- 11 hours ago
Virgin Island (2025) Season 2 Episode 1
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00:04I'm nervous. I'm going to take it one step at a time. I'm absolutely petrified.
00:10Twelve virgins are travelling to a unique island retreat that could change their lives forever.
00:19This is maybe the strangest day of my life.
00:21Being a virgin at the age of 22 feels very lonely. I've just sort of given up all hope.
00:28In a world saturated with sex, more young adults than ever are caught in an intimacy epidemic.
00:35The thought of having sex with someone...
00:37Scares me. It gives me the ick.
00:39I don't feel confident.
00:40I'm missing out.
00:41Terrified at the thought of it.
00:42Nerve-wracking.
00:43Gut-wrenching.
00:44Embarrassing.
00:45All I think about is what I'm going to get wrong.
00:48Can you point to the outer labia?
00:51Nope.
00:54Now...
00:55Oh, my God!
00:56They're getting a crash course in intimacy.
00:59Social media, porn, dating apps. There are so many negative messages and we can help them blossom.
01:06Use it by stimulating the area.
01:08Guided by a team of experts.
01:10You see yourself as...
01:12Propulsive.
01:13They'll confront their insecurities.
01:15I'm hiding. How upset actually do you feel?
01:19Exploring intimacy...
01:21In every form.
01:23Yes.
01:24Yes.
01:25Yes.
01:25Good.
01:26And maybe...
01:27Do you want to put a condom on?
01:29Have sex with a trained therapist.
01:32Desperate times. Call for desperate measures.
01:34Woo!
01:35Or even one another.
01:37Why are you nervous around me?
01:38I don't know.
01:39It's so good.
01:41I really do need to change my life.
01:43The question is...
01:45Get a room, guys!
01:47Who will finally be ready...
01:49Just, like, get a bit anxious.
01:51...to go all the way...
01:53Touching me here again?
01:54Mm-hmm.
01:54...on Virgin Island.
02:05It is such a beautiful day to show up on the island.
02:08It's perfect.
02:09For the next three weeks...
02:11Hi!
02:12Hi!
02:13...this groundbreaking retreat will be home to 12 young people.
02:17Would you like a hug?
02:18Yeah, go on then.
02:20From all over the UK...
02:22Hello!
02:23You must be Tegan.
02:24Yes.
02:25...who need help.
02:26Well, I didn't fall in the sea, so I've done better than I thought I was going to do.
02:31I've never kissed anyone.
02:32I've never dated anyone.
02:33I've never had sex with anyone.
02:34I am a grade-A virgin.
02:37My life just can't go on like this.
02:39I just need to take your phone.
02:40Yes, of course.
02:42The retreat's rules include a full break from the pressures of technology.
02:46So you can just, like, dive in.
02:48Yeah, yeah, yeah.
02:50You see sex everywhere.
02:51Sex sells is the old cliché.
02:53Be it from social media, porn.
02:56But always playing on my mind is that I can't get an erection.
02:59Being a virgin at the age of 28, I feel almost a failure in many ways.
03:07The group will live on the island for three weeks.
03:10Oh, this is your recommendation.
03:13Totally cut off from the distractions of modern life.
03:16Go ahead and get settled.
03:18OK, there's clothes there.
03:20Including the pressures of their appearance.
03:22Oh, wow.
03:24They're giving off jungle vibes.
03:26I've always hated my body and I've got badly bullied over it in the past.
03:31I'm terrified to be naked in front of someone.
03:35It does make me cry when I think about it.
03:38Yeah, it makes me really upset.
03:46Before the course begins, the group have a chance to get to know each other at the hangout.
03:51Hello.
03:53Callum.
03:54I'm Katie.
03:55Hi.
03:55Nice to meet you.
03:56Where are you from?
03:58Er, Blackpool.
03:59From Peterborough.
04:00Peterborough?
04:01Yeah.
04:03Shithole.
04:05I literally don't do anything other than sit on my computer 24-7.
04:11I'm definitely addicted to gaming.
04:13I don't really interact with any girls.
04:16It makes me feel alone.
04:19Where are you from?
04:21Oh, sorry.
04:22Born in the UK but raised in South Africa.
04:24But live in the UK.
04:26I instantly don't trust men.
04:29Alex, nice to meet you.
04:30Hi.
04:31It makes me a bit sad.
04:33And I don't really know what to do about it, to be honest.
04:37So, how old are you?
04:38I'm 28.
04:39You're 28.
04:40I'm 23.
04:41I'm 22.
04:4226.
04:43I'm quite robotic with women.
04:46I've had no girlfriends.
04:48It's actually a bit sad, isn't it?
04:50We've got another person.
04:51Hi.
04:52Oh.
04:52Hiya.
04:53With sexual intimacy, I feel a little bit broken.
04:58I can't have sex.
