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00:04What have I missed?
00:06I'm Pika and Dave's have a sex life with a Dice
00:09and they roll it for kind of soup chicken.
00:11Wait, just give me a second to actually arrive and breathe.
00:14Previously on The Real Hell's Wives of Cheshire.
00:17The Dice has obviously multiple faces.
00:19Yeah.
00:20So it'll be a different sexual position.
00:22David is a bit outdated, doesn't know what the positions are,
00:25so I have to show him.
00:26I'm not f***ing leaving soon. I'm going to stay here.
00:28If she's going to be so f***ing stubborn to me,
00:30I haven't said anything wrong and be like,
00:32you f***ing, because I'm not wanted here.
00:34That's why she's saying you f***ing leave.
00:35I didn't say that.
00:36I didn't say that.
00:36I didn't say that.
00:38Oh.
00:39Oh, are you?
00:40Are you okay?
00:41Oh, my God.
00:41Oh, my God.
00:44Oh, my God.
00:44Oh, my God.
00:45I called you to meet up.
00:47I called you to go out.
00:48What?
00:48But you cancelled every time.
00:50Literally, every year, we say about two things.
00:54Sorry while I scroll through all our messages together.
00:56I'm not surface level.
00:58No, I'm going home.
00:59Listen, I know.
00:59I get it.
01:00How can she say?
01:01Hold down.
01:05I'm a queen bee, and I've got a sting in my tail.
01:12Cheshire's in my blood, but don't make it boil.
01:17I'll pray for peace, but I'm ready for war.
01:24I might be younger, but I wasn't born yesterday.
01:29I don't have time for gossip.
01:31I'm too busy building an empire.
01:34Cheshire is my playground, and I'll give you the ride of your life.
01:39Why can't you be a-
01:42Come on, you're my favorite.
01:44What?
01:44One, two, three.
01:46Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:48Everything, everything, everything's so good.
01:51Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:54Cause every day, every day, you make a bit made.
01:57So Rach, you are very country-fied.
02:00Oh, yeah, lovely.
02:00I'm loving that look. I'm actually gutted because I've got the same heart and I've not brought it.
02:08Hello, ladies!
02:11She's country too!
02:13I don't travel light, do I? I travel expensive.
02:17The whole point of this retreat is to bring us all together.
02:20No more divide, no more upset, no more tears, no more sadness.
02:25Just bring everyone together and feel the love.
02:28Someone else is joining us.
02:29Namina!
02:31There she is!
02:32See, I don't travel that light, you know.
02:35I'm really happy for Namina to be on our trip. I am welcoming to all.
02:40It's just that everybody needs to remember to mind their own business.
02:44So, are we all excited, ladies?
02:46This is a transform, each and every one of your lives.
02:59Oh, oh, oh, we just can't get enough.
03:02Could you imagine Lauren as a bus driver? A lover?
03:05No.
03:05To be fair, I actually could, you know. I could see it.
03:08You sound rude to everyone.
03:09Sorry, I'm not stopping.
03:10Sorry, bye!
03:11I've got somewhere to go.
03:13I'm bored now.
03:15I've got lots of activities, so I hope you ladies are not bored.
03:18You're morphing into me?
03:20Yes!
03:20We're morphing into each other, but I'm not as competitive as you, Rachel.
03:23I am so not competitive, and I hate games, and I hate being told what to do.
03:29But it's fun!
03:29But it's bonding, it gets us all together as a group.
03:32This is a sisterhood now, the sisterhood.
03:34I'm actually really excited.
03:36We're having so much fun on the bus, I'm so excited for this trip,
03:39and it's so lovely for Mambika to invite me.
03:42Oh, we're almost here, ladies!
03:48Aw!
03:50Oh, it's so nice.
03:51From home to home, ladies!
04:00Let's go!
04:02We're here!
04:04In the Derbyshire Hills!
04:06Smell the fresh air, ladies!
04:10Thank you!
04:12Oh, no!
04:13Nani!
04:14Are you all right?
04:17I did not do that, everyone.
04:19I didn't touch her.
04:21I was so busy looking over that.
04:24I've got my knee brace with me.
04:25Oh, no!
04:26Who the hell brings a knee brace on a holiday?
04:29Like, am I with a bunch of OAPs?
04:31Like, who am I with?
04:33Let's get in, ladies, let's get a glass of champagne.
04:35That's the way to make an arrival.
04:41And Pika!
04:43I know!
04:43This is zen!
04:45Wow!
04:46This is tranquil!
04:47Oh, this is gorgeous!
04:51Can you feel the love naked?
04:54Can you feel the love?
04:55Pika!
04:56You've done good!
04:57Yes!
04:58You could be stark bought naked all day long, because you've got no one who's going to overlook.
05:03Literally, could you imagine?
05:04Pika!
05:04Pika!
05:05It's absolutely stunning.
05:10I am so excited to be having such good vibes in the house with all the girls, but one thing
05:15is really getting on my tits.
05:17I've heard nothing from Seema, and quite frankly, I think that's fricking rude.
05:21I just think it's very bizarre that I haven't had an RSVP to say that, unfortunately, I can't make it.
05:28I think that worries me a little bit, because it's not really like Seema.
05:30Maybe she's seeing how she goes throughout the morning.
05:33I hope there's no bad feeling or anything, because I've put all this on because I want us to all
05:37have a bit of bonding time,
05:38so unless she's, like, in a hospital bed, I think she would have texted me.
05:41Why don't we wait and see what comes out?
05:44Because, to be perfectly honest, I think she's actually lucky she didn't go on that party bus.
05:51This is the crown jewel of all the jewels, so we're together, Lauren.
05:55We don't need to cross the corridor from each other.
05:57I'm loving all these details.
06:05Very nice, Pika.
06:07This is Lauren's room, then.
06:09No, this is Pika's room.
06:10This is my room.
06:11Yeah, it's gorgeous.
06:12Beautiful.
06:13Does that say pheasant or peasant?
06:14Peasant.
06:15I'm not sure you've got a degree.
06:17I have got a degree.
06:18We're going to go up to the western wing.
06:20Namina's room now.
06:21Look.
06:23Oh, wow.
06:23Beautiful.
06:24I love it.
06:25She's got a full poster.
06:27Oh, wow.
06:28Nice big shower and a bath.
06:31Loving it.
06:32I've saved the best till last, though.
