- 20 minutes ago
A Perfect Life - Unveiling the Illusions of Perfection [Full Movie] [Free Online HD]Full EP - Full
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:14I am a haunted house, and she is the ghost in the attic, turning on lights, stomping
00:00:23on the floor, and making herself known in every reflection I see.
00:00:29She's there, she's always there, to remind me of how lonely the world can be.
00:00:36To remind me that we are all fragile.
00:00:40I am there, with her, up those stairs, sitting in the dark, planning our future together.
00:00:47A future we will never have, a future I will never deserve.
00:00:56I am an exorcist, purging her with pigment.
00:01:17If there was one thing you could change about your life, what would it be?
00:01:22One thing?
00:01:24One thing's all I get?
00:01:27One thing's all I get, I don't want to play this game.
00:01:35I want to be President of the United States.
00:01:38That's right.
00:01:39That way I can declare a state anarchy.
00:01:44I want to be a movie star.
00:01:46A big fucking movie star.
00:01:50I live in a big fucking house, make big fucking movies.
00:01:58I want to be the love child of Sid Vicious and Molly Ringwald.
00:02:07I want to sit up all night in an all night diner and order nothing.
00:02:13I want to be God, for the sole purpose of saying, I brought you into this world, don't
00:02:17think for one minute I will take you out.
00:02:23I want the original promise.
00:02:27I want justice for all.
00:02:32I want love, hate, ups and downs, and everything in between, for nothing in return.
00:02:44I want the world in my palm.
00:02:47No cooler than 60 degrees, no warmer than 75, and never a cloud in the sky.
00:02:58I want the perfect kiss, the perfect imperfection, the perfect life.
00:03:09But more than anything, I want someone who wants what I want.
00:03:16And I want her to walk through that door right over there, and order biscuits and gravy.
00:03:28Hi.
00:03:30Hi.
00:03:30Hi.
00:03:31I bet your kids are adorable.
00:03:37Oh, it's okay, I already know what I want.
00:03:39Okay.
00:03:40I'll have the biscuits and gravy, please.
00:03:42Same.
00:03:43Okay, two biscuits and gravy, anything to drink?
00:03:46Coffee's fine.
00:03:46All right.
00:03:47Thanks.
00:03:48Thanks.
00:03:49I'm Brian.
00:03:50Bella.
00:03:51Nice to meet you, Bella.
00:03:54She blew into my life like a storm, uprooting everything I knew to be true, and filling it
00:04:00with so much more.
00:04:02She became everything I never knew I wanted.
00:04:05In a single glance.
00:04:07In a moment.
00:04:09In a straight conversation.
00:04:12In that slight smile that started with the curling of her toes and ended at the corner
00:04:16of her lips.
00:04:18Just before she burst into laughter, she became it.
00:04:25She became perfection.
00:04:32Cool.
00:04:33So.
00:04:34So.
00:04:35Morrissey or The Cure?
00:04:37Uh, The Cure.
00:04:38Yeah.
00:04:39Beatles or Stones?
00:04:40The Stones.
00:04:41King of Pop or King of Rock?
00:04:43King of Rock.
00:04:45Definitely.
00:04:47Well, Elvis is always fascinated.
00:04:49How so?
00:04:50Well, here's this normal guy that accidentally got famous.
00:04:53I mean, he wrote a song that was for his dad, or his uncle, or something like that, for
00:04:58their birthday, and the next thing you know, he's a teen idol.
00:05:02I just, watching his life is like watching a tree grow.
00:05:06And it gets bigger and bigger, and then he ends up swollen and yellow.
00:05:14I don't know, it's like he was on a satellite somewhere in outer space, watching himself, and
00:05:20that's what it did to him.
00:05:22Are you saying that Elvis was an alien?
00:05:26Hello, darling.
00:05:27This is Elvis from the planet Graceland, and I just want to thank you for coming out
00:05:31on a date with me this evening.
00:05:34You know what I like about you?
00:05:36What's that?
00:05:37You're full of shits.
00:05:39I think I just got a little Amish.
00:05:42Oh, I apologize.
00:05:44Sorry about that.
00:05:44You better be.
00:05:48To Elvis.
00:05:49To Elvis.
00:05:51Elvis.
00:05:53Yellow and swollen.
00:05:55How could I have known even then, in a moment of such happiness, the longitude and latitude
00:06:02of my fall from Graceland?
00:06:06Hours went by.
00:06:08Day turns to night, night to day.
00:06:11Small talk turns to talk of dreams and aspirations.
00:06:16First date eyes become the eyes that you take for granted.
00:06:22I hang on every word, she says.
00:06:26And those hours that became days become weeks.
00:06:29And we were married on a Saturday.
00:06:33And those weeks became months.
00:06:36And Cole, our first daughter, was born, sweet as sugar.
00:06:41And those months became a year.
00:06:43And that year became four years.
00:06:45And Sarah, our second daughter, was born.
00:06:49Born sick.
00:06:51And that sickness drove Bella into darkness.
00:06:53And she began to wither and die.
00:06:58And me.
00:07:01I became Elvis.
00:07:03Yellow and swollen.
00:07:05Watching my life unfold from a satellite somewhere in space.
00:07:12Counting the rings of my tree.
00:07:13And forever wondering how this perfect life came to be.
00:07:42I'll be right there, honey.
00:07:45Bye.
00:07:58Bye.
00:08:09Bye.
00:08:23Yay!
00:08:25Well, I think you got dog poo in your hair.
00:08:28Daddy?
00:08:29Yeah!
00:08:31Yuck, where did you get the dog poo in your hair?
00:08:34Ugh, here we think we need to wash it out.
00:08:38Okay, then let's wash it out.
00:08:43Alright, here we go.
00:08:44Here, turn over.
00:08:47Lean back.
