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We deliver full episodes of top drama series across romance, thriller, mystery, crime, and emotional storytelling. From Turkish dramas and Asian series to global hits, our content is carefully selected to match what audiences are searching for right now.
SeriesVerse Global specializes in multi-language subtitles, including English Sub, Español Sub, and Arabic Sub, helping viewers from all over the world enjoy their favorite shows without language barriers.
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TVTranscript
00:02we finished the staircase frame a couple hours ago fiber optics in process
00:05terrific we ordered the oak floors that you like oh good wonderful but there is a matter
00:10uh we should discuss what um i don't really want to say this since you threw paint in my truck
00:15when
00:15i got the banisters wrong well suggesting anything other than rose gold was demented
00:19totally um but the building's gonna be more work than we discussed what are we talking well the
00:23electrical's not up to code the hvac needs to be completely gutted the estimates on the theater
00:28are skyrocketing because of the custom lighting and the pyrotechnic capabilities well a vegas show
00:32without pyrotechnics is like a lap dance in broad daylight i won't be caught dead doing it all in
00:36all we're looking at an additional 20 million dollars to get the diva operational and that's
00:39just a conservative estimate oh god just to say it it would save us a ton if we didn't have
00:44the debra statue well how are people supposed to make an entrance if not between my legs
00:50where's the joy the the whimsy where's the the wow factor the wow factor well i mean people love
00:56this design the underwear mirror for upskirt selfies will be a destination in and of itself
01:00it's just that it just seems technically unnecessary unnecessary is there a gas leak in here
01:05actually there is and that's probably gonna cost oh my god okay okay okay maybe if we book a
01:11headliner we can use some of the advanced ticket sales to fund this okay i'll get on that you try
01:17to find an outside investor is now a bad time to discuss why we can't convert a chlorine pool to
01:22pink champagne yes yes ma'am he's into me
01:36so what happened what happened i took our room you didn't hear this from me but she had the best
01:40night of her life no no it's depper could you give me one second well so you shouldn't be talking
01:46to me about this stuff why not hello hi i need your help we're building that state-of-the-art
01:50theater at the diva and we need a comic for a residency who can bring in a ton of pre
01:54-sales
01:54do you know of anyone deborah you know you don't have to fish for compliments with me
01:57as kayla would say you are the number one living legend and you would slay the boots down on the
02:01diva chiquita banana it should be you you should do it no no no no no my residency days are
02:06behind
02:06me oh uh do you know bruno fox is he related to red fox i don't think so because one
02:11is black and one
02:12is white but you know what i never assume you don't know what their mom was doing okay anyway
02:15he's like a super popular podcaster in stand-up he's got a huge following um oh he does those
02:20travelocity ads but i actually find quite funny i don't even hits get bad oh that guy oh he'd be
02:25good can you get him uh yeah yeah i can get him great let me know
02:34this is so weird to be back here well she already took down the pictures i put up
02:39we've been gone for over two years also why would she keep up pictures of you and your college friends
02:43because we're hot and fun well look what the cat farted in let's suck and creeper
02:49you too poor cat great to see you guys if you're looking to poach clients there's a dial at the
02:54center right down the street oh my goodness wow that's really funny so look i'm gonna keep this
02:59brief please we have an opportunity for one of your clients as you may have heard deborah vance is
03:03opening a casino hotel in downtown vegas and we would like bruno fox to be the very first comic in
03:08residence wow wow bruno he has a lot of balls in the air right now this is a huge opportunity
03:15for
03:15stand-up right i mean you know that vegas residency means a steady paycheck shows every night of the
03:19week a lot more money than you make on the road oh yeah yeah well you know i'll try to
03:23remember to
03:24mention it to him the next time i talk to him yeah let's see what he says yeah yeah the
03:27next time you
03:27talk to him could be right now if you just no i'm not oh we'd love to but we gotta
03:30go right now
03:30because we've got massages the kind where you come together you're gonna go yes are you serious
03:35are you really gonna walk out and just later dildos oh my god i know they're gonna present
03:40this to bruno like it's a total waste of time just to fuck with us so sadistic reminds me of
03:43how i used to treat this one girl my summer camp so mean you know what fuck them we are
03:48gonna go
03:49to bruno ourselves and present this offer directly hell yeah i knew you had that dog in you all right
03:54here we go he's performing this weekend in kalamazoo michigan we are going central time
04:05to be asked to be a food tester dream come true well it's perfect i mean you have flyover state
04:10taste and josefina has the most refined palate of anyone i've ever met pistachio cream in an entree
04:15i'm feeling crazy for this so what if we like this chef's food you guys are gonna just poach in
04:20for
04:20marty yep damn nice cold rice is hot though well it's not personal it's just business oh excuse me
04:28i love a little crunch big sleigh oh deborah i've been working on the opening joke so what about
04:33this um hello madison square garden i've been silenced for 18 months to let me finally say this
04:37big pants only look good if you're tall i don't want to talk about pants i can't believe we can't
04:43hear this opener no i know i think we have writer's block we gotta get some new energy going
04:47you know we could try cold plunging helps joe rogan helps him do what right good point so i put
04:53out some feelers to some friends in the vc world about funding for the diva that was graham sweeney's
04:57office he's a young tech developer big portfolio he immediately responded and wants to fly in to
05:01meet with you oh great and he asked for ava to come to what me why oh my god do
05:09you think this is
05:10like an indecent proposal situation where he'll only give you the millions if he has one fabulous night
05:13with miss ava daniels millions please he could get you with a donation to greenpeace and some
05:18combat boots that's true no one is asking you to have sex but these vc guys are freaky and we
05:25need
05:25the money so if he asks to eat sushi off you you know play ball all right fine i'll go
