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Twisted Metal - Season 2 - Episode 08: SDDNDTH
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00:14Congratulations, one and all, and welcome to Twisted Metal.
00:19There are rules here.
00:20No killing outside of the official round.
00:23But they're also perks.
00:25I've provided delightful accommodations for you.
00:27Great. High school.
00:29It's bringing back, like, so many memories.
00:31It's crazy.
00:31I've seen the way you're acting with mine, and I don't like it.
00:35I freaking love it.
00:37The last driver behind the wheel gets their wish granted.
00:40One wish per car.
00:42I wish for all the walls to come down in every city, everywhere.
00:48Mask.
00:49I wish to bring Krista back to life.
00:52I dare something about her quiet's back.
00:55I don't know what I'm gonna do about it, man.
00:56I never lied to her.
00:59I can't afford another day like this.
01:00John!
01:01This is life and death.
01:02I've never seen you like this.
01:04What's going on?
01:05I lied to you, quiet.
01:06I made my own wish.
01:12That's good.
01:16I did it.
01:16I started to go in but I don't think so.
01:20It's a matter of day.
01:21It depends on you.
01:23I said, you know how my whole wide around life is run and the��� debates but it's moving.
01:23You just could've lost the demostrafts.
01:23I can't afford to get the estimates, really.
01:23I've burned the sécurité there.
01:23Bye, bye.
01:23Bye, bye.
01:23Bye, bye, bye, bye, bye.
01:26Bye, bye.
01:29Bye, bye, bye-bye.
01:31Bye, bye, bye, bye-bye.
01:47I need an anniversary cake, Feet's 8 Express Delivery.
01:56That's a big ass cake.
01:59It's a special occasion.
02:04Where do we tap?
02:07You got it.
02:39What the fuck?
02:44You got it.
02:56You got it.
02:58You got it.
03:01You got it.
03:03You got it.
03:14You got it.
03:33You got it.
03:45Hey!
03:47Looks like someone had it with him.
03:50Oh, fuck!
03:52Can I kiss?
03:56Fuck my life.
04:07I'm not being selfish.
04:09You made your own wish and didn't tell me.
04:11You put our lives, the mission, all of us in danger.
04:13This is why I didn't want to tell you.
04:15And that's pretty fucking selfish.
04:26What the hell are you looking at?
04:28A lonely soul.
04:30But you could always join us.
04:32Fuck off, rim job.
04:36Mmm, looks like that hot potato's back on the market.
04:41Really?
04:42No more, John.
04:44Good.
04:45Makes them easier to pick off if they're weak.
04:48Like little fishies.
05:03Seriously, John, you are being so small minded.
05:06You don't think I wanted to wish for a million fucking things,
05:08but this is bigger than us and you are being an asshole for not getting that.
05:12Fuck, I can't even look at you right now.
05:13No problem.
05:15I'm leaving.
05:25Trying to wash the odor of betrayal off your hot little body?
05:29That's right, stinky titties.
05:30Everyone in here knows what happened.
05:32Because the walls are paper thin.
05:36I didn't betray anybody.
05:38Oh, okay.
05:40Keep telling yourself that, tough guy.
05:43Furman knows the truth.
05:52Actually, I have to go this way.
06:03Somebody's gotta fix these lights.
06:13When I took the Hippocratic Oath, I swore that I would uphold the best interest of all my patients.
06:21I appreciate the concern, Doc. I'm in the best shape of my life.
06:24Well, actually, that's why I wanted to speak with you.
06:27I received the results of your physical exam.
06:31And, well, there's no easy way to say this.
06:34But I found something.
06:36Wait. Are you serious, Doc?
06:39Yes.
06:41I thought I'd have more time.
06:44Life is so incredibly precious, isn't it?
06:48All right.
06:49Don't sugarcoat it.
06:50Hit me straight.
06:51I can take it.
06:55You're sterile.
06:57Oh.
06:58Well, that explains the weird rash.
07:00No, no.
07:01That's psoriasis.
07:03Being sterile means that you can't have children.
07:05I can have as many children as I want.
07:08I mean, uh, kidnapping.
07:11I mean biologically.
07:15Uh, let me explain.
07:19You see the testicles.
07:21They make the sperm.
07:23Uh, I got plenty of testicles.
07:24What seems to be the brown.
07:25Actually, you have too many testicles.
07:27And, unfortunately, none of them work.
07:30Yours can't make sperm.
