- 11 hours ago
Gogglebox - Season 27 - Episode 07
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00:00Ta-da!
00:03Are you ready for Puddy's Day?
00:05Yeah!
00:06Shh! Gitchy!
00:11Where's yours?
00:12You look like a leprechaun drag queen.
00:14Where's yours?
00:16Man, I'm ready!
00:17Where is it?
00:18Yeah, I'm ready!
00:21Oh, you said you was getting dressed up!
00:24I am!
00:26I didn't know you'd go that far!
00:34Oh, Barcelona!
00:34Have you ever done how like that?
00:36Well, I ain't telling you what they had!
00:40Oh, Barcelona!
00:43No, I don't like that this guy's trying to tell me how to eat my dinner.
00:46A what?
00:47Food fetish!
00:48I had no idea that was a thing!
00:50Remove my britches.
00:51Expose your loins.
00:52I like that.
00:56Oh, Ronnie!
00:57This is weird.
00:58Gee, he's a mercenary bugger, isn't he?
01:00This is why I don't date.
01:01That is Dyson with the devil.
01:03Oh, no!
01:04He suffers for his art, doesn't he?
01:06Clearly.
01:06A Bentley Continental!
01:08I think I'd rather call it a day, Natalie, wouldn't you?
01:11Who's been arrested now, and for what?
01:15In the week Jessie Buckley became the first Irish woman ever to win Best Actress at the Oscars, we enjoyed
01:23lots of great telly.
01:25There was a must-see BAFTA winner on Netflix.
01:28I've seen quite a few youngsters for this job.
01:31Aye.
01:31And I don't think I'm breaking any confidentiality when I tell you that that is the best cup of tea
01:37yet.
01:38Great.
01:39It means something when someone you respect tells you that you make good tea.
01:43Dad's never said it to us, has he?
01:44Has he ever said it to you?
01:45Once or twice, yeah.
01:46When?
01:47No, he hasn't.
01:49I've written it down in my diary.
01:51What did you say?
01:52Once or twice?
01:53Yeah.
01:53Well, that's more than the number of times you made me a tea.
01:56Mrs. Trump had her own show on Prime Video.
02:00If we go out, I think people will already know where we would go out, so.
02:04I do like her smokey eye, don't you think?
02:09I might try and read that, look.
02:11He'll see me.
02:15I might try it out, you know, on a night owl or two.
02:18And then when people ask me, ooh, that looks nice.
02:21Where did you get this one from, Melania?
02:23First lady.
02:25And there was some straight talking down under on E4.
02:29Um, so one thing I asked the experts for but didn't get is Bradley Cooper.
02:35Clearly doesn't fit her profile, does it?
02:38I mean, when I married you, Steve, I thought you looked like Brian Ferry,
02:42but now you look like Danny DeVito, so people change, don't they?
02:48Sorry?
02:50They change.
02:52Who will I look like now?
02:54Danny DeVito.
02:56Danny DeVito.
02:56I married Brian Ferry.
02:58What happened?
03:06In Wiltshire.
03:07On the mainland, we drink out of cups and saucers, not jugs, Mary.
03:11Yes, there's no mugs or cups in the kitchen.
03:14You're obviously relapsing into your northern Irish habits.
03:18I have to drink out of this because you have taken all the cups and mugs…
03:22Is that…
03:22Is that…
03:22…into the garden.
03:23Giles and his wife, Mary.
03:26So I'm just going to have to keep drinking out of jugs until all the jugs have gone into the
03:31garden as well.
03:32And what will I be left with?
03:34Saucepans.
03:35I'll be drinking out of saucepans next.
03:36No, Mary.
03:38We don't want you relapsing into barbarism.
03:41What do you mean, relapsing into barbarism?
03:45What are you talking about?
03:46Well, you've come such a long way since you've moved to the mainland.
03:51On Saturday night, Graham Norton had us all in a spin again on ITV.
03:56My favourite type of wheel is my car steering wheel with that lovely diamond-y cover on.
04:02Horrible, that.
04:05The worst thing I've ever seen.
04:06Are you doing your newspaper quizzes every day to keep your brain in gear?
04:09I do the easy crossword and all the little puzzles.
04:12How well done, you?
04:13Except the cryptic.
04:14I can't do the cryptic because I simply don't know what they're talking about.
04:20Wheel of Fortune!
04:24Oh, stop it, there's no need for that.
04:25Let's start winning with three quick-fire puzzles.
04:28You got your buzzers there?