06:34I just thought this is very quaint, very cosy.
06:37Oh, my favourite.
06:38I love a snuggly room.
06:41Cosy, snuggly, cosy.
06:43They're basically like twin rooms, aren't they?
06:45OK.
06:46Jack and Jill, Jack and Jill.
06:47If I've not got a shower, though, cos I really need a shower.
06:49Is she joking?
06:50Who is she trying to convince?
06:52I'm in the smallest room with no shower.
06:55Well done on your upselling skills, I'm Pika,
06:57but it's not working around me.
06:59So, if we wanted to have a shower, where would we go?
07:01Right downstairs.
07:02There is a multi-use bathroom.
07:05All right, cool.
07:05OK.
07:06OK, well, thank you.
07:08Well, it is lovely, isn't it?
07:09It's very, very cute.
07:10I'm happy.
07:11Like that.
07:14Straight up and get what I want and do what I want
07:17and live how I want now.
07:18Straight up and get what I want and do what I want
07:21because I look good now.
07:25I'm f***ing knocking.
07:26Straight up and get what I want and do what I want
07:29and live straight up, straight up.
07:32Oh, Tanya!
07:34Thank God.
07:34Oh, my God.
07:35You're only coming for a night, you know.
07:37Oh!
07:37Why are you coming for too many women?
07:39Where's the bloody bottler?
07:41Well, that baggage is nowhere near as heavy
07:43as the baggage that I've been carrying all the way here.
07:46Wait till you find out what I've heard from Seema and Pika.
07:49I mean, I just don't think I can keep it to myself any longer.
07:52It's only one night, you know.
07:53Yes.
07:54That is a serious amount of clothes.
07:56Well, it's my make-up, it's my natural beauty in there,
07:58I'm Pika, you know.
07:59Well, I'm just thrilled that you're away from being footy mum
08:02and you can actually just relax.
08:04Oh, there's no relaxing for me, I'm Pika.
08:06All the way here, I'm going, don't tell the girls, Tanya,
08:08don't tell the girls, don't do it, don't, don't do it.
08:11I'm going, I'm just going to explode.
08:14I heard that Lauren's been saying that Noreen is a geg.
08:19Have you?
08:19I know.
08:20I don't know if Noreen knows that or not.
08:22What is a geg?
08:23It's like a gegger.
08:24A geg.
08:25Geg?
08:25It sounds like...
08:27Like a...
08:29When I spit something out.
08:30Geg.
08:31I don't know what a gegger is.
08:32It's like a geg.
08:33There's no other words, it's like a geg, like she's gegs on.
08:36What do you mean, like a busybody?
08:38It's not like you're not invited, it's just like...
08:41Tag her on.
08:42Tag her on.
08:43Like a clinger on her.
08:44Yeah, yes.
08:45Like a clinker.
08:46What's a clinker?
08:47You know, like that poo you can't get off your bum.
08:51Or will it?
08:51I don't know.
09:03Oh, bless you.
09:05You've got your trousers down.
09:06I couldn't get Lamar.
09:07Fur coat, no knickers.
09:09Can I have it?
09:09Bright red knickers.
09:10Oh, gosh, it is actually swollen, isn't it?
09:12Do you think I'm going to make a fuss?
09:14Oh!
09:15Oh, no!
09:16I can't believe it.
09:17She's gone down like a sack of shit.
09:19I can't believe it.
09:20Are you OK?
09:22Are you OK?
09:22I'm OK.
09:23I didn't know what to say out there when they were saying about Seema
09:26and that she hadn't let...
09:27She would never, you know, let anyone down.
09:29She wears a heart on the sleeve and if there's anything,
09:31she would say, well, listen, sorry, I can't make it today.
09:34She sent me a voice note as to what's wrong,
09:35and I'll play at you so you can understand.
09:38No, I'm not good on it.
09:39I've got really bad acute pain in the left side of my...
09:45I've had a CT scan.
09:47He's given me, like, different things that it could be,
09:50but, like, I'm not really looking into any of it.
09:52I just try to keep an open mind
09:54and I am in so much pain.
09:56I don't want them making it into a big thing
09:59because it seems they're dumping on her at the moment with things.
10:01The speech, the farewell speech wasn't quite to everyone's taste
10:04and now why should not anyone know?
10:06She sounds terrible.
10:08You'll never visit in a video
10:09We'll see you through the radio
10:10All the beauty's inside
10:13Do you know what, though?
10:14I never... I don't do baths.
10:16No, I don't do baths either.
10:17I'm a shower person.
10:18Me neither. I don't really do baths.
10:19So, for me, I'm like...
10:19We're doing baths tonight.
10:20Well, we'll be having double bubble baths.
10:22So, obviously, at the 80s night, I spoke with Namina
10:25after the kind of conversation that you guys had.
10:28She felt a bit like,
10:29oh, why did Sheena tell me to whatever you said?
10:32She said, I think I should leave, and I said, I think he should.
10:34Yeah.
10:35I'm gonna leave this conversation because I just feel like
10:37I can't say anything anyways.
10:38Yeah, I think you should, yeah.
10:39Sorry?
10:40I think you should leave.
10:41I'll decide if I'm...
10:42No, because I'm talking to Seema.
10:44You're constantly batting in and getting involved.
10:46I'm here.
10:46I'm allowed to say it's my opinion.
10:47No, it's my opinion.
10:49Nobody asked, so...
10:50And I think she took that probably with a bit of offence,
10:53and I said to her, no, no, it was meant in offence,
10:55so she took it in the right context.
10:57Yeah.
10:59How are things with Sheena?
11:00Because that was all about...
11:01Well, I felt like we didn't leave it, like,
11:04on a good note at all when we left the other night.
11:06Yeah.
11:07She was really, like, harsh to me, you know, in that conversation.
11:10And at one point, I was like, you know what?
11:11This is not going anywhere.
11:12I'm gonna stand up.
11:13So I literally took my glass.
11:14I was like, you know what, ladies?
11:15I'm gonna leave you to it.
11:17She turns around and says, yes, I think you should leave.
11:20Wow.
11:20I'm telling you something.
11:21I'm not being spoken to.
11:22So I just put my glass down and went to sit,
11:24and I was like, you know what?
11:25I'm not leaving anywhere.
11:26So I didn't like that tone.
11:28But saying that, you know, I came with fresh, good energy.
