- 20 hours ago
The Beauty - Season 1 - Episode 04: Beautiful Chimp Face
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00:06Okay, what's my favorite film?
00:09Ah, that's, okay, Conformist.
00:12It was a tie, and last thing though.
00:17Okay, look at that.
00:25Wow.
00:26Okay, favorite author?
00:29Dr. Seuss.
00:31Yes, and?
00:32Uh, Simone de Beauvoir.
00:34Correct.
00:37Best kiss.
00:38I mean, that we've had.
00:40First one.
00:42And the last one.
00:45Are we going down here?
00:46Yeah.
00:47Shit.
00:48Come on.
00:51Careful.
00:51Woo!
00:54Woo!
00:56You got a coin?
00:58Come on, we've got to make a wish.
00:59Who's got coins?
01:02Oh, I do.
01:03You do?
01:04Gelato.
01:05No, you go first.
01:06You first.
01:07No.
01:08You.
01:20Well, what did you wish for?
01:21I can't tell you.
01:22Come on.
01:23It won't come true.
01:24No.
01:25Come on.
01:25Tell me.
01:26Tell me.
01:27Okay.
01:29Okay.
01:30I'm really wishing.
01:31I'm really wishing.
01:33And praying.
01:36That you do not fall in love with me.
01:39Okay.
01:40And, and why would that be?
01:43Mm-hmm.
01:43Well, there's so much you're going to miss about me when I'm gone.
01:46Like what?
01:48I like how I do not snore.
01:52You don't?
01:53And how I pull out the chairs for you at restaurants.
01:56And open doors.
01:58That's true.
01:59And how I kiss you from head to toe.
02:00Mm.
02:02Stopping for a while somewhere in the middle.
02:05A very long time.
02:07Mm.
02:09I do like that.
02:11I know.
02:29We're ready for you.
02:34Your interview subject's name is Ashley Sanders.
02:36And she is?
02:38He.
02:38Condé Nast Stafford within blast range.
02:45Hey, Ashley.
02:46I'm Special Agent Cooper Madsen.
02:48Hi, Ashley Sanders.
02:52It's some outfit they got you in.
02:55Yeah.
02:59So, uh, you saw this, uh,
03:04Harper Rose walk into the cafeteria?
03:07Yes.
03:08And how was she?
03:10Pale, um, shaky.
03:14Uh, not herself.
03:16And I stayed away, you know, I was, like,
03:19away across the room, you know?
03:21I thought she'd fucking go over or some shit.
03:22I didn't want to catch it.
03:23Yeah.
03:25Did you know the people sitting with her?
03:27Um, yes.
03:29I mean, kind of.
03:30Not really.
03:31Um, Brittany, the one that she, um...
03:37Throw out the window?
03:38Yeah.
03:39Um, she was, uh, she was cool.
03:43She, she, she gave some lip balms once.
03:45You know?
03:46In Vogue, they get all these, like, amazing, cool products,
03:48but most of the girls who work there are, like,
03:51total snobs.
03:52They're, like, third-generation wealth
03:53who pulled some strings,
03:54get some entry-level dream job,
03:56and now they all look down at guys like me.
03:57Like, you know.
03:59Why?
04:00Because I work at GQ,
04:01and I'm, like, the assistant fitness editor,
04:03and that's, like, below them or something.
04:05I knew the, um, gay guy, too.
04:07How?
04:08Um, not to be homophobic or anything,
04:11but he was sort of notorious for, like,
04:14hanging around the men's bathrooms
04:16and checking the fitness dude's cocks
04:18out of the urinals and stuff like that.
04:19So, um, yeah, he was always, like, cruisy,
04:23and, um, I don't know,
04:25I never had a problem showing off,
04:26so I'd give him a little show
04:27and, I don't know, maybe feel superior
04:29and, like, pick me up on down days, I guess.
04:33Sorry. I don't know why I'm telling you this.
04:35No, it's all right. It's all right.
04:37Um, so you knew Harper?
04:40Yeah.
04:41In what way?
04:43She was, like, sort of so beautiful,
04:47like, unattainable, you know,
04:50kind of a snobby bitch, honestly.
04:52Like, yeah, she was new in town,
04:55she, she didn't really know anybody,
04:56and, um, it started with me, like,
04:59taking her to clubs, concerts and everything.
