- 5 hours ago
Virgin Island - Season 2 Episode 3
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TVTranscript
00:30¡Nope!
00:34Now, 12 virgins are getting a crash course in intimacy.
00:39Social media, porn, dating apps.
00:42There are so many negative messages and we can help them blossom.
00:45Use it by stimulating the area.
00:48They'll be guided by experts.
00:50You see yourself as...
00:52Proposal.
00:52...to explore all aspects of intimacy.
00:56And maybe even have sex with a trained therapist.
01:00Do you want to put a condom on?
01:03Or each other.
01:04Get a room, guys.
01:07I really do need to change my life.
01:10Who will be ready...
01:11Desperate times call for desperate measures.
01:14...to go all the way.
01:23We're going to find out what your core desires are.
01:26The last few days on Virgin Island...
01:28The most important thing is to feel wanted.
01:30...saw the group tune in to their turn-ons.
01:33Turn-ons, especially from the more sexual aspect,
01:37should not be shared in front of everybody.
01:39After initial reservations...
01:41And then you want to line up so that your dick is connected to my pussy.
01:46Bertie threw himself in.
01:48If I am going on this island to be the same old person, what am I doing here?
01:55Alex took a big step forward.
01:57Did you feel me fully aroused?
01:59Yeah.
02:00In overcoming performance anxiety.
02:02That felt really good.
02:04My bad.
02:05And some of the group took their first tentative steps.
02:08We're doing touch work completely led by you.
02:11Into surrogate partner therapy.
02:13How did that feel?
02:14It felt good.
02:15It felt really nice.
02:16Okay, great.
02:17I feel so connected to you.
02:19However, the next phase will test the group...
02:23Oh my God, I got goosebumps.
02:25...in a whole new way.
02:26Dating is such an essential skill because that's the first step in order to go and have sex.
02:34Building trust and confidence are the most important thing when it comes to dating.
02:38And that's what we're here for.
02:52It's another day on Virgin Island.
02:55Oh, you've got mail.
02:57And the start of a new two-day phase of the course.
03:01The next phase is dating.
03:03Nothing like a date on a remote island.
03:08This is something that I have absolutely no experience in whatsoever.
03:17I'm going to struggle with this one, I think.
03:21Morning.
03:22Morning.
03:22Morning, Alex.
03:23Have you done much dating?
03:25Not, I wouldn't say much.
03:26No.
03:26How are you guys feeling about it?
03:28It's the worst thing for me.
03:29I just don't know how to make a conversation.
03:32Dating just isn't my sort of thing at all.
03:35It's not worked for me in the past and it's probably one of the reasons I'm still, you know, solo.
03:40Have you done a date before?
03:41No, not ever.
03:42Never in my life.
03:43Yeah.
03:44The dating phase, I don't think positively scared makes sense, but it's how I feel.
03:50Or nervously excited.
03:54In an increasingly difficult dating landscape...
03:58One in five adults in the UK have given up altogether.
04:03Dating is terrifying for this generation, not knowing how to negotiate consent.
04:08Good morning.
04:10So it is very important for the group to feel empowered so they feel confident to date.
04:18We all know that dating is hard.
04:21Apps are overwhelming, people ghost each other.
04:23But we're here to make dating fun.
04:28You don't want to look at the first date as,
04:30this is pressure and I need to try to get in a relationship with this person.
04:33You want to be flirtatious and playful and share sexual energy and chemistry.
04:37And we're going to teach you how to do that.
04:41I've never got past the first age stage.
04:43They've either ghosted me or they've decided we're better off as friends.
04:48I wouldn't want to approach a woman.
04:50There's the issue of coming off as creepy, coming off as weird.
04:54I could say something unintentionally wrong and do something unintentionally wrong.
04:59And before you know it, you have completely ruined everything.
05:03To avoid misreading the signals on a date,
05:06Celeste and Danielle want to help the group escalate intimacy with consent.
05:11If you're like, can I do this? Can I do this? Can I do this?
05:14It completely breaks the mood.
05:15So we want to teach you how to escalate in a very sexy way.
05:19So I need one brave volunteer.
05:28Okay.
05:31Consent is essential in creating trust and escalating intimacy.
05:36Hi.
05:38And we want to make consent sexy.
05:42Because in order to enjoy the beginning stages of intimacy,
05:45you need to take away the fear of what happens next.
05:50Firstly, you're so gorgeous.
05:53Thank you.
05:54I really want to be closer to you.
05:57Mm-hmm.
05:57Yeah.
06:01Okay, if I touch you.
06:02Mm-hmm.
06:06You feel me shaking?
06:08Yeah.
06:08Yeah, you make me nervous.
06:16I'm going to take your leg and put it around my waist.
06:21Like here, is that okay?
06:23Yeah.
06:33How are you feeling?
06:34Good.
06:35My heart's beating up its arms.
06:37Yeah, I want to.
06:41Thank you so much.
06:42Thank you.
06:49Sorry, this is only phase three.
06:52What the hell?
06:54This is what happens when you make dating sexy.
06:56If you go on a first date with someone,
06:58you don't know how to do this,
07:01then you won't be confident when things will escalate.
