00:03I think it's weak.
00:05You think it?
00:06Okay.
00:08That's too bad.
00:11So you'd want to get stoned to death?
00:12Not me.
00:14I'd want to get lit on fire, probably.
00:16No, you wouldn't.
00:18That's the least one you don't want.
00:21That's the one you don't want.
00:22I'd just wear it.
00:23You'd just wear it?
00:27Oh my goodness!
00:28It's da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da
00:38-da-da-da.
00:38There's a marriage in town!
00:41The marriage of two people coming together warms my heart.
00:46I remember my wedding day.
00:47Marrying the love of my life, Patricia Carol Spencer.
00:51Loser, loser!
00:53She's the best.
00:54I actually don't even remember what cake was.
00:56I don't remember our cake at all, actually.
01:00Were you at her wedding?
01:01No.
01:02No.
01:04Tort was there.
01:05No.
01:09Okay.
01:10Maddie is my best friend, my best man, my maid of honor, and the officiant.
01:16I get to marry my best friend.
01:19Or marry off, or, you know, whatever that is.
01:24You know, I get to, I get to, uh, commence a mate, or marriage.
01:32Yeah, just like that.
01:35Just like, just like that.
01:38That's how marriage is.
01:39A little pot of gold for you.
01:41And that lucky person.
01:43Tort, you know, okay, can we make a cake?
01:45Should we make a cake?
01:46I'm married, Maddie, this is just a pleasure.
01:48We're going to make a lemon chip pot cake for a wedding.
01:50I didn't even know it was in me.
01:53I didn't even know it was in me.
01:55Our little friend is getting married.
01:59She's the light of our life.
02:04All we want is her to be happy.
02:09When I was a little girl, me and my mom used to go to this little cafe,
02:14and she would get a slice of lemon chiffon cake.
02:20And the generational love of lemon chiffon cake
02:24is what I'm going to be bringing to one of the loves of my life
02:29for her to carry on the love to her life.
02:35It's preheated.
02:37Good?
02:38Does it keep beeping?
02:39No, it'll stop.
02:40Like, a lemon chiffon cake is a cake that shows that you care about somebody.
02:44You make somebody a lemon chiffon cake,
02:46this isn't like a batch of brownies or something.
02:49Like, a lemon chiffon cake has, it's regal.
02:52It's beautiful.
02:53It's profound.
02:55Um, okay.
02:56It is a fabulous day.
02:57We are first going to start with separating 37 eggs.
03:01Um, I feel the whites are the brains of the operation.
03:10And the yolk, Michelle, can you help me?
03:15It's kind of like the hearts.
03:18In torment at all times.
03:21Like that bus towel.
03:30Have you met her fiancé before?
03:32I've never met her fiancé before.
03:34She's kind of secretive about it, but she's like, she's excited.
03:38Like, we live in different cities,
03:39so like, it's not like we can see each other all the time, you know?
03:44I love baking so much.
03:46And we're just going to start slowly incorporating.
03:49Okay, and then we're going to speed it up.
03:54We're going to lift it up.
03:57Is there more sugar?
03:58No.
03:59Sugar goes in here.
04:02Vanilla goes in here.
04:05I like that.
04:07I won't be able to hear Michelle.
04:10You're going to be able to hear Michelle?
04:14No.
04:15And there we go.
04:16That's it.
04:18One, two, three.
04:19That's Steph.
04:20That's Steph.
04:21Steph.
04:23Oh, that's not.
04:25That's just salty.
04:25This just tastes like salty foam.
04:27There's no sugar in it.
04:28There's no sugar.
04:29Oh, I hate it.
04:30No, he doesn't like it.
04:31Oh, that was just salty air.
04:35Oh, look at you.
04:37Put your hips in it.
04:46Gentle.
04:47Gentle.
04:48We don't want to disturb the air.
04:50I can be as gentle as a bookworm.
04:55Doesn't it come out of your bum?
04:56Yeah.
04:58Clouds of love.
05:00Marriage is, I love it.
05:01I love, you know, I'm lucky.
05:04I found somebody I love really young.
05:06And, you know, we've had a long...
05:08If I wasn't fully committed to my wife, like if I was, okay.
05:13Andy, disgusted.
05:15Camera B, I would make passionate love to.
05:18Just bubble baths, reading novellas under a willow tree, sucking his feet, tort.
05:26I would let you do whatever you want to me, and I would be your sub.
05:31Sound guy.