00:08:48Lean back.
00:08:49There we go.
00:08:50No, you want to lean back.
00:08:51No, the other way.
00:08:52Because if you lean back, then I won't get dressed.
00:08:54Hold my hands.
00:08:55Hold my hands.
00:08:55Yeah, hold your hands.
00:08:56And lean back.
00:08:57There we go.
00:08:58Oh, that feels good, right?
00:09:00There we go.
00:09:01Yay, good girl.
00:09:06There it is.
00:09:07Oh, yes.
00:09:10Standing on the shoulders of children.
00:09:13Innocent eyes that gaze upon the world with wondrous excitement.
00:09:17You will probably never know me.
00:09:20You will probably not remember me.
00:09:23But someday, when you're older, your mother will show you a photograph and tell you my story.
00:09:31A story filled with self-abandon and regret.
00:09:35Regret that I will not be there for your report cards.
00:09:39For proms.
00:09:41For graduations.
00:09:43To give you both away at your weddings.
00:09:47I always wanted to be the one to teach you to drive.
00:09:50To navigate life with that same beautiful innocence that fills your youthful spirit today.
00:09:56To hope.
00:09:59To strive.
00:10:01To dream.
00:10:02To dream.
00:10:04But you're only three feet tall.
00:10:06And already bigger than me.
00:10:08To dream.
00:10:09To dream.
00:10:26To dream.
00:10:27To dream.
00:10:28To dream.
00:10:29To dream.
00:10:32To dream.
00:10:33To dream.
00:10:35To dream.
00:10:36To dream.
00:10:36To dream.
00:10:37To dream.
00:10:38Get up.
00:10:39Who?
00:10:39Hello?
00:10:40Hello?
00:10:41I can't reach you.
00:10:42Come on.
00:10:43Get up.
00:10:45Feel this thing.
00:10:46It's coming out.
00:10:46It's coming out.
00:10:47Please.
00:10:48Alright.
00:10:48I'm just trying to keep you from panicking.
00:10:52Alright.
00:10:54Yeah, take your time.
00:10:55Well, I'm trying.
00:10:56Look, I can't go to the hospital naked.
00:10:58Why not?
00:10:59That would be awkward.
00:11:01Okay.
00:11:03Alright.
00:11:03Speaking of which hospital we're going to?
00:11:05You don't know which hospital we're going to?
00:11:06Yep.
00:11:07Yes.
00:11:08I know which hospital.
00:11:09Which hospital are we going to?
00:11:11I don't know.
00:11:12Let's go.
00:11:12I got it.
00:11:15Okay.
00:11:16Okay.
00:11:17Okay.
00:11:17Calm down.
00:11:18Okay.
00:11:18Calm down.
00:11:20Do you want...
00:11:23Whoa.
00:11:25Watch the hose.
00:11:26Got it.
00:11:27Something with more water than you.
00:11:28Oh, come on.
00:11:30Reese's, you stay right there.
00:11:32And...
00:11:33Okay.
00:11:36Let's get this.
00:11:38Okay.
00:11:39Oh.
00:11:39Alright.
00:11:40Why is this getting in the car?
00:11:42Oh, God.
00:11:42We're going to have to detail the car after this.
00:11:45Okay.
00:11:46Okay.
00:11:48Okay.
00:11:50You ready?
00:11:50Oh, baby.
00:11:51I'm ready.
00:11:52Are you ready?
00:11:54You seem a little frazzled.
00:11:55Yes.
00:11:55I'm frazzled.
00:11:56Yes.
00:11:57Just breathe.
00:11:57Okay.
00:11:59Maybe...
00:12:00Maybe...
00:12:01Um...
00:12:02Cole should drive.
00:12:04Cole!
00:12:07Cole!
00:12:12Cole!
00:12:17Cole!
00:12:18Cole!
00:12:19Cole!
00:12:20Cole!
00:12:21Cole!
00:12:23Cole!
00:12:24Cole!
00:12:25Cole!
00:12:27Cole!
00:12:32Cole!
00:12:33Cole!
00:12:33Cole!
00:12:34Cole!
00:12:35Cole!
00:12:36Cole!
00:12:37Cole!
00:12:39It's okay. It's okay.
00:12:42I'm going to go for a walk.
00:13:11Hello?
00:13:13Are you busy?
00:13:15Ryan, are you okay?
00:13:17I just needed to talk to someone.
00:13:20I'll wait up.
00:13:30Time.
00:13:31It moves so slowly when you have nothing to do but think.
00:13:36To remember the beginning.
00:13:38To dwell on the end.
00:13:41And to be haunted by everything in between.
00:13:44To be haunted by that word.
00:13:48That undefinable word.
00:13:51As undefinable as God.
00:13:54Yet a word I thought I knew intimately.
00:13:58Perfection.
00:13:59The perfect wife.
00:14:01The perfect children.
00:14:03The house.
00:14:04The dog.
00:14:05The job.
00:14:05The two-car garage.
00:14:06The diapers.
00:14:07The joint bank account.
00:14:10Piano recitals.
00:14:12Tap shoes.
00:14:14The American dream.
00:14:16An idea that became an ideal.
00:14:20It's Friday.
00:14:23Is it recycling or yard waste today?
00:14:48Is it recycling or yard waste today?
00:14:51Is it recycling or yard waste today?
00:15:14Have you ever stood naked?
