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00:01Do you feel a bit rusty, Romance?
00:03Yes, very rusty.
00:05Definitely need a WD for our day.
00:08I need some help.
00:09It's hard out there.
00:11I am very single at the moment.
00:13I've run out of swipes.
00:15I've completed Tinder.
00:17In the heart of Britain's most romantic city.
00:21Aloha.
00:22Fred and his team.
00:24This is Captain Fur Potato.
00:26Our matching hopeful singletons.
00:28We're getting married, Merlin.
00:30In a place where love is always on the menu.
00:34I've got a bit in your finger.
00:35You didn't go that far down the street.
00:39These daters.
00:40He probably thinks I'm having a poo or something.
00:42Are searching for the one.
00:48Would you chase me around the bedroom?
00:49Absolutely.
00:50Get your coat.
00:51I'm in.
00:52For some, stepping into the unknown.
00:56Can lead to surprising sparks.
00:59I work in the adult industry.
01:01Do you have an office for that?
01:02I have a dungeon.
01:04But finding a connection.
01:06A love story is about to begin.
01:09Shut up.
01:10Isn't always easy.
01:12Please tell me you actually last longer than three minutes.
01:17Help me.
01:20In the end.
01:21Hi.
01:21It comes down to one.
01:24Nice to see you here.
01:25Big.
01:26Question.
01:28Would you guys like to see each other again?
01:30This isn't a total quiz, is it?
01:32This is the First Dates Restaurants.
01:43You have to have an open mind when you're dating.
01:45I'm a dominatrix.
01:46Interesting.
01:48You have to be open to different people.
01:51Spanking.
01:52Bondage tying.
01:53Where do I sign up then?
01:55People that might spark interests in you that you didn't know about.
01:58I'm half of a hip hop duo.
02:00Right.
02:01They end up in their 40s.
02:03I've always found that people that surprised me were the ones that I'd actually like.
02:08A millionaireess needs a magnet.
02:10That's what I want.
02:10Close.
02:11Jolly close.
02:17Hello.
02:20Ready to prove she's full of surprises and hoping for sparks is engineer Ellie.
02:26My day-to-day job consists of a lot of grinding.
02:30When I say grinding, I mean angle grinding.
02:36I'm the only woman in my company that I work for.
02:39But just because I'm a woman doesn't mean I can't get a faultless license.
02:42You do have to mark your territory.
02:44How are you Ellie?
02:45I'm good.
02:46Nice to meet you.
02:47Nice to meet you.
02:48Are you ready?
02:49I'm so ready.
02:50Come with me.
02:50Sometimes I speak before I think.
02:53Being blunt can sometimes annoy the guy that I've dated.
02:57A lot of my thoughts will be quite brutally honest.
03:02Have you been on mini dates?
03:04Quite a few, yes.
03:05Maybe too many.
03:07They've mainly been dating apps, but that's obviously not worked yet.
03:10Not working?
03:11No.
03:11But that's okay.
03:12That's why we're here.
03:13And what are you looking for tonight?
03:14Someone that's a bit fun, that wants to have a laugh, a good time.
03:18I would like someone who's confident and also someone who's slightly willing to embarrass themselves.
03:24Should I get you a drink?
03:26Do you want some tea?
03:26Yeah, I'll have a look at the menu, please.
03:28Someone who doesn't care so much about what other people think.
03:35Not afraid to cause a reaction is nuclear project manager, Callum.
03:41When I meet people and I tell them my job, they tend to think, God, he's Homer Simpson.
03:46I've been told I look like Wallace from Wallace and Gromit a few times as well, which is,
03:50again, not a compliment, is it?
03:52I grew up being a proper nerdy kid.
03:55I used to love dinosaurs and Pokémon and all that sort of stuff.
03:58I think nerdy people are just generally kind.
04:01Hello.
04:02Confident young man.
04:03Feeling confident, feeling good.
04:05You are. How are you? Nice to meet you, Callum.
04:06How are you doing?
04:07I don't think there's any shame in being a bit geeky.
04:10I think it's something you should cherish, to be honest.
04:16Your date has arrived.
04:17Oh, lovely.
04:18Yeah.
04:19Shall I take you through?
04:19Yes, please, yes.
04:20Give them a new?
04:21I'm looking for somebody who's quite adventurous, a little bit nerdy.
04:24It's actually popping.
04:26Here we go.
04:27Hello.
04:27I'm Ellie.
04:28Callum, nice to meet you.
04:29Nice to meet you.
04:29You look lovely.
04:31Oh, thanks.
04:31Cheers.
04:32Pleasure.
04:33You all right?
04:34Yeah, I'm good.
04:34How are you?
04:35I'm good.
04:35How are you feeling?
04:36I'm nervous, I'll be honest.
04:37Me too.
04:38You look great.
04:40So do you?
04:41Do you want some water?
04:42I'll do that.
04:43Don't worry.
04:45If I can even pour it properly.
04:46It's just spill all over the floor.
04:49What do you do?
04:50I do engineering.
04:51No way.
04:52I used to be an engineer.
04:53No way.
04:54What did you do?
04:54I was civil.
04:55I used to like work in my nuclear and stuff.
04:57That's cool.
04:58I really wanted to go into nuclear.
04:59No.
04:59I didn't go into nuclear.
05:02So what do you do now?
05:03I'm a project manager.
05:04I've actually been thinking about doing more project management stuff.
05:06I feel like that's the path for engineers though, isn't it?
05:08I feel like once you get like, I was going to say big enough, that sounds really cocky.
05:11No, but once you get good enough.
05:13I am kind of a big deal, okay?
05:15I know.
05:15Do you?
05:16No.