05:30but i'm telling
05:31you if there's a philadelphia roll in my titty i'm eating that shit marcus set up a meeting and you
05:35after this i'm taking you to a parking lot to practice walking in high heels
05:40now that is a crispy skin
05:50so i come out of the men's room and i see a trans guy standing there waiting right
05:54i look him at his eyes i say bro i do not mean this like it sounds but do not
05:59go in there
06:05let's go get this son of a bitch
06:12bruna fox yo can we come in
06:15okay bonjour this is my partner kayla schaefer how you doing pleasure um sorry to accost you right
06:21after your set which was amazing by the way so funny we can stop smiling and laughing thank you but
06:25we
06:25have a very attractive offer for you i mean if it's a cuck thing maybe but i'm pretty much retired
06:30from gay stuff oh it's not a cuck thing no no we're managers from l.a schaefer and lusack we
06:35represent
06:35deborah vance among others um and we just want to talk to you about a stand-up opportunity that
06:39we think you might like look man sorry but when i'm off stage i can't be about to work anymore
06:44you
06:44know okay okay um i am down to go out don't want to party um i'm 100 down for that
06:52okay yeah let's do it
06:54what do you think then i mean there's a little bar down the street called cokey's do we need a
06:58reservation for cokey's no but we do need someone to drive can you all drive us we got a subaru
07:02we
07:03rented so let's do it music to my ears the car play doesn't work but that's all right because i'll
07:06just sing for us hope you like nelly frittato kidding me i'm a nelly boy okay let's get some beers
07:10for the ride though right um
07:18hi hello good evening right this way i'll go get mr sweeney what did she say this dress is so
07:25tight
07:25i can't hear in it also does not leave room for underwear i think that bush is leaving an invitation
07:29well well well deborah vance in the flesh this is such an honor i'm graham sweeney graham good to meet
07:34you likewise and ava hey what's going on hi i'm so psyched you could come too i'm a huge fan
07:41of
07:41both of you thank you so i guess you're probably wondering why i wanted to meet with you well no
07:46i'm never surprised when a man's interested in meeting me i bet you're not um well would you mind
07:51if i do a little presentation sure okay please come set me right
07:57land will be right out with some drinks she makes a bomb martini
08:01grab a seat please all right now you ladies comfortable not really okay first a little bit
08:08about me i got my start streamlining the way hospitals buy and receive medical tubing oh i used
08:14to sell a cat themed blood pressure monitor see so you get it genius so now that i've conquered the
08:19healthcare industry it's time for me to move into my next venture which is an llm generative
08:23ai model i'm calling quick scribble ah it's an ai chat bot that helps people sound like the
08:31most optimized funniest smartest version of themselves it's like photoshopping your voice
08:35for anybody who's looking to punch up the way that they speak or write or make jokes this will help
08:41okay take for example a bridesmaid at a wedding she wants to make a funny toast but she's a bank
08:47teller sorry so when you say she you mean an ai person that you invented that i've prompted yes
08:53cool let's see how she does sarah's always loved to have fun maybe a little too much fun if you
09:00know
09:00what i mean sex now that sucks shit right yeah but what if she had had help crafting that toast
09:09by
09:09none other than comedy goddess deborah vance love her it might sound a little something like this
09:15according to the talmud every bride is beautiful on her wedding day the talmud is of course the drag
09:22queen who did sarah's cheek contouring today boom goes the dynamite even grandpa's deaf ass is laughing
09:27at that one not bad yeah it does sound like me yeah so um how did you train it to
09:34sound like deborah
09:35already well by scraping material it's online oh so they stole it technically right now it's not
09:40regulated and that's why i've come to you i want to compensate you and i don't just want what's
09:44online i want the real deborah vance oh well then you should have met me three noses ago
09:49well they nailed it it's a sexy ass nose now look i want your full library and for you to
09:55work with
09:55the ai itself training it yeah can i ask um why us because deborah has the perfect voice for quick
10:02scribble i mean you have such mass appeal that's why you have the number one late night show in
10:06america you tell it like it is but in a funny way and that's how everybody wants to be well
10:11this does
10:11kind of prove my long-standing theory that my way is best and everyone else is wrong
10:16exactly see i want that and when i heard that you were looking for investment in your casino i was
10:20like well this is the coolest opportunity for us to partner up so ladies should we talk about the
10:25nuts and bolts let's yeah okay so we've got three blocks it is getting so late we got to bring
10:32up the
10:32residency as soon as he gets back because i don't know how much longer i can stay out come on
10:36in you
10:36stayed up all night for the fiona apple pre-sale you can do it tonight she never goes on tour
10:40it was
10:40either wheel it was a big thing for me all right hey there he is we get another round please
10:44wow another round indeed i haven't drank as much since i rushed you were in a frat no almost i
10:50wouldn't fuck the goat and i reported them to the dean but you know what i'm proud of that because
10:53it led to much healthier rush policies on campus that's just the kind of guy he is he would never
10:57fuck any animals no one okay anyway so listen deborah vance um is opening a casino in las vegas and
11:03they're looking for a comedian to do a residency and we think that comedian should be you
11:09a vegas residency that's right huh thank you i can get off the road finally that could be a good
11:16thing for me bruno vegas come on i mean raw seafood bars as far as the eye can see strip
11:22clubs on every
11:23block i mean it's the promised land for guys like us this is probably the tequila talking but yeah
11:29i'm in yeah okay amazing we are doing it huh come on all right come on all right so listen
11:35we're
11:36gonna head back to la tomorrow but we'll be in touch with details well you can't leave we can't no
11:41i
11:41have another show tomorrow night come on we gotta go out afterwards celebrate get drinks
11:45oh well look if we're gonna work together i need to get to know you guys we got a bond
11:50you know
11:50stay stay please okay okay all right yes now one question who's getting the bag
11:59oh cocaine um i just i was really looking forward to reading before bed your question i already got it