04:30All right.
04:30Right, okay, I'm ready.
04:31I'm ready.
04:32The clue for all three of these is curious collectives.
04:36Curious collectives.
04:38I'm lost with the clue.
04:39This one is worth ÂŁ500.
04:42Er, a?
04:43Yes.
04:45Of.
04:45A something of.
04:49A prickle of?
04:51A prickle of what?
04:52A prickle of…
04:53A prickle of of...
04:55A prickle of...
04:55Juleps!
04:57A prickle of fuck ups!
04:59No.
05:00Hedgehogs.
05:01No.
05:02Porcupines!
05:03Porcupines!
05:04And it's Daniel.
05:05A prickle of porcupines?
05:08He's only got a tin…
05:19a something of something ah where's ah where are you getting this is the first
05:24letter i think everything starts with ah is it true
05:29something goes flamingos there's got a mingles
05:35uh a boy zone no this is well hard a flamboyant of a flamingos daniel a flamboyance of flamingos
05:47a flamboy oh it's all left isn't it celebrity second jobs
05:57can i do my no no no
06:01lighthouse keeper billy piper no you can see it um who could be a lighthouse keeper um
06:10dualipa lighthouse keeper daniel and it's daniel again daniel can you just give the others a
06:16chance please dualipa lighthouse keeper wow oh my god no one's ever gonna get that i got it i got
06:24it did you see me get that then i don't think you will either has a lighthouse she must be
06:29that must
06:29be what she does in her spare time second job like surely not this is a very special skill you
06:34have
06:34daniel this guy must be an expert in this random game that no one can figure out yeah you've got
06:41to
06:41level the playing field take daniel's glasses off him or something let's go for our third and final
06:47toss-up third and finals who's gonna solve it celebrity second jobs celine dion celine dion
06:55why do you keep following me everything can't say it you're like a parrot yo
07:02traffic warden uh something dordan traffic warden traffic warden traffic warden what's the name though
07:12gordon something gordon who gordon which gordon james corden james corden james corden
07:21traffic warden traffic warden do you mind not sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry stupid girl
07:28and it's nicole oh look nicole yes james corden traffic warden who no oh my god then you know who's
07:38gonna come in and nick it daniel james corden traffic warden yes oh they should have let her have it
07:47married no she got it wrong oh you was nearly there nicole you give him well at least the buzzer's
07:52working yeah yeah in kaffili ah so do you fancy your idea of uh going to paris for your birthday
08:02or no
08:03well i don't mind france paris is in france i thought it was two different places dave and his wife
08:10shirley but paris is the capital of france oh i didn't know how long have you been under this
08:17well i always thought you know the what's that leaning tower of pizza in it that's in uh paris
08:26isn't it that's in italy and rome is it yeah oh no i mean yeah geographically
08:32you i mean the other building not the eiffel oh the eiffel tower the blackpool tower no the eiffel
08:42eiffel tower the eiffel yeah it's the eiffel tower oh right god i don't know where the hell i am
08:50on wednesday night the latest bunch of math's newlyweds were moving in together on e4
08:56i remember your wedding now she and what what do you mean my wedding sorry i remember our wedding
09:01and i remember what the most thing that your mother was so proud of was the amount of um vol
09:07au vent and small sausage rolls start this again and trifle mary
09:15she's produced several trifles i remember your mother coming with uh wearing a nylon bikini to the
09:22wedding no no that's not correct well exactly neither did my mother serve trifles and follow
09:27but if my memory serves me well it doesn't
09:34i asked that other day when we're gonna get married and he said we're not
09:37so i says well what about inheritance tax and he says well there's ways and means
09:42what a way to woo a guy let's talk about when one of us dies
09:47whoo let's get married i'm clutching at straws here
09:54mel and luke darling i know these two have got off on the wrong foot so far
10:06oh this looks fun doesn't it they don't seem happy do they
10:16it's just awkward and frosty man why are they not talking to each other i'm feeling quite flat
10:21because obviously the situation with mel and i isn't great we can see that really you don't have
10:27to tell us bloody hell it definitely feels like a little bit uncomfortable he makes me look
10:32excitable stop it feels like pretty awkward to be honest yeah welcome to marriage that's a nice
10:40little area yeah and it's got a coffee machine which is great well you can't have a relationship
10:47without a coffee machine can you no you're not very nice yeah and a microwave oh yeah let's just
10:56point everything around the room yeah and it's got a window oh my god it's got a door a bed
11:01it's
11:01got a bit yeah the photo ranking task returns in revelations week oh god this is the worst one
