Two misguided youths join the reserves to make some money for their entrepreneurial dreams. No sooner than they finish basic training are they called up to do their part to save the free world.
*
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*
#watchfreemovie
#watcnow
#fullmovie
#watchonlinemovie
#freestreaming
#StreamingNow
#MovieRecommendations
#MustWatch
#ClassicMovies
#Thriller
#Mystery
#WatchOnline
#TopRatedMovies
#CinemaLovers
#DramaFilm
#ForeignFilms
#AwardWinning
#MovieOfTheDay
#InstantClassic
#FeelGoodMovies
#RetroMovies
#MovieClips
#BestCinematography
#StreamingTonight
#LateNightMovies
#RomanticDrama
#Top10Movies
#PopcornTime
#MovieMarathon
#LoveStory
#romanticmovie
#WatchFree
#FreeMoviesOnline
#FilmOfTheYear
#BestMoviesEver
#Comedy
#FunnyMovie
#mustwatchmovie
#Movie
#Film
#filme
#Movies
#FullMovies
#ActionMovies
#ComedyMovies
#HorrorMovies
#DramaMovies
#RomanticMovies
#ThrillerMovies
#EuropeanFilms
#europeanmovie
#FrenchCinema
#SpanishMovies
#ItalianFilms
#GermanMovies
#EuropeanMovieClips
#EuropeanFilmFestival
#BestEuropeanMovies
#TopEuropeanFilms
#ClassicEuropeanCinema
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Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:01See how I just blow those guys? Look, and there's the thing.
00:00:04Look up! Look up! Look up!
00:00:05No one!
00:00:06Huh?
00:00:08Game over you again!
00:00:11Shouldn't we get back to work?
00:00:12I'm working. Look, I'm testing out new products.
00:00:14What are you so paranoid for anyways?
00:00:16Pretty soon we're gonna have our own store.
00:00:18Look, Quinn's gonna fire your ass from this place.
00:00:20Do you think I'm scared of that?
00:00:22What is he? Looks like a lurch.
00:00:24Hey, I'm Quinn.
00:00:26Are you afraid of him? No.
00:00:28Bones!
00:00:30Quinn's looking for you.
00:00:32I told him you were playing video games.
00:00:34Here, hold this, okay? I gotta do something.
00:00:36Oh, yeah, you're not afraid, huh?
00:00:38Bop, bop, bop!
00:01:05This is all for you. See all the money I'm saving?
00:01:09Wow, Quinn, look at you. You're looking fantastic. Is that a new suit?
00:01:12It's gotta be Armando.
00:01:15Oh, it's JCPenney.
00:01:18Oh, it's JCPenney.
00:01:18Well, at least you wear it well.
00:01:19Is that brood I smell?
00:01:21What did we say about leaving the sales floor?
00:01:24You told me not to and I won't.
00:01:25If this place catches fire, I'm selling tape decks to the firemen.
00:01:28You're not selling anything to anybody.
00:01:31That's why we're letting you go.
00:01:33Where?
00:01:33Home.
00:01:34No, no, no, Quinn. Hey, hey, you can't fire me.
00:01:36Come on, I'm a crazy boy. I'm a dedicated crazy boy.
00:01:40Bones, let's not drag this out.
00:01:41No, Quinn, hey, look, come on, please.
00:01:43I mean, my rent's due.
00:01:45My mom, she needs another tummy tuck.
00:01:47Please, come on.
00:01:47No, Bones. No, not this time.
00:01:49Please, there's a lot of personal...
00:01:51Please don't let me...
00:01:52Please don't let me go, Quinn. I could be crazier.
00:01:54Let go of my life.
00:01:56I could be totally insane.
00:02:00Bones, let go of my life.
00:02:01Bones, you have a customer waiting.
00:02:04You'll have to excuse me, Mr. Quinn.
00:02:06I have a customer.
00:02:07A customer who evidently asked for me by name.
00:02:15Hi, may I help you, miss?
00:02:16Yes, you sold me this watchman last week
00:02:19and I'm afraid I have to return it.
00:02:21See, I knew you'd be returning it.
00:02:23It's too small to ruin your eyesight.
00:02:25And besides, I could tell the one you really want is this one.
00:02:27This is our top of the line.
00:02:29Our very best 35-inch projection stereo color monitor
00:02:33with advanced super digital PMP.
00:02:36I'm sorry, that's way out of my price range.
00:02:38Not with our $200 rebate.
00:02:40No money down, 10-month deferred, 64-month layaway plan.
00:02:44You ask yourself, how could it be, right?
00:02:47Because we're a crazy boys.
00:02:51Sorry, they make us do that.
00:02:52That's a very nice offer, but this is just...
00:02:55Plus this screen, though, it promotes good eyesight.
00:02:58Really?
00:02:59Uh-huh.
00:02:59Four out of five optometrists recommend it.
00:03:03Okay.
00:03:05I'll take it.
00:03:06Okay.
00:03:06Here you go.
00:03:07Fantastic.
00:03:07I'm gonna take this to the cashier and I'm gonna arrange everything.
00:03:11Thank you very much.
00:03:12Come to the front.
00:03:13You're needed for a carry-out.
00:03:15Huh?
00:03:17Hmm?
00:03:18Come on.
00:03:18Am I not still a crazy boy?
00:03:23That is brute I smell, you pervert.
00:03:27usion celebrity Jane Essex, Green Walls boring, all the sports figure was discovered ransacking the stars home last night.
00:03:34Come.
00:03:35Come on.
00:03:42Gabriella, you were outstanding.
00:03:44Yeah, right. This is the last time I save your butt, okay?
00:03:48I work, too, you know?
00:03:49I know. It was an emergency. The guy was about to fire me.
00:03:51Right. It's always an emergency. They better take that TV back.
00:03:55Hey, they're gonna take it back.
00:03:57Now, how about just giving your little Italian sausage man a little?
00:04:02Cassie-poo.
00:04:03Facilities in Chad, the U.S. has issued strong warnings that...
00:04:08You are so irresponsible.
00:04:10Can't you be serious for one minute?
00:04:13It's okay. I'll be serious. Let's get naked.
00:04:17Not now. Not here.
00:04:19Why? Don't you love me anymore?
00:04:21Yes, yes, of course I love you.
00:04:23Yeah, but look, your boss is gonna catch us.
00:04:27I don't care about that perverted fat's on a JCPenney suit.
00:04:31Ooh!
00:04:32Bones!
00:04:33Jack, turn it off!
00:04:35Turn it off!
00:04:37Ah!
00:04:40Ah!
00:04:42Ah!
00:04:42Ah!
00:04:45Ah...
00:04:46Ah...
00:04:46Ah...
00:04:47Ah...
00:04:47Ah...
00:04:47Well, ah...
00:04:49Ah...
00:04:52Ah...
00:04:54I can't believe he actually fired us.
00:04:57Oh, come on, Bones, we blew up 22 TV sets.
00:04:59Yeah, but don't those things come with warranties?
00:05:01I'm sorry, man.
00:05:02You know, I didn't realize Quinn could see you in all those TVs.
00:05:05No problemo, my friend.
00:05:06I was sick of getting down on my knees for that guy anyways.
00:05:09Whoa, Bones, I had no idea.
00:05:13Begging for my job.
00:05:15You know what, Jack, though?
00:05:16This is amazing.
00:05:17You know what this does?
00:05:18Yeah.
00:05:18This brings us one step closer to the, uh, storm.
00:05:23No, no, no.
00:05:23What this does is it brings us one step closer to living in the dumpster.
00:05:27How are we going to get the rent for the store if we don't have rent for our apartment?
00:05:31Excuse me, can we play through?
00:05:33Yeah.
00:05:35Sorry, we're just discussing.
00:05:42Hey, Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines.
00:05:47No.
00:05:48Did you order a code red?
00:05:51Answer me.
00:05:52Did you order a code red, man?
00:05:54You want the truth.
00:05:55You can't handle the truth.
00:05:57Yay.
00:05:58He's goofing off.
00:06:00Wow, that was my Nicholson impression.
00:06:03Good.
00:06:04I do it sometimes when I play golf.
00:06:08Bones, come on.
00:06:09I couldn't help myself.
00:06:10I'm sorry.
00:06:11When you join the Army, is it true that you have to give your whole life away?
00:06:14Nah, something like that with us.
00:06:16We're in the reserves.
00:06:17What's that?
00:06:19Let's just get this straight here.
00:06:22After our basic training, we owe you two weeks a year, one week and a month, for which we get
00:06:26paid.
00:06:27And then on top of it, you're going to throw in $2,500 just for signing up?
00:06:33Basically, yes.
00:06:35Wow.
00:06:36Well, then how come everybody isn't in the reserves?
00:06:39Do people actually know about this stuff?
