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Coronation Street - Season 67 - Episode 20: Thursday, 29th January 2026
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00:00I
00:41So, er, you have to work?
00:45No flies on you.
00:47Listen, honey, you've been tossing your tenny all night.
00:49So how about a ring, Roy?
00:51Explain that you're not up to it.
00:52I'm sure you'll understand.
00:52I am up for it.
00:54You know, a bit of crayon on the older space.
00:56I'm not good to go.
00:56Okay, Benny, grief is a process, okay?
00:59It takes time.
00:59There's no hiding from it.
01:00There's no shame in it.
01:01Yeah, and I could strike till I drop, but it changes now.
01:04So, listen, how about I pick up the coils, lighten your load?
01:07I was missing in action the first time round.
01:09I've got a lot to make up for.
01:11You know, that's ancient history.
01:12Okay, you're a wonderful mother, you're a wonderful grandmother,
01:14but you are not a superwoman, okay?
01:16And grief must out, right?
01:17How about I do me and you do you?
01:19Yeah, because I am worried about you.
01:22Honey, I'm worried.
01:24And you keep up this place, you're going to hit a wall.
01:27Look, this has got to stop.
01:29Seriously.
01:33You know best.
01:40Oh, it's strange not seeing Billy up on the altar run the show.
01:45Oh, it was.
01:47It really was.
01:48Oh, thanks, Bernie.
01:50That's it.
01:51Tonic plates have certainly shifted.
01:54No kibble pits.
01:55How are you feeling, Bernie?
01:57How are you bearing up?
01:58I don't know.
01:59What's the alternative?
02:01Spoken like a true stoic.
02:02I was just saying to Sally, it was so strange seeing the bishop up there.
02:06No Billy.
02:07What with him being dead, you mean?
02:10Cross observation.
02:11I'm sorry.
02:13I know what you meant.
02:15Hey, Bernie, you still on for tonight?
02:17Starting off at the Rovers.
02:19Copy that, Sal.
02:20Great.
02:20She just needs to let off a bit of steam.
02:22Yeah.
02:23Just what the doctor ordered.
02:28Oh, aye.
02:29What have you two been up to, you dirty tickets?
02:31A lady never tells.
02:34Summer was in floods.
02:35I'm just down to bed.
02:36Oh, she broke my heart.
02:38And Todd was just stricken, wasn't he?
02:42Bernie's been bottling it up.
02:44Well, there's no one size fits all.
02:46Yeah, true.
02:48But, I mean, Dad did text.
02:49Said to keep an eye on her.
02:51Right.
02:52I am off-ski.
02:54I've got a banging headache.
02:56Try not to fall apart without me.
02:58Laters.
03:05I'm looking for Roy.
03:06Aye, you found him.
03:09How can I help you?
03:10You sent these to my wife.
03:15I did like knives, are you?
03:24Hey, you.
03:26Back already?
03:28How was your shit?
03:29Oh, you know.
03:31Made toasters, poured coffee, wiped tables.
03:34Oh, sorry.
03:34And so what's with the early dart, then?
03:36How you feeling?
03:37Like I'm going to punch the next person who asked me that.
03:41Sorry, I'm being a cow.
03:42No, I'm sorry.
03:42I'm clearly testing your patients.
03:44Listen, are you sure you don't want me to pick up the kids?
03:46No, they're expecting me.
03:47You get on with your vat.
03:49Okay.
03:50Well, listen, how about when you get back, I, uh, fix you a really piping hot bath and make you
03:56something lovely to...
03:57No, I haven't got time.
03:59I'm, uh, I'm going to jump in the shower.
04:01I'm going out with the girls.
04:04Well, like another late one?
04:06Oh, fingers crossed.
04:08What's that face for?
04:09Honey, you are eating like a bird.
04:10You're barely sleeping.
04:11Well, if I'm keeping you awake, I can sleep in Ardy's room.
04:14Please.
04:15My point is that I really don't think another boozy night is the best idea.
04:19Dev.
04:19No, the girls will understand.
04:22Okay, but he was so precious to you.
04:24He was a special link to poor.
04:26But yesterday was an ordeal for everyone.
04:28But this brave-faced routine of your...
04:29Look, everyone is at me, right?
04:31Everyone has got an opinion.
04:33Honey, I am not everyone.
