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Chasing The Girl He Hid Fu 37 Ep Sm
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00:00The summer I turned 18, Asher made me cross a line I could never take back.
00:04I bit my lip through the ache, glowing secretly all night,
00:07convinced that six long years of loving him from a distance had finally, finally paid off.
00:12Then the next morning, I heard his friend laughing outside the classroom door.
00:16Okay, okay, got the nerd to give it up, huh?
00:19My face burned, and I turned to slip away before anyone saw me.
00:23I'm trying to get with Chloe, but she'd think I was too inexperienced.
00:26So I'll use Stella to get some practice in first.
00:29I didn't say a single word.
00:30I just quietly changed my college application from NYU to a school thousand miles away in California.
00:36His words hit me like a thunderclap out of a cloudless summer sky.
00:40No warning at all.
00:41My mind went completely blank.
00:43It was a scorching July afternoon, but I felt like ice was spreading through every inch of my body.
00:48The guys inside kept talking, pausing only for a half second before someone else piped up.
00:54Classic Ashen, even Stella was just a warm-up for him.
00:57Everyone knows how hard it is to get into her pants.
01:03So what does that make her, like a practice dully?
01:07Asher just laughed it off.
01:10Relax.
01:11She got something out of it, too.
01:13I mean, Stella's cute and all, but compared to Chloe, yeah, no contest.
01:16Right.
01:17Asher threw a textbook at him to shut him up.
01:21It was just a vibe, okay?
01:22The moment happened, and honestly, she seemed like she was enjoying herself.
01:26The guys all exchanged knowing looks and started roasting him.
01:30Who knew the Bookberg was that freaky under all those cardigans?
01:33Bro, Asher's just built different.
01:36Why leave free food on the table, right?
01:38She's been chasing him for years.
01:40Technically, she got what she wanted.
01:42The laughter inside the room got noticeably louder.
01:44I pressed my teeth into my lower lips so hard I tasted copper.
01:48Both hands balled into white-knuckled fists.
01:50It took every single ounce of willpower I had to stay upright,
01:54to not just crumple right there in the doorway.
01:56Footsteps echoed down the hall toward me.
01:58I snapped back to reality and bolted,
02:00shoving my way blindly through the corridor.
02:03In my panic, I threw myself into the nearest bathroom stall
02:06and locked the door behind me.
02:11The tears came like a dam breaking,
02:14grief and humiliation pouring out all at once.
02:16Asher's words played on a loop inside my head.
02:19Every single syllable.
02:21They shredded what little self-worth I had left.
02:23If I hadn't heard it with my own ears,
02:25I never could have believed that the guy talking in there
02:28was the same one who had held me
02:30like I was something precious just last night.
02:32Turns out, you don't actually need to love someone to do that with them.
02:35Turns out, you can look a girl dead in the eyes,
02:38make her feel everything,
02:39and still be lying through every single second of it.
02:42The thing I thought was my happily ever after
02:45was just a punchline someone else got to laugh at.
02:47The more I cried, the worse it got.
02:50But I couldn't make a sound.
02:51My whole body was shaken so hard I could barely breathe.
02:55A long time passed.
02:56My phone buzzed.
02:57It was Asher.
02:58Just grab an Uber back.
03:00My crew's got a party tonight,
03:01and it'd be awkward to bring you.
03:03I did not fly.
03:04He sent a follow-up.
03:05Also, pick up a morning after pill yourself.
03:07I'm busy today.
03:08Don't forget to take it.
03:10Good girl.
03:10I stared at those two texts
03:12for a very, very long time without moving.
03:15From dusk until nearly sunrise,
03:17Asher had been relentless,
03:18like he had a point to sleep.
03:20By the end, we were both completely wrecked.
03:22And right before he drifted off
03:23with his arms wrapping,
03:25he murmured the same thing twice.
03:27We weren't really prepared for the first time.
03:32I tried the pill first time for a morning.
03:34He'd even given me this little lecture
03:36about how girls needed to take care of themselves.
03:39Said the morning after pill was really important,
03:41and that skipping it could mess up my body.
03:44And I had actually thought,
03:45this is it.
03:46He's the one.
03:47He's being so responsible.
03:48I finally got my person.
03:51And now, the clarity hit me like a slap.
03:53I dug my nails into my own palm
03:55until the pain forced the tears to stop.
03:58I wiped my face,
03:59straightened my glasses,
04:00and walked out of that bathroom
04:02like nothing had happened.
04:03I was too embarrassed to go to a real pharmacy,
04:06so I ordered the pill online instead.
04:08When the delivery guy left the package at my door,
04:11I waited another long stretch
04:12while I couldn't break myself to go get it.
04:15I swallowed it with a mouthful of my own tears.
04:17and then I just sat down on the floor,
04:19staring at nothing,
04:21completely empty.
04:24Ever since Asher's family had moved next door to mine,
04:28I trailed after Willing's shadow.
04:30That had been 10 years of my life.
04:32I had genuinely never stopped to think about
04:34what a world without him would even look like.
04:36I couldn't picture it,
04:38but starting right now,
04:39I was going to have to figure it out alone.
04:41Outside the floor-to-ceiling window,
04:43the neighborhood lights blinked on,
04:45one by one,
04:46and then off again.
04:47At some point,
04:48I really didn't know how long I'd been sitting there.
04:50Mia called me on FaceTime.
04:56Stella,
04:57why didn't you come to the party tonight with Ashler?
04:59That girl Chloe from the AP track is here, by the way.
05:01She has been all over him since you didn't show.
05:04It's actually disgusting.
05:05In the dark corner of the VIP booth,
05:07Asher and Chloe were sitting so close together,
05:10their thighs were touching.
05:11Chloe had worn a crop top
05:12and a curve-hugging mini-skirt.
05:14Long, tan legs,
05:16tiny waist.
05:16Even the way they were talking
05:18looked more like whispering secrets
05:20than having a conversation.
05:21I could feel the charged energy
05:23between them through the screen.
05:25Something in my chest locked up.
05:27He'd only said he wanted to chase her this afternoon,
05:29and apparently,
05:30tonight was all the time he needed.
05:32The game switched to truth or dare,
05:34and Chloe drew a card that said,
05:38Do a push-up challenge
05:40with a guy hovering over me.
05:43Predictably,
05:44Asher had been cleared
05:45before anyone else could open their mouth.
05:47Chloe blushed bright pink
05:49and lay back against the couch cushions.
05:51Asher planted his hands on either side of her.
05:53He was controlled the whole time,
05:56deliberately keeping his body
05:57from making contact with hers,
05:59until the very last one.
06:01His arms gave out,
06:02and his entire weight came down
06:03directly on top of her.
06:05The room erupted.
06:07Everyone screaming so loud,
06:08the walls practically shook.