05:00I have a condition called vaginismus.
05:03If somebody tried to touch my vagina, it would be pain and it would be discomfort.
05:06And I'm living life in fear.
05:09The way that you're seen as a woman who can't physically have sex is like, what's the point?
05:18One of the reasons that people are not having sex is there's just a lot more self-consciousness.
05:22Everybody's being watched all the time, you know, by their parents, by social media, by their friends.
05:27Hello.
05:28So we're seeing a lot more people just not getting out there and connecting.
05:32There's lots of fear around being cancelled and they're terrified of failing.
05:38But we got amazing results last time and I have really high hopes for this new group of virgins.
05:44Hi, everyone.
05:45I'm Ellen.
05:46Nice to meet you all.
05:48How old are you?
05:50Um, 35.
05:53Wow.
05:53Only just.
05:54I don't want to get to 40 and still be the virgin.
05:59The expectation of you're married, you've got kids.
06:02And at 35, I haven't got those things.
06:06I feel like a freak, really.
06:08And, like, I've, you know, let people down.
06:13Yeah.
06:14So is anyone else in the LGBTQ plus community?
06:18Obviously.
06:18Yeah, you're going to be the only gay on the island.
06:21Trust me or not.
06:22I grew up in a very traditional town.
06:25There wasn't a lot of open queer people.
06:28When I knew I was bi, I didn't tell my parents.
06:31I was actually quite scared.
06:33I identify as bisexual, but I'm quite a late bloom.
06:37At school, it was a discussion about masturbation.
06:41I thought it was a game show.
06:43I thought it was mastermind.
06:46Hello.
06:47Hello.
06:48My name's Ed.
06:49What's he?
06:49Do you want to know first?
06:50What's your star sign?
06:53That's always a question.
06:56I feel like an outsider a lot of the time.
06:58The big part of that is my disability.
07:00I was born without a right pectoral.
07:03Restricted movement in my wrist and my arm, it has impacted the way I am.
07:08I wouldn't have the confidence to talk to girls.
07:11I find it really hard.
07:14Well, hey.
07:15You're the last one.
07:16Hi, my name's Will.
07:18I've just turned 30.
07:19I'm a virgin.
07:21Being a virgin, it's not something I'm proud of.
07:24Something I experienced when I was younger is premature ejaculation.
07:27I fear that may still be an issue now.
07:29So I think when I have sex for the first time, it's going to be really quick.
07:34The idea of having sex is a faraway dream for me.
07:38Yeah, yeah, yeah.
07:39I've never had a girlfriend ever.
07:41Same.
07:41Yeah.
07:42One of the nicknames I have is Posh Bertie.
07:46I'm a very well-spoken individual.
07:49I've not told anyone that I'm a virgin, but I think people would guess, yeah, he's a virgin
07:56to me.
07:57Definitely feel one step behind everyone.
08:01Yeah.
08:02The group knows the weeks ahead won't be easy, but they have a determination to change their
08:08lives.
08:09Breathe into your own body.
08:12This unique course has been created by pioneering sex therapists, Celeste and Danielle.
08:19And let it out.
08:22The ethos at the retreat is very supportive.
08:26There's so much for them to learn.
08:28We have new exercises, new experts and some special surprises.
08:35Supported by a team of sex therapists from across the globe.
08:40Trained in a range of touch-based therapies.
08:43Which finger would you like to enter me with?
08:45They'll address the group's anxieties.
08:48She is terrified of lowering the mask.
08:52And push them to their limits.
08:55Amazing.
08:57Hidden away on the island are dedicated therapy spaces.
09:01And private bedrooms, where they'll begin to explore intimacy.
09:06I'm hoping that everybody gets to find out who they are as a sexual being, regardless of
09:11being a virgin.
09:13But it is going to be a huge challenge.
09:16Each phase of the course will challenge the group like never before.
09:26As they take their first steps towards...
09:31Sexual connection.
09:39And it all starts here.
09:42Oh my God.
09:43I'm so nervous.
09:45Yeah.
09:45Oh, welcome.
09:47By confronting one of the biggest barriers to intimacy.
09:54Shame.
09:58Welcome to Virgin Island.
10:00We're so excited to have you here.
10:02This phase is all about shame.
10:05Shame really interrupts pleasure.
10:10And so we are shame warriors.
10:13We want to wipe away the shame that gets in your way.
10:16If I could shake off the shame of being a virgin, I'd feel a lot happier in myself.
10:23I feel judged, and it's not something that I talk about, really.
10:31First, Celeste and Danielle will perform an intimate demonstration, designed to reveal
10:36the group's level of awkwardness and shame.
10:39So, this demo is called Pillow Talk.
10:42Oh, God.
10:44There's a bed.
10:45Oh, my gosh.
10:46I'm starting to feel a bit sick.
10:47Yeah.