07:05So, anyone want to be the escalator with Danielle?
07:09Yeah.
07:09Yeah.
07:11Eager to learn is 30-year-old Will.
07:15I have no dating history.
07:16I legitimately can't remember the last time I shared a kiss.
07:20I'm desperate to change my life,
07:23but still being a virgin is almost impossible.
07:27I definitely use humor to cover sorrow and frustration.
07:30It's a large part of my personality.
07:33I really love it when you're checking me out.
07:36Eye contact is so sexy.
07:38I can't help but look at the most beautiful person in the room.
07:42Oh, okay.
07:43Now I want you to say it.
07:46Yeah?
07:47Like you really, like you're not shy about it.
07:50Like, it's okay.
07:51I'm a little shy about it.
07:52Feel it in your cock.
07:54I'm so glad you said cock, not pears.
07:58Making us unsexy is owning we are here turned on together.
08:04Okay.
08:04So, you running your erotic energy is sexy.
08:08It's difficult to navigate sometimes.
08:10Yeah.
08:11Otherwise, I feel like, oh, you don't find me attractive.
08:13You say it, but I don't feel it.
08:19Yeah.
08:19Following Will's attempt...
08:21Is it okay if I touch your hair like this?
08:24Mm.
08:25..a more confident Bertie gives it a go.
08:28Your hand feels very soft.
08:30Thank you.
08:31Mm.
08:32..others try it out with each other.
08:34This one's on my eyes.
08:35Is it on yours?
08:37No.
08:38I don't see your eyes.
08:41Cute.
08:44And some don't hold back.
08:47Yeah, this is so green.
08:52Would you be comfortable sitting on my lap?
08:55I can try.
08:58I feel so connected to you.
09:00Mm.
09:02Feeling you on me and feeling you touch me feels amazing.
09:04Mm.
09:06Anna, do you like that?
09:07Yeah, it's just awkward to watch.
09:09Yeah.
09:10Could I grab your butt?
09:12Yeah, yeah.
09:13How was that?
09:15Great.
09:20It was fucking hard, man.
09:23How did everyone have the confidence to do it?
09:25I just felt really awkward watching.
09:26Genuinely, guys, it felt, like, really good.
09:35This is the one I was most nervous about, and I know why.
09:38I came out of that workshop feeling a bit like I was a bit of a creep and peeking through
09:43the wings.
09:44I'm not used to seeing, like, intimacy like that live.
09:46As soon as I sat down and looked into your eyes, I was like, OK.
09:49Yeah.
09:50You guys looked really good doing that.
09:51Thank you.
09:52It's, like, an indescribable feeling of, like, relief that I was able to just lose myself in the moment
09:58and not worry about the performance.
10:00So, it's astounding, the progress that I'm making.
10:03However, not everyone is embracing the dating phase.
10:07I just really didn't feel comfortable, especially when they went on top of each other.
10:11I was like...
10:12With the intimacy side of things, I've struggled to come out of my comfort zone.
10:17I'm more, um, reserved and more of an anxious person.
10:25Dating, it's not for me.
10:37I'm going to take this off. I'm hot.
10:39It's hot, hot, hot.
10:42It's the dating phase on Virgin Island.
10:45Went on this first date with this guy, and then he was like,
10:47I'm going to kiss you and then make out with you.
10:50And then he kept biting me.
10:50Did he say make out with you?
10:52Yeah, well, he went like this. He was like...
10:56And past experiences have left a mark on many in the group.
11:00So, before I came out, I went on a date with someone,
11:03and he said, oh, let's go for a walk.
11:05But we were wandering around, like, the same area for ages.
11:09It was getting darker and darker.
11:11Oh, my God.
11:12And he, like, cuddled into me and was like, oh, we might have to stay here all night.
11:15And I was like, I'm not camping here, mate.
11:19And in the end, we managed to, like, ring the police and come and, like, pick us up.
11:23That is a dating disaster.
11:25Yeah.
11:26My dating horror story was my fault.
11:28I brought Lego onto a date.
11:30I'm sort of chatting occasionally, but I'm, like, reading the manual,
11:33arranging the pieces, but it's only like a small...
11:36Beware of the Lego man.
11:40To help them build more successful relationships...
11:43Has something been put up in the notice board? Has anyone read it?
11:46..some are starting the retreat's most advanced therapy,
11:49working with a surrogate partner.
11:51Oh, Cal's ready for his surrogate partner.
11:54Cool.
11:56I don't feel I hug as much as I probably should do.
11:59Callum is opening up to Cat.
12:02My dad, you know, whenever I saw him, I hug him,
12:04so he brings back some memories of that.
12:06To move past his issues around grief.
12:09And we're going to stay here for just a minute.
12:11And I want you to really slow down and feel your feet in the ground.
12:16As far as, like, position, do you enjoy being on top of someone?
12:21Do you like mixing it up?
12:23Meanwhile, Marianne is overcoming her mistrust of men.
12:27I like just being on top because then I can decide if I want to get off or not.
12:30Yeah.
12:31With surrogate partner Andre.
12:34How does that feel?
12:37Very safe.
12:38Thank you very much.
12:40Of course.