06:10Asher's and Chloe's faces
06:11went even redder.
06:12With the whole crowd
06:13going absolutely feral around them,
06:16Asher just tilted his head down
06:17and kissed her.
06:18Not a quick peck,
06:19a full, deep,
06:20for the whole room to see kiss.
06:22Three full minutes
06:23before they finally pulled apart.
06:25For all three of those minutes,
06:26I sat completely frozen,
06:28eyes locked on the screen,
06:30barely remembering to breathe.
06:31I wanted to cry so badly.
06:34Oh my god, Stella,
06:36did you see that?
06:37He literally kissed her
06:39in front of everyone.
06:40he is so into her.
06:42Mia shook her head
06:43and stepped out of the booth,
06:44turning the camera as she went.
06:46Don't be mad at me.
06:47If I hadn't shown you,
06:48you never would have
06:49let yourself move on.
06:50I'm not mad at you.
06:52I'm only mad at myself
06:53for wasting so many years.
06:56I had always assumed
06:57that the spot beside Asher
06:58was mine,
06:59that it would always be mine.
07:00I am so done with him, Stella.
07:02Who does he think he is,
07:03watching you love him for years,
07:04acting all innocent
07:05like he had no idea,
07:06just letting you fall
07:07deeper and deeper?
07:08You saw what I showed you.
07:10I'm not giving myself the chance.
07:12Mia, I've already decided
07:14I'm going to California with you,
07:15but you have to promise me
07:17you'll keep it quiet for now.
07:18Right after I said it,
07:20I flipped open my laptop
07:21right in front of her.
07:22Without a single second
07:23of hesitation,
07:24I changed my first choice school
07:26to the one in California,
07:27one minute before the deadline.
07:29Mia basically levitated
07:31off the ground.
07:32She'd been begging me
07:33for months to apply
07:34to the same school as her.
07:35But back when we started
07:36high school,
07:37Asher and I had made this pact.
07:39We'd work hard together
07:40and go to his dream school
07:42up in Boston after graduation.
07:44It had his aerospace
07:44engineering program,
07:46the one he'd been obsessed with
07:47since we were kids.
07:48So even though I didn't
07:49particularly love the idea
07:51of brutal winters,
07:52and even though that school
07:53was a technical institute
07:54that didn't even have my major,
07:56I'd spent three years
07:57treating it like my only option.
07:59Our families had lived next door
08:01to each other for so long
08:02that both sets of parents
08:03thought it was basically
08:04a done deal we'd end up
08:06at the same school.
08:07Everyone, including me,
08:08assumed Asher and I
08:09would just naturally
08:10become official
08:11once we got to college.
08:13But right now,
08:13I couldn't think of a single
08:15reason to still go to Boston.
08:16Because honestly,
08:17after today,
08:18if I kept following Asher
08:20around the way I always had,
08:21I would never be able
08:23to look myself in the mirror again.
08:24I just needed to go
08:25somewhere far away.
08:27It didn't even matter where,
08:28as long as he wasn't there.
08:30He was going east,
08:31so I was going west.
08:32Before bed,
08:33I filled the entire bathtub.
08:35I needed to scrub
08:36every inch of myself clean.
08:38But when I took off my clothes,
08:40the bruises on my skin
08:41were still so vivid,
08:43it made me flinch.
08:44The memories from last night
08:46rushed back
08:46before I could stop them.
08:48The burning heat of his skin
08:49pressed against mine.
08:51The sound of his breath
08:52ragged and warm
08:53against my ear.
08:54The ghost of it all
08:55still seemed to linger
08:56in the air around me.
08:58I shook my head hard,
08:59physically trying to shake
09:00myself free of it.
09:01Then,
09:02I grabbed the roughest loofah
09:03I owned
09:04and scrubbed myself raw
09:05over and over
09:07until my whole body
09:08was flushed pink
09:09and singing.
09:10I was trying,
09:12clumsily,
09:12desperately,
09:13to erase
09:14what was officially
09:15the worst night
09:16of my entire life.
09:18The result
09:18was that the pain
09:19kept me awake
09:20the whole night anyway.
09:21Asher didn't text.
09:22For the first time
09:23in six years,
09:25ever since we both
09:25got phones,
09:26we didn't say goodnight
09:27to each other.
09:28That was fine.
09:29It was going to happen
09:30eventually anyway.
09:31Tonight was as good
09:32a time as any
09:33to start letting go.
09:34I didn't fall asleep
09:35until just before sunrise,
09:37drifting in and out
09:38of exhaustion.
09:39Early the next morning,
09:40while I was still
09:41buried in sleep,
09:42I felt,
09:43in that foggy space
09:44between dream
09:45and awake,
09:46the soft press of lips
09:47against my forehead.
09:48I jolted awake.
09:49The first thing
09:50my eyes landed on
09:51was a jaw I knew too well
09:53and the soft dip
09:54of a throat
09:55right above me.
09:56The scent hit me next.
09:57Cedarwood.
09:58That cologne
09:58he always wore.
10:00And underneath it,
10:00the faintest trace
10:02of something new.
10:03Something citrusy
10:04that wasn't his.
10:05Right.
10:06I'd completely forgotten
10:07that Asher still knew
10:08my front door code.
10:09Seeing me awake,
10:10he shifted lower
10:11and tilted his face
10:12down toward my lips.
10:13I shoved him back
10:14with both hands
10:15and scrambled
10:16to the far edge
10:16of the bed.
10:17He blinked,
10:18then let out
10:18a short laugh
10:19like I'd surprised him.
10:23Since when are you shy?
10:24I didn't answer.
10:25I just yanked
10:26the blanket over my head
10:27and disappeared under it.
10:28Asher started talking.
10:32Stella, seriously.
10:34You didn't say goodnight,
10:35you turned your phone off
10:36and now you're hiding
10:36under a blanket?
10:38Still avoiding me?
10:39Then he just
10:40lifted the blanket
10:41and slid himself right in.
10:45Hey, how many times
10:46have I told you
10:47you can't skip breakfast?
10:49I ran half a mile
10:50to get you
10:51those croissants
10:52from your favorite place
10:52and stood in line forever.
10:54Wanna get up
10:55and eat now
10:56or
10:58get eaten?
11:00Reality crashed back in
11:02and I fought
11:03like my life
11:03depended on it.
11:04But I'm 5'2
11:05in sneakers
11:06and Asher is literally
11:076'2 of solid muscle.
11:09I honestly could not
11:10figure out
11:11what game he was playing.
11:12He had Chloe now,
11:13so what was he even
11:14doing in my bed?
11:15I tried to push him away
11:16only to be held
11:17even tighter.
11:18Let go of me!
11:20After what felt like
11:21forever of thrashing around,
11:23I was panting
11:24and had accomplished
11:25nothing except
11:25being held even tighter.