00:15:16alone
00:15:18and out of reach
00:15:33the way Sarah cries
00:15:36I can't help her
00:15:39and the way Bella cries
00:15:40she doesn't want me to help her
00:15:44I just want
00:15:46I know
00:15:49well I don't
00:15:52once upon a time maybe
00:15:54but not anymore
00:15:56you want too much
00:15:59no I don't
00:16:00I only want it to be perfect
00:16:03well it's not
00:16:05you never would have started fucking me
00:16:12idea what it's like
00:16:14to want something that you can't have
00:16:18what do you want
00:16:20I want you
00:16:23and you want her
00:16:25but you don't want her
00:16:27you want the idea of her
00:16:30and what you don't understand Brian
00:16:32is that you've idealized your life away
00:16:36but I want you
00:16:38I don't know what you want
00:16:40but you don't want me
00:16:43I'm just another part of the ideal
00:16:45and I'm not perfect
00:16:47but you're perfect
00:16:49but you're perfect to me
00:16:52and that I need time with people
00:16:55but I already know all of this
00:16:59everything I want
00:17:10I need her to hold me
00:17:12like she used to
00:17:15to hold me so close
00:17:16like we're the same person
00:17:19like this
00:17:21like what we have
00:17:26we have a dance
00:17:33and a photograph
00:17:41Kim was right
00:17:43she had become the band-aid
00:17:45for a wound that would not heal
00:17:48and no matter how much of her
00:17:50I stripped away
00:17:51she would never fit
00:17:52into the mold Bella had created
00:17:54I'd be more alone with you
00:17:58than without you
00:18:16she was right about a lot of things
00:18:19one day you wake up
00:18:20and you realize
00:18:21that everything you ever wanted
00:18:23turned out to be nothing
00:18:25you ever wanted at all
00:18:27and even the big things
00:18:29become as trivial as watermelon
00:18:53you smell like cigarettes
00:18:57you smell like cigarettes
00:19:24morning sunshine
00:19:26hey beautiful
00:19:27hey
00:19:28Hi.
00:19:34Are you doing anything for lunch today?
00:19:36No. Did you want to do something?
00:19:39Well, I was thinking about stopping by.
00:19:43I'd like that.
00:20:02What time did you come in last night?
00:20:06What's that, honey?
00:20:07What time did you come in last night?
00:20:11I don't know. I didn't really look at the clock.
00:20:14I didn't even hear you come in.
00:20:16Really?
00:20:18Well, I gave you a kiss. Good night. You rolled over. I thought I woke you up.
00:20:25Nope.
00:20:28You know, one of these days I'm going to get a call from Canada.
00:20:32You're going to be missing a sock.
00:20:33You're going to have a new tattoo of a heart and some sailor's name on your ass.
00:20:38And you're going to say,
00:20:40I don't know where I was, but I woke up in a car that wasn't mine
00:20:44with some large man in a unitard offering me a sip of bourbon.
00:20:48Mmm.
00:20:51Here's your other sock, sailor.
00:21:04You're so sexy when you have your drafting face on.
00:21:07Hey, beautiful.
00:21:08Hi.
00:21:10Wanna go get some lunch or something?
00:21:11Yeah, I was thinking we could go down to the waterfront, but first I need to use the restroom.
00:21:16Yeah, just at the end of the hall to the left.
00:21:19Well, aren't you forgetting something?
00:21:21Then what would that be?
00:21:22Do I have to ask?
00:21:34Hi.
00:21:35Hi.
00:21:37You look good.
00:21:39Oh, thanks.
00:21:39How are you?
00:21:40I'm good.
00:21:41I just stopped by for lunch.
00:21:42I think we're going to go to the waterfront.
00:21:43Did you want to come?
00:21:45I can't.
00:21:46Thanks, though.
00:21:46I've already got plans.
00:21:48That's too bad.
00:21:49We don't hang out enough.
00:21:50I know.
00:21:50We should see each other more often.
00:21:52Oh, that's pretty.
00:21:53What is it?
00:21:55Thanks.
00:21:56I think it's called posh, but it tastes like watermelon.
00:22:00Waterfront.
00:22:00Waterfront.
00:22:01Waterfront.
00:22:02I like it.
00:22:03Waterfront.
00:22:04So how have you been?
00:22:06Waterfront.
00:22:06Good.
00:22:07You know, kids and stuff.
00:22:10Waterfront.
00:22:10Yeah, we've got some clients like that.
00:22:13Well, it's good to see you.
00:22:16I've got to get back to work.
00:22:18Yeah, good to see you too.
00:22:20Waterfront.
00:22:22Waterfront.
00:22:23Waterfront.
00:22:25Waterfront.
00:22:26Waterfront.
00:22:27Waterfront.
00:22:27Waterfront.
00:22:28Waterfront.
00:22:44Waterfront.
00:22:47Waterfront.
00:22:49Waterfront.
00:22:59And I'm not as hungry as I thought it was.
00:23:13Oh, she does, doesn't she?
00:23:21Yeah.
00:23:21Yeah.
00:23:27Bella?
00:23:28Bella?
00:23:29Are you okay?
00:23:30Yeah.
00:23:30Bella?
00:23:33If you want to talk.
00:23:34Mom, I'm fine, I'm fine.
00:23:36Fine.
00:23:37It's okay, I just...
00:23:38Right out here if you need anything.
00:23:39I'm fine.
00:23:51I'm fine.
00:23:52I'm fine.
00:24:03Okay.
00:24:08Shut up.
00:24:10Oh, God.
00:24:15Everything's gonna be okay.
00:24:18Everything's gonna be okay.
00:24:20Everything's gonna be okay.
00:24:35Hey, little angels.
00:24:37How are you doing?
00:24:39What you doing? Putting on a show?
00:24:43Hi.
00:24:45You want me cooking?
00:24:47Something smells good.
00:24:49Cooking, baby.
00:24:55Something smells good.
00:25:03How was work?
00:25:04Well, my new client's a couple of pricked.
00:25:06That was good.
00:25:08It's nice to see you there for lunch.
00:25:09You still have one?
00:25:11Yeah.
00:25:12I'll let you go.
00:25:14Come on.
00:25:16Come on.
00:25:25Come on.
00:25:26Come on.