12:05oh my gosh okay fine i can only do two lines you have given me so much to think about
12:11this is
12:11really really interesting fantastic pitch yeah i have a couple questions i mean look ava i know
12:17how much you've contributed to deborah's recent material so if i want to accurately capture her
12:21true voice i need you involved okay so when we hand over the material you can ensure that it's just
12:26going to be used for bridesmaid speeches and not to make like hitler seem young and funny to
12:29red-pilled dark web gooners well we're not in the business of censoring our customers
12:35right don't try to argue with her you'll get nowhere next thing you know you'll have donated
12:39ten thousand dollars to some barista's top surgery i don't know what happened to the term
12:43boob job that's what they called it when i had one ava ai is here and it's here to stay
12:47so you
12:48either get on board or you get left in the past see that is a big part of why i
12:52hate it this this
12:53forced inevitability people like you are always saying that it's happening whether you like it or
12:57not but you're the ones making it happen okay and you could easily stop it if people could say
13:02that they didn't want it but you don't want to give people a choice so you just say oh the
13:05train's
13:06already on the tracks and you don't let people decide for themselves i'm sorry it is technological
13:09r-a-p-e rape you said it not me oh okay okay let's let's all just take a breath
13:14i wish i could
13:15take a breath i'm strapped down in this motherfucker i can't breathe in here deborah now why should we
13:19believe that this app is this amazing thing that is going to change the world obviously you want us
13:23to believe that because you stand to profit from it so of course you're going to tell us that it's
13:26happening no matter what and it's inevitable okay oh my god this is exactly like when like a
13:30random ass diner puts a sign out front that's like best waffles in america and it's like yeah
13:33according to who the people trying to sell the fucking waffles i'm not trying to sell you bad
13:37waffles trust well yet again she's managed to bring waffles into the conversation okay less to think
13:42about here graham yeah thanks so much i'll uh i'll give it a thought i'll talk to my people thanks
14:01i hate this place it smells like an old bicycle seat it's not that bad and we needed to save
14:05money
14:06so let's just try and go to sleep i just normally sleep naked well sorry but tonight you're not sleeping
14:11naked okay okay jimmy what is going on over there it's so itchy my clothes are making me itchy okay
14:25you can take off your clothes underneath the covers but then in the morning you're putting them back
14:29on under the covers okay yay take off my lady boxers okay i don't need to play by play just
14:36do your thing
14:40why are you taking them off like that that's how i always take them off i'm disrobing you do this
14:44alone what yes hello i've been waiting for you down in my office oh god can we crack a window
14:56it smells like king tootin common's tomb in here sorry i just i got distracted researching the ethics
15:01of ai turns out really bad yeah well everything's unethical if you think about it too much as my
15:06manicurist says can you changing then don't think about oh my god oh you want me to whitewash my
15:11manicurist people have accents okay i'm just gonna move past that one look before you meet with this
15:16guy again you should know that large language models like quick scribble are really really bad
15:19for the environment it's an app everyone uses apps aren't all apps bad for the environment yes but
15:24ai uses servers that need 15 times more energy and they build them in poor communities look at this
15:28in memphis an ai plant is stealing all the fresh water and blasting the air with nitrogen oxides
15:33i see and how much energy are you using keeping 400 tabs open on your browser see i can play
15:39this
15:39game too deborah no come on i sold my malaysian palm oil farm can i have this no i am
15:46lending my name
15:47and my expertise to a program that is going to make people's lives easier what about the economy
15:52okay i know you care about that i mean ai has already destroyed massive sectors of the workforce
15:57yeah well you know if your job is replaceable let it be replaced i'm sorry that's how the market
16:01works oh my god okay well what about me ai is absolutely going to take away jobs from writers
16:05it already has not if you're good if you're good you can't be replaced did you know that in the
16:0980s there was a woman in miami who would do my entire set verbatim and honestly before my lift
16:15she might have looked better than me too but she couldn't recreate my stage presence and neither
16:19can a computer you're missing the point okay maybe you will be fine but there are a ton of people
16:24who won't be okay this is causing a cataclysmic reshaping of our society that's going to doom us
16:28honey please please it's nine a.m okay well i'm sorry i i cannot in good conscience participate in
16:33this so if you use any of my work i will sue you on what grounds the one cool thing
16:38about the american
16:38legal system is that i can sue you even if i have no legal standing i learned that from you
16:44okay fine i will just do this deal with material i've written without you now can we please stop talking
16:50about this and go downstairs and work no i'm gonna go outside and look at a tree maybe you could
16:56teach
16:56your toaster to paint
17:06if you were a letter what letter would you be
17:09hey you would definitely be an us unpredictable all right and there we go three long-handed ice
17:14tea oh no thank you but long islands make me horny what they make you horny no okay how would
17:20you
17:20even know that everybody at tennis camp knew that you were trying to dance with everyone okay we all
17:24talked about it but it's on now that's awesome okay cheers to us cheers indeed okay bruno i think we
17:29need to talk about the specifics of the divalicious residency resident residents see what is your earliest
17:37availability and maybe we could talk about um an on-sale date we can get your poster done guys guys
17:41guys guys
17:42you're making me like nervous all right like no don't be nervous come on man what is that voice
17:47don't be nervous i don't want to talk business it's boring i want to have fun okay let's play a
17:52drinking game get to know each other better get a little bit more comfortable i'm up for a drinking
17:56game at all times what do you got so me and my besties play a game where you go around
18:00in a circle
18:00and you say the worst thing that you've ever done and if your worst thing is worse than theirs you
18:05gotta take
18:07jimmy you go first oh no let's play flip do it do it do it okay okay okay okay this