04:35You're suffocating me!
04:39Now, just, uh, isn't that just like grief talking?
04:41No!
04:41No, it's me talking and you not listening.
04:45That's purr!
04:46What?
05:13That's purr!
05:19I would never pursue a married woman or anyone with a partner come to that.
05:24I can vouch for that.
05:25As can I.
05:26Alice is the one who did all the chasing.
05:28It was intended that we meet last week
05:31and the flowers were an apology for cancellation.
05:34A sweetener.
05:35He was being a gentleman.
05:37Cos that's who he is.
05:39He's never even mentioned me.
05:4431 years.
05:46Three kids.
05:49Airbrushed out.
05:56Can I offer you a cup of tea?
06:00I'm sorry.
06:02I'm sorry.
06:08I hate January at the best of times.
06:11Poor old Billy dying.
06:14Todd's fiancée did such a lovely eulogy that I didn't say.
06:18Such a lot of love in that room.
06:21I told Ben we're having a happy hour.
06:23All spirits are half price.
06:25Men?
06:26Yeah, Mum.
06:27Get men.
06:28I'm going to bargain.
06:29Sometimes it pays to drink yourself, stupid.
06:32You're back.
06:33Ka-ching, ka-ching.
06:34And the first round is on the house.
06:36Oh, nice one.
06:37You, Maggie, are an officer and a gentleman.
06:40I'm pretty sure I can have you cancelled for that.
06:43Right now, what's everyone having?
06:44Oh, a gin tea ice and slice, please.
06:46A large body, please.
06:48You know, to help process my grief.
06:49A large glass of wine.
06:51Okay.
06:52I'm sorry I never met you or Paul.
06:55By all accounts, a lovely fella.
06:57Yeah, he was.
06:58He was, yeah.
06:59Hey, come on, girls.
07:00That booth has got our name on it.
07:03Can you, er, get a wiggle on, please, Glenda?
07:06I'm parched.
07:12See you, I do.
07:13I can't keep up.
07:14Thanks.
07:14Come on, like you.
07:15Oh, no.
07:16I'm a bit done in this funeral.
07:19Yeah, thank you for everything.
07:21Oh, it was an honour.
07:23I mean, not an honour I ever wanted.
07:25Yeah, yeah, I know.
07:26I know what you mean.
07:29Do you know what?
07:30If ever you need to unburden yourself, to be honest, I just want to get off my face.
07:35I can relate to that, right?
07:36Well, I better keep on coming and laugh.
07:37Back in a minute.
07:38Still a miss.
07:39Oh, I can help you out there, Sal.
07:41How about a pint of lime and soda?
07:44Maggie, darling, that is not going to line your pockets.
07:47It will line your stomach, though.
07:50I know you're hurting.
07:52We're all hurting.
07:53You're leaving Bill Gates.
07:54He's got his problems.
07:57I never met Paul, but I really liked Billy.
08:01You have to hang on to the fact that they're in a better place now.
08:06What are the coaching horses?
08:08Maggie's only trying to be kind.
08:11She's in vain.
08:13What do you reckon?
08:14Oh, God.
08:16They're at peace, and we're left to get on with it.
08:19She's like a walking bridge magnet.
08:22Penny.
08:23What?
08:24Pipe down.
08:26Pull your eyes out.
08:28Show some respect.
08:30I'm sorry.
08:30I didn't mean to upset you, fool.
08:33No, you're building your part, love.
08:35Can you tell Gemma that I need me bad?
08:39Don't get worried, Sal.
08:41It's no biggie.
08:43No, no, no.
09:03You're looking at half an ill.
09:07None taken
09:09See how we get pal
09:10Whatever she's having
09:13Ooh
09:14A pint of cyanide, Ty
09:17Failing that I'll have a
09:18A whisky and ginger, please
09:20Drying in your sorrows
09:23Meet your mate
09:26Life is hard
09:28And then you die
09:33Mum
09:35Benny
09:41I find out my wife
09:42Has been cheating on me
09:45Oh mate
09:46With some weirdo
09:50In an apron
09:53He says he didn't have no clue about me
09:55Get rid of her
09:58Just like that
10:00Just like that
10:03I thought we were soulmates
10:06Well it's not looking good, Mal
10:09Can't lie to you
10:11I love her
10:14Maybe it's just a blip
10:19You think?