11:31I'm really excited to be with you girls here.
11:33So I feel like it was fine.
11:38Look, someone I barely know decided to give their opinion
11:42on something that had nothing to do with them.
11:44So did I snap?
11:47Absolutely.
11:48Was it justified?
11:50Absolutely.
11:51You've got a lot of chats going on these next couple of days.
11:55So you enjoy, and we'll see you on the party bus on the way home.
12:05We need to sit up straight, don't we?
12:07Legs crossed.
12:08Yeah.
12:08I think there's so much more than what we think the basics.
12:11Yes, I would agree.
12:12I thought she was teaching us how to eat without, like...
12:14So my dad was in the army, and so we had to go to the big functions,
12:18and he always taught us BMW, which is bread, meal, wine.
12:22Not that we had wine, because we were kids.
12:23Red's always left.
12:24Fred's always left.
12:25Yeah.
12:26Spoon is always on the right.
12:28Oh, all right, girls.
12:29I can tell you were born with silver spoons in your mouth.
12:33Ladies, welcome.
12:34This is Laura.
12:36Hi.
12:36Good afternoon, ladies.
12:38Hello.
12:38All of us ladies need a bit of a polish up
12:40and a refinement on our manners.
12:42So I have searched the globe to find an international etiquette teacher
12:47to teach us the skills of etiquette.
12:50So any questions that anyone's got to ask Laura about rudeness,
12:54interrupting, interrupting in different styles and formats,
12:57eye-rolling, selfishness, what does it look like?
13:00It's a bit rich, Ampika arranging etiquette lessons.
13:03When she needs them more than anyone, she's got the biggest potty mouth.
13:08Free the nipples!
13:11I would now like you ladies to please take a seat.
13:15We've got a seat for Ampika.
13:18I think I've got to sit on.
13:19Right, ladies, I know quite a number of you were dragging the chairs
13:24and there was a lot of noise.
13:26Once you pull your chair out, you want to stand in front of your chair,
13:30bring your chair slightly forward and then sit down in one go.
13:41Obviously that's not right.
13:49This is very excellent posture.
13:52Your back is not touching the back of the chair.
13:55That's wonderful.
13:56Woo!
13:57Are we allowed to woo?
13:59Typically not.
14:00Typically not.
14:01We're not allowed to woo when we hear a pop.
14:04Woo, woo, woo, woo, woo!
14:07I like you because you're like me.
14:09When you're saying something horrible, you smile.
14:12So who would like to tell me the first course we're going to eat?
14:17Tanya said it's B-R-W, B-M-W.
14:19The lady here, I was speaking and she was trying to answer my question.
14:24But it was my answer.
14:25Oh, it's not my answer.
14:27No.
14:27Did I interrupt you?
14:28You did.
14:28Oh, okay.
14:29You did, Paige.
14:30I apologise.
14:31Well, Paige is on her best behaviour, isn't she?
14:33Because she's never apologised for interrupting me before.
14:36Yes.
14:37So, I think in this group we have a tendency of getting involved.
14:41She doesn't normally speak like that, by the way.
14:43I do.
14:45Why is she talking like this?
14:47What's wrong with her?
14:48Sweet.
14:49Properly, Paige.
14:50You're from Gloucester.
14:50Yeah.
14:51Okay, I feel like in this group that we all get involved in conversations that not necessarily
14:55we're meant to be a part of and it can then spiral and then the group becomes fractured.
15:01I'm saying you're asking in general.
15:02Yeah, in general.
15:03You're not pointing fingers, I hope.
15:05Yeah, in general.
15:07I'm like, okay, Amina, calm down.
15:10It wasn't meant to be personal.
15:12Looks like I've hit a nerve.
15:14Anything you don't want sharing, maybe don't repeat it.
15:17And if you know there's a situation with you and a person, deal with that person directly.
15:24Get a new set of friends.
15:30I enjoyed that, though.
15:31Well, I just, I can't.
15:33I've sat fidgeting enough.
15:34No, you're a fidget.
15:34Yes, I know.
15:35I should have worn my sunshine lanyard.
15:37Oh, my God.
15:37How funny was it when Paige changed her accent?
15:39I know.
15:41I have put all our differences to one side.
15:43You don't like her.
15:44I am enjoying the banter that we're having.
15:47You know me.
15:47It takes me a long time to warm up to people.
15:50And then when I do, I'm silly.
15:51Hello, hello, hello.
15:53Hello.
15:54Wanted to come in for a little chin wag.
15:56You girls all right?
15:57Your ears burning, are they?
15:58They probably are.
15:59I know they always are.
16:02And then Paige just appears, like, creeping Jesus.
16:05Like, oh.
16:07Do you guys know if Nermina knows that Lauren's been saying that Nermina's a gag?
16:15What?
16:15What's a gag?
16:16What's a gag?
16:17Yeah, I don't know what a gag is.
16:18What is a gag?
16:20G-E-G.
16:22Golf, echo, golf.
16:23Is gag even a word?
16:25I don't even know what it means.
16:28Lauren's been calling Nermina a gag.
16:29It's like she gags on.
16:31Wait, hang on.
16:31How do you know that Lauren thinks that Nermina's a gag?
16:35Seema told me.
16:36Why has it Seema told Nermina?
16:38Seema's not here.
16:39She's poorly.
16:40Yeah.
16:40Seema told me that Lauren's been calling Nermina a gag.
16:43And I've been thinking at the table.
16:44It just clicked on my head because I thought, oh.
16:46Is that what I'm talking about?
16:48No.
16:49Oh.
16:49This is a fucking movie.
16:51What the fuck?
16:52Seema talking to Ralph even, you two.
16:54Wait, so Seema said...
16:55Oh, my God.
16:56OK, let's get the facts straight.
16:57So Seema said that Lauren said that Nermina's a gag.
17:03Yes.
17:03And I can't remember if Nermina knows that Lauren's been called...
17:08So we don't know if Nermina knows that she's been called a gag.
17:10This is making it far more fucking difficult.
17:12So do we know if Lauren's...
17:14Stop shouting because you're fucking willing to me.
17:17Oh, my God.
17:19Before these two went to private school, they need to get their money back.
17:23Absolute bird brains.
17:28It was so lovely to see Tanya today.
17:30I'm really happy she's here as well.
17:32Yeah.
17:33She said to me today, I said, how are all the girls getting on?