18:13is actually bad
18:15um we got a pr box of free sephora products for a client and i took them back to sephora
18:21and
18:21returned them for store credit no i know i know i know i know i've been carrying that around it's
18:26it's not how i normally am but i was just out of this beard lube i have this particular kind
18:29of
18:29cream that i shave with and i needed to get it okay so bruno your turn yeah no i'm good
18:34i'm good oh come
18:35on i just told my sephora thing so now i kind of feel weird okay fine i'll go i'll go
18:38okay the
18:40worst thing every day was i poked holes in my dad's condoms because i wanted a sister and then he
18:45used
18:45those condoms with his mistress and got her pregnant and she wanted to keep it but i ended up being
18:49a
18:49boy so now we have like a creepy half-brother who no one talks to at events oh i really
18:53love robert i
18:53try to make him feel welcome whenever i see him he stinks okay bruno now that you know the rules
18:57your turn
18:58what's the worst thing you've ever done it was six years ago this coming august
19:06what was i was leaving my exes and we just got into one of these fights that we would get
19:11into all the
19:12time where we were just saying awful fucking shit to each other man just trying our hardest to hurt one
19:19i was driving i was so pissed off and i couldn't see straight and he was just there he was
19:28just
19:28suddenly there out of nowhere and i slammed on the brakes i slammed on the brakes and it was too
19:32late
19:32it was too late
19:38that sound that sound i can hear it all the time i hear it when i try to sleep it's
19:43like it haunts me
19:47he was dead
19:51and what would driving into the hospital have done he was gone so i just drove and drove
19:56he's got to turn yourself in what bruno think about the family that poor family but they need
20:07closure bruno you can't keep living like this okay it's eating you alive you're killing yourself look
20:12at you you're on the road all the time you're drinking way too much you're self-medicating you're
20:16totally scaring us you never want to talk about work it's weird the only way through is out
20:20you've got to turn yourself in brother
20:24you're right i can't live this fucking lie anymore
20:28fuck man i'll call my mom i guess yeah
20:35hello i am kayla shaffer and i am reporting a murder that my friend did
20:49you
20:50grand hello hey come on hello gorgeous oh nice to see you again
20:56you hungry you want a uh piggy oh i think i'll pass okay hey uh thanks for meeting me here
21:02yeah yeah you're a big uh soccer fan yeah i'm that french team right there in the blue unis
21:08i'd be there right now but it's a lot more important to me to lock down this deal with you
21:13well i'll tell you what once my casino is open i'll make sure you have your own seat at the
21:17diva's
21:17sportsbook lounge okay so you're in my lawyers looked over the terms and they gave it to you okay
21:23ah yes eulogies everywhere just got a whole lot fucking funnier you are gonna make so many people
21:29funny oh well and i bet pretty soon you're gonna be using it to write your own material
21:34oh well i doubt that well you are because it's gonna be so good you're gonna want to
21:38no i don't think so yes you will because everyone's gonna be using it so if you want
21:44to keep up with the other comedians you're gonna have to but i want to write the jokes
21:47i like doing the work so you're telling me that if you got stuck on a punch line and you
21:51had a tool
21:51at your disposal to help you with that you wouldn't use it absolutely not there's no shortcut yep but
21:56here's the thing there is i created it you're welcome well okay fine yes there is but using
22:03that shortcut then makes it something else it makes it not art um i'm sorry but your joke about laser
22:08hair
22:08removal is art okay you're right it's pretentious to call it art but that laser hair removal joke is
22:16something i arrived at after trying a million other versions every time that joke didn't work
22:20not only did i make it better but it made me a comedian because to become one you have to
22:24do it
22:24and fail and do it and fail over and over and over until you figure out who you are lady
22:29stop squawking
22:30at me all i'm trying to do is make your life easier but it shouldn't be why are you trying
22:37to optimize
22:37the creative process i mean that's one of the things we've actually figured out we're good there
22:40you know we have been ever since cavemen told stories about bears i mean fix the ozone come up with
22:44a
22:45cure for cancer oh my god cancer again look it sounds a little bit like you don't really respect
22:49quick scribble i respect your business acumen i do i do but art is only art because the humanity
22:53behind it plenty of artists are already using it well fine that's a right doesn't mean i have to
22:57respect them oh excuse me i didn't know shakespeare had a beehive oh okay that was good that was good
23:05see you came up with that all by yourself aren't you proud yeah this is clearly not going to work
23:11yeah
23:11take care guess not okay you take care too you know what lady i can get any comic i want
23:16to train
23:16my ai kill tony said he'd do it for free yeah you do that by the way one of your
23:21guys just scored an
23:26goal what just watch the game come on what are you doing out here
23:41listening to the crickets while i write watching the stars communing with nature you know while i still can
23:51get your blood money and no i decided against it very serious yes yes whoo score one for the good
24:03guys i am so glad i got through to you no no this was an amoral decision based on a
24:08nerd being a loser
24:09to me if you say so please this was not all you if i was that susceptible to your influence
24:15i would
24:16have become a communist the moment you first darkened my doorstep whatever oh god
24:23all right now that's behind us let's see if we can tackle the real existential problem of our time
24:29this goddamn opening joke oh yeah i've been uh been working on a couple things check that out
24:40okay guess i didn't figure it out well no but that's okay we will or we won't but at least
24:48it'll
24:48be on us hell yeah i gotta be honest i haven't written anything in like 30 minutes i accidentally
24:56dropped my pen in the pond but i've been thinking
25:06house keeping
25:15oh my god why are you oh wait oh my god where are my clothes where are my clothes i'm
25:20sorry did we have
25:21sex no then why am i naked oh my god did kayla and i have sex who's kayla my partner
25:26then wouldn't
25:27be okay if you had sex no she's my business partner this is a work trip what is going on
25:32did
25:32you guys have sex no okay well he's naked you gotta give him privacy oh come on it's so weird
