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Dog Park - Season 1 - Episode 02: Farty Marty's Birthday Party

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TV
Transcript
00:00Last time on Dog Park, you might remember this.
00:03So, Roland, you can't go to the park without me.
00:06Yeah, oh, yeah, no, I can. I can't run with a dog.
00:08Mia, have you seen the dog?
00:10Yes.
00:10Where?
00:11Oh, I don't know. I'll text him on.
00:12No, no, no. Just where is it?
00:14Santa girl.
00:16Oh, my God, you're Roland.
00:20I'm Samantha.
00:21Can we not do introductions? I'm not staying.
00:23I don't do chat.
00:24You do chat, but you left, and now I've got the dog.
00:28The dog I didn't want in the first place, by the way.
00:29But anyway, I've got full custody.
00:31Hi, Roland.
00:32Hello.
00:33You know, we're Emma and Beattie's park family.
00:35And, uh, I guess now we're yours.
00:36Oh, no, thank you.
00:38Are you okay?
00:38I mean, I'll see you at the park.
00:39Yes.
00:40Probably not, actually. But anyway.
00:58No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
01:03Text message received. Would you like to hear message?
01:06Yes.
01:07Emma, US, don't answer if drunk said hi.
01:09I decided to text you because whenever we talk it gets weird and silent.
01:13Anyway, something big happened.
01:15Carl's leaving and wants me to take over the whole department.
01:19Slime, emoji.
01:20Surprise, emoji.
01:21We should talk.
01:22They really like me, but shit, I don't know.
01:24It's everything I've ever wanted, but I have to apply for a new visa
01:28and talk to Mia, obviously.
01:29I know I can't just stay here forever, can I?
01:32Ha, ha.
01:33Maybe you guys can visit or Mia.
01:35Sorry for the dump.
01:36It's late and I'm on a high.
01:38Let's talk my tomorrow.
01:40X, X.
01:42Would you like to reply?
01:45No.
01:47Play Mr. Brightside.
01:50Here's what I found about Mr. Brightside.
01:53Play.
01:54Play Mr. Brightside.
01:58Unable to play, Mr. Brightside.
02:00I've been looking around with some kind of feeling, some kind of sensation.
02:05And you know I can feel it all inside.
02:09I don't care where you've been and I don't care to see what you're saying.
02:13Don't you know I will be dying.
02:17To be by your side.
02:22Oh, don't go down.
02:25Don't go down.
02:26Don't go down.
02:28Don't go down.
02:28It is you.
02:30Where's Beanie?
02:32Down, Muppet.
02:33Down.
02:34Muppet, down.
02:42Turns out you're right actually.
02:43Emma is probably staying a little bit longer.
02:45No way.
02:46Oh that's so great.
02:47She's amazing.
02:49Isn't she?
02:49I'm so happy for her.
02:50Maybe you should join her.
02:51Me?
02:51Oh god no I'm at a point in my life where I definitely need to stay put.
02:54Look at this guy.
02:54Taking up two spots.
02:56Selfish prick.
02:56Maybe he's saving a spot for his wife.
03:00Huh.
03:00The glass is very much half full for you isn't it?
03:04It is the better half for blood pressure, heart health.
03:07The thing is though like if the liquid is exactly at the halfway point the trajectory is down.
03:12I mean you don't fill a glass from the halfway point.
03:15Whether you drink it or you empty it out.
03:17So it is by definition half empty.
03:20You must be such an inspiration for your students.
03:24Is it creepy how much we know about you?
03:26Well I've changed a lot if that's any indication.
03:30Now you have to tell me what you do.
03:32Guess.
03:34That is my one gift.
03:38Something you love.
03:39But that nobody else even realises it's a job.
03:45Something that needs maths.
03:48Numbers.
03:49But also creativity.
03:51So drawing.
03:52Drawing.
03:53That'll do.
03:54Wrong.
03:55Come on.
03:57Architect.
04:00I'm close aren't I?
04:01You wish.
04:07Do you want to go?
04:08Do you want to go?
04:09Okay.
04:09Hold on.
04:10Go.
04:13It's a shame we can't be more like families enough.
04:38I'm happy with that handshake.
04:41Are you?
04:42Show me happy.
04:49Dad, hurry up, I'm going to be late.
04:51That'll be a threat to some dogs.
04:54Why did you come here if you have to work?
04:56Mum's been begging me to take her.
04:58He rolled in something again.
05:01I've got a dance of clipping.
05:02Were you at home last time?
05:04Dad, I was staying at Yuki's.