00:06:41Well, we do try to advertise.
00:06:45Oh, yeah.
00:06:45It's not a job.
00:06:47It's an adventure.
00:06:48No, that's the Navy.
00:06:50The few and the proud?
00:06:51No, that's the Marines.
00:06:53Keep going, going, and gone?
00:06:55No, no.
00:06:56That's the Energizer, buddy.
00:06:58Gentlemen, we're be all you can be.
00:07:01Yeah.
00:07:02In the Army.
00:07:05You need us, and we need you.
00:07:07It's a win-win situation.
00:07:09I got one more question.
00:07:11Could I get a pen?
00:07:12Oh, no.
00:07:13Actually, could we just have a second amongst ourselves?
00:07:16Certainly.
00:07:17Take all the time you need.
00:07:19Just hold that ballpoint.
00:07:24Just one...
00:07:25This is insane.
00:07:27Why doesn't everybody join when you're listening to him in there?
00:07:30Shh.
00:07:31It's like joining a health spa, only they pay us.
00:07:34Oh, my God.
00:07:35You're going nuts.
00:07:35Okay, we are the beneficiaries.
00:07:37We get a guaranteed check for eight years, and a special skill.
00:07:41A special skill.
00:07:42Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:07:43Look at the pay of us.
00:07:44Here we go.
00:07:45Land combat missile op.
00:07:48Opportunities.
00:07:48Tactical fire specialist.
00:07:50You heard him talking about combat pay, right?
00:07:52You know, you have to be in combat to get paid for that, right?
00:07:56He said reserves aren't called up unless there's a major conflict.
00:07:59When was the last war, huh?
00:08:01World War II?
00:08:02No.
00:08:0320 years ago.
00:08:04Have you ever heard of Vietnam?
00:08:06Huh?
00:08:06Desert storm?
00:08:08No.
00:08:08Uh-uh.
00:08:09What?
00:08:10I'm kidding.
00:08:11Give me the brochure.
00:08:12We're going to go to the unemployment office.
00:08:14No, just let me see.
00:08:15Let me just try it.
00:08:16Tank turret repair, land mining specialist.
00:08:19Water purification?
00:08:21Water purification.
00:08:23That's it.
00:08:24What?
00:08:25Water purification.
00:08:26I'm telling you it's a snap.
00:08:27My brother's a pool man.
00:08:28Hey, look, you take dirty water and you make it clean.
00:08:32How hard can that be?
00:08:33I don't know.
00:08:34And hey, if there's a war, what are we going to go in there with?
00:08:37Water balloons?
00:08:39That's, I mean, but, but.
00:08:41Yeah.
00:08:42It's for our future.
00:08:44Okay.
00:08:44If we could sign up right now, we'd get a guarantee check for $2,500.
00:08:48A few times that times, do you?
00:08:50Wow.
00:08:53That's $6,000.
00:08:55That's a nice chunk of change.
00:08:57Yeah.
00:08:57But, hey, this was for our store.
00:09:03Yeah.
00:09:04Look, I'll even give you first billing.
00:09:06No, you don't have to do that.
00:09:07Jacks and Boneses.
00:09:10Oh.
00:09:11Atlas of Stareos.
00:09:13Just do it.
00:09:13All right, all right, all right.
00:09:14Let's do it.
00:09:15Oh.
00:09:16Yes.
00:09:23Oh.
00:09:30Oh.
00:09:32Oh.
00:09:33Oh.
00:09:41Oh.
00:09:46All right, um, see, okay, everybody knows me for my hair, okay, what I need you to do is just,
00:09:57just a little bit on the side, not a whole bunch, and kind of keep, like, it's so still.
00:10:01I'd like to see you in something short, but sassy, a real 90s look, something that works
00:10:05as well on the rifle range as it does in the disco. Okay, that's perfect.
00:10:12Get a haircut and get a real job.
00:10:15All right.
00:10:21Ah!
00:10:29It's my head. I mean, look at it. Does it look bigger than it?
00:10:35I mean, do I look like a baked potato? Honestly?
00:10:38Yeah, honestly.
00:10:39It looks great. It really does.
00:10:41Really?
00:10:42Really.
00:10:43Really?
00:10:44It looks macho.
00:10:46All right. Look at these, man. Look at these.
00:10:50Army issued.
00:10:51See, I think those are unique.
00:10:53Idiotic.
00:10:54No, those are unique. See, you're distinctive.
00:10:56No one has them.
00:10:57Really?
00:10:58You're king.
00:10:59All right.
00:10:59One of a kind.
00:11:01They built them all when they made you, Jack.
00:11:22Mom's, I can't. I can't do it.
00:11:25I can't do it, man.
00:11:26Dad, I can't do it.
00:11:27This is just like your childhood, remember?
00:11:32Yeah. Yeah, you're right. You're right. That guy is exactly like my dad.
00:11:36See? Come on.
00:11:38Wait a minute, though. My childhood sucked.
00:11:40No, I can't do it, man. I can't handle being yelled at by some muscle-bound drill sergeant. No, man.
00:11:46I can't do it.
00:11:48Get the hell off the truck.
00:11:52Oh, whoa.
00:11:54She can drill me any time.
00:11:57On the double right now. Come on. Move it. Move it.
00:12:00Hello, sweet pants.
00:12:02Get down here. Get down here.
00:12:05Rust up.
00:12:06And take those glasses off.
00:12:08What do you think? You want something? Beat yourself up?
00:12:10No.
00:12:10What's your name, private?
00:12:11Phone's coming. We're reporting for duty, sir.
00:12:14All right.
00:12:14I mean, man, sergeant. Whatever.
00:12:18You will address me as drill sergeant.
00:12:21Don't you understand?
00:12:25Yes, but you don't need to yell, because look, I'm standing right here.
00:12:28I'm not yelling at you, private. Drill sergeants do not yell.
00:12:31We simply speak in a voice loud enough so everyone can hear.
00:12:34That way we all learn from each other's mistakes.
00:12:37Oh, okay. Thanks for explaining it.
00:12:39From here on out, your butt is mine.
00:12:42You will obey every order without question.
00:12:48Grunt.
00:12:52Oh, you a funny boy, huh?
00:12:54Cutie pie, right?
00:12:55Well, I don't know you, but I don't even like you.
00:12:57And I make it my personal mission to turn you into a soldier.
00:13:01For the next eight weeks, I'll be all over your butt like white on rice.
00:13:06Is that a promise?
00:13:09Give me 20.
00:13:11I want my wallet.
00:13:13Drop and give me 20.
00:13:14I can't hold this.
00:13:15Boy, you better get on that ground and give me them push-ups.
00:13:18It's been a while.
00:13:21All the way up and down, right?
00:13:24Pump!
00:13:24Get up!
00:13:27Whoa!
00:13:29Is that good?
00:13:37Get up!
00:13:39Get up!
00:13:42Everybody up!
00:13:46On your feet!
00:13:48I'm going to crash right now, sleeping beauties!
00:13:56Get your butt off that rack!
00:14:06Ow!
00:14:06Ow!
00:14:07Ow!
00:14:08I'm off!
00:14:09I'm off!
00:14:10I'm off!
00:14:12Next hand to the lamp!
00:14:14Next hand to the lamp!
00:14:16All right!
00:14:22All right!
00:14:23This is my one of the men's and the kids up again in Bradfield!
00:14:25And I have to say run and play, but I say go, go!
00:14:39Jack!
00:14:40Yeah?
00:14:41Run!
00:14:43Where'd the sun go?
00:14:45There is no sun anymore, Burris.
00:14:47All right!
00:14:48The sun is gone.
00:14:49All right!
00:14:51We died, and this is hell.
00:14:53Oh, okay.
00:14:54Thanks for explaining.
00:14:55All right!
00:15:00Private, he's got that weapon around backwards.
00:15:04Thanks.
00:15:06All right.
00:15:08All right.
00:15:09All right.
00:15:12All right.
00:15:14See the picture on the front of this weapon?
00:15:20It's put there for privates like you.
00:15:24It's idiot-proof.
00:15:28Damn it!
00:15:30Mr. Jett!
00:15:33The gig line runs down the seam of your shirt, through the edge of your belt buckle, down
00:15:38the seam of your zipper.
00:15:39This is a straight gig line.
00:15:42See it.
00:15:44Learn it.
00:15:45Do it.
00:15:52From here on out, anyone without a straight gig line will have to answer to me.
00:16:03Conway, what the hell is this?
00:16:06Joe Sargent, I guess my gig line needs straightening, huh?
00:16:12Oh.
00:16:14Oh.
00:16:18Thank you, Joe Sargent.
00:16:20Don't thank me.
00:16:21Thank your recruiter.
00:16:29Come on, boy.
