#video #The Boys S05E05 (ENGL SUB) | Brutal Power Struggle and Shocking Twists 😱🔥 Full Episode
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00:02They're up before dawn.
00:04They got a thousand heads of cattle to herd.
00:07It's hard work and strong coffee.
00:09Old leather saddles and the worn stock of a trusty Remington.
00:14And when the sun finally rises over the range, the cowboys know.
00:18America is God's country and Americans God's chosen people.
00:24So shouldn't we have our own church for Americans with American grit and American values?
00:29Founded by the greatest American of us all, the true American prophet.
00:34Come home to the Democratic Church of America.
00:37Come home to Homelander.
00:39Already, the campaign's aided awareness outpaces the norm by plus 22 points,
00:45led by white men and women ages 36 to 54 and 55 to 72.
00:51We are also seeing massive growth on the ground level.
00:54Yeah, I'm seeing massive growth myself.
01:00Church attendance is up and our online donation CTR is at 44%.
01:05That's a new record.
01:06Amen.
01:07Amen.
01:08Next up is a 500 million ad blitz with OOH, e-blasts, print and digital.
01:15Ain't nobody won't know about the Democratic Church of America and its chosen prophet.
01:25Prophets are servants.
01:27Of course.
01:29Sir, great point.
01:30We're just trying to ease people into it.
01:32No, no, no.
01:33We need to prepare America for my ascension.
01:37You must be honest.
01:38You must be direct.
01:40Alex Xavier or Lord.
01:44Yes, I couldn't agree more, sir.
01:46Hmm.
01:46Religion is not about being meek.
01:48We should dominate the seven mountains of society.
01:52Bring the kingdom of heaven to earth.
01:53Amen.
01:54Amen.
01:54Amen.
01:55I love all that.
01:56So fucking dope.
01:57Easter is just around the corner.
01:59How perfect would it be for your second coming to come on the day of Jesus' resurrection?
02:04Hmm.
02:05Second coming?
02:06Let's be clear.
02:08I am not the son of God.
02:11Well, of course, many people believe that Jesus is both God incarnate and the son.
02:16Well, that's just confusing.
02:18I don't want my church getting involved in all of that.
02:21Exactly.
02:21Besides, if we pull up our timeline, you won't have.
02:25Yes.
02:37We're going to drag our feet because of a book.
02:38Not a book.
02:41The book.
02:42The Homelander Bible.
02:49Heavy.
02:51It's got the Old Testament, the New Testament, and the brand new American Testament written
02:58by AI trained on the works of Pat Robertson.
03:00See, we need to pass the torch, sir, from Jesus to you, sir, and we don't get one chance
03:08at a first impression.
03:10Are we really going to rush something this important?
03:14We need Arby's, after all.
03:17Hmm.
03:18We're the Cheesecake Factory.
03:22Hmm.
03:24Okay.
03:26We'll do it your way.
03:31You do realize this kind of sudden religious upheaval is likely to generate widespread civil
03:37unrest?
03:37Local law should be able to handle the suburbs, but we could use extra hands in major metros.
03:42Oh.
03:42Is recall all superstition of disease?
03:44American heroes should be protecting America, not who gives a fuck a stand.
03:48Great idea.
03:56Something wrong?
03:58Everything's peachy.
04:05Well, I can see why they call this the city that never sleeps.
04:09How could you with all that racket?
04:12You're getting used to it.
04:13You seem to, if city life seems to suit you.
04:16I guess.
04:19I was surprised you called, Reverend.
04:21Well, I was surprised you answered.
04:23It's been a while, and I said things I regret.
04:25You both did.
04:30You remember when you used to stop by the church after school, use your powers to light our candles?
04:35I remember staying for supper.
04:38Oh, man.
04:39Those fish fry Fridays.
04:41I never liked eating alone.
04:42Well, were you making sure I got at least one hot square a day?
04:48Reverend, is something the matter?
04:50I'm embarrassed to bug you with all of this, but the last couple of weeks have been rough.
04:56We've been bleeding congregants to the Democratic Church of America, and what folks are sticking around, they're shared.
05:02Why?
05:02Because last Sunday, somebody melted our stained glass window of Mary.
05:08Melted it?
05:08Mm-hmm.
05:10It's our local soup.
05:11Prairie Mantis.
05:13He sprayed acid out of his butt.
05:15I mean, his glands is whatever.
05:17Yeah, I know him.
05:18It was a message.
05:20I called the sheriff.
05:21I called the mayor.
05:22I've called half of Florida.
05:24You're all I got left.
05:26Reverend, I don't know what I could do.
05:28You've got to be able to do something.
05:30Your homeland is right hand.
05:33Well, Homelander's not too keen on being challenged.
05:39Why not just pay the franchise fee and join?
05:41Honey, we can barely afford to pay our water bill.
05:44Besides, the Democratic Church of America, God does not favor one nation over another.
05:51Doesn't he, though?
05:51No.
05:52Name one way God's ever blessed Canada.
05:58Just because Homelander tells you that the sky is red does not make it so.
06:05You still have that, uh, that Jesus action figure.
06:09I'm surprised you remember that.
06:10How could I forget it?
06:11You carried it with you everywhere you went.
06:12You almost worked face off the thing.
06:15You still carry him?
06:21It's complicated.
06:22No, it's...
06:23I don't think it is.
06:25Homelander's, uh, he's a great American.
06:28He can stop bullets.
06:29He can fly and do amazing things.
06:31Those aren't miracles.
06:33And he is not God.
06:37If you're the same Misty Tucker Gray that I taught the Bible to, Overfish, I think you know it, too.
06:56We ain't doing that again.
06:58It's what you said the last six times.
07:00I really mean it this time.
07:05You seem a little out of it.
07:07Did you not?
07:08It's usually you nut.
07:13Were you baptized?
07:18Yeah, in front of half of Chestnut Hill.
07:20Dr. Sproul did the honors.
07:22My family kept up appearances, of course.