10:48Terrified.
10:48We want to find out who is comfortable watching intimacy and the different kinds of talk and
10:54touch that come with romance, that come with passion, that come with erotic energy.
11:01Oh, my God.
11:03Your eyes are so beautiful and sexy.
11:07And the way you hold yourself turns me on so much.
11:11I think I'm going to have to smell you.
11:14Oh.
11:19I feel so lucky to be able to touch you.
11:40Any feelings watching it?
11:47Like, weird having to watch it with other people.
11:49It's a bit...
11:50Yeah.
11:51I think I just feel, like, a little bit guilty.
11:53I think, like, the idea of watching this and then being asked to, like, do that, that's,
11:58like, sinful.
12:03Growing up as a Christian, you kind of feel you should be one way, which is usually a very
12:09good way.
12:09I have to be kind.
12:10I have to be soft, but I have a sexual side to myself.
12:15It kind of brings on these feelings of shame and fear because you feel you're doing something
12:21sinful for wanting to experience pleasure.
12:23And I don't see a light at the end of the tunnel right now.
12:29We all have ideas and judgment and what we think we should be.
12:33And all those interventions frees us up.
12:37The best way to work your way out of shame is to start to get a different reaction to shame.
12:45To help the group do that...
12:47You are going to get your scratch on.
12:50No.
12:51I ain't doing that.
12:53Celeste and Danielle start with a series.
12:55I am folding my arms.
12:58This is just so awkward.
13:00...of deliberately uncomfortable exercises.
13:03Now, I'm going to be choo-choo trained.
13:10I see myself as very socially awkward and sometimes weird.
13:18Shake it, shake it, shake it.
13:20I was diagnosed with autism.
13:22I get nervous.
13:23I get stressed.
13:24My eye contact goes all over the place.
13:26Being a virgin, you just feel very isolated and you feel very ashamed of yourself.
13:34After the warm-up, Celeste and Danielle raise the stakes with a more challenging physical exercise.
13:41So I want a brave volunteer.
13:45Somatic therapy is not just focusing on the brain.
13:47It's helping people in a more physical, experiential way.
13:51I'll do it.
13:52Go on, Alex.
13:53Go on, Alex.
13:55For 28-year-old graduate Alex, going first is a chance to face his fears.
14:01Anxiety has played a massive part in my life.
14:03Going to private school, I put myself under a lot of pressure that if I didn't perform my best, I'd
14:08feel I'd let people down.
14:09I never really knew how bad it was until I tried to have sex and was too nervous to do
14:14it.
14:14Anything less than perfect is not good enough for me.
14:17So I'm going to start by touching you for my pleasure.
14:20And then you're going to touch me for your pleasure.
14:23I'm starting by connecting with myself and feeling my body.
14:49I'm starting by connecting with myself and feeling my body.
15:08Really feeling it in your body, that's what we're going for.
15:13After Alex's attempt, others step up to give it a try.
15:19You like to do it a bit harder.
15:21Harder?
15:26While some get to grips with the exercise...
15:30How's that feel?
15:31It feels nice.
15:32Yeah.
15:33...others can't even bear to watch.
15:46Are you all right?
15:48Are you okay?
15:55Are you okay?
15:55You can all stand and bleed if you want.
15:57It's okay.
15:58Are you all right?
16:08Anyone else want to give it a try?
16:13Counting one.
16:15Counting two.
16:18Counting three.
16:20Okay.
16:23Oh, my God.
16:24That was hard.
16:26Personally, that was a little bit creepy.
16:28I need to be able to be confident in myself to do the whole touching exercise.
16:32I believe the cool kids call it riz.
16:34I need to have good riz.
16:36At the start, like, when they was doing all the...
16:40Oh, that, yeah.
16:41I thought we'd have to do that to each other.
16:42I was genuinely...
16:45That's intense for our first workshop.
16:47To throw yourself in as much as possible to experience, like, all these cringe things and embarrassing things was a
16:52struggle.
16:53Joy, if you don't mind me asking, why, um, was it so hard for you?
16:56The whole touching thing, why did you get, like, a bit of a reaction to it?
17:00Mm-hmm.
17:01You don't want to talk?
17:03Yeah, not really.
17:03No worries.
17:05That workshop was such an emotionally intense experience.
17:08To come on the island day one and be expected to have some kind of erotic energy.
17:13It's a really hard thing for me.
17:14I didn't realise how uncomfortable that might make me feel.
17:18Um, next time, I would walk out.
17:32So beautiful.
17:33Yeah, it is, isn't it?
17:34Oh!
17:35Come here, come here, Lizzie!
17:37Oh, my God!
17:38I've never seen Eliza before.
17:40Eww!
17:41Oh, I don't like it.
17:42Come out at night and nibble you.
17:44I might have to tuck my trousers into my socks in case it cools up my leg.
