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Short filmTranscript
00:00:26To be continued...
00:00:42Oh, I've got a feeling something special is going to happen today.
00:00:53Things to do today.
00:00:56Make check mark on paper.
00:01:00Cross item out.
00:01:02No time for that, I'm afraid.
00:01:05And finally say, that seems pretty senseless, but whatever.
00:01:12That seems pretty senseless, but whatever.
00:01:19That's odd.
00:01:24Joan, honey, did you put these trash cans on the curb?
00:01:28Oh, I left the trash out overnight.
00:01:34Oh, dear.
00:01:36Oh, no.
00:01:38Someone's stolen our garbage again.
00:01:45I just feel so awful about this.
00:01:48Darling, please.
00:01:50It's not your fault.
00:01:51It's the world we live in today.
00:01:53There are people out there for whom nothing is sacred.
00:01:56People who will steal a man's garbage week after week after week.
00:02:00We can get through it, honey.
00:02:02We'll borrow some garbage till we're back on our feet.
00:02:05Don't you see, Joan?
00:02:06That's exactly what they're counting on.
00:02:08Whoever keeps doing this knows that people like us will just sit back and take it.
00:02:12Darn it.
00:02:12I'm not going to take it anymore.
00:02:14Oh, Stanley, please.
00:02:15Don't get involved.
00:02:16I already am involved, Joan.
00:02:19Someone has stolen from my family, and I will not rest until I bring them to justice.
00:02:23Don't get involved.
00:02:59Don't get involved.
00:03:49Don't get involved.
00:03:58What in the world?
00:04:30What in the world?
00:04:39They're getting away. I've got to follow them, but how?
00:04:45Two wheels. Four wheels. Eight wheels.
00:04:54All right, crooks. Now you've got Stanley Stupid on your trail.
00:05:15Morning, Petunia. Morning, Buster.
00:05:18Hey, sis. Have you seen Dad? Isn't he sleeping?
00:05:21No, and he's not outside, either.
00:05:23I got up early to walk my fish, and he was already gone.
00:05:27Do you think maybe he's been kidnapped?
00:05:30Oh, my God. We must go to the police station.
00:05:35Just as soon as we've left a note for Mom.
00:05:56Take this down. We have gone to the police.
00:06:07Daddy's been kidnapped. Kidnapped?
00:06:12Don't worry. We'll be back soon.
00:06:16Signed, your children.
00:06:18Your children.
00:06:24Let's move.
00:06:31Stanley? Buster? Petunia?
00:06:40Stanley? Buster? Petunia?
00:06:44Where is everybody?
00:06:53It's impossible. It can't be true.
00:06:59Hello?
00:07:00Hello. Is this Mrs. Stupid?
00:07:03Yes.
00:07:04I'm calling from the police station, Mrs. Stupid.
00:07:06We have your children here, ma'am.
00:07:10Oh, my God! It's true!
00:07:13The police have kidnapped my children!
00:07:36You two just sit tight. We'll have you home in a minute.
00:07:39...
00:08:05It's your turn now.
00:08:06It's your turn now.
00:08:21Bye!
00:08:24Bye!
00:08:28Mom?
00:08:30Mom?
00:08:33Mom?
00:08:42It's no use.
00:08:44Mom's gone too.
00:08:45And we seem to be caught in a deadly game of cat and mouse.
00:09:02He left without even ringing the bell.
00:09:05Apparently he only wanted us to find this.
00:09:11What's the Jade Palace?
00:09:13What does this have to do with Dad and Mom?
00:09:16I don't know, Petunia.
00:09:17But I think it's time we went there and found out.
00:09:22What's the Jade Palace?
00:09:27Friday, June 4th.
00:09:29Today, my world turned upside down.
00:09:32First, I discovered my husband missing.
00:09:34Then, I learned my children had been kidnapped by the police.
00:09:39Now, the fate of my family rests in my hands.
00:09:47Note to self.
00:09:48I must buy a handheld tape recorder.
00:09:49Then, I will no longer be speaking into the garage door opener.
00:10:02Some people can be so inconsiderate.
00:10:17Just the two of you?
00:10:20Why, yes.
00:10:22So they have been expecting us.
00:10:25I believe it.
00:10:34Oh!
00:10:36Oh!
00:10:37Oh!
00:10:58And what can I get for you?
00:11:00Oh, I think you've got a pretty good idea
00:11:03of what we're looking for.
00:11:05May I recommend the cashew chicken?
00:11:07You'll get your cash when you get our parents back.
00:11:09And don't call us chicken.
00:11:40Oh, no, the truck.
00:11:42It's gone.
00:11:44I've lost it.
00:11:45Now it could be anywhere.
00:11:48Finding it now would be like
00:11:49finding a needle in a haystack.
00:12:08It's always the last place you think of looking.
00:12:27I'll never get the hang of these things.
00:12:29Still no sign of Mom or Dad.
00:12:32I don't get it, Buster.
00:12:34Don't worry, Petunia.
00:12:36Whoever brought us here will contact us
00:12:37when the time is right.
00:12:48Buster, it's a message.
00:12:51Time flies when you're having fun.
00:12:55Time flies when you're having fun?
00:12:59Wait a minute.
00:13:00Isn't the Daily Times bubble
00:13:01just a few blocks away from here?
00:13:04Yes, at the corner of Fun Street and Fly.
00:13:07No, it's Maple and Fifth.
00:13:09Close enough.
00:13:10Let's move.
00:13:19Okay, camouflage lesson number one.
00:13:21To look like a bush,
00:13:23you have to think like a bush.
00:13:28Okay, here I am just being a bush.
00:13:30Just growing and hanging out.
00:13:32Yes, this is a life for me.
00:13:36Sure is a lot of soil around here.