11:27What's the tantrum about?
11:30You're mad because
11:31I didn't bring you
11:31to the party last night
11:32over something
11:33that small?
11:34I said nothing.
11:35He buried his face
11:36in the curve of my neck
11:37and actually laughed.
11:39Let me guess.
11:40Mia told you something?
11:42It was a party game, Stella.
11:43Is it really worth
11:44getting jealous over?
11:46You're doing that thing
11:47you always do.
11:48I get slightly close
11:49to another girl
11:50and you go all silent
11:51and sulky.
11:53I was so furious
11:54I couldn't even
11:55form a sentence.
11:56I dredged up something
11:57from a self-defense unit
11:58in gym class,
11:59snapped my knee up
12:00hard between us,
12:01and the second he doubled over,
12:02I launched myself
12:03out of that bed.
12:04Stella.
12:05Asher's jaw went tight,
12:07his whole face going red.
12:08I grabbed a hoodie
12:09off the floor
12:10and yanked it on
12:10over my pajamas.
12:12I did not want
12:13to be in any room
12:14with him
12:15and especially
12:16not my bedroom.
12:26Hey,
12:27you took that pill
12:28yesterday, right?
12:29Because I really don't need
12:30that kind of drama
12:31and I definitely
12:31don't want to have
12:32that conversation
12:33with your parents.
12:34I don't want to have that
12:41come on,
12:42be reasonable.
12:43Eat something
12:43before you pick a fight.
12:48You know
12:48your stomach's sensitive.
12:58What is actually going on?
13:00Stella,
13:01even a tantrum
13:01needs a reason.
13:02There have to be
13:03some limits here.
13:04I kept my voice
13:06ice cold
13:06and set it flat.
13:07I don't deserve
13:08to have any say.
13:10Asher snapped.
13:11He slammed the cup
13:12down on the coffee table
13:13so hard it cracked.
13:15The plastic split
13:16and the smoothie
13:17spilled out in a wave,
13:18soaking into the rug.
13:19What is that supposed
13:20to mean?
13:22Who do you think
13:23you are, Stella?
13:25Who do you think
13:26you are?
13:29We slept together once,
13:30it was consensual,
13:32and now you think
13:33you own me?
13:34Do you know
13:35how suffocating
13:36that is?
13:37His voice had
13:38a viciousness to it
13:39I had never heard before.
13:40The second he finished
13:42speaking,
13:42my eyes flooded.
13:43No warning,
13:44no buildup,
13:45just instant tears.
13:47Yesterday's humiliation
13:48came crashing back,
13:49hitting me all over again
13:51like a fresh wound.
13:52Asher clearly
13:53hadn't expected me
13:54to cry this hard
13:55this fast.
13:55He looked genuinely thrown,
13:57scrambling for what to do.
13:58He crouched down
13:59and said he was sorry.
14:01I'm sorry.
14:02I drank too much last night
14:04and I was out of line
14:04just now.
14:05He reached out
14:06to wipe my face,
14:07but I twisted away,
14:08putting distance between us.
14:09His hand froze in midair,
14:11hovering there.
14:12He opened his mouth
14:12to keep trying,
14:13but his phone buzzed.
14:15He glanced at the screen once,
14:16and his entire expression
14:18shifted,
14:18and he stood up
14:19and moved toward the door.
14:20I've got something urgent.
14:22Take a minute to calm down.
14:23We're going to college soon.
14:25You can't keep throwing fits
14:27like a little kid
14:28who's going to put up with that.
14:35He hadn't been gone 30 minutes
14:37when Mia sent me a screenshot.
14:39Chloe's Instagram story
14:40just said,
14:41I'm hungry,
14:42and breakfast appeared like magic.
14:44Pretty sure this is mutual now,
14:45with a little heart.
14:46The photo was of the exact same croissants
14:49that were sitting on my kitchen counter.
14:51I didn't respond.
14:52I just quietly wiped my eyes,
14:54got on my hands and knees,
14:56and started cleaning up the smoothie
14:57Asher had spilled.
14:58I scrubbed for a long time
15:00before I accepted,
15:01with a hollow feeling in my chest,
15:03that the stain had soaked
15:04all the way through the wool rug
15:06and wasn't coming out.
15:07So, I just threw the whole rug in the trash.
15:09It didn't matter anyway.
15:11That rug was something
15:12Asher and his parents
15:13had spent an entire afternoon
15:14picking out on a family trip,
15:16and he'd lugged it home
15:17in his carry-on himself.
15:19Then, I went through everything else.
15:21Every single thing
15:22Asher had ever left at my place.
15:24Every gift he'd given me over the years.
15:26Every photo of the two of us.
15:28Every small souvenir and keepsake.
15:30It took the rest of the day,
15:31but I packed every last bit of it up
15:33and threw it all out.
15:38I doubted he'd want any of it back anyway.
15:40After he left that day,
15:41the silence stretched.
15:43Days went by,
15:44and he didn't reach out at all.
15:45Things with Chloe were probably going great.
15:47Or maybe he was waiting for me
15:49to be the one who caved first.
15:50In every fight we'd ever had,
15:52I was always the one who broke first.
15:54Every single time.
15:56No exceptions.
15:57But this time,
15:57I didn't go looking for him.
15:59And I didn't have any reason to.
16:00I blocked him on everything.
16:02Text all social media,
16:04changed my front door code,
16:05and deleted every account
16:06he might use to find me.
16:08After that,
16:09I called my parents,
16:10who were both traveling for work.
16:11I told them I wanted to spend the summer
16:13visiting my aunt
16:14on the other side of the country.
16:15My plan was to stay there
16:17until school started,
16:18then head straight to California with Mia
16:20instead of coming home.
16:21Other than Mia,
16:22no one else knew yet
16:23that I'd changed my application.
16:25This plan should work perfectly.
16:27There was basically zero chance
16:29I'd run into Asher
16:30if I pulled this off right.
16:31My mom actually laughed over the phone.
16:35Oh, so you and Asher
16:37are taking a vacation together?
16:38I made up a quick excuse
16:40and didn't go into detail.
16:41I just told her
16:42I wanted to visit my aunt and grandma.
16:44I begged my dad
16:45to book me the first available flight,
16:47and I was ready to leave
16:48that same night.
16:49Of course,
16:50because the universe has no chill,
16:52I ran into Asher's mom
16:53right at our front door
16:54on my way out.
16:56She grabbed my arm warmly
16:57and started chattering.
16:59Stella, honey,
17:00where's Asher?
17:01He's not coming to pick you up?
17:02Didn't he say
17:03he was taking you
17:04on that ski trip?
17:06Go have fun.
17:08I am 100% behind you two.
17:11I was confused.
17:12I had mentioned once
17:14during senior year
17:15that I'd always wanted
17:16to try skiing in Colorado,
17:18just offhand.