07:32Do you understand?
07:33Yes.
07:37No. No, I do not.
07:49I can tell by your grunting you and the chatty man are at war.
07:54Unfortunate.
07:55A good cock is a terrible thing to waste.
07:59If you no longer have use, shall I have him?
08:02You don't need to ask me.
08:04John does what he wants.
08:05He'd fuck you, make his own wish, jump off a fucking building.
08:08I don't care anymore.
08:09Excellent.
08:11I'm glad you approve.
08:13For even in the Arctic wasteland, I call home.
08:16To violate the girl code would be something-
08:23Good evening, my drivers.
08:26Excellent showing in the last round.
08:28You did so well, I've planned a little bonus round.
08:34I trust you're all ready to fight.
08:40I've invited some new friends to join the friend.
08:44The Apocalypse Nine.
08:47They feel nothing and are very hard to kill.
08:51They are the ultimate hunters of men.
08:53And they're on your set.
08:55It's a shame you won't have your weapon.
08:57But I've always found artillery to be a crutch.
09:00You'll just have to use brains, prawn, and good old American gumption.
09:07The rules are simple.
09:09All of you versus all of them.
09:12Quiet.
09:13Whoever's left standing when the sun rises will move on.
09:17Good luck.
09:22There. Now nobody can get in here.
09:38I can't get my gas.
09:40We're all gonna die.
10:17Oh, my God.
10:57That was a waste of a shower.
11:00He saved me for now.
11:03I plan on eviscerating you in the next round,
11:06but first we need to take care of these fuckers.
11:12Get your ass up.
11:57Man, what the hell are you doing?
11:58Oh, well, I don't know.
12:00I thought you were like an evil basketball dude or something.
12:03Evil basketball dude?
12:04What the fuck is that?
12:05We've been living with the abominable snow tits
12:07and a bug fucker.
12:09How am I the asshole here?
12:14Where are you going?
12:15It's a fine quiet.
12:17I have to make sure she's okay.
12:18Yikes.
12:19You sure you want to do that?
12:21You don't know the full story.
12:22I know you screwed up.
12:24Relationships are built on trust, John.
12:26These are complicated emotions, and you wouldn't understand.
12:29Oh, I wouldn't.
12:30I'm a divorcee.
12:31I'm a divorcee.
12:42Oh, shit.
12:46Is that fucking Freddy Krueger?
12:49I'm a divorcee.
12:50I'm a divorcee.
12:52I'm a divorcee.
13:04I'm a divorcee.
13:06I'm a divorcee.
13:10I'm a divorcee.
13:11I'm a divorcee.
13:12I'm a divorcee.
13:14I'm a divorcee.
13:15I'm a divorcee.
13:16I'm a divorcee.
13:16I'm a divorcee.
13:18I'm a divorcee.
13:18I'm a divorcee.
13:20did he say we're gonna die because if the dude with metal arms is scared we're fucked
13:24hey hey there gilbert grape what's eating you i can't fight without the gas man if i can't fight
13:32i can't kill we're all fucking dead i need it man i need the gas i need that shit hey
13:38man it's cool
13:39nobody has their wheels it's right i don't need it for my wheels dumbass i need it for me i
13:44drink
13:45it i'm a killing machine powered by pure premium unleaded okay that's very different let's leave
13:55the opinions outside stewart there's a judgment-free zone up in here he said he drinks the gas up in
14:01here just are you saying you need the gas in here is it what you need in here what the
14:08fuck hey dave
14:10dave dave i think we both know what time it is oh i'm picking up what you're putting down michael
14:18grab some chairs you got it bud uh what time is it it's time for dave to turn this shit
14:24around
14:24that's what time it is didn't you hear calypso there's a group of psychos trying to kill us
14:28if axel's our best fighter let's just get him the gas axel's most important fight
14:33is the one from within gentlemen we're having an intervention what
14:57any idea who these bottom feeders are the apocalypse 9 they're fucking nuts you know why their skin is
15:03yellow they burn their nerve endings so they don't feel shit so where's john i thought you assholes
15:09couldn't go anywhere alone that's none of your business oh so it's true then you made a different
15:14wish please you don't think these gossipy bitches talk i'm out here thinking about the greater good
15:20of all humanity he's potentially fucking it all up just thinking about himself so what did he wish for
15:25to bring his sister back to life oh interesting what is that supposed to mean i don't know it seems
15:32like the type of guy to wish for an elephant-sized dong or a house made of candy
15:58what kind of psychopath would do something like this well well well
16:05If it isn't the popular girls!
