59Right.
15:00Go take your shoes and socks off.
15:02And step on it.
15:05Go on, Neil.
15:06Go on, Neil.
15:07Step on it.
15:30I'm free!
15:33The silver straw!
15:37The silver straw!
15:39Whoa!
15:42Whoa!
15:45Whoa!
15:49Are you in position, ma'am?
15:51I am Keane.
15:53Marvelous.
15:54Now listen carefully, ma'am.
15:55In five minutes, a fella called Dave is due back from his break.
15:59Then he's going to push the trolley through your shop out the back and into the warehouse.
16:03Now when you feel him pushing you, keep your head down.
16:06Unless you want Paula to see you.
16:07Then when you're in the warehouse, you can get out and dash out the back door.
16:11Understand?
16:12Loud and quick, Heath.
16:14Good girl.
16:16God, this is just like Vietnam.
16:27She's just looking at carpets now.
16:29You know Dickie, I feel really lucky.
16:33What are you whining on about now, Stuart?
16:35I was just thinking, even though my grandma doesn't approve of who I am,
16:39I'm so lucky to have friends who have showered me with love and acceptance.
16:44Not a lot of people have that, but I do.
16:48And so, well, I feel like one lucky guy.
16:54I'm going to do my fucking nutting today, you.
16:59Oh, get off.
17:00Oh, for fuck's sake.
17:03Frickin' tweedle-dum and tweedle-tie.
17:05Oh, hiya, Harrison.
17:06Hiya, Bobby.
17:08Hiya, mate.
17:09Here, listen, we heard what you've been through with your grandma and that.
17:13Yeah, sorry, Stuart.
17:14But from what everyone said, you've been really brave about the whole situation.
17:17Oh, thanks, guys.
17:19Hasn't been the best of times, I won't lie,
17:21but I'm really feeling the love today.
17:25You know, not a lot of people know this,
17:27but I had a hard time coming out to my family as well.
17:31Didn't your parents take you on a trip to London
17:32and see Mamma Mia the musical when you came out?
17:34Yes, Harrison, but I wanted to see Miss Saigon.
17:37Stuart's not the only one who's had it hard.
17:39Well, I'll buy you a drink next time I see you out and about
17:41to say congratulations on your bravery, mate.
17:43Oh, thank you, Harrison.
17:47Boop.
17:50What are you two doing here, anyway?
17:52What do you think we're doing in a carpet shop?
17:53Balling.
17:56We've actually moved in together,
17:57so we're buying some flooring for the new house.
18:00So you've what?
18:01You've what?
18:01Are you deaf, babe?
18:02We've moved in together?
18:04Really excited about it, aren't we, darling?
18:06We are, yeah.
18:07Yeah.
18:09Congratulations.
18:11Right.
18:11How are, babe?
18:12I'm bored of this.
18:13Let's fuck off to the now.
18:20Are you OK, Dickie?
18:21Of course I'm OK, Stuart.
18:22Why wouldn't I be?
18:24I just didn't know there was still a couple,
18:26let alone living together.
18:28You know, Dickie,
18:30Neil had a point when he was talking all that gibberish earlier.
18:33We all go through life searching for different things, don't we?
18:36And I think you're a place in your life where you're simply searching for someone to love.
18:46Stop touching me, Stuart, you greasy pervert.
18:53I look quite pretty.
18:59Andrea?
19:02Andrea?
19:03Andrea?
19:04Andrea?
19:10Hey.
19:13Hey.
19:14Ah!
19:15Neil.
19:16It's you.
19:16I'm glad you're enjoying my artificial brass.
19:20But there's someone who needs you.
19:23Who?
19:24Andrea the rabbit.
19:26And only you can save her.
19:29Only I can save her.
19:31Go, Neil.
19:32Go.
19:33And save the rabbit.
19:35Come through my legs.
19:36Go, Neil.
19:38Andrea needs you.
19:39I'm going to save the rabbit.
19:40What the fuck the hell are you waiting for?
19:43Go now.
19:44Yes.
19:45Andrea?
19:50Yeah, and then there was Karen.
19:52She was my third wife.
19:54Oh, was she my fourth?
19:55Anyway, she was a right bellender.
19:57Took me to the cleaners.
19:59So that's all right.
20:00I'm going to start a new life.
20:02So I went to Fiji.