05:04Yeah, I think I actually really...
05:08I think I actually really loved her.
05:09Um, yeah, I loved her.
05:23Hey. It's gonna be all right. Okay?
05:30It's okay. It's okay. I'm gonna be all right.
05:32Thanks.
05:45I'm not, like...
05:47I just thank you for being kind, man.
05:48I'm, like,
05:49they've kind of been treating us like animals,
05:51you know?
05:52It...
05:53Fuck, man.
05:54It's just, like,
05:56the end of the world.
05:59Not if I can help it.
06:02Why the fuck did she explode?
06:03Is she, like, a suicide bomber,
06:05or, like, fucking terrorist?
06:06Well, that's what we're trying to figure out.
06:11You know, they took my blood, um,
06:15without asking me.
06:16Uh, they didn't tell me, like,
06:18what it was for or why.
06:21Um, do you know when we're gonna get those results?
06:25I do not.
06:31Anyway.
06:33Yeah, so it was, like, personal for me,
06:35um,
06:37I loved her, uh,
06:39even if she didn't
06:40love me back.
06:41You know,
06:43we fucked a few times.
06:44She ghosted me.
06:45It was, like,
06:45one of those.
06:46You had sex with her?
06:49Dude.
06:50Oral, anal, everything.
06:52Did you use protection?
06:53I mean, honestly, like,
06:54I'm not sure if, like, kissed her,
06:56like,
06:56but, like,
06:57she was a fucking freak
07:00in the sack.
07:02Like, a lion.
07:02Like, I couldn't kill him.
07:04Like, rough shit.
07:05Like, I would, like,
07:06pull her hair.
07:07I'm gonna get off.
07:08Dude, also,
07:09they're, like,
07:09un-questionable.
07:11un-questionable.
07:13In the sack.
07:14What?
07:15When I'm, like,
07:15it's gonna be messed up.
07:17I couldn't kill him.
07:19I couldn't kill him.
07:21What's happening?
07:22Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
07:24Hey!
07:24What did I do?
07:25Hey!
07:26Hey, help me!
07:27Please, help me!
07:27Easy!
07:28Easy!
07:31Freeze!
07:32Stop moving!
07:32We will shoot!
07:42We are a possible infected.
07:44Repeat,
07:45possible infected down here.
08:09They had lost
08:10a hero while talking over the mountain.
08:10You can find it!
08:10They can lie down here.
08:10In the��...
08:11To be'.
08:25It's not me!
08:25It's not me,
08:27It's not me.
08:27Just find us a poised wolf.
09:29One second.
09:31I need to call my boyfriend.
09:32Please.
09:33Please.
09:34Just for a second.
09:35I don't want to see where he's going.
09:38I'm sorry.
09:38I'm sorry.
09:39I'm sorry.
09:40I'm sorry.
09:41I'm sorry.
09:42I'm sorry.
09:48I'm sorry.
09:49Oh, fuck.
09:49That hurts.
09:50Please.
09:51Please tell me what's going on.
09:53Okay?
09:54Please.
09:55Please.
09:56There's a person in here.
09:57Okay?
09:57Oh, God.
10:01Oh, fuck.
10:04I just don't understand why I have to be strapped in here.
10:06Okay?
10:07Please.
10:07Just talk to me like a person.
10:10Dang it.
10:11Just give me a problem.
10:12This is the last one.
10:12Okay?
10:14What is that for?
10:15Fuck.
10:17Hi, Manny.
10:20Fuck.
10:20Who are you?
10:21My name is Cooper.
10:22Are you going to help me?
10:23Please.
10:23Can you get me out of here?
10:24I'm just trying to get out of here.
10:25I just want to see my mom.
10:26Okay?
10:26Fuck.
10:28Fuck.
10:29Somebody help me, please.
10:30Manny, relax.
10:31Relax.
10:31My name is Cooper.
10:33I'm here to ask you some questions, okay?
10:35What?
10:35Like a fucking FBI agent or something?
10:37Yeah.
10:39That's...
10:39Are you kidding?
10:40I was joking.
10:40Are you serious?
10:41That was a guess.
10:42Oh, my God.
10:43Fuck.
10:44Is this a joke?
10:45Okay.
10:46Okay.
10:46Something's going on with me, okay?