00:16:30Come on.
00:16:30You can't do it.
00:16:31I know you can't do it.
00:16:34There are two types of bayonet fighters, the quick and the dead.
00:16:37What are you?
00:16:38What are they?
00:16:39What are you?
00:16:40What are they?
00:16:42What are you?
00:16:43What are they?
00:16:44They need volunteers!
00:16:48Are you crazy?
00:16:49I sure am.
00:16:50I'm a crazy boy.
00:16:53Hello.
00:16:55Conway.
00:16:56Yes, ma'am.
00:16:57Come here.
00:16:58I'm on my way.
00:17:00Woo!
00:17:02Huh.
00:17:03Hi.
00:17:04Hit me.
00:17:05Let's not fight.
00:17:06Come here.
00:17:07Hit me or you'll be sorry.
00:17:09I can't hit you.
00:17:10You're a girl.
00:17:12And I love you.
00:17:16You've got two seconds to hit me.
00:17:23Okay, but this is gonna hurt.
00:17:24Any other volunteers?
00:17:25I see it.
00:17:28Oh, shit.
00:17:29I'm sorry.
00:17:30I was just gonna...
00:17:31I'm gonna teach you a lesson.
00:17:34Never!
00:17:35Never!
00:17:36Drop!
00:17:39You're gone!
00:17:42Oh, got it.
00:17:46Can I please throw up now?
00:17:51Get up!
00:17:52Get up!
00:17:52Get mad!
00:17:53You get mad, you!
00:17:54Get mad at me!
00:17:56Now, listen to me very carefully, Private.
00:17:57This is exactly the same as practice, but this is a real live grenade.
00:18:01I want you to do exactly as you've been trained.
00:18:03Yes, Joe Sergeant.
00:18:05When I give the command to execute, I want you to drop the pin, throw the grenade.
00:18:08Yes, Joe Sergeant.
00:18:10Drop the pin, throw the grenade.
00:18:12Yes, Joe Sergeant.
00:18:14Execute.
00:18:18Move it!
00:18:31Thanks, Joe Sergeant.
00:18:33You saved my life.
00:18:34I owe you one.
00:18:36No, you owe me 50!
00:18:4850!
00:18:50Mama, mama, can't you see?
00:18:53Mama, mama, can't you see?
00:18:56Drill Sergeant Lamb made a man out of me.
00:18:59Drill Sergeant Lamb made a man out of me.
00:19:01And that I will obey the orders of the President of the United States.
00:19:06And I will obey the orders of the President of the United States.
00:19:10And the orders of the officers appointed over me.
00:19:13And the orders of the officers appointed over me.
00:19:16According to regulations.
00:19:18According to regulations.
00:19:20And the Uniform Code of Military Justice.
00:19:23And the Uniform Code of Military Justice.
00:19:26So help me God.
00:19:27So help me God.
00:19:34It's the uniforms man private Conway
00:19:43Never thought I'd say this, but I think I've done them possible. I've turned into soldiers. Thank you drill sergeant
00:19:49carry on
00:20:01Uh, is this, uh, unit 341? That's us, soldier. Hey, Bones Conway here. This is my partner, Jack. Hi, Christine.
00:20:09Nice to meet you. You look like we'll be working together. Christine a la G.I. Jane, right? What brings
00:20:15a pretty little lady like you to Water Pier? I want an infantry, but until they ask that crap about
00:20:21women not being allowed in combat, I'll just have to settle for kicking your little butt. Oh, that would be
00:20:27nice.
00:20:30Feisty one, huh? I like that. Shut up.
00:20:39I'm gonna have to kill your friend. Hey, Bones Conway. Hey, uh, Fred Osthoff. Good to meet you.
00:20:46You okay, Fred? Oh, man, I'm fine. Yeah. Thanks. Thank you.
00:20:52So, uh, what do you do when you don't purify water? Well, I'm going into my, uh, final year of
00:20:57dental school.
00:20:59Wow. And now, now that is great. No, it's not. Why? Did you know that dentists are more feared and
00:21:07loathed than any other profession? That's including lawyers.
00:21:10No, see, I don't think people hate dentists. It's just the sound of that drill. Yeah, and then they stick
00:21:16that sucking thing in the back of your mouth, like this. And the nurse says, oh, yeah, that.
00:21:21And then they jam those cardboard x-ray things, and then they, and you know when there's, you have a
00:21:27cavity, and they do that little pointy thing, and then, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:21:31Right? The nurse leaves, and she goes to lunch. And she jams it out there, right?
00:21:37Meanwhile, there is a lead apron, right, on the thing, and you're sitting there, like,
00:21:47See? See? That's what I'm talking about.
00:21:50If you don't want to talk about it, it's okay.
00:21:53Oh, no, no, no, it's good. We should talk about it, because my therapist said that I need to get
00:21:57it out, kind of like an emotional enema.
00:21:59So we talked about it, and said, why not join the Army Reserve? Be all that you can be on
00:22:06the weekends.
00:22:09Maybe it'd help me to face those things in my life that I'm most afraid of.
00:22:14And what are you afraid of?
00:22:16Uh, well, I'd have to say, uh, damn near everything.
00:22:21Floss?
00:22:23Hey.
00:22:24Keep it.
00:22:29Good morning. Purifying our water is one of the most vital operations in the military.
00:22:35It is absolutely vital that you know your equipment inside and out.
00:22:46Two soldiers must man the hose at all times.
00:22:50This is for your own safety, people.
00:22:53Okay.
00:22:54Never lose control of your hose.
00:22:57Ah!
00:23:05After careful training, you will be able to produce potable water from the most disgusting, swampy, parasite-infected, diseased water.
00:23:14Hey, guys!
00:23:15Look!
00:23:16It's our first glass of purified water.
00:23:19All right.
00:23:21Go for it, man. Try it.
00:23:24Nah, I'm not gonna try.
00:23:26Hey, you try it.
00:23:27I'm not gonna try it.
00:23:29We should get Christine.
00:23:31Yeah!
00:23:32She'll taste anything.
00:23:37I'm not gonna try it.
00:23:40Let's get Freddy.
00:23:42Okay.
00:23:42Oh, Freddy!
00:23:44No, no, thanks. I'm allergic. It'll make me break out.
00:23:48Well, then who's gonna try it?
00:24:07Who's the leader of this outfit?
00:24:09He is.
00:24:13Son, I've been doing this for a long time, and I gotta say, this is the best damn glass of
00:24:19purified water I ever had.
00:24:21Congratulations.
00:24:22You keep this up, and I'll be putting you in for private first class.
00:24:25Thank you, Sergeant.
00:24:27But I could not have done it without the inspirational guidance of my brother, the poor man.
00:24:40I'm back, honey.
00:24:44Excuse me.
00:24:46Better go freshen up.
00:24:50You're not gonna...
00:25:17Better go freshen up.
00:25:21It's...
00:25:23Better go awhile.
00:25:24Better go freshen up.
00:25:24Better go freshen.
00:25:28Tinto fine.atura.
00:25:40Tinto
00:25:41fine. Tinto
00:25:42fine. Tinto
00:25:47Oh, man.
00:25:49Honey, wait, wait. Hold it here a second.
00:25:51Listen, hey, we're in the middle of the party here.
00:25:53You know, your friends might come in.
00:25:54That'd be cool.
00:25:55I don't think so. I think it's very rude
00:25:57if we stay away more than a couple of minutes.
00:25:59Two minutes? That's perfect.
00:26:01We'll have time to cuddle afterwards.
00:26:06Hold that thought.
00:26:09Somebody better be dead.
00:26:11Hello?
00:26:12This is an official message.
00:26:14I saw a flock of wild geese migrating south.
00:26:19I say again.
00:26:20The geese are migrating south.
00:26:23Yeah, well, uh, my goose is about to lay a golden egg.
00:26:26So you're gonna have to cruise the south solo, okay?
00:26:29Have a nice flight.
00:26:30Who was it?
00:26:31Someone who's into birds.
00:26:33I don't know.
00:26:33Uh-oh!
00:26:40Look, you saw the goose.
00:26:42I'm the walrus.
00:26:42I'm tall as dead.
00:26:43And I'm trying to bury my beak here.
00:26:45So give it a rest.
00:26:46All right, that's it.
00:27:01Jack, get the phone.
00:27:03Who is it?
00:27:04It's a freak going on about wild geese migrating.
00:27:07Hello?
00:27:08Phone!
00:27:08It's a freak going on about wild geese migrating.
00:27:11What?
00:27:12What?
00:27:13Christine, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't.
00:27:16Which way?
00:27:17Who cares?
00:27:18North or south?
00:27:19South.
00:27:21Yes!
00:27:22Yes!
00:27:23Yes!
00:27:23What?