11:08isn't it brutal you're an absolute dick if you don't put your weight first exactly i mean absolutely
11:13couldn't be clearer i feel like this is really hard challenge to do like they're all all the girls
11:19are pretty yeah yeah god please just please just get it right that's the shag pile there and that's
11:26to avoid just a picture of it and then pop you right here ah no number one nailed it this
11:38is a
11:38truthful experiment this is a truthful task pride myself in being honest throughout this whole experiment
11:43oh she's gonna be brutally honest summit tells me she ain't gonna put him first we've got scott here
11:52and then grace in here tell you what they've all got turkey teeth aren't they oh oh look at you
11:59and then you got you here
12:06where's she gonna put him now tom i'm a little bit nervous simon physically like you do like some sort
12:12of like great god oh no i feel about coming on that so i've put you just here next to
12:17great close
12:18second though oh oh that's not bad considering they're not getting on that's terrible it's not
12:26bad mum if a man did that to me you would be fuming that that just knocks me down even
12:32further to be
12:33honest oh luke have i done anything to make you feel underconfident well it's a bit late now mary oh
12:42uh i might you might have asked that question 60 years ago
12:50oh no it's another task we've crafted a series of prompts for you to answer oh god
12:58the most shocking thing i did after a breakup was get in the car with my friends and drive past
13:04his house multiple times during the night time to make sure he was home what the hell oh i've been
13:09there done that that's normal that's not weird i would probably do that as well yeah i think that's
13:15okay in this sense i'm gonna say oh dear me and if his car was there it meant that he
13:21was home
13:23so night made oh my god the red flags are waving wildly at him
13:41right
13:45what do you even say to that what do you say to that what the hell luke has decided that
13:51he might
13:51need some space i'm not surprised run luke run you see me and page we were not like this at
14:01the
14:01beginning but similar you know page moved up north to go to uni early doors you know within three months
14:07of us being together didn't like it and then went back down south the only problem was that while the
14:13absence makes the heart grow fonder it cost me a fortune in days we'll see i wouldn't see it but
14:18you won't hear your moaning about it no never mention it never see that money again but it's
14:25worth it i've got my children now haven't i and your wife i'm the wife obviously
14:38in blackpool paige and eva went out to dancing this morning yeah and i was having a chat with jimmy
14:44because it's mother's day isn't it tomorrow oh yes it is have you got her a card for kids no
14:48i thought you were picking me one up no picture card for our mum pete and his little sister sophie
14:55fucking hell you leave me in the shit you sometimes listen in case you haven't noticed i don't have a
15:03wife and kids it's not my remit no but you have a brother who's shite with stuff like this but
15:10i've
15:10sorted out for our mum and nan yeah but also sort out for my children's mum this week we were
15:18game for
15:19a laugh again on prime video la last one laughing new series new comedians
15:27the time i laugh most heartily is that
15:30come on what do i laugh most heartily at my own jokes oh yes your own jokes or if someone
15:39else
15:40repeats your own joke and then you interrupt them yes you do for the next six hours 10 comedians will
15:47be locked in here trying to make each other laugh whilst trying not to laugh themselves i know for a
15:52fact i'd be hopeless yeah you know i'd be first out actually we might be all right at this game
15:59because we would just get have such bad verbal diarrhea that no one could say anything to us
16:04that's true just don't let anyone else speak yeah talk at the constant dribble barrage
16:09you were going to love this roisin the defending champion is going back in it's bob mortimer oh you
16:15idiot use your favorite love nobody sends a chance for bob martimer oh no no no no
16:24look at you oh god i got no chance bob as our reigning champion do you have any tips for
16:30your
16:30fellow players yeah get a safety face safety face a safety face safety face i'm gonna go
16:38oh somebody said i've got a resting face and i don't know what they're on about yeah i do right
16:46time to start the game last one laughing wins oh no right we're in nobody laughs oh no no no
16:57no
16:57look look see i would be out already you're out can i join you um may i oh yes say
17:05no i'd go like ah no
17:09get away yes you may you're not sure are you well it's just because you are uh you're a dangerous
17:15bloke jack man i'd say go sit with somebody else fuck off bob i once woke up and um there
17:21was a
17:22a shit on me windowsill oh see toilet humor just makes me laugh yeah that would be me gone proper