07:25Yeah, we never set foot in church again.
07:27I had lunch today with the Reverend who baptized me.
07:29He's been getting heat to switch over to our church.
07:33I think Homelander might be open to going easy on him.
07:36Just give him a little more time.
07:39I wouldn't ask if it was just anybody, but that man practically raised me.
07:44So you didn't nut.
07:48You know, this whole Homelander is God shit.
07:51It's fucking ridiculous.
07:54Really? You think so?
07:54If he's a second coming, then what does that make me?
07:58Joseph?
07:59We talk about the biggest cook in history.
08:01Man trades his best cow to bag some hot-ass version.
08:04And then God comes and squirts his baby gravy up her meat wallet.
08:09Fuck that.
08:10I guess I've been struggling with where to place Homelander in my heart in relation to Jesus and the Lord.
08:17Okay.
08:19Of course I worship Homelander.
08:21He's always been a god to me.
08:23Look, I'll tell you this.
08:24If there is a god.
08:27Sure as hell didn't come out of my balls.
08:30I gotta go.
08:31Where are you off to?
08:32L.A.
08:35I fucking hate L.A.
08:40Homelander?
08:43Homelander?
08:46Hello?
08:50Does Homelander know you're here?
08:53Yeah, of course.
08:54Some of our church's followers generously donated their milk for our savior's sustenance.
08:59I mean, he gotta get his liquid gold from somewhere, am I right?
09:02You need something.
09:04Where's Homelander?
09:05Oh, what?
09:06He didn't tell you.
09:07Yeah, he had to fly off to L.A.
09:09Strange he didn't mention anything.
09:11Well, I've been real busy working for his glory, so not much time for chit-chat.
09:14Of course.
09:15Look at us.
09:16Regular Peter and John.
09:17Just bearing witness and spreading the gospel.
09:19A real blessing.
09:20Amen.
09:21A real blessing.
09:23Oh, uh, by the way, after our meeting, I checked in on the timeline of that Homelander Bible,
09:30and, uh, the printers were happy to rush it to make Easter.
09:34Well, ain't you full of get-up-and-go?
09:37Thing is, they said it wasn't a problem.
09:39So I wondered why you were so bent on holding it up.
09:44I wasn't.
09:46See, I just wanted to make sure everything was just right.
09:49Listen, if you are ever feeling any doubts, come to me.
09:55I could be a warm shoulder and a friendly ear.
09:59Well, bless your heart.
10:02I'll do that.
10:06What'd you want to talk to Homelander about?
10:08Maybe I could help.
10:10That is so kind to you.
10:13But what important?
10:24What's up?
10:26Um, got a tip from our Southeast Stringer.
10:29Praying Mantis raided half a dozen churches in Daytona.
10:33Was one of them Holy Baptist?
10:36The man upstairs wants us, you, to run with it, top of show.
10:40He thinks with it being your home church and all, it'll make a strong statement.
10:44So I'll have Chris load the new graphics.
10:47I gotta finish getting ready.
10:57Welcome to Truth Bomb.
11:00Our top story tonight's a personal one.
11:02It's the story of my hometown church.
11:05Holy Baptist of Daytona.
11:07It was the church I grew up in.
11:08Sang my hymns from the pews there every Sunday.
11:12But that church...
11:16That church...
11:21That church...
11:25Has become a hotbed of Starlighter infestation.
11:33And my old pastor, Reverend Greg Dupree, has been infected by Starlight's seditious propaganda.
11:41And...
11:44Now...
11:47I never told Sol this, but...
11:49When I was a little girl, the Reverend regularly had me over for supper.
11:54Alone.
11:57Yeah.
11:58Nothing ever happened to me, but...
12:01I heard stories...
12:03About his fish fry Fridays.
12:06And...
12:07If that ain't code for child grooming, I don't know what is.
12:13How much longer...
12:15Are we gonna let these institutional...
12:18Pedo churches...
12:20Diddle our babies?
12:23Americans deserve better.
12:29They deserve...
12:31Homelander.
12:32They deserve...
12:35The Democratic Church...
12:37Of America.
12:51Something wrong?
12:54Everything's peachy.
12:58Would you like some knee pads?
13:00I'm sorry?
13:00You're looking at me like you wanna suck my hog.
13:04So I'm asking if you would like some knee pads.
13:07Take it easy, I'm a little guy.
13:09You brought me Stan Edgar.
13:13Thank you, sir.
13:33Harry Gibb. B-G. There's no B-G's without me.
13:37B-G means the brother's a gibb.
13:39Wait, you think that falsetto makes you boss?
13:41I think Saturday Night Fever going platinum 16 times makes me boss.
13:44We made that album together.
13:46Nothing...
13:46Without me and Maurice.
13:48Don't you dare bring me to this?
13:51I don't know, it feels inauthentic for Barry to move like this.
13:54Oh yeah?
13:57In what way?
13:59Ego maniacs like Barry are really just insecure.
14:02I think he's threatened by Robin's talent.
14:04So maybe he expresses that by doing a barrel roll instead.
14:11Never mind, sorry, I broke character, I didn't mean to.
14:13Yeah.
14:15You need to apologize, alright?
14:17For being a fucking genius.
14:20Are you fucking kidding me? A barrel roll?
14:23Holy shit.
14:25It's brilliant.
14:27Justin, I don't know who you are, or where you came from, or anything about you, but my God, if
14:33you are not a fucking talent.
14:35Well, thank you.
14:35No.
14:39Let's take ten, everybody.
14:43Alright.
14:46Lay down on me, Justin.
14:47What do you mean?
14:48You're acting.
14:49Up there, stop acting.
14:51Stop acting.
14:54Don't act.
14:55Don't.
14:56Because I don't need an actor.
14:59I need Barry Gibb.
15:00You're right, boss, I'm sorry.
15:02My process has been all over the map, but just...
15:05This scene is a little close to home.