16:08God, I must shit my fucking shorts.
16:10Surprise.
16:11I guess I'm not as prim and proper as you thought I was.
16:18Well, it looks like you've got this covered.
16:19Yeah, we're gonna go snuff out the rest of these fuckers.
16:21Oh, no, wait.
16:25Oh, I just was gonna say good luck with wherever you're going, so...
16:31I'll just...
16:33I'll just be here.
16:35By myself.
16:38Not by myself.
16:40With you, of course.
16:48Do you want to come with us?
16:51Looks like these worker ants just became a colony.
16:56Dun, dun, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na.
16:59Girls night.
17:00Oh, we can bring each other care.
17:02We can have a slumber party.
17:03We could do love.
17:04Why?
17:09We need weapons.
17:12Shit, looks like someone took all the good stuff.
17:14Oh, no, duh.
17:15Oh, no, duh.
17:17Quit playing around.
17:18I'm trying to figure out a way out of this.
17:20Don't hurt yourself.
17:21I've been surviving out here since I was a kid.
17:23I know what I'm doing.
17:24Oh, yeah?
17:24How old were you?
17:26Twelve.
17:27Seven.
17:29Well, it was the start of the apocalypse when shit was really hard.
17:32Oh, yeah.
17:33I bet it was so hard to have tons of supplies and food to loot.
17:38Everything was picked over by the time my generation got to them.
17:40See?
17:41You want everything handed to you.
17:42When I was a kid, you had to get a car and go find it.
17:45A car?
17:46What car?
17:47None of them were left after the old-timers like you took them all.
17:50God, I bet back in your day you could just trip, fall, and smack your head into a car.
17:55No.
17:57Yeah, well, you should have joined a group or something.
18:01Oh, no, duh.
18:02You don't think that I tried?
18:04Everyone that I found out there was a weirdo sex pest or a lunatic.
18:08I never found people who wanted me around.
18:11Who actually got me.
18:15Yeah, I know that feeling.
18:19All right.
18:20Come on.
18:20What happened between you guys?
18:23We got in a fight.
18:25A big one.
18:28She told me she couldn't stand the sight of me.
18:32So?
18:34So I left.
18:36So you took the easy way out.
18:38Classic bitch move.
18:44You took the easy way out of me.
18:46You have any ideas?
18:49One.
18:54Good haul today.
18:57Save me the heads.
18:58I like to suck the eyes.
19:03The hell?
19:05Let me try.
19:09it's locked be noticed
19:26look man i know that talking about the past isn't easy but we don't judge this is a safe space
19:36i feel like this is actually a dangerous space do we really have time for this one of those vents
19:41probably leads to the garage where the gas is hey still trust the process
19:50yeah go ahead axel
19:54my life started out fine enough
19:58but things got harder to my dad left that's tough it's okay for being honest losing my wife was
20:03harder god damn she cheated on me but my dad wow wow well i'm sure karma came for those two
20:12it didn't
20:15they got married and moved to napa me i stayed in louisiana work was hard to come by
20:22took on a lot of debt from the wrong people so you started drinking gas no i had to work
20:29off what i
20:29owed oh not killing oh yeah one day i got a job it's a usual assignment eliminate everyone
20:42but they forgot to mention one thing
20:46a baby
20:50so you're haunted by killing a baby which i didn't kill no baby
20:54i'd never kill a kid of course not but i got the child out of there and we went on
20:59the run
21:00for a long time it was just the two of us on the road
21:07those were good days
21:10some of the best in my life
21:12yo i mean you did save the kid right you should be proud of yourself brothers
21:19one night
21:23vultures raided my camp i fought as hard as i could but they knocked me out
21:30the last thing i remember is that baby screaming
21:38when i came to the kid was gone
21:45so i went looking for her then i met this scientist zimu
21:53he said he helped me find her
21:57instead he trapped me tortured me did experiments
22:04he took away my hands
22:08put me in the wheels
22:12and that's when the gas came in
22:15that's when you started drinking the gas
22:17all i had were my wheels and that gas can so to forget i take it straight to the dome
22:23look guys i know what's going on here you think the gas controls you
22:29but you were murdering people before the gas look man on the real i used to eat human flesh
22:35it's gross and it turned me into a different person but eventually i learned to forgive myself
22:41and i moved the on with a little help from a friend