17:33like a human shirt yeah well i think it would come from me what do you say to that
17:43okay oh romesh is in trouble is he gonna get romesh now
17:49oh oh he got himself well that was horrible bob thank you
17:56there have him nearly gone bob have had to move away mate yeah
17:59because i think bob is on the beach and uh going a bit dead what's your favorite bank that you
18:04don't
18:04have an account with it santander because of the bikes because of ant and deck oh look he's going for
18:10bob don't get caught up in bob mortimer have you met them much i've lifted up and he's a stupid
18:18twiney really yeah when they were going to a tough their fellow years no physically okay lifted them
18:26he's not talking about lifting little people can i lift you you can give it a go
18:34i mean that would be surreal isn't it see someone just lift up bob mortimer
18:41oh it did
18:50alan he's going he's going was alan laughing he was smiling
18:55jim okay that was definitely a laugh
18:59oh what's that mean someone laughed who laughed who was it is that alan were it bob did bob laugh
19:05when sam picked him up let's have a look at the replay let's have a look who is it you
19:10can give it
19:10a go whoa oh it's him oh it's bob oh he's got him he got him do you remember that
19:21time when we got
19:22on when we was in egypt on that cruise i can't because i can't even look at you now when
19:26you're
19:26talking about it i just didn't look at you that night and it was a day time wasn't it daytime
19:32and
19:33we had to get on i was getting on that felucca yeah in egypt and this woman got on with
19:37the
19:37sunglasses and an head scarf and she like slits and the wig fell off and landed in the nile floated
19:46down the down and i knew i just turned away because i thought i can't i can't look at you
19:53because because it's people you will laugh at people's downfalls i did here with there's other
19:58freaking wig flying down the river
20:04in north london amira i have to show you this oh is that you that fit but i'm not feeling
20:10it so i need
20:11to get your opinion on it let's see let's see sisters amira and amani what the hell is that
20:21oh my god it looks like you walked into a rainforest and they bedazzled you
20:26i don't even know what to make of it it's not it it's actually it looks cheap as well money
20:31how much
20:33was it like a pound how much was it this was i think i spent 80 pounds on it 80
20:40pounds it comes
20:41because it comes with a dress to go underneath and it comes with a headscarf as well so it's a
20:46three
20:47piece set oh wow the whole shebang yeah this week it was a true story turned into a movie that
20:53had us
20:54gripped on netflix i can't wait for this i swear i know you do no you're always the film i
21:00swear you see
21:01i've seen documentaries with john davidson in we like him don't we yeah he's a very interesting
21:06man it must be quite difficult living with tourettes yeah hey bro we've been there julie i was gonna
21:17say about that scotland yeah he's got us john i can't do it though can we not just pick up
21:21another
21:21time we could deliver it to my house john it's an mbe not a pizza oh my god the mbe
21:27always getting an
21:28award oh he'll be getting off the the queen or somebody like that john i'll embarrass myself
21:33don't you'll see something regret he's trying to leave he doesn't trust himself to not say anything
21:38or be embarrassed oh oh it's a queen oh oh
21:45oh look you can see the ticks come in i mean that would be stressful and daunting for anyone walking
21:54in there let alone if you've got to rest exactly
22:03oh my god oh my oh bless him oh i didn't mean it he didn't mean it he can't help
22:10it
22:14that is one way to make an entrance isn't it am i allowed to laugh at this simon or is
22:20that
22:20disrespectful there there are times it is genuinely funny okay you can tell there's
22:25other times where it's really quite distressing so we try and navigate but yeah sometimes it's genuinely
22:31funny hey oh have we gone back in time well it must be when he's younger isn't he growing up
22:39yeah maybe get some oxy cubes as well john is that for stew it's true how's she telling him to
22:45stop it
22:46as well that's what i'm saying you know back then it's like it was a lack of understanding it was
22:50a very very strong lack of understanding johnny d jesus how you doing oh here's his mate murray
22:58oh look at him they're pleased to see each other fancy we drink or something john have a wee catch
23:02-up
23:02no he can't drink murray he's on medication yeah we can go for a coke or something we could maybe
23:08just
23:08go for a walk or something yeah that'd be good no we aren't going for one of them john
23:14i've seen each other for a while good way to catch up see when we get in there john
23:20could you just relax and don't do anything weird please i won't oh the boys are on the town
23:24how's this gonna go first night out it goes one way or another doesn't it