12:41Oh, there we go.
12:42Much better.
12:42Yeah.
12:44And Bertie begins the surrogate partner programme.
12:47Does it feel better to touch back?
12:50Yeah.
12:51Trying to relax more with touch.
12:54I feel a bit awkward, but I'm OK here.
12:56Yeah, just think about what's comfortable.
12:58Yeah.
12:58I do feel like I'm making progress.
13:02It's good to have kind of a beginner's session with it.
13:05And it went well.
13:07As the sessions gain momentum, the experts turn their attention to Alex's confident display
13:13in the workshop earlier.
13:15Alex and Marianne, they, how hot was that?
13:18It was so sexy.
13:19I was so proud of them.
13:23He took it to the next level.
13:24Some good butt squeezes in there as well.
13:26It's all in there.
13:27He just has to learn to trust himself.
13:29But there's still one obstacle holding Alex back.
13:32Hello.
13:33Hello.
13:35And Elil has a plan to help with his erection issues.
13:39We had an idea to continue with the pleasure mapping, but have it more about building trajectory
13:46around penetration.
13:49Yeah.
13:50Does that feel...
13:50Yeah, yeah.
13:51Yeah.
13:52But there is that sort of gnawing, niggling feeling at the back of the head at being like,
13:58oh, yeah, I'm nervous that I'll lose it again.
14:02The biggest fear is me not being able to experience sex.
14:06I feel like sex is such an important thing that I can maybe take away the power from it
14:11that it has over me.
14:12I'm really willing to do what it takes and whatever I need to do to change.
14:17So we're going to bring this.
14:20Amazing.
14:21And you can take your clothes off like last time.
14:24Cool, cool, cool.
14:30My hand's going to be a little bit...
14:32That's OK.
14:33...to start with.
14:36So inhale, your belly rise.
14:40Exhale, letting all the muscles of your pelvic floor relax.
14:51Before long...
14:52Good.
14:53...a little feel she can escalate.
14:56How would it feel to take your underwear off, just so I can see what I'm touching?
15:02Yeah, I think that'd be good.
15:03OK.
15:07So, good.
15:11I want you directing me.
15:13Yeah.
15:15So, yeah, onto the penis like that, yeah.
15:19Good.
15:21It's like you can almost just stay at the, at the top bit there.
15:24Come up there.
15:24Amazing.
15:29Do you want to look and see how hard you are?
15:31I wasn't expecting to be that hard.
15:35Look at that.
15:39Do you want to try to put a condom on?
15:42Yeah, sure.
15:44For Alex, keeping an erection whilst putting on a condom is the ultimate challenge.
15:54Amazing.
15:56We can also try to change position.
16:00Mm-hmm.
16:01Because for penetration, you might have to move around a little bit.
16:05Yeah.
16:06Under the vagina.
16:10Amazing.
16:12So, you haven't lost your erection.
16:15So good.
16:18Good.
16:19I want you to just let this experience sink into your long-term memory.
16:24I want you to just let this experience sink into your long-term memory.
16:28Wow.
16:29Yeah.
16:31I feel good.
16:33I feel confident.
16:34I feel glowing.
16:35Thank you so much.
16:37You're so welcome.
16:38Oh, my gosh.
16:39It's massive.
16:41Yeah, really, really massive.
16:46Bye.
16:47Bye.
16:50Alex did so well in the session to learning how to focus on sensations and pleasure rather
16:59than being in the head worried.
17:02And he kept his erection throughout.
17:05I feel like my work with Alex is complete for now, and I feel like he's ready to move
17:11on.
17:12I feel amazing.
17:14I feel all the worries I had before coming here and before with previous partners have
17:18just been lifted.
17:20Hello.
17:21That was my last session with Elil.
17:23I've, like, completed it.
17:24No, you haven't.
17:26Not in...
17:26Completed it, mate.
17:27Yeah, yeah, not in that sort of...
17:28No, that's...
17:28I know.
17:29Yeah.
17:29Seriously.
17:30Yeah, yeah, yeah.
17:30So, what did you do?
17:31Do you want it quite, like, a lot?
17:35Clearly, if you've completed it.
17:39Sun cream.
17:40Do you want some?
17:41Oh, no.
17:42Why?
17:43Not the hair.
17:45It's afternoon on Virgin Island.
17:48What's everyone's type, then?
17:50I like gingers.
17:51I like light hair.
17:53Give me every single celebrity male.
17:55Yum.
17:55I like them all.
17:56You like them all.
17:57How are you still a virgin, bless you?
18:02To help the group gain confidence in dating...
18:06Hello.
18:07Hey.
18:08The experts have a new exercise.
18:11How's everyone doing?
18:14Today's challenge is setting up your own dating app profile.
18:18You're going to be put into pairs,
18:20and you're going to support each other
18:21to write a bio,
18:23to answer some prompts,
18:25and taking photographs.
18:29It's, like, the worst thing
18:31that they could ever ask me to do.
18:33I just hate dating apps.
18:35I just want someone to like me for me
18:37without me having to, like,
18:40sell myself.
18:42You might be surprised
18:43by what comes out of it.
18:45Also, like, these are my strengths.