05:07Thanks for keeping up.
05:07I'm going to get a kill again.
05:08You know, that's just kind of why I'm asking.
05:10Are you going to be home tonight?
05:11Okay.
05:11I don't know, Dad.
05:12Okay, fine.
05:13You should put him in a show.
05:14No, Biggie can't even sit.
05:15Oh, no.
05:16He wouldn't do it in front of other people.
05:18It's a true shame.
05:19Did you bring something well then?
05:20No.
05:21Doesn't like the cold.
05:21Maybe next time.
05:23Oh, I have this book for you.
05:24I'm definitely going to kill him.
05:25You have to go.
05:26Bye.
05:26Bye.
05:27Oh, remember.
05:29No contact.
05:30No contact.
05:30Yes.
05:31Promise.
05:32Yes.
05:34Bye.
05:34Bye, darling.
05:35Thanks plenty.
05:36Also, can you tell Dad to trim his nose hairs?
05:39It's really gross.
05:40Okay, bye, guys.
05:41Bye.
05:41Bye, darling.
05:42Bye.
05:43I'm your favourite.
05:45Okay.
05:46No, say Roland.
05:47Oh, Rose Nolan.
05:48You're her absolute favourite.
05:49Uh, sure.
05:50Yep, sure.
05:50Never say no to day drinking.
05:52It's really dark.
05:53Oh, yeah, you're rolling in something again.
05:54It's good to see me arrive and about, isn't it?
05:56I know.
05:56I told her no contact.
05:57Oh, wise.
05:58Did anyone get a fair hair tie?
06:00Why is that?
06:00Yes, I've got one.
06:01You know what they say?
06:02Patting dogs helps heartbreak.
06:04Ah.
06:05It doesn't now.
06:05Yeah.
06:06Oh, yeah.
06:07I think Connor broke up with her.
06:09Oh, yeah.
06:10Oh, yes, please.
06:11Oh, yeah, that's right.
06:13That's right, yes.
06:14But he's very sad, isn't it?
06:15Oh, excuse me.
06:17Sorry.
06:18Oh, if that's Emma, can you ask if she's found the arrivals department yet?
06:22You know, for visitors from...
06:24Hello.
06:25Thank you for your message.
06:27Yeah, can we talk about that tomorrow?
06:29Yeah, well, you called me, Emma.
06:31Yeah, so Mia just sent me a photo of Beattie at the dog park.
06:35Ah, yeah, because she's here at the park.
06:37The dog.
06:38I mean, did you hear about Mia and Connor?
06:40Yeah, yeah, yeah.
06:41Yeah, of course I did.
06:42Hey, so why does Beattie's tag say she's at home?
06:45Because I took the tag off.
06:47Why?
06:48Because you're using it to make sure I walk the dog.
06:50I'm not.
06:51Oh, jeez.
06:52Roland, what is wrong with you?
06:54Why are you making me so hard?
06:56Well, why do you need to know where the dog is?
06:58In case she goes missing.
06:59Yeah, and what are you going to do from New Mexico, Emma?
07:02Oh, I will call someone.
07:04See, I'll be onto it before you even wake up.
07:06Yeah, that's not the point.
07:08The only reason you're tracking the dog is to make sure I'm walking her.
07:13I really think you need help, Roland.
07:16A little bit.
07:23What?
07:24What?
07:25Oh.
07:31Roland?
07:38See you in the morning?
07:40Yeah.
07:41Hopefully the world ends before then.
07:57Oh, you're home.
07:58You hungry?
07:59Dinner's in the oven.
07:59There's nothing to eat.
08:01Uh...
08:01When are you going shopping?
08:02I just went shopping.
08:06There's no food.
08:07Yeah, no, I can hear you.
08:08You can't hear me.
08:09Dinner's in the oven.
08:15Ew.
08:18You look so sad and lonely.
08:21Are you talking to yourself or to dinner?
08:24Why don't you get some friends?
08:27Mum says you never reach out.
08:29Does she?
08:30I'm ordering ice cream.
08:33Mia?
08:37Is everything all right?
08:39With?
08:42Well, with Connor, I mean, if you ever want to...
08:44I swear to God, Dad, if you're about to give me relationship advice, I will kill you in
08:48your sleep.
08:49Okay.
08:50You're drinking wine again by yourself again.
08:54You don't do counselling, which is ironic, and you don't even know your own data points.
08:58No, you're right, I don't.
08:58And by the way, I'm deferring uni.
09:00I'm walking something like dick.
09:01You're not deferring uni.