00:27:25You guys, don't you remember?
00:27:27About the code?
00:27:30So that if we got called up for active duty, then we would know that it was for real.
00:27:32It's gotta be a mistake.
00:27:35It's gotta be Chad.
00:27:36Hello, Mama?
00:27:38It's Frederick.
00:27:39Uh, you sitting down?
00:27:42Chad is in the African country, the one that Libby's about to invade.
00:27:45Uh, turn off the music.
00:27:50Do you remember when you told me that every black man should visit the motherland?
00:27:53Bones, why do you think I chose water purification?
00:27:57Is your brother a poor man?
00:27:59No, it's because Chad is in a desert.
00:28:02And water purification is the reserve occupation most likely to be called up if there's a desert war.
00:28:08And there's a desert war, and we're going!
00:28:12That's it, Bones.
00:28:13I'm gonna kill you.
00:28:14Look, you gotta relax here, okay?
00:28:16I'm gonna get us out of this one.
00:28:19Trust me.
00:28:30At ease.
00:28:32Sir, I know we're going to Chad, but there's something that you need to know about Jack and I before
00:28:38we go, sir.
00:28:39Yes?
00:28:41Uh, uh, Bones and I are very close, uh, friends.
00:28:47Very.
00:28:48Oh, I see.
00:28:50In that case, boys, I guess you're not going to Chad.
00:28:57Sorry to disappoint you, sir.
00:29:03Uh, just one thing.
00:29:07Anything.
00:29:09Kiss him.
00:29:12Excuse me?
00:29:14Kiss your friend.
00:29:16You don't have a problem with that, now, do you?
00:29:20Oh, no.
00:29:22He kisses me every day.
00:29:41Just do it.
00:29:49Is it hot in Chad?
00:29:52As the Libyan raids against U.N. forces near the border continue, this U.S. force is being ready to
00:29:58deter the invasion threatened by the Libyan leader in his television broadcast last night.
00:30:04And as the build-up here continues, the first Army Reserve units arrived here today.
00:30:09These units will aid in the supply and logistical support for the growing U.S. presence here.
00:30:14These troops are in high spirits, and the morale is high, and their hopes are high.
00:30:19And this mission will remain a peaceful.
00:30:22I've got to go, man.
00:30:23I've got to go, man.
00:30:23I've got to go, man.
00:30:50If one gear slips in my clock, my clock will tell the wrong time.
00:30:54If one spring is loose in my clock, my clock will tell the wrong time.
00:30:58First Sergeant Wilmins' license clock will tell the right time.
00:31:00Do you understand me?
00:31:02Yes, Sergeant.
00:31:04what did he just say i don't know something about his clock being broken
00:31:10have my words fallen upon deaf ears yes sergeant i mean no sergeant don't you know i'm your first
00:31:18sergeant well actually i wish you were my first sergeant but i already had a couple ones already
00:31:27drop and give me push-ups you will continue to do push-ups until you learn to address me
00:31:32first sergeant use that clear yes first sergeant one two first sergeant three first sergeant four
00:31:40first sergeant five first sergeant don't eyeball me first sergeant seven first sergeant eight first
00:31:47sergeant nine first sergeant ten first sergeant eleven first sergeant twelve first sergeant thirteen
00:31:54first sergeant fourteen first sergeant one hundred twenty three first sergeant one hundred twenty
00:31:59four first sergeant that's enough son i bet you did a lot of push-ups when you were in basic
00:32:06training
00:32:07didn't you yes first sergeant well you just did your last push-up soldier i will never ask you
00:32:11to do another thank you first sergeant you just graduated the peeling potatoes six thousand five
00:32:17hundred and forty three for sergeant six thousand five hundred and forty four for sergeant for sergeant
00:32:24six thousand five hundred five six thousand one six hundred thousand fifty four hundred fifty two
00:32:33first sergeant okay shit i lost count but we got it we got it we got it look
00:32:56oh look hey it's the sunroof
00:33:21oh look gabrielle tucked in a little note into my duffel bag oh yeah dear bones
00:33:29by the time you read this i will already be what i will already be in milan with
00:33:36we do oh she dumped you sorry bones i must say though this guy sounds really nice he's got a
00:33:45villa right on the adriatic sea jack don't rub it in no no you're better off she's a horrible speller
00:33:52there's only one s and loser look at that and immature-ish i don't even think that's a word
00:33:57gabriella gabriella she she broke my heart sorry well fortunately i'm too shallow to stay bummed for too long
00:34:09uh would you mind turn the light off please jack oh yeah fred you checked your your bag for scorpions
00:34:16right scorpions he's messing with you fred no i'm not chad is the scorpion capital of the world
00:34:24yep fred they're big ones too about as big as my fist they outnumber
00:34:28people two to one and that margin grows with every sting so have a good sleep fred
00:34:36good night everybody nice to alan
00:34:39good night down boy
00:34:53i got one i got one
00:34:57i got one
00:35:10very funny we're just trying to help you get over your fears fred really fred don't worry about it
00:35:16you come and sleep with me yeah well i i'd rather take my chances with the scorpion thank you
00:35:25god i hate this it's not that bad it's like camp
00:35:29god
00:35:31john jacob jingle heimer smith
00:35:35that's my name too
00:35:38whenever we go
00:35:39whenever we go
00:35:41there goes john jacob jingle heimer smith
00:35:44john jacob jingle heimer smith
00:35:49come on
00:35:51that's my name too
00:35:53john jacob jingle heimer smith
00:36:23Don't eat the chicken.
00:36:25And it tastes just like frog.
00:36:28Thanks.
00:36:30Enjoy.
00:36:36Ready.
00:36:37Go.
00:36:41Who was that?
00:36:44Special forces.
00:36:4814.11 seconds.
00:36:51Damn.
00:36:52Try it again.
00:36:55He's incredible.
00:36:58Time me.
00:37:00All right.
00:37:03Go.
00:37:05Go.
00:37:06Shoo, shoo, shoo, shoo.
00:37:10Shoo, shoo, shoo.
00:37:16Well, that is not good.
00:37:18What happened?
00:37:18That is not good.
00:37:27Oh, great.
00:37:28He's coming over.
00:37:29Just don't look at him.
00:37:32You lose something?
00:37:35Yeah, thanks.
00:37:38Put it in my lasagna.
00:37:40You better call 911, get an ambulance, find a doctor, order a toe tag,
00:37:43because I'm going to tear off your head and spit down your neck.
00:37:45Do you understand me, boy?
00:37:49Hey, hey.
00:37:52You have to relax a little.
00:37:54Take it easy.
00:37:56We're in the middle of a war, and we're on the same side.
00:38:03Would America have won the Civil War
00:38:08if Benjamin Franklin did not get along with Eleanor Roosevelt?
00:38:12Right on.
00:38:12A little knowledge.
00:38:14A little knowledge to partay.
00:38:17Go ahead, man.
00:38:19If our soldiers, our American soldiers,
00:38:22acted like this in Desert Storm,
00:38:25Saddam Hussein would still be running Iraq.
00:38:28Uh, what?
00:38:35So maybe we're a bunch of reservists fresh off the plane, right?
00:38:38It's obvious.
00:38:39But you regular guys, you've been here so long
00:38:42that your brains are fried.
00:38:45So I guess what I'm really trying to say is...
00:38:48Come on, genius.
00:38:51That doesn't mean we all can't be friends.
00:38:55Please.
00:38:56There's only one problem with you, Newbie's home.
00:38:58Tell the truth, man.
00:39:00You don't eat enough.
00:39:02No, that's...
00:39:06That's...
00:39:06Son!
00:39:19As you were.
00:39:27Son.
00:39:29I bet the mess sergeant could use a volunteer to peel potatoes.
00:39:33Yes, sir.
00:39:34Can we count on you?
00:39:35Yes, sir.
00:39:37Carry on.
00:39:40I happen to know, on this base, there's not one unpeeled potato.
00:39:58I heard the Libyans are already backing down, and we're going to be out of here in two weeks.
00:40:02Yeah?
00:40:03Well, I hear they're sending 20,000 more troops, and we're going to be here until Christmas.
00:40:07All right, then.
00:40:08Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
00:40:10Where are you going?
00:40:12It's not like I got bad breath.
00:40:20Nope.
00:40:22And until they comply with you and Resolution 991, I don't think anybody's going anywhere.
00:40:29Oh, you're amazing, Christine.
00:40:31How do you keep up with all that stuff?
00:40:36Christine?
00:40:38Christine?
00:40:42All right, quit screwing around.
00:40:46Chris, send some water with this mud.
00:40:56Chris!
00:41:01Jack?
00:41:07Fred!
00:41:13How does it feel to be dead, water boy?
00:41:18I don't know.
00:41:19How does it feel to be a dick, dick?