18:47This is what I'm really good at.
18:48How would that feel?
18:50Yeah.
18:52I'll try.
18:54Ellen, you'll be good.
18:56Don't worry.
18:57You got this.
18:59Writing a dating profile
19:00can help with self-esteem
19:01because putting it out there
19:02is a brave, courageous step
19:04that they need to learn how to do.
19:10How would you want to pose?
19:11I don't know.
19:13Jazz hands.
19:15Let's do it.
19:16The way that they support each other
19:17is really key.
19:18Giving each other feedback
19:19will help them feel much better
19:21about putting themselves out there.
19:22If I was a character in the book,
19:24I'd be described as a ball of energy
19:26with a bit of yogurt on the top.
19:27I love it.
19:28I love it.
19:29It, like, doesn't even make any sense.
19:31It's perfect.
19:31Yeah, it's great, isn't it?
19:33Passion of mine, it's like,
19:35do I say gaming?
19:37That's what I'm thinking.
19:38Do I say gaming?
19:39Do I lie or do I tell the truth?
19:42First date for me looks like...
19:44For me, anything involving food.
19:47Perfect.
19:47You could always say, like, good food.
19:49Good food and great conversation.
19:51You make everything so simple.
19:55While some are comfortable
19:56writing positive things about themselves...
19:58I'm just...
19:59I've still got quite a lot to get through.
20:01Yeah, that's fine, no rush.
20:02Others are not.
20:04I do think some people will struggle.
20:06People have been taught
20:07not to brag, I guess,
20:09and I don't think that'll be
20:10any different in this group.
20:12I've just put, like,
20:13I don't really like to sell myself.
20:16And I've tried, you know,
20:19and trying to, like,
20:20be someone that I'm not.
20:23Though Ellen is reluctant.
20:25I must admit,
20:25I'm kind of really
20:26pleased with how this is going.
20:29Will is all in.
20:30What profile have you gone for?
20:32I put open bracket dot dot dot dot dot
20:34bro, I'm a forever alone virgin dot
20:36what the heck, question mark, close bracket.
20:38Aw.
20:39Thank you.
20:41But his apparent confidence
20:42hides a deeper anxiety.
20:45You get to your early 30s
20:46still being a virgin.
20:47You've got no woman in your life.
20:49It's...
20:50It's lonely.
20:51Really lonely.
20:53And the few times
20:54that I received anything sexual,
20:56I was in college.
20:57But I would, like,
20:58come really quick.
20:59That knocked my confidence a lot.
21:01My fear of, like,
21:02premature ejaculation
21:04has definitely scarred me.
21:09Will came up
21:10for making consent sexy,
21:12but he really struggled with that.
21:14He relies on humor a lot.
21:15Yeah.
21:16Now it's time
21:17to take his desire seriously
21:18and teach him skills.
21:24Hello.
21:24Hello, hello.
21:29So, share with me
21:30everything that's happening inside.
21:32It's like a little bit
21:33of excitement in my tummy.
21:34Mm-hmm.
21:35And a little bit in your eyes.
21:37That might just be my glasses.
21:39No.
21:40No.
21:40So, I think, like,
21:41because you don't know exactly
21:42how to navigate that space,
21:44you use silliness for it.
21:46It's not something
21:46I do deliberately.
21:47Yeah, okay.
21:48But let's check
21:49what silliness does
21:50to the connection.
21:52Danielle wants to teach Will
21:54how to build
21:55a genuine connection.
21:56Would you be happy
21:57if I move too closer
21:58or just me move closer?
22:00So, let yourself
22:00actually check
22:01what do you want to do?
22:03Well, let's ask
22:05for a first date.
22:07We're slowing it down.
22:08I'm sitting on you.
22:09You're letting yourself
22:10feel it in your body.
22:12Yeah.
22:13Because it's about
22:14us connecting.
22:23Do you feel the intensity?
22:24Yeah.
22:26That's where you want to stay.
22:27You don't want to break intensity.
22:31After taking time to connect...
22:33Fuck, you're showing your neck.
22:34Danielle is happy
22:36for Will to escalate.
22:37Ah.
22:44Ah.
22:50How did that feel?
22:52Yeah, good.
22:53By slowing the pace,
22:55Will finally connects
22:56with his emotions.
22:58This is the most intimacy
22:59I've had in
23:00longer than I can remember.
23:02Yeah.
23:03Yeah.
23:04So, there's some sadness
23:06that comes with it.
23:06Great deal, great deal.
23:07Don't get me wrong.
23:08Yeah.
23:09It makes me feel
23:10more connected to you
23:11when I actually...
23:12and see who you are
23:13and not just, like,
23:14the presented self,
23:16you know.
23:18Speaking about
23:19how I feel
23:20really just makes it
23:21more real to me.
23:22I've spent many years
23:24getting rather good
23:25at hiding
23:26how upset I actually feel.
23:32I've not been able to, like,
23:34express myself like that
23:35with someone before.
23:36Feels good.
23:40As Will opens up
23:42about his true feelings...
23:43You used to relax.
23:48Happy now?
23:49Yeah.
23:51Another connection
23:51on the island
23:52begins to spark.