05:17It's like, well, cheers.
05:18It's water.
05:20I'm like, that's the ick already, isn't it?
05:28So kitsch.
05:28I love it, guys.
05:30Shall I get you something to drink?
05:32I would love something to drink.
05:33What would you like?
05:33A French martini.
05:34I think the French martini, it comes in a coupe glass based on Marie Antoinette's breast.
05:39That's right.
05:39Thank you so much, Fred.
05:44Bookworm turned author, Becky, is ready to turn her fiction fantasies into hard backs.
06:20We stumble upstairs and into the bedroom.
06:21I think it's something exciting.
06:22Bit of an adventure.
06:23Well, this is going to be an adventure.
06:24It will be an adventure.
06:26The whole of online dating is one big contradiction.
06:30I've been chatting to a man online and he told me that I wasn't his type.
06:35But the next day, he sent me a dick pic.
06:38Oh.
06:39What about sexual chemistry?
06:41Is it important for you?
06:42Hugely important.
06:43Is it?
06:43You might not want to necessarily rip their clothes off, but you know, just undo a few buttons.
06:48Looking for someone who's upstanding, full of integrity and treats a woman right,
06:54but at the same time has got a naughty side and he will do all kind of spontaneous naughty things.
07:02Would it be really important that she was a good kisser?
07:05I guess it would.
07:06Yes, I guess that's the message, isn't it?
07:09Becky's date is retired English teacher turned poet.
07:13Paul, can it sweet words steal Becky's beating heart?
07:18Love feels like a warmish volcano going off inside.
07:24This huge feeling just comes out of nowhere.
07:27Oh my God, that's what it's all about.
07:31How are you?
07:32I'm good.
07:33Bonjour.
07:33Nice to meet you.
07:34Bonjour.
07:34Are you excited about today?
07:35Yeah, I've only recently sort of started dating.
07:39Now's the time to start looking for that person I should really be with.
07:43Right.
07:43It's been so long really, hope springs eternal.
07:46What's important for you?
07:48I like cultural things.
07:49I like the arts and theatre and music and all that sort of thing.
07:52So do you write or...?
07:54I do write, yes.
07:55My type should probably be creative. I took quite a light long here really.
08:00Come with me.
08:02Mouth shape, I suppose it's kissability.
08:05Here we are.
08:06Hello.
08:06Hello.
08:07Lovely to meet you.
08:08Hi Paul.
08:08I'm Becky.
08:09Hi.
08:09How do you do?
08:12Thanks, Fred.
08:13Enjoy your date.
08:45Right.
08:46But since I retired, I'm in London.
08:47Okay.
08:48I'm in the British library at the moment, researching.
08:50One of my favourite places.
08:51Yeah, yes.
08:57Are you ready?
08:58Hello.
08:58I will put this in the middle.
09:01That looks very nice.
09:02All good?
09:03All good.
09:04You're welcome.
09:07Right, are there any, um, like, turn offs you have or red flags, I guess?
09:12I don't know about turn offs, but I kind of like, I know what I want.
09:15What do you want?
09:16I want someone who's like, nice and I want someone who's like, fun.
09:20Yeah.
09:20Because I feel that's been like, severely lacking in things in the past.
09:25I had like a pretty rough year last year, obviously.
09:27Why was it rough?
09:28Me and my partner split up just before Christmas, because I was like, cheated on pretty badly.
09:33Oh, no.
09:34It was on and off for like a few years, so every time it was off was because of cheating.
09:40That relationship was the only time I felt in love with somebody.
09:45It kind of feels like all fairy tales and magic and all that sort of stuff when you're in it,
09:48but then you kind of don't realise how much you lose yourself sometimes.
09:53That's painful.
09:55Yeah, I've not had the like best dating history.
09:57Like everything that I liked about myself, she didn't, if I'd reach for her hand in public,
10:03she'd yank it away.
10:04It was almost like I felt she was a bit ashamed of me.
10:07And that kind of beats you down after a little while.
10:09I want to change that, I want to break the cycle.
10:39Yeah.
10:41But I didn't want to take any dramas from my last relationship into a new one.
10:45I feel really good.
10:46I feel really good.
10:47Like, no, I want to do like this stuff this year, like buy a place and travel a bit more
10:53and stuff.
10:53That's good.
10:54Would you want to get married one day?
10:55Yeah, definitely.
10:56Yeah.
10:56I do.
10:56Do you?
10:57Yeah, one day.
10:58One day.
10:58I'm not saying right now.
11:02Do you want kids?
11:02One day.
11:03Yeah, I do.
11:05I'm like, I don't know, I don't know if I should say this.
11:09I get like, I don't know, well broody at the moment.
11:12Yeah.
11:12Well, because I've seen my mates and kids and stuff.
11:15And it's just so cute.
11:16It's like they've got a whole family thing together.
11:18Yeah, it's kind of cute.
11:19I always like said to myself when I left uni, like, oh, I'll get married and have a kid before
11:2230.
11:23I'm like, got to get fucking cracking.
11:27We're running out of time here.
11:41Hope steals like strong perfume into spring air.
11:45Expectation stands on tiptoe, not daring to breathe.
11:49Who are you?
11:50You hover ahead of me like an angel as we are born into a new season, the spring of our
11:55age.
11:56Well, I'm no angel, I'll tell you that, but very good.
12:01He wrote her a pre-planned love poem.
12:04How cute is that?
12:05That's really sweet.
12:06No, loves.
12:07I think I'd absolutely love that.
12:09I would die for that.
12:10I'd like to know that someone's thought about me before they've even met me.
12:12Yeah, he's not even met her yet and he's writing her a poem.
12:15Actions.
12:16This is why I don't do food on dates.