20:03But don't ask me about Fiji.
20:05Oh, and since you asked me about Fiji, let me tell you about Fiji.
20:08Fiji.
20:10Here.
20:11Where's ma'am?
20:12Here.
20:14She's on the street.
20:16Oh my god, there she is.
20:17But if you want to talk to her, she'll be there.
20:21Ma'am?
20:22Are you here, me?
20:23Yeah, I'm going to read.
20:23Are you ready?
20:24Listen, what did you ever tell you this, bud?
20:26She's moved back to the area.
20:28Oh, evil cow!
20:30Who the hell are you calling an evil cow?
20:32Sorry.
20:34Not you.
20:37And you look finding Andrea.
20:39Who the fuck's Andrea?
20:40The rabbit we're all meant to be looking for.
20:41Oh, yeah.
20:42Oh, look, I'm afraid.
20:44How much is it this?
20:49Hang on.
20:50You got CCTV, Keith?
20:51Why?
20:52This shop is completely covered.
20:54No thieving bastard is going to take my carpet and get away with it!
21:00Maybe you'll be able to see Andrea on the cameras.
21:02Good idea.
21:05Look, it's Neil!
21:07What the hell is he doing?
21:12Andrea!
21:13Andrea!
21:14Andrea!
21:19Where are you going, Andrea?
21:22For God's sake!
21:24Oh, yeah.
21:32Andrew!
21:32When are you going, Andrea?
21:37Oh, yeah.
21:40No, no.
21:43No, no.
21:45Yeah, it's not.
21:46No, no.
21:46No, no, no.
21:46No, no.
21:48Curious, I'm curious, yeah.
21:53How the hell?
21:54I don't.
22:00Andrea!
22:01Careful, Andrea. If you hop off that edge, you'll hop to your death!
22:05Andrea!
22:06Yeah?
22:08Oh, sorry. Not you.
22:12What's Stuart doing up there?
22:14Can't lie. He does not look good on camera.
22:17It's Andrea!
22:19She looks like she's about to bunny-dive off that shelving unit!
22:22No!
22:26Godspeed, you beautiful little weirdos.
22:33Oh shit, she's there.
22:43Stuart!
22:44Why are you trying to push Andrea off the shelving unit, Stuart?
22:47I'm trying to save her, but she's not listening to me!
22:50You've got to grab her!
22:51I'm too scared. If I get too close to her, she'll hop off!
22:55We did it, ma'am. You're in the warehouse and you're home free.
23:06Mission accomplished, Keith. Cheers, chick.
23:13Choking, aren't you?
23:22What's the fiddly point?
23:30Stuart!
23:33Stuart!
23:34Grab her!
23:35Oh, I think I've got an idea!
23:38What's going on here?
23:39Long story short, Andrea's about to jump, and Stuart's making it worse.
23:43Grab this!
23:44We need to position it underneath Andrea in case she falls.
23:47Oh, Dusty!
23:48Get over there!
23:48Get over there!
23:49What are you doing?
23:51Come in!
23:52Come in!
23:53Come in!
23:53No!
23:54No!
23:56Carpet burn now!
23:57Forget it!
23:58It's not going to work!
24:03Oh my god!
24:04It's Neil!
24:05He's on a scissor lift!
24:07Andrea!
24:08What's he doing on a scissor lift?
24:10I'm coming to serve you!
24:13Yes, Neil!
24:14Yes, Neil!
24:15You can do it, Neil!
24:16Go, Neil!
24:16Go!
24:17You can do it!
24:18Keep going, Neil!
24:19Oh, he's like a soaring eagle!
24:21Go, King Kestrel!
24:28Go on, Neil!
24:29Come on, Neil!
24:30Come on, chick!
24:31You can do it!
24:32Go on, Neil!
24:37He's behind!
24:38Go on, Neil!
24:43Go on, Neil!
24:44Go on, Neil!
24:45Go on, Neil!
24:46Go on, Neil!
24:47Go on, Neil!
24:48Go on, Neil!
24:49Go on, Neil!
24:49Oh, bloody hell, Neil!
24:50Stuart!
24:51This is it!
24:52Andrea's life is in your hands now!
24:55It's all down to you!
24:59It's all down to me!
25:03Andrea!
25:05Please don't jump!
25:07You've got so much to live for!
25:10Hey!