23:54I like the nails.
23:56Do you like the nails?
23:57Mm-hmm.
24:01Hot, hot, hot.
24:02I like the feeling
24:02that I'm hot.
24:03Do my leg if you want.
24:04Your leg.
24:05Yeah.
24:05I've got leg hair.
24:07No, I like it.
24:10I think I could plait this.
24:12You could have just
24:12one long plait.
24:13What?
24:14Have you heard this?
24:15She wants to plait my leg hair.
24:17Oh, yeah.
24:19Do you think anyone's
24:20going to develop any crushes?
24:21Yeah.
24:25Really?
24:26Exactly.
24:28Thanks, Zoe.
24:31Thank you.
24:42Hey, you guys.
24:43Good morning.
24:44Morning.
24:45Bracky.
24:45All right, you coming?
24:46Yeah.
24:47It's the start
24:48of a new day
24:49on Virgin Island.
24:50Good morning.
24:51Good morning, my love.
24:53And the dating phase
24:54is in full swing.
24:55Imagine this
24:56dating app conversation.
24:57Mm-hmm.
24:58So my first line would be,
24:59what's your opinion
25:00on dried fruits?
25:01Dried fruits?
25:02Dried fruits.
25:03Yeah, that's not great.
25:04What about dates?
25:07That's good.
25:07Yeah.
25:08Boom.
25:09It's very bad,
25:10but it's good.
25:11I know I've got, like,
25:12a lot to learn
25:13and a lot to catch up on,
25:14but it's a new day.
25:15One foot in front of the other
25:17and keep going forward.
25:18Because I'm so crap
25:19at making conversation,
25:21I'd feel a bit negative
25:22about the whole dating thing.
25:23This is a really hard phase
25:24for me, dating.
25:26I've tried it in the past
25:27and it just hasn't worked for me.
25:29I've been on a few first dates
25:30and they've never progressed
25:31past that stage,
25:32so I'm doing something wrong, clearly.
25:34I struggle to know how to date
25:37and how to flirt.
25:38I don't allow myself
25:39to want to look at women
25:41that I fancy.
25:42It's something I need
25:43to learn to do, I guess,
25:44if I want to pursue a relationship.
25:46I went on this date
25:47with a guy that took me to KFC.
25:49I think we went on a walk.
25:51We went on like a long night's walk.
25:52That's a dream date for me, that is.
26:00This morning,
26:01the group will learn what it takes...
26:03Here we go.
26:04...to go on a successful date.
26:06Morning, guys.
26:08Hello, welcome.
26:09Welcome.
26:10It's just a completely different
26:12dating culture
26:13that the younger generation
26:14is facing.
26:15Social media,
26:15porn,
26:16also dating apps.
26:18All of these things
26:18can make it hard
26:19to feel confident
26:20and comfortable.
26:21And so we help them learn
26:23how to go out
26:24and get what they want
26:24for themselves
26:25in the dating world.
26:27So we're continuing on
26:29with our dating phase.
26:30And tonight,
26:31drum roll.
26:35You'll have the chance
26:37to practice dating.
26:41Scary.
26:42Just the thought of,
26:44you know,
26:44being alone with a person
26:45that I like
26:46is another level
26:47of, like,
26:48nerve-wracking.
26:49You feel a lot more
26:51pressure
26:52to look a certain way,
26:55be a certain person.
26:57It feels like a competition
26:58and you have completely failed
27:00compared to everyone else.
27:02Today,
27:03we want to give you
27:04some skills
27:05for this first date,
27:06like running your erotic energy
27:08and flirting
27:08while you're having
27:10a regular conversation.
27:11What are the four steps
27:13of a really good first date?
27:15The four steps
27:16are getting to know you,
27:19giving an in-the-moment compliment,
27:21giving and recognizing the look,
27:24and leaning into a kiss.
27:26So we're going to demonstrate.
27:29I'm glad we finally
27:31were able to get together.
27:33Totally.
27:33You know, I was traveling.
27:35Where did you go?
27:35I was hot springing around,
27:38you know.
27:38I really love hot springs.
27:40I love hot springs, too.
27:41Mmm.
27:47Sorry.
27:48I stopped being able
27:50to talk for a minute.
27:51Your eyes were so compelling.
27:53Yeah.
27:59Are you ready?
28:06I hope you see that
28:08you can be connected
28:09to your erotic energy
28:11and talk about
28:12regular things.
28:14With Celeste and Danielle's
28:16dating demo over,
28:17it's time for the group
28:19to put it into practice.
28:20Who wants to go first?
28:28Can I give it a go?
28:30Yeah?
28:30Yeah.
28:31Do you want to go with Will?
28:33Come then, Will.
28:35Will must resist
28:36hiding behind humor.
28:38But with Ellen
28:39scarred by dating,
28:40it won't be easy.
28:44Dating is
28:46really difficult.
28:47You chat to someone
28:49and you've not
28:49said anything bad,
28:51but then all of a sudden
28:53they'll just disappear
28:53off the face of the earth
28:54and I do take it
28:56personally.
28:58I've given up
28:59and I feel
29:00a bit lost.
29:02Yeah.