00:25:52Come on.
00:25:55Lord.
00:25:57Dearest Bella...
00:25:59I miss you.
00:26:02I don't know.
00:26:39Oh my god.
00:26:40Bella.
00:26:41Bella.
00:26:42Bella, what the fuck?
00:26:44Oh my god.
00:26:46Bella.
00:26:46Jesus Christ.
00:26:49Oh my god.
00:26:54Oh my god.
00:26:56Oh my god.
00:26:58Oh my god.
00:26:58Oh my god.
00:27:00Uh, um, my wife just cut her wrist.
00:27:03I need an ambulance at 6124 Street.
00:27:06Sir, I need you to calm down.
00:27:08Can you do that for me?
00:27:10Yeah.
00:27:11The ambulance is on its way.
00:27:13I need you to know, sir, is she still breathing?
00:27:18Yeah.
00:27:21I need you to stop the bleeding.
00:27:22Oh my god.
00:27:24Brian?
00:27:25Brian, I need you to apply pressure above the laceration and lift her arm above the level of her heart.
00:27:31Can you do that for me?
00:27:33Yeah, but do I have to put the phone down?
00:27:35That's okay, Brian.
00:27:36Put the phone down.
00:27:37Oh god.
00:27:37Don't hang up.
00:27:38Don't hang up.
00:27:40Oh god.
00:27:42Oh god.
00:27:42Oh my god.
00:27:57Oh my god.
00:28:00Oh my god.
00:28:02Oh my god.
00:28:02Oh my god.
00:28:43Thank you for calling Jennings Architecture.
00:28:46It is currently after hours, but if you have an emergency, you may contact a representative at 555-4868.
00:28:55Or stay on the line and leave a message.
00:29:01Hey John.
00:29:03This is Brian.
00:29:06I'm having a family emergency, so I'm just calling to let you know that I won't be into work for
00:29:12a couple days.
00:29:12So, probably see you next Monday.
00:29:15Bye.
00:29:46Bella died for 48 seconds.
00:29:50I have been dying ever since.
00:29:54As her heart slowed and stopped,
00:29:56I realized at that very moment something I should have always known.
00:30:02She loved me more than she loved herself.
00:30:12She loved her.
00:30:15She loved her.
00:30:23However, she loved her.
00:30:27She loved her.
00:30:30She loved her.
00:30:38My father loved her.
00:30:42This is her heart.
00:31:03I remember when I met your mother.
00:31:06She was beautiful.
00:31:10It's not that she's not beautiful.
00:31:12She's gorgeous.
00:31:15It's just...
00:31:18I'm used to her.
00:31:29It's like no matter how good I have it,
00:31:33it's no one's fault.
00:31:36I'm just fucked up.
00:32:02Yeah.
00:32:04This is Brian Sanders.
00:32:05I'll call to see how my wife's doing.
00:32:07What is her name, please?
00:32:09Bella Sanders.
00:32:25Your wife is in stable condition.
00:32:27She should be released sometime this evening or tomorrow morning.
00:32:32Okay.
00:32:58She's sleeping, Brian.
00:33:00Okay.
00:33:13She doesn't want to talk yet, Brian.
00:33:16I just want to make sure she's okay.
00:33:18I think it's going to be a long time before she's okay.
00:33:25I think it's going to be a long time before she's okay.
00:33:48Hello?
00:33:50Hi, Gary.
00:33:51Is Bella there?
00:33:52And we'll call you when she's ready.
00:33:55Hi.
00:34:26Brian, she's just not ready yet.
00:34:29Can I at least see the girls?
00:34:32Hold on.
00:34:37What time do you get off tomorrow?
00:34:40Whenever you want.
00:34:43Meet me at Owens Beach around 1.
00:34:46Thank you. Thank you so much.
00:34:49I'll see you tomorrow.
00:34:53I'll see you tomorrow.
00:34:56Alright.
00:35:08Hi.
00:35:12Oh.
00:35:14There you go. Hey.
00:35:15Daddy.
00:35:17Daddy, come play.
00:35:19How are you doing?
00:35:20Come on.
00:35:22Here you go. There's Daddy.
00:35:24There she is. Hi.
00:35:25Oh, look who's here to see you.
00:35:27Hi.
00:35:27Oh, I know.
00:35:29Here, come on.
00:35:31Here, who's excited?
00:35:33Okay.
00:35:34Get this up.
00:35:36I feel like a magician.
00:35:38Okay, you ready?
00:35:39I'll trade you.
00:35:40Okay.
00:35:41Hey.
00:35:43There she is.
00:35:46Come on.
00:35:48Come on.
00:35:49Hey.
00:35:52Hold on here.
00:35:55It's good to see you guys.
00:35:58Yeah.
00:36:00So.
00:36:02How have you been?
00:36:03Huh?
00:36:04Oh, she's been.
00:36:06How has she been?
00:36:07Oh.
00:36:09Oh, he's doing interesting things.
00:36:12Oh, yeah.
00:36:14Character.
00:36:15Come on.
00:36:16There you go.
00:36:18Yeah.
00:36:22Oh.
00:36:26Ready?
00:36:38There she is.
00:36:39Come on.
00:36:40Let's get out and see the day.
00:36:42Huh?
00:36:42Hi.
00:36:43There you go.
00:36:44Hi.
00:36:47There you are, gorgeous.
00:36:52Hi.
00:36:54Hi.
00:36:55Hi.
00:36:59Hi.
00:37:00Hi.
00:37:00Hi.
00:37:01Thank you so much for bringing the family.
00:37:02It's just the right thing to do.
00:37:07So how are you doing?
00:37:08Huh.
00:37:09I just wanna know if she's okay.
00:37:12She's really hurt, Brian, and I don't think she's gonna forgive you.
00:37:16Well, I can't even forgive myself.