10:47I'm really hot.
10:48I'm so fucking hot.
10:49Okay?
10:50Are you hot?
10:50Look, I...
10:51I know you're hot.
10:52Clearly you're hot.
10:53That's not what I mean.
10:53You're hot.
10:54In your mask.
10:54You're hot.
10:55But, like, are you burning up?
11:01Get out of here, please?
11:02I'll see what I can do, okay?
11:05Your friend Harper...
11:06Yeah, the one who blew up in my fucking face?
11:08Can you think of anyone else she was spending time with?
11:10Who the fuck knows?
11:11She's a hot, stuck-up gash.
11:14It's that glow in her eyes right before she went fucking nuts.
11:16That's what's burned into my mind.
11:18Okay?
11:19What the fuck was that?
11:20Like, what's going on?
11:21Is she an alien?
11:21Is she a robot?
11:22Alright, alright.
11:23Just try to relax.
11:24Relax.
11:24I'll relax when somebody tells me what I can get the fuck out of here!
11:26Talk about that when we get these fever spikes under control.
11:29You should stand back.
11:30What do you mean?
11:30Why stand back?
11:31Why do you have to stand back?
11:32What's wrong with me?
11:33Please, don't do that.
11:34Please, stop.
11:35Please.
11:35Just talk to me like a person, okay?
11:37This is so fucking in you, babe.
11:39Please, you're fucking assholes.
11:42Please.
11:42They said that I was positive, but I've been on prep for years, okay?
11:45That's gonna help, right?
11:46Won't that help?
11:47We're waiting on the CDC labs for guidance.
11:49The CDC?
11:50Fuck, that doesn't sound good.
11:52Oh my God.
11:52This is something unfamiliar.
11:56That's why contact tracing is so important right now.
11:58Okay, can you at least...
12:00Please, can you get someone to bring me my dogs?
12:02Okay?
12:02They have really bad anxiety and my boyfriend always forgets their meds.
12:05Pooh hair has Crohn's disease.
12:07He's gonna shit all over my ribs!
12:08Sir, if you don't relax, we're gonna be forced to medicate.
12:12Please.
12:13Manny, I'm gonna see what I can do about your dogs, okay?
12:17What kind of dogs you have?
12:19Uh, Labradoodle.
12:20I'm a Terrier.
12:22I had a Jack Russell growing up.
12:24A smart dog.
12:26You ditched it on the carpet a lot though.
12:28Yeah.
12:34Listen, Manny, I know this is difficult, but you're gonna be okay.
12:42I'm scared, man. I'm scared.
12:58Manny, I need you to think.
13:01Who else was Harper spending time with?
13:09You know, it's funny. I used to hate holding people's hands.
13:13I drove every boyfriend I ever had crazy.
13:16Sweaty palms are gross, right?
13:19Anyways, bottoming and like giving head and stuff.
13:22That's more my love language anyway.
13:25But...
13:27What's gonna happen to me?
13:29They won't let my family in here.
13:34As soon as I get the green light, I'm gonna make sure they're right by your side.
13:38Yeah.
13:38Okay?
13:39Okay?
13:46Oh! Fuck!
13:48The card waved's gone through the room.
13:50Manny?
13:50Manny, stay with me, Manny.
13:52What's going on? What the fuck is happening?
13:54Don't ruin it for help me here.
13:55Don't ruin it for helping me.
13:55Please stop doing that.
14:01Somebody help me, please!
14:03Somebody help me!
14:07Somebody help me!
14:28Help!
14:34Help!
14:34Help!
14:36Help!
14:37Help!
14:37Help!
14:38Help!
14:41Help!
14:46Get down!
14:48Get down!
14:52Jesus Christ!
15:03Help!
15:04Somebody help me!
15:09Feel the goddamn exit!
15:15Help! Somebody help me!
15:21Feel the goddamn exit!
15:33Help!
15:36Help!
15:41Help!
15:41Help!
15:54Oh, my God.
16:22Oh, my God.
16:52Chimps, man.
16:54Cute and cuddly.
16:56Until they're not.
16:58I blame that goddamn curious George.
17:01Everyone thinks they can be the man in the yellow hat.
17:04Did you hear the 911 call?
17:06Can you hear the friend scream?
17:07You know, the monkey goes ape shit.