29:03How are you?
29:04I'm good, yeah.
29:06How are you?
29:06Just a little nervous.
29:09So,
29:11what do you enjoy
29:12doing
29:13in your spare time?
29:15I like writing
29:16and drawing
29:17and painting.
29:18Oh.
29:19Self-portraits?
29:20No,
29:21unfortunately
29:21I'm terrible
29:22at portraits.
29:23You do have
29:23a lot of emotion
29:24in your eyes,
29:25bless you.
29:25Do I?
29:26Yeah,
29:26they really do glisten.
29:28Thanks.
29:30You've got
29:31nice eyes, too.
29:32Thank you.
29:39So I want you to notice
29:40that you both
29:42have the look.
29:44Do we?
29:45I'm still looking for...
29:47This is my face.
29:50Following Will
29:51and Ellen's lead...
29:52You're actually late.
29:54Oh.
29:59Others dive in.
30:00How can I make it up to you?
30:01Maybe I could buy you
30:02a drink or something.
30:03Um,
30:05a sex on the beach.
30:07And what's your favourite drink?
30:13Some lean into compliments.
30:15You're such blue eyes.
30:17Thank you.
30:17You've got really nice earrings.
30:20Others seal the deal
30:22with a kiss.
30:27I think I'd like
30:27to do this again.
30:28Oh, my God,
30:29I got goosebumps.
30:34OK.
30:35Anyone else?
30:37I'd be willing to go
30:38if anyone wants to go.
30:41Joining Callum...
30:42I'll give it a go.
30:44..is Tegan,
30:45who, despite her attraction
30:47to women...
30:48Hi.
30:49Hi.
30:50..has favoured practising
30:51with men on the retreat.
30:53I'm so hung up
30:55on being a virgin.
30:57I struggle to talk
30:58to people who I fancy
30:59in general
31:00because I clam up
31:01and I get nervous.
31:03I forget how to talk
31:03like a human being.
31:04And then they think
31:05I'm not interested.
31:06I want to be
31:07in a relationship.
31:08I want to settle down
31:10with someone.
31:10But I can't
31:12at this point.
31:15So,
31:17what brings you here?
31:18You bring me here.
31:19Yeah.
31:19Can I...
31:20I think you should
31:21hold hands.
31:21Yes, absolutely.
31:23Yes, absolutely.
31:28This is where I get awkward.
31:29You're doing great.
31:30Keep going.
31:36If you can hold his energy.
31:38It's going to be a feat
31:39to not burst into
31:40a bit of giggles.
31:45That was so awkward.
31:47Yeah.
31:48My man just went blank.
31:50Katie, girl.
31:51Yeah, Katie.
31:52Should we talk about...
31:53This side of you, man.
31:55Are you sure
31:56you've never been
31:56on a date before?
31:59But while Katie is flying,
32:01Tegan has crashed
32:02back down to earth.
32:04Hey, Munchkin.
32:05Hey.
32:06You good?
32:07I don't know.
32:09I really struggle
32:10on any sort of
32:12first date.
32:13It's awkward.
32:14I don't want people
32:16paying attention to me.
32:17I just didn't feel
32:18quite ready for that.
32:20I'm here for you, you know.
32:21I know.
32:22Thank you.
32:24Tegan's reluctance
32:25to practice with women
32:26on the retreat
32:28hasn't gone unnoticed.
32:30She's been going up
32:31a lot with the guys.
32:33Yeah.
32:33Tegan's not pushing
32:35outside of that.
32:36It's just a really
32:36common experience
32:37for young queer women
32:38to feel like
32:39they might be
32:40a bad person
32:41for looking at a woman.
32:43This internalized homophobia,
32:45I'm afraid of being
32:45a predator,
32:46all that kind of stuff.
32:47So we need to
32:48challenge that.
32:49If I fancy someone,
32:50I don't do anything
32:52about it.
32:53Part of me feels like
32:54looking at women
32:55is fundamentally wrong.
32:57When I was in school,
32:58any time we got changed
32:59after pee,
33:00I would go into the showers
33:01and lock myself in there.
33:02That's because I was
33:04obviously dealing
33:05with a lot of feelings
33:06regarding women.
33:08I didn't want to make
33:09them feel uncomfortable.
33:10Hello.
33:11Hello.
33:11I've personally got
33:13some shame around it.
33:18Surrogate partner
33:19therapist Riston
33:20aims to help Tegan
33:22accept and embrace
33:23her physical desires.
33:25So today we're going to do
33:26something called
33:28directed gazing.
33:30So you're going to ogle me.
33:31OK.
33:33OK.
33:34How do you feel?
33:35Nervous.
33:36Yeah, I'm very nervous
33:37about that.
33:38It's important for you
33:39to get used to female gaze.
33:42Yeah.
33:43Let's stand up.
33:46So I just want you
33:46to start looking in my eyes.
33:48Just breathe
33:49and see what comes up
33:50in your body,
33:52in your feelings.
33:54Look at my mouth.
34:01Yeah, I'm trying.
34:02It's like my head's
34:03telling me like,
34:04no, red light,
34:05like, look away.
34:06Want to give it a shot again?