15:08Alright, let me guess the egomaniac we're talking about that's someone in your life?
15:11Someone I work with.
15:13In my day job.
15:14Alright, what are you doing so quit?
15:16There's no way this gig is more important than the fucking theater.
15:18I thought this guy was my brother, but he straight up hijacked something I did and took all the credit
15:22for it.
15:23Alright.
15:25I've been trying to keep this on the DL, but...
15:29In addition to my theater work, I also happen to be a massive feature director.
15:33For Saturn Wars to prove it.
15:35So I was working on this little film, I don't know, you may have heard of it called Dawn of
15:38the Seven.
15:38Billy Dollar Gross, but who's counting?
15:41There's this fucking guy.
15:43The Deep.
15:44He just kept upstaging everyone with his trite, shitty improvs.
15:49I thought he was a real baby.
15:50He's a Jared Leto-level baby bitch.
15:53But you gotta put people like that in their place, right?
15:56So whoever's upstaging you, you fucking upstage them right back.
16:00Okay?
16:01Yeah.
16:01Alright, you got this, gula.
16:07So great you're here, bro.
16:09Yes.
16:10Well, we need to meet young men where they are if we plan to usher them into the fold of
16:15our lord.
16:16Toots my goats.
16:17So listen, you know, I've got some ideas about how to take this whole church thing to the next level.
16:21Oh yeah?
16:22So you know how communion wafers taste like dried shit?
16:26What if they were Nilla wafers instead, huh?
16:30Oh yeah, and if you could throw in a commandment about how it's not cool to try and bone another
16:34bros girl.
16:36We have that.
16:38That already exists.
16:39Great minds then, eh?
16:41Point is, me and Homeowner, we go way back.
16:43I know what he likes, doesn't like, so you ever want to bounce some ideas back?
16:46Don't listen to him, bro.
16:48Oh, shit.
16:50He talks.
16:51No, he does not.
16:52He's not trying to help you.
16:53He's like those fish who suck on whales.
16:54You talking about a sucker fish?
16:56He latches onto every new soup.
16:58Starlight, me, sage.
17:00He pretends he's the guy, but he's not the guy.
17:02He's a joke.
17:03That smell on his breath?
17:04It's because he's been clam diving.
17:06On clams.
17:07What?
17:07I have not done that.
17:08I have definitely never done that.
17:10Look, if you really want to impress Homelander, bring me on stage for Easter.
17:14Homelander can heal me, I'll get my voice back, and then I'll fly.
17:17You know I can fly, right?
17:19That's so fucking stupid, bro.
17:20Well, now, I'm gonna have to run this by Homelander, but, uh,
17:23in honest-to-God faith healing, that's like a nine-point bump with Pentecostals right there.
17:29Goddamn.
17:45There's my guy.
17:46Little pep in the step, huh?
17:49Sir, I did what you said, and I upstaged that bucket at work.
17:53I'm proud of you.
17:54Now, that's exactly how I handled that motherfucker Paul Rudd.
17:57He's not who you think he is.
17:58I appreciate that, oh, boss.
18:00You bring-
18:01Oh, my God, kid.
18:02You know what?
18:02Keep this between us, bud.
18:04You know who vault studios hung me out to dry after they show off training A-train?
18:08Oh, yeah.
18:08And at first I drowned my sorrows in crack.
18:12Nitrous, huff and glue, huff and paint, paint thinners, cough medicine, guns, high-risk sex, codeine.
18:17Did you ever fuck on codeine?
18:20But that's not the answer.
18:24This play, it saved me.
18:27You saved me.
18:29Wow.
18:31No.
18:32Kid, thank you.
18:34Because I got some big news.
18:36We're going to Broadway.
18:38Yes.
18:38No more mindless studio bullshit.
18:40I can finally be the artist I just dreamed of and you.
18:42Kid, you have no idea, but you're going to be a fucking star.
18:46So you ditch that office gig because you and I, we are going to save the world.
18:51With our talent.
18:52Oh, my God.
18:52You have no idea how much this means to me.
18:56I love you, kid.
18:59You start your vocal warm-ups.
19:02Yeah.
19:02I'm going to drop a juice.
19:04Okay.
19:09I have no idea what this means to me.
19:10Fucking told me you could be to go away.
19:15Ah!
19:17No.
19:19megawgh.
19:22Willie.
19:23Mann completion.
19:23Notice that he got suicide drowned.
19:24No!
19:26Keep him up.
19:30Kan Guard.
19:30God!
19:35Come here.
19:38Closer.
19:43My ass hurts so fucking much.
20:08Hey, bro.
20:09Don't you fucking hate bro me.
20:11What the fuck is wrong with you?
20:13Nothing.
20:14Why?
20:14What's wrong with you?
20:15I call you a clam diver and you send an eel to ass-murder Adam Bork?
20:18Did something terrible happen at your play rehearsal today?
20:21Which is definitely not your job.
20:22The lead producer's stepping away.
20:24They're shuttering the production.
20:25Get it coming.
20:27Fucker didn't use my improvs in Dawn of the Seven.
20:29He believed in me, you fuckwit!
20:30And for what?
20:31Cause I fucking offstage you with O-Father?
20:35This is gonna happen now.
20:36You are gonna fucking do whatever I say whenever I say it.
20:40Or I'm gonna kill Homelander you are in some pussy play.
20:43Which is a definite conflict of interest since Homelander outlawed the National Endowment for the Arts.
20:50You have nothing to say.
20:52Nice.
20:53You're getting the hang of the miser technique, huh?
21:02Hey buddy.
21:04Good boy.
21:06Good boy.
21:10You wanna fuck me?
21:12You wanna fuck me like a good boy?
21:30Hold on.
21:32What are you doing?
21:33Frenchie won't cook my steak pastini-um-rare.
21:35And I like mine burnt.
21:36With ketchup.
21:37Okay.
21:37Then why are you telling that?
21:38I have.
21:40Maybe we just don't like the same steak.