25:11Look at me!
25:13I know you're scared!
25:15But it's okay!
25:17Where are your family now?
25:21I know what you're going through
25:23and it's okay that you're gay!
25:25I'm gay too!
25:28It's time for you to live your truth, Andrea!
25:31I mean,
25:32when you think about it,
25:33aren't we all just...
25:36little gear rabbits?
25:46I've got her!
25:48Yay!
25:49Yay!
25:51Woo!
25:52Rabbit!
25:53Rabbit!
25:53Rabbit!
25:54Hey!
25:55Who's choked up all over me floor!
25:59Sorry!
26:01You...
26:02SWAT!
26:04Sorry!
26:08Wow!
26:09Dickie does look a bit like a rabbit!
26:11Stop fucking touching me, Stuart!
26:23May I present to you, the one, the only, Stuart Park!
26:30Aww!
26:31You're looking fucking lush there, Stuart!
26:33Nice ass!
26:34He's all suited and booted for his first ever date!
26:37How are you feeling about it, Stuart?
26:40I'm really nervous!
26:42Aww!
26:42Just be yourself, honey!
26:43You can't go wrong!
26:44Got any pictures of the lads, Stuart?
26:46No!
26:46My workmate set me up, so it's kind of like a blind date!
26:51But what if he's dog ugly?
26:52Oh yeah, good point!
26:54Oh!
26:54I don't think I'd really mind, you know!
26:57I'm more of a personality guy!
27:00Well, er...
27:01You'll all be pleased to know that...
27:03I've also got a date tonight!
27:05Oh!
27:07How exciting chick!
27:09Who is the lucky bastard?
27:10Well, I haven't met him yet either!
27:11Oh!
27:12Yeah, I've joined this date now!
27:13It's for older rich men who are looking to meet young, smooth twinks like me!
27:18And...
27:19There's a wealthy daddy who likes to look at my photos and wants to treat me for dinner!
27:23Ooh, exciting!
27:24That's nice, rich little OAP for you!
27:26Have you got any pictures?
27:28I do actually, Lucinda, thank you for asking!
27:30There we go!
27:33What's that?
27:34It's a foreshore copy of his bank statement!
27:37Yeah, the older rich men receive photos of the twinks, and us twinks receive photographic evidence of their wealth!
27:44Oh, that's fascinating!
27:45Jesus fucking wept!
27:46What's that smell?
27:47Oh yeah!
27:48Ooh!
27:49It might be my new fragrance!
27:52I got it from Argos!
27:54You got a fragrance from Argos?
27:55What's it remind me of? I can't put my finger on it!
27:57It's...
27:58It's like...
27:59You know...
28:00It's like...
28:01Erm...
28:02Oh...
28:04Oh, that's it!
28:05Cabbage sauteed and dog shit!
28:07That's it!
28:08Yeah, exactly!
28:09Here!
28:10Let's spray a bit of this to mask it!
28:14Is that a air freshener?
28:15It is, chick!
28:17Oh, smells like a fresh summer breeze!
28:20I actually think I'm going to cancel tonight!
28:22Oh, you can't do that!
28:23What if you still love your life?
28:24I just...
28:25I don't think I'm quite ready to date!
28:27Tell you what, I'll come to the restaurant as a secret chaperone!
28:31That way, I'm there if you need me, but I'm distant enough for you to still enjoy your date!
28:36I guess that could work!
28:38Yay!
28:39And we'll come along with secret chaperones as well!
28:42Erm...
28:42Well...
28:43You don't all have to...
28:44Oh, don't be silly!
28:45We wouldn't miss it!
28:46Yay!
28:46Yay!
28:48Yay!
28:50Ow!
28:50My eyes!
28:51Ow!
28:52Sorry, chick!
28:56When I grow up, I'mma be a supermodel!
28:59When I grow up, I'mma be a supermodel!
29:15Jobber no welcome friend!
29:16You must be a steward!
29:19Yeah?
29:20How did you know?
29:20We've been expecting you for your first bigger date!
29:24Follow me!
29:29Sexy little gay boy!
29:31And this is your date for the evening!
29:39Hiya!
29:40I'm Stuart!
29:42I'm Bradley!
29:44I can already feel the love!
29:47I'm blossoming!
29:49Hey, uh, Linda!
29:50Someone's blocked the women's loo!