00:37:18I know you love her, and she loves you.
00:37:20You've just made a mistake.
00:37:22She doesn't understand that you understand what you've done.
00:37:26She only knows she's hurting, and it's because of you.
00:37:33I...
00:37:34This is either gonna drive you farther apart or bring you closer together,
00:37:38but it's not your choice.
00:37:41It's her choice now.
00:37:43I know.
00:37:45You just have to give her time to decide.
00:37:48It's just hard not being able to see her or talk to her.
00:37:59Thanks for coming out today.
00:38:03It's the right thing to do.
00:38:19My mother has the gift of Catholic guilt, and my dad's gonna kick your ass if you've been calling.
00:38:24So how are you doing?
00:38:27If I see a therapist three times a week, the state won't take the kids. How are you?
00:38:32Well, it's over.
00:38:34I told her we're done.
00:38:35It's too late for that part.
00:38:37I know I messed up, and I can't go back.
00:38:42But I'm sorry.
00:38:44I'm so sorry.
00:38:47How could you do this to me?
00:38:49How?
00:38:50When I love you so much?
00:38:54I don't know.
00:38:55I love you so much, Brian.
00:39:05I want a divorce.
00:39:17I don't want to talk about it.
00:39:19I want a divorce.
00:39:20And I want the kids.
00:39:23And the house and the car.
00:39:26And you can keep the dog, okay?
00:39:30Take whatever you want.
00:39:33Could you be out by Friday?
00:39:35If we don't come home soon, Cole's gonna know something's wrong.
00:39:38Well, what are you gonna tell her when you come home and I'm not here?
00:39:42I'm gonna tell her the truth.
00:39:46Okay.
00:39:47She should know.
00:39:55I have to go.
00:39:58Take care of yourself, Brian.
00:39:59Yeah.
00:40:01I love you.
00:40:10Okay.
00:40:11I guess this is it for a while.
00:40:32I guess.
00:40:33He was very good.
00:40:34I huh!
00:40:53contemporamente, I'm sleeping.
00:40:53I'm so sorry.
00:40:55I have to go.
00:40:55He has some lucky ones.
00:40:55But then, I haven't found it anymore than me.
00:40:55girl head on the stairs.
00:40:58I'll never forget.
00:40:58I, I'll never want to park against the left.
00:41:04Hello.
00:41:04Hi. Where's Kim?
00:41:07Um, I've only been here for a week.
00:41:08I don't think I've met her yet.
00:41:10Alright, thanks.
00:41:11Oh, Mr. Jennings wanted to just stop by his office and we got it.
00:41:14Alright, thank you.
00:41:21I've known you for a long time.
00:41:23And I've never seen you like this.
00:41:26I'm sorry, John. I'm just having problems at home.
00:41:29You've missed
00:41:3143 days
00:41:32in the past 3 months.
00:41:34And when you do show up, you smell
00:41:36like alcohol.
00:41:39My wife and I are...
00:41:42I don't even know what we are.
00:41:43Which is why it hurts me to do this.
00:41:46But you're really not leaving me any choice.
00:41:50I understand.
00:41:52And I wish you the best.
00:41:54I really do.
00:41:56Thanks.
00:42:14What I didn't give away, I threw away.
00:42:18I threw it all away.
00:42:20As easily as one throws away the wrapping on a birthday present.
00:42:25I've always been too selfish to understand
00:42:28that it's the wrapping that makes it special.
00:42:31You're fired, he said.
00:42:33In so many words.
00:42:35You're fired from life.
00:42:37For you have failed everyone who has ever loved you.
00:42:41You have failed yourself.
00:42:44And no amount of sorry will make this better.
00:42:47No amount of forgiveness will make me worthy.
00:42:50I deserve the hurt I have caused.
00:42:53And in the end,
00:42:55the last thing I want
00:42:57is to feel better.
00:42:58In the end of the day.
00:43:27What does the matter work?
00:43:35Security.
00:43:38Excuse me, sir.
00:43:41We've had a few noise complaints.
00:43:44I had to top it off, your credit card is going to be closed.
00:43:47So we need to get your stuff out right now.
00:43:51Do you have a jacket you want to bring?
00:43:53That's your jacket.
00:43:55Is this the one?
00:43:57Yeah?
00:43:58Yes.
00:43:59Why don't you put that on?
00:44:01Alright, we've got to grab your stuff.
00:44:02What do you want to bring with you?
00:44:08There.
00:44:10Hold on to that.
00:44:13Hold on.
00:44:15Just get it.
00:44:16I don't know.
00:44:17Is that all you need?
00:44:18Alright, we're going to go.
00:44:25I don't need it.
00:44:30I don't know.
00:44:34It was good.
00:44:37It's been anision.
00:44:42constitute the landing volume of Civil War.
00:44:42I don't know why they have no...
00:44:44Do you have a deserted pose?
00:44:46Do you have a deserted pose?
00:44:53When you go how to merge with severalbares were and they not be found in an idea.
00:44:53Do you have any overload?
00:44:54I could never leave the outside Ondaatje instead.
00:44:54We're here.
00:45:24Oh, we're here.
00:45:32Oh, Hardee just moved to a new venue, that's all.
00:45:46Good morning.
00:45:57You know what?
00:46:00I love you, Reese.
00:46:03You know what else?
00:46:05You're too good for this.
00:46:08You want to go home?
00:46:10Come on.
00:46:12Off like a herd of turtles.
00:46:15Come on.
00:46:24I can't believe I let you talk me into this.
00:46:31Well, I know you've heard this story a million times.
00:46:38But if I don't keep talking, I can't keep walking.
00:46:43So, a million and one.
00:46:47What do you have to say about that, huh?
00:46:51Huh?
00:46:53That's what I thought.
00:46:57Anyway.