00:13:38A lot of sunshine, too.
00:13:40As a bush, I notice these things.
00:13:42Wait a minute.
00:13:43What's this?
00:13:45I have arms.
00:13:47I am a bush with arms and legs.
00:13:52I am the first bush in history with legs.
00:13:56I can walk.
00:14:05Oh, Gacy, unbelievers, upon this miracle,
00:14:08this walking bush, half man, half plant,
00:14:11he dwells in two worlds,
00:14:12but is the master of both.
00:14:13Oh, man, bush,
00:14:15you are nature's greatest wonder!
00:14:29Poor fools thought I was a bush.
00:14:34I'll lock up the bikes.
00:14:35You keep a lookout.
00:14:43Let's move.
00:14:56My children!
00:15:09Hey, what's the matter with you?
00:15:11Do we know how to climb?
00:15:13Hey, come on!
00:15:14Come on!
00:15:19Police.
00:15:20They recognize me.
00:15:21They're sure to kidnap me, too.
00:15:23What to do?
00:15:24Oh, my gosh.
00:15:39There must be thousands of people's garbage here.
00:15:42Tens of thousands, even.
00:15:44Why, the sheer organization necessary
00:15:46to pull off a heist like this?
00:15:49I've uncovered the crime of the century.
00:16:04Good day, officers.
00:16:13Yes!
00:16:18Bye-bye.
00:16:20Got that?
00:16:22Come on!
00:16:24Everything?
00:16:37Going on!
00:16:39All right!
00:16:42Will, why?
00:16:49Is that everyone?
00:16:50Affirmative, sir.
00:16:53It's showtime.
00:17:04Welcome, gentlemen.
00:17:07I apologize for the unpleasantness of our surroundings.
00:17:10The setting was chosen for its seclusion, not its beauty.
00:17:17The weapons you are about to see are American-made.
00:17:21And, I humbly submit, the world's best.
00:17:35International law has long kept you from acquiring them.
00:17:37But, as of now, I hope to help you overcome that.
00:17:42Lieutenant, the first piece of equipment we'd like to demonstrate is the Dragon anti-tank missile.
00:17:51Whether you want to foment revolution or suppress it, this hardware will help you get it done.
00:17:59Strange indeed are the workings of fate.
00:18:02How could I have known that today I would wander into the jaws of some kind of supercrime?
00:18:08Pardon me.
00:18:11Chances are, my life is already in danger.
00:18:13Yet, I feel strangely, intensely alive.
00:18:16Every nerve is alert, every sense working overtime.
00:18:19Nothing escapes my eye.
00:18:24Excuse me.
00:18:28One journey has come to an end.
00:18:30But, I've got a feeling the real adventure has just begun.
00:18:35Yeah.
00:18:47Buster! Petunia!
00:18:51It's some kind of ape woman.
00:18:53Oh, no.
00:18:54It's me.
00:18:55Your mother.
00:18:56Your mother's some kind of ape woman?
00:18:59No, no.
00:19:00Children, it's a disguise.
00:19:04They're wings.
00:19:06Ah.
00:19:10Next up is an updated version of the .45 caliber personal side-on.
00:19:22I think you'll appreciate the increase in stopping power.
00:19:52Well, we'll see you guys.
00:19:55...additional M16 assault weapons, extra-new capability.
00:20:00Not only will it fire...
00:20:02Excuse me.
00:20:03Got a pen I can borrow.
00:20:07See you then.
00:20:09Thank you very much.
00:20:12So, what's going on around here? Some kind of company picnic?
00:20:14Burned Booth Bar!
00:20:16Why, that's a very festive name for it.
00:20:19Notice all that garbage out there?
00:20:20It's all stolen.
00:20:23There's something fishy going on.
00:20:25Frankly, our lives may already be in danger.
00:20:27Then Booth Bar!
00:20:29I hear you, pal.
00:20:29At first, I was pretty tongue-tied myself.
00:20:37Oh, Jerry, help.
00:20:38I need a new headline for the entertainment section.
00:20:41HBO has given the order for a pair of original outer space theme shows for the new season.
00:20:46Let's see.
00:20:47What a foul.
00:20:48Hello?
00:20:54Two alien pilots picked up by network.
00:20:57Perfect.
00:20:58I'm sending it.
00:21:02Hey, you guys!
00:21:03Give me a head in Metro, will ya?
00:21:04We're supposed to be in print five minutes ago.
00:21:11Psst!
00:21:12Psst!
00:21:12Over here!
00:21:13I found the computer!
00:21:18What have you got in mind, Petunia?
00:21:21A little ride on the information superhighway, Mom.
00:21:24In this age of microtechnology, the computer's our gateway to information.
00:21:29Now all we've got to do is figure out the password.
00:21:40How about nose?
00:21:42It's worth a try.
00:21:46All right, computer.
00:21:48Now tell us everything we need to know about Stanley.
00:21:55Stupid.
00:21:58Relax, soldier.
00:21:59A week from now, we'll both be wealthy men.
00:22:02I suppose so, sir.
00:22:04But I can't help wondering what our country would think of what we're doing.
00:22:09This year, our country refused my promotion, Lieutenant.
00:22:14They have only themselves to blame now.
00:22:21You really think we can pull this off?
00:22:26Whew.
00:22:26I gave my life to the military.
00:22:29Nothing's gonna stop me from getting something back.
00:22:35Sir!
00:22:36I think we have a potential situation on our hands.
00:22:38What is it, soldier?
00:22:39An individual, sir.
00:22:41He appears to have infiltrated the proceedings.
00:22:43As far as we can tell, he's not affiliated with any of the buyers.
00:22:45The CIA.
00:22:47We're probably already surrounded.
00:22:48Negative, sir.