17:10I hear he ate her face after he ripped it off.
17:39Hello.
17:39Who wants to know.
17:58All the sake of love.
17:58I know.
17:59There's no idea.
17:59You look at what you're saying.
18:01How do you say?
18:01Can you take the fright of me?
18:13What the?
18:25Open it.
18:27Officer.
18:27Open the door!
18:28Officer!
18:29You need to understand, sir.
18:30FBI!
18:30Open the fucking door!
18:31Right now!
18:51Open the door!
19:09Breathtaking, isn't it?
19:14What the fuck are these?
19:16They're turning a tragedy into hope.
19:19To call them donors is crass.
19:23I call them my epidermis angels.
19:29Beautiful people.
19:31Who left the earth far too soon.
19:34But who were so generous as to pass along their good fortune unto others.
19:41Skin grass, preserved in their entirety and waiting to be gifted.
19:50Protect them, please.
19:52Do not let beauty be wasted on the dead.
19:55Poet.
20:04Poet.
20:06Poet.
20:18Poet.
20:23Poet.
20:35What the fuck am I?
20:45What the fuck am I?
20:50You did this to me!
21:24You did this to me!
21:24I did this to me!
21:41What have you done?
21:43My angels.
21:46Enough popcorn to stop a Grizzly.
21:56We have the place to surround it.
22:04Stay where you are.
22:08Turn around slowly.
22:11Now.
22:12Don't shoot.
22:13We eat them alive.
22:14All right.
22:56Wait.
22:57Wait.
22:57Wait.
22:58Wait.
23:16Wait.
23:38Fuck.
24:01Oh, my God.
24:09Huh.
24:31Buongiorno.
24:32Yo, what's up?
24:35Grazie.
24:36Can we work on him a little bit, please?
24:37Yes.
24:39Can you see that?
24:56I like this child right there.
24:57That's beautiful.
24:58Thanks.
24:58I'm so crazy.
25:03Coming home intoxicated.
25:05I said I just wanna love you.
25:08I just wanna love you, baby.
25:11Yes, that's why I'm so elated.
25:13Come on, girl.
25:14Give it to me, baby.
25:15Give it to me, baby.
25:17Woo!
25:19Make it tighter.
25:22Give it to me, baby.
25:23Give it to me, baby.
25:24Give it to me, baby.
25:24Tighter.
25:26I bet you.
25:26I'll make you hop like your head is enough.
25:30Woo!
25:35Tighter.
25:39Leaker.
25:42Give it to me.
25:43Give it to me.
25:44Give me that stuff.
25:44That funk, that sweet.
25:45That funk is there.
25:46Give it to me.
25:47Give me that stuff.
25:48That funk, that sweet.
25:49That funk is there.
25:50Give it to me.
25:51Give it to me.
25:52Yeah.
25:52Give it to me.
25:53Give it to me.
25:54Give it to me.
25:56Now we're talking
26:13No
26:15I told you no saliva exchange ever that's over for you now not that you ever had it and
26:22No blowjobs for you either pre come as a contagion agent. Those are the rules for you now
26:30No, you're doing good
26:42Big finish
26:48Jesus
26:56Yeah
26:59All right
27:01Good
27:02Grazie Maria
27:03It's always good to see you
27:06Okay, well, thank you for the tutelage. It's always a pleasure
27:10I'll see you soon. No, you won't his dick was too big. I went to work straight for a week
27:26Oh, it's shit. There you go
27:30All right
27:32Oh
27:35All right
27:36All right, well pack your bags
27:37We'll be in something
27:39Where?
27:40CDC
27:41They got a live one
27:52It's a good day
27:53It's a good day
27:54It's a good day
27:56It's a good day
27:57I'm oh that's good to see you
28:11We'll be in something
28:12Oh, you're on it
28:15We're on it
28:17We're on it
28:17I'm on it
28:17Yeah
28:29How I look forward to my monthly poe, Craig.
28:33My skin gets tighter, my ass gets higher, I can fuck five times a day, it'd still be hard as
28:37a rock.
28:38Science is amazing.
28:42I have to say, sir, you look surprisingly buoyant, considering what's happening out there.
28:47It's a good day, Ray. It's a very good fucking day.
28:51Michael Bay chopped his post-production schedule so all the digital and linear advertising shot will be ready to roll
28:56out by September 9th.