00:41:28Damn it!
00:41:30Where's my water?
00:41:31There was none delivered last night, first sergeant.
00:41:37Goddamn piece of shit, newbies.
00:41:39How am I going to run a decent HQ without my coffee?
00:41:47That is truly a pathetic sight.
00:41:51Who perpetrated this?
00:42:00Ow!
00:42:06Who did this to you?
00:42:08I can't tell you, first sergeant.
00:42:10What?
00:42:10You have too much honor?
00:42:12Oh.
00:42:14I've been threatened with death.
00:42:16Untie these clowns.
00:42:17And give me some water!
00:42:19Ow!
00:42:27I have an announcement.
00:42:29Do you guys want your water?
00:42:30Because you're looking a little bit crispy.
00:42:32You better what?
00:42:33Oh, I know, I know, I know.
00:42:34Tell me if this is right.
00:42:36I better call 976.
00:42:38Find a doctor and tag an ambulance.
00:42:40Because you're going to tear off my toe and spit down my head, right?
00:42:43Do you guys want your water or not?
00:42:45Sergeant!
00:42:47Report to Captain Roberts.
00:42:48You've got a mission.
00:42:50Water, boys.
00:42:53Report to 1st Sergeant Williams.
00:42:54You've got a mission, too.
00:42:56Listen up!
00:42:57Captain Denby says we're going to resupply the forward UN peacekeeping base.
00:43:02This is a very simple, routine mission.
00:43:05You will fall into line in a very large, very prepared convoy.
00:43:09All you have to do is follow the truck in front of you.
00:43:13When your troops get thirsty, you will give them water.
00:43:16Conway, you look confused.
00:43:18Are you sure you want to send us to a forward area?
00:43:20We're just water, boys.
00:43:21You are soldiers.
00:43:23You will get in that convoy.
00:43:24And you will be a credit to the United States Army.
00:43:26Is that clear?
00:43:27Yes, 1st Sergeant!
00:43:29Then muscle your lollygagging bus for getting ticket.
00:43:30Move out!
00:43:31Yes, 1st Sergeant!
00:44:01Damn it!
00:44:02Forget it.
00:44:03They're going to send a tow truck.
00:44:08Man, what I wouldn't do for a double meat chili cheeseburger right now.
00:44:13No.
00:44:13A margarita on the rocks.
00:44:18Or some fresh, buttery Jiffy Pop.
00:44:21That's not popcorn, boys.
00:44:24Huh?
00:44:25That convoy's under attack.
00:44:29Really?
00:44:30I don't think so.
00:44:33Ow!
00:44:35Maniac shooting at us!
00:44:36A maniac!
00:44:37It's the enemy!
00:44:38What the hell are you doing?
00:44:39Surrendering!
00:44:40Don't shoot!
00:44:41Surrendering!
00:44:46No!
00:44:52Steel!
00:44:56Nice going, Christine.
00:44:58Did you have to shoot so close, huh?
00:45:00You scared the shit out of me.
00:45:01Well, excuse me for living.
00:45:03I was just trying to save your worthless little life.
00:45:05Christine, are you aware that after a near-death experience,
00:45:09there's often a desire to have sex?
00:45:11Yeah, Jack.
00:45:12That's right.
00:45:13I feel it.
00:45:15All right.
00:45:17Just not with you.
00:45:19Ever.
00:45:20Got it?
00:45:21Yeah.
00:45:22Got it.
00:45:23I'm glad we could have this little talk.
00:45:25I didn't feel anything.
00:45:27You guys, let's get out of here.
00:45:29The truck's on fire!
00:45:31Yeah!
00:45:47Stay long!
00:45:49It's gonna...
00:45:56Explode.
00:46:00Where's the phone?
00:46:03Hello!
00:46:11Now, rickety-tick, you're mustering lollygaggin'
00:46:14Let's lollygaggin' out of here!
00:46:27Isn't the road that way?
00:46:29Taking the shortcut.
00:46:30Is there one?
00:46:31Uh-huh.
00:46:32The road curves around like this.
00:46:34All we gotta do is cut the desert here
00:46:37and catch up the convoy over there.
00:46:39Watch out!
00:46:40Come on!
00:46:40You don't know what I'm doing here.
00:46:42I guess this is the wrong time to tell you guys
00:46:44I get very easily car-sinked.
00:47:02Bones, I don't see a road.
00:47:05I have the best sense of direction of anyone you know.
00:47:08The road's over there.
00:47:10Three miles.
00:47:11Maybe four.
00:47:12Oh, yeah.
00:47:13Maybe ten.
00:47:15Maybe twenty.
00:47:17Maybe our truck is sinking.
00:47:21No!
00:47:22No!
00:47:39Push!
00:47:42Hey, forget it, okay?
00:47:43Just shut it down.
00:47:44We'll pick it out.
00:47:45No, stand back.
00:47:46Stand back!
00:47:47I'm gonna rock it!
00:47:54You're quitting.
00:47:54It's not working.
00:47:56You're sucking too much sand in the air filter.
00:47:59I order you to shut it down now.
00:48:02You order me?
00:48:04Yeah, but I'm private first class, okay?
00:48:06I'm ordering you.
00:48:07Come on.
00:48:07The only reason you made private first class
00:48:12is because your brother's a poor man.
00:48:21You're happy?
00:48:22You're happy.
00:48:26Yeah, well, I hope you brought your triple-A card.
00:48:29Let's see.
00:48:36Well, look, you cracked the block.
00:48:38I could have done it if you hadn't stopped me.
00:48:40Yeah, you're so full of it.
00:48:42You know what?
00:48:42Shut up!
00:48:44We gotta figure out what we're gonna do.
00:48:46Well, then why don't you just ask our fearless leader here?
00:48:49Private first class bones, the one with the highest rank.
00:48:52All you had to do, Jack, was just listen to me, okay?
00:48:55I was trying to...
00:48:55All I've ever done is listen to you,
00:48:57and look where it's taken me.
00:48:58Look!
00:48:59We're in the middle of some African hellhole
00:49:02under a flesh-frying sun
00:49:04with the sky filled with vultures
00:49:06ready to pluck out my eyeballs.
00:49:09Vultures don't come around
00:49:10unless something's about to die.
00:49:28Are you ripping the sleeves off your jacket?
00:49:33Oh, that's gonna look sexy.
00:49:36Jack, tomorrow, we have to walk away from this water truck.
00:49:40We have two canteens between us.
00:49:42We're gonna fill up the sleeves of our jackets with water,
00:49:44and then we have more water.
00:49:45Am I the only person who paid attention in survival class?
00:49:52There's a scorpion on my back!
00:49:54There's a scorpion on my back!
00:49:55That's enough!
00:49:57There's not a scorpion on your back!
00:50:00Uh-uh.
00:50:02There is a scorpion on my back!
00:50:04Frank, there's nothing on your back!
00:50:06You keep on imagining things!
00:50:13I needed that.
00:50:14No, I'm sorry I snapped.
00:50:18Look, you don't have to apologize.
00:50:20You're right!
00:50:22I see things very clear now.
00:50:24All right, Fred!
00:50:26Look, guys, I want to apologize to everybody, okay?
00:50:29He's okay!
00:50:29I feel like a brand new man!
00:50:31All right.
00:50:31Now, can we get some rest?
00:50:33Okay.
00:50:34Okay.
00:50:35Okay.
00:50:35Stop our feelings.
00:50:36Stop our feelings.
00:50:37Stop our feelings.
00:50:37Stop.
00:50:39Yeah!
00:50:40Yeah!
00:50:41Uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh!
00:50:44What are you doing?
00:50:46Just felt like...
00:50:48Oh, I...
00:50:48Uh-uh-uh-uh-uh!
00:50:50He's always playing.
00:50:52Did you guys see that thing?
00:50:54It was...
00:51:04Follow me.
00:51:05I know exactly where I'm going.
00:51:09Trust me.
00:51:35You guys, get down.
00:51:36I see something.
00:51:37Get down!
00:51:39Get down!
00:51:48It's a truck!
00:51:50There's the road!
00:51:50We are safe!
00:51:52I told you I had a flawless sense of direction.
00:51:56What a coincidence.
00:51:58That truck looks...
00:52:00That looks like our truck.
00:52:05Shh.
00:52:06Shh.
00:52:06Shh.
00:52:06Shh.
00:52:07Shh.
00:52:09Hey, listen, you guys.
00:52:10Hey.
00:52:10I figured out why we went in circles.
00:52:14Do you remember our map reading class?
00:52:16We didn't follow the sun.
00:52:19Ah.
00:52:20Ah.
00:52:21Ah.
00:52:21Look.
00:52:22This stream is due west.