17:19But given everything
17:20that had happened between us,
17:21the idea of going on a trip together
17:23seemed completely impossible.
17:25I was running out of time, though,
17:27so I said something vague
17:28and noncommittal
17:29and slipped away.
17:30What I never expected
17:31was that at the airport,
17:33I would come face-to-face
17:34with Asher.
17:37He was with a group of friends.
17:39Chloe was there, too.
17:40Asher had her designer bag
17:41in one hand
17:42and his other arm
17:43slung around her shoulder.
17:44They were trailing
17:45at the back of the group.
17:46Every so often,
17:47Chloe would lean her head
17:48toward him to say something.
17:50And every single time,
17:51without any hesitation,
17:53he would bend down to listen.
17:54He never did that with me.
17:56Asher had always been
17:57taller than me,
17:58and the gap had only gotten bigger
18:00over the years.
18:01When it was the two of us,
18:02I was always the one
18:03bouncing on my toes,
18:04craning my neck up
18:05just to catch his eyes.
18:07Turns out,
18:07for the right person,
18:09he would be the one who bends.
18:11I breathed in slowly.
18:12I told myself
18:13I needed to have
18:14some dignity about this.
18:15Whatever he did
18:16was none of my business.
18:18If I let myself overthink it,
18:19I deserved to be slapped.
18:21But there seemed to be
18:22only one path to the gate.
18:23All I could do
18:24was stay far enough behind
18:26that he wouldn't notice me.
18:27By some miracle,
18:28we eventually reached a fork
18:30in the terminal
18:30where the path split.
18:32Asher seemed to get
18:32distracted around then.
18:34He made a bunch of calls,
18:35none of which seemed to go through,
18:37and then spent a long time
18:38staring at his phone.
18:39Eventually,
18:40he borrowed someone else's phone,
18:42his face dark and unreadable,
18:43and disappeared
18:44into a nearby bathroom.
18:46A moment later,
18:46my phone rang.
18:48Unknown number.
18:50So you've got a real attitude
18:51on you this time.
18:52You're just not going
18:53to come to me first?
18:55You actually blocked me?
18:58Fine.
18:59Keep it up.
18:59See how great you do
19:00when we're both in Boston
19:01and you don't know anyone
19:02and there's no one
19:03to look out for you.
19:04Asher came out swinging,
19:05rattling off complaints
19:06in one long,
19:07irritated breath.
19:09I had absolutely nothing
19:10to say to any of that,
19:11but Asher seemed to get
19:13angrier at my silence.
19:15I'm done talking about this.
19:16Just unblock me.
19:18I'm heading out of the country
19:19for a couple days
19:20with some friends.
19:21Probably won't have
19:22great reception.
19:25don't get all weepy
19:26about it.
19:27I couldn't even be bothered
19:28to say a single word back.
19:29I hung up
19:30and turned my phone off.
19:31From across the terminal,
19:33I watched Asher
19:34stalk back to his group,
19:35his expression stormy.
19:37He grabbed Chloe's hand,
19:38didn't hesitate for a second,
19:40and walked toward
19:41the left gate.
19:41I let out a long breath,
19:43turned around,
19:44and headed right.
19:46With my family,
19:48I performed happiness.
19:49And honestly,
19:49I got pretty good at it.
19:51I deliberately kept myself
19:52slammed with plans,
19:54filling every gap in the day
19:55so I had no room to spiral.
19:57I definitely didn't add Asher back
19:59the way he'd demanded.
20:01But Mia and some others
20:02kept me updated
20:03on his life anyway.
20:04Asher and his friends
20:05had apparently been
20:06screaming Colorado for days.
20:08For some reason,
20:09he was suddenly posting
20:10on social media
20:11every single day,
20:12which was completely
20:13unlike the version of him
20:14who used to go months
20:15without posting anything.
20:17Sometimes it was
20:18slow motion clips of him
20:19carving down the slopes.
20:20Sometimes it was food
20:21and late night parties.
20:23But mostly,
20:23it was big group shots
20:24of everyone clowning
20:26around in the snow.
20:27Even though I genuinely
20:28didn't want to see it,
20:29somehow people kept
20:30sending it to me unprompted.
20:32Everyone was very
20:33casually curious
20:34about why I hadn't
20:35gone with Asher.
20:36I didn't know what to say,
20:37so I just told people
20:38I had family stuff going on.
20:40Mia was the only one
20:41who openly called him
20:42a trash human.
20:43Everyone else around me
20:44seemed to be constantly
20:45stopping themselves
20:46from saying something.
20:48I knew,
20:48they'd probably figured out
20:49something was wrong.
20:52In every single group photo
20:53Asher posted,
20:54he and Chloe were glued together,
20:56inseparable.
20:57But that spot beside him
20:58had been mine for years,
20:59just mine.
21:00Every time I saw
21:01one of those photos,
21:02my face stayed
21:03completely neutral,
21:04but something deep
21:05in my chest would clench.
21:07He was the first person
21:08I ever fell for,
21:09someone I had genuinely,
21:10completely, embarrassingly loved
21:12for such a long time.
21:14In the middle of the night,
21:15alone,
21:16I would fall apart a little.
21:17And sometimes I felt
21:18this stubborn, stupid feeling
21:20that I wasn't ready
21:20to let go.
21:21But every time
21:22that feeling started rising,
21:24I'd replay his words
21:25and give myself a mental slap.
21:27I'd repeat it to myself
21:28over and over.
21:29Stella,
21:30don't be pathetic.
21:31That's the fastest way
21:32to make yourself
21:33even less worth respecting.
21:34Just hold on
21:35a little longer.
21:36Once the detox period
21:37was over,
21:38everything would be fine.
21:39We went a full month
21:40without any contact,
21:41the longest we'd ever gone
21:43since the day we met.
21:44Distance and time
21:45turned out to be
21:46the best medicine.
21:47I ground through the worst of it
21:48and came out the other side.
21:50Just when I'd reached the point
21:51where I didn't think about him
21:52every hour of every day,
21:54he switched to a new number
21:55and called me
21:56from across the country.
22:00So you're just that bold,
22:02running off without me
22:03and staying this long?
22:05Summer's almost over, Stella.
22:08Did you forget you promised
22:09to go on a trip with me?
22:11Maybe it was because
22:12we'd gone so long
22:13without talking,
22:13but underneath
22:14all the complaints,
22:15his voice had this edge to it,
22:17almost careful.
22:18I still didn't want
22:19to talk to him.
22:20I was about to hang up
22:21when his mom snatched the phone.
22:23Stella, sweetheart,
22:25are you having fun out there?
22:26This boy won't tell me anything.
22:28I only just found out
22:30you two had a fight.
22:32Don't be too hard on him, honey.