23:36this is perfect place for him though isn't it because it's quite loud hairy yeah
23:43oh john's vibes enough
23:49he's a smooth operator my son tell you what he's not backwards and coming forwards is that
23:55isn't there what yeah
23:59oh she's feeling him someone's getting the eye giving the eye yes
24:06oh oh dear that was a tick that was a tick right
24:10sorry pal oh no oh god fisticuffs now
24:18oh that wasn't john's fault that must be difficult though we can't control it that kid don't know it
24:24does he he doesn't know he thinks he's picked a fight yeah a bit later murray's mum had lined up
24:30an
24:30interview for john tell me at the community center's looking for an assistant they're interviewing next
24:36week he needs somebody to believe in him she believes in him don't she for a job as a caretaker
24:41oh hey john all right nice to be here how are you doing okay good i don't he's told me
24:45a lot about
24:45you good right oh dear oh dear john right on his face as well hi i i didn't just get
24:53that note about
24:54the blue roll yeah no worries yeah anyway he's just not taking notice of what he's doing so the caretaker
25:00knows he's got yeah he knows he's got to that yeah but he's not making it an issue no is
25:05he hey i'll
25:06give you a rundown of the place give me a cork in my hand of all the things they say
25:12what the hell
25:14i'd be like what pardon i mean we all think it but we don't say it so now we get
25:21to the most
25:22important part of the interview john bum sex oh man the thing is you don't know whether it's funny
25:30but you feel bad for laughing because you know he doesn't mean it but i'm not laughing at you
25:36and that is can you make a decent cup of tea he's a good guy isn't he tommy
25:42he's just taking no offense from it at all there you go tommy
25:50did he just spit in his brew i'm really sorry i'll take that one bye all right it's a good
25:56idea yeah
25:57good idea yeah yeah i don't think this interview was going very well is it really bless him are you
26:03okay with the texan this wheeling
26:06what texan what's around oh
26:19oh no don't i'm gonna cry i literally love this man
26:24so i spend half my life training people to react like tommy yes because half the people don't
26:31they can't they don't know what to do tommy's just got it
26:42in sorry i've succumbed simon
26:47to a water bottle simon and his sister jane how many of those do you get through a day
26:54well i'm just aiming for one at the moment okay so that would be a liter of water oh it's
27:00definitely
27:00good isn't it they say two a day don't they what two liters a day something like that okay i'm
27:06gonna
27:06see how what effect it has on my having to stop and do a wee all the time yeah yeah
27:11but i feel it's a
27:13positive thing
27:20right i'm right in with the in crowd simon it's like sitting next to an athlete
27:26olympic games on friday there were more things to think about over breakfast on the bbc
27:40that's what it actually sounds like that's what it sounds like around half of us now choose
27:45restaurants based on social media recommendations all the time yeah how else are we choosing
27:51restaurants if i haven't seen it on tick tock i'm not going so-called content creators might be
27:57replacing traditional food critics i've never ever paid attention to traditional food critics so
28:03i'm all for the influencers because i'm all over social medias if you're lucky enough to go out
28:08for a restaurant meal these days chances are you've seen diners sort of snapping pics of their dishes
28:13before they tuck in i can be guilty of that oh if i see a big if i've ordered a
28:17big whopping burger
28:19and it comes out i'm taking a picture of it late so i can send it to everyone saying look
28:24at this beast
28:24i've just took on hands up i am guilty this i'm always looking at food blogs i can't help it
28:32i like to look at the food i like to look at them eating it i like i like i
28:36like it i like food well
28:38research suggests almost half of us now pick where we dine out based on posts we've seen on instagram
28:44tick tock youtube oh this doesn't affect me nothing nor me um so this must be young people and a
28:50whopping
28:5185 percent of hospitality venues say they've got more people coming through the doors thanks to so-called
28:57content creators well that's surely a good thing if it gets more footfall and more covers mary look
29:05covers then i think it's good for them imagine if someone in the restaurant you're at started
29:11setting up all of this equipment
29:16fucking ring light surely not my friends do that whenever we go out they get out the light and
29:20everything i'm like guys i just want to eat seriously yeah i'm going to go next level when
29:25i go to next restaurant i'm going to stand on the table and like it's the dining debate dividing
29:32catering bosses in the red corner famously fiery celeb chef gordon ramsay they're very powerful and