12:18No, it's a bit awkward, isn't it?
12:20Yeah.
12:20How have you found, like, dating since uni then?
12:22It's more difficult to, like, meet people when you're not at uni.
12:27Yeah.
12:28So you have to kind of, like, rely on the dating apps, but then obviously, like...
12:31They're shit.
12:32They're awful.
12:32I've been on quite a few dates, actually, last year, just because I was like, wow.
12:36Right, no.
12:37I didn't...
12:39It was just so easy to do, like, them so often, you know what I mean?
12:43Yeah.
12:44Too much choice.
12:44But then, yeah.
12:45My Nana was just like, you've got to kiss a few frogs before you meet a princess.
12:49But obviously, it didn't work out with anyone.
12:52I would say I'm really sorry it didn't work out, but I'm not.
12:54Like, it's not.
12:55You're very attractive.
12:57Right, so there you go.
12:57Look at you, like...
12:58Thanks.
13:01And now you say something nice about me.
13:02No, no, I'm joking.
13:03You're also very attractive.
13:06How old are you, by the way?
13:07I'm 29.
13:0829?
13:09How old are you?
13:10Is that...
13:10I would say guess, but I feel like I don't really want to guess.
13:13I'm awful at this.
13:15Go on.
13:1525?
13:16Yeah, 25 in a couple of weeks.
13:18Oh, no, wait.
13:18You must have graduated, what, like a week ago?
13:20And in that case, or...?
13:21Last year.
13:22Wow.
13:22Age gap, no, like...
13:23Yeah, I probably started uni when you finished.
13:26Don't say that.
13:29The majority of 25-year-olds have so many options, but also it's a bit terrifying.
13:35I could settle down and get a job.
13:37I could go back to uni.
13:38I could take a year off.
13:39I could travel the world.
13:40I don't know.
13:41I could literally do anything, and I think that is so scary.
13:45I'm having, like, a quarter-life crisis.
13:47It's like, what do I do?
13:48Which way do I go?
13:49What's, like, number one at the moment?
13:51Right now, I think it's good to have a job.
13:54A child?
13:55A job.
13:56Right.
13:56Not a child.
13:57No time soon.
13:58No, that wasn't, like, a panic look.
13:59It's all right.
14:00I was just, like, trying to hear a what.
14:02Dating in your mid-20s is really strange,
14:05because so many people are at different points in their life,
14:09but they're the same age.
14:10People could do anything at this point in time.
14:12They could get married, they could have babies,
14:14or they could just have a date.
14:16It's tricky.
14:17I feel like I'm, like, approaching a bit of a, like,
14:20mid-life crisis.
14:21What do I want to do with my life?
14:22I was like...
14:23Yeah.
14:23I'd love to, like, I don't know, open a CAF, I think,
14:26and just, like, have a little quiet life.
14:27Really?
14:28Nice.
14:29Right now, I want to have fun in my life.
14:32I'm not at the stage where I really want to settle down.
14:36I would like to have adventures with someone.
14:40Life is so short, and why not have fun?
14:43I think I would like to do a ski season.
14:45I like climbing.
14:46Oh, sick.
14:47Do you?
14:47I've done it, like, when I lived in Bristol.
14:49I'm scared of heights, so...
14:50Oh, God, you don't like heights!
14:51I'll try anything once, honestly.
14:53I tried CrossFit to try and, like...
14:55Oh, yeah?
14:56...make friends last summer.
14:58How do you make friends as an adult?
14:59Yeah, no, literally, how do you make friends as an adult?
15:01Do you ever go on, like, nights out, anymore?
15:03Ever.
15:06No, I'm just staying and knit.
15:08OK.
15:09Yeah.
15:10I still have nights out.
15:14Hello, you wonderful people, how's it going?
15:16My name's Kyle.
15:17You look a good gentleman.
15:18Very natterly dressed.
15:20Yeah, he does.
15:21Do you know what you wanted to drink at all?
15:23I would like wine, I think.
15:24Yeah, white wine?
15:25Yes, that sounds good.
15:26Awesome.
15:27Thank you very much.
15:27It's all good.
15:28So, what do you write?
15:29Well, I wrote, last year, a cultural memoir,
15:32which was about the effects of technology
15:36on relationships between men and women
15:38and how the whole, kind of, scene has completely changed.
15:41OK.
15:41And that all came out of a very bad situation I was in with an ex.
15:48When I separated from my ex, it was a very, very dark time.
15:54I needed a period of time for my heart to mend again,
15:58because it was broken, definitely.
16:00What I thought was there was no longer there, so I had to reshape my future.
16:07About nine months or so after we separated, that's when I thought,
16:11now's the time to start looking around.
16:14So that's when I started online dating, which led me into a lot of adventures.
16:18That's really what my book was all about.
16:20It was great fun for a number of years.
16:22I met lots of different men, had my heart broken a bit,
16:27made quite a lot of bad decisions along the way.
16:30You know, toy boy situation, I've had a phase of toy boys.
16:35Ah, the toy boys.
16:38I found there were a lot of younger men approaching me,
16:41which came as a huge surprise.
16:42It was a boost to the confidence, but also at the same time,
16:46I was thinking, what the hell are you doing?
16:47This is not good.
16:49I'd had enough of that now.
16:51You know, I wanted to meet people in real life,
16:53rather than toy boys online.
16:56Yes.
16:57I'm looking for both love and lust.
17:00To me, they co-exist.
17:02I want that companionship, I want that connection,
17:05because that's important to me.
17:08It's interesting that you can have so much chemistry zinging off the screen,
17:13but when you actually meet in real life, there's absolutely nothing there.
17:16Yeah.