10:20No
10:22But you bought me a drink
10:23And you look miserable as sin
10:29My son and his husband
10:30They were
10:33Not homophobe, are you?
10:35Biggest Paul and Grady fan in the world
10:37All right
10:38Right, good
10:41Now my Paul and his Billy
10:44Love between them two
10:46You could feel it
10:49And they were put through the ringer
10:51And they were put through the ringer
10:52But every battle
10:54Made him stronger
10:58Lucky them
10:59Um
11:00Oh yeah
11:01Yeah
11:03They looked out all right
11:07My round please
11:13One, two, three, four, five
11:15Says she's looking over time
11:21Shall I look them up?
11:22Yeah, knock yourself out
11:23Yeah
11:24Hey
11:25Shall we go clubbing?
11:27We're fine here
11:28Oh come on
11:29I've not been to Equinox for donkey
11:31Guys, guys
11:32Sorry
11:32The only musical play in the union
11:33Is the music that's on PA
11:35All right
11:36It's the phone police
11:38Thank you
11:40Hey
11:41Have you been in the fight?
11:43No, we got raided by burglars
11:45Oh, are you kidding?
11:48Do you want a drink?
11:50No, Tar
11:51And to be honest, Bernie
11:53I think you've probably had enough
11:54To be honest
11:55I'm only just getting started
11:56She's fine
11:58She's fine
11:58She's fine
11:59I'm looking out
12:00I'm going to go
12:01Bernie
12:02Bernie, Bernie
12:03Right, I'm going to have to ask you to leave otherwise
12:05Come on
12:05Ooh
12:06Management have spoken
12:08Come on, Bernie
12:09Best not kick the horn
12:10It's never
12:11Oh, he bore off
12:13Right, okay
12:14Come on, that's it
12:15You've got to go
12:16Now, please
12:17Go, you've got to go
12:18No, no, no, no
12:19Now
12:19No, just think of this, right
12:22As a mini-wake
12:26I've heard my son-in-law yesterday
12:28I know
12:29I'm
12:30Hey, I'm really sorry about that
12:32Okay
12:32But I'm going to have to ask you to go
12:34Bernie
12:35I'll sorry
12:36Please, please, please, please
12:37Right, please do
12:39Right
12:43Right
12:45I will see you around, pal
12:47Mal
12:48Oh, Mal
12:50Yeah, and you've been wifey off
12:53Is that it?
12:54Well, Clubland beckons
12:55And, um
12:56I'm going to get off my cake
12:59Sounds good to me
13:03But let's drink the mini-bar dry first
13:07Room 59
13:26Oh, bangor after bangor
13:30I love the night you've made
13:32I can tell
13:34Can't remember much of it, mate
13:36Stop it
13:39Right
13:40I'm going to be back
13:41Before you can say
13:44Hacienda
13:45Ah
13:47The legendary
13:50Hacienda
13:51Right, good to know
13:52So, shall we take him
13:53Before you send me into a corner?
13:55Ah, I love it
13:56When you take me down
13:58Well, I'm in a safe space
14:00With me new best mate
14:02Be rude not to
14:07How long before I kicked him?
14:09Hmm, not long
14:11You know, a couple of hours of oblivion
14:14You'll do me nicely
14:15You mean to hell I'm back
14:17Well, I'm not back yet, love
14:19No, no, no, no
14:21Mal, Mal
14:21Just, just
14:22Just be in the moment, mate
14:25Right, just
14:26Just chill, kid
14:29I
14:30I
14:30I
14:30I
14:31I
14:32I
14:44The ceiling's like a kaleidoscope
14:49For real?
14:51Nah
14:52Just trying to be cold
14:56What in those slacks?
14:57Hey
14:58If you're mocking me
15:00You have to pay a forfeit
15:02Well, I've got about
15:03Four quid in me purse
15:05So go and knock yourself out, mate
15:08I'll settle for a kiss
15:11I'm married
15:12So's my wife
15:13Brilliant crumper style
15:17Nice one
15:19Don't sound so surprised
15:21I can parry with the best of
15:22Hmm
15:24How about a cuddle, then
15:25And we can both do the one
15:28Do you know
15:30That vodka's calling me
15:41Hey
15:42Hey, it's Benny all right
15:43We've got her a kebab
15:47Hi, Daddy
15:48We thought it was a little bit cold for Newcastle
15:51But we wanted to feel the mud, don't we?