17:36And at the moment, I'm feeling everything's good.
17:38I feel that everyone's happy and everyone's excited.
17:40And she's like, well, Lauren thinks that Nermina's a gag.
17:44I was like, what?
17:44What's a gag?
17:45I don't know. A gag.
17:46I have no idea what gag means, but it does not sound like a compliment.
17:51So I'm not even sure what a gag is.
17:53I was like, gag? What is a gag?
17:56You know what? I'm lost here.
17:58Please, can you tell me what a gag is?
18:00Someone who goes to something they weren't actually invited to.
18:04Someone who butts into or who listens to a conversation.
18:08Someone who tags along.
18:10But you haven't tagged along?
18:11No, I got invited to, yeah.
18:12Lauren is pot calling the kettle black.
18:15She does it all the time.
18:16So Lauren, if the cap fits yourself, wear it, sweetheart, and own it.
18:28Tonight, I've told the girls to put on their finest pyjamas
18:31because we are having a slumber party.
18:34Peek-a-boo style, fun, fun, fun.
18:41Who's ready for pre-day party?
18:44Oh, look at you!
18:45We're just waiting for Lauren to get changed.
18:47I know what I was thinking.
18:48Lauren, are you in your gym wear?
18:49What are you?
18:50I'm in lounge. I'm in the skims.
18:52Is that what you're sleeping?
18:53Do you know, I actually don't sleep in anything.
18:55I'm actually a naked sleeper.
18:56It's healthy, I sleep naked too.
18:58Do you sleep naked?
18:59No, never.
19:00Sports bra on and Bridget Jones knickers.
19:02You're marrying a billionaire.
19:03I know.
19:03Yeah, he doesn't mind.
19:04He knows the rules, he knows the rules.
19:06I wear the trousers in the household and say,
19:07after we've had sex, do not touch me.
19:09I put Bridget Jones knickers on, it holds my stomach in.
19:13Hey!
19:16There's teenagers in the house.
19:18I want to know what Sheena's secret recipe is
19:21because that woman is ageing backwards.
19:23I wish that etiquette lady was here now,
19:25where you sat like that.
19:29You're me now!
19:31Hello!
19:32Hello!
19:34Saving the mask for last!
19:37It's a pyjama party where I become looking for sex.
19:41None of us fans see you, honey bun.
19:43To me?
19:44Who wants for your hubby?
19:45Who wants for your girlfriend?
19:46Well, the whole point of tonight, ladies,
19:49is to get the female prowess,
19:52the inner alpha female,
19:54that thing between your legs to pulsate and feel magical.
19:58A thing that goes between my legs
20:00that makes me feel magical and pulsate tonight.
20:03Mmm.
20:04Is that a big vibrator?
20:06Great.
20:07Can't wait to go to bed.
20:08So what we're going to do, ladies,
20:10we're going to go outside.
20:11Stop it.
20:12We are going to howl to the moon.
20:15Oh, oh, oh!
20:16Oh, my God!
20:18I definitely feel like Ampika's done this before
20:20because, yeah, she is a pro at howling.
20:24Oh, oh, oh!
20:26That is not her first time howl.
20:29Come on, then, ladies, let's go!
20:32Enjoy, girlies.
20:33No, I'm not doing that.
20:35No.
20:36No.
20:37No, no, no, no, no, no.
20:38I'm just confused about vagina to howl into...
20:43The moon's going to be like,
20:44what the fuck?
20:45We're going to release any pent-up negativity to the moon.
20:50Oh!
20:52I was thinking it's really fucking foggy.
20:55You can't see the moon.
20:57Oh!
20:59Oh, my God, we're all harmonising!
21:02So we've had etiquette,
21:03now we're howling at the moon from our vaginas.
21:06Who knows what's going to happen?
21:11We've got a game, ladies!
21:12Because I want to get to know each and every one of you better.
21:15OK.
21:15You pull out a question,
21:16you read it,
21:18and you answer it.
21:19Lauren's question, Lauren.
21:20Wake me up.
21:22Who is the biggest gossip in the group?
21:25Oh!
21:27Oh!
21:27Whole truth,
21:28I'm getting to know a bit more about you all.
21:30It's me!
21:33I've got the biggest gossip going!
21:36You don't say.
21:37Ah, but I...
21:37You actually do.
21:38I know!
21:39You do.
21:39I heard you said to Tanya
21:43that I was a gag.
21:45I don't even know what a gag is.
21:46What?
21:46A gag.
21:47You told Tanya?
21:48No.
21:49Oh, so you repeated it.
21:51I did it.
21:52I did it.
21:52I did it.
21:53Well, not to you.
21:54I haven't...
21:55I've not told Namina!
21:56Right, Namina, wait.
21:57I've told Namina.
21:59Right, no, no, no.
21:59Who's told you?
22:00I told...
22:01I told Namina.
22:02Ampika told me.
22:03So, gossip here.
22:05Gossip here.
22:06Gossip on Pika.
22:06Gossip on Pika.
22:07Told Tanya.
22:08Tanya told Ampika.
22:09I asked Paige and...
22:11Wait!
22:12What?
22:12You didn't say anything!
22:13And Pika asked...
22:14And Pika told me this.
22:16I was like, oh, shit, you heard too.
22:17I did say...
22:18What?
22:19What you are?
22:19I'm a gag.
22:20I don't even...
22:20I had to get my phone out.
22:21I never said gag.
22:22I never said gag.
22:23I said beg.
22:24Oh, no!
22:27Lauren!
22:28Stop talking!
22:30This was a few weeks ago
22:32when we all started hanging out together.
22:35I said, Namina...
22:36You've been hanging out for years.
22:37You haven't.
22:38There was a little bit of a gap.
22:40Okay.
22:40So I'm not being horrible.
22:41I've been dealing with something serious the last few years.
22:43Yes, you have.
22:44You got better and I'm so happy.
22:46You're putting me as I'm someone outside this group,
22:49trying to be part of the group.
22:51I've said it.
22:51Well, I think what you've said is not really nice to say.
22:53I think it's incorrect and I don't think it's true.
22:55But it's not incorrect.
22:56You don't speak to anyone.
22:58No, just because we don't speak.
22:59You haven't spoken to Paige.
23:00I do!
23:00First of all, I'm not trying.
23:02To be part of a group that you've not seen anyone for three years.