17:17Yeah, toy boys.
17:24I did see online there are Aphrodite bitters.
17:28Yes.
17:28It's kind of like bitters of love.
17:30Yes.
17:30So I think we should be putting a few dashes of that in every cocktail.
17:33Every single drink.
17:34Seriously, these are cocktails, man.
17:36You cannot claim any health benefit from a cocktail.
17:39I beg to differ.
17:40I really beg to differ.
17:41It gives you heartbeats.
17:42I know, yeah, whisky makes you frisky.
17:43Cider makes you a good rider, rum will make you...
17:47I'm going to leave you guys to it, man.
17:48No, no, I'm not part of this.
17:50OK, what other ones can we come up with?
17:5334-year-old John is a disco DJ.
17:56He knows how to get the party started,
17:58but his love life seems somewhat off track.
18:02You must get women throwing themselves at you.
18:04Nah, this is a misconception.
18:07I don't know what fat whistling does.
18:09It's not true.
18:11I'd like to know what the trick is, because I haven't found it yet.
18:14I've got to move on.
18:16My outfit is inspired by a certain Chandler being...
18:20Eventually, Chandler got it right, so I'd like to think my story would be a similar ending,
18:26I'd hope.
18:26I'm looking for my moniker, yes.
18:28Look at that suit.
18:30Thank you very much.
18:31Nice to meet you, John.
18:32Yeah, pleasure.
18:32You go on many dates?
18:34Uh, I try.
18:35You try?
18:36I've...
18:36Yeah, I'm experienced.
18:38You're experienced, although I'm here now, so it's fine.
18:41Last chance saloon.
18:42Here I am.
18:44I am quite picky.
18:45All right, let's go.
18:47How do you approach girls?
18:48I don't.
18:50Take a seat, mate.
18:51Then he will fix you up.
18:52It's that awful fear of rejection.
18:55Maybe I should go to, like, dating school, where they, you know, teach you to be fearless.
18:59So, tell me a bit about who you're looking for.
19:01A brunette, like a slim figure and everything.
19:04Maya Jammer vibes.
19:05Okay.
19:05That's my vibe.
19:06That's your vibe.
19:07But whether I'm their vibe, I don't know, so that's why I'm here.
19:10Warm, funny, outgoing, smiles at me in that way that any other girl smiles at their boyfriend.
19:19That's the aim of the game, isn't it?
19:21It's not hard, is it?
19:24With a smile that could save the planet, environmental campaigner Susha is looking for someone to burst her bubble.
19:31Bubbles are just whimsical goodness.
19:34Because if a guy can't appreciate bubbles, then we're not on the same level of whimsy.
19:40I feel like people meet me and they think that I'm, like, really, like, overly sweet and cute.
19:46And, like, they're just like, oh, you want to save the world?
19:49My life is, like, full.
19:51It's an open book waiting for someone to walk into.
19:56I'm looking for, at the risk of being too ambitious, the love of my life.
20:01Good to meet you, Susha.
20:02I'm so excited.
20:03The date is here.
20:04Okay.
20:05He's at the bar.
20:08My type is someone who is funny, first and foremost.
20:12Dark eyes, dark hair, we love a beard, love just the moustache, too.
20:18Hi.
20:19Hi, how are you?
20:20Nice to meet you.
20:21Nice to meet you.
20:22Oh, sorry, it's all right.
20:23What's your name?
20:24I'm Susha.
20:25Susha.
20:26Like sushi, but Susha.
20:27Sushi, Susha.
20:28And you?
20:28John.
20:29John, nice to meet you.
20:31What can we get you to drink?
20:32A blooming lovely.
20:34So, where are you from?
20:35I'm from London.
20:35What about you?
20:36Ah, I live in Homerton.
20:38Oh, easy.
20:39I live in Whitechapel, so really close.
20:40Nice.
20:41What do you do?
20:43I work for an environmental charity.
20:45Oh.
20:46Yeah, doing their digital comms and social bits.
20:49Oh, nice, that's nice.
20:50What about you?
20:51By day, I work for the council, doing their video stuff, like community hero content.
20:57Oh, love.
20:58I may be working on a new social content stream at the moment that is literally trying
21:02to do community hero stories.
21:06Heroes need to be heard.
21:07I see why I'm unmatched.
21:08Yeah.
21:08Well, cheers.
21:09Cheers, thank you.
21:11Cheers.
21:11I can't tell us.
21:12Sorry.
21:17The other day, I had some Watsits, and I was having them with chopsticks.
21:21You're so cultured.
21:22I love Chinese restaurants.
21:24Chinese, not Italian.
21:26My dad's parents, like, immigrated from Italy to America.
21:29Oh, no way?
21:30Yeah.
21:30I kind of, like, fixate on stuff, and I'm, like, really fixated on the American election.
21:34Really?
21:35It's just baffled.
21:36It's crazy, isn't it?
21:38Yeah.
21:38Who says romance is dead?
21:39We're talking about politics.
21:40Yeah, I know.
21:41Like, I'm really showing my age now.
21:43Like...
21:44Yeah.
21:45Thank you so much about my stocks and shares ISA I'm about to open.
21:48Oh, fuck, I'll do.
21:49Tell me all about that, then, like, I'm looking to invest.
21:54What's the, like, weirdest thing that's put you off somebody?
21:56Oh, I took someone on a date.
21:57Yeah.
21:58And we went cold water swimming, because I was like, that's fun.
22:02I got in, and then he just could not get in.
22:05He was like, why does anyone do this for fun?
22:06And I was like, because it's fun.
22:08I don't know.
22:09I do that.
22:10Do you?
22:11Yeah, I do that, yeah.