29:52You are fucking kidding me!
29:54That's the second fucking time this week!
29:56What the bloody hell are these women eating?!
30:06I've never done the whole dating thing before!
30:09Sorry if I seem a bit nervous!
30:12Don't worry!
30:13I get nervous all the time!
30:15Can I get you to drink, lads?
30:22Want wine?
30:25Wine?
30:26Yeah, white!
30:27White!
30:29White!
30:29Yeah, white!
30:30White's fine!
30:33Right!
30:34Where's our stew then?
30:35Oh, shh!
30:37Oh, shh!
30:39Remember!
30:40We've got to pretend we don't know him!
30:47There he is!
30:48That watch is fine.
30:49Yeah.
30:51No, it's fine.
31:00Good morning!
31:01Sit down!
31:03Good morning!
31:03Good morning!
31:04Yes, and that is!
31:13Hey, ya!
31:14Mum!
31:14I need you to give these coleslaw up to all the tables.
31:17Tell them they're complimentary.
31:18I accidentally ordered too much,
31:19and now I can't get rid of the bastard stuff!
31:20Of course, chick. I really appreciate you letting me do this, Linda.
31:24Ah?
31:25It's his first ever date.
31:26Ah?
31:26Bit nervous, pull along.
31:27Oh, absolutely no. Fuckin' problem, old mum.
31:29Tell you the truth, you're doing me a favour.
31:31I've had three people calling sick. Fuckin' skivers.
31:33And we're fully booked tonight.
31:34I'm glad I couldn't help.
31:36Oh, actually, why hasn't I got you?
31:38Women's bog needs some blotting, if you wouldn't mind sorting it out.
31:41Of course, chick.
31:43Oh, bienvenuti, welcome. Friends, come in, come in.
31:45You have a table book?
31:46No, we were hoping we could just squeeze in.
31:48I've got foot on tonight, Lord. Trategia Fridays.
31:52Shut up.
31:53Oh, one's a free, a colo floor.
31:59Oh.
32:00It's a big ol' menu, isn't it?
32:02They say it's Italian, but you can get anything you want.
32:05Last time I was here, I had a chicken chow mein and arabiata sauce.
32:09Oh?
32:09Do you fancy sharing a spaghetti bolognese starter?
32:13Well, when in Rome.
32:18You smell amazing.
32:21It's like, I don't know, a fresh summer breeze.
32:25Oh.
32:26Thanks very much.
32:35We can't let on that we know Stuart, because we don't want to embarrass him.
32:38So, let's be as incognito as possible when we're spying.
32:43Got it.
32:44Understood.
32:50Does it look like it's gone well?
32:51I can't really hear from this far away.
32:53Shall we shuffle closer?
32:54I think we're going to have to.
33:03Soz, I'm late.
33:04I went to the park and got stuck in a swing.
33:06What the fuck are you doing?
33:08We're just trying to eavesdrop on Stuart and his date.
33:11Fucking hell.
33:14Would anyone like to try the wine?
33:15Oh, yeah.
33:16Go on then.
33:17I like wine too.
33:30Aye, that's not bad, that.
33:39Aye, we'll have four parmos, yeah?
33:43Good choice.
33:51No paps, no paps.
33:53I'm just trying to live my life.
33:56Bastards.
33:57Hiya, Dicky, Chick.
33:58Hiya, ma'am.
34:00Sorry, Dicky.
34:01Did you want us to follow you in as well?
34:02No, piss off, Gary.
34:04I told you, you're not meant to speak to me.
34:07What's this all about, Chick?
34:08Is he here?
34:09Who?
34:10I'm a Stuart affluent date.
34:11Oh, no, he hasn't arrived yet.
34:13Oh, for God's sake.
34:14He's wanting him to see that I'm also rich as fuck, so he wouldn't have to worry about making me
34:18sign a prenup.
34:19I have to say, you look like a proper rich bitch.
34:22Oh wait, I'll show you to your table.
34:25Dicky's here.
34:25Try us on.
34:26Hello, Dicky.
34:27You're all right, bud.
34:27I'm sorry, I'm about to change.
34:33Hey, Dicky, I've been thinking, how do you know which rich old codger you're meeting if you'd never seen him
34:39before?
34:39Well, he's told me to look out for a silver fox wearing a yellow handkerchief in his jacket pocket.