17:48Yeah, and he's gone.
17:51It's halfway through day one on Virgin Island.
17:54I don't want to name exact figures, but I think it was, like, one in eight people.
17:57Virgin's at 25.
17:58So, in a room this big, it's, like, one and a bit people.
18:01Well, I think in this room it'd be all 12.
18:03Yeah, yeah, yeah.
18:04Yeah.
18:04On an island, on a Virgin Island.
18:06LAUGHTER
18:16It's very interesting to see how they reacted to different exercises.
18:20Oh, they've got a one-on-one session here, guys.
18:23Oh, my God.
18:25Afternoons are dedicated to individual therapy sessions for those working through specific
18:30intimacy issues.
18:32I don't know if I feel more calm or more stressed.
18:35Yeah.
18:37Everybody has this fear, like, oh, my God, it's going to be so scary or uncomfortable.
18:41But you have to completely rewire your brain in order for change to really happen.
18:47Hi there.
18:48Hi.
18:49How do you feel?
18:51Kind of on edge, I guess.
18:52Mm-hmm.
18:53The more you can be honest and drop into your truth without too much humour.
18:57Yeah, I can't promise you that.
18:58That is going to allow us to go somewhere.
19:00Oh, I don't like this.
19:02I don't like crying.
19:03I feel like I just can't relax.
19:05I'm still really scared.
19:06I'm not sure why.
19:10Out of all the reactions from this morning, the experts were most struck by our joys.
19:16When Will and Marianne were touching, I could see her.
19:21Some tears came out.
19:23She really struggled with that.
19:28Some came up for you today in the workshop.
19:31Well, I feel like I have this weight on my shoulders.
19:33Of like, I'm a Christian.
19:34You have to be good.
19:35Yeah.
19:36And experiencing sexual pleasure for fun.
19:38Mm-hmm.
19:39How is that good?
19:40Yeah.
19:41But it isn't just feelings of religious shame that are holding joy back.
19:46I know I have a sexual side to me.
19:48Mm-hmm.
19:49But I have vaginismus.
19:51Vaginismus is a condition related to your pelvic floor.
19:55And also has a psychological fear component around the idea of insertion or entry.
20:01The moment I realized that I had vaginismus, it was like this whole idea of a sector of my life
20:06that could be just closed up.
20:08I can't wear a tampon, I can't do a pap smear, and I definitely can't have sex.
20:14It's just, it's so hard.
20:16At one point, like, I literally thought that God cursed me with vaginismus.
20:20I thought he, like, I thought he did it to me to stop me from having sex.
20:24And I feel like it's hard to, like, undo that feeling.
20:30Maybe that first piece is about pleasure being good.
20:39I'm really tight.
20:41I'm really, like, anxious.
20:42I feel like I'm like, no, it's not, no, it's not, no, it's not.
20:45And that clench happens probably all the way into your vagina.
20:50So I want you to feel all of the tightness and the clenchedness.
20:54And then you can feel the contrast.
20:57Let's feel the clench.
20:58Let's feel the clench and then, ah.
21:08Like a little shakiness happened in your, did you feel it?
21:12Yeah.
21:13You know what that is?
21:14What?
21:15It's like a little tiny release of trauma.
21:17Oh, wow.
21:18From all the holding.
21:21You deserve to have that circuit of pleasure.
21:30Shame gets in the way of sexual intimacy.
21:33And you cannot get to the other side of shame until you expose it.
21:37I feel a bit, like, in shock.
21:39It was, it was quite intense.
21:41I just hadn't even realised all the tension I'd been holding in my body.
21:44It just made me realise, like, how much I need this experience.
21:51For a gold star lesbian, my mind's constantly in the gutter.
21:55What's a gold star lesbian?
21:56A gold star lesbian is someone who has never had sex with a man.
21:59Ah, OK.
22:00The thought of a penis going near me scares me in a way that's like, ew, get away.
22:05Nothing to do with you guys.
22:06No, no, it's cool.
22:07I get that.
22:07I'm like, anything below their tummy, I'm like, no.
22:10I mean, you probably all have amazing penises, I'm not saying.
22:14Oh, my God.
22:15It doesn't matter to come so quick, don't matter.
22:22As the group starts to bond...
22:24Oh, this is really, like, giving hippie vibes, isn't it?
22:28Celeste and Danielle aim to push them further in the next exercise.
22:32Hello.
22:32Hello.
22:33To help release their shame once and for all.
22:38All right, well, as we said, this part of the course is all about shame.
22:41What we want you to do is write in your notebooks all the negative things people say about you
22:48and all the self-critical thoughts you keep repeating to yourself.
22:52We really need to get them out so that we can take the power away from them.
23:00Be careful.
23:02The group have been sent off in pairs to share their shame words.
23:06It's difficult.
23:07Yeah, I'm not exactly an open book.