22:12I do, like, rivers and stuff.
22:13There's a quarry near me that I do it.
22:15I love it.
22:15I think it's great.
22:16Cold water swimming is something that, like, older women always do.
22:19Are you older than you say you are?
22:20Is that what you're about to say?
22:20Maybe.
22:21Secretly.
22:22But it's a bit of a thrill, isn't it?
22:24Yeah.
22:26I like to think it was a vibe, but I can get it wrong.
22:32So I don't want to get my hopes up.
22:33I have won by the bill.
22:35I'm going to leave it here.
22:37Should we split it, then?
22:38I'm happy to take it.
22:39I'm happy to split it.
22:41No, it's okay.
22:41I got it.
22:42Don't worry.
22:42Yeah, it's fine.
22:43All right.
22:45That's fine.
22:52Jokes, I'm broke.
22:56I forgot all of my cards.
22:58All of my cards?
23:00What's happened?
23:01Can't even dine and dash for being recorded.
23:06Would you like to see each other again?
23:10I would like to see you again, yeah.
23:13I'd like to see you again, too.
23:14Oh, good.
23:15Cool.
23:18Good choice.
23:19Yeah, good choice.
23:19Have a good evening.
23:20Thank you, you too.
23:21Have some place fun now?
23:23Hopefully.
23:23Yeah, okay.
23:25I think we got a similar sense of humor in that.
23:27It's both a little bit awkward and a little bit dry and strange.
23:35You're a little bit strange.
23:37This is nice, isn't it?
23:38So nice.
23:39So flowery.
23:42Yeah, I'd fancy you.
23:45Yeah, I thought you were very attractive when I walked in.
23:47Thanks.
23:49I thought you were too.
23:50Well, you are still.
23:51I know.
23:54Thanks for getting it as well.
23:55That's all right.
23:56You're a bit older than me.
23:57You've probably got a bit more savings than me.
24:09Eva, can you help me a second?
24:11Absolutely.
24:12Let's go.
24:14This is a moose bush and they call it a mouth pleaser.
24:18It's got an aphrodisiac in it, apparently.
24:21I will try it.
24:22Chuck it all in it once, apparently.
24:24Oh, gosh.
24:25Oh, he's gone for it.
24:26He's gone for it.
24:27He's gone for it, yeah.
24:27Nice, Paul.
24:28I'll take a few minutes to calm down after that one.
24:31It's a bit of a mouth pleaser, isn't it?
24:32It's amused your bush.
24:34It has amused my bush, yes.
24:35My bush has never been so amused.
24:40You were talking about the dates you've been on.
24:43I'm relatively new to this, very inexperienced.
24:45Have you been separated, divorced?
24:48My daughter's mother, I was with her for 30 years,
24:52but we never lived together.
24:54We were never married.
24:57We had a child, but it didn't work out.
25:00My mental health was in the doldrums for a long time.
25:03I got ill with depression.
25:05Clearly, that relationship could never work.
25:07So I've been in therapy trying to get over this.
25:11Oh, it must have been so difficult.
25:12And it's years and years of it, yes.
25:14Thanks to the hard work of mental health services and myself,
25:18finally, I feel I've come to terms with what happened to me.
25:21I've understood it, and that makes me feel, you know,
25:23I could be a good partner for somebody now.
25:26It's only just in the last year, really,
25:28I felt it's a time for new beginnings, you know?
25:32So I would like to spend it with someone, really.
25:35I do feel that I'm ready for a relationship.
25:39Here I am, hoping to find the one.
25:42Did you know immediately if you were attracted to somebody?
25:45You can tell if there's a spark.
25:47Usually, I can tell, yeah.
25:50What is it I'm expecting to feel?
25:54Well, I think if you have to ask yourself,
25:56then there's no spark.
25:58Mm.
26:14Hey, how are you doing? Nice to meet you.
26:16How are you getting on? Are you all right?
26:18Horrible. Terrible.
26:19Yeah.
26:21I was having fun.
26:22Yeah.
26:24How are we doing with the menu?
26:26What are we thinking?
26:27I think we're going to go for sharing messe.
26:29Lovely.
26:30Thank you very much.
26:32So, what do you like to do?
26:34I disco DJ.
26:36That's cool. How long have you been DJing?
26:3910 years.
26:40Oh, mad.
26:41Yeah, we had a, like, 10th birthday last year.
26:43In fact, if you're...
26:45If you're about to pull out a fucking sticker, oh, my God!
26:49You're welcome.
26:50I have a sticker for you, too!
26:51Oh, my God, what is it?
26:52It's a climate sticker, so if you don't care about the climate,
26:55we'll see.
26:55We have to care about the climate.
26:57We must.
26:57That's cool.
26:58It's not cool, but it is cool.
27:01That's like a melting?
27:02Yeah, the earth do be melting, it's hot.
27:05That's cool.
27:05Oh, my God, I love.
27:06Thanks.
27:07Um, do you know what you're looking for at this point in your life?
27:10Well, I'm at that point in my life where everyone's getting married and having kids.
27:14Mm.
27:15And I am not, so I'm kind of thinking, yeah, I need to, uh, seek that.
27:21You need to or want to?
27:22Yeah, um...
27:24When was the last relationship?
27:2618 months.
27:27Like, she dances on a cruise ship.
27:31Mm, fun.
27:32I know, I was like, fucking holidays sorted then, lovely.
27:36So, like, met her in Birmingham.
27:37Fair work is my annual leave.
27:39Yeah.
27:40The way we met was in, like, a, went to a Beatles tribute band.
27:44Love, you met in the wild.
27:46Yeah, I know, weird, like, obviously, like, being a dancer, she works her way.