29:41they don't take six weeks to fill a restaurant gordon did an influencer evening i think in his
29:46new restaurant in the sky but that's what it should be get the influencers out the way early
29:51doors so then they're not ruining our experiences but not everyone agrees legendary restaurateur and
29:57co-founder of the ivy jeremy king oh look at him oh isn't he splendid oh you've been to the
30:05ivy i have it was lovely i've even had one influencer couple turn up and get outraged that um they
30:13couldn't just set up a tripod and start taking shots yeah but it's not a studio it's a restaurant
30:18isn't it and in the ivy as well and when i went in it was lovely oh all right jenny
30:23you said all
30:23right that's why she said you've been to the ivy it won't rammed full and it was lovely all right
30:28we know you've been to the ivy ambience oh all right and the ivy in leeds i went to margaret's
30:40last
30:41night and when i got there she said she's been death cleaning she's been prepping for death for a
30:47long time as margaret this isn't margaret's first death clean sisters ellie and izzy a food mixer
30:54she's binned that she gave me a full bottle of unopened bailey's that she got for her birthday
31:01and i got this bowl and a glass plate i don't know why it's wrapped in a hood why is
31:08it wrapped in a hood
31:09i've no idea it's wrapped in a hood and then she's texted me as well another glass plate
31:16and a quiche dish she said asked me if i want them but she did have a glass cake stand
31:23that she
31:23wouldn't part with oh and barry were having a go i want the glass cake stand he was saying let
31:28her
31:28have it let her have it you never use it she was going no too many memories too many memories
31:32on tuesday night our favorite mountain base game show continued on itv every summit final oh here we
31:42are shirl after a long wait the finals of the summit i can't wait who will reach the summit
31:54what do you think is the point of a program like this don't think about it too hard that it
32:00okay
32:02oh my god look how big that caress is
32:07oh no no oh i wouldn't fancy that oh look at that how would you get across there this deep
32:13ice crevasse
32:15stands between you and the summit and that's the way they're going across oh my god what with that
32:21old ladder no thank you no next up is true come on drew oh is this a chap who's got
32:29a missing limb
32:30the amputee yeah i've had really good balance throughout my life because i've had to adapt and
32:35overcome i don't know if you said i've had really good possible oh yes didn't make any fuss about it
32:47he just went for it didn't he oh yes he did it very quickly well done well done yes with
32:53drew having
32:53made it look easy the pressure is on for dockers who is last to cross i wouldn't have a problem
32:59if
32:59dockers you're not a fan then no no were dockers the knobhead dockers was the knobhead how's the
33:05knobhead got so far he's coming in and out of being a knobhead he's been on a bit of a
33:09journey
33:09it's an easy little ladder you only go put one foot in front of the other
33:13look at him he's full of bs this guy come on dock yes whoa look he's he's like oh
33:25but unfortunately for dockers the mountains keeper has arrived oh oh oh here we go
33:31oh here he comes the old helicopters come in the mountains keeper you're flying right by him
33:37oh that's that's an awful young man that's a bit mean isn't it yes i ain't got a balance
33:51oh oh there he goes
33:58he's gone he's gone yes dockers
34:07help help what's happening nobody's running out to have a look and see how he is
34:14they're really not that bothered are they
34:17fucking hell oh he's dangling he's really mugged himself off doing that hasn't he
34:22shut up that's brutal oh he's coming back up you're taking that off to him
34:27yeah you won't give up well you still got to get across mind
34:30yes no good oh he's running for it he's running he's not hanging about
34:37he's gonna do it now he's gonna do it
34:44well done mate well done mate well done mate
34:48i don't know anybody i know who would like to do that
34:51do you know anybody who'd like to do that
34:54my brother apart from your brother yes well he'd been up everest hasn't you
35:07in blackpool oh colin right he goes for his haircut around the corner from our house don't he
35:11apparently what's happened is she's got like this low-level treat tray anyway oh colin's had one of
35:18the treats only it's three for a fiver like well we've not authorized the street pete and his
35:25little sister sophie but page is non-confrontational you see so she went all right well we'll pick
35:31and have a two then i'll have a tally's worth so she's then that's how we've ended up with the
35:37cows here in me
35:38bed oh well i wouldn't mind but it's 42 quid to get his hair cut anyway 42 quid i'm sure
35:43it is
35:44that's with a hot foam shampoo and a turtle access
35:49this week we were down with the kids again for the big return of borders on the bbc i went