00:22:49We scouted the area, and he appears to be alone.
00:22:52Alone?
00:22:54Hmm.
00:22:54Just what kind of cowboy agent is this guy?
00:22:57Hmm.
00:23:11Just what kind of cowboy agent is this guy?
00:23:11No one is disturbing without my order.
00:23:15The buyers must not know anything is amiss.
00:23:17I understood, sir.
00:23:24If I know my business, the operative will contact us.
00:23:40You walk into a situation like this without support.
00:23:45This guy must be fearless.
00:23:46Yes.
00:23:48Yes.
00:23:56And very, very smart.
00:24:03Business?
00:24:04Weather?
00:24:05Sports?
00:24:06What is it trying to tell us?
00:24:08It's computer jargon, Mom.
00:24:09It's like a whole different language.
00:24:12Now hand me a photo of Dad, and let's see what we can find out.
00:24:21It's processing the data.
00:24:27What does it say?
00:24:29Fatal error drive B.
00:24:31Oh, my God.
00:24:33What does it mean?
00:24:34I don't know.
00:24:35We've got to warn your father.
00:24:44Watch out!
00:24:45Let's go!
00:24:49We'd better get out of here!
00:24:50Let's go!
00:25:07Our bikes are gone!
00:25:12And the cops have surrounded my car!
00:25:14Run for your lives!
00:25:47No, you look!
00:25:49That's the way that's what we're doing!
00:25:50Still, I know you are, bro...
00:25:53Mum and I'm so tired!
00:25:54Oh, she's so tired!
00:25:55You've got to go, you know I'm so tired.
00:25:57How can I be?
00:25:57I'm so tired!
00:25:59I'm so tired!
00:26:02I'm so tired.
00:26:13Oh
00:26:24Yeah
00:26:26Whoa
00:26:32No!
00:26:43Salamat.
00:26:46Aywa, Shukran.
00:26:49Arrivederci.
00:26:50Arrivederci. A bit tard.
00:27:05Oh, Donato.
00:27:10Adios, amigo.
00:27:11Adios.
00:27:14Auf Wiedersehen.
00:27:17Hi, Stanley Stupid.
00:27:19Oh, honored to make your acquaintance, Mr. Stupid.
00:27:22You must be a highly skilled investigator to have discovered all of this.
00:27:27Well, actually, I knew I was on the trail with some pretty crafty thieves,
00:27:30but I had no idea there was going to be this much garbage out here.
00:27:34You are clearly an agent of enormous talents.
00:27:38It's a shame the government will never reward you as richly as you deserve.
00:27:42No, the government doesn't even know I'm here.
00:27:45Ah, and that's why you've approached me, isn't it?
00:27:48To come and get your share, one way or another?
00:27:52Actually, mister, I've approached you because I need a car.
00:27:56Lieutenant, give our friend the keys to my car.
00:28:00A gift to the gifted.
00:28:03Well, thank you very much.
00:28:05That's incredibly generous.
00:28:06Thanks a lot.
00:28:08Appreciate it.
00:28:11And to think I just wanted to ride back to town.
00:28:16Thanks, everybody.
00:28:17I'll see ya.
00:28:27Talk about nerves of steel.
00:28:29Completely surrounded and you didn't even blink.
00:28:32We bought them off for now, sir.
00:28:34But what's to stop them from turning us in anyway?
00:28:36You are, soldier.
00:28:38Without disturbing our clients, follow.
00:28:40Then terminate the target with extreme prejudice.
00:28:43Yes, sir.
00:28:49Meaning?
00:28:50Kill him.
00:28:52Right.
00:29:00Boy, you never realize how many policemen there are until the day they turn against you.
00:29:06This is the biggest emergency of our lives.
00:29:09And we can't even call 911.
00:29:11A crisis like this calls for even higher authority.
00:29:14Mom, dial 10-1-1.
00:29:18I'm afraid that's not good enough, children.
00:29:20Your father's life is on the line.
00:29:24I'm calling 75,496-11.
00:29:37Yeah?
00:29:38Hello.
00:29:39My name is Joan Stupid.
00:29:40I'm a housewife and I desperately need your help.
00:29:42Yeah, let me guess, lady.
00:29:43You've had a hectic day running around trying to take care of the kids.
00:29:46And now you're panicked because your husband's too old.
00:29:49That's right.
00:29:50Yeah, and you haven't had time to cook dinner, right?
00:29:53That's right, too.
00:29:56Yeah, I hear it every day of the week.
00:29:58What you need is our family special.
00:30:00What's your address?
00:30:0155 Maple Street.
00:30:03Huh.
00:30:04And does your family like coleslaw?
00:30:06Yes.
00:30:07That's all the information I need.
00:30:09You can relax, dear.
00:30:10We'll have you taken care of in less than an hour.
00:30:12Oh, bless you.
00:30:15No need to worry, kids.
00:30:16The most sophisticated emergency response team in the world is working with us now.
00:30:22Well, interestingly enough, their strategy involves coleslaw.
00:30:29Hello?
00:30:32Hi, honey.
00:30:33It's Bea.
00:30:33Oh, Stanley.
00:30:36Darling, are you all right?
00:30:37I'm fine.
00:30:38But you won't believe the things I've uncovered.
00:30:40Stanley, listen to me closely.
00:30:42You must beware of the drive B.
00:30:46What's the drive B?
00:30:49We don't know.
00:30:51But any error you make with it could be fatal.
00:30:53Just as I suspected.
00:30:54My life may already be in jeopardy.
00:31:11What are you saying, Stanley?
00:31:12There must be some kind of interference.
00:31:14Hold on.
00:31:15I'll turn down the radio.
00:31:21Oops.
00:31:45Is there something about Dad that you're not telling us?