25:39what
25:39was it up for this hotel kayla what happened last night well we convinced bruno to turn himself in
25:45after a hit and run that was crazy god fuck that's right and then what and then the last long
25:50island
25:50really got you you could barely walk it's kind of sweet seeing you so vulnerable like that
25:55then we found out that the hotel has bed bugs bed bugs oh oh i know i i was like
26:00bed bugs are real
26:01we freaked out we burned all our clothes you burned our clothes we burned our clothes you were the one
26:07that lit the first match honey why did you let me sleep here if there are bed bugs let you
26:10i don't
26:11let you do anything i'm not in charge of anyone's actions but my own i am really getting it oh
26:17my god
26:18no wonder you were so itchy of course there were bed bugs anyways i got us new clothes at sassafras
26:22what the fuck is sassafras it's a teen clothing store for girls it's the only place that was open
26:27but they have some really cute stuff in there it's also so important for girls in the community to have
26:31a place they can go get cute stuff that doesn't sexualize them i don't care good for them you should
26:36care i talked to mandy about it who the fuck is mandy and why are we talking about her the
26:39owner of
26:39sassafras she has a small business owner and you just yelled about her okay i'm sure she's lovely i just
26:44want to get dressed this is highly inappropriate kayla here here here's your clothes put it on
26:50last time i ever help you with anything just kidding hurry up we're gonna miss the flight
26:55oh my god are you sure we're walking the right way i think so where the f is it i
27:05swear i parked here
27:05we've been walking forever and these stupid sugar floaties are giving me horrible blisters get over it
27:09you look good oh no it's deborah i'm gonna have to tell her about bruno hey hey i know you've
27:18been
27:18working on getting us bruno fox for the diva but i've changed my mind oh no why we're scaling way
27:24back
27:25i selflessly have given up on the idea of erecting a giant statue of myself it's a tragedy jimmy you
27:30should have seen the breasts and we are scrapping the whole idea of a big theater entirely instead it's
27:35going to be a proper comedy club you know intimate old school you know a place where emerging comics
27:40have a chance to hone their voices i actually think that's really cool great well i hope you didn't
27:45go to any trouble oh no no trouble at all okay let's talk soon bye well she doesn't want bruno
27:52so i
27:52guess we got bed bugs for nothing oh i think that's it oh thank god my car hey wait wait
28:00wait we pay for
28:01parking wait daddy what the hell my god have you no dignity cover up uh i am covered it's a
28:08full
28:08blouse i'm talking to jimmy you look like two hannah montanas hannah montana was two people you
28:13fucking moron we got bed bugs and we had to go to sassafras what about the chokers they complete the
28:18look apparently they complete the look i'm taking your porsche back kayla what you can't take back
28:23a 31st birthday gift you crazy psycho see i heard what you did you talk bruno into turning himself in
28:28why didn't you just leverage it offer to keep his secret if he did your stupid fucking residency
28:33it's about closure for the family well losing your car is just the beginning kayla you see our
28:39most valuable asset it's not our money it is the schaefer family name and you are sullying it whatever
28:44who cares i'm not paying for your bullshit anymore your trust fund's gone wait what and say goodbye to
28:51your fancy office good luck running your pathetic fucking company now let's go
29:07madison square garden please welcome to the stage debra fans
29:22hi
29:25you honky ass oh we want our money back
29:29you're not funny
29:55what's going on you okay yeah yeah i think so
30:00oh why do you have a bat i thought the proletariat was rising up and giving you what you deserved
30:04and
30:04i was going to decide what side i was on when i got here no it was a dream it
30:08was a nightmare i was
30:09on stage wait i thought we weren't allowed to talk about our dreams no there's a rule that you're not
30:13allowed to talk about your dreams okay so there i was i was at madison square garden i was on
30:17the stage
30:17i looked down i am completely naked i i look out in the audience and everyone everyone is my sister
30:24and
30:24she kind of laughs and then my teeth started falling out okay that's clearly an anxiety dream you're just
30:30stressed about the garden it's okay we just need to keep working on the material i know your outfit no
30:34i said material i know i need to start picking up fabrics i gotta talk to my stylist i mean
30:38that's
30:39why i was naked you know although i looked incredible okay yeah all right i'm gonna call my stylist
30:46put together some walks all right good night oh jesus christ okay do you have any clonopin up here
30:52my heart is racing like a jackrabbit
30:57incredible
31:04every day it's getting closer going faster than a roller coaster love like yours will surely come
31:15fuck who the fuck are you on a drive
31:25fuck oh fuck my boba
31:38hey can you come pick me up i'm at the urgent care in diamond point you okay yeah i'm fine
31:43it's just a
31:43uh hairline fracture i got hit by one of those self-driving cars you know we never got to vote
31:48on that they just started showing up i would have voted no anyway they um they asked if i could
31:54uh have someone pick me up in case i take the vicodin they gave me which i definitely already did
31:57so oh honey i can't i i'm i'm i'm in miraval in arizona in fact i'm in a towel i'm
32:04about to step
32:04into the sauna what yeah we're trying to poach their spa director for the new casino
32:08so you know damien and i made a quick trip oh okay all right never mind hey i could send
32:13dj
32:14but just a warning she might take a while you know she's only comfortable making right terms it's okay
32:18it's okay i'm getting another call i'll figure it out okay bye meryl marco what is up are you in
32:24la
32:24no uh why i just saw deborah run a red light in beverly hills about two minutes ago and i
32:29was hoping
32:29maybe you were here well uh deborah's not in beverly hills i literally just talked to her she's in arizona
32:34so that was definitely her blonde beehive hairdo rolls royce with a diva plate listen uh remember
32:39the last time i saw you i loaned you my umbrella would you send it to me but only dhl
32:44i don't know
32:44what is going on with the post office at this point and don't get me started on fedex copy that
32:48no
32:49problem i'll send it your way well it's nice to hear from you you good not really bye okay
33:01good morning oh hi oh how's your arm that's fine uh how was miraville oh orgasmic really