35:55to board
35:56when i was six years old that's how much your mother dislikes you exactly i mean it was cruel
36:00have you considered a boring school for jimmy and eva um while they do do my head in it would
36:06be nice to get rid of them sometimes it would not be financially viable for me to do that
36:16it's a bit creepy isn't it oops this what's happening here someone's breaking in
36:23the hen house is that pink is empty what the hen house is empty
36:31oh my god it's a gang gang of pigs
36:38oh bloody hell what are they doing this is sacrilegious
36:48oh they're making a right mess here aren't they
36:51what's them pigs what the hell
36:55muslims what's not
37:03what are we at dancing i mean the best that ever happened at my school
37:08was a very very rich kid managed to get a helicopter pay for it and they put the headmaster's
37:17car on top of the chapel oh hell that's quite great that's quite good the headmaster came out in
37:22the morning where's my car and it was on top of the chapel
37:31that's saint jisbert
37:34what the actual
37:36fuck yeah what happened breaking a break in
37:41they're on the ball aren't they everyone's saying it was an inside job
37:44inside job what really inside job well they had keys to open it didn't they oh look at this
37:53hushwankers i wonder if they've pinched the pigs from the farm
37:56what farm just any farm i feel sorry for the pigs is this real
38:01no abs a bit later with saint gilbert's on lockdown we saw toby hatching a plan to break out and
38:08see his
38:13girlfriend what are you the boogeyman oh what now how are we breaking out oh she was in cory i
38:19know
38:19you figured out a way to sneak out after hours to visit abby she was married to tyrone okay well
38:25you
38:25heard carol when i locked down hmm gotta stick to the rules hey we give me that back what is
38:33that
38:33oh what's in the parcel what's the bolt cutters for we got bolt cutters for is he really looking to
38:40sneak out for real or in the fence i feel like watching like a kid's great escape so desperate
38:45to break out for anyway we want revenge on carlwell college it was them who tried to score
38:51gosh she's a right sherlock isn't she she thinks that it's cold world college i think
38:55she wants to go out and fuck their sight up yeah the sign
39:06the board cutters are out it's 10 o'clock it's time to go
39:13i love that he's got two flashlights two flashlights we're pretending to be lightsabers yeah
39:22oh toby's good doing a mountain didn't it
39:28what are you gonna do tobes he's going he wants a shag simon
39:34studying hard that's what i like to see you studying hard you're doing science because i remember
39:39that book now i know you would have missed that shot
39:44this is like romeo and juliet throwing little stones at the window
39:50hey let me in
39:54what happened to hi hello like they ain't got much time bro they're sneaking around
40:02hey dad is in the next room and the rooms are like paper listen right what do you want to
40:07go in the garage
40:13oh
40:13oh you'd at least get on floor yeah hold on to the bed board so it doesn't squeak come on
40:21kids
40:25fuck my dad hide hide under bed here you go
40:34what's to be found there though he's gone he can come out
40:46oh
40:47oh no it was there
40:51Did you trash my school?
40:53Did you trash my school?
40:54No shit, Sherlock.
40:57About sleeping with the enemy, eh?
40:59Yeah. Jeez!
41:01They're all bloody sex mad at 16.
41:03When I was 16, me and Becky Fish used to...
41:08She had one of those beds that was for, like, old people
41:10that would, like, move up and down.
41:13So we just used to play on that,
41:14listening to her Black Eyed Peas on her iPad.
41:16None of this shit.
41:20Do you want a glass of wine, Jenny?
41:22Oh, go on, then. Yes, I will. Thank you.
41:24Best friends, Jenny and Lee.
41:26Do you know, Sam, I was talking to Steve the other day on the phone.
41:29Yeah.
41:30He was saying to me, he went,
41:32what you drinking?
41:33And I went, what's a glass of wine?
41:37And he went, do you know?
41:38And I went, Steven, it's Saturday night, I'm having one glass of wine.
41:41Yeah.
41:41Seven o'clock, you know what I mean?
41:43Yeah.
41:44And you know what he said to me?
41:45He said...
41:47Do you know alcohol is your enemy, Lee?
41:50Really?
41:51Yeah, he did.
41:52Do you know what I said to him?
41:54No.
41:54Jesus said, love your enemy.
41:56Did he?
41:56Jesus!
41:59Case closed.
42:01Am I going to get a wine tasting?
42:04Where's the wine?
42:06This week, we were off stateside on Prime Video, hoping to get a revealing look into the life of the
42:12First Lady.
42:13You're excited for this, aren't you?
42:15Well, of course I am, because I was one of the four people in England who wanted to go and
42:18see it in the cinema.
42:19When I only think three went, so you would have been the fourth?
42:21Yes.
42:22I would have been, and I very nearly did.
42:27Oh, look at that red Louboutin!
42:30Oh!
42:31Oh!