05:32I think we would just mutually masturbate.
05:34Do you think that's cheating now, when you masturbate besides someone?
05:38Yeah.
05:39Oh.
05:40Why, do you masturbate next to people all the time?
05:42But I do think, like, threesomes are a good loophole.
05:47What about cocks?
05:49Love that.
05:49Okay.
05:51Ah!
05:52Okay.
05:55We got more whipping today.
05:57Don't we?
05:57We always do.
05:59It's wedding day vibes.
06:00We're horny.
06:01I feel you could put this inside of me, no problem.
06:04Do you want me to try?
06:07Which part?
06:08Just that.
06:10And then I could mix everything.
06:12Hot.
06:14What's that, a big hair?
06:16Who's is that?
06:16Is that mine or yours?
06:17Uh, I would say it's yours.
06:19Look, that's yours.
06:20That looks like brown hair to me.
06:23What color's your hair, fucking skunk?
06:26Michelle makes me a better person.
06:28I think I bring out the best in her.
06:30She's got a lot to learn, but she's great.
06:32You know, she's going to be a really good food stylist one day.
06:35Oh.
06:39One day.
06:44You know, I get a couple punchies in.
06:48I can get a couple punchies in on her wedding day.
06:52You know?
06:53That's the stiffest it is, it gets.
06:56It doesn't get any stiffer than that.
06:57Oh my God.
07:01Yeah.
07:02Maybe we cook our egg.
07:04Wait, wait, wait.
07:05It kind of makes my mouth stick.
07:06I know, it's kind of crazy, right?
07:07Watch.
07:11Uh-oh.
07:17Okay.
07:18So is this your bachelorette party?
07:20Maybe.
07:22So the reason we cook the egg whites.
07:24Girls like to have fun, right?
07:25It's because it...
07:31Our little angel's about to be off the market!
07:35I'm just so excited.
07:36Half off beef liver blows the butcher drapes.
07:42Let's try that again.
07:58You've got to scrub deep to get me out of you.
08:00Yeah.
08:01Okay.
08:02We're gonna...
08:04Now we're gonna make a custard.
08:06A little curd.
08:07Curd.
08:07So we're gonna juice some lemons.
08:09Do you want to use your kitchen stick?
08:11Yeah, that worked well.
08:12Yeah.
08:12We got that papaya prairie frog box.
08:16Oh.
08:18Yeah.
08:19Over the bowl.
08:26Nope.
08:30Stop.
08:34Thanks for my lemon.
08:35Thank you, guys.
08:37Yeah, these aren't bad, JC.
08:39Let's see.
08:48And we whisk.
08:50This is gonna be very nice.
08:52It's like a lemon lollipop.
08:54We love a lemon lollipop.
09:05This is the last step and then we can assemble.
09:08I love making wedding cakes.
09:09I think we're gonna start a wedding cake business.
09:12Called...
09:14Just a cake.
09:16Oh, my God.
09:17A little air conditioning here?
09:18Oh, yeah.
09:18Feel the...
09:19Yeah, get a little fucking couple air flows up there.
09:21Up that polyester?
09:22That feels good.
09:23Up that polyester.
09:23I bet that club sandwich is sweaty.
09:30Roast beef.
09:32Michelle, don't be disgusting.
09:34It's your wedding day.
09:35I can't help it.
09:36I can't help it.
09:37You bring it out in me.
09:38Have some respect.
09:41I kind of wish I was just marrying the kitchen stick.
09:44I think a lot of lucky people would.
09:48We've said it before.
09:52This is very versatile.
09:57Lift it up.
09:59Are you kidding me right now?
10:01I made that.
10:02You did.
10:03I did.
10:08Oh, yeah.
10:09Perfect.
10:11Oh, yeah.
10:12That's nice.
10:16What are you doing?
10:18Just try it.
10:20Ugh.
10:25You like that?
10:26No, it's so good.
10:26Yeah.
10:27I like a little curd.
10:29Okay, put it on.
10:32Ugh.
10:33Mm.
10:36That's too much.
10:38We'll take some out.
10:48That's not right.
10:50I just want today to be perfect.
10:52It will be perfect.
10:53What's the matter?
10:54Nothing.
10:54I just, there's too much.
10:55Hey.
10:56Okay, I just...
10:57You okay?
10:58Yeah, yeah, yeah.
10:58I thought the lemon curd came out really good.
11:01Um.
11:02I am not gonna lie.