27:51So, you know, the plan was to go out and see her and then halfway and everything,
27:55something to look forward to.
27:56And, you know, I actually thought this was going to be something.
27:58And then I just got a call of, like, I need to tell you something.
28:02I was like...
28:04Oh, no.
28:06She was like, oh, I just, you know, slept with someone on the ship.
28:09And I was like...
28:15I don't wish that upon anyone.
28:18Just felt a bit empty, you know?
28:20You're kind of like, what now?
28:23She just wanted to walk back into my life.
28:26I need to rebuild the truck.
28:27There was no grovelling, which is not what I was there for.
28:30But also, like, come on.
28:32I do deserve better than that.
28:33Everyone deserves better than that.
28:35If I was to do that, I would be round her house.
28:37I would be with flowers.
28:39Yeah.
28:39I would be begging her.
28:41And there was none of that.
28:42So I just thought, you're worth more than that, I think.
28:45I told her it was not for me.
28:49We all want to be loved and life is for sharing.
28:52And if you do that with a companion, that's the goal in life.
28:56I mean, it wasn't even that long.
28:57But it was one of them where I actually thought,
28:59OK, this could go somewhere.
29:00Yeah.
29:01So it was...
29:02Do you think you were in love?
29:03Yeah.
29:11This is Andy, who, at the age of 72, is living life in the Barthelaine
29:17and getting revved up for romance.
29:22When I'm riding my motorbike, I feel really free.
29:26I can zip along at speed, just watch the world go by.
29:30It's just a great thing to do.
29:32I love it.
29:32You look like a man without a care in the world.
29:34Oh, I hope so.
29:36I love that.
29:36OK, good.
29:37But you don't find women on the back of a motorbike.
29:39Tell me, why are you single?
29:41I have no idea.
29:42I wish I knew that.
29:42I've been single for five years, Fred.
29:44What about your friends and family?
29:45Do they introduce you to people?
29:47My family's all over the place.
29:49I've got a few friends around.
29:50But most people you know are married or in relationships.
29:53I hope I'm a little bit unconventional.
29:55Currently, my body wants to go to sleep, but my head is not letting me.
29:59Come with me.
30:00I'll take you to your table.
30:01Thank you, sir.
30:02What retirement means for me is scuba diving, parachuting,
30:06caving, all those sorts of things.
30:08We'll go this way.
30:10But I always feel it's better to be able to do that with your partner.
30:13Shall I get you a drink while you're waiting?
30:15Err...
30:15What would you like?
30:16Sauvignon Blanc would be really nice.
30:17On the way.
30:19I love to plan the future, you know, come up with a joint
30:23bucket list of something like that.
30:24That'd be nice.
30:26Somebody's got shared values, as adventurous in some degree.
30:30It's a bonus if they want to go on my motorbike.
30:36Ready to kickstart her love life is footballer Jan.
30:40But will Andy play ball?
30:43Taking up football at the age of 69 probably isn't what everybody does.
30:48I play central defence and the men have put my little emoji as the chopper.
30:57They reckon I kick their ankles.
30:59They're just babies.
31:01You're looking amazing.
31:03So do you.
31:04Thank you very much.
31:05A lot of people say a plummet challenge.
31:08I've got a spirit of adventure.
31:10I don't worry about going to Spain and playing football with somebody I don't know.
31:15Why wouldn't you do that?
31:17Come with me.
31:18I want someone with a bit of adventure and not routine.
31:23Oh, what a lovely table. Thank you.
31:25Hello.
31:26Nice to meet you.
31:27Hi.
31:28I cannot stand routine.
31:30I don't want to eat spaghetti bolognese every Monday.
31:33Enjoy your date.
31:34Have fun.
31:35I will.
31:36Sorry, what's your name?
31:37Jan.
31:38Jane?
31:39Jan.
31:39J-A-N.
31:41Jan.
31:42Okay.
31:42Andy.
31:43Short for Janet, but I hate that name.
31:45Okay, well, I'm short for Andrew, so only my mum calls me Andrew.
31:50I absolutely hate the name Janet.
31:52You do?
31:53Okay.
31:54I'll try not to call you Janet then, Jan.
31:58I wear hearing aids.
31:59I can turn you off if I want, so be careful.
32:02Well, I hope that doesn't happen.
32:07So, what kind of cultural things do you like to do?
32:09Well, obviously, theatre a lot.
32:10Yeah, yeah.
32:11But I play saxophone, so I play in a jazz band.
32:13Does that mean that you like jazz then?
32:15I do, yes.
32:16Yeah, I love blue notes from that period.
32:20Yeah, I absolutely love that.
32:21They love it.
32:22Yeah, obviously, they've matched us because we've got a lot in common
32:24in terms of academic background, that sort of thing.
32:27Yeah.
32:27Do I feel attracted to you?
32:29I think I do.
32:31You don't do flirting, do you?
32:32I don't.
32:33No, I have no idea.
32:34That's majorly important.
32:36Yes, I wouldn't know if someone was flirting with me.
32:39Yeah.
32:39Can you learn it?
32:43I feel like I'm a teenager.
32:45I've never done this.
32:46You know, and I'm nearly 70.
32:48You know, I'm starting again at this stage of life.
32:52I think it's about putting out feelers to sound out another person,
32:59but also to let them know how you feel, that you are interested in them.
33:04And it's not just, you know, two friends meeting for lunch or something like that.
33:08So it's also showing the other person that you're interested in them.
33:13We had a lot in common, but that's as far as it went.
33:18I can play you visual compliments. I like your hair and all that sort of thing.
33:22And that's all true. I do feel that.
33:23Do you like my hair?
33:25Yes, I do like your hair.
33:26Exactly.