33:10diana is here oh good good send her in you're psychic no no i had to bring in the big
33:16guns to
33:16help me decide what to wear at msg my stylists were a flopperino yeah die oh look at you you
33:23look like a
33:23million bucks hey thank you so much for coming we're gonna get you a nice outfit okay aha the six
33:30of cups we are going into the past deb vintage oh i've been thinking new it should be old oh
33:36i'm
33:37getting a vision here she goes you're wearing white deb and you look like an angel white dress okay new
33:46slaps and sparkles up the wazoo oh my god does it have a white chiffon beaded top
33:57yes oh my god that that is carol burnett's look from her final show this is perfect i mean not
34:03only is it a piece of comedy history i'll be referencing one of my heroes is this yeah that's
34:07it echo that is the exact thing i saw yes yes god i'm good so you want me to track
34:12it down no no need
34:13all of carol's looks were designed by bob mackie shake call bob m hello bobby it's deb sorry for
34:23the cold call i mean you know how i'm doing the garden later this year yeah i need a jumpsuit
34:27yep
34:27if i do something for you i gotta do something for share then the next thing you know sabrina
34:32carpenter is outside my door with a sewing machine and a gun i don't need a new design do you
34:36remember
34:36carol's white look from her final episode of course i i had it for years but i donated it to
34:42a charity
34:42auction do you remember who won it it was actually one of your fellow stand-up comics but i shouldn't
34:47say who rosie o'donnell no rita rudner no kelly kilpatrick i couldn't say oh yeah i heard kelly
34:55fucking kilpatrick that stupid hates me i've never know why um you were pretty mean to her after she
35:02came out of the vmas i believe the exact quote was she should go back into the closet and pick
35:07something
35:07else okay fine just you know it's probably where the weird energy started we'll just have to win her
35:14over damien book my apology booth at spago's oh by the way i had a client who paid me in
35:21salami
35:21do you guys want some i think it's pretty good it smells good
35:31hey should we have mimosas and be bad what do you want deb i just wanted to clear the air
35:38from
35:38when you called my daytime show oprah for racists i didn't say that oh you did you also said kelly's
35:44show is like if the l word stood for lame well what i should have said was you're like if
35:49the l
35:49words stood for lovely uh-huh so you're doing the garden hope they have enough wheelchair ramps
35:58for your fans or just cut out the middleman live streaming directly into hospices oh kelly you
36:06you you still got it deborah i'm so sorry to interrupt i'm a huge fan uh but someone left their
36:15phone in the car again i thought it was in my bag sorry kelly this is ava ava kelly hi
36:20nice to meet
36:21you i'm sure you get this all the time but when you guys started as lieutenant lavandra pax on star
36:24trek the next generation it was like the first time i actually saw myself on screen well that's
36:28not the first time i've heard that but i i thank you oh my god deborah is that coffee it's
36:33decaf is it no
36:36you know if you have caffeine this late you won't sleep and if you don't sleep i don't sleep she
36:40has
36:40been having the worst nightmares and then i wake up and i can't get back to sleep and i get
36:44the night sweats
36:44anyway but i've never been able to sleep completely nude because you know pajama pants give me really
36:49bad rash honey honey we're about to eat sorry really nice to meet you
37:01what i should have known i am so sorry that's okay for for no wonder you've been so bitter and
37:12frustrated and jealous all these years it is so obvious what's so obvious that you're gay
37:18i'm
37:23okay damn i'm so sorry that i didn't realize sooner and you know what that's on me
37:28because it must have been so hard for you watching me live my truth out and proud
37:32but look if you don't want to talk about it here i get it right hey what are you doing
37:38this weekend
37:39i i i i don't know um why well why don't you come up to our place in montecito for
37:43the weekend and
37:44we'll catch up huh we'll really talk and bring your girlfriend she is adorable oh
37:53we're there oh hey let's get those mimosas yeah i need one
38:00by the way who'd a wife um her name is monica she's younger uh you'd think she was a gold
38:05digger
38:05but now apparently she has family money all right wonder bread oh
38:22is that damien again yeah okay i'm not trying to be annoying but i feel like you're hiding
38:27something from me i don't know what you're talking about you're being paranoid okay well
38:32meryl marco said she saw you in beverly hills when you told me you were at mirrorball so
38:36well meryl was confused and i'm not being dishonest okay oh by the way kelly kilpatrick
38:42thinks i'm gay and you're my secret wife so we have to spend the weekend pretending to be
38:45lesbian lovers so i can get that carol burnett jumpsuit what welcome girls who's ready for a
38:51naughty little weekend me come and this is the living room oh wow kelly this is absolutely beautiful
39:00that's stunning no thanks hi hi oh gosh hi hi welcome lovebirds we're so excited to have you
39:11girls staying with us deb eva this is my muse my treasure and thanks to the ontario government
39:17since 2013 2013 my wife deborah come here oh deborah enchanté merci cashier it's so nice and you
39:29must be ava guilty hi wow you smell so good and uh beautiful posture oh thank you once a ballerina
39:39always a ballerina darren aronofsky dedicated black salon to me that was messy well let me let me show
39:47you to your room this way okay i know it's a hike but it's worth it sure the cream room
39:55it's lovely
39:56well good you enjoy yourselves girls and if you need anything just holler thank you absolutely
40:01mm-hmm deborah this is fucking insane i am not pretending to be a lesbian couple with you i need
40:09that jumpsuit please it means a lot to me i guess it wouldn't be too bad to spend some time
40:12with the
40:12wife call me chandler because i'm gonna fuck monica you're my girlfriend do not flirt with her and blow
40:19up my spot you and i are in a committed loving relationship you're sleeping in the tub i am not
40:24sleeping in the tub okay you know if you want me to do this you got to give me a
40:28thousand dollars yeah
40:33i should have added more
40:39sorry forgot to say negroni's at six ah thank you
40:49give me an extra 500. kit in the tub
40:55oh it's so nice having drinkers over nobody really parties anymore it's true it's true it's
41:01so sad and we celebrate our friend sobriety but we also mourn it
41:07oh well you poor thing what happened sports injury i love jocks uh she dated dean kane at princeton well
41:16this one was daydreaming and got hit by one of those self-driving cars oh no i was looking for