22:49it's easy for you to say it's just me and my wheels
22:59you're not alone anymore but we believe in you even if you don't right now
23:04we know that you could murder anyone you put your mind to murdering
23:08stone cold soaps i couldn't have said it better beautiful stuff stew
23:23you want axel here i am
23:48so we wish for a sister to come back how is that selfish exactly yeah it's not like you
23:53wish for like a bug body or a beetle wing or like a bigger dick or something fine what he
23:58wished for wasn't exactly selfish but he still risked the mission he risked your mission guess
24:04he thought saving one person was more important i agree that doesn't change the fact that he kept
24:08it a secret from me we're supposed to have each other's backs are you really that dense do you know
24:14how many times john tried to escape my city to get back to you 15 times the dumbass even cracked
24:20his head open falling from a hang glider made of pizza boxes he's not a thinker god you two
24:26morons are made for each other excuse me here comes the boot
24:38did i ever tell you girlies about ronald ronald hinkley he was the love of mine
24:43right now he had a shiny little pony hair and he was a soprano in the ninth grade choir oh
24:49yeah i used
24:50to get such a snail trail when he'd sing oh baby move no one cares
25:00one summer he was at camp finch and i was all the way a mile away
25:07i can't let's go back so you know what we did we snuck out at night so that we could
25:16see each other
25:20we made it work you know why because despite our differences we were in love
25:31what happened to ronald oh i dumped his ass when he wouldn't put out
25:35you guys know what i'm talking about huh only so much second base you can do before you need to
25:40slide into home
25:44do you guys think i was john
25:48i mean it might have been still i don't know should we go check oh should we go check maybe
25:54we can go
25:55hey let's go
26:35surprise
26:37no no no
26:59Bam, now!
27:15Bam, I think I missed his pants.
27:18You good?
27:18Yeah.
27:19Yeah, why?
27:20Did I get some on me?
27:25Holy shit, that was crazy. How'd you come up with that?
27:27I hit out in a blockbuster for a month,
27:29survived off nothing but stale candy and horror movies.
27:32Horror movies? Hell no, that's too scary.
27:34Oh, pussy.
27:35Come on, horror movies are great!
27:37Although, I refuse to watch Deep Blue Sea.
27:39I do not fuck with the ocean or the shit that lives in it.
27:42Way too scary.
27:43Finally, someone understand that the ocean sucks!
27:48Oh, shit.
27:51Don't worry about it.
27:52The way we took that guy down.
27:54If we stick together, we can...
27:57Shit!
28:01John!
28:02Why?
28:03Thank God you're alive.
28:05Well, I mean, don't jinx it.
28:16Out of my way.
28:17Mom!
28:18I got this.
28:29Once, there was his kid and got into an accident and caught and come to school.
28:39But when he finally cleaned back his hair
28:47Had turned from black into bright white
28:53He said that it was from when my cousin sent his home
29:18Thank God he's on our side
29:20Yeah, for now
29:21I did it
29:22I killed without the gas
29:24You did so good, bro
29:26Hey, you slaughtered those tough steps
29:28Awesome, awesome stuff, Axel
29:32Uh, real talk?
29:33I don't know if taking away this guy's one weakness was the best idea
29:38Stu, ah, there you are
29:40I don't know about you, but I have had quite the day
29:43Long story short, the doctor said my nuts are broken
29:46So I won't be shitting out a baby any time soon
29:49And it made me think and reevaluate my life for what I want
29:53I'm adopting you, son
29:57Oh, wow, uh, what?
30:00All right, squirt
30:02Not too old to play catch with your old man, are ya?
30:07Come on, Sheriff, gotta keep your eye on the head
30:12Congratulations, my friends, to those who survived
30:16The Apocalypse Nine have been defeated
30:19You work well as a team
30:21Too bad, because next round is every man for himself
30:43Can we talk?
30:47Yeah
30:49I'm quiet
30:51I'm sorry
30:54I messed up real bad
30:58You did
31:00I made a snap decision
31:01And I regret it
31:14When Chris and I didn't really have time to process it
31:21I'm sorry for that
31:26It just happened so fast
31:31If you ever want to talk about her
31:35Just ask
31:40I think you should have it
31:49Thanks
31:55Come on
31:57We can fix this
32:15What the hell?
32:17I do
32:35C'MON
32:45John
32:46Harvey
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