23:05I think you're not going to decide if I'm part of the group or not.
23:08I saw Paige over...
23:09I see her.
23:11Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
23:11Hold on a minute.
23:13I am not deciding whether you're part of the group.
23:16No!
23:17I will...
23:18Wait.
23:19Wait.
23:19I feel so uncomfortable right now because I really like Namina.
23:23I love Lauren.
23:25I don't know where to put myself.
23:27I feel so awkward.
23:29I will never decide whether you're part of a group.
23:32That would be really unfair.
23:34You just said.
23:35I said you were a beg trying to be part of the group.
23:38I'm not.
23:38I don't think that's a nice thing to say.
23:39That you've not hung around with us for three years.
23:41I think you're just rude.
23:42I just think you're rude.
23:43And I'm just going to leave it.
23:44I think I'm rude.
23:45I think you're being very rude.
23:46I'm not being rude.
23:47I said at the very beginning.
23:50You're not being rude.
23:50You are rude.
23:51You are a bit of a beg.
23:52Rachel, will you take a gift?
23:56I've been dealing with so much shit in my life the last three years.
24:00I'm not being part of any group.
24:02I think you're being extremely rude.
24:04I'm not going after her.
24:04I'm just going to cool down for five seconds.
24:07I'm sad to see her get that hysterical and get really upset,
24:11but she's been here all night and she's had all night to say something.
24:15She's very calculated, her.
24:16She knows what she's doing.
24:20I do not want to add fuel to the fire or be mean.
24:23However, in my experience, does Namina get involved where she shouldn't?
24:27Absolutely.
24:28So does that make her a gig?
24:30Then, yeah, I guess it does.
24:32But this is exactly what she wants.
24:34She's trying to make herself relevant.
24:35I'm not siding with anyone.
24:37I'm just going to go check on her because she is upset.
24:39Do you know what I mean?
24:39Well, you're a beg, too, then, for running off.
24:42Don't call me a beg, Lauren.
24:43Are you running off?
24:43Come on, Lauren.
24:44It's not fair.
24:45No one should go off crying in any group situation.
24:47You know what I mean?
24:47It's not nice.
24:49I'm not going to call you out in front of a group,
24:50but you and I have the relationship where we tell each other things.
24:53Were you going to tell me to not speak?
24:55No, I'm not going to tell you not to speak.
24:56Because I'm not going to listen to that.
24:57I feel like beg is a pretty bad word.
24:59It's called a social climate.
25:00It's the same thing.
25:01Oh, Lauren.
25:02That just hit quite a sensitive nerve
25:04because I'm thinking, like, the last three years,
25:06you're right, you haven't seen me as much, Lauren,
25:08but I've not been enjoying life.
25:11I've actually been fighting for my life.
25:12And for you to say something,
25:13I'm trying to get back into this group
25:15and be part of the group,
25:16you're being an insensitive bitch.
25:18I'm sorry for my language.
25:19You are being an insensitive bitch.
25:20I think she...
25:20Because I'm lucky and happy and grateful
25:23to be able to be part of this group again
25:25because if you asked me three years ago,
25:26I wasn't even sure if I'm going to be here.
25:29And, Pika, I'm going to be...
25:30I'm going to be totally honest with you now.
25:32Yeah.
25:32This game was only really going to go one way.
25:35I disagree.
25:35If you asked someone personal questions...
25:37Well, can I just say something you're actually wrong?
25:39Because this game did not go wrong because of the game.
25:41This went wrong because somebody told her
25:44and I said she was a beg, which was you.
25:46That's me.
25:46So, actually, it's your fault, Peekaboo.
25:48It is mine.
25:48But, however, you said it.
25:50No, we have a question.
25:51Forget etiquette.
25:52Who is the most genuine?
25:54Me.
25:54Why?
25:55Because I'll tell you exactly how it is.
25:57Oh!
25:59No?
26:09Morning.
26:10Morning, Angel.
26:11How's the patient this morning?
26:13Oh, I didn't have a great night's sleep.
26:14Oh, did you not?
26:15Have you seen the snow?
26:16I know.
26:17Isn't it gorgeous?
26:18Isn't it?
26:26How old are you now?
26:27You don't look 50.
26:29Thanks.
26:30Too bad.
26:30I don't think any of us look our age.
26:32I think we all look...
26:33Everyone looks great.
26:34We do things, don't we?
26:35Well, well...
26:36Oh, when are we having our fudges done?
26:38Are you getting your vaginas tightened?
26:39Not tighter, no.
26:40Really?
26:41It's just dropped a bit.
26:42Oh, okay.
26:42I just want it just pulled.
26:43Pulling up.
26:44Yeah.
26:45It's just gravity, really.
26:47Oh, it's a bit droopy.
26:48Let me show you gravity.
26:50Look at this.
26:51Chelsea Healey and Brooke Vincent posted it.
26:53My fudge, look at that.
26:58You've got a foot on cap or toe.
27:00I can't even see that.
27:01Yours was worse.
27:02Mine was worse.
27:10Oh, ladies.
27:12We've got an action-packed day today.
27:15So excited.
27:16Pulling out all the stops as usual.
27:19So, we have got three of us, well, four of us actually, off to the animal farm for some
27:24animal therapy.
27:27If I get shagged by a sheep, I swear to God, I'm going, no.
27:31And then for you ladies, Paige, Sheena and Lauren, you've got champagne sabarage.
27:37I spend my life around animals and not enough time around champagne.
27:43And, Pika, is there any chance we can rejiggle the group?
27:46With a very handsome, sexy gentleman.
27:49Why are you looking at me?
27:50He's going to be doing something extra special with his sword.
27:53I've never heard it called a sword before.
27:55I know.
27:57You have.
28:02Come on, ladies.
28:03Let's go.
28:04Ooh.
28:06Oh, hi.
28:07Hello.
28:08Hello.
28:08Well, this is very Game of Thrones.
28:09It is very Game of Thrones.
28:10It's a little fire in a big fire pit.
28:12Yeah, yeah, yeah.
28:12That is one big sword.
28:15I hope it was hard to use that because, yeah, that would destroy someone.
28:21Oh, I shouldn't say that.
28:27I'm going to be teaching you guys the art of sabarage, which is opening a bottle of champagne with a
28:34sword.
28:35As far as I'm concerned, if we've all got fingers at the end of this...
28:37We're doing good.
28:38We're doing good.