41:21a
41:22girl whose looks stopped traffic instead i got one that gets plowed over by it i have to forgive
41:27deborah she's always a little grumpy when this hand is out of commission oh well you know if you need
41:34help with anything this weekend yeah i can think of a few things watch out deb monica likes redheads
41:41did you know that uh redheads actually need more anesthesia that blazer is fabulous is it vintage
41:48yeah you know murph griffin actually used to own this i had it tailored of course but i i think
41:53it's
41:53got a kicky vibe kelly has a whole walk-in for her vintage hollywood collection really i would love a
41:58tour well maybe we'll do that after dinner but how did you two meet oh that's a boring story
42:04i disagree my love i'll tell it so we were actually set up by our mutual friend jimmy who
42:09just knew we would hit it off and we actually met for the first time at debra's house because
42:13obviously we needed to keep it very hush-hush very discreet and uh yeah she hated me doc martens no
42:20makeup always talking about transit and public housing and uh you know we just kind of went back
42:25and forth back and forth the connection was undeniable but i think our spark is in our fighting
42:30that would be bigger it comes into play in the bedroom a lot too as well isn't that right deb
42:34anyway we were fighting like dogs and i just left i up and left and she came chasing after me
42:41i was
42:41halfway down her driveway in my car and she cut me off on her rolls royce and insisted that i
42:46stay and
42:46so i did i mean how could i refuse oh hi we've been together ever since doesn't it just feel
42:51like
42:51yesterday deb yeah sweetie sometimes it feels like a hundred years oh
42:59give me a kiss baby
43:09oh someone's shy oh come on come on you weren't so shy on the car ride up come on
43:32i love it we're really happy
43:46what are you doing in here just uh i was just looking for a bathroom uh there is an ensuite
43:53in
43:53your bedroom yeah i just you know want to keep the spark alive wow
44:02i couldn't imagine the spark ever going out with you
44:08you know kelly and i um
44:13we're open it's been a powerful information are you and deborah are me and deborah in an open
44:19relationship we are not we are not i have to say no i have to say no but that pause
44:30it tells me you want to be i will say that i'm attracted to other women
44:35i like that but let's circle back on that
44:40do you want to see our chicken coop is that a euphemism no it's a real coop oh sure yeah
44:45i would
44:46love to yeah come on
44:54oh my god kelly this is this is incredible it's it's like a life's work i know debbie reynolds
45:01almost outbid me on the vitamita vegemon dress but i am vicious with a pedal oh what is this little
45:06white number it doesn't doesn't look familiar it's from carol's last show of course oh it's cute i mean i
45:13i would take off your hands you know if you want to sell it yeah right and the really undervalued
45:17piece is bet midler's dress from carson's last show i know you're going to see that no i mean
45:22sure yeah but this little white number we come on deb keep up a lot more to see
45:29hey damien how are you is it an emergency you've called me like 10 times no no emergency i was
45:34just
45:34wondering um yeah how did the trip to mirror evolved ever ago we haven't gone yet that's next week so
45:39she
45:39wasn't there last tuesday she is lying to me god i thought we were past this okay i refuse to
45:44get
45:44involved in whatever this is by the way where are you guys we're in uh montecito at kelly kilpatrick's
45:48mansion we're pretending to be a couple so we can swindle her out of an old jumpsuit it's actually
45:51really gorgeous out here i mean sammy he's gone
46:00you think chapstick lesbian is butcher than soft butch yes oh god these kids they love their little
46:05categories i mean back in our day it was just butcher fem or big lesbos i'm kidding i'm sorry
46:11i mean labels are stupid unless of course it's poochie
46:16thank you so much okay she's had enough oh have i heard i think i'm fine thank you
46:21oh kelly showed me her collection she has this gorgeous jumpsuit that carol wore i think we're
46:25about the same size oh let's not talk about that collection she's always talking about that collection
46:29let's talk about something fun i don't know deborah do you strap um strap oh leave my pillow princess
46:39alone no oh really yeah really deb interesting i'm particular about my pillows yes i'm a cortina soft
46:48down kind of girl she's joking obviously deborah knows that a pillow princess is someone who only
46:55likes to receive pleasure during sex that is not true no no i do plenty in bed oh you know
47:01lesbionically no this is the lazy one oh yeah i'm the lazy one no you're right she does love eating
47:05my ass oh i'm always looking behind me going we're chilling down on that thing it ain't groceries
47:12tell me more oh yeah we've been doing shibari that's rope play so she'll kind of tie me up hang
47:16from the damn scene i'm like a chandelier we know see ya
47:25coming through
47:34come dance with me
47:40look at our girls deborah
47:45come on
47:47huh come and dance with me
47:48come on deborah
47:49no no oh my gosh she's limber
47:52be a good little kitty cat
47:54come on
47:54yeah oh okay oh okay oh okay okay okay okay okay
48:01let's see those moves oh
48:02have you ever been she a little petunia such good hips oh thank you oh gosh
48:12hey
48:14shall we hot tub i think it's getting a little too late for that i mean and sweetie you said
48:19you were
48:19getting tired no actually no i'm really awake yeah i would love to hot tub well unfortunately i
48:26forgot to pack my suit so did i
48:34come on damn we're all dykes here
48:50oh the stars are gorgeous tonight
48:53breathtaking isn't it it really is
49:01deb i've been impressed with you your special the free speech crusade you got going standing up
49:08against bob lipgard now you really grew up here and when i read you spend a night in jail i
49:13did a
49:14spit take oh yeah how was jail you know i was a lesbian i wasn't so bad a lot of
49:21tough ladies
49:22working out all day long when i was there i thought oh i'm gonna save this for the old spank
49:26bank
49:30so what's everybody's first celebrity crush mine lola bunny from space jam
49:35i was beating my meat hard to that girl every night
49:40good night what the hell is wrong with you excuse me you have been way out of line all night
49:46what you
49:47should be thanking me i was saving your straight ass don't you dare bring up ass after you said i
49:51eat
49:52it you will not turn this around on me you brought me here under false pretenses which isn't surprising
49:55because i know you were lying i have confirmation that you were in beverly hills last week are you