21:44You know?
21:47Jesus Christ.
21:49Has Butcher ever washed this thing?
21:51That thing is like glazed in dog semen.
21:53Like a cum donut.
21:55Cumnut?
21:56Did I just invent a new word?
21:57You know what?
21:57I'm gonna do us all a favor and wash this.
21:59Terror.
22:00Your boyfriend is about to become a virgin all over again.
22:03Whew.
22:03Good boy.
22:21What the fuck is that?
22:23You're finally building yourself a fuckbot?
22:25Something million French you're working on.
22:27Pre-preparation?
22:28I'm planning my son.
22:29I'm in my fucking business.
22:31Got it.
22:31Yeah.
22:32That's the one.
22:32Any leaks on bum's side?
22:34Not a damn thing.
22:35He's an unbreakable cunt that flies through the air.
22:36How old can it be?
22:37Well it was so easy.
22:39Why don't you look for him?
22:40I've hit every single dead end and then some.
22:42How about legend?
22:43That old bastard knows everyone.
22:45He's in the wind.
22:46If I had as much shit on fire as he did, I'd fuck off too.
22:50Oh shit.
22:51Wait.
22:52Wait.
22:52Wait.
22:53Wait.
22:53Wait.
22:54Wait.
22:56You can't have no chocolate, man.
22:58Yeah.
22:58Get your own chocolate.
23:01Wait.
23:03Wait.
23:06Wait.
23:07What's the Mississippi room?
23:07Bloody hell.
23:08I never thought I'd see the day.
23:10It's got a fucking pubic ear on it.
23:11I know.
23:11Tasty too.
23:13Hmm?
23:16You know what's funny?
23:18Here we are.
23:19Parked in the middle of hell.
23:21And I've never slept or shit so good my entire life.
23:25What's different?
23:26Huh?
23:27Like you.
23:27I just finally realized that I'm already dead.
23:31And once I just gave up that stress of needing to stay alive, it's like...
23:37Shit got easier.
23:39You know, I spent my whole life going after Soulja Boy for what he did to my family.
23:44Yet, he's immortal?
23:47He's immune.
23:49What kind of fucking cosmic joke is that?
23:52So you tell me, Butcher.
23:54Why should I keep going?
23:56Well, you keep going from a knee to your knee.
24:00They're better off without me.
24:02How can a man so smart be so fucking daft?
24:04They are.
24:05And I'm better off without them.
24:08Because if I thought that there was a snowball's chance in hell, then I might see him again.
24:15Then I might be too scared to do what you and me both need me to do.
24:39Oh, bonsoir mon tutu.
24:41You wonder what am I doing?
24:42Well, first, I made Keniko the perfect French rebuy.
24:48You know, she loves my steak.
24:51And for dessert, my souffle en chocolat.
24:54It's a thing of legend.
25:03You know she wants one of you, too.
25:06I don't know.
25:07What is it that you do?
25:10Eat?
25:11Sleep?
25:12Vetch?
25:13I stir the wall.
25:15You bring it back.
25:16I stir the wall.
25:18You bring it back.
25:19It's a nightmare of futility.
25:21What would I do with one of you?
25:24I've killed every plant I've owned.
25:26I'll surely kill you, too.
25:28I know.
25:32She deserves peace.
25:36A normal life.
25:39But I...
25:44I don't know how to give her this.
25:49If I even can.
26:00No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
26:08I need fresh air.
26:10You wanna come?
26:10Outside?
26:12Okay.
26:13Okay.
26:18If you and M.M. still think-
26:20Oh, for fuck's sake, Huey. You knock it off with this V1 shite.
26:23You're doing me fucking head in.
26:25Oi.
26:26Terrah.
26:27Cut it out.
26:28Come on.
26:29Now, listen.
26:29If we do find that stuff, we're not making any fucking vaccines out of it, alright?
26:33We're not the department of fucking health.
26:34We burn this shit before our lender gets his paws on it, and that's it.
26:37Well, if you want to kill yourself, knock yourself out, but why do you have to decide for the rest
26:40of us?
26:41Oh, because I'm fucking right.
26:42Because I've always been right.
26:43I've been telling you lot, from the fucking start, the sky has fallen.
26:47And guess what?
26:48The sky fucking fell.
26:49Well, you kinda helped bring it down.
26:50Oh, don't give me that bollocks.
26:52Listen.
26:53Homelander thinks he's a fucking god.
26:55Once he becomes immortal, he's gonna start killing like one, and we are talking millions of people.
27:00Now, you're telling me you're honestly happy to risk all of that for a life on the run with your
27:05girl,
27:07knowing that you could've stopped it.
27:11You can live without Kenya.
27:14What if it was Becca?
27:18You just let her die?
27:26Look.
27:28I know that Homelander comes first.
27:31I really do.
27:32All I'm asking is that we try.
27:36Anything in Kimiko deserves that much.
27:41Oi, Tara, no!
27:43Oi, get out of there!
27:45Oh, bloody hell.
27:45Is that chocolate?
27:46Isn't chocolate bad for dogs?
27:48For a dog this soda's fucking lethal.
27:49Oi!
27:50First of your cunt!
27:51Get me some hydrogen peroxide, would ya?
27:52Okay, we have some in the first aid kit.
27:53Give me one second.
27:54What happened?
27:55You poisoned my fucking dog!
27:57No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
27:59Look, all you need is charcoal.
28:00We should call a vet.
28:01They're gonna tell you you need charcoal.
28:02Guys, we got this.
28:03Just give us some room.
28:03I'll hold us enough over.
28:04You pull, right?
28:05On the count of three.
28:06One, two, three.
28:07Sorry, buddy.
28:09There you go.
28:11That's all right, all right.
28:15Oh, I seen it.
28:17That's it.
28:17Good boy, all right.
28:18You're gonna be all right, boy.
28:21Fucking hell.
28:26Hey!
28:28You want some turkey?