28:39We're doing good.
28:41We take our bottle, holding it from the bottom to keep my fingers and thumbs out of the way.
28:46So, not even using, like, the sharp tip of the blade.
28:48Just using the base of it.
28:50A few times back and forth.
28:52Oh!
28:53There we go.
29:01Hi, Claire.
29:02Hi.
29:02We're super excited.
29:03Are you?
29:04Please tell these ladies what we've got in store for them today.
29:06You're going to meet some lovely fluffy alpaca boys, take them for a little walk.
29:10What we've got to be careful of around alpacas is that we actually not touch them on the face.
29:14If you go towards the face, they're going to spit at you.
29:17And when they spit, it's the contents left of their bowels that they spit at you.
29:22It better not fucking spit on me.
29:28Oh, yeah.
29:30I mean, this is six inches, isn't it?
29:33So, we're dealing with six inches, are we, Tom?
29:35I mean, I'm not good at measurements, so whatever you say, Tom.
29:40Oh!
29:42That was really good.
29:43That was so cool.
29:45That was actually probably one of the best demonstrations I've ever seen.
29:48I'm absolutely delighted.
29:50I never do well in these activities.
29:51And now, I've done it first time.
29:54Yay me.
29:55Lower down the blade where it's a bit heavier.
29:57And make sure you are pushing down into the bottle as you go.
30:00Woo!
30:01Perfect.
30:02Look at that.
30:03And if you look again, it's taking the top and the glass clean off.
30:08Bit more pressure going down into the bottle.
30:11Woo!
30:11Perfect.
30:13Well done.
30:14Very good.
30:15That was really cool.
30:16I really enjoyed that.
30:17Well, it's pretty bad.
30:18Sheena got the best shot, but I mean, who got the best cleaners cut?
30:20You.
30:21It looks like yours is.
30:25Rachel, you're missing all the fun, Rachel.
30:28Fun?
30:29You've got mirrors on your ceiling, a shower that fits four.
30:32And you think walking that thing round is fun.
30:34What's happened to you?
30:35Come on.
30:36Come on, Winston, you stubborn bugger.
30:38Come on.
30:39Tanya, you are not made for the farm.
30:41That flat cap, Tanya, you look similar.
30:45Claire, do you find them quite affectionate animals, would you say?
30:48They're very nervous, but when you build up the trust, they are.
30:50Aww.
30:51But if you want to go in for a cuddle, you're more than welcome.
30:53Just give him a little stroke on his neck there.
30:55Urgh!
30:56Alpaca shit!
30:58Urgh!
30:59Urgh!
31:00I don't know why she keeps doing this to me.
31:02Last time, I had to take a donkey for a walk.
31:04It took me for a walk!
31:10Good!
31:11Good!
31:11Let's go!
31:12Let's go!
31:19Fucking hell.
31:20Get me out of here.
31:22Can I ask how the therapy is going?
31:24I think Tanya is quite upset.
31:25Tanya is like, I'll fuck you shit.
31:33Cheers, girls.
31:34And thank you, Tanya.
31:36Well done, guys.
31:37Girlies.
31:38See you later.
31:39Bye.
31:39Bye, guys.
31:39Bye, guys.
31:40Do you want a taste?
31:42Can you handle me?
31:44All right, girlies.
31:46Hi.
31:46Hi.
31:47Hi.
31:47How was that?
31:48I loved it.
31:49I'm not sure if Tanya agrees, but I had an amazing time.
31:52Thank you, Aunt Pika.
31:53Tanya's walking home.
31:54She stinks.
31:56How's everyone feeling after last night?
31:58How are you feeling?
31:59I am still really upset about it.
32:00I'm not going to lie.
32:00And I don't want to get emotional.
32:02The things that have been said are just really upsetting, you know?
32:05And I felt like I was trying to explain myself and trying to kind of get a word in just
32:10escalated really quickly.
32:12And it just genuinely really, really upset me.
32:15I don't agree with Lauren on this particular point.
32:18I like the fact that Namina's in the group.
32:20I don't understand what Lauren's problem is.
32:23What the hell happened last night?
32:26Who knows?
32:27Because I will say, Lauren, like, you were going in.
32:30Like, you were going, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm.
32:32But was she giving it to get it?
32:34Oh, yeah, don't get me wrong.
32:35It's not like that came out of nowhere from Lauren.
32:37I mean, she's been giving it a lot easily to everyone.
32:40She has, and I do agree.
32:41I mean, she started with me.
32:42With me, yeah.
32:43She started with you.
32:43She's coming for me, and then it went...
32:45Yeah, and I do agree.
32:46I had told her that.
32:47I did say that.
32:47Third time lucky, mate.
32:48You got it.
32:49You know, you keep pushing, you will get it.
32:51I already know that when someone attacks me, I go back twice as hard, twice as horrible.
32:57So don't bother, because you're not going to like what comes out my mouth.
33:00Why does she feel so entitled to feel that she needs to kind of know why I'm back in the
33:05group?
33:05I don't disagree with you.
33:07It's something that she said to Seema that she never thought you'd hear about
33:10or would get back to you.
33:11She likes you.
33:12Well, it doesn't sound like she likes me if she says those things about me behind my back, does it?
33:16I was with Seema in a car, and I asked her why Namina was hanging around with us.
33:23As a social climber, coming to these parties is a bit of a beg.
33:27Are these words harsh?
33:28Yeah, but Lauren says what she means.
33:31And I don't necessarily disagree with her.
33:34And she explained to me that she is launching a new equestrian outfit.
33:41And she wants to be in the right circles for that.
33:44To promote that. To promote it.
33:46And I said, I get it.
33:50When I met Lauren and, you know, when I met you girls, I was a different person back then.
33:53Most of the time I wouldn't actually fight back, but I'm a fighter. I've been through absolute shit in my
33:57life.
33:57And I will fight you. If I have to, I will fight you. I'm not going to just swallow it
34:00because that's the person you are.
34:02With Lauren, it could go one of either two ways. She could reflect and be apologetic or she could get
34:09really defensive and make it worse.
34:11I mean, I really hope that it's not the latter. I hope that's your sixth time.
34:14I hope so too, because I do not know how I will react at this point and moment of time.
34:18You know, I just don't know.
34:31Tonight, I've really pulled out the stops. I've spared no expense.
34:36I've got two chefs from London to make sure that the food is on point.