00:46:59We drove all day to get to where you were born.
00:47:02Have you ever seen your mother drive?
00:47:04Huh?
00:47:06She's beautiful.
00:47:08She's so serious.
00:47:13I always felt like I was on a mission to make her laugh.
00:47:18I like that feeling of trying to impress somebody.
00:47:22She made me feel that way all the time.
00:47:26Huh.
00:47:28And when she smiled,
00:47:30I swear there was heaven on her lips.
00:47:34But don't get any ideas.
00:47:37You're too young to start dating there, mister.
00:47:40You're too young for that.
00:47:41Yeah.
00:47:44Anyway.
00:47:46We get to the farm way out in the boonies.
00:47:52And I swear the place was odd.
00:47:55It was like a circus.
00:47:58There was kids on unicycles.
00:48:03Goats with eight horns.
00:48:06I think there was even a cat with wings.
00:48:10Woo-hoo-hoo!
00:48:13Thought you liked to play with that.
00:48:15Chase that around the yard all day, huh?
00:48:22And your mother, she had the best sense of style.
00:48:28She wore dresses from the 50s.
00:48:31And little things in her hair.
00:48:39She reminded me of Marilyn Monroe before, well, she was Marilyn Monroe.
00:48:50I think it was the way the wind whipped up her dress.
00:48:56It didn't matter where we went or what we did.
00:49:03I couldn't take my eyes off her.
00:49:09She glowed even when she slept.
00:49:15Have you ever seen The Lion King?
00:49:17Yeah.
00:49:19I have about 75 times.
00:49:21I have kids.
00:49:24Remember?
00:49:26Remember when James Earl Jones is holding up Simba?
00:49:35Well...
00:49:37That's how it was when I met you.
00:49:41Only...
00:49:43You weren't Simba.
00:49:48You...
00:49:51You were like a peanut butter cup.
00:49:59A fat...
00:50:01Chunky...
00:50:03Little peanut butter cup.
00:50:08That's how you got your name.
00:50:34Let's just do this tomorrow, buddy, okay?
00:50:38One more.
00:50:39I forgot you at this tomorrow, stay good.
00:50:46But now, if we'd finally come to the kitchen it was gonna make me look for real life.
00:50:50You still, if you are welcome.
00:50:50In all Armageddon in the palace.
00:51:01You wouldn't already know what to make me look for.
00:51:02You are me you, we are you.
00:51:03You are growing money you are, you are you?
00:54:36Hey, fuck off.
00:54:38Hey.
00:54:39Hey, what's your problem?
00:54:43I don't have a problem.
00:54:44You walk through here every day, where do you go?
00:54:46I don't know.
00:54:48I don't know.
00:54:48I guess I'm not going anywhere.
00:55:08I don't know.
00:55:19I gotta go.
00:55:21Where the fuck are you gonna go?
00:55:23You got a job interview or something?
00:55:26Oh, gonna be a big shot dental assistant?
00:55:29Yeah, fuck you, you drunk.
00:55:52You got a job interview or something?
00:55:53No, no, no, no, no.
00:55:55No, no, no, no, no.
00:56:10No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:56:17I have no idea what you do.
00:56:43The taste of used food subsides,
00:56:46as the flickering streetlights create a rhythmic dance of muted shadows.
00:56:51I stuff my coat with newspapers I will never read.
00:56:56The first night was cold,
00:56:59so was the second,
00:57:01and every night that followed.
00:57:04Memories will never keep you warm at night,
00:57:08but they will keep you up,
00:57:11even the good ones.
00:57:14Have you ever held someone so close
00:57:16that you forget which one you are?
00:57:19That you think it's your fingers moving,
00:57:22that it's there?
00:57:26That they finish your words?
00:57:35I can hear your heartbeat in your lips.
00:57:40I think it's your lips that make my heartbeat.
00:57:48Hey, so did you get that job?
00:57:53Jesus Christ, watching you is like watching some pathetic fucking dog shit himself.
00:57:58And then wipe his ass all over the ground and smear it in real good.
00:58:03What you need is an aspirin and a shower.
00:58:11Well, are you gonna sit down or what?
00:58:17What is your deal anyway?
00:58:19You ain't supposed to be here.
00:58:22Well, I used to have a wife and kids and a dog and a house.
00:58:28Jesus Christ, you are a dental assistant.
00:58:31Well, I was an architect.
00:58:34An architect?
00:58:36If you were an architect,
00:58:37you'd know how many floors there were between you and the ground.
00:58:44Let me tell you something, you piece of shit.
00:58:46I used to be a dental hygienist.
00:58:51Being a dental hygienist is a lot like being a shrink.
00:58:55Only most of my clients were numb.
00:58:57Kinda like you.
00:58:59Talk to me about being numb.
00:59:02You ever smoke crack?
00:59:06Smoking crack is kinda like waking up Frankenstein's monster.
00:59:10There's a big jolt of electricity.
00:59:12And then he just stumbles around all sad and lonely.
00:59:15So the town folk, they all get together and, you know, get their pitchforks
00:59:20and they run him out of town or kill him or...
00:59:23Fuck, I forget.
00:59:25Killed it.
00:59:27Killed it! Thank you very much.
00:59:30Anyway, my point is this.
00:59:32You walk around here like fucking Frankenstein's monster.
00:59:35And I see.
00:59:37I can tell you ain't supposed to be here.
00:59:39You're a fucking accident.
00:59:40So I look for my pitchfork.
00:59:43But then I realize I'm not a fucking farmer.
00:59:46What do I need a pitchfork for?
00:59:49But by the time I realize that, you're fucking gone.
00:59:54Just do yourself a favor.
00:59:57Go be an architect.
00:59:59Build yourself some big building that you don't want to jump off of.
01:00:03Or at least be a good drunk.
