- 5 hours ago
The Audacity S01E05 (2026)
Category
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TVTranscript
00:10you should see the other guy
00:14no, really
00:16I took everything from him
00:37hey, guy, hey, buddy, why does your desk have a patina of like crumbs and disrespect
00:45hi, hey, I need you to get it together today, it's Bardoff day
00:49Carl Bardoff is on his way, and what are you going to say to a man like him?
00:55nothing, nothing, you're an MPC
00:58no, no, no, MPCs don't talk
01:01especially not when Bardoff's here, okay?
01:03didn't he, like, invent spam?
01:05excuse me, you are not fit to wipe the ass of the guy who wipes Bardoff's ass
01:09and no, he didn't invent spam, he made the platform which made it insanely profitable
01:16yes, Bardoff invented the future
01:18no, yeah, yes, hey, bright smiley faces today
01:23yes, yes
01:45come on, there's still some crumbs
01:52take photos hey carl carl carl carl welcome hey is that makeup all right you see where smoke
02:00closed last night up 17 i hope you took that bet and don't forget to short it and long it
02:05you're gonna tell me how you did it oh look at you seeching me already and non-violently i like
02:11that i like this new you we'll show you everything once we settle on board seats okay yes on that
02:17uh my main man here uh stan good man you met him last time what do you think about one
02:22seat for
02:22me and one for my number two here you let him call you that how about four we'll just do
02:28a whole
02:28dinner set two is appropriate oh you'd really feel better with two but i would not but your
02:35enthusiasm for what we do in the area of predictive making a fuckton is noted perhaps we should um
02:41hold off on the pictures while we figure this out still have some questions
02:47do we still then to the dunkin den follow me
03:00sit sit sit can i get you a yerba mate how about a nitro tea
03:06nope how about 300 million for two seats and a 200 premium for half your voting shares
03:12founders class no not giving up my class a enhanced voting rights or human rights for me but um
03:20one seat for 300 with uh performance milestones towards uh second i think we are putting the cart
03:28before the horseshit here how did you know about orlando either that was some sort of trick or
03:32no wasn't a trick at all then prove it like i said once you're on board i could be on
03:38board a
03:38giga yacht right now sipping a 300 year old cognac with an android beverly d'angelo but i'm here
03:46i just want to look under the hood before i buy the damn car car car car you are a
03:51legend
03:51a crotchety jedi master and i want you inside too but like as a hunchback monk whispering into the
04:00king's ear of course signaling to the streets that we are worth the investment no no no no i have
04:05taken too much shrapnel to be anybody's dancing bear duncan period duncan yes is it okay if carl and
04:10i confab on your couch over there you're gonna get your number two all over my couch that's funny
04:16of course of course give him room gentlemen we will be right back
04:37what nana marx did she die
04:42source that cupertino has confirmed hypergnosis is not being acquired by the tech giant
04:47ceo duncan parker was suspect of leaking news of the buyout
04:56can you kill the internet kill them kill the internet
05:05i can turn off the wi-fi
05:11for a second there i thought you were a unicorn turns out you're just a jackass with a dildo taped
05:15to his head this is just static carl uh a reporter just trying to stir the pot you know you
05:21know and
05:22i know what wall street doesn't okay i mean the algo the predictive algo orlando how much money did
05:28you meet huh tim hi yeah well listen you're a piece of shit too uh-huh yeah i heard is
05:36it true
05:37meeting didn't even happen dead less than an hour okay thank you and eat me
05:42cupertino tim really you hate him he's lying he
05:45okay two seats two seats okay you're twisting my arm here what's our stock out now huh what's the
05:51price down ten percent then jump on in jump on in grab the glory you know stop that slide you
05:58know
05:58it all sounds a little bit too spry for a hunchback monk like me listen right i'm i am sorry
06:03i am sorry
06:04you are superman i'm i'm lolis lane okay so how about you fly around the world
06:08you know turn back time kiss me back to life i i i i i am i am what am
06:12i doing
06:30oh yeah oh it's been a while since i smelled man blood nummy nummy nice damn where's it at now
06:38same buying gets a 17 percent of the company oh hold on that's refreshing no 18 percent
06:44you you go down this route you get nothing you lose me permanently 19 percent
06:52hold on 20.7 percent oh that's a nice slice of beef right there but duncan only owns 20
07:00who's duncan
07:20duncan um that's my phone
07:2720.9 percent okay bye
07:31and uh okay bye
07:53must you
08:06you
08:07you
08:08you
08:09you
08:19you
08:20you
08:27morning xander
08:31hey what are you doing back there oh hello martin i i messed up what's that on your forehead buddy
08:40come closer
08:44i'm sorry i'll get rid of it was that a bruise or i may have had an accident
08:50playing with the haptics stupid me my fault my fault my fault my fault
08:56xander stop that nothing's your fault now let's get to the bottom of this okay
09:01there is no bottom martin you can always go lower
09:24you break it
09:37jesus nothing happier
09:48oh
10:12My grave, one inch, slipped into this.