23:10People see me as fat, ugly.
23:14And as they identify their insecurities...
23:17I don't like how I'm not at all that good socially.
23:21It's why I've never been on a date before, really.
23:25Yeah.
23:25Their barriers come down.
23:27Ugly, unattractive to girls.
23:31Have been able to get a date in years.
23:33My anxiety, particularly around intimacy and interacting with women.
23:38I worry that I'm just not good enough.
23:44But 23-year-old Katie...
23:46Bad things people are saying about me...
23:48..is writing more than most.
23:51I was once labelled the ugliest girl in school.
23:54Oh, my God.
23:55Um, a whale, fat-slash-obese, ugly, a liar, monster disappointment...
24:02..and frigid, because I've never gone with anyone before.
24:06Yeah.
24:10I know how it feels to have something horrible said to me.
24:14Sometimes I look in the mirror to make myself upset...
24:17..because I need a good cry, and it works.
24:20I don't think there's ever been a time where I truly...
24:24..have felt good in my looks.
24:27..ever.
24:28No.
24:29Are those things people have actually said about you?
24:32To my face or online, where I've seen.
24:34Online?
24:35Yeah.
24:35People that I know in person.
24:37Oh, my God.
24:38In my life.
24:38Yeah, I've commented publicly.
24:42Yeah.
24:42Oh, my gosh.
24:43I'm so sorry.
24:53Figuring out the words, though, is only half the exercise.
24:57How did you find that...?
25:00It was quite challenging.
25:01I was going to say the same.
25:02Yeah.
25:02It was quite hard.
25:03So, Joy, this one's for you.
25:06Now the experts want them to write their words down on a T-shirt
25:09to confront and let go of their self-doubt.
25:12I'm going to invite you to narrow down
25:15from all the things that you've written
25:17which ones hold the most emotion
25:20so that you can create a T-shirt that's a symbol of all of that.
25:24Mm-hm.
25:27I'm scared that I'm going to get upset.
25:30Thinking back about all the memories and stuff from school
25:32and all the bad things that I got told
25:35and I say to myself, it's quite difficult.
25:41But I really do want to be able to get as much out of this as I can.
25:46It's scary, though.
26:03Good morning.
26:04Good morning.
26:05Good morning.
26:05Good morning.
26:06Hey, you guys.
26:07How are we going?
26:07Good morning.
26:09Oh, we've got raisins.
26:11Don't tell me you're eating a lemon.
26:12I like lemon.
26:15It's the morning on Virgin Island.
26:19I'm really nervous for today.
26:20And the sessions are set to become even more revealing.
26:24As we go through this phase,
26:26I do feel quite a big shame over myself.
26:29So I'm a little bit apprehensive.
26:32I was so nervous at first workshop.
26:33My heart was going...
26:34I didn't realise how nervous I was.
26:36Sex and intimacy are meant to be natural
26:38and experienced by lots of people and enjoyed,
26:40whereas me, I sort of feel scared of them.
26:42Let's go.
26:43I never finished my business.
26:44I have no idea how far I'm going to go with this.
26:47You know, it's only going to get more intense from here.
26:53Having faced many hard truths...
26:55Hello!
26:58..Celeste and Danielle's next exercise
27:00will challenge the group even further.
27:02Oh, dear, that was a bird.
27:04Oh, no.
27:05With some exposure therapy,
27:09Virgin Island style.
27:10Society gives these negative messages to us
27:13about what it means to be a sexual being.
27:15So it's really important
27:17to get comfortable with intimacy.
27:21Today, you're going to be exploring erotic life drawing.
27:27We're going to invite our lovely models.
27:30There they are.
27:31Here they are.
27:33The only time that I've seen vagina or boobs
27:36is off, like, sticky-vicky when I went to Benidorm.
27:39That is probably the only time
27:40I've ever really seen it in real life.
27:43I've seen some images online
27:45and I'm like,
27:47ooh, actually, penises are a bit ugly.
27:50I know the different parts
27:51and the names of the female anatomy.
27:54But, do you know,
27:55I genuinely don't think
27:57I've seen one in person.
27:59I'm the most white meat virgin
28:02you could possibly meet.
28:04Don't hide.
28:05Keep your eyes open
28:06and be curious.
28:24Oh, my God.
28:25So many naked parts right now.
28:28So I don't want you to worry
28:29about showing off your artistic talent.
28:31It's really about looking at a naked body
28:34and letting yourself feel the sensuality of that.
28:37Oh, my gosh.
28:38Oh, my gosh.
28:41Just roll.
28:44It's not a lie to start this.
28:46Neither do I.
28:46Oh, we got this.
28:48We're expecting to see some discomfort,
28:52embarrassment,
28:53to be exposed to naked bodies.
28:56We can really see the comfort level.
29:00Stop making me laugh, Jason.