28:30Well, first you gotta fuck me,
28:33then I'll give you the turkey.
28:40Hey!
28:42There he is, eh?
28:44Hey, were you having a dream, were ya?
28:47Was it a goodie?
28:50How's he doing?
28:52Yeah.
28:52He's all right.
28:54Thank you, Pharrell.
28:57Yeah.
28:58It's all good.
29:08Hey!
29:09Hey!
29:14Listen, uh...
29:15If we do find that B1,
29:18and if it don't fuck us,
29:21you can have some.
29:25For any, you know.
29:27Come eat on.
29:29What about you?
29:32Hey, but as soon as Frenchy's got that shite sorted,
29:34we're using that, all right?
29:36Really or not?
29:49What you looking at?
29:52Nothing.
29:57But as for you,
29:58don't you ever fucking do that to me again, all right?
30:01Good boy.
30:03Now, I caught Blondie trying to give you a ring plus the boil washer.
30:08But I don't know how you love the crunchy bits.
30:10Yes, I do want to know how you love those crunchy bits.
30:12Yeah.
30:24You do realize this kind of sudden religious upheaval
30:28is likely to generate widespread civil unrest.
30:30Local law can handle the suburbs,
30:32but we could use extra hands in major metros.
30:33But, well, recall all the superstation overseas.
30:36American heroes should be protecting America,
30:38not who gives the fuck a stand.
30:40Great idea.
30:52Where to?
30:53Brian Analytics.
30:59That was thrilling, wasn't it?
31:02What a bright future we have ahead of us.
31:05It was a real Gucci-oni piss party.
31:08Imagine how much more exciting it'll be when Homelander becomes immortal.
31:14Have you found who you are?
31:18No.
31:19Homelander hasn't gotten anything out of Stan Edgar.
31:22No.
31:23But I haven't had a crack at him yet.
31:34Jesus, give me a little personal space, will ya, Garth?
31:3824-7 agents must be hard for someone so into scat play.
31:41You realize I do actually work?
31:43I was this close to convincing the FCC to pull every broadcast license but VNN.
31:47Homelander feels this is more important.
31:51What now?
31:52The President and I stand by this decision.
31:54We need our American soups here in America.
31:57Well, isn't it kinda sorta your fault for being invaded?
32:00You might as well have been wearing a short skirt.
32:02Man, those Ukrainians sure have a fucking mouth on them.
32:05Remember.
32:07You're doing the Lord's work.
32:08Words out.
32:09Vodsock is tanking.
32:10The international markets are in free fall and you're not the least bit concerned.
32:13It's not about what I think.
32:15It's what the man wants.
32:18It's always what the man wants.
32:24You want a drink?
32:26So we're at the climate change summit in Reykjavik
32:28when the Swiss Chancellor says we should all race our Gulf Streams.
32:31The amount of CO2 we splooched out.
32:33The air was chewy the next day.
32:36Lolz.
32:40Come on.
32:41What do you want from me, Sage?
32:42What makes you think I want anything from you?
32:44You haven't called me the poster child for late-term abortion once today.
32:47Truth be told, you're not the one I want.
32:49I know you know what Homelander's doing.
32:52He's going after the V1.
32:53Wait, what?
32:54And if he gets any?
32:56He lives forever.
32:57What is V1?
32:58And what do you mean Homelander lives forever?
33:00I've done what I can to make sure he doesn't find any.
33:03How do you know about this and I don't?
33:05Have you two been talking without me?
33:07Homelander is an open baby book, but Soldier Boy is tricky.
33:10I need you to read his mind.
33:11What he knows, where they're headed next, and most importantly,
33:14if Soldier Boy is warming up to his sadistic-
33:16Well, glad.
33:18Okay, I'm in.
33:20The fuck you are?
33:21We are not conspiring against Homelander.
33:23Hey, don't forget the Aung San Suu Kyi quote tramp stamped on our ass.
33:27The only real prison is fear.
33:28No, the only real prison is prison.
33:30Ashley-
33:31What do you think happens to you if I die?
33:33I'm not about to risk my neck because I let an overgrown Boyle do my thinking for me.
33:38Okay, fine. Just stay.
33:40Why? So you can play more mind games?
33:41You gave me your answer. I heard you.
33:44Now, don't make me drink long.
33:49I'm starving.
33:50Are you starving?
33:51I'd kill for a chalupa right now.
33:53I'd kill for a big juicy dick.
33:54Ooh, you should call Gavin. His girth was amazing.
33:57And oh man, the amount of spunk he shot back here. We looked like Pepe Le Pew.
34:00We are not booty calling my high school boyfriend.
34:02But he was so sweet. And mom loved him, remember?
34:05Yeah, well mom's dead, so she doesn't get a say. And neither do you.
34:08What happened to her?
34:09Cancer.
34:10My grandmother too.
34:12What was she like? Your mother?
34:15Tiny.
34:17I'm terrifying.
34:18This one bitch, Harper Hewitt, used to make fun of my nose.
34:21So my mom tells Mr. Hewitt that Mrs. Hewitt has been railing the UPS guy.
34:26Which she was.
34:27That was mom.
34:28Bringing a nuke to a knife fight.
34:33So they moved.
34:34And the rest of kindergarten was no sweat.
34:36My folks shot me out with V.
34:39Thinking I'd be a meal ticket.
34:40And then my power turned out to be smarts.
34:43Which is the worst fucking one.
34:45Try knowing what everyone really thinks of you all day.
34:47Ooh, trust me.
34:47The thing people hate more than just about anything is feeling stupid.
34:52So, when a three-year-old corrects your grammar, or, oh, tells them their life dream yogurt shop is doomed
34:59to fail, they start to hate you too.
35:01At least my parents did.
35:02Until they don't meet my grandmas.
35:04But, grandma.
35:05You know, she was the only one who ever thought it was a gift.
35:09I would quote Othello to her.
35:11Word for word.
35:12And, and...
35:13She'd clap.