33:28We seem to be on different parts of our dating journey.
33:31I like something that's a lot more flirty and sexy, and I didn't get any of that.
33:37Do you feel that you're cut off emotionally?
33:40Yes, I think I've lived in a sort of desert for a very long time.
33:43It sounds like it, yeah.
33:44I'm not quite sure how to connect properly.
33:46Yeah.
33:50I feel a bit like Paul in Wonderland, you know.
33:54Yeah.
33:54A bit out of my depth because I've so little experience in it.
33:57Yeah, yeah.
33:58You're trembling on the verge of something new.
34:02Yeah.
34:03Would you like to see chapter again?
34:08Well, Paul, I think you're a lovely guy.
34:10Thank you so much with Forget Me Nots.
34:12And thank you so much for the poem. I thought the poem was fantastic. It was so talented.
34:17But for me, no, there won't be another date, I'm afraid.
34:21No, I agree. We had a good time. I really enjoyed your company. I think you're very interesting.
34:25And we obviously share a lot in terms of our kind of backgrounds and so on.
34:29But I think we agreed we're not a dating couple.
34:33No.
34:34Thank you so much.
34:38Have a lovely evening.
34:38Thank you. Bye.
34:40I've just been told how to date by the headmistress.
34:43And surely it's not a headmistress job to tell you how to date.
34:47She was very nice, though, and she did it very nicely. I mean, she's a good headmistress, I think.
34:52I hope everything goes well for you.
34:54And for you.
34:55And thank you so much for everything and for paying for the meal.
34:59Thank you, Paul. Bye.
35:01Bye.
35:13There's a great line in Friends where Ross says to Phoebe, I think it is,
35:19When you go on a date, just do little bits of crazy. Don't give him it all in one go.
35:25All the crazy at once.
35:26So I started playing football.
35:28You play football?
35:30I know. It's insane.
35:31Well, I wasn't expecting that.
35:33I know.
35:34I go to Spain to play in tournaments.
35:37What little bit of crazy do I do?
35:39I play in a samba band.
35:41Brilliant. What instrument?
35:43I play a timba.
35:44OK.
35:45Which is a hand drum.
35:46And the other one, I play the big surdoos, big drums with sticks.
35:50Yes.
35:51Oh, wow.
35:51So how did you get into that?
35:53I'm absolutely useless at anything else, really.
35:55I can't.
35:56It's better than sitting at home watching daytime TV.
36:00I like to be looking and seeing and touching.
36:02Yes.
36:02Feeling and smelling things, you know.
36:05Oh, this is really nice.
36:06I'm so relieved.
36:08Yeah, absolutely.
36:11I love a man that has a special talent.
36:13I did want to actually show you something.
36:15Oh.
36:16I've actually brought it with me.
36:17Go on.
36:18The doctor's here.
36:19So, um, this is Diablo.
36:22Has this ever helped you pull?
36:24Um, so, I don't think it's helped me, no.
36:26Keeping you.
36:27Keeping you.
36:31How do you know when you're in love?
36:34How do you know?
36:35Yeah, how do you know when you're in love?
36:41Asking for a friend.
36:43Oh.
36:43Of course.
36:44In the way that, the way that I've been dating in the past, like, two years.
36:48I've loved a lot of things about a lot of people, but I don't think I've been in love.
36:51Oh.
36:53Oh.
36:54I've loved one of my mom.
36:54I've loved one of my mom.
36:54She's the role model for love that I have.
36:58She's truly taught me, like, the meaning of unconditional love.
37:01She had two young kids, but, like, she's done so much to help me.
37:06Dating energy comes in waves, right?
37:08Like, sometimes you'll be up for it, sometimes you're swiping, sometimes you're like, I hate this.
37:12And now, I'm looking for a husband.
37:18I have not introduced anybody to my mom because nobody has been marriage potential.
37:26What I actually want is, like, a lifelong partnership based off of love and commitment and connection
37:33and family and all that good stuff. That's what's important to me.
37:37So, have you been dating a lot recently?
37:42Erm...
37:43Please.
37:44No, I'm just trying to think, like, is it that...
37:46Oh, sorry, I was talking to the thing. It wouldn't stay on my fork.
37:49Oh, you talk to your food now. Good lord.
37:52I talk to everything.
37:55Please, tell me the answer. Go.
37:58Do you talk to yourself when you're alone?
38:01I talk to myself, like, non-stop.
38:04Do you have a voice in your head?
38:05Not do you hear voices.
38:07Do you have a voice in your head?
38:08Where are we?
38:10Oh.
38:12See, that's when you talk to your potato.
38:14That's a good time to have a word with it.
38:17Do I have voices in my head now?
38:19You don't.
38:20No, you don't.
38:22I'm mad.
38:23Yeah, see, I only found out, like, two years ago,
38:25that not everybody has a voice in their head.
38:30And it seems like you just found out now that people do.
38:44It's going pretty good.
38:47You know what you remind me of?
38:49You've seen this series on TV called One Day, and there is this...
38:52Oh!
38:52Yes.
38:53I love One Day.
38:54Well, you remind me of this couple in the series.
38:58Have you...
39:00You spat on Brad!
39:01Sorry.
39:04Wipe yourself down, please.
39:05Oh, no worries.
39:06It's fine.
39:08OK, go on.
39:09How many times have you been married?
39:10Married once.
39:11Oh, OK.
39:12I was married very young.
39:13I've got two kids, a boy and a girl.
39:15And then we got divorced after 12, 13 years, something like that.
39:20So have you been married, or...?
39:22Married twice.
39:22OK.
39:23Like you, married very young, lasted 13 years.
39:27OK.