10:25How do you not have a microwave?
10:29I wonder if you killed yourself, God.
10:32I can't even order anything.
10:47What's so wrong with the internet?
10:49Huh?
10:51It made us a lot of money.
10:52It made us a lot, a lot of money.
10:55Oh, you're ashamed.
10:56You're ashamed, God.
10:57Yeah, yeah, yeah.
10:58Well, you don't know shame.
11:00You are the brains, right?
11:01The brains.
11:02Well, try me in the face.
11:04God, I have to deal with it.
11:08Fuck!
11:18Um, Lelantro, Flores Rojas, over there.
11:25C.
11:27Merci, guys.
11:28Lily.
11:30B.B.
11:32Oh.
11:33What are you doing here?
11:36Thelma, some iced tea.
11:37Hibiscus.
11:38Sure.
11:38A little souvenir from Napa.
11:40Oh!
11:41Thelma, corkscrew.
11:43Sure.
11:44I heard you've been posting on the neighborhood chat.
11:47Right.
11:48And you accused Pippa Tang of being an arsonist who burnt down your house.
11:52Yes.
11:54She's hot.
11:56People should know who their neighbors are.
12:00Sigh.
12:01Okay.
12:02Stadium's the absolute priority.
12:04I'll apologize.
12:05I will grovel.
12:06I will wear my knee pad.
12:09No need to.
12:10I already spoke with her.
12:11And it went well.
12:13She's maintaining her commitment at the $40 million level.
12:15So, we'll announce it at the Winter Gala.
12:19Looks like we're getting our stadium.
12:21Until she burns it down.
12:23No, I'm kidding.
12:24No, that's wonderful.
12:25That really is.
12:26It's really wonderful.
12:27No.
12:28Well done, Beatrice.
12:29She did have one ask.
12:31She wants you off the board.
12:34What?
12:35Did she say that?
12:37Oh, my God.
12:40I mean, I run that thing.
12:43Wait.
12:44The others took a vote.
12:46What?
12:47Look, I'm sorry.
12:48But more time right now with the family could be good.
12:51Sorry, was my family or perhaps my husband's public lynching part of the conversation here?
12:58It was a wide-ranging conversation.
13:01It was a wide-ranging conversation.
13:28Sorry for what?
13:36Hey, Jason.
13:37What's up?
13:38How are you?
13:39Wow.
13:40You look unwell.
13:42I'm just in the middle of something right now.
13:44So, yeah, just, it's more off.
13:46Okay.
13:46Or, you could just come home.
13:49Mom's upset that this house was haunted.
13:52Haunted?
13:53Because of Uncle Hamish?
13:54No.
13:55That was, it was like five years ago.
13:57It's not like he's swinging away in there.
14:01So you, um, you know what happened with my company?
14:06Yeah, some famous guy bought, like a controlling interest or something?
14:09No, not quite controlling.
14:12And I still own most of it.
14:14Well, not quite most of it.
14:16It's just not ideal, you know.
14:19You really want to own most of it, if you can.
14:22I know your mom's worried, right?
14:25But neither, neither of you have anything to, you are my rich bitches.
14:32And I mean that like how, you know, gay men say it.
14:36Yeah.
14:37And when you have kids of your own, they'll be little rich bitches and, well,
14:41four, maybe six, probably not six, maybe three generations of rich bitches.
14:46Unless someone had a gambling problem or there was like a populist uprising.
14:51But as, just so as long as the stock is stable.