35:15And laugh her big laugh.
35:19I'm still so pissed she is gone.
35:23I used to want to be like my mom.
35:26Strong.
35:27Pushy as fuck.
35:29Didn't take shit from anyone.
35:30You still can.
35:33If you help me.
35:36Fuck you.
35:38You knew about my mom the whole time.
35:39You drew it out of me just to soften me up.
35:41Did it work?
35:42No.
35:42This is my fucking problem with you.
35:44I know you've been working some big plan all year.
35:46How am I supposed to trust you if I'm just a pawn in your fucked up chess game?
35:50Alright.
35:52If I tell you?
35:53Will you help me?
35:54I would heavily consider it.
35:56Helping Homelander take control of the country is phase one.
36:00It was only ever the beginning.
36:01Phase two is the end.
36:02The end of what?
36:03The world.
36:05After this soup killing virus is released.
36:07Wait.
36:08You want it released?
36:09Oh.
36:09You bet I do.
36:11After soups realize humans are behind it.
36:14All hell will break loose.
36:16Soups butchering humans.
36:17Virus butchering soups.
36:18Fucking world war soup.
36:20I don't believe you.
36:21Swear on my grandma's soul.
36:23Why would you possibly want that?
36:25Because I'll be watching.
36:26From my cozy bunker outside Colorado Springs.
36:28And when it's all over.
36:30I can read all day every day.
36:33No one bothering me.
36:36Nothing.
36:37But peace and quiet forever.
36:40Which is why Homelander can't survive.
36:43That needy asshole would never give me a moment's rest.
36:46Defeats the whole purpose.
36:48Don't worry.
36:49You're invited to my bunker.
36:51You too Ash.
36:56Fuck.
36:59Would you like some knee pads?
37:01I'm sorry.
37:01What?
37:02You're looking at me like you want to suck my hog.
37:06So I'm asking you if you would like some knee pads.
37:09Go easy on the little guy.
37:10Okay.
37:11You brought me Stan Edgar.
37:12Thank you sir.
37:13You may leave.
37:24What crawled up your shithole?
37:25No idea what you mean.
37:27When you're pissy, you tend to make everybody else's lives pissy too.
37:32Stan Edgar.
37:33Still sewn wall on you.
37:35I've talked to him three times now.
37:36Says he has no idea where the V1 is.
37:38Heart rate steady as a rock.
37:40I'm starting to believe him.
37:41That slippery fuck.
37:43Used to fetch my cocaine.
37:46You know what?
37:48I have an idea.
37:51Why don't I take a crack at him?
37:55What you don't trust me?
37:56Well.
37:57You did lock me in a room with nuclear material.
37:59And tried to stop me getting a V1.
38:03So...
38:03I'm sure you can understand my...
38:05Hesitance.
38:06You could have killed me at Fort Harmony.
38:08But you didn't.
38:09Maybe I feel like I owe you.
38:10Or maybe lying.
38:12Maybe.
38:17Give me an hour.
38:19I'll meet you at Edgar Cell.
38:30My, my.
38:31Now the mighty have fucked themselves square in the ass.
38:35Don't shit where you eat, Stan.
38:37So you've called in reinforcement?
38:39I wanted to see the prick that sold me out to the Reds.
38:41It wasn't personal.
38:42It was a business decision.
38:43We had your replacement mall on the way.
38:45Even as a toddler.
38:47Homelander showed more promise than you ever did.
38:50Not that it amounted to much.
38:53When have you ever done anything remotely interesting or original?
38:59My power is absolute, Stan.
39:02At heights no one's even dreamed of.
39:05I call that pretty fucking original.
39:07Nothing that the lowest speck of this pointless species couldn't have thought of were they to be granted your level
39:13of power.
39:15Why am I still alive?
39:18Because you're useful, Stan.
39:21And I always wanted a pet, perhaps.
39:23Or is it because you are so desperate for daddy figures that you can't even bring yourself to kill the
39:28ones who hate you?
39:30At least that's something he and I have in common.
39:33Do you want to die, Stan?
39:40Jesus.
39:41You'd get pregnant with all the eye-fucking...
39:45Tempe, Arizona.
39:46Is that supposed to mean something?
39:48Well, I had the eggheads and crime analytics track down your granddaughter.
39:52Zoe.
39:53And her dad.
39:54They're in Tempe, Arizona.
39:59So...
39:59Where is the V1?
40:04As I told you, I genuinely don't know.
40:13But...
40:14I may know someone who does.
40:16You should go and see Mr. Marathon in L.A.
40:19He's always had an intense interest in Vought's history.
40:24It should be a delightful reunion.
40:29Hooray for Hollywood.
40:32That's screwy, ballyhooey Hollywood.
40:35Go out and try your luck.
40:37You might be Donald Duck.
40:38Hooray for Hollywood.
40:40Homelander.
40:41It's really, uh, really good to see you.
40:43Um, why?
40:43But, uh, you know, what brings you by?
40:45Relax.
40:45We're just there to talk.
40:46Yeah, great.
40:47Awesome.
40:47I told you about you.
40:48Wow.
40:48Big fan, sir.
40:49I actually, uh, popped my cherry in your underoos.
40:52Nice.
40:53So you were part of the seven?
40:54Oh, I was.
40:55I was.
40:56You know, until this one replaced me with a train.
40:58Check it out.
40:58Come on.
40:59Well, you're only the world's fastest man as long as you're the world's fastest man, champ.
41:03And you got slow.
41:04It was one race.
41:05You never gave me the chance to win it back, boss.
41:11Hey, check this one out.
41:13Gross 35 mil.
41:14On a 200 million dollar budget.
41:16These aren't even Vought films.
41:17What's the difference?
41:18These were made where washed up soups go to die.
41:21Sony Pictures TV.
41:22It's a legit studio.
41:24And I save half on their TVs.
41:26And maybe we're not part of the official VCU,
41:27and maybe we can't mention Vought or, you know, any licensed Vought hero.