34:39I want this to be the most lovely, warm, welcoming last supper that we have together to finish the retreat
34:46off.
34:50I'd like everyone to be seated. Remember how to manoeuvre your chairs.
34:54Oh, yes. Thanks for that. Oh, I love it.
34:58You're not meant to put your handbag on the table, are you? And we all have. Every single one of
35:03us have.
35:08Sheena, can I just say, because you've had that wonderful activity of learning how to...
35:13Oh, my God. It was. Could you do the honours with the champagne?
35:17Yeah, we got it. I'll open the bottle, but not like that.
35:20Do you know what, though, Ampika? What a great activity.
35:23Great party trick that I'm definitely going to take. Oh, yes. I freaking love that sword.
35:27That was like a... All right.
35:29Ampika clearly was not messing around when she said Tom had a big sword.
35:34Mm.
35:36It was so fun. I was thinking, like, a movie.
35:38I love my own alpaca. Oh, it was an ugly thing.
35:41Was it Winston? Winston. No, you had Winston.
35:43Oh, he was fuming. He had a proper, grumpy face.
35:46I thought you looked very similar to it. I did, too, with the black cap on.
35:49I thought, like, pet-like owner, honestly.
35:50I've had a brownie, thank you. The guy that did your brownie.
35:54Oh! Fucking hell!
35:56Oh!
35:57Bloody hell, Sheena. Why are we fellas shook them with fright?
36:00To peekaboo, thank you. Thank you so much.
36:02Thank you for participating. I've got some wonderful adventurers.
36:06Each and every one of you from the bottom of my heart.
36:08To get all of your diaries where someone's free without childcare,
36:12without animal problems, without work,
36:14to get you all together.
36:16Talking about diaries, I've messed up, girls.
36:19I thought Ralphie's game was tomorrow, and it's tonight,
36:21so I'm going to have to scoot off mid...
36:25Football mum life.
36:27If I missed Ralphie's first game for his new club,
36:30he would never forgive me, and I wouldn't forgive myself.
36:32The mum guilt.
36:34It's my brain. I can't remember dates.
36:36It's like an actual flump.
36:39Wish him good luck from us.
36:40I love you, I love you, I love you.
36:41Bye. Drive safe. Bye.
36:44How did you meet David?
36:46How did you guys meet?
36:47Through a blind date.
36:48So, about 17 years ago, I went on a date.
36:51He was with somebody, but he was never married,
36:53he never lived with anybody.
36:54He lived his life as a single man.
36:57So I said, you've got to make a decision
36:58whether you're going to stay with the partner
37:00who you've had your children with,
37:02or whether you want to be with me,
37:04and that's not a threat.
37:05And he just said, I've made my mind up,
37:07I want to be with you.
37:09Aww.
37:10So, yeah.
37:11I think life is full of ups and downs for everybody,
37:14but I always say to people that good things happen to good people.
37:18And I've been a very good person the majority of my life,
37:22and that's why I've got my happily ever after.
37:25I work hard and make my own money.
37:26I said to them when we get married,
37:27I'm happy to sign a prenup, get the prenup written.
37:30I really believe in prenup.
37:32I think, as well, going through what we've gone through
37:35and single-handedly supporting a family,
37:37when you get back on the dating apps,
37:40men also find it quite intimidating
37:41when a woman is totally in their alpha energy.
37:45Yes.
37:45Which I don't want to be in my alpha energy.
37:47I don't.
37:48But the fact is...
37:50I'm like...
37:51Aww, Ray.
37:52Why are you going upset now?
37:54Don't be silly.
37:54You know, I get it.
37:55You're being a mum and a dad and everything at once.
37:59I can relate to how Rachel feels.
38:02We've both gone through similar experiences in our life,
38:05but what they say is,
38:06what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
38:08Sometimes you just have to put your big girl knickers on
38:10and get on with it.
38:12I carry everything, you know, and it's a lot of stress.
38:16Yeah.
38:16So I'm always in my alpha energy, and I hate it.
38:19Yeah.
38:20Because...
38:20You do it so well, you wish you wouldn't have to.
38:22I wish I wouldn't have to, and I like to soften,
38:25but also, you know, even what I earn,
38:28they find it intimidating.
38:29I feel like sometimes you can't win.
38:31You work so hard, so you are independent,
38:33you don't need to rely on anyone,
38:35but then they don't like it when you work so hard.
38:38I also put the children first.
38:40I always will do.
38:41Nick and probably any other man that I might meet
38:44is going to find that really frustrating
38:46that they're not the top of my list.
38:48But when you're a mum of five,
38:50how can anyone be above your kids?
38:52I think I would only date older.
38:53I do, I just, I like an older man.
38:56Oh, so do I, Rachel.
38:57We know you do.
38:59You don't say.
39:01Could you imagine me around an old folks home?
39:03I'd be lethal.
39:03Oh, my goodness.
39:07Where's Peekaboo?
39:15Did you feel like you've had a lot of, you know,
39:17judgment around the age gap?
39:19A hell of a lot, yeah, and a lot of abuse on social media.
39:22I think, one, because of the age gap,
39:24and two, because of David's wealth.
39:26I think people are very judgmental in general
39:27when it comes to age gaps.
39:29Jealous, also a little bit jealous of the situation.
39:32I get it from all angles.
39:34It's not about interraciality,
39:35it's more the fact that we're interfaith.
39:36Like, obviously, I know I have converted,
39:37but I still get it a lot from, you know,
39:39a lot of the communities.
39:41Paige, have you changed your fashion sense
39:43since being with Amir, would you say?
39:44No, I actually haven't.
39:45I've made it my kind of strength to be me.
39:49Would you wear revealing things?
39:50I've never really been one to have my boobs out too much,
39:53but that's mainly because I don't like my boobs.
39:55I'm so happy.
39:55Not because...
39:56Because I actually, I don't think you realise.
39:58You said something.
39:59You know, at Rachel's...
40:00Murder mystery.
40:01Murder mystery.
40:02You said to me,
40:03you look gorgeous,
40:04but Amir would never let me leave the house.
40:06Oh, no, he wouldn't.
40:07And that is...
40:08Sadly, that's the honest truth.
40:09He probably wouldn't.
40:10He would have a go at me.
40:16Oh, my God, Amir would kill me.
40:17He was like...