22:34When you come back,
22:35I'll make him apologize
22:36to your face.
22:37Oh, and Ashler
22:39just got his acceptance letter today.
22:41Yours should come soon, too.
22:42Have you thought about
22:43when you'll come home
22:44for your going away party?
22:46I've got a little surprise planned.
22:48Asher's mom had been
22:49like a second family to me
22:51since I was little.
22:52I couldn't bring myself
22:53to hang up on her,
22:54so I stayed on
22:55and let her talk.
22:56I'm not really planning
22:57to have a party.
22:58My parents are always traveling,
22:59and honestly,
23:01we can just do
23:01a video call thing
23:02with family.
23:03I probably won't be back
23:04before school starts anyway.
23:06I'll just come home
23:06right before move in.
23:08I didn't even finish
23:09the sentence
23:09before Asher took
23:10the phone back.
23:11His breathing was heavy.
23:12I could feel the anger
23:13coming through
23:14from 3,000 miles away.
23:18Stella,
23:19I'm literally the one
23:20reaching out first here.
23:21How much longer
23:22are you going to keep this up?
23:23If you don't come back,
23:25don't expect me
23:25to wait for you.
23:27I'll head to Boston
23:28without you.
23:29He delivered the threat
23:30in this cold,
23:31flat voice,
23:32waited and waited
23:33without getting
23:34the answer he wanted.
23:35My acceptance letter
23:36had already arrived
23:37at home.
23:38When they saw
23:39the school name
23:39on the letter,
23:40my parents finally found out
23:42I'd changed my application.
23:43My mom video called me.
23:45Hi, baby.
23:46Why didn't you talk to us
23:47before changing
23:48your application?
23:49Does Asher know?
23:51His mom called this morning
23:52asking if your letter
23:53had come yet.
23:55I had no words.
24:00Baby,
24:00how are we supposed
24:01to feel okay
24:01about you going
24:02all the way
24:02to California alone?
24:03Aren't you the kid
24:04who's terrified of bugs
24:05and can't handle heat?
24:07You really think
24:08you can manage?
24:09Don't call me
24:10to come deal with it
24:11for you.
24:12That school has a lot
24:13to offer
24:13and Mia will be
24:14going there too.
24:15You don't have to worry.
24:17Is this about a fight
24:18with Asher?
24:20Because that's not a reason
24:21to switch schools
24:22across the country.
24:25What if you change
24:26your mind in a week
24:27and want him back?
24:28Then what?
24:29It's heart your caption.
24:30I just decided
24:32to say it straight.
24:34Asher has a girlfriend.
24:36Mom, Dad,
24:37I have my own life
24:39and I don't want to just
24:40orbit around his forever.
24:42So please support
24:44my choice
24:44and please keep it
24:46between us for now.
24:47My parents looked
24:48at each other
24:49for a long time
24:50without speaking.
24:52The only thing
24:52they asked
24:53was that I come home
24:54sooner rather than later.
24:56School was starting soon
24:57and they wanted
24:58time with me.
24:59My mom mentioned
24:59that Asher had gone off
25:00on another trip
25:01with friends
25:02the very next day
25:03after getting
25:03his acceptance letter.
25:04He'd been gone
25:05for days.
25:06His mom was apparently
25:07calling my mom regularly
25:09asking when I was
25:10flying back.
25:11On the day I landed
25:12my parents showed up
25:13at the airport
25:13dressed like they were
25:14going somewhere formal.
25:15I woke up from my nap
25:17on the drive
25:17and realized
25:18they'd pulled up
25:19to a five star hotel.
25:21I was still half asleep
25:22when my mom grabbed my arm
25:24and steered me
25:25through the lobby
25:25and right there
25:26standing in the middle
25:28of it
25:28was Asher
25:29who I hadn't seen
25:30in months.
25:31My feet
25:32stopped moving
25:33on their own.
25:34Asher was in a perfectly
25:35fitted black suit
25:36leaning casually
25:37beside the lobby fountain
25:38like something
25:39out of a magazine spread.
25:40Just one summer
25:41was all it took.
25:42The boyish edge
25:43had faded
25:44and he looked
25:45exactly like
25:45the version of him
25:46I used to imagine
25:47when I tried
25:48to picture him
25:49grown up.
25:49Something complicated
25:50twisted in my chest.
25:52I'd avoided
25:52this moment for months
25:53and now here it was
25:54sprung on me
25:55with no warning.
25:57Stella
25:57it's Asher's
25:59going away party
25:59we figured
26:00we'd pick you up
26:01and bring you
26:01straight here.
26:03You said
26:03you didn't want
26:04a party of your own
26:05right?
26:05Ashley asked his parents
26:07to set the date
26:08for the day
26:09you got back
26:09so you can kind of
26:10both celebrate together.
26:11Asher seemed
26:12to sense something
26:13because right then
26:14he casually glanced over
26:15and his gaze
26:16landed directly on mine.
26:18My heart lurched sideways
26:19still felt like
26:20the floor dropped out
26:21but Asher moved first.
26:23He took one step
26:24toward us
26:25and then Chloe
26:25appeared out of nowhere
26:26and slipped her arm
26:28through his.
26:28She pulled him
26:29along with her
26:30smiling wide
26:31and walked right
26:32over to us.
26:34Oh my gosh
26:35Stella
26:35you're back
26:36I've been wanting
26:37to properly meet you
26:38forever.
26:40I always saw you
26:41around with Asher
26:43I'm from the AP track
26:44so we never
26:45officially met
26:46and
26:47I'm genuinely
26:48sad about that.
26:50Yeah
26:51Asher looked
26:52vaguely uncomfortable.
26:53Why would you
26:54want to get to know her?
26:55She's just a drama queen
26:57who throws fits.
26:59I honestly thought
27:00she'd stayed
27:00in her aunt's state
27:01forever.
27:02The world will
27:03keep on turning
27:03and your name
27:04will be forgotten.
27:05I had nothing
27:06to say to that.
27:07There was genuinely
27:08no response.
27:09Chloe's silver
27:10bodycon dress
27:10was covered
27:11in tiny crystals
27:12that caught
27:13every bit of light
27:14in the room.
27:14I glanced down
27:15at myself.
27:16White tea,
27:16jeans,
27:17sneakers,
27:18hair that still
27:18had a slight
27:19slept on wave
27:20from the plane.
27:20I looked like
27:21I'd made a wrong
27:22turn on the way
27:23to a convenience store.
27:24I brought a dress
27:24for you baby
27:25you can go change
27:26in the powder room.
27:27I nodded
27:27then shook my head.
27:29There was no point
27:30this wasn't my party.
27:31Asher kept staring
27:32at me with this
27:33unreadable expression.
27:34Chloe's eyes kept
27:35flicking back and forth
27:36between the two of us.