34:44Oh, exciting, Dicky!
34:47You know, back in my day, wearing a yellow handkerchief used to signify that you were into piss play.
34:55It was a simpler time.
34:58Hey, Mum, what are you doing? Table 7 needs our starters.
35:01I'm on me break, Linda.
35:02You've only just started your shift.
35:25So what's Jost, I know you?
35:28It's Sagittarius.
35:31They're joking, aren't you?
35:32No, why?
35:33I'm totally incompatible with Sagittarius.
35:39Oh, sorry about that.
35:41I wouldn't normally even associate with a Sagittarius if I'm being totally honest.
35:45Right.
35:46I'm not really sure what to say to that.
35:49I'm a Taurus, you see, so I'm like, proper grounded and down to earth and you're like, the complete opposite.
35:55I don't know. I'd say I'm quite grounded.
35:59Sagittarius would say that.
36:03Right.
36:04I'll just pop into the loo.
36:05It could be a while because I like to do a sit-down wee, which means that sometimes a number
36:08two slips out.
36:13How's it going on?
36:15I'm not sure he's into me.
36:16How can he not be?
36:17You're probably just nervous and not being yourself.
36:20The key is to just be completely authentic.
36:24On whatever you do, don't tell him you're a Sagittarius.
36:32There you go.
36:33That'll do on the coleslaw, Mum.
36:35Mmm.
36:37Ooh, what's that?
36:38Ooh.
36:41More coleslaw.
36:42Boop.
36:53Hey, chick.
36:54Oh, hello, dear.
36:56Have you booked a table?
36:57Yes, I believe I'm meeting a young, handsome chap.
37:00Oh, you must be Dickie's date.
37:03You are in for a treat.
37:05Follow me.
37:07Dessert's next.
37:12Dickey, I believe your date has arrived.
37:14No.
37:16No, this can't be right.
37:18What?
37:19What's the matter?
37:20I'm meeting this person.
37:24Yeah, that's me.
37:26No, this can't be you.
37:27The chap in the photo has got a soft, youthful complexion.
37:33Like that one there.
37:35And he's got a firm, athletic body with an arse that won't quit.
37:40Hello?
37:43No offence, but your arse looks like it's quite a long time ago.
37:46How can I not take offence of that, you cheeky old twat?
37:48Where did you buy your arse from? Pancakes or us?
37:51It's not even a real shop.
37:52You know, you really shouldn't lie on your dating profile.
37:56Goodbye.
38:00You couldn't let us attend for a taxi, could you?
38:03Piss off.
38:08Mind your business, Lucinda, you nosy bitch.
38:13Here's some more coleslaw.
38:15Oh, I bloody love the bar more, mate.
38:17Love the bar more.
38:20Oh, sorry, Danny, that's actually my bowl of ketchup.
38:25You've got your own one.
38:26Oh, sorry, mate.
38:27I'm good.
38:43Hey, isn't that your pal Mel, Sam?
38:46Er, I can't really tell from over here.
38:49I'm sure it is. I'll just check.
38:50Mel!
38:52MEL!
38:52I'm sure she's probably busy.
38:53MEL!
38:55Hey, guys. How do?
38:57Hey, how you on? You look nice. What's the occasion?
39:01I'm actually just here on a date.
39:03Yeah, there's a lot of dates going on tonight.
39:04We're having a double date, Dickie's having a date,
39:07and Stuart's having his first date, but we're pretending we don't know him.
39:09Gotcha.
39:10Gabe?
39:12Oh. Hi.
39:14Guys, this is Arabella.
39:16Hi, Arabella.
39:16She's off from London. She's filming some TikTok videos.
39:19Oh, that's exciting.
39:20Yeah. I don't know if any of you guys follow me,
39:23but basically I go to really shit towns and just rip the absolute piss out of them.
39:28But people fucking love it.
39:30Anyway, Mel, Babe, absolutely defo. They don't have any fucking tables.
39:34Why don't you join us?
39:36Say what?
39:36Where the frig are they going to sit?
39:38We can all squeeze in.
39:40Don't worry about us. We'll just try CGI's.
39:42Babe, I told you. I can never go to that place again after last time.
39:46When I ordered plant-based chicken and they brought out a chicken drumstick on top of a pot plant.