29:04Embarrassing.
29:08I can't tell you what's wrong.
29:11All I can see is vaginas and boobs.
29:17Whilst the sight of naked bodies
29:19has everyone giggling awkwardly...
29:21I really feel uncomfortable.
29:24..Ellen is struggling the most.
29:26BIRDS
29:30Growing up,
29:31my parents would never talk about sex.
29:34And at the time,
29:35there wasn't the internet
29:36as there is now.
29:38I'm in my 30s.
29:39I am gay.
29:40And I've not had a relationship
29:42and I've not had experience
29:44around sexual intimacy.
29:46Sex, it's something that
29:48I feel anxious about.
29:53Don't want to do it.
29:56No-one is seeing mine
29:57because it is absolutely terrible.
29:59You don't have to show me
30:00if you don't want to.
30:01One second sneak peek.
30:03Done.
30:04Can I have a two-second sneak peek?
30:05No.
30:06So we really want to thank
30:08our beautiful models here.
30:13Any thoughts that you want to share?
30:19I was instantly like,
30:21oh my gosh, oh my gosh,
30:22I shouldn't be watching this.
30:23I felt the discomfort of that.
30:25Yeah.
30:30It felt like you were literally
30:31watching like a group porno.
30:33I was like, oh, I want to look,
30:34but I was like, oh,
30:34it feels wrong to look.
30:37Nudity felt a bit
30:38too soon for me.
30:41Despite being the oldest
30:42of the group.
30:43Can you kiss someone?
30:44Do you do it with your eyes open
30:45or your eyes closed?
30:47Please study that person.
30:50Ellen's lack of experience
30:51is clear to everyone.
30:55She was having a hard time
30:56to look at you.
30:57I'm excited to have
30:59a session with her
31:00to introduce her
31:01to the first steps
31:02of intimacy.
31:04With a storm approaching,
31:07Ellen's feeling
31:07a little blustered.
31:09Hello.
31:10It's windy.
31:16Ellen.
31:18You have a sexy smile.
31:20Okay.
31:23Louie had a tiny,
31:25tiny little exchange
31:26of erotic energy.
31:27Yeah.
31:28Yeah.
31:28Did you feel it?
31:32No, but I guess
31:33I don't know
31:34what that feeling is
31:35because I've not
31:35experienced it before.
31:37Yeah.
31:37Yeah.
31:44You know what I love?
31:47Awkward silences
31:48where you just look
31:48at each other.
31:49Okay, yeah.
31:56A lot of times
31:57that's what happens
31:58right before a kiss.
32:00Yeah.
32:03But I don't want...
32:04I don't want that to happen.
32:06No, we're not doing that today.
32:08We're just talking
32:09in a flirtatious way.
32:12What do you think?
32:13Um, I'm thinking I'm fine
32:15as long as you're on that chair
32:16and I'm on this chair.
32:17I'm staying over here.
32:18Don't worry.
32:24Thank you, bye.
32:28How was that, El?
32:29Um, in my head I was like,
32:31okay, I'm going to jump in
32:32and then when I got in there
32:33I was like,
32:34all of a sudden
32:34just like my body
32:35closed up.
32:38I don't like the idea
32:40of someone coming
32:41into my personal space.
32:43That's why I'm here.
32:44Like, I've never been
32:45very good at it.
32:46And I feel like a failure.
32:56Oh.
32:58So are you into females then?
33:00Oh, I'm fine.
33:01A straight, heterosexual male.
33:04Nice.
33:04You are, you're bisexual aren't you?
33:07Yeah, yeah.
33:08Do you know what?
33:09It was so weird.
33:10I had a dream last night
33:11of you guys.
33:11Mainly Alex.
33:13Weird.
33:14I can't wait to tell.
33:17Hello.
33:18Did you know
33:19Katie dreamt about you last night?
33:21No, that's not really weird.
33:23So what happened
33:23in the dream, Katie?
33:25She doesn't really know.
33:26I don't remember at all.
33:29Though Katie was dreaming
33:31of Alex.
33:31For him,
33:32yesterday's workshop
33:33was a nightmare.
33:35I demoed
33:36with him yesterday.
33:38I felt he was
33:40really frozen.
33:41He can be a little
33:42in his head.
33:43So I'm curious
33:44if we're going through
33:45exercises,
33:46if he's just going
33:47to perform them
33:48rather than, like,
33:49actually experiencing
33:50sensation and emotions.
33:53Yeah.
33:53What did it feel like
33:55when you, like,
33:55touched her?
33:56Panicky.
33:57I don't know
33:58how calm it looked
33:59or how I looked,
34:00but, yeah,
34:01my heart was going,
34:02I was shaking a bit.
34:06So Danielle's decided
34:07to dig deeper.
34:08Hello.
34:09Come on in.
34:10Into what's
34:11holding him back.