28:58World Beauty Day. It'll be here before we know it.
29:02World Beauty Day, sir?
29:03World Beauty Day is a holiday that already exists. It was created as an opportunity to meditate on what beauty
29:09means to us.
29:10So fucking lame. Meaningless. Like a fucking Arbor Day.
29:13Not anymore. I'm co-opting it. It's mine. It's our pharmaceutical launch, D-Day.
29:19Exploding models on cell phone cameras is not ideal, but this kind of negative exposure was always baked in the
29:24cake.
29:25Whenever you have cutting-edge, market-expanding stuff like this, you're gonna have product hijackers and black market salesmen ripping
29:31you off.
29:31The cock is out of the condom, my friend. It's a little sooner than I'd hoped for, but between social
29:37media and legacy, it's a goddamn miracle I've been able to keep a lid on things as long as I
29:41have.
29:43Sadly, we anticipated this scenario.
29:47I anticipated this.
29:49After your lab coat losers stole my formula, I've spent every waking minute trying to keep this fucking leaky-ass
29:56boat afloat.
29:57You have no patience. Progress is still being made. The product perfected.
30:05You've had fucking years, okay, dude? Do I strike you as a progress kind of guy? Like a half-measure,
30:11mediocrity, clappity-clap, A for effort type fuck?
30:15Ignition ketosis has proven to be a very difficult problem to solve.
30:18Yeah, well, now it's gonna drive sales.
30:20Between Paris and this cafeteria calamity, I'm embracing the pivot.
30:23We're focusing on these. The boosters.
30:27They solve our side effects, they buy us time, and they're gonna make me a shit-ton of money.
30:31That's not sustainable. You can't be so short-sighted.
30:35Clearly, you're not tolerating the new formula as well as I'd hoped.
30:38Do you think this hypomaniac business harangue is the side effect of the doses wearing off?
30:45Better make it a holiday pour, just to be safe.
30:54Considering we're on day 1,238, I'd say we're doing quite well.
31:00That's exactly why we're accelerating the business plan.
31:03No more testing, no more protocols. September 9th, World Beauty Day.
31:07It's on the fucking schedule.
31:08Even if we abandon testing phases.
31:10Mm, double production.
31:12I buy another factory, I don't give a shit.
31:14I already told the quarter zip some marketing to buy up all the digital ad inventory, so it's happening.
31:18It's done.
31:18Further testing is needed.
31:20Clearly, it's been mutating.
31:22Out in the wild, changing its behavior, creating new versions.
31:26None of that matters.
31:27I'm giving them an injectable Instagram filter.
31:31This is the attention economy.
31:33Instant gratification at all costs.
31:36We live in a world of perpetual upgrades, from iPhones to toothpaste to semi-glutides.
31:41If my Ponce de Leon boosters keep them alive and forever young, they'll be begging for it.
31:46Like a diabetic cries out for insulin.
31:49That's like, what, six shots a day?
31:51There he is.
31:52Hey.
31:54Hey.
31:54Hey.
31:57Hey.
31:57You know what, Ray?
31:58Just to spite you, water down the doses.
32:00We'll double production.
32:01Instead of once a month, we'll give them to them once a week.
32:03Price stays the same.
32:04Good talk, Ray.
32:28Hello.
32:29You've reached me, Jordan.
32:31Then-
32:38Okay, that's still gonna happen.
33:01Then-
33:05Oh, Cooper!
33:06Hi, Mrs. Ellen.
33:07I'm so happy to see you.
33:08You've been traveling for so long.
33:10Yeah, yeah.
33:12Uh, I'm just here to pick up nine lives.
33:18My cat?
33:19I'm so sorry.
33:21Nine lives died two months ago.
33:26I'm so sorry.
33:31Ugh.
34:01I'm so sorry.
34:01I'm so sorry.
34:15I'm so sorry.
34:21I'm so sorry.
34:33Jordan?
34:59Jordan?
35:00Can I help you?
35:01Cooper.
35:05I'm sorry, do I know you?
35:07Cooper, it's me.
35:10It's Jordan.
35:36I'm sorry, do I know you?
35:37I'm sorry, do I know you?
35:37I'm sorry, I can help you.
36:20Transcription by CastingWords
36:50CastingWords
36:55CastingWords
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