00:52:25All we have to do is walk away from the sun in the morning and towards the sun in the
00:52:29afternoon, we should be there by nightfall.
00:52:32So you're saying we should risk being dried up into human jerky again just to follow another
00:52:37one of your half-baked plans?
00:52:40I'm not saying anything, okay?
00:52:41I mean, I'm pretty sure this is gonna work.
00:52:43But since I let us down before, I say from here on in, we put everything to a vote.
00:52:49We can't vote.
00:52:51You order, we follow.
00:52:53Okay.
00:52:53Why order us to vote?
00:52:55What?
00:52:56That is not how the army goes.
00:52:57You have to tell us what to do.
00:53:00Well, what if I'm wrong?
00:53:04Then we die.
00:53:10I order us to do a sun-baked plan thing.
00:53:17We're dead.
00:53:21Hey guys, just think of it as a very long day on a very big beach in a very dry
00:53:29year.
00:53:49Hey, hey, hey.
00:53:50Wait a minute.
00:53:51It's the ocean.
00:53:53I don't see anything.
00:53:55What are you, blind?
00:53:56The waves.
00:53:57It's the ocean.
00:53:59It's a mirage.
00:54:01It is a mirage.
00:54:03And there's Caesars.
00:54:04And right across the street is the Barbary Coast where you can get a $3.99 buffet.
00:54:09And it's the ocean!
00:54:11Come on!
00:54:13Come on!
00:54:14Go!
00:54:16Come on!
00:54:18Come on!
00:54:20Come on!
00:54:23Come on!
00:54:25Come on!
00:54:26Come on!
00:54:27Come on!
00:54:27Come on!
00:54:28Come on!
00:54:31Come on!
00:54:32Come on!
00:54:32Come on!
00:54:33Come on!
00:54:34Come on!
00:54:34Here's a canteen.
00:54:35Go get your boy, cause he's buggin'.
00:54:51You okay, man?
00:54:53You okay?
00:54:53Here.
00:54:54Take a sip.
00:54:55Come on!
00:54:57Listen.
00:54:59Look, Jack, we got two choices.
00:55:02One, we could put your clothes back on and get ourselves out of this mess.
00:55:05Go back to Glendale, start up our own store, become rich and famous.
00:55:09Or two, you can lie here butt naked and crushed away, leaving your skull to be found by a young
00:55:15Arabic prince that's gonna use it for an ashtray.
00:55:21You don't want that in your head.
00:55:23You make the call.
00:55:25Come on, let's get out of here.
00:55:27What do you say?
00:55:28Come on.
00:55:29Here.
00:55:31Here.
00:55:32Here.
00:55:32Here.
00:55:33Here.
00:55:33Here.
00:55:34Here.
00:55:34Here.
00:55:35Here.
00:55:37Here.
00:55:37Here.
00:55:41Hey.
00:55:42Oh.
00:55:43Oh, Jack.
00:55:44Look at that ass.
00:55:46Maybe you should stay naked.
00:55:47Get some sun on those cheeks.
00:55:57What?
00:55:58Oh, man.
00:55:59Now, I'm seeing things.
00:56:01The palm trees right on the horizon.
00:56:03Oh, it's another mirage.
00:56:05Oh, my God.
00:56:06I see it, too.
00:56:07It's not a mirage.
00:56:09Those are the palm trees.
00:56:10It's the oasis.
00:56:12Oh, man.
00:56:13You saved our life.
00:56:20Where's my kiss?
00:56:22Christine?
00:56:30The street was due west, right?
00:56:33It was on the map, right?
00:56:35Where's the water?
00:56:39This is sand.
00:56:47Nobody move.
00:56:50There is a big snake right by your feet.
00:56:55No!
00:56:57Thanks for not moving, Jack.
00:57:01Throw me the gun.
00:57:04If you don't attack it, it'll go away.
00:57:07I don't want it to go away.
00:57:09I want to have it for dinner.
00:57:10Throw me the gun.
00:57:24You want some of this, baby, huh?
00:57:26There you go.
00:57:27Come on.
00:57:29Oh, no.
00:57:31I'm still gonna get you.
00:57:35Let it die for me.
00:57:37I'll kill you.
00:57:41Huh?
00:57:43Shoulda-ba-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da.
00:57:50Huh?
00:57:51It's a win-win situation.
00:57:56Will you look at that?
00:57:59Water from the bullet hole.
00:58:04Water!
00:58:06Yeah!
00:58:07Water!
00:58:08Yeah!
00:58:09Water!
00:58:11I can't believe it!
00:58:13Water!
00:58:14Water!
00:58:14Is it Snake yet?
00:58:16Depends how you like it.
00:58:18Well done.
00:58:20He used to be afraid of scorpions.
00:58:22Now he's eating Snake.
00:58:23That is impressive, Brad.
00:58:26Hmm.
00:58:27I thought we were all gonna die.
00:58:30But you pulled us through.
00:58:32I don't know how.
00:58:35But thank you.
00:58:47that was uh
00:58:50pretty exceptional
00:58:53so what are you gonna do if i get us rescued
00:58:59um i will
00:59:02take off all your clothes
00:59:06tie you to the bed
00:59:10rub warm oil all over your body
00:59:14from the bottom of those feet to the top of that head
00:59:19and proceed to have the nastiest
00:59:23freakiest sex with you that you have ever imagined
00:59:29oh that's it damn it i saw her first
00:59:33and look what happens same thing that happened with gabriella
00:59:37i saw her first and and and wanda tushman in the third grade i saw her first and that girl
00:59:43in palm
00:59:43springs it turned out to be the guy i saw that thing first too you know
00:59:47why i'm not just strangling you right now
00:59:50because you can't cook a snake no
00:59:55because no matter how long we've been friends i never thought you'd be the kind of guy that would
01:00:01save our lives let alone kill a snake
01:00:04but you did oh hey man thanks
01:00:09i think it's the un flag
01:00:11we're safe
01:00:14guys christine and i are gonna need some time alone
01:00:17sure man
01:00:18i think it's the most of the feet
01:00:23president in the situation room of the white house today and the president is scheduled to address the nation tomorrow
01:00:28at 6 p.m. eastern standard time
01:00:31we will of course bring that to you live on
01:00:33you are the reservists from glendale california correct
01:00:36this all fuels
01:00:37according to wnr you are presumed dead in a truck explosion
01:00:41um where are we
01:00:45you're on a military base
01:00:46well inside libya
01:00:48that is all you need to know
01:00:50oh i forgot to mention
01:00:53the war is starting tomorrow
01:00:55how'd you know that
01:00:56american tv
01:00:59your country is expected to start bombing our air bases tomorrow
01:01:02and when that happens
01:01:04we will unleash missiles with chemical warheads against your bases
01:01:08consider yourself lucky to be here
01:01:11sleep well
01:01:14you know this is fine
01:01:16it's like the time you got us arrested in tijuana
01:01:18except we're in libya
01:01:20and your dad's not gonna pick us up here brother
01:01:25yo it's
01:01:26aren't you guys also american
01:01:31oh
01:01:32see i see
01:01:33i was wounded and i don't feel well
01:01:35please sing a song to comfort me
01:01:37sing a song
01:01:38any song
01:01:43oh
01:01:44oh okay
01:01:46rescue me
01:01:48sing
01:01:48uh-huh
01:01:49what
01:01:50i want your tender chance
01:01:51cause i don't know
01:01:53my team was on strategic recon
01:01:57oh
01:01:58you know that's when you go behind enemy lines
01:02:01and you try to locate their assets
01:02:03like tanks and bunkers
01:02:04we were on our way to a resupply drop
01:02:06and we were ambushed
01:02:07the other guys were killed
01:02:08killed
01:02:13i took a bullet in the leg
01:02:15and they brought me here
01:02:16uh-huh
01:02:17i don't know
01:02:18any words to this song
01:02:20kiss me baby
01:02:21kiss me baby
01:02:22kiss me baby
01:02:23kiss me baby
01:02:25kiss me baby
01:02:25kiss me baby
01:02:25kiss me baby
01:02:25kiss me baby
01:02:25kiss me baby
01:02:26use this
01:02:27to dig around the base of the bars
01:02:29on the window
01:02:30i got one of them loose all over
01:02:32you want to escape
01:02:33what are you crazy
01:02:38look
01:02:38look
01:02:39it's the duty of every p.o.w. to try and escape
01:02:41we're in the middle of a desert
01:02:42what good is it gonna do for us to escape
01:02:44to complete the recon mission soldier
01:02:46a special operations cargo plane was instructed to make a supply drop at a rendezvous point
01:02:51about 15k worth a year
01:02:53if we can get off this base
01:02:54i can get us to the rendezvous want
01:02:56you're insane
01:02:57okay
01:02:57the libyans are gonna launch chemical weapons
01:02:59we're much safer here
01:03:00no
01:03:00i'm a soldier
01:03:01and i got a job to do
01:03:03so are you
01:03:05now get to work
01:03:07right
01:03:07that i'm lonely
01:03:10rescue me
01:03:12rescue me
01:03:12good work it baby
01:03:27my heart
01:03:30you know what you didn't scare me i just fell like screaming
01:03:34don't worry about it
01:03:35most men think i'm scary
01:03:40so you can't sleep
01:03:42i'm too excited
01:03:43excited they might torture us tomorrow they might even even kill us
01:03:47i know
01:03:48it's just like the night before christmas
01:03:50yeah
01:03:51yeah
01:03:51well at my house
01:03:52we got presents
01:03:52i'm talking about
01:03:54the anticipation
01:03:57we might die
01:03:59we might die
01:04:00we might escape it
01:04:01we don't know what's gonna happen
01:04:02that's the coolest thing in the whole world
01:04:04most girls are into horses and stuff
01:04:07you're weird
01:04:11most men say that too
01:04:14i like it
01:04:17you do
01:04:19yeah
01:04:20horses are boring
01:04:30so
01:04:31if i do get us out of here
01:04:33and i will
01:04:34is it true what you said about tying me up and all that wild sick stuff
01:04:39i'll have you kiss me again
01:04:44okay
01:04:45i can't wait
01:04:51i think i got it
01:04:52wait look
01:04:53you got it
01:04:54yeah look
01:04:55look
01:04:56oh
01:04:56oh
01:04:57oh
01:04:58oh
01:05:01stern
01:05:02stern
01:05:03you gotta wake up i can't turn the alarm off
01:05:06it's not an alarm it's an air raid siren
01:05:08oh thank god
01:05:11i thought it was having another panic attack
01:05:18oh
01:05:19oh
01:05:20oh
01:05:20oh
01:05:20oh
01:05:35oh
01:05:36oh
01:05:36oh
01:05:36oh
01:05:38oh
01:05:38oh
01:05:38oh
01:05:38oh
01:05:38oh
01:05:38oh
01:05:38oh
01:05:39oh
01:05:39oh
01:05:39oh
01:05:39oh
01:05:39oh
01:05:59oh
01:05:59oh
01:06:00oh
01:06:00oh
01:06:00oh
01:06:01oh
01:06:01oh
01:06:02oh
01:06:02Okay, Cush.