00:31:49Something about his past that would help explain what's going on?
00:31:57Children, I suppose you're old enough to know the truth.
00:32:01And the truth is, your father once worked inside the system.
00:32:08You mean?
00:32:09That's right, Petunia.
00:32:11Stanley Stupid was a courier for the U.S. government.
00:32:16At first, it seemed like the perfect job.
00:32:21Every day brought new and fascinating challenges.
00:32:25Oh, great!
00:32:29There you go.
00:32:36Five, three, seven.
00:32:41Five, three, seven.
00:32:47Five, seven.
00:32:50Five, six.
00:32:52Five, six.
00:32:56Five, six.
00:33:07Six, seven.
00:33:26And then, one day, your father discovered something.
00:33:51That's odd.
00:33:55Coming.
00:34:05What is it now, Stanley?
00:34:06Something very strange, sir.
00:34:09Seems like an incredible amount of letters are being delivered to somebody named Sender.
00:34:13Who is this Sender?
00:34:15And what is he doing with other people's mail?
00:34:18I believe that this calls for a full-scale investigation.
00:34:25The next day, he was fired.
00:34:28They never told him why.
00:34:31But of course, he knew too much.
00:34:34And my instinct tells me, we haven't seen the last of Mr. Sender.
00:34:42Fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight.
00:34:49Is the target neutralized?
00:34:51I'm afraid not, sir.
00:34:53It seems the enemy repelled our assault team with extreme defensive aggression in a blowing up their car manner, sir.
00:35:01So, he has some combat skills to back up his bravado.
00:35:06Who do we have from special ops?
00:35:08McClellan trained with the SOF, sir.
00:35:10Give him the assignment.
00:35:11Let's see how our friend handles a veteran assassin.
00:35:42Ready?
00:35:44Ready.
00:35:46It's high time I got myself another tattoo.
00:35:51Just make sure you do it clean.
00:35:53You can't afford to leave a trail of clues.
00:35:55You'll never know what hit him.
00:35:58Did you know how to hold in your gas tank?
00:36:00Actually, that's how you get the gas in it.
00:36:02Listen, why don't you top her off? I'm gonna go freshen up.
00:36:18Let's go.
00:36:55Thank you for the excellent service, old-timer.
00:37:05I don't know.
00:37:29Well?
00:37:30I'm afraid it's bad news.
00:37:32Don't tell me he took out McClellan, too.
00:37:34It's uncanny, sir.
00:37:36I've watched him dispatch assailants effortlessly with techniques that defy description.
00:37:42Who's our explosives expert?
00:37:44That would be Martinez, sir.
00:37:46Give him the assignment and everything he needs to pull it off.
00:37:49I want it done surgical.
00:37:50And I want it done now!
00:37:53God's sake.
00:37:54We're military men.
00:37:56Killing people is supposed to be our job.
00:38:27NOBODY
00:38:40Go on.
00:38:42Please, leave me alone.
00:38:54What are you trying to do, you darn bee?
00:38:56Can't you see I'm trying to drive?
00:38:58Oh, my God, the dry bee!
00:39:10Fight, Stanley! Fight for your life!
00:39:19The tables have turned.
00:39:23The hunter becomes the hunted.
00:39:34Mission accomplished.
00:39:36No one could have survived that blast.
00:39:43Now that's a well-made shoe.
00:39:53Here's your fare, and a little extra for yourself.
00:39:56Thank you, sir.
00:39:58What's the occasion?
00:39:59It's just good to be home.
00:40:09Home.
00:40:09Home.
00:40:11You never know how much it means to you till you go away.
00:40:18What are you doing to my grass?
00:40:21Luster?
00:40:22Is that you?
00:40:25Have I been away so long?
00:40:26You live next door, Stanley.
00:40:28Please, call me Dad.
00:40:30Dad?
00:40:33This day keeps getting stranger and stranger.
00:40:37We find ourselves today at the center of a puzzle.
00:40:40At first, all is confusing.
00:40:43But as the pieces come together, patterns emerge.
00:40:47Before long, we can see the sinister face of conspiracy.
00:40:53And it all begins with a man named Mr. Sender.
00:41:26Lettuce.
00:41:28Easier to open than pistachios.
00:41:31What's inside is more delicious.
00:41:36If you still love me, Sally, tie a ribbon round the old oak tree.
00:41:43I'm afraid the only thing that's going to be hanging from that tree is you, Bob.
00:41:57Poor Jenny Miller.
00:42:01Nobody coming to her wedding.
00:42:09This postal ploy of yours is the most evil caper of our age, Mr. Sender.
00:42:15How will you ever top yourself?
00:42:16With a crime so unthinkable that no one has ever dared to attempt it.
00:42:21To rob an entire nation of its garbage.
00:42:26The one resource no one ever thinks to protect.
00:42:29Yet, without it, every hefty bag, every trash compactor, every rubbish bin in America will be useless.
00:42:37Desperate men will roam the streets with empty wastebaskets.
00:42:41Panic and chaos will rule the land.
00:42:44The precious balance of civilization will be destroyed.
00:42:48And then, the world will come begging for mercy to me.
00:42:58Your job is to kidnap anyone who discovers my diabolical plan.
00:43:06Including children.
00:43:13This fiendishness must be stopped.
00:43:26It's not our battle to fight, Johnson.
00:43:29We've got enough trouble getting soy sauce into these tiny packets.
00:43:32Maybe we can't stop Sender.
00:43:34But I know someone who can.
00:43:35A bright fellow I worked with in the postal service.
00:43:39Are the guards posted out front?
00:43:41Only the best.
00:43:49Well, no one suspects a thing, Mr. Sender.
00:43:53Unless that bush has ears.
00:44:03The joke's on you, my friends.
00:44:07Bad news, sir.