09:01You cannot tell me what I can or can't do.
09:03How?
09:16I'm sorry, Dad.
09:18Oh, you don't have to be sorry.
09:23It's such a love-bombing fuck, babe.
09:27Who is it?
09:31Connor.
09:31Yes.
09:32Yeah.
09:32Yeah.
09:35Well, you know, as you quite rightly point out, I'm not really qualified to give relationship
09:39advice.
09:41Okay.
09:42No, no, no, but I was going to say, when you're young, well, actually, even when you're not,
09:52it can seem really big.
09:55I mean, before your mum, I had this German girlfriend.
09:59She was so nice and really kind, and anyway, she left, and when she did, I felt like it
10:10was everything.
10:15that, you know, that, you know, that, you know, time heals, plenty more fish in the sea, they're
10:21cliches for a reason.
10:26Thanks.
10:32You're welcome.
10:36I have no advice for you.
10:59She's so good.
11:01I'm glad.
11:02I should have done this then.
11:04It's very early.
11:05No, Dad. It's exactly the right time in my life.
11:08Plus, I quit my job because I booked a Cambodian retreat.
11:11No, you're not going to Cambodia, eh?
11:12You've already paid the deposit, Dad.
11:14I can't wait to see Connor's face when they're here.
11:17Yeah, that will be something.
11:22You can get rid of all this.
11:29I gave you this for Christmas!
11:51Hey, what's the catch?
11:52Hey, what's the catch?
12:00Oh, my God, we're chill here.
12:02Oh, my God, we're chill here.
12:04Oh, my God, we're chill here.
12:05Oh, my God, it's a meditation for a lot of people.
12:10I'm gonna be able to do it.
12:11300.
12:12Yeah, I know.
12:14He listens, and then it's like, it never happened.
12:17Nothing. He just said,
12:20you're not going to Cambodia, I don't know.
12:22Oh, my God, I don't know.
12:27I wish you were here.
12:30I miss you too.
12:34I know.
12:38Come on.
12:41No, I'm OK.
12:43No. Mum, no.
12:52I miss you too.
12:53I miss you too.
13:16No, I'm not doing that.
13:18Roland!
13:20Over here!
13:21No, I'm not doing that.
13:22Left! No, no, right!
13:25Come on!
13:26Come on over!
13:28Oh, um...
13:30Beatty, no, no!
13:31Come and join us!
13:35Roland!
13:36Come for a cuppa!
13:38Come round the side!
13:49Jesus.
13:52Op, op, op, op!
14:02Go, go!
14:04Why do you have...
14:07This one?
14:12Come in!
14:13Don't worry about shoes.
14:15You're just helping me with the party.
14:17A party?
14:18Can you see it?
14:19Yep.
14:20I found this!
14:21Oh, great!
14:23There he is.
14:24I've missed everyone.
14:25Hey, Roland.
14:25Hi.
14:26You coming?
14:26It's for Marty's birthday.
14:28Oh.
14:28Farty Marty's having a party.
14:30Yes.
14:30Don't be tardy.
14:32Is this all you want?
14:33No, no, look, I think there must be another one up there, Jonah.
14:36Do you mind?
14:36No, no dramas.
14:37Great.
14:38It's a beautiful house, isn't it?
14:39Yeah.
14:40Could do with a few less doors.
14:41You're coming, Roland.
14:43To Farty Marty's birthday party.
14:45Oh, God, no.
14:46I mean, nothing personal.
14:47I wouldn't get at my own birthday party.
14:49Right, okay.
14:51Come on, it's his big one too.
14:53Twelve?
14:54God, I thought he was twenty.
14:57Sorry, I mean, maybe he just needs a good night's sleep.
15:02That's the one.
15:03Right, let's see what we've got.
15:06Oh, how's Mia doing?
15:09Uh, she's a little emotional and unhinged.
15:12I think I made it worse, actually.
15:13She's booked a meditation retreat.
15:15Oh, that's a good idea.
15:16In Cambodia.
15:17She paid a $300 deposit.
15:18I'd do that.
15:19Exactly.
15:20I mean, what's the point of meditation?
15:23Doesn't it just make things worse?
15:24You know, when I was Mia's age, I made a bomb out of hairspray cans.
15:28That's comforting.
15:29Yeah, I don't know why I did that.
15:31Maybe you should talk to her.
15:32Happy to.
15:33As long as he didn't say, the first heartbreak is the hardest.
15:36Yeah, well, plenty more fish.
15:38Or time heals all wounds.
15:39Yeah.