40:18I mean, he would love it,
40:19but he'd be like, no.
40:20No.
40:22That felt a little bit judgmental, you know?
40:24Oh, my God, towards you.
40:24It felt a little bit like,
40:25oh, he would never let me go out of the house.
40:27Oh, no, no, no, no.
40:28So, I felt really happy and, you know,
40:30I felt like I dressed you apart.
40:32You thought I judged you?
40:33I felt a little bit judged there.
40:35This is so weird,
40:37because wasn't Paige the one that ran out after Namina
40:40when she was running out of the house?
40:41She was really upset
40:41and actually spent the rest of the night with her.
40:44And now for Namina to kind of turn on her
40:46and pick at her for something, like, so petty,
40:50that's not very good.
40:52I think it sounded like you were maybe saying
40:54that she was disrespecting her husband
40:56by going out like that,
40:57and they're not like that.
40:58This is a bit of a stretch.
40:59He completely trusts whatever she wears.
41:01This is a bit of a reach, girls.
41:02This is a bit of a reach.
41:03I'm completely lost.
41:04If Namina had such a problem with what I said,
41:07why is she waiting until now to tell me?
41:09Why am I getting, like, penalized?
41:12No, no, no.
41:12You're not being attacked.
41:13You're not being attacked.
41:14Oh, my God.
41:15Like, my God.
41:16Let me have a go at a man.
41:17Like, it's just my personal views.
41:19I never judge anyone for what they look like, do,
41:21or anything.
41:22I respect that.
41:22Please don't make me.
41:24I am not a judge.
41:25I have been judged all my life.
41:28No, I'm getting pissed.
41:29I'm not going to become a judgey person,
41:30because I never judge anyone.
41:32I have been through it.
41:34I have been there.
41:35I have been the person who was fucking judged.
41:38I have a community where I am not.
41:40Don't fit in.
41:41I am judging every walk of my religion,
41:44everything that I do.
41:44I would never fucking judge anyone.
41:48Is your husband happy for you to go out
41:51in whatever you've got on?
41:53Yes?
41:54Then crack on.
41:55Why do you care about somebody's opinion?
41:58Babes, if you're going to wear a see-through outfit,
42:00be confident in it and crack on.
42:03Don't make me like a judgey person.
42:05Are you going to let me speak or not?
42:07Let's just calm down.
42:08Let's just calm down.
42:09I respect that you apologise,
42:11and I feel like we should just leave it there.
42:12Okay, well, I can...
42:13But I feel...
42:13I heard you, I heard you,
42:15and I'm sorry you fart that way.
42:16Okay.
42:16And I don't think you think the people you speak,
42:18and this is a positive thing.
42:21She doesn't think before she speaks.
42:22She doesn't.
42:23What about you?
42:24Well, you've not stopped speaking, missus.
42:26Well, am I allowed to speak or not?
42:28Well, have you slay?
42:29Go for it.
42:29You're holding court, so continue.
42:31No, I'm not.
42:34Namina's forming a little bit of a pattern here.
42:37First it was me, then it was Paige,
42:39now it's Lauren.
42:40Look out, girls, who's next?
42:42I was with Seema on the way home,
42:45and I said,
42:46how come Namina's hanging around again
42:48and she's becoming a bit of a beck?
42:50By saying that, you're basically...
42:51You don't know what I said.
42:52I'm just...
42:53Well, you just said it.
42:53I appreciate my time more than anything in life.
42:58Which is why I couldn't understand
42:59why you would come to these parties.
43:00I choose to be around people where I want...
43:02Why not?
43:03I want to celebrate life.
43:04I want to be around people that are like...
43:06I actually like these girls.
43:09You should actually say,
43:11to Seema turn around,
43:12and not question it,
43:13and say...
43:13I am allowed to question why...
43:15No, you should, as a friend...
43:16I did.
43:17As a friend, you say,
43:17good on her for being around again...
43:20...after everything she's been through.
43:22And I did at the end.
43:23At the end?
43:24No.
43:24But why question it in the fucking first place, Lauren?
43:27Because I couldn't understand
43:28why anybody would want to come to an event
43:31and be an extra.
43:32I've never been a fucking extra.
43:34Where are you getting that from?
43:35I've never been an extra.
43:37No, you haven't.
43:38And that's why I couldn't understand
43:39why you were there.
43:40I'm getting myself back.
43:41I've been quiet for three years,
43:43fighting something behind the scenes.
43:44I understand that.
43:47I think Namina's one of the strongest girls
43:49going through what she's been through.
43:50My father had cancer.
43:51And I don't think it ever leaves you.
43:52I'm trying to get back out there.
43:54Build my business.
43:55And I said...
43:56Being around girls.
43:57And me being here.
43:58Well done to Seema.
43:59Being here with girls like you.
44:01The word beg is not nice.
44:02And I apologise.
44:03I shouldn't have said it.
44:05I think you used the wrong word.
44:05But why Seema said the word beg?
44:07Why she repeated it all?
44:09And actually,
44:09if you're going to repeat a conversation,
44:11I have no problem.
44:12But say the end.
44:13The end was,
44:14I'm glad that you're here.
44:15Yeah.
44:17If there's anything that Seema needs to learn,
44:19it's to keep her mouth firmly closed.
44:21Because all of this, Seema,
44:23is down to you.
44:26I do feel like a conversation
44:28is going to have to be had with Seema
44:30to find out what she's said and done.
44:33At this point,
44:34I don't understand why she's done it.
44:36But there has to be a reason.
44:37Because this is not making sense to me right now.
44:51Next time,
44:52on The Real Housewives of Cheshire.
44:53Oh, my God.
44:54Right.
44:56Brain freeze.
44:56Ah!
44:57Fucking hell!
44:58Fuck me!
45:00How are you feeling?
45:01You're very stiff.
45:02It's literally like someone's pulling my skin.
45:05What did you say?
45:08We've got a lot of stress with our house.
45:10I always am able to manage my stress.
45:12And I'm finding it the most hard
45:14to talk to him,
45:16the closest person to me.
45:17Ring me!
45:18You never ring me!
45:18But I didn't hear you!
45:19She has sent messages to you
45:21to invite you out
45:22and you have...
45:23Fine!
45:24I've got my freaking messages!
45:26Polka dot princess
45:27has polka dot.
45:42Would youuu...
46:00Because that is better!
46:00I've had one more time,
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