00:44:09Stanley's stupid has discovered our secret.
00:44:11At last, a foe worthy of matching wits with.
00:44:16Release the dry beast.
00:44:52So, you see, it all begins with Mr. Sender.
00:45:01The police are against us.
00:45:03And obviously, we can't go to the press.
00:45:05What are we going to do, Stanley?
00:45:08We've got to take on Sender ourselves.
00:45:11Oh, it won't be easy finding him.
00:45:14Scouring the countryside for microscopic clues.
00:45:17Following trails that are long since cold.
00:45:20Sensing him always nearby, yet somehow maddeningly beyond our grasp.
00:45:25Hey, there's a Charles Sender listed right here in this phone book.
00:45:30The manhunt begins.
00:45:46The car won't start.
00:45:47Maybe the battery's dead.
00:45:49It was perfectly healthy this afternoon.
00:45:51Well, then maybe it's got some life left in it.
00:45:53I better give it mouth to mouth.
00:46:04Not now, Kitty.
00:46:05I've got a battery to revive.
00:46:16Wait a minute.
00:46:17What am I doing?
00:46:18I cooked up some insane conspiracy theory
00:46:20and put myself in the middle of an illegal weapons deal
00:46:23with some of the world's most dangerous men.
00:46:25I've risked my life and the lives of my family
00:46:27in a scheme that makes absolutely no sense at all.
00:46:34Insight fading.
00:46:36I must remember not to go forward with this.
00:46:39What is it, Stanley?
00:46:40What are you supposed to remember?
00:46:43Um...
00:46:45I don't know.
00:46:47Boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop.
00:46:54Let's go, everybody.
00:46:55We got a job to do.
00:47:14Hey!
00:47:15What about the delivery?
00:47:16You can't just order food and run off like that!
00:47:21You have insulted the dignity
00:47:23of Floyd's delicatessen.
00:47:36You're sure this is the place?
00:47:38Oh, yes.
00:47:39When I called Cinder's home,
00:47:41his wife said that he works here.
00:47:44What a likely story.
00:47:57Okay, Joan.
00:47:58You and Buster searched that end of the building.
00:48:01Petunia and I will take this in.
00:48:02And remember, everybody, use your heads.
00:48:27Oh!
00:48:28Oh!
00:48:33Oh!
00:48:35Oh!
00:48:36Oh!
00:48:36Oh!
00:48:42Oh!
00:49:07I've found his headquarters, and I've stumbled upon his
00:49:12cleaners' laboratory.
00:49:21Careful, Petunia.
00:49:23One false move and we could end up dead.
00:49:30Dad?
00:49:31Petunia?
00:49:33Everything's gone dark.
00:49:35I can't see a thing.
00:49:37Oh, my God, it's happened.
00:49:41We're dead.
00:49:43I knew it!
00:49:57So this is heaven.
00:49:59It's quite lovely, really.
00:50:04Funny, isn't it?
00:50:06One minute you're tracking down the head of a global conspiracy, and the next minute,
00:50:09poof.
00:50:10It's all over.
00:50:13Sure puts things in perspective.
00:50:16You know who I miss the most?
00:50:19Mom and Buster.
00:50:21Don't worry, honey.
00:50:22They'll be joining us soon enough, the way your mom drives.
00:50:27Hello?
00:50:29Somebody in here?
00:50:31Dad, someone's coming.
00:50:34You think?
00:50:37Yes, Petunia.
00:50:40It's time to meet our creator.
00:50:48Hail to thee, O Lord.
00:50:51Actually, it's pronounced Lloyd.
00:50:56All these years we've been saying it wrong.
00:50:58Come on.
00:51:05So, this is the face of evil.
00:51:25And this is the diary of his twisted schemes.
00:51:39Dates?
00:51:41Numbers?
00:51:42Years?
00:51:45What in the world?
00:51:48Buster, come on.
00:51:49I found out where Sender's going next.
00:51:52Just a minute, Mom.
00:51:53I've discovered a mysterious room here.
00:51:55There's a strange looking clock over the top of it.
00:52:01And a control panel with a bunch of numbers.
00:52:05One would almost think it's some kind of time machine.
00:52:15Mom!
00:52:16Help!
00:52:17Buster, no!
00:52:28What buttons did you press?
00:52:29I don't know.
00:52:30Just a bunch of random numbers and the letters BC.
00:52:34Oh, my God.
00:53:03We've traveled back to the age of the dinosaurs.
00:53:13It's just so amazing to meet you at last.
00:53:16Well, thank you.
00:53:18It's nice to meet someone who appreciates the work I do.
00:53:22Appreciates it?
00:53:23Why, you're the one that takes care of the entire universe.
00:53:26But you'd be surprised how little thanks I get for it.
00:53:28Most people don't even know I exist.
00:53:33This is the single most fantastic journey in the history of the world.
00:53:43Keep your voice down, son.
00:53:44If one of these things wakes up, we're in real trouble.
00:53:47You look absolutely starved.
00:54:02Hey, look, Mom.
00:54:04The cape of some pretty starved peoples.
00:54:13They're tools seeming to be fashioned over primitive styrofoam.
00:54:17We've got to be careful, Buster.
00:54:19The slightest disturbance to this ancient world could affect the entire course of history.
00:54:25Yes.
00:54:26The entire course of history.
00:54:36What are you doing?
00:54:42Just think.
00:54:44My name is now the first word ever written.
00:54:46This rock will be the most sacred mystery on Earth.
00:54:50Buster, snap out of it.
00:54:52When mankind learns to read, I'll be worshipped.
00:54:57Nations will rise and fall in my name.
00:55:01Life on Earth, there'll be nothing but a footnote to Buster.
00:55:07We've got to get out of here.