01:00:06You fucking piece of shit.
01:00:18Yeah.
01:00:19Go fuck yourself, Frankie the Park Fly.
01:00:21Why?
01:00:27Jesus, Paul, you're a fucking embarrassment.
01:01:14Do you mind if I sit and watch you paint?
01:01:17No. Not at all.
01:01:22This has always reminded me of something from a different life.
01:01:26A couple of months ago.
01:01:27Interesting how something so strong can also be so fragile.
01:01:32So are you in school?
01:01:34Third quarter freshman.
01:01:36Well, it's very beautiful.
01:01:40Do you paint?
01:01:42I always wanted to.
01:01:43I was told my wife I'd paint her, but I never did.
01:01:47You're married?
01:01:49No, I'm divorced.
01:01:50I'm sorry.
01:01:52It's okay. It's been a while now.
01:01:55How long?
01:01:57Going on three years.
01:01:59This is too bad.
01:02:02It's alright.
01:02:04Where are you from?
01:02:05I must have tourists written all over me.
01:02:09Well, that depends if you ask me to take your picture in front of the space nail or not.
01:02:15I'm from Portland.
01:02:17Really?
01:02:17Yeah.
01:02:18From Salem?
01:02:18Right on.
01:02:23Well, I should probably let you get back to your work.
01:02:26That's okay.
01:02:27You don't have to.
01:02:29Thanks, but I need to start looking for some dinner.
01:02:32But good luck to you.
01:02:34You too.
01:02:48You too.
01:03:04And you'd be fights.
01:03:08You're too.
01:03:10You're too.
01:03:10You are too.
01:03:17You are too.
01:03:17I love you.
01:03:49Hi.
01:03:50Hi.
01:03:51How are you?
01:03:52Just trying to get money to the other person's food.
01:03:55Do you have any spare change?
01:03:57I'm sorry, don't.
01:03:59It's okay.
01:04:01Thanks anyway.
01:04:02Have a good night.
01:04:03You too.
01:04:20So I don't give the homeless money, but I will help you help yourself.
01:04:24You don't have to do this.
01:04:26No, it's okay.
01:04:27I want to.
01:04:28See, you can paint pictures, and that way you don't have to beg.
01:04:33Can I hug you?
01:04:34What?
01:04:36Oh, you're one of the nicest people I've ever met.
01:04:40I hope you get everything you ever want from life.
01:04:44That you know what you have when you haven't.
01:04:57Hey.
01:04:59Hey!
01:05:01Here goes Frank, you're the architect.
01:05:05Fuck.
01:05:14You gonna come over and join me or what?
01:05:25What the fuck are you so happy about?
01:05:29Life goes on.
01:05:33It doesn't matter how much you push it, pull it, remember or forget.
01:05:38It's indifferent.
01:05:40It just goes on.
01:05:43And I think back to the little things, the things that matter most.
01:05:47The laughter.
01:05:50The wet laughter that hurts in the best way.
01:05:55Her lip-lock eyes across a crowded room.
01:06:00Philosophy over coffee.
01:06:04Explaining why the sky is blue to a child who thinks the world of you.
01:06:08So wide-eyed and full of possibilities.
01:06:12Endless possibilities.
01:06:15When the world was made of magic.
01:06:19Of course unicorns are real.
01:06:23As real as princesses.
01:06:26As real as Bigfoot.
01:06:28As real as you and me.
01:06:32Once when I was your age, I rode one.
01:06:35I rode one but the horn is very sharp.
01:06:40That's how I got these scars on my chin, you know?
01:06:46Fly.
01:06:50Fly.
01:06:52Fly.
01:06:54Fly.
01:06:55Fly as I sink.
01:06:56Fly.
01:07:00Fly.
01:07:07Fly.
01:07:08Fly.
01:07:12Fly.
01:07:22Let's do it.
01:07:57Take a walk with me
01:08:01And let's go find belief
01:08:06I want to see the stars again
01:08:10With the wonder that I had
01:08:13At the age of ten, alone
01:08:17She lost the magic in her eyes
01:08:22I could share the same self
01:08:28Not at all
01:08:34So now I walk alone
01:08:39Once again, I'm on my own
01:08:44She lost the magic she had for me
01:08:52Lost the magic, I'm not complete
01:08:58In each one of us, Peter Pan
01:09:03Elvis Presley, Superman
01:09:08In each one of us, Jacques Cousteau
01:09:13To marvel at the earth and the sea below
01:09:30In each one of us, Jacques Cousteau
01:09:46To marvel at the earth and the sea below
01:10:10Do you remember the first day we met?