34:08Yeah, let's give it a shot.
34:12And breathe out.
34:17What are you feeling right now?
34:19I'm feeling some things.
34:21Are you feeling desire?
34:23Yes.
34:23I can feel it.
34:24Yeah.
34:24I'm going to turn around
34:25and show you my butt.
34:25OK.
34:33What's that?
34:34It was good.
34:35It was...
34:36Yeah, I felt the desire.
34:38Tegan is progressing rapidly,
34:40so Rizden escalates.
34:44I think you're hot.
34:45Thank you.
34:46I think you're hot.
34:50I want you to look at my breasts.
34:55Breathe.
34:56Let it out the mouth.
34:57You're doing so good.
34:57Let it out the mouth.
34:59Everything you're feeling
35:00is perfect.
35:02And when you're ready,
35:04look at my pussy.
35:04Mm-hmm.
35:08You're doing really good.
35:09Thank you.
35:11You ready to look at my ass?
35:12Mm-hmm.
35:13I got this.
35:15You got it.
35:15Yep.
35:17I'm definitely a lesbian.
35:21Sorry.
35:25I'll see you soon.
35:26Yes.
35:27Yeah.
35:27Thank you.
35:27Bye.
35:27I feel like such a teenager.
35:30Like a horny teenager right now.
35:32It was very erotic.
35:33I'm coming to accept that that's OK.
35:35That's good.
35:36Hey, Steve.
35:37Yum, yum, yum.
35:38Look who's happy.
35:40I'm very happy.
35:41What did you get up to?
35:42I had my boobs out.
35:45We looked at each other.
35:46I looked at our breasts.
35:48Very nice breasts, by the way.
35:50And, yeah, I think that's the best of how I felt.
35:53Aw.
35:54I'm not losing the smell for the rest of the day.
35:58It's late afternoon on Virgin Island.
36:01A lot comes with a date.
36:03It's not just, hi, how are you?
36:05There's a lot to it.
36:07With the practice dates coming up, romance is in the air.
36:10I don't ask people out.
36:12I've never been asked out.
36:13You should ask people out.
36:15No, because I'm actually scared of rejection, thanks.
36:19Ask me out right now.
36:21No, because I know the answer already.
36:23Well, if you don't ask, you never know.
36:27Well, you got a date with me?
36:29Yes.
36:29Oh.
36:33Where should we go?
36:35You'd have to take a boat to get to where we want to go.
36:37It's kind of like a campsite.
36:39Oh.
36:40Yeah.
36:40There's a bed on the shore.
36:42Sounds quite yummy.
36:57Wait, nice photo you, Bertie.
36:59That's such a good photo, Bertie.
37:00It's day two of the dating phase.
37:03Some answers are more lighthearted than others.
37:05I'm a kind and caring person who loves enjoying the comfort of us.
37:14I love music, pink and men.
37:19Who's that one?
37:20That's Katie.
37:21Oh, right, okay.
37:21My turn on is men who smell good, nice hands and slow tickles.
37:25The relationship skill I get an A plus in is puddles.
37:29You're all very good.
37:30I would swipe right on all of you.
37:33But for one person, the exercise has touched a raw nerve.
37:37I feel like even when I've put what I thought were my best photos or whatever, or I've written
37:48a thing about me, it's not worked and I'm just done with them.
37:55Dating makes her really nervous.
37:57She doesn't like the apps.
37:58She's very uncertain on what to do.
38:00Yeah.
38:01Ellen was very stressed that, like, this is the worst thing you could ask me to do.
38:07When I have gone on dates and things, it's been really hard because I'm scared of being
38:18intimate with someone.
38:21I find trusting people quite hard.
38:23So when we've got to the intimacy side of things, I've sort of pulled back a lot.
38:33Surrogate partner therapist Kat hopes to nurture a connection with Ellen.
38:37Hello.
38:39How are you doing?
38:40I'm OK.
38:41But first, she must feel safe enough to lower her defences.
38:45My suggestion today is to do a game called May I Will You?
38:48So, like, may I rub your feet?
38:51Will you rub my feet?
38:53And everything is always for the asker.
38:56Does that feel OK?
38:57Yeah.
38:58The exercise should build trust between Ellen and Kat.
39:02May I kiss your neck?
39:06Yeah.
39:17I just feel, like, a bit anxious.
39:19Yeah.
39:24I just feel I'm dating hard.
39:26Like, and I just, yeah, I just don't feel like I'm, like, good enough.
39:33I mean, you're definitely good enough, and you definitely deserve love, and are worthy of love and pleasure.
39:40OK.
39:41Yeah?
39:41Yeah.
39:42After a false start, they begin again.
39:47May I nuzzle your whole body over your clothes?
39:54Um, yeah.
39:56OK.
40:03And is it OK if breaths are included?
40:06Yeah.
40:07I really, that's something that is one of my turn-offs.
40:14Hmm.
40:19Does that feel OK?
40:21Yeah.
40:22You have magic powers.
40:24I feel safe.
40:30I really liked it when your chest was, like, on, on me.
40:34Like, yeah, I was kind of, like, a bit turned on.
40:38Well, a lot turned on.