00:55:10Not to be disrespectful, but I feel that perhaps we've come here too early.
00:55:14The truth is the two of you shouldn't be here at all.
00:55:17You mean you're sending us back into the world?
00:55:19I'm afraid so.
00:55:21But don't get me wrong.
00:55:22It's been a pleasure talking to you, but there's work to be done.
00:55:26So our crusade against the world's injustice is important.
00:55:29Just head through that door marked exit.
00:55:32Take you back to where your car is parked.
00:55:34Did you hear that, Petunia?
00:55:36We're getting a second chance.
00:55:37Hooray!
00:55:41Do you have any finer words for us before we go?
00:55:44Well, if you want to make my job easier,
00:55:47remember, throw your gum in the trash when you're done chewing.
00:55:51I spend a huge amount of my time cleaning up gum.
00:55:54So long as we live, we shall fight that wrong.
00:56:07Sorry, Mom. I sort of went mad with power back there.
00:56:12Well, the most important thing is, we made it.
00:56:16Mom! Buster!
00:56:18Joan! Buster!
00:56:22Dad! Petunia!
00:56:25Stanley! Petunia!
00:56:30You've made it!
00:56:32Are you all right? How did it go in there?
00:56:34Well, Joan, we had a remarkable 20 minutes.
00:56:37We died, went to heaven, met God, and got brought back to life.
00:56:42But still, no sign of sender.
00:56:44What happened to you guys?
00:56:46We traveled through time to the age of dinosaurs,
00:56:48and Buster established himself as the most important and mysterious figure in history.
00:56:53Buster.
00:56:54Sorry, Dad.
00:56:56And even more importantly, we found this.
00:57:02Names, places, dates, times.
00:57:06Wait a minute. There's an entry in here for today.
00:57:09Channel 3 news at one o'clock.
00:57:12We passed the Channel 3 news station on the way over here.
00:57:15And it's almost one now.
00:57:16The trail is still fresh.
00:57:18Let's go.
00:57:45We're here.
00:57:55Somewhere in this building is the man we're looking for.
00:57:58Let's find him before he finds us.
00:58:11Good news today for Culture Buffs.
00:58:13A new exhibit arrives today at the Museum of Natural History.
00:58:16And here to tell us about the highlights is museum director, Charles Sender.
00:58:20Welcome.
00:58:21Thank you. Thank you.
00:58:22You know, if you love pre-Columbian sculpture much as I do, you are in for a real surprise.
00:58:29Because in less than an hour, I will be picking up a stunning collection of Olmec heads on loan from
00:58:36museums all over the world.
00:58:38Now, I understand it's exhibits like this that have given our museum its most profitable year ever.
00:58:43You must be a very sought-after curator.
00:58:46Yes.
00:58:47Sometimes I feel like a hunted man.
00:58:54Try your best to blend in, Petonia.
00:58:56Remember, we can't afford to get caught.
00:58:59Oh, excuse me. I'm looking for the set of the Late at Night Show.
00:59:01Excuse me. I'm looking for the set of the Late at Night Show.
00:59:04I'm supposed to be making a delivery there.
00:59:05I'm supposed to be making a delivery there.
00:59:07Could you give this to Doug the stagehand? I'd be so grateful.
00:59:10He's a big fat guy. You can't miss him.
00:59:11Here.
00:59:13This will get you backstage.
00:59:14I really appreciate this.
00:59:22I'm sorry. They're taping a TV show.
00:59:24No one gets in without proper authorization.
00:59:27Oh, ma'am. This way, please.
00:59:34Keep your eyes peeled for anything unusual, son.
00:59:36Mr. Sender can't be far away.
00:59:39Just watch for the slightest sign of strange behavior.
00:59:41Dad?
00:59:44They're putting makeup on men in there.
00:59:47Bullseye.
00:59:55Are they ready?
00:59:56Ready when you are.
00:59:58Then let's go, everyone. We're on.
01:00:07Hey, let's go.
01:00:12Yeah, but Sly's a lot taller now.
01:00:15You know, people think it's really easy being a celebrity, but when they canceled my series Malibu Beach Detective, I
01:00:20was just absolutely devastated.
01:00:29Well, I'm sure everyone is very sympathetic for you. You put so much work into such a fine series to
01:00:35have it taken off the air.
01:00:36As an artist, I was truly crushed.
01:00:43It was the most awful, heartbreaking, shocking thing that's ever happened to me.
01:00:58Mom, I can't get this light switched to work.
01:01:01Just a moment, dear.
01:01:08Okay, now, let's take a look.
01:01:19Well, maybe you'd all be happier if there was no primetime television.
01:01:28What's going on?
01:01:36You could spend every night reading books together.
01:01:51Well, my next guest is a world-class French chef.
01:01:57So stay tuned, everyone, and let's give it to the fat guy.
01:02:02Fat? Fat?
01:02:04Fat?
01:02:05Fat?
01:02:05Fat, fat, fat.
01:02:14Fat.
01:02:18Fat, fat, fat.
01:02:20Fat.
01:02:21Fat.
01:02:23Fat.
01:02:24Fat.
01:02:26Okay, let's settle everybody.
01:02:27We're on in five, four, three.
01:02:32Have you ever thought you came from an unusual family?
01:02:36Well, after you meet my guest today, you may want to adjust your standards.
01:02:41I divorced my wife in order to date her daughter.
01:02:49I married a Siamese twin and had an affair with her sister.
01:02:56I've been engaged to three of my cousins.
01:03:03I'm...
01:03:04Well, to tell you the truth...
01:03:09I'm...
01:03:10I'm my own grandpa.
01:03:12You're your own grandpa?
01:03:14That's right.
01:03:16Well, for those of us who've never heard of such a thing, maybe you could explain.