39:28But the second time, it was short, short to speak, really.
39:32OK.
39:32Silly, really.
39:33I was pregnant, so we got married.
39:36Getting divorced was probably the best thing for me,
39:39because it gave me the impetus to do all sorts of amazing things.
39:43The whole experience was, at the time, painful,
39:47but ended up being the right thing.
39:50I made the decision, really, to concentrate on a career and the children.
39:55So I took a one-year-old and a seven-year-old and relocated to America,
40:01because I had that opportunity.
40:03What was your job?
40:04Sales research, really.
40:06It was a complicated business.
40:07I lived in America for 25-plus years and brought up two boys, so...
40:13Well done.
40:13It was wonderful, actually.
40:16I've never seen myself as a brave person.
40:19I think you just take some risks.
40:22Just having a great time, I'm sure.
40:24Yeah, they did, they did.
40:26If it makes you nervous, it's worth doing.
40:30Hello there.
40:31We have a sirloin steak for you.
40:34See you very much.
40:35Thank you very much.
40:36That looks lovely.
40:38Enjoy.
40:39So how old are your boys now, then?
40:41One is in his early 30s, one is in his late 20s.
40:47Now both of them are happily married, have their own homes and are settled.
40:53And now you think, well, actually, I don't need to be a mum anymore because they're fine.
40:59Now I have to plan the next bit of my life.
41:03I am fine on my own for long periods of time.
41:07It doesn't bother me.
41:09No.
41:09But the one time I have felt really lonely is when you go to, like, a family function.
41:16I do.
41:17And everybody's, and you're fine when you're there, but then at the end, everybody leaves
41:23in their couples and gets in their car and you think, I'm on my own again.
41:29Yeah.
41:37Tell me, do you, do you know what your attachment style is?
41:43Anxious, secure or avoidant?
41:45I don't know.
41:46If you have an anxious attachment style, you might be looking for more communication
41:51in relation to, like, figuring out what a relationship is.
41:54And if you have an avoidant style, you run away from conflict.
42:00Yeah, I don't know.
42:01I haven't really looked into that.
42:04I feel like I could learn a lot.
42:08Do you want to see each other, okay?
42:11Do you want to go first, shall I?
42:13If you want.
42:17I'd be very happy to see you again.
42:21I, I, I don't think romantically.
42:27However, as a person, as a friend, as a, as a, someone who values a lot of things I believe
42:35in us, I just don't think there was that kind of connection with us.
42:38Mm-hmm.
42:39So have we decided what we'd like to do about the bill?
42:41She has all of it.
42:42No, I'm joking.
42:43I'll take it.
42:44I'll take it.
42:44Great.
42:44So all for you.
42:45Are you sure?
42:46Yeah, ma'am.
42:47I think he was probably, do I say too intelligent for me?
42:51I felt like I learned a lot in space, so that we were there.
42:54Oh, no way.
42:56I was just a bit like, what?
42:58Up to you.
42:59Ah.
43:00But, come down to a disco any time.
43:03Free engine.
43:04And it was nice meeting you.
43:06Yeah, I had a lovely time.
43:08Yeah, I'd love to hear you DJ sometime.
43:10Yeah, come on.
43:10Sorry.
43:11Yeah.
43:11All right.
43:12I'm this way.
43:14See you later.
43:16Take care.
43:16Bye.
43:17Uh.
43:22These are really good martinis, I have to say now.
43:25Live dangerously, Jo.
43:27Live dangerously.
43:29That is a yes table.
43:31Look at them.
43:32And if it's not, I owe you tenner.
43:34I believe you.
43:35I don't need the tenner.
43:36I'm with you.
43:37I've been away for three weeks.
43:39Where were you?
43:40Mali.
43:41I actually did New Zealand and also Cook Island.
43:46Which was lovely, but it was a bit weird,
43:49because it's a very romantic place.
43:53And I had this lovely room.
43:55Yeah, honeymoon suite.
43:57You know, with all these romantic couples around me,
44:00I thought, I feel a bit weird.
44:02It's always nice to share that with somebody,
44:04because it's much more fun if you're as a couple.
44:07I tend not to go out at night.
44:09Yes.
44:10That's what's kind of missing.
44:12You look lovely, by the way.
44:15It's been a lovely first day.
44:16It's been great.
44:19Oh, are you?
44:19Oh, yeah.
44:20OK.
44:20You all right?
44:21Yes, thank you.
44:22Good to see you again.
44:25Well, I have a motorbike.
44:27I had a Kawasaki at one point.
44:30I'm happily set on the back, but not actually doing the driving.
44:33OK, well...
44:34I'm too dangerous doing the driving.
44:35I've got space for a pillion.
44:39Would you like to see each other, OK?
44:42You first?
44:43No, you could go first.
44:45Gone.
44:46Yes.
44:47Oh, absolutely, yes.
44:49Yes.
44:53No, no, no.
44:54Do you want to do 50-50?
44:56Because I have my cards.
44:57Do you want to be short or a long answer?
44:58I'm happy to do half a round.
45:00No, thank you.
45:01I'm paying.
45:02When we first started talking, it was easy.
45:05It was good.
45:06Yeah.
45:06Yeah, I just remember it as being smooth.
45:09From the beginning.
45:10I loved it.
45:11Thank you very much.
45:13Have a good evening.
45:14That was lovely.
45:15Great.
45:15You're welcome.
45:16Yeah, some of the things we want to do.
45:18It's almost identical.
45:19It would be lovely to do it with somebody else instead of doing it solo.
45:23I'm smiling.
45:25Would you like to go for a drink now?
45:27I would love to go for a drink now.
45:28And then we'll talk about another day later.
45:31Absolutely.