42:31Look at that red Louboutin!
42:34Oh!
42:36Look, she's taking her glasses off.
42:38Oh!
42:38Oh!
42:38Oh!
42:38Oh!
42:39Oh!
42:39Oh!
42:48Oh, no, she's on the page, eh?
42:50Happy New Year.
42:52Happy New Year.
42:52Nice to see you.
42:53We don't get this door-to-door service.
42:55How come she has enough to be frisked?
42:57We always get frisked at the airport.
43:01Oh, no!
43:04Is that him?
43:05What the fuck?
43:06You can't buy a taste, can you?
43:08Everyone wants to know.
43:10So here it is.
43:1220 days in my life.
43:13Does everybody want to know?
43:15I've never actually heard her voice before.
43:17Yes, you must have done.
43:19I haven't.
43:19Family, business, philanthropy, and becoming First Lady of the United States.
43:25Again.
43:26Oh, all right, love.
43:27All right.
43:28Good help.
43:28Drop the mic.
43:29Yeah.
43:32Melanie Aynia.
43:35We don't care for her, do we?
43:36We don't care.
43:38She's just there.
43:40I'm ashamed of Michelle Obama, let's be honest.
43:43No, if it was her.
43:44Yeah.
43:45Yeah, I'd be watching it.
43:46We still are.
43:47That's true.
43:48The film took us behind the scenes in the lead-up to a big day for Melania's husband.
43:53The inauguration is made up of four days of celebrations.
43:56Four days!
43:57Four days!
43:59Blinkinick!
43:59Starting with the candlelight dinner, the night before the swearing-in ceremony.
44:04She had a what?
44:05A candlelight dinner?
44:08What?
44:09A candlelit dinner.
44:11It'll be Trump, Mandelson, Epstein, those kind of...
44:15Andrew!
44:15Those sort of people.
44:17Chef Chris's menu begins with a golden egg and caviar.
44:21As one does.
44:23And this is the first course.
44:27I know what you're thinking, is it chavvy?
44:30No, it's not.
44:31No, and do you know why it's not chavvy?
44:33Because they've got money.
44:34Yes!
44:35Later, after the swearing-in ceremony, the glad rags were on, and it was time to party.
44:42All of the official ceremonies are over.
44:44It is time for the inaugural balls.
44:47The inaugural balls.
44:51Oh, crap, a bastard.
44:53You said it.
44:54Yes, you did.
44:54I thought you said Niagara Falls.
44:56The Commander-in-Chief Ball for the military, the Liberty Ball, and the Starlight Ball,
45:02which will be our last stop.
45:04It was a full itinerary, innit?
45:06Yeah.
45:13Look at that.
45:15Yeah.
45:15And they say chivalry's dead, innit?
45:17Yeah.
45:17He, like, chucked her halfway, go, fuck off, do the rest yourself.
45:19I've done my bit now.
45:21And it wasn't long before Melania and Donald were back at the White House and ready for bed.
45:26Today was so rich with meaning, and since each moment was historic and filled with purpose,
45:32time no longer mattered.
45:34What the bollocks are you talking about, Melania?
45:37I don't know, and quite honestly, if it's two o'clock in the morning,
45:39you would have taken your shoes off by now.
45:42You see, if you're First Lady, you cannae have a down day when you're just in your jammies
45:47watching Law and Order SVU all day without your teeth in and your bra, can you?
45:51Well, certainly not.
45:51I know.
45:52Knowing that I was living a day which would be remembered forever.
45:56Not for the right reasons, though, no.
45:59Nah.
45:59I'll be honest with you, I've forgotten it.
46:01Oh, shh.
46:02I'll see you guys tomorrow.
46:03Good night.
46:04Sweet dreams, Mr President.
46:06Yeah.
46:06Is Melania not going with you?
46:09Oh, is he going to his own room now?
46:10Obviously.
46:11They don't sleep in the same room.
46:13Night-night, Donald.
46:14I actually feel like I know the exact same amount about Melania Trump that I did when
46:20I started watching this.
46:21Which is nothing.
46:22Yeah.
46:23She's Donald Trump's wife.
46:25That's right.
46:29Get through being handcuffed to a total stranger 24-7 and there's 100 grand to be won.
46:35It's streaming now with Jonathan Ross.
46:37And 100 grand is also the prize in an adrenaline-soaked test of skill, strategy and survival.
46:43The hunt, prey versus predator.
46:45It's on Sunday night from nine.
46:47Next tonight, this week is on its last legs.
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