01:03:19Of course.
01:03:21It's quite simple, really.
01:03:22Many, many years ago when I was 23, I was married to a widow who was pretty as could be.
01:03:29This widow had a grown-up daughter who had hair of red.
01:03:33My father fell in love with her and soon they two were wed.
01:03:36This made my dad my son-in-law and changed my very life.
01:03:40For my daughter was my mother cause she was my father's wife.
01:03:44To complicate the matter, even though it brought me joy,
01:03:48I soon became the father of a bouncing baby boy.
01:03:51My little baby then became a brother-in-law to dad.
01:03:55And so became my uncle, though it made me very sad.
01:03:59For if he was my uncle, then that also made him brother.
01:04:02To the widow's grown-up daughter, who of course was my step-mother.
01:04:07That was our banker in Bern.
01:04:09Payments will be transferred to our account when we deliver the hardware.
01:04:13In approximately two hours.
01:04:15Nothing left to do but relax, Lieutenant.
01:04:18No power on earth can stop us now.
01:04:22I'm my own grandpa.
01:04:25I'm my own grandpa.
01:04:28It's impossible.
01:04:29We killed that man.
01:04:31For God's sake, kill him again.
01:04:34Our future is in his hands.
01:04:36My father's wife then had a son who kept him on the run.
01:04:39And he became my grandchild cause he was my daughter's son.
01:04:43My wife is now my mother's mother and it makes me blue.
01:04:47Because although she is my wife, she's my grandmother too.
01:04:51If my wife is my grandmother, then I am her grandchild.
01:04:54And every time I think of it, it nearly drives me wild.
01:04:58This has got to be the strangest thing I ever saw.
01:05:02As husband of my grandmother, I am my own grandpa.
01:05:06I'm my own grandpa.
01:05:08Everybody!
01:05:10I'm my own grandpa.
01:05:12It sounds funny, I know, but it really is so.
01:05:17I'm my own grandpa.
01:05:20Stay tuned, everybody. We'll be right back after this break.
01:05:28Thanks again for coming to the station, Mr. Sender.
01:05:31It was a pleasure, I assure you.
01:05:33Bye-bye.
01:05:36Sender!
01:05:38We meet at last.
01:05:40No time to chat, I'm afraid.
01:05:42I'm taking over the heads of a dozen foreign countries.
01:05:49My god!
01:05:51His plans for world domination are already coming together.
01:05:53Buster!
01:05:58You know what's strange, Dad?
01:06:00I would have thought a man as powerful as Sender would be surrounded by bodyguards.
01:06:05You can't see them, Buster, but they're here.
01:06:07Ready to pounce on anyone who so much as utters the words,
01:06:10I'll get you yet, Sender.
01:06:12Whoa!
01:06:12Hey, let's go of my dad!
01:06:17Whoa!
01:06:23Buster!
01:06:26What happened?
01:06:28It's Sender's men!
01:06:29They captured Dad!
01:06:34So where are we going, fellas?
01:06:50Fasten your seatbelts.
01:07:10You're a clever man, Mr. Stupid.
01:07:15If that really is your name, too clever for your own good.
01:07:22And you play the innocent most convincingly.
01:07:25You thought you'd fool me into thinking you were dead and then you'd catch me red-handed when I went
01:07:31to make the sale.
01:07:34A masterful bit of strategy.
01:07:36And you came dangerously close to pulling it off.
01:07:40We better get going, sir.
01:07:42We're due at Warehouse 21 in less than an hour.
01:07:45Warehouse 21?
01:07:46No use gathering intelligence now, my friend.
01:07:49Our little chess game is over.
01:07:54I hope you won't find the endgame too unpleasant.
01:07:59I'm sorry, ma'am. There's nothing I can do.
01:08:17It's no use. They won't let anyone onto that army base unless they're in the army.
01:08:22This is serious. Dad's in danger.
01:08:25I gotta think of something.
01:08:27What if we form our own army?
01:08:29To do that, we'd have to form our own country.
01:08:32We could call it stupidia.
01:08:34A sovereign nation with its own laws, its own customs, its own governments.
01:08:37Mom, as mother of this household, your leadership has stood the test of time.
01:08:44I'd like to nominate you as president.
01:08:46To the polls, everyone.
01:08:47Get this over with already, would you?
01:08:49This guy's already taken out three of our best.
01:08:52Relax.
01:08:55His hands are tied. He's unarmed.
01:08:58We've got two guards posted outside.
01:09:01And I've got a gun on him.
01:09:03There's no way he's leaving here alive.
01:09:06Isn't that right, Mr. Stupid?
01:09:11Remember, throw your gum in the trash when you're done chewing it.
01:09:15I spend a huge amount of my time cleaning up gum.
01:09:19In the name of the loy!
01:09:35The polls are dead even.
01:09:38Give or take a vote.
01:09:38The polls are dead even.
01:09:50Give or take a vote.
01:09:51Give or take a vote.
01:09:53Give or take a vote.
01:09:54If only we knew who Dad was voting for.
01:09:58Joan! Joan!
01:10:00Congratulations, Mom.
01:10:01Thank you, everyone.
01:10:03And as your president, I appoint Stanley Stupid, head of the army.
01:10:10Your first duty is to go onto that army base and rescue my husband.
01:10:14And get our dad while you're at it.
01:10:15I'm afraid those two will just have to wait.
01:10:17We've got to get to a place called Warehouse 21.
01:10:23Joan, give me the keys.
01:10:30The car won't start.
01:10:32Dad, you and Mom, switch places.
01:10:51Mom, hand the keys to Dad.
01:11:02Good work, everybody.
01:11:25This must be the place.
01:11:47Well, what have we here?
01:12:03Sorry.
01:12:05Sorry.