15:40That's a classic one.
15:42Ah, shit.
15:44I've got to go.
15:45Oh, how are the brothers?
15:47Eh, you know.
15:48Yeah, okay.
15:50Alright, I'll see you guys tonight, alright?
15:52Yeah, yeah.
15:52Sorry, I can't stick with my...
15:53No, no, don't worry.
15:54Ronald needs to help me.
15:55Richard, Roland?
15:56Let's wait, let's go.
15:57Oh, no.
15:58Um, no.
15:59I can't.
15:59I'm off too.
15:59I'll make a banner for tonight.
16:01Oh, great.
16:03Oh, shush.
16:04Marty, we all know it's your birthday.
16:07He wants you to say happy birthday.
16:10Roland, say happy birthday to Marty.
16:14I'm not doing that.
16:16Bye.
16:17Martin, let's go.
16:18Bye.
16:20Come on.
16:21Come on.
16:21Give it away.
16:25I have half an hour.
16:27I wouldn't want you any longer.
16:31Great.
16:38What did you do?
16:39What do you do?
16:40What do you do?
16:40The work?
16:41The majority of the time I was in the diplomatic corps.
16:45And, um, Sam, what does she do?
16:47Uh, she's an engineer.
16:50She turns drawings of bridges into actual bridges.
16:54That one in the city's hers.
16:56I'm gonna show off.
16:59Why didn't you go with Emma?
17:01To New Mexico?
17:04Oh, uh, because of the dog.
17:05No.
17:06Because of, well, me, uh, my job.
17:12Actually, she never asked.
17:14Probably because she knew what the answer was gonna be.
17:17That's our secret to success, you know?
17:19If you don't want to hear the answer,
17:21don't ask the question.
17:23Oh, Jesus.
17:26I think I'm making this worse.
17:28It's like parenting, isn't it?
17:30Hmm.
17:32Do you have kids?
17:34Four.
17:36Oh.
17:37Three alive.
17:41And six grandchildren.
17:44Oh, very alive.
17:49Oh.
17:51No.
17:52Sorry.
17:53Work?
17:54Yes.
17:55Yeah.
17:55Um, Esther.
17:56She's failed her property course.
17:59One less real estate agent.
18:01Yeah.
18:02Um, BD.
18:03Come on.
18:04Good girl.
18:04Roland.
18:06You were a teen once.
18:08No.
18:08I was born middle-aged.
18:09You just have to be there for her while she stuffs everything up.
18:12Even if she acts like she doesn't need you.
18:15What do you think I should do while I'm being there?
18:19Well, cook.
18:20And listen.
18:21Yeah, I do cook.
18:22Or something she likes.
18:24You know, teens are like crocodiles or beach worms.
18:26Just drag a chicken across the sand.
18:28Is that a recipe?
18:29Fill the house with smells that she can't resist.
18:31And she'll come out to eat and hopefully talk.
18:49Uh-huh.
18:49I'll do it.
18:51I'll do it.
18:53I'll do it.
18:59Hmm.
19:02What does he do for?
19:03I'm going to turn around and I'll give him some guys a bit.
19:03It's nice.
19:04I'll give him a little bit.
19:04How does he do?
19:20Excuse me, excuse me, sorry.
19:22Sorry, I just can't.
19:23Sorry.
19:58Sorry, it was just a little bit spur of the moment.
20:02What was spur of the moment?
20:04Well, I just thought it might be better if we spoke face-to-face rather than those awful
20:12phone calls.
20:16What do you want to talk about?
20:18Dad, would you be mad if I went and lived in America?
20:21Oh, hang on.
20:22No, we need to discuss this first.
20:27Yeah, I'll just...
20:32No, no, no.
20:35You know, there.
20:38It's fine.
20:45I'll get this.
20:47I'll get this.
21:07I'll get this.
21:37How old do I look to you?
21:40Roland, you made it.
21:42Yeah, try and keep me away.
21:43I already drank some.
21:44Oh, no, no, no, no.
21:45I can't do the news.
21:46It's too depressing.
21:47Aren't you lucky the rest of us do?
21:49No, I get it.
21:51It's not like I get the news, but what's the point?
21:53Oh, that's something.
21:54Have you seen the cake?
21:56Doesn't cake kill dogs?
21:57It's native dog food.
21:59My partner makes them.
22:00Oh, God, it's the end of civilisation
22:01when people start making cakes for dogs.
22:04Okay, what good does it do watching the news from your couch, Roland?
22:07How nice to pretend that there's nothing bad in the world.
22:09I am not pretending my friend.