34:12I feel your heart beating
34:14all the way to here.
34:16Sex for me
34:17has always been
34:18quite a nervous thing.
34:19I've always had anxiety.
34:20I've always had
34:21performance anxiety,
34:22sports, homework,
34:23whatever.
34:24And so the first time
34:24I tried to have sex,
34:25I couldn't get an erection
34:26because I was just
34:27too nervous.
34:28Not being able
34:29to get an erection,
34:30it's constantly
34:31playing on my mind.
34:32It feels embarrassing
34:33even to say it
34:34because it's like,
34:34oh, this is something
34:35that old people deal with.
34:37But I just feel
34:39like defeated by it.
34:41You spend a lot of time
34:42trying to control
34:43your body from your head.
34:45I want to invite you
34:46to start to let your body
34:47control as opposed
34:48to the opposite.
34:49Yeah.
34:49So what I want us
34:50to do now is for you
34:52to touch me
34:53and really let yourself
34:55enjoy.
34:56And do what feels good,
34:57yeah.
34:57What feels good to you.
34:59This time,
35:00Danielle wants to see
35:01if Alex can fully
35:02immerse himself
35:03in his sensations.
35:04Are you OK
35:05for me to start?
35:06Yes, please.
35:08OK, I'm going to
35:08start with your arm.
35:28Then move me down
35:29to your chest.
35:47Hey, honey,
35:48for your thoughts.
35:51The main
35:52overriding thing
35:53is still that worry
35:54of not getting an erection.
35:55but this is like the building blocks
35:58so I really want us to have soft goals
36:00as opposed to hard goals
36:02no bad intended
36:05because your full body
36:07is like a big erection
36:08you know like a full body is
36:11a pleasure tool
36:12it's not only your cock
36:14that's a pleasure tool
36:16do you get it?
36:17yeah absolutely yeah
36:18yeah
36:25what did you do?
36:27just your mutual touching really
36:29but I think I went into it thinking
36:30oh yeah she'll cure me
36:32and I won't feel anxious ever again around women
36:34but you're not going to get cured on the first session
36:36yeah
36:41oh well you do it like that
36:44really?
36:45I thought it was like that
36:46whilst the others start to embrace Ireland
36:48life
36:50Bertie is finding it harder to adjust
36:52oh
36:53okay
36:53I'm a mixture of all nerves
36:55I don't like you sitting by yourself
36:56I'm okay
36:58I do feel like the weak link
37:00and the odd one out
37:01because I'm not very sociable
37:03I'm still cautious
37:04I'm still nervous
37:06you're okay Bertie
37:07I'm good you alright?
37:08I'm alright
37:08yeah I was going to go brush my gums
37:10and do a dance
37:11but what on earth am I going to be like
37:14in the days to come
37:15when it gets more challenging
37:17and more intense
37:19this whole island is
37:22it's not just virgin island
37:24it's unpredictability island
37:36you know what most women say is the length they want to have sex for
37:42four and a half minutes
37:43four and a half?
37:45yeah
37:45no
37:46they want to have sex
37:47no
37:47surely not
37:48yeah
37:48yeah they want sex
37:49the actual P and V
37:51to be four and a half minutes
37:52really?
37:53what's P and V?
37:54penis and vagina
37:56oh
37:57that's good to know
38:02it's mid-afternoon on virgin island
38:0630
38:06are you alright?
38:08I don't know
38:08when everyone's all together
38:09it just gets a bit awkward for me
38:11you know
38:11I like my
38:12oh my god
38:12I nearly fell off
38:13I like my
38:15my space a bit more
38:16just gonna just
38:17take it easy for a bit
38:18yeah?
38:18okay
38:18I'll see you soon
38:19no worries
38:20in terms of sex
38:22I've got no clue
38:23which is pretty embarrassing
38:25coming from someone who's 24 years old
38:28but I don't want to be alone in my whole life
38:31I just want to be able to live normally
38:34and just find more confidence in myself
38:40hi
38:42Celeste aims to start Bertie's route to intimacy
38:45by helping him with connection
38:46hello
38:48oh hello
38:53how do you feel about eye contact?