11:04Let's see it.
11:05I think I have a bucket of diarrhea inside me that's gonna come out shortly.
11:12Stop.
11:20It smells like diarrhea.
11:22It smells like burnt.
11:24It smells like...
11:25It's not even real.
11:26No!
11:27Come here, come here, come here.
11:28We gotta finish the cake.
11:29We have to finish the cake.
11:30It was, you know, a little toot.
11:34A couple tootskies.
11:36Let's just finish this crumb layer.
11:37I think I'm actually gonna bomb.
11:44No!
11:47Just like that, a wedding cake.
11:50Tor's not gonna use any of this.
11:54Uh, I just wanted to know if you're actually getting my messages.
11:58I've left a cu-
12:00Do they not pack, like, a dress shirt?
12:03It's just literally a suit.
12:05Oh, yeah?
12:07What do you have underneath it?
12:08Well, at least it's a three-piece suit, so I got a vest.
12:14Oh, that looks nice.
12:18I look good.
12:19You kind of look like, uh, Tweedledee.
12:24Well, that's...
12:25That's your perspective?
12:30I think I look nice.
12:31I think I look like...
12:34Should I take the vest off?
12:36Maybe just the vest.
12:39You know, that's the look.
12:42Hey.
12:44Hey.
12:46Nice to meet you.
12:49We hug.
12:49I'm Miche...
12:51I'm Maddie.
12:53Michelle's best friend.
12:54Welcome to our family.
12:56When I'm around him, like, the world stops.
13:00Hey.
13:03And it's just us, you know?
13:06And...
13:07I know that you can feel some crazy energy between us, but we're just friends.
13:10Mrs. Michelle William Zane.
13:15Michelle Zane.
13:16I think that's...
13:17Michelle!
13:19Excuse...
13:20A...
13:21A...
13:22A...
13:22Hold up!
13:23I'll do this a minute.
13:25Hold up!
13:26It's not right by...
13:28My bye-bye...
13:30It's not right by...
13:32You know what?
13:32I'm gonna call her.
13:33I'm gonna check in.
13:41Ricky?
13:42Hello, buddy.
13:43Like, getting Billy Zane...
13:44It's great.
13:45It's a crazy get, right?
13:49And...
13:49I don't know.
13:50I'm just excited for her to find love.
13:52Because I know what it feels like.
13:54And I want people to feel that.
13:56I don't know if you'd pick up this time, but...
13:58Like, maybe you're just busy getting ready.
14:01Um...
14:01Call me back.
14:05But did you...
14:06Like, you talked to him before this?
14:08Yeah.
14:09Oh, of course.
14:10I'm not...
14:13I thought he was coming.
14:15We love her.
14:16We love her.
14:17You know?
14:19She's sick in the head, but we love her.
14:22No!
14:23No!
14:31The door's locked.
14:32To be ready to surprise.
14:34And I see, I see, I see, I see until it's not.
14:39It's like it will hurt you.
14:42It will hurt you.
14:44I didn't talk...
14:47Today.
14:50I see you later.
14:52Hello?
14:56Monsoir, Michelle.
14:57I'm just coming from the Riviera.
14:58Hey, can we FaceTime?
14:59I want to see you.
15:00You don't want to see these cheekbones right now.
15:03They're not at their best.
15:04I've just arrived, Intercontinental.
15:07What the fuck?
15:09I don't care that he didn't even realize that he was going to get married.
15:13So you're just around the corner.
15:14You're kind of close.
15:15This is the rehearsal.
15:16The limousine is lost.
15:18Just remind me, what is your mother's maiden name for the bouquet?
15:22It's hard.
15:23Watching your friend...
15:24Having an episode.
15:31I just want to be there for her.
15:33I want to be a good friend.
15:35I want to be her best friend.
15:36I want to take care of her.
15:38I want her to be okay.
15:41I want Billy to be okay.
15:43Because I'm a new celebrity, and you're an icon.
15:47Celebrity is just the shadow, isn't it?
15:50You do meatballs, right?
15:52We could still be best friends.
16:01They're so good.
16:02They're so good.
16:03See, we just need each other.
16:05That's true.
16:11I still think Billy's nice.
16:14Maybe he's got in a car accident.
16:17I got stood up on my own wedding day,
16:21and I still have to clean the kitchen.
16:33It was a long day.
16:38Out of heaven.
16:53Is that a wrap on today, you think?
16:54Uh, I don't know.
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