15:53Yeah
15:54Ma'am, we got you a kebab
15:56No, no, no, lady
15:57She's not with you, love
15:59No, no, she left ages ago
16:01Oh, maybe she's gone to your house
16:03Not the little cuddle with the baby
16:05Oh, me
16:06Oh, couldn't be asked
16:07You know, she wouldn't do that, would she?
16:08No
16:08No, she had a bit of umbrage with Maggie or something
16:11She said something
16:13What?
16:13Yeah, it was something or nothing
16:14She just said a lot to drink
16:15Oh, we all have
16:16Hooray
16:17Hooray
16:18Hooray
16:20Hooray
16:20Hooray
16:20Holly
16:22Why don't you tell me?
16:23Because she told me not to
16:24Yeah, all right, ladies, listen
16:25I'm sure she's okay
16:26Let's just give her a ring, yeah
16:27Oh, no, no
16:31I reckon that dealer in the dog and gun sold us a couple of tranks
16:36I'm starting to wonder
16:40Tell me about your dead son
16:44Oh, he was a lovely
16:47Yeah, he was kind
16:50He was dead funny
16:52Was lazy
16:55He was a great stepdad
16:57He was a good boxer
16:58He was a terrible cook
17:03Tell me about your living wife
17:07She could be an MI5
17:10She's probably there right now
17:11When we call her
17:12All these years
17:14Three decades
17:17That's an achievement
17:19Oh, yes, her happy years
17:2125 happy years would be something to celebrate
17:24Otherwise it's just a matter of not being unhappy enough to get divorced
17:28When you slowly wade your way through 25 calendars
17:33Parents' evenings
17:35Christmases with the in-laws
17:37Atches, matches
17:39And dispatches
17:42I'm glad you found my baby's little life so funny
17:46I don't think I ever went to a parents' evening
17:51Not a one
17:52Raven
17:54Yeah
17:55Yeah, my kids had to spend around me
17:58I was a total disgrace
18:01Oh, it's not just down to you
18:05What about your husband?
18:06The men in your life?
18:07I let my kids down on every level
18:09They had terrible food
18:10They had terrible stepdads
18:14Ideas
18:14Ideas
18:17I didn't grow up till I was 50
18:25Sorry
18:28Faint heart
18:29Fair maid
18:33You look
18:35So sad
18:39My kids deserve better
18:41I'm sure you did your best
18:44Oh
18:44You were gorgeous
18:47A proper firecracker
18:50I was an unfit mother
18:55I'll never get the chance to make it up to him
19:02And Billy
19:05Billy
19:06Billy was the love of his life
19:10Billy was bold
19:14He was the loveliest
19:17He was the kindest
19:21He was a little piece of my ball
19:27And now he's gone
19:34They've both gone
19:36They've both gone
19:45Hey darling
19:46It's me again
19:48Party paper in chief
19:49Not that you're partying
19:51It seems like I have a knack of making things worse
19:54Right?
19:56Anyway, listen
19:57It's late
20:00She's very early
20:01And you haven't even got your big coat
20:03So
20:05Please come home
20:07Or let me know where you are
20:08And I'll come and pick you up
20:11I love you
20:21I've had some complaints about the noise
20:25Some people should get a life
20:26It's two o'clock in the morning, Bernie
20:32Nothing happened
20:35We just got wrecked together
20:38Yeah, it's none of our business
20:43Just don't let Debbie see you, alright?
20:45She's gonna be in at seven
20:46I'll be long gone
20:50Nothing happened
20:51Just took a pill
20:53It's not big
20:53Ah, didn't hear that
20:55Anything else you've got goes down the bog
20:57We only had two
20:58Oh, yippee
21:00Ryan
21:03Nothing happened
21:08I doubt David call this nothing
21:12Just
21:12Just
21:12Don't hold on, Bernie
21:22Hurry up
21:24There's a big queue out here
21:25You hurry up
21:28Oh, my God
21:33Wow
21:33We're sorry
21:34Oh, my God
21:35It's so good
21:37I can see it
21:40I can see it
21:42See, I can see it
21:42See, I can see
21:43So
21:43See, I can see it
21:44See, I can see it
21:49Bye, Han
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