27:37Luckily a few more
27:38guests arrived just then
27:40and Chloe immediately
27:41pulled Asher over
27:42to greet them.
27:43Like she was already
27:44the hostess.
27:44Mom let's go in.
27:45I'm a little hungry.
27:48It was a small gathering.
27:50Asher had only
27:51invited close family
27:52and a handful of friends.
27:53Every single person
27:54I knew looked visibly
27:56shocked when they
27:57saw me walk in.
27:58I just smiled
27:58and said hello
27:59and acted like
28:00I didn't notice
28:01but nobody was subtle
28:02about their curiosity.
28:04The people watching
28:04energy was off
28:05the charts.
28:08I slipped out
28:09to the terrace
28:09for some air
28:10and could immediately
28:11hear a small group
28:12in the hallway
28:13cornering Asher
28:14for the gossip.
28:17Wait, didn't Stella
28:18fall out with you
28:19over the Chloe thing?
28:20Why is she here?
28:20Did she come crawling back?
28:22She's just quick tempered
28:24and in a mood.
28:24She always comes around
28:25after a couple of days.
28:26We've known each other
28:27our whole lives.
28:27She's not actually
28:28going to cut me off.
28:29I mean Stella's
28:30genuinely great.
28:31She's been ride or died
28:31for you for years.
28:32All of us are low-key jealous
28:33of how she treats you.
28:34But like,
28:35one is your childhood
28:36best friend and
28:37honestly,
28:38Stella's amazing
28:39but it also feels
28:40kind of limiting.
28:41I'm young.
28:42I don't want to only
28:43ever have one person.
28:44That's too predictable.
28:45I need to see
28:46what else is out there.
28:47But that doesn't mean
28:48anything has to end
28:49as long as I know
28:50there's always a light
28:51on at home for me.
28:53You're such a player.
28:54I'd heard enough.
28:55I backed away
28:56as quietly as I could.
28:57The evening breeze
28:58hit my face
28:59and I felt my eyes
29:00go hot.
29:01I just hated myself
29:02for spending so many years
29:04being blind
29:05to who he actually was.
29:06I was in absolutely
29:08the worst mood
29:10of the entire summer
29:11but Asher's mom
29:12was thrilled to see me
29:13and spent most of dinner
29:15doting on me
29:16refusing to let go
29:17of my hand.
29:17Stella,
29:18Boston can get really dry
29:19in winter.
29:20Let Asher take you
29:21shopping tomorrow
29:22and stock up
29:23on some good moisturizers.
29:24Oh, it's fine.
29:25There are plenty of shops
29:26out there
29:27and online shopping
29:28is so easy.
29:28She nodded warmly
29:29and turned to my mom.
29:31I already picked out
29:32all the bedding
29:33for the dorms.
29:34Got a set for Asher
29:35and one for Stella
29:36at the same time
29:36all four seasons covered.
29:38Boston winters are brutal.
29:39I went with really thick comforters
29:41and got a few winter coats
29:43for Stella too.
29:44Don't you worry about a thing.
29:45My mom made a face
29:46like she'd swallowed something.
29:48All of that would be
29:49completely useless
29:50in California.
29:51But she didn't want
29:51to embarrass anyone
29:52so she thanked her graciously.
29:54Chloe, sitting nearby,
29:56looked like she was
29:56biting through her own cheek.
29:58Asher's mom
29:59didn't seem to notice.
30:00She kept right on talking,
30:01addressing both of us.
30:03Once you're both in Boston,
30:05you'll be each other's family.
30:07Asher, you better take
30:08good care of Stella
30:09and stop making her upset.
30:11You hear me?
30:11Asher threw a glance
30:12my way with zero expression.
30:15She doesn't need anyone
30:16to look after her.
30:17She's perfectly capable
30:18of flying on her own.
30:19The table got a little stiff
30:20and that's when Chloe
30:21smoothly cut in.
30:23Oh, don't worry.
30:23My school is in Boston too.
30:25I'll be there
30:25to look after Asher.
30:26And Stella will be
30:27all the way in California anyway
30:29so it's not really practical.
30:32Before she even finished
30:33the sentence,
30:34Asher and his parents'
30:35faces changed.
30:36California?
30:37Every single one of them
30:39looked at me
30:40and asked it
30:41at the same time.
30:43Asher, you didn't know?
30:44It's been on the school's
30:46honor board.
30:47Oh wait,
30:47you haven't been back
30:48to campus.
30:49Every pair of eyes
30:50at the table
30:50swiveled to me.
30:52Under the weight
30:52of all that attention,
30:53I quietly nodded.
30:55My mom stepped in
30:56to explain.
30:57Stella made a last minute
30:58decision to change
30:59her application.
31:01She's going to a great
31:02school in California
31:03and it's actually
31:05the perfect program
31:06for her.
31:07Asher didn't believe it.
31:08He grabbed my hand
31:09and made me look at him.
31:11Stella,
31:12I literally watched you
31:13fill out that application.
31:15We were going
31:16to the same school.
31:17His grip was tight enough
31:18to actually hurt
31:19and it pushed me
31:20over the edge.
31:21Yeah, I changed it.
31:23What does it have
31:24to do with you?
31:25Asher looked stunned
31:25for a second
31:26then started laughing
31:27like I'd said
31:28something ridiculous.
31:29You're joking.
31:30You're literally
31:31the girl who jumps
31:32onto my back
31:33at the sight of a bug
31:34and you're moving
31:35to California?
31:37And you're moving
31:37to California?
31:38I pulled out my phone,
31:40found the crystal clear
31:41photo of my acceptance letter
31:42and held it up
31:43in his face.
31:44Asher took the phone,
31:45zoomed in,
31:46zoomed out,
31:47read it over and over
31:49and finally let out
31:50a laugh that had
31:51no humor in it at all.
31:53In the middle
31:53of everyone's gasps,
31:55he grabbed my wrist
31:55and pulled me
31:56out of the dining room.
31:59He pulled me
32:00into a side room
32:01and locked the door
32:01behind us.
32:02Asher planted himself
32:03against it,
32:04cutting off any escape
32:05and came at me hard.
32:07Stella,
32:07I cannot believe you.
32:08You're so mad
32:09that you just forget
32:10our whole plan,
32:11go behind my back
32:12and commitment
32:13to a school
32:13across the country.
32:14I lifted my head.
32:15I took a breath
32:16and made myself
32:17look him straight
32:17in the eye.
32:18I have my own plans.
32:20Since when do I have
32:21to build my entire future
32:23around what you want?
32:24Asher,
32:25be honest with yourself.
32:26are you actually
32:27upset about the plan
32:29or are you upset
32:30because I'm not available
32:31to be your fallback girl
32:32anymore?
32:33The color drained
32:34from his face.