49:59tracking me i actually wasn't but that's not the point i thought we were finally being honest with
50:03each other well we're clearly not since you're secretly spying on my whereabouts okay fine whatever
50:08i'm going straight to tub good fine sleep tight
50:25oh sorry i love a midnight snack
50:29i'm gonna have these amazing strawberries and creme fraiche do you want one uh-huh oh good
50:42i'm gonna have these amazing strawberries open up
50:46hmm
50:49kelly and i just got in a fight same with me and deborah it's so hard
50:54to be with these dominant women who always get their way
50:57tell me about it wow look at us
51:03two trophy wires
51:07do you ever wonder
51:10if late at night when they're all alone on the shelf
51:15those trophies get to playing with each other
51:18like toy story exactly like toy story
51:26oh
51:27i was just getting uh water
51:37good night
51:47how dare you cheat on me i am not cheating on you because we are not in a relationship it's
51:51a lie
51:51which is your specialty well if you fuck that nympho trophy wife and kelly finds out i won't ever get
51:56that jumpsuit that's not true because kelly and monica are open well we are monogamous
52:01what that's what works for me
52:04is everything all right in here oh everything's fine ava
52:10are you okay
52:13you know when you're in a relationship with an older more powerful woman it's hard to find your
52:17voice she is my voice deborah calm down ava sweetheart how'd you really break your arm
52:23a driverless car with no witnesses it seems convenient oh my god i never hit her well well i did
52:29it this
52:29time i'm just gonna say it because i don't think ava feels safe saying it but deborah
52:35ava wants to be ethically non-monogamous with you no she doesn't well yes i do but that's not
52:39what this is about all right so ava what is this about well i'm upset because deborah is clearly
52:45keeping something from me and it hurts my feelings that she cannot be honest with me
52:48yeah well everything hurts your feelings yeah hurtful things hurt my feelings deborah sue me
52:52i have okay okay monica and i have done a lot of couples and right now you two are in
52:57the red zone
52:58so let's all take a breath let's get some sleep and maybe revisit this when your nervous systems
53:02have regulated okay sure sorry okay abe okay goodnight
53:29hey when we go to bed angry i've been in love in front of you
53:34no it's true good morning what's it that day you're a coffee person yeah yeah please help
53:43yourself oh i'm sorry how'd you sleep uh not so well sorry about last night mind if i'm candid
53:56please well it seems to me that deborah has probably betrayed you in the past and maybe
54:01the truth is that you're just not fully over it and i i think that maybe you might be trying
54:09to
54:09heal that betrayal by oversharing incredibly intimate graphic details about your relationship and
54:19demanding to know everything about deborah's life yeah you might be right well sometimes oversharing is a
54:26means of forcing intimacy because you're afraid the other person will withhold it from you yeah i mean
54:32i guess i do share too much i don't know i just wish that she wouldn't keep so many walls
54:39up after all this
54:39time the people we love oftentimes are fundamentally different than us and for someone like deborah
54:47lighting our guard down that gives us the opposite feeling of safety that was just different strokes you know
54:55yeah that makes a lot of sense
55:00and once you accept this about her you're both gonna have much deeper much more intense orgasms together
55:06hope so here's do it thanks kelly anytime babe
55:19hi hi coffee thanks
55:33so listen i i wasn't fully honest with you no no i shouldn't expect you to share every aspect of
55:37your life with me i'm sorry i pushed no no it's okay it's okay you're right i wasn't at miraval
55:44i i was in beverly hills having a medical procedure they found a mass and i had it removed oh
55:51my god no no
55:52i'm fine my mom did the exact same thing she had a kidney removed and she didn't tell me why
55:56do
55:56people do that because of reactions like this trust me i'm i'm fine but i knew you'd worry so look
56:04here's the here's the doctor's email this is your white blood cell count now yes totally normal range
56:11cholesterol's a little high so is everybody's trust me i'm fine are you sure yes okay well thanks for
56:21telling me i i just don't like talking about everything all the time like you do yeah well
56:28i should probably keep some things to myself and i should probably be more forthcoming starting with
56:36telling monica and kelly the truth so we're breaking up yeah well i uh hope we still be friends
56:44and um live together and work together and have complicated intermingled lives
56:58hey hi good morning good morning good morning hi uh it it's uh i need to come clean with you
57:06two
57:07oh well of course we're we're open to you know whatever you have to say the truth is
57:14i'm not a lesbian i i've been lying this whole time to endear myself to kelly so that i could
57:20talk her into parting with the carol burnett jumpsuit
57:25so that i could wear it when i play the garden
57:30because my psychic told me i had to oh my god wow anyway i i am so sorry i lied
57:37wow i respect your
57:40culture deb after a full weekend of watching you and ava i think it is pretty obvious that you're
57:47in a relationship it's just so sad that you cannot live your full truth let's get at least one thing
57:53out
57:53the closet this weekend you can have the fucking jumpsuit oh but i'm not gonna play this game with
57:57you follow me upstairs to the closet get it and out yes ma'am miss so sad oh it makes
58:10me feel sick
58:16you know uh we had a lovely time and um now that you know that i'm not
58:19in a relationship my email is mr ava daniels at gmail.com out
58:27god you're tragic at the end of the day i'm rooting for him my hopeless romantic i love you
58:39honey let's adopt another disabled dog oh please you know there's pads everywhere and you gotta put
58:45the things on the i know i'm gonna put a pad on you don't do that you know i hate
58:49my putting that
58:50well that was easy that was completely insane
58:57you know regardless of you being straight we would never work as a couple oh absolutely not i'm out of
59:02your league hey guess what what
59:12i stole their fancy cookies those are fancy those are tates they sell them everywhere what are you
59:18talking about they taste fancy that's just because they're thin that's what makes them fancy oh come
59:23on you're getting crumbs everywhere these are so good but they need milk can we stop the milk what are
59:27you
59:27i'm nine so um should i tell damien and josefina that we hook up or do you know what
59:32we did not hook up
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