39:51So, thank you for your kind offer. New friends, we gracious accept.
39:56Can we get some fucking chairs, please?
40:03I don't understand. I always get told my bum looks like it's been under a steamroller.
40:08I mean, I just assumed that was a compliment.
40:10Hey, there's absolutely nothing wrong with your ridiculously flat jacksy.
40:15Some people love an arse so flat it's nearly inverted.
40:18I can't even get a date of your gadget like that to go on a date with me.
40:21What have I got in finding anyone else?
40:28Mmm, those were the days.
40:31Crump! Table six have been waiting on their katsu curry for half an hour.
40:34I won't tell you again.
40:53I'm about ready to go.
40:55I'll meet you down the alley across the road in five minutes.
41:19I'll meet you down the alley across the road.
41:34Excuse me, begs. Is this the only exit?
41:37It is. Well, apart from the fire exit in the kitchen.
41:42Oi! Are you the new sous chef? You late dickhead.
42:08Are you the new sous chef? Yeah. Sorry I'm there, chef. Where do you want me?
42:16How do Stu? Fucking hell. How's it gone?
42:19He's been gone for ages, Sal. I think he might have done a runner.
42:23Surely not, babe.
42:26Unless you told him that you're a Sagittarius.
42:33Oh. I didn't realise you'd still be here.
42:42Hey, Mum. There's a dead rat stuck in one of the traps.
42:45Be your lover chuck it in the wheelie bin, will you?
42:47I'm a bit busy at the minute, Linda. Can you not do it?
42:49I'm on violin duty.
43:06Oh.
43:08Hey.
43:11Hey, hey.
43:15Hey.
43:16Hey.
43:16Hey.
43:17Hey, hey.
43:19Hey, hey.
43:19Hey, hey.
43:22Let's go, ma'am.
43:22No!
43:26Oh!
43:27Shit, now.
43:29There's some cauliflowers.
43:33I think I burnt these cauliflowers.
43:36You're a fucking moron.
43:38It's all about my boobs.
43:42Oh.
43:43I don't know.
43:44Where's that gone, then?
43:46I think my blister must have fallen off into one of those starters.
44:04Fuck me!
44:05Linda's pissing me right off.
44:07Tell me about that.
44:08You know, just because Helen and Darren and Sophie called in sick class of the way I last night
44:12and got hammered doesn't mean she should talk to us like shit.
44:15Ma'am!
44:16Ow!
44:25Don't you guys just miss London when you're up here?
44:27I mean, I know it's pure fucking chaos, but my God.
44:30There's just an energy down there that you just don't get anywhere else.
44:33Do you know what I mean?
44:34I've actually never been to London.
44:38Are you being serious?
44:40What the actual fuck?
44:42I don't think I've ever met anybody who hasn't been to London.
44:46Wow!
44:47God, it's mind blown.
44:49I mean, good for you.
44:51You go girl.
44:52Like, gosh.
44:53I mean, you've never been up the Shard?
44:56I've been up Rosberry Tobin.
45:02I've been up Rosberry Tobin.
45:03Listen, Danny, you really can't just go around stealing other people's ketchup.
45:07Some people rely on ketchup to be able to eat their food.
45:10You gonna let your dickhead friends talk to me like that, so?
45:13Er, who are you calling dickhead?
45:14Who do you think?
45:15Danny babe.
45:16Please don't talk to people like that.
45:18I'll talk to people how the fuck I want.
45:20Whose side are you on?
45:22Wow.
45:22I mean, I knew it was rough up here, but I never expected to witness such a horrific aggression first
45:27happened.
45:28Are we bell a bit?
45:29Yeah?
45:29Sometimes it's just best to keep your mouth shut.
45:31Why?
45:32Well, they attack me.
45:36Like and subscribe.
45:38If I survive.
45:50So, Chef, how long you been working here for then?
45:53We haven't got time for small talk mate.
45:56Peel them potatoes.
45:57Please don't go amiss.
45:58Can you just show me the fuck up?
46:00Please.
46:00What?
46:01The table's waiting.
46:02Look at our garden, Ramsay.
46:03Calm yourself down.
46:04They can wait a bit longer can't they?
46:05Don't speak to me like that in my kitchen.
46:06What is it your kitchen?
46:07You don't own it.
46:08I'm sorry.
46:09I don't peel potatoes.