32:35What is that supposed
32:35to mean?
32:36Could you not phrase
32:37things like that?
32:38We're adults.
32:39That night was
32:40completely mutual.
32:41Are you seriously
32:42still bringing that up?
32:43I was embarrassed
32:44but I held his gaze anyway.
32:46Asher,
32:46if you like someone else
32:47you could have just said so.
32:48I'm not so shameless
32:49that I would have kept
32:50throwing myself at you.
32:51But you knew
32:52you didn't like me back
32:53and you just watched me
32:54walk straight into the flame.
32:55that was fun for you
32:56wasn't it?
32:56Even now he still
32:57didn't get it.
32:58People don't say goodbye
32:59until they've completely
33:00run out of hope.
33:01He flushed.
33:02Something in what I said
33:03hit.
33:04His face went from
33:05white to red
33:05and he visibly swayed.
33:07What do you even
33:08listen to what you're saying?
33:10You...
33:10He couldn't finish
33:11the sentence.
33:14Stella,
33:14we've known each other
33:15since we were
33:15eight years old
33:16and we're 18 now.
33:18If you're choosing
33:18to walk away
33:19from what we have
33:20then we don't have
33:21to be friends either.
33:22And with just that
33:23he turned and walked
33:24out of the hotel.
33:32From that day
33:33until the day
33:34I left for school
33:35I never saw Asher again.
33:36Mia sent me a screenshot
33:38of his official
33:39couple's post with Chloe.
33:40I deleted it
33:41without even opening it.
33:42Every mutual friend
33:43connected to him
33:44I blocked.
33:45There was genuinely
33:46no point in following
33:47any of it anymore.
33:51The only exception
33:52was the day I flew out
33:53to California.
33:54Of course,
33:55because the universe
33:56has a terrible sense of humor
33:57I walked straight into Asher
33:59at the airport again
34:00with Chloe still glued
34:01to his side.
34:02When we passed each other
34:03he said a stiff hello
34:05to my parents
34:05and kept walking
34:06clearly still angry.
34:08He didn't look at me once.
34:09We scattered in different directions
34:11and neither of us looked back.
34:12Right before I got to the security line
34:14I glanced over
34:15and caught Asher at his gate
34:17about to board.
34:18He gave me one
34:19cold, flat look
34:20and then disappeared
34:21through the door
34:22without turning around.
34:23The person who had been part
34:24of every chapter
34:25of my growing up
34:26we were finally
34:27completely done.
34:28Different destinations
34:29at last
34:30then I hope yours goes well.
34:32I said it only to myself.
34:34After that
34:34a long, long time passed
34:36without either of us
34:37hearing a single thing
34:38about the other.
34:39I specifically asked my parents
34:41not to bring up
34:42anything related to Asher
34:44or his family
34:45in front of me.
34:45Over New Year's break
34:46a girl from our high school
34:48came to visit.
34:48He's nothing like that
34:50cold, focused
34:51straight A guy
34:52he was in high school.
34:53He's completely different.
34:57Honestly
34:57if you ran into him now
34:59you might not even
35:00recognize him.
35:02I didn't say anything.
35:03Mia kicked her under the table
35:04and smoothly changed
35:06the subject
35:06and the girl dropped it.
35:07We did the New Year's
35:08countdown by the water
35:09and Mia told me
35:10to make a wish.
35:12Hope New Year
35:13Syria Parent Healthy
35:14can Keating under the world.
35:16I realized it was
35:17the first wish
35:17I'd ever made
35:18that had absolutely
35:19nothing to do with him.
35:20For a full six years
35:22of my life
35:22every single wish
35:23I made had involved
35:24Asher in some way.
35:27Mia!
35:28Happy New Year!
35:29I felt genuinely happy.
35:31I knew I had finally
35:32actually
35:33completely let go.
35:35The first winter break
35:37of college
35:37I missed my parents
35:38so badly
35:39I couldn't stand it.
35:41The second my last exam
35:42was done
35:42I was on the first flight home.
35:44What I didn't expect
35:45was that Asher
35:46had come to the airport
35:47with my parents
35:48to pick me up.
35:49After half a year apart
35:50we had both changed.
35:52He was thinner
35:52had dyed his hair
35:54but was still
35:55honestly
35:56annoyingly good looking.
35:57I've always had
35:58terrible judgment
35:59about people
35:59but my taste
36:00has never been
36:01the problem.
36:01Why else would I
36:02have been trailing
36:03after him
36:04since we were five?
36:05Hey there
36:05big bro Asher.
36:06He stared at me
36:07like I'd spoken
36:07a different language.
36:09We ran into him outside.
36:11He insisted on
36:12coming along to help.
36:13I smiled and waved her off.
36:15It was fine.
36:18In the car
36:18I immediately launched
36:20into all the funny things
36:21that had happened at school
36:22and my parents
36:23were the whole ride.
36:24No one was paying
36:25any attention to Asher.
36:28You've worked hard.
36:29Please send our regards
36:30to your parents.
36:31He seemed like he wanted
36:32to come inside
36:32when we got home
36:33but all three of us
36:34politely turned him down together.
36:36My grandma and my aunt
36:37had both come back
36:38to celebrate the holidays
36:39that year.
36:40New Year's Eve
36:41was loud and packed with family.
36:43After the big dinner
36:44the older relatives
36:45parked themselves
36:45in front of the TV
36:46while the rest of us
36:47were teaching each other
36:48card games.
36:49That's when Asher
36:50showed up at the door
36:51with his parents
36:51arms full of bags.
36:53Our house is too quiet tonight.
36:55Hope you don't mind
36:56us crashing your game.
37:01Our house is too quiet tonight.
37:03Hope you don't mind
37:03us crashing your game.
37:04Asher's mom laughed
37:05as she walked in.
37:06Every year growing up
37:08the two families
37:08had spent the holiday together.
37:10This year
37:11because of everything
37:12that had happened
37:12my mom had turned down
37:14the invitation
37:14to share the big dinner.
37:16But you can't exactly
37:17turn people away
37:18once they're at your door.
37:19Asher settled himself naturally.
37:21My cousins had no idea
37:22about any of the drama
37:24and kept teasing us
37:25like they always had.
37:26I laughed it off.
37:28It's not what you think.
37:30Asher's expression
37:30went a little flat.
37:32When midnight came
37:32and we all went outside
37:34for sparklers
37:36he caught my arm
37:37and looked like
37:38he was working up
37:39to say something.
37:40My phone rang.
37:41My face went a little warm.
37:42It was a guy
37:43from one of my clubs
37:44at school.
37:46Hi Stella.
37:47I'm just a bit bored
37:49and wanted to say
37:49Happy New Year to you.
37:50A local California boy
37:52named Jake.
37:53He was good looking too.
37:54Not in that cold
37:55aloof way.