41:31But, hey.
41:32Still making magic.
41:34Yeah.
41:34And I, uh, slung a little bit.
41:36On the side.
41:36Low pills.
41:37Whatever you need.
41:38Fastest dealer in town.
41:39Alright, come on.
41:40The gang will be psyched to meet you.
41:46Did you guys hear?
41:47They rounded up Aziz, Macaulay, Joaquin, Kiefer, Meryl.
41:50I saw who they got, Benedict.
41:52Wong or Cumberbatch?
41:53Oh, fuck.
41:53I know, dude.
41:54What the fuck, Mel Chemical?
41:55Get your boys in check, huh?
41:56Just because I'm a soup doesn't mean I truck in that fascist shit.
41:59We need to do something.
42:00Camera point.
42:01Why?
42:01Because we're storytellers, dude.
42:02Yeah.
42:03Our super power is we inspire hearts and minds.
42:05Look at the characters we create.
42:06Luke Skywalker, Katniss, Condi.
42:08Oh, bitch, please.
42:09Come on, like Mark Hamill, J-Law, and Sir Ben Kingsley do anything but collect their fucking residuals.
42:15They're very engaged.
42:16Look, here's what we do.
42:17We all post about this simultaneously on Instagram.
42:21Yes.
42:21Black squares on the main feed.
42:22Black Lives Matter did black squares.
42:24Fuck.
42:24You're right.
42:25We do blue squares on the grid.
42:26Because blue lives matter.
42:27I wouldn't post that.
42:28Is there any color that hasn't been taken by some fucking group?
42:31What about white?
42:32Oh, ooh, ooh.
42:34I'll get Lena Dunham to write an editorial for The Atlantic.
42:37Oh, yeah.
42:37Oh, really?
42:38Yeah, she's a great writer.
42:40She's a great writer.
42:40She's very persuasive.
42:41Whatever fucks next.
42:42Look, best day of my life was when they executed Hader.
42:45Right?
42:45More offer onlys for La Forte.
42:47Hey, do you think Michael Cera's a starlighter?
42:49Because we're up at the same part right now, and it'd be pretty good if he got Vanished.
42:51You've been friends with him for 20 years, Chris.
42:53Yeah, but I really need this part, man.
42:55Hold up, hold up.
42:57What's up?
42:58Homelander.
42:59Soldier Boy.
42:59Wow.
43:00I'm Will.
43:01Remember me?
43:01I'm the one who turned in Channing Tatum.
43:06Seth Rogen, we actually met once before with Black Noir at the premiere for Silent Vengeance
43:103, Vengeance Reloaded.
43:13Big fan.
43:14I'm actually testifying in front of Congress for you, you know, outing suspected starlighters.
43:17Spoiler alert.
43:18Post Malone.
43:20You need to get the fuck away from me right now.
43:22You bet.
43:22Yeah.
43:24We came here looking for something.
43:26What do you know about V1?
43:29You coming to the right place?
43:38There you go.
43:42Oh yeah.
43:43Vod yanked that one from the newsstands after Kent State.
43:47Good times.
43:48How'd you end up with it?
43:49Some old bitch on eBay.
43:50I paid 20 bucks.
43:51I mean, it'd go for half a mil at auction.
43:53Easy.
44:01Yeah, Dr. Vod was a titan.
44:04A visionary.
44:05He was a pansy.
44:06With a German accent and sweaty palms.
44:08He was a complicated guy.
44:17Do you, or do you not, have V1?
44:22I don't.
44:23But Bombside does.
44:24He does.
44:26That piece of shit's still alive.
44:27Yeah.
44:28He was my best customer for a long time.
44:30What makes you think he has it?
44:31One night he was tweaked out of his gourd and he told me he has some and I believe him.
44:34Where is he?
44:35Me and Bombside are so cool.
44:36Why don't we all just hang out for a sec and I'll call him.
44:39He'll fly right over.
44:47I'll skip this up in Bogota where you're taking the best.
44:49You mean for the soldier boy?
44:51Nothing but the best.
44:57Seth?
44:58Oh, no.
44:59I actually hate weed.
45:00I just pretend to like it from my brand so I can sell ashtrays to suckers.
45:06Yo, Homelander.
45:08You want to hit this?
45:10It is my life goal to smoke you out, homie.
45:15Don't call me that.
45:18Homelander.
45:19It's good to see you again.
45:23Do I know you?
45:24Yeah.
45:25We met like six times.
45:27Malchemical.
45:28Make deadly gases.
45:29Did that whole campaign with gas sex.
45:34That's embarrassing.
45:36Homelander is still as weird as he was when I was there.
45:39I wasn't there back then, but yes.
45:41Let's get this one.
45:42One time, Adela do.
45:43Misha Barton wanted to sock him off, right?
45:45He spent two hours talking to her about Nietzsche, then left when she stepped on his cape.
45:49Ugh.
45:50That fucking cape.
45:51Like a baby with a blanket.
45:52Pretty sure he jerks off into it.
45:54Probably why it's so stiff.
45:55Say that again.
45:59Oh, can't you take a fucking joke?
46:04Say it again.
46:07If not as much.
46:08If Malmside's not coming, I'm leaving.
46:10No, he's on his way.
46:11Be here any minute.
46:11I swear.
46:15Nah, I'm done.
46:18Oh shit.
46:19By the way.
46:20Hey!
46:21I heard you all.
46:22And I want you all to know that very soon, gentlemen, you are going to pay for your sick posts
46:28and your hateful memes.
46:30Especially the memes.
46:34No, no, no, no.
46:35It was Camille and Seth's idea.
46:36What?
46:37Fuck you, Forte.
46:38He was fucking his idea, man.
46:39If he is just sucking your dick so you can help his shitty fucking career.
46:42Take him, okay?
46:43Shit, I'll take him out for you right now.
46:44Oh, really?
46:44Yeah.
46:45You want to take me, bitch?