38:55I knew that was gonna come out
38:57I am terrible at it
38:58my eye contact goes all over the place
39:00no matter who I'm talking to
39:02well I do feel like you think a lot
39:05I am an overthinker
39:06so I want to slow it down a little bit
39:08like let your brain relax a moment
39:10and then see what it's like to come back more deliberately
39:13and connect and look at me
39:24this is a bit awkward isn't it
39:25intimacy is super awkward
39:27I know
39:27that's not gonna go away
39:28yeah
39:29so let's just be awkward together
39:42it's hard to take it seriously
39:44it is
39:44and you don't have to take it so seriously
39:46you can think
39:47we're just having fun
39:49together
39:54yeah
39:55yeah
39:55yeah
39:56yeah
39:57you've got some good sexy eye contact
40:00you might not know it
40:03and now you're looking at me so much more
40:05I feel connected to you
40:09after Bertie perfects the sexy eyes
40:11great
40:12so if you want to scooch over a little bit
40:14yeah
40:15Celeste decides to increase the intimacy
40:20what if I like came in right there for a second
40:25I mean that would be weird but okay
40:27yeah
40:32oh that's so nice
40:33you just perfectly like invited me and cuddled me
40:37wow
40:43I really like it when you kind of rest your cheek against my forehead
40:48yeah
40:49you're very natural
40:51feels natural
40:51feels natural
40:52exactly
40:53feels good
40:57it's not long before Celeste's technique boosts Bertie's confidence
41:03I'll see them giving you a little kiss on the floor
41:05I felt that
41:06I love that
41:07what about
41:08can I give you
41:09go on
41:10yeah
41:14well I've got a lipstick
41:15now you're having a kiss
41:16excellent
41:17you're having a very kiss
41:18thank you very much
41:23love you bye
41:23okay bye
41:25so
41:27Celeste was
41:28she was brilliant
41:28and this has happened
41:31and
41:32I feel a lot more relieved
41:35and a lot more at ease with everything
41:37that was a bit of a confidence boost for me
41:39hi Bertie
41:40hello
41:41you okay
41:42you want to know how it went
41:43what do you think
41:44let's go
41:49Bertie's not gonna wash his cheek
41:58as the sun sets on the retreat
42:00the first phase of the course draws to a close
42:05the first phase of the course has been really intense
42:09getting rid of shame is foundational to being able to have a pleasurable sex life
42:13but the way that they have taken it on
42:16it's unprecedented
42:17they all have challenges
42:19they all have traumas
42:20but every individual is beautiful and unique
42:23and the sky's the limit in terms of what's possible here
42:27to move forward
42:28the group must let go of their negative emotions
42:31oh my gosh that's a fire
42:34hello
42:35hello
42:36hello
42:37hello
42:37so the experts have arranged a ceremonial bonfire
42:40to burn away their lifetime of shame
42:45we've asked you to face your shame directly
42:48you have talked about it
42:50put it on your t-shirts
42:51and now it's time to let it go
42:54the hope is this ritual marks a turning point
42:58and the start of the rest of their lives
43:00so for me shame is feeling ugly
43:05um
43:07sorry
43:08um
43:10yeah i felt ugly
43:11like
43:12most of my life
43:15and
43:15i feel ashamed of myself
43:17for you know
43:19putting on weight
43:21so brave
43:22are you ready to let it go
43:24yeah
43:25it's going in the fire
43:26yes
43:27let it go
43:28let it go
43:30let it go
43:34physical appearance is a common theme
43:37i look at everyone else around me and i think they're far more attractive
43:40never getting matched than dating apps
43:41and it's it makes me feel really crap about myself
43:45fat and ugly
43:46unlovable
43:47and i take up too much room quite literally
43:50i actually got voted ugliest girl in the whole school
43:53oh my god
43:54and depending on the people i can be too loud or too quiet with so
43:58let it go
44:00let it go
44:01let it go
44:06NGE is not good enough
44:08i always feel like i'm falling short of a lot of things
44:11deep-rooted issues around self-worth are also shared across the group
44:16i feel as though like i might perceived as childish
44:20and that i'm a bit unambitious
44:23i've been told i'm too loud
44:25i'm too much for some people
44:27and then that kind of leads on to the second point
44:29which is that i'm unlikable and unlovable
44:33i've not had an adult relationship at all
44:37i feel terribly unwanted
44:38i seriously do
44:40are you ready to let it go
45:03i think i've been like carrying with me some feelings about myself since i was about 12
45:11and i think having these horrible thoughts that i'm a horrible person and that people don't like me and that
45:19i'm really dirty and sinful
45:22let it go
45:23let it go
45:25let it go
45:27let it go
45:27let it go
45:31writing it down on the t-shirt was one thing but to actually speak it out was liberating
45:36yeah
45:37i found it really difficult to throw my top in the fire
45:41i'm just hoping i can become more at one with myself
45:47shame is something that i specifically struggle with a lot
45:49i feel a lot lighter
45:51all my worst things i think about myself are finally like out there and i burned them
46:00next time
46:01your dick is connected to my pussy
46:03it's the turn on phase where the group discover their animal instincts
46:08there's another animal next to you
46:11oh no
46:13emotions are laid bare
46:15quite sad that i'm still stuck with that feeling
46:20and for some things are on the up
46:22it felt really nice when you were brushing past my genitals
46:25would you like me to do that
46:26yeah
46:27yeah
46:27yeah
46:31yeah
46:31yeah
46:34yeah
46:35yeah
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