22:11Have you ever tried ice bars?
22:13No, I haven't.
22:13And don't be surprised if I never do, actually.
22:15Ice bars.
22:16Can you help me hang this streamer up?
22:17I need a tall guy, yeah.
22:18So, I don't need your help.
22:19I was just worried that you were about to bite one of the young ones.
22:26Emma's back.
22:29Yeah, spur of the moment.
22:31Why are you here, then?
22:33I guess I just can't resist dog parties.
22:38No, I froze, to be honest.
22:39And Mia looked so relieved to have her mum back.
22:42I just left them alone.
22:45Okay.
22:46I'm not saying it's normal behaviour to leave the house when your wife comes home.
22:50It's a choice.
22:51Yeah.
22:53Her suitcase was empty.
22:56Which...
22:58Which means she's packing more or something?
23:01Get away.
23:03Buddy, come on.
23:05It started as four weeks, and then it got extended because she's amazing, and then Carl, whoever
23:12he is, decides to leave the place and put her in charge, and now I'm starting to think
23:18she's about to tell me she's never coming back.
23:21And I can't help but wondering, was this the plan all along?
23:28She probably just got over there and realised how great it is.
23:32Um, how fun it is, being good at what you do.
23:39Yeah, I probably shouldn't be talking about this with you.
23:45Probably not.
23:49I feel like I'm about to lose everything.
23:55You're not.
23:59Hey, everyone.
24:01Jonah and Pamela are going to sing.
24:03Oh, fuck me.
24:04Stop it.
24:04Fuck.
24:05No.
24:06No.
24:06You are going to love it.
24:08Buddy, he's so smart, he knows
24:11When you're sad or when you're mad
24:15Or when it's time to party
24:21He's your best friend, he's my best friend
24:25When I'm with you my life fails
24:29I'm like a dog with two tails
24:34Every dog will have his day
24:38This is your day, Marty, say it with me
24:43This is Marty, Marty's birthday
24:50Happy birthday, Marty, Marty
24:52Hip, hip, hooray
24:54Hip, hip, hooray
24:55Hip, hip, hooray
24:57Stop, put that down
24:59Happy birthday, Marty
25:00Oh, it's like Lady and the Tramp
25:02It is
25:03It's a true cultural experience
25:07I'll never be the same after that
25:09Oh, look, here comes Man from Sawyer River
25:12I know, it's the Bush Tucker man
25:14Oh, he's coming here
25:15Oh, hello
25:17He's, um
25:19Hey, man
25:20Hi
25:22Steve, this is Roland
25:23Oh, hey, Beatty's dad
25:25Yeah, well, no, actually, I'm human
25:28Roland loves your hat
25:30It's, uh, rabbit pills
25:31Yeah
25:31Hey, you just missed the song
25:33Oh, really?
25:34Okay
25:34I'd love to hear it
25:35No, please don't
25:36Never do I worry
25:40I've got nothing to say
25:45I'd never get bounced on
25:47Nothing to deplete
25:50Never do you get hungry
25:53Got no mind to eat
25:57I'd never get bounced on
26:00Especially in the night
26:02And you are gone
26:07I'd never get bounced on
26:10As long as a rooster crows
26:12I'll hear you on the radio
26:15I'll see you on TV
26:20I'd never get bounced on
26:22Especially in the night
26:25And you are gone
26:27I'd never get bounced on
26:30Here's a small taste
26:31Of what happens next
26:32On Dog Park
26:33Of course they offered you a job
26:34We'll want to keep you forever
26:35How did Roland react?
26:36I haven't told Roland yet
26:37I just hope I don't fuck it up
26:39You will definitely fuck it up
26:41You're home early
26:42Just wanted to check in on
26:43Mia, you know, the breakup
26:45And Roland
26:46Hey, Penny
26:47Stand down
26:48It was not on trial
26:49But I seriously
26:49Did not want to leave
26:50Without saying goodbye to you all
26:51So
26:51Take us with you, please
26:53I love you guys all so much
26:55It is summer in America
26:57I don't have anything to wear
26:58I don't have a hat
26:59I don't have sunnies
26:59I don't have a bikini
27:00I don't have anything
27:01You've got a hat?
27:01Dad, stop being crazy
27:03Okay, that's my cue
27:04Well, this is nice
27:06Three of us out together
27:07To yum cha
27:08In a new place
27:09Never been before
27:10We've been here before
27:11More than once
27:12Oh
27:14Well, still
27:15It's nice
27:16Was he always like this?
27:18Not always
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