46:45I'm fucking yoked.
46:46Really?
46:47Okay, Forte.
46:48You're making this worse?
46:51He really should round up Michael Cera.
46:54Hold on.
46:56Sorry, quick question.
46:57What?
46:58Oh, for fuck's sake.
47:05Who's memorable now?
47:06What the fuck?
47:07Easy, easy, easy.
47:08Can we fuck off, please?
47:09John McGruber, everything is cool.
47:11Hey man, we don't have a problem with you.
47:12Honest.
47:12But, but, but, but, fuck this fucking guy.
47:14You know, he fucked my life.
47:16If you help us get rid of him, then we all win.
47:18And you, you can have the seven.
47:20And I don't even, like, really care if you bring me back or whatever.
47:23I don't need to kill him to get the seven.
47:24No, yeah, of course not.
47:25But what about all that creepy shit he's doing with that church?
47:27I mean, they're rounding up everybody cool.
47:29All the hookers, the drug dealers.
47:31They want to ban porn.
47:32I mean, they want to ban fucking abortions.
47:34Okay, well banning abortion wouldn't be a big problem for me personally.
47:37Exactly, for all of us.
47:39So if we kill him, we can stop worrying about being cops or gods or asexual weirdos.
47:44You know, we can go back to fucking and being fucking awesome.
47:47Look, we know you've got that fucked up chest blast thing.
47:50I mean, I was at Hero Gas and I saw it.
47:52Just finish him.
47:53Now, take away his powers so we can harp stomp him while we have the chance.
48:03He is a fucking asexual weirdo.
48:05Yeah, yeah.
48:07But as much as it pains me to say this,
48:10he's my fucking asexual weirdo.
48:15Nobody fucks my son but me.
48:18What?
48:19That came out wrong.
48:25Fuck!
48:35Get away!
48:37Oh, fuck!
48:40Damn it, Trey.
48:41I need to stick to acting up top of those fuck my shit.
48:43Huh?
48:44Soldier Boy!
48:48911, what's your emergency?
48:50Please send police right now.
48:51I don't know the actress.
48:53You know the actress?
48:54I don't know the actress.
48:54Oh, fuck.
48:55Fuck.
48:56It's okay.
48:56Shut up.
48:57I'm not gonna kill you.
48:58I'm gonna get you out of here what you need to do exactly as I say.
49:07Don't, don't.
49:12Fuck!
49:21Fuck!
49:22No!
49:23No!
49:29What's it gonna be?
49:31What's that?
49:33Fuck!
49:34Hey, hey, hey, hey!
49:35This isn't bad.
49:36Well, uh, I didn't mean to.
49:39I wouldn't say that.
49:41It's gonna be okay.
49:42I'll remember you every time I watch an American pickle.
49:46What?
50:25Does Bombside really have it?
50:28Fuck you!
50:29I'm gonna rip your balls off and stuff them down your throat!
50:31That'd be like trying to shove two grapefruits through a garden hose.
50:34Does Bombside have the V1?
50:39Oh, yes, yes, okay, yes, that part was through.
50:42I swear to fucking God, man, he's got it.
50:44Where is he?
50:44I don't know.
50:45Where the fuck is he?
50:45I don't know.
50:46I haven't talked to him in like five years.
50:47I swear to God, please.
51:00What happened?
51:02I took care of it.
51:06Why?
51:08Because fuck them.
51:10That's why.
51:12I don't think this micro prick was lying.
51:15Bombside has to be one.
51:16I'm just gonna find him.
51:18Also, um, I've been fucking firecracker.
51:25But out of respect for you, that's, uh, that's done.
51:31Plus our pillow talk was, need to be a real drag.
51:36Pillow talk?
52:05Oh, Lander.
52:09How was L.A.?
52:12Did you catch Annette's truth bomb?
52:14I did indeed.
52:16And it was a real barn burner.
52:18Well done.
52:18Thank you, sir.
52:19That means the world.
52:22How's sex with my father?
52:26Is he good at it?
52:28Are you thinking about me when you're making love to him?
52:34I never meant to cross a line or offend you.
52:37No, no, no, no, no.
52:38Don't fret, little one.
52:40I don't care about the sex.
52:41Really.
52:43I do care about your little chats after sex.
52:46Sir, whatever Soldier Boy told you, I can assure you that I...
52:49You mean your inner turmoil when it comes to me and, uh...
52:55Jesus.
52:57Are you thinking of Jesus when you're praising me?
53:00No, you are my one and only savior.
53:03You say that, but your jagged little heart is whirring like a hummingbird.
53:11You're supposed to worship me.
53:13Love me.
53:15And me alone.
53:17I do.
53:17I believed in you.
53:19Turns out...
53:21You don't believe in me.
53:25I need you to collect your things.
53:28And leave.
53:31But I do believe in you.
53:33I love you.
53:35I'm the only one here who ever has.
53:38I gave you everything.
53:40I gave you my soul.
53:42And everybody else here, they're just...
53:44They're just scared of you.
53:45Or they want something from you.
53:47But I have always loved you for you.
53:52Just the strongest.
53:54Smartest.
53:56Best man on earth.
53:58Man.
53:59No, no, no, no, no, no.
54:00God, no.
54:01No, me.
54:02God.
54:03Oh, Lord.
54:05That look you used to get when you'd suck on me.
54:08I felt like Mother Mary herself.
54:10I felt blessed.
54:13To nourish someone as...
54:15Important as you.
54:20But nothing I ever did was good enough, was it?
54:23You cast me out of the cold.
54:26Which was so much worse than ever feeling your warmth in the first place.
54:30So all I have been trying to do is to get you to see me the way that you used
54:35to.
54:36Hell, the only reason I was with Soulja Boy was because your reflected light is better than no light at
54:44all.
54:45Please, sir.
54:48I love you.
54:49We all need love, don't we?
54:53Even God.
54:57Even God.
55:08Even God.
55:13You all need love.
55:15You all need love.
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