37:56More like the guy
37:57who's always laughing
37:58at everything
37:59and making you laugh
38:00right along with him.
38:01He never ran out
38:02of things to say
38:02and he had a way
38:03of making me
38:04completely lose it
38:05at the most random things.
38:07We talked for a while longer
38:08and when he finally hung up
38:10Asher was standing
38:10right behind me
38:11with a face
38:12like a thundercloud.
38:15Boyfriend?
38:17Not yet, I guess.
38:21Not yet, I guess.
38:23I thought about it
38:24and answered honestly.
38:25I assumed he was done
38:26but then he spoke again.
38:28Long distance guys
38:29aren't always reliable.
38:30You should find
38:31someone local,
38:32someone you actually know.
38:36I nodded.
38:37Something in that
38:38seemed to land
38:38somewhere tender.
38:39You're right.
38:40You really can't tell
38:41with people.
38:41I'll keep my guard up.
38:43Asher went quiet
38:44for a very long time.
38:46I assumed he was done.
38:47I didn't think
38:48too hard about it.
38:50Thanks for the advice,
38:51big bro.
38:52You should figure out
38:53your own situation too.
38:54He'd always been
38:55unpredictable like that.
38:56After that,
38:57I spent the rest of break
38:58bouncing around
38:59visiting relatives
39:00with my grandma
39:01and parents
39:01and then we did
39:02a little road trip.
39:03I was barely home.
39:04I didn't run into Asher once.
39:06The break was short
39:07and soon enough
39:07I was back at school
39:08but the very next day
39:10after I arrived,
39:11Asher was standing
39:12outside my campus gate.
39:15Asher,
39:15what are you doing here?
39:17I wanted to see
39:18what your school looks like
39:20and check if you're
39:21actually doing okay
39:22out here.
39:24Really well, actually.
39:25The food here is amazing.
39:26You should look up
39:27some spots and try them.
39:28Stella,
39:30can't you come eat
39:31with me just once?
39:35Sorry about that, man.
39:36I've already got Stella
39:37booked.
39:37You'll have to get in line.
39:39Stella,
39:40you came back to school
39:42this early for him?
39:45Sorry, Asher.
39:46We're heading out to eat.
39:48I'll see you.
39:49Let's go.
39:50Didn't you say
39:50the place was far?
39:51Stop standing there.
39:52Asher was still standing
39:54at the campus gate
39:55watching us
39:55and under the shadow
39:56of the trees,
39:57he looked incredibly alone.
39:59He suddenly started
40:00showing up in my world
40:02constantly.
40:02I never found out
40:03what excuse he gave
40:04his school
40:05but he kept appearing
40:06in California
40:07out of nowhere.
40:08He started showing up
40:09with gifts,
40:09flowers,
40:10bags,
40:11jewelry
40:11and I turned
40:12every single one down.
40:13When there was
40:14nothing else to do,
40:15he'd just sit outside
40:16my dorm building
40:17and refuse to leave
40:18no matter how many
40:19times I asked.
40:20Whenever he managed
40:21to catch me,
40:22he'd fallen to step
40:23beside me
40:23to every single class
40:25then follow me
40:25to the dining hall.
40:26Jake was visibly
40:27miserable about
40:28the whole thing.
40:29Asher's mom
40:30had been calling
40:30and messaging me
40:31from multiple angles.
40:32She begged me
40:33to please talk
40:34some sense into him.
40:35I was beyond done.
40:36I genuinely
40:37could not figure out
40:38what Asher thought
40:39he was doing.
40:42Stella,
40:42why does Jake
40:43get to pursue you
40:44but I don't?
40:46Sana Waitasthas.
40:48He's known you
40:48for what,
40:49a few months?
40:50How many years
40:51have I known you?
40:53No one in this world
40:54understands you
40:55the way I do,
40:56not even your parents.
40:57And no one is better
40:58for you than me.
41:04Ashler,
41:05do you genuinely
41:06not remember
41:07what you did?
41:09Ask yourself honestly,
41:11did you ever
41:12actually treat
41:13my feelings
41:13like they mattered?
41:16You just liked
41:17the ego boost
41:18of having me
41:18chase after you.
41:20You knew no matter
41:20what you did,
41:21I wouldn't leave
41:22so you just did
41:23whatever you felt like
41:24with my heart.
41:26Yeah,
41:27I did some things
41:27wrong back then.
41:29I was young,
41:30I thought the whole world
41:30was waiting for me
41:31and I didn't want to feel
41:33like I was tied
41:33to any one person.
41:35I owe you
41:35a real apology,
41:36Stella.
41:37I'm sorry.
41:39But even if you
41:40treat me like a stranger,
41:41can I at least
41:42have the chance
41:42to start over
41:43and earn it back?
41:44After you left,
41:45I realized
41:46I don't know
41:46how to live
41:46without you in it.
41:48I can't imagine
41:49going forward
41:50and not having
41:51anyone to share
41:51everything with.
41:52Honestly,
41:53since leaving you,
41:54I figured out
41:55that real,
41:56mutual feelings
41:57don't require you
41:57to shrink yourself
41:58down to nothing.
41:59I can just be myself.
42:01My mood doesn't have
42:02to orbit around
42:02someone else's
42:03and when I realized
42:04that,
42:05I started to wonder
42:06if what I felt
42:07back then
42:07was ever real love
42:09or just something
42:10a younger,
42:10more naive version
42:11of me invented.
42:14But,
42:15but,
42:17we made promises.
42:21We said we'd go
42:22to college together,
42:23study abroad together,
42:24travel the whole world together.
42:25Are you going to walk
42:26away from all of that too?
42:28Stella,
42:28are you going to leave
42:29all this behind too?
42:31You broke the promises
42:32first,
42:34and I've already
42:35found someone
42:35I want to do
42:36all of those things with.
42:39Stop, Stella.
42:40please,
42:41just stop.
42:47Maybe you're not
42:47actually in love
42:48with me.
42:49Maybe you just
42:50can't stand
42:50the idea of losing.
42:52Asher,
42:52honestly,
42:54it's time for you
42:55to move on too.
42:58I didn't wait
42:59for a response.
43:00Jake had been waiting
43:01across the street
43:02for a while.
43:02I jogged over,
43:03and he immediately
43:04reached down
43:05and took my hand.
43:08Finally shook the ex?
43:11Did you tell him
43:12I've got full
43:12bug patrol rights now?
43:14He doesn't get
43:14a single one.
43:17Everyone is going
43:17through their own goodbyes.
43:19As for us,
43:21it's finally
43:22completely over,
43:24fading away
43:25like the rain.
43:26Everyone in the middle
43:26of their own goodbye,
43:28and just like that,
43:29the two of us
43:29were finally,
43:30completely over,
43:32scattered like rain.
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