01:06:08That was good. Just a little more to the left. We got him.
01:06:12Yeah, you guys just keep trying.
01:06:14Do you guys realize what we are doing right now?
01:06:17This is a scene from Pirates of the Caribbean.
01:06:20All we need is that mangy dog, right?
01:06:23And then we can go... Why? Just try it again.
01:06:41Let's go!
01:06:43Let's go!
01:06:45Let's go!
01:06:47Let's go!
01:06:47Let's go!
01:06:48Let's go!
01:06:48Let's go!
01:06:53Let's go!
01:06:56How much do you love me?
01:07:02Let's go!
01:07:09I'm sorry. I don't get it. What is it with us and trucks?
01:07:12I mean, we get them, we break them, we smash them, we crash them, we run out of gas.
01:07:15I don't get it.
01:07:16Yes, yes, yes, I understand that, but we're not getting tortured by Baba Gadoosh right now, okay?
01:07:21No. Instead, we're lost in the desert. Again. Without food and water. Again.
01:07:27Stuck with this Special Forces guy. He can't even walk because he got his legs shot off!
01:07:32Fred! We're free!
01:07:33Damn! We're gonna die free!
01:07:35Or maybe not.
01:07:4355 American dollars. And then on top of it, see this truck? Serious bona fide Libyan army fighting machine.
01:07:54And it's all part of this amazing offer, my friend.
01:07:57And maybe if you're lucky, might even have a cool eight track.
01:08:00You can play abuda-ba-da-ba-da stuff on it.
01:08:04Huh? And you ask me, how could it be? Why such a deal? Because we're crazy, boys! We're giving it
01:08:11away!
01:08:18Hmm?
01:08:21You like this watch? Is it interesting?
01:08:23Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Come on, he likes it.
01:08:26Not the watch! Come on, it's got the phases of the moon and the compass.
01:08:32What? This has a compass?
01:08:33Yeah.
01:08:34Really?
01:08:35Yeah, well, we've been stuck in the desert for three days and you're telling me this watch has a compass.
01:08:39Sorry.
01:08:40Ooh, Jack. Ooh, you're gonna get some noogies later. I'm gonna just pound you like this.
01:08:45I forgot.
01:08:45Yeah, well, uh, a compass.
01:08:47Well, you're gonna forget about your little watch here, Jack, because it's gone.
01:08:51Uh-huh. Here you go, my friend.
01:08:54Hey, you guys. In my life, I've seen a lot of camel's toes. But I've never seen one in a
01:09:01camel.
01:09:03I think he's got a crush on you, Bones.
01:09:06Really? How can you tell?
01:09:08Because he's been nibbling on your ears.
01:09:11Yeah?
01:09:11And licking on your neck.
01:09:14It's okay. You're just a camel.
01:09:20Our supply drops on the other side of that Libyan base.
01:09:24What Libyan base?
01:09:25Pones, are you blind? It's a Libyan base covered with a camo tint.
01:09:29What are you talking about?
01:09:31I guess we're gonna have to go around it.
01:09:34Around what?
01:09:35See that jeep right there?
01:09:36Mm-hmm. I see the jeep.
01:09:37Okay.
01:09:38But I certainly don't...
01:09:40Oh, you mean that Libyan base, the one under the camo tint.
01:09:45I thought you guys were talking about some other Libyan base.
01:09:50Will there be medical supplies?
01:09:51Medical supplies, uniforms, food, water, radio, everything we need.
01:09:56Yeah, but where is it? It's supposed to be right here.
01:09:59Hey, you guys! Come on!
01:10:04Come on!
01:10:05Come on, you guys!
01:10:06What is it?
01:10:06Come on!
01:10:07Oh!
01:10:07Whoo!
01:10:12Whoo!
01:10:16Yeah!
01:10:20Yeah!
01:10:23Yeah!
01:10:24Hot wheels!
01:10:36Ah!
01:10:42Stern!
01:10:44These things are intense. No wonder people join the army.
01:10:47Be all that you can be in the army.
01:10:52What happened to him?
01:10:54His leg looks pretty bad.
01:10:55I think it's infected because he lost a lot of blood.
01:10:58But look at his gums.
01:10:59They're fabulous, man. Not a touch of gingivitis.
01:11:02He's been flossing.
01:11:03Yeah, but why is he acting so wasted?
01:11:05Oh, that's the morphine.
01:11:07Absolutely. The morphine better.
01:11:12Hello? Somebody answer us, please.
01:11:14You gotta believe us.
01:11:15We're stuck out here in the middle.
01:11:17Please, just help us.
01:11:18Get a hold of yourself, soldier.
01:11:20Oh, thank God it's you.
01:11:22Listen.
01:11:22Don't say my name.
01:11:24What did I say to you when you first arrived in Chad?
01:11:27Uh, something about your clock being broken.
01:11:31Close enough.
01:11:32Okay, calm down, son.
01:11:34We're gonna get you out of there.
01:11:35Now listen carefully.
01:11:36Your call sign is now Glendale.
01:11:39Our call sign is now Burbank.
01:11:43Did you recover the fast attack vehicles, Glendale?
01:11:45Oh, you mean those dune buggies.
01:11:47Yeah, those things are intense.
01:11:48Good.
01:11:49This equipment was intended for the special forces team to carry out a vital mission.
01:11:54You are our only assets on the ground with the right equipment in the right place.
01:12:00Say what?
01:12:01You have to take over, Glendale.
01:12:04Listen, let me explain something first of all, Sergeant.
01:12:07We're water boys.
01:12:08Okay, please.
01:12:09You're soldiers first, Glendale.
01:12:12Now, listen up.
01:12:14The Libyans have a mobile scud launching base right in your area.
01:12:19These scuds are loaded with chemical weapons and targeted at U.S. bases.
01:12:23Our aerial photographs haven't been able to find them.
01:12:26You want us to find them?
01:12:28Well, what about Stern? Stern can find them.
01:12:30He'll be up pretty soon. Stern?
01:12:31Daddy, why can't I go to ballet class?
01:12:35Teacher says I'm a natural.
01:12:38These scuds can't be spotted from the air because of heavy camouflage.
01:12:43Camouflage?
01:12:44Why didn't you say so in the first place?
01:12:47Listen, we saw the thing this morning.
01:12:49Stern wrote down the coordinates, right, Stern?
01:12:52We'll tell you where it is.
01:12:53You guys can come here and bomb the hell out of it.