46:11Because the repetitive peeling process and things must rise here.
46:13Listen here, you little flat ass weasel.
46:15If you've got to keep this fucking job, you do as I say.
46:18Don't make myself clear.
46:19Take a chill pill, Quella de Vale.
46:21Never worked with such an obnoxious shithead.
46:23Cry about it.
46:24You cry about it.
46:26You cry about it.
46:26No, you cry about it.
46:28You cry about it.
46:28You cry about it.
46:29You cry about it.
46:30You cry about it.
46:31You cry about it.
46:33Nobody's ever spoken to me like this.
46:35Cry about it.
46:38You cry about it.
46:44You cry about it.
46:50You cry about it.
46:54You cry about it.
46:54So, here's a funny one.
46:55Can I make this?
46:56Yeah.
46:59Hiya.
47:00Did you get my text?
47:02Yeah.
47:02Fucking such tedious.
47:04Can you believe my luck?
47:05No.
47:06Fucking joke, babe.
47:11Yeah.
47:12I think he's wearing ear freshener.
47:15Why are we still waiting on table 11's dessert?
47:17Oh, for God's sake, nor attention!
47:20Er, what does she mean?
47:22Again?
47:23You've been kissing other sous chefs?
47:25No.
47:26What?
47:26Not today, anyway.
47:29I can't believe I'm hearing this.
47:31Me and you, we're done.
47:35Here you go, babes.
47:37These are table 11's.
47:39Who the fuck are you?
47:45Becky!
47:46Desserts!
48:05Well, I'm only here one more day, thank fuck.
48:08But annoyingly, I'm back in a couple of weeks.
48:09That is the problem with getting a hip TikTok account from Trashing Shit Towns.
48:12You actually have to go to the shit towns.
48:15I could go to my own where I really have.
48:21Yeah, I know.
48:22The nerve of it.
48:23Honestly, so blasé.
48:26Sagittarius.
48:27It's still here.
48:29Mum!
48:30Table 5 needs clearing.
48:35Oh, we've got a fucking good connection, haven't we, babe?
48:38I mean, we fuck by rabbits.
48:40What's that?
48:47How many?
48:48Sorry.
48:49How many more sous chefs have they?
48:53What does it matter?
48:55It's in the past now.
48:57I just need to know.
49:01Well, I was sat in Tetris on the boat for a good ten minutes.
49:04Get the hint?
49:06You know me, babe.
49:07Can't be doing with Sagittarius assholes.
49:10Do you mind a bit of coffee and beer?
49:12I swear there must be a bin juice distillery in Middlesbrough
49:17because the whole town reeks of it.
49:21Oh, God.
49:22Don't even think about it.
49:30I'm warning you.
49:53What the fuck are you doing?
49:56Don't mess with my ketchup, bitch!
50:11I'll kill you, Linda.
50:24No, I can't hear you.
50:26Okay.
50:26Bye, babe.
50:27Love you.
50:27Bye.
50:28Bye.
50:29Sorry about that.
50:30Wrong number.
50:33Fucking Sagittarius!
50:35Oh, my God!
50:44What the hell he is all doing?
50:46This is embarrassing.
50:49Not one of you has hit Stuart.
51:12All right.
51:15Fucking hell!
51:16Do it!
51:22You know, even though he wasn't the one,
51:25I'm glad I've broken my date virginity.
51:28How do you find working as a sous chef, hun?
51:30Something to put on the CV, isn't it, babes?
51:33Best thing was, I got a snog off the chef.
51:35Yeah, of course you did, hun.
51:36I did.
51:37I believe you?
51:38You don't sound like you believe me, Lucinda,
51:39with that patronising tone of yours.
51:41Listen, I'd just like to say sorry
51:43that I let my anger get the better of me tonight, guys.
51:46I just really bloody love ketchup.
51:50I apologise, babe.
51:51It's not your fault.
51:53Danny gets pleasure out of antagonising.
51:55It's just who she is.
51:57And if I'm honest,
51:59I'm done with it.
52:07You lot ready?
52:08Yeah, come on.
52:09Go on, ma'am.
52:11Ready? Just do it, just do it.
52:12Oh!
52:16Feel the wetness!
52:18It's mine!
52:18Oh!
52:19Oh my God!
52:20Look at that there, Lorcan!
52:21We should've do these!
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