01:13:02Excuse me, everyone.
01:13:03May I have your,
01:13:09attention please impossible he's amazing before you
01:13:14unleash strife and warfare upon this planet please look into your hearts no
01:13:21guns inside you're still human beings you can change your ways you all could
01:13:30come back for the dark side you send a squad of men towards the eastern flank
01:13:36of the warehouse you organize a counter to the left your men will back the first
01:13:41two squats while my men rove on point but he's doing he want men trust me you
01:13:49don't want to underestimate him so turn yourselves in everyone my family and I
01:13:55did not wish to fight you but if you do not give up you will leave us no
01:14:00choice are they giving up no as a matter of fact they seem to be organizing some
01:14:06sort of massive attack I guess they want to do things the hard way
01:14:14they seem pretty well armed dad yes Buster but so are we oh they may have knives
01:14:19and guns and missiles and bombs but we're armed with the fact that what we're
01:14:23doing is right sometimes you have to trust in let the final showdown begin
01:14:44don't
01:15:01don't
01:15:01get him
01:15:02get him
01:15:19yeah
01:15:20oh
01:15:24Left, left, left, left, left, left, left, no, no, the other left, I got him, oh, oh, oh,
01:15:39oh, oh, no, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run,
01:15:52take your time men, he's unarmed, or am I?
01:16:23I'm stuck. I'm caught. I'm trapped. Somebody help me out here.
01:16:26I'm cornered. Yes, that's the word I'm looking for. I'm cornered. I'll save you, Dad.
01:17:08Must concentrate. Focus power of mind over matter.
01:17:21Channel every ounce of willpower. It's working. I've done it.
01:17:28Behold the superhuman strength of Buster. Huh?
01:17:39Buster!
01:17:48Buster!
01:18:04Buster!
01:18:06Sorry, Dad.
01:18:08What the hell was that?
01:18:10Sounds to me like it came from the warehouse district.
01:18:28Buster! Stanley! Please be careful out there.
01:18:38Buster! Stanley! Please be careful out there.
01:18:42There are lots of little fires burning all over the place now.
01:18:46Ah!
01:18:51Oh!
01:18:54Ah!
01:19:06This is the worst fire extinguisher I've ever seen.
01:19:10Buster!
01:19:14Oh!
01:19:19Oh!
01:19:20Oh!
01:19:21Oh!
01:19:22Oh!
01:19:24Oh!
01:19:46how lovely
01:19:53car 15 request backup send squad cars immediately to warehouse 21
01:19:58car 15 we are on our way oh great i just
01:20:04great
01:20:30gotta get out of here
01:20:32not to worry lieutenant the police are on my side as far as they know
01:20:40how do i look quite convincing sir but what about me you my friend
01:20:50are on the wrong side of the law
01:20:51get some cops over here i got the ring later
01:21:05shoot to kill boys those are evil men in there
01:21:16you've got to let me through officer the cargo i'm transporting is extremely cultural i'm sorry sir but no one's
01:21:23getting through here at the moment oh my i guess i'll have to find another
01:21:27route home in the meantime could you please just pull your vehicle over there with the rest of the cars
01:21:31yes sir
01:21:32oh stanley you were so brave in there
01:21:38and look the police are on our side again
01:21:48yes our work here is done but before we go there's a certain arch villain i'd like to speak to
01:21:53you i have a feeling he learned a pretty important lesson today
01:22:01well my friend it seems you lost i certainly am
01:22:06problem is you took the wrong road right from the start
01:22:09can you help get me back on the right path
01:22:12yes i can but it won't be easy
01:22:15you've got to turn yourself around
01:22:18you've got to straighten out
01:22:20but as long as you can remember to head towards the light
01:22:24you'll never go wrong
01:22:27thanks you've really saved me
01:22:29until we meet again
01:22:42it's been quite a day
01:22:46and i have to say that i'm glad it's finally over
01:22:51i'm afraid it's not over yet
01:22:56you must think you have some kind of guardian angel stanley
01:22:59you thought you could take me on and pay no price
01:23:03destroy my future
01:23:04and then slip through my fingers again and again
01:23:09well not this time bucko
01:23:13this time i'm gonna take care of you myself
01:23:17where's your guardian angel now
01:23:22bet you're surprised to see me
01:23:23we certainly are
01:23:25i'm very impressed i might add
01:23:27well let this be a lesson to you
01:23:29nobody gets away from me
01:23:30i've been on the job too long
01:23:32here's your bill
01:23:41i would have thought guardian angel's work for free
01:23:44oh joan
01:23:45you're so wonderfully naive
01:23:50i assume you work for the lloyd
01:23:53me
01:23:53no my boss's name is floyd
01:23:56no
01:23:57it's pronounced lloyd
01:24:08hey neighbor
01:24:09hey stanley
01:24:10didn't see you around much this weekend
01:24:12what you been doing
01:24:13ah this and that had breakfast read the paper saved the world
01:24:17oh is that right
01:24:19say today i thought we'd have a little barbecue
01:24:21why don't you stop by there's plenty for everyone
01:24:23well thanks dandy but uh
01:24:24i left the water running in my bathtub
01:24:26what you yearn
01:24:28what you
01:25:00Oh, my God.
01:25:29This is going to be great, Dad.
01:25:31Say, how can I help?
01:25:33You can flip the burger, son, but I better handle the lighter fluid.
01:25:37See? Keep out of reach of children.
01:25:39Right there. You got to be careful.
01:25:49What is it, boy?
01:25:54What is it, kitty?
01:26:12Are you hungry?
01:26:14Do you want a biscuit?
01:26:19That poor dog doesn't know what he wants sometimes.
01:26:23Woo!
01:26:24Woo-hoo!
01:26:33Poor!
01:26:39Poor!
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