01:10:18Let's go find belief
01:10:25Belief
01:10:26Belief
01:10:32I want to see the stars again
01:10:41The stars again
01:10:45With the wonder that I had
01:10:49At the age of ten
01:11:00I remember lying on your chest
01:11:03And talking for hours
01:11:11And then we remembered we were lying on the bathroom floor
01:11:15I just thought we had a shower again
01:11:30So I walk alone
01:11:36Once again
01:11:40I'm on my own
01:11:43She lost the magic
01:11:47She had for me
01:11:52In her eyes
01:11:57We no longer
01:12:01Share the sky
01:12:05Oh no
01:12:08Oh no
01:12:10Not at all
01:12:17Not at all
01:12:22Sometimes I can't help but wonder
01:12:25Maybe we forget each other
01:12:27Every time you look away
01:12:33I see
01:12:35You
01:12:37Beautiful
01:12:40In each one of us
01:12:43Peter Pan
01:12:47Elvis Presley
01:12:51Superman
01:12:54In each one of us
01:12:56Jacques Cousteau
01:13:00To marvel at the earth
01:13:03In the sea
01:13:06In the sea below
01:13:06Well I
01:13:08I just need someone
01:13:11Who understands
01:13:15The little boy
01:13:19Inside the man
01:13:22I just need someone
01:13:26Who understands
01:13:28Part of me lives
01:13:32In our dreamland
01:13:50I remember
01:13:53I remember
01:13:54She thought
01:13:57But I can't forget
01:14:00Once you asked me
01:14:01If I had ever stood naked
01:14:03In front of anyone
01:14:05Alone
01:14:05And out of reach
01:14:08I took off my clothes
01:14:09And backed away from you
01:14:11You simply asked me
01:14:12My middle name
01:14:13And told me to put
01:14:14My clothes back on
01:14:18I am standing
01:14:19Naked and raw
01:14:20For you now
01:14:21Bella
01:14:22Not to beg forgiveness
01:14:25But to beg that you
01:14:26Find happiness
01:14:28The kind of happiness
01:14:29I could never give you
01:14:32And if you should see
01:14:33The unrecognizable me
01:14:35On the street
01:14:37Don't look down
01:14:39Don't look back
01:14:42And I will grant you
01:14:43The same respect
01:14:47Ain't you guys got a home
01:14:49To go to
01:14:49Yeah
01:14:51I was thinking about
01:14:52Maybe getting a wife
01:14:53Shitting out some kids
01:14:56Being an architect
01:14:58You'll marry me
01:14:59Shut up you fucking drunk
01:15:03Do you ever leave the bench
01:15:07What do they decorate you guys
01:15:09At Christmas time
01:15:13Yes
01:15:14No
01:15:17Okay
01:15:17Well I'm gonna go get
01:15:18A cup of coffee
01:15:19If you want to join me
01:15:27Come on sweetheart
01:15:29Daddy wants some breakfast
01:15:32Lupe
01:16:02I'm gonna go get
01:16:02I'm gonna go get
01:16:08I'm gonna go get
01:16:08We're back
01:16:09We're back
01:16:09We're back
01:16:10We're back
01:16:10We're back
01:16:10Can you bear
01:16:11Back
01:16:12No
01:16:13No
01:16:13This is
01:16:13I was made
01:16:14I don't care
01:16:16That's all
01:16:16I don't see
01:16:16It's not
01:16:17I don't see
01:16:18She is
01:16:18I have more range
01:16:21I don't know
01:16:23I just miss
01:16:24You know
01:16:24Whatever
01:16:25Whatever
01:16:42If there was one thing you could change about your life, what would it be?
01:16:47One thing is all I get?
01:16:50If one is all I get, I don't want to play this.
01:16:54Pussy.
01:16:56I want to be President of the United States.
01:16:58That's right.
01:17:00That way I can declare a state of anarchy.
01:17:05I want to be a movie star.
01:17:07A big fucking movie star.
01:17:10Live in a big fucking house.
01:17:13Make big fucking movies.
01:17:17I want to be the love child to sit vicious in Molly Ringwald.
01:17:25I want to sit up all night in an all night diner and order nothing.
01:17:32I want to be God for the sole purpose of saying, I brought you into this world, don't think for
01:17:37one minute I won't take you out.
01:17:41I want the original promise.
01:17:44I want justice for all.
01:17:47I want love, hate, ups and downs and everything in between.
01:17:58I want the world in my palm, no cooler than 60 degrees, no warmer than 75, and never a cloud
01:18:08in the sky.
01:18:11I want the perfect kiss, the perfect imperfection, the perfect life.
01:18:21But more than anything, I want someone who wants what I want, and I want her to walk through that
01:18:28door right over there, and order biscuits and gravy.
01:18:34You're a pathetic fuck.
01:18:39Thanks.
01:18:40Not you, him.
01:18:43Jesus, that was beautiful.
01:19:03Jesus, didn't separate you, I didn't have other people in the sky inside.
01:19:07Jesus, is your Rudolph YouTuber in the sky.
01:19:09Jesus, you're not good.
01:19:25Jesus, you're not bad.
01:20:59What is left of you
01:21:08From this rendezvous
01:21:22Contentment fades away
01:21:30Into the grave
01:21:35And the ghost of you
01:21:40Well, it hides away
01:21:44Where's it going to
01:21:54And the way you were
01:21:57Lives in shadows now
01:22:03And becomes a blur
01:22:08And nothing can touch the moment
01:22:13It's all yours now
01:22:16You own it
01:22:18Nothing, no, not even reason
01:22:22Can touch the season
01:22:24That you're in
01:22:26That you're in
01:22:30You lean to kissing
01:22:36Well, it fades away
01:22:39But then you're missing
01:22:46You're so close
01:22:49But through the years
01:22:51In circles again
01:22:53With burdens and fears
01:22:56Oh, now you are swimming
01:22:59In tears of sorrow
01:23:05Oh, oh, oh
01:23:13Contentment fades away
01:23:21Into the grave
01:23:23Into the grave
01:23:25And the ghost of you
01:23:30Well, it hides away
01:23:34Well, it hides away
01:23:35Where's it going to
01:23:44And the way you were
01:23:48Lives in shadows now
01:23:52And becomes the blur
01:23:59Nothing can touch the moment
01:24:03It's all yours now
01:24:06You own it
01:24:08Nothing, no, not even reason
01:24:12Can touch the season
01:24:15That you're in
01:24:18Nothing can touch the moment
01:24:22It's all yours now
01:24:25You own it
01:24:28Nothing, no, not even reason
01:24:31Can touch the season
01:24:34That you're in
01:24:36That you're in
01:24:39La-la-da-da
01:24:40That you're in
01:24:43La-la-da-da
01:24:45That you're in
01:24:48La-la-da-da
01:24:50That you're in
01:24:52La-la-da-da
01:24:54That you're in
01:24:57La-la-da-da-da
01:25:00That you're in
01:25:02La-la-da-da-da-da
01:25:08Amen.
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