40:40Can I touch your chest?
40:43OK.
40:47Is that OK?
40:48Like, are we doing that?
40:51The exercise is helping Ellen embrace desire for the first time.
40:56I also want to kiss you, but I think it's a bit too much to stop with.
41:00You think it's too much for you, for me?
41:03Like, for you?
41:05It feels OK for me.
41:09I'm just relaxed.
41:23Thank you.
41:24Yes.
41:25See you soon.
41:25Thank you very much.
41:26Bye.
41:29I was kind of, like, getting a bit, like, aroused.
41:34And I've not had that excitement before.
41:36But that's what I want.
41:39Vaginas and boobs.
41:45Hi.
41:46How was your one-on-one?
41:48It was dreamy.
41:49It was, like, so nice.
41:51And, yeah, I had to go and check that my knickers were still OK.
41:57Yeah.
41:58I feel on top of the world right now.
42:00Yay.
42:01On top of Virgin Island.
42:02Yay.
42:09It's early evening, and before the dating phase of the course concludes, the group must face their fears head-on.
42:18Hello.
42:19How are you doing?
42:20I'm good.
42:21I'm glad it's you.
42:22Oh, I'm glad it's you.
42:23With practice dates.
42:25You're not going to grab the seat?
42:27Oh, sorry.
42:27Yeah.
42:27Hang on.
42:28Hang on.
42:29Oh, oh.
42:30I've fallen for you already.
42:33Please, take a seat.
42:34Thank you.
42:35Wow, that looks so nice.
42:37Should we crack the bubbly?
42:38I would love that.
42:40Cheers.
42:41Cheers.
42:43So, how did you, um...
42:45I love it when you can look in my eyes while we're doing it.
42:48I can't help it.
42:49They're addictive.
42:50Yours are too.
42:56Thank you.
42:57No problem.
43:00The phase has given Alex a newly found confidence.
43:04You got a bit of fluff?
43:06Oh, there we go.
43:07Make a wish.
43:10There you go.
43:12He's going to have an olive.
43:14And taught Tegan how to be more comfortable in her skin.
43:18Have you heard the olive theory?
43:19The perfect couple.
43:22One person loves olives.
43:24The other hates them.
43:25Oh!
43:26I hate olives.
43:27You know what that means, do you?
43:29We're a perfect match.
43:31Stop it, Tegan.
43:34Even Ellen's more relaxed than ever.
43:37How would you feel if I...
43:39You want to feed me, don't you?
43:40Yeah, I went to feed you a strawberry.
43:42Yeah?
43:46Beautiful!
43:46You did it!
43:50But for Callum and Katie...
43:52I'm so nervous still.
43:54Why?
43:54It's not good.
43:55Why?
43:55I think it's because it's you.
43:57Why are you nervous around me?
43:58I don't know.
44:00The date appears to have moved beyond practice.
44:04Um...
44:05Wow.
44:09Oh, my God, what do I do?
44:11You have to stare into my eyes.
44:16Without giggling.
44:18Callum, you make me giddy.
44:20Compose.
44:21Compose.
44:23I'm very zen right now.
44:25Mm-hmm.
44:28I've got a bug on you.
44:30Leave.
44:36That feels nice.
44:38I'm a good masseuse.
44:39I wouldn't call it that.
44:42Like...
44:42No, that's even more.
44:44I'm trying my best.
44:46I had a really good time.
44:48I think she enjoyed it as well.
44:49Because we are both very giggly.
44:52I was really nervous
44:52because I've never been on a date before.
44:55So, this was my first one.
44:57But Callum was a good person
44:58to go on a date with.
44:59I feel like the past few days,
45:00like, it's all just adding up
45:01and I've come out, like,
45:02with a new light.
45:03I feel like I've just been really happy.
45:06I would definitely go on a date
45:07with Callum again.
45:11As the sun goes down
45:12on the dating phase...
45:14Prosecco?
45:15Oh, yes, please.
45:16OK.
45:16It's time to celebrate.
45:18Let's raise a glass.
45:20This is the end of the dating phase
45:23and I want you to take a look at yourselves
45:26because you've done so well
45:29and we are so proud of you.
45:32All right, chin-chin.
45:34All in all, I had a really good time.
45:35We learned some really good techniques
45:36and I feel confident.
45:38Phase three.
45:39Yay!
45:41There's so many little tricks
45:43and skills I've picked up
45:44that I definitely think
45:45I've seen progression.
45:45Cheers.
45:46I feel a bit more confident
45:48about dating.
45:50However, I'm a bit nervous
45:51about what's to come.
45:53If you thought
45:54the first three phases were hot...
45:59Just wait
46:01to see what's coming next.
46:03Woo!
46:06Next time...
46:07Young live ones.
46:08Woo!
46:09The most revealing phase yet.
46:12I love real bodies.
46:14And the one-on-ones...
46:16How does that feel sad?
46:19Challenge the virgins
46:20to go even further.
46:22Put the finger
46:23on the bottom of the hole.
46:24Mm-hmm.
46:25It's hot.
46:26Mm-hmm.
46:27Mm-hmm.
46:27mm-hmm.
46:55Gracias por ver el video.
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