01:12:56Come on, send the Air Force!
01:12:57It's not enough to tell us.
01:12:59You have to go back there and paint it.
01:13:02Paint it?
01:13:03Trust me, it looks perfectly fine the way it is.
01:13:06I mean paint it with the laser.
01:13:08The laser target designator is in your equipment.
01:13:12All you have to do is return to that base, point the laser at it, and call me back on
01:13:17the radio.
01:13:18The Air Force will do the rest.
01:13:20You can be a mile away in perfect safety.
01:13:24All right, wait a minute.
01:13:26Chris!
01:13:27What?
01:13:27Get over here.
01:13:28Bones, they can't make us do anything.
01:13:30We don't know how to use this stuff.
01:13:33Fred, do you use lasers in dentistry, right?
01:13:36I know what's going on.
01:13:37You're gonna try to make the brother hold the laser, right?
01:13:39No.
01:13:39My laser was a little itty bitty laser.
01:13:41This is a big laser.
01:13:42There's a difference.
01:13:43Glendale?
01:13:44Glendale?
01:13:45No, no, no, no.
01:13:46Can't they just evacuate the bases?
01:13:48Yeah, or we can take an hour out of our busy lives, hop in these cool dune buggies, pop the
01:13:53base with the laser and let the Air Force blow the hell out of it.
01:13:56Now you listen to me, Glendale.
01:13:57Please, hold yourself there one second.
01:14:00I'm just trying to have a moment with my friends.
01:14:02Is that okay?
01:14:02Just have a cup of java.
01:14:04Please, chill.
01:14:08Fred, when you first got here, you were completely freaked, right?
01:14:12Yeah.
01:14:13And now look at you, huh?
01:14:14You're a regular G.I. Joe, a fighting man from head to toe.
01:14:19And Chris, you wanted infantry.
01:14:22Well, now's your chance.
01:14:24Let's see what you got.
01:14:27And Jack, my friend, you were a complete screw-up.
01:14:31But now look at you.
01:14:32You're still a screw-up, but if you did this and you survived, you'd have stuff to tell your little
01:14:37screw-up grandkids.
01:14:39Basically, you guys, up to a few months ago, we were all a bunch of minimum-wage losers from Glendale.
01:14:44But this whole event has changed our lives.
01:14:47You know who we owe it to?
01:14:48The army.
01:14:50This is something we gotta do.
01:14:52Come on, just go with it.
01:14:54Chris, I know you're with me.
01:14:57Yeah, boy.
01:14:58Fred, listen, if you can't handle it, I understand, man.
01:15:01I can handle it.
01:15:04Jack, what do you say, man?
01:15:06Oh, I say, I say you're crazy.
01:15:09I think you're all nuts.
01:15:11But you're the private first class.
01:15:13I'm the private.
01:15:14I'm gonna follow you, my friend, wherever.
01:15:17All right, you guys, let's do this thing.
01:15:20Kick it, man.
01:15:21Darren, you ready?
01:15:23Let's go, Bone.
01:15:24I know, I know.
01:15:26It's just a little bit of business I have to take care of.
01:15:32I, you're gonna have to go now.
01:15:36You're gonna have to go be all the camel that you can be.
01:15:44Bye.
01:15:49All right, troops!
01:15:53Let's go bust some scuds!
01:16:00Let's go bust some scuds!
01:16:08Oh!
01:16:11Oh!
01:16:12Oh!
01:16:14Oh!
01:16:16Oh!
01:16:44I don't know.
01:16:48All right, Glendale to Burbank, come in.
01:16:51I wish we had cooler codenames.
01:16:52What was that, Glendale?
01:16:54Nothing. I was just saying that these codenames suck.
01:16:57Can I call you General Sweetpants?
01:16:59You better remember who you're talking to, Glendale.
01:17:01Are you in position?
01:17:02Guy's got no sense of humor.
01:17:04Yeah, we can see the target.
01:17:06Have you painted it with the laser?
01:17:11Just did.
01:17:13Good going, Glendale.
01:17:14The airstrike is inbound.
01:17:16You should acquire the target in seven minutes.
01:17:19It is vital that you do not take the laser off the target
01:17:22until the target is destroyed.
01:17:24Can you hold it there for seven minutes?
01:17:26I got it propped up here on the rock.
01:17:28I can hold it here all day long. I'm good to go.
01:17:30No problem, Burbank.
01:17:33Good.
01:17:34Lay low and report any change in situation.
01:17:37We'll be standing by.
01:17:38Out.
01:17:55Come on.
01:17:57Come on.
01:18:04Tell me again about the store.
01:18:06Oh, the store.
01:18:08Well, it's going to be great.
01:18:10We're going to have our own room
01:18:12where people can get their feet massaged.
01:18:14Sorry.
01:18:37Hold your position, Glendale,
01:18:40and keep that laser on the target.
01:18:41On the target?
01:18:42We are the target.
01:18:47Tell them to hurry up.
01:18:48You better hurry.
01:18:49We got 60 pissed off Libyans heading towards us.
01:18:52Stay with it.
01:18:53Stay with it.
01:18:57Let's get these guys, Jack.
01:18:59Come on.
01:19:00Okay.
01:19:01Get out of the way.
01:19:03All right.
01:19:04This is for the Glendale water boy.
01:19:16Not bad, huh?
01:19:17Whoo!
01:19:20Woo!
01:19:41Reload.
01:19:42No, no, no!
01:19:44No, no, no!
01:20:18Shit!
01:20:21Missed.
01:20:21Yeah, well, at least they didn't blow up my head.
01:20:25Where are you going, soldiers?
01:20:26We know you can do it.
01:20:27A burpee.
01:20:28I'm gonna find you the biggest bottle of champagne in Chad.
01:20:32Yeah, well, don't pop the cork yet.
01:20:34The bomb's missed.
01:20:35The base wasn't hit.
01:20:37You better send another airstrike here and send it fast.
01:20:39Weight one.
01:20:50The backup strike of F-111s is being diverted to your target.
01:20:54GTA, three minutes.
01:20:55Three minutes?
01:20:56What, are you crazy?
01:20:57We don't have three minutes.
01:20:58In three minutes, we're gonna be shish kebabs.
01:21:00We're under serious attack.
01:21:03You'll have to hold them.
01:21:18Oh, shit.
01:21:19Oh, my God.
01:21:21You better get the planes here sooner.
01:21:23The scuds are ready to fire.
01:21:24Two minutes and thirty seconds.
01:21:29Hey, hey!
01:21:31Where's he going?
01:21:47Alright!
01:21:48My man!
01:21:50You stay right here.
01:21:52I gotta go.
01:21:54What the hell? What the hell?
01:22:03You guys? Move over. Move over.
01:22:08Cock-firing mechanism.
01:22:11Report the situation.
01:22:14Shut up.
01:22:28Aim to set range if known or estimate. Who came up with these directions?
01:22:32I don't know.
01:22:34Tell me to shut up one more time when I'm gonna rip your spine out and use it for a
01:22:37putting iron.
01:22:38Shut up. I'm not good with directions.
01:22:43Push, safety, and hold down. Okay, now everybody back.
01:22:48Fire by pushing trigger.
01:22:55Suck on this at once time!
01:23:03Oh, sorry.
01:23:11Last chance, my friend.
01:23:24What the hell?
01:23:34No!
01:23:34No!
01:23:38Yeah!
01:23:39Yeah!
01:23:40Yeah!
01:23:42Yeah!
01:23:45Woohoo!
01:23:45Yeah!
01:23:47Oh man!
01:23:51Everybody scream like crazy make them think we got 50 guys up here we scared
01:24:15them don't mess with the Glendale reserve in two weeks a year one week in a month we're
01:24:33the few we're the proud we're the water boys
01:24:40I'm stuck
01:24:42get me
01:24:43No!
01:25:13Woo!
01:25:15Yeah!
01:25:20Woo!
01:25:24Woo!
01:25:26Woo!
01:25:29Woo!
01:25:31Woo!
01:25:32Woo!
01:25:32Woo!
01:25:33Woo!
01:25:34Woo!
01:25:35Hey!
01:25:35All right, stern poles!
01:25:37Not bad for a bunch of waterboys, huh?
01:25:40No!
01:25:41Soldiers!
01:25:42I'm proud of you guys!
01:25:44Not now!
01:25:53You ought to be damn pleased with yourselves.
01:25:56Congratulations.
01:25:57You did an outstanding job.
01:25:59It wasn't a job for a sergeant.
01:26:01It was an adventure.
01:26:34You're gonna have to go get a blood test phone.
01:26:37What?
01:26:37Ha ha ha!
01:26:38Ha ha ha!
01:26:38Ha ha ha!
01:27:06Ha ha ha!
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