14:54And I haven't, I haven't checked on it in a bit.
14:57Can you, can you go up to the street and just check ticker HGNO?
15:03Yeah, no.
15:05I have a firewall.
15:06I don't need your help.
15:06Yeah, Anushka.
15:09Tessa's step-mom.
15:10She's on my board.
15:11And, and Uncle Gabe in my CFO.
15:13He's not your actual uncle.
15:16Thank fuck.
15:17I should.
15:20I should check in on him.
15:21Dad.
15:22You're like having a breakdown.
15:24No need to get judgy with me.
15:25Okay.
15:26You are the voice of what?
15:28Judging this now?
15:29You.
15:30You stole my tungsten cube.
15:32Oh my God.
15:33I didn't take your stupid cube.
15:34No, admit it.
15:35Admit it.
15:35What is it with you and this cube?
15:37Everyone's coming at me.
16:02I'm going to go.
16:04Hey Jamie, Jamie is in.
16:06Hey.
16:06Hey, hey!
16:29In today's episode, Hypergnosis.
16:32When the laughter stops, will icon powerhouse,
16:34Carl Bartle, be able to clean up Duncan Park's mess?
16:38Park, a masterclass at how not to lead a company.
16:57Gabe!
16:58Hey, Gabby baby!
17:00Hey.
17:02Um, can I come over?
17:062.5 mil is a steal around here.
17:11No, yeah, I, um, I really appreciate the early viewing.
17:16Of course.
17:17You saved my ass in behavioral psych.
17:19Uh-huh.
17:20It's, uh, probably not big enough for offices for me and Gary.
17:26I forgot.
17:27You married Professor Felder.
17:29Uh, yeah, he's, uh, no, yeah, I did.
17:34Yeah, well, there's, like, um, offices you can rent for, like, $1.75 an hour.
17:38That would be a huge pay cut.
17:40I'm still paying off my degrees.
17:42Yeah, and Gary's got his alimony and he stuck his parents in this money pit of a nursing home and
17:48then he had this tax penalty.
17:49Oh, my God, I just got a medical bill that insurance won't cover because my son put dog shit in
17:56his stool sample.
17:57Oh, okay, oh, okay, oh, okay.
18:02You wanna get high?
18:04Yeah.
18:09Didn't get you on practice?
18:10Mm.
18:12Why'd you quit?
18:14Cancer.
18:15Oh, shit.
18:16Girl, I am great.
18:19I'm all clear.
18:20I make my own schedule.
18:23I have to listen to those tech bros whine about their third homes.
18:26Okay, forget money.
18:29Where do you want to be?
18:32I don't know.
18:33Maybe somewhere I could watch the sunrise, you know?
18:37Nothing, nobody in my way.
18:39You should move to Gilroy.
18:42Grow your own weed, get yourself some chickens.
18:47I gotta ask, what's Professor Felder's dick like?
19:06Human females dig offerings and use to hunt and bring back mammoth flesh.
19:11This is how it is and how it always should be.
19:13What are you going to do, not give your female counterpart an offering?
19:16Hey, we need to see the nutritionist lady.
19:17I'm running out of the stuff.
19:20Yeah, you know, person, I think she's the kind of person who would give you magic beans for a heart
19:25attack, you know?
19:27But it's working, so it just feels like the dumb part of my brain is telling the smart part to
19:31just shut up.
19:32It's a little disconcerting, but my problems are, like, gone now.
19:35Like, they're all gone, and I'm feeling so much better.
19:38Hello.
19:39Hello.
19:40Hello.
19:41Oh, my boys.
19:46Orson, are you eating chili?
19:50Wow, it smells good.
19:52Orson was just saying how much better he feels.
19:55Also, he joined the orchestra at school.
19:57Hey, that's great.
19:58Wow, Orson, how much better?
20:01Like, basically all the way better.
20:03It's great.
20:04Oh, my gosh.
20:06Antibiotics are so, you know what I mean?
20:08They just work.
20:09No, no, they do not.
20:10They definitely didn't.
20:12Okay, they didn't work.
20:14No, they were awful.
20:16Okay, well, clearly, evidence, they helped.
20:24Actually, I stopped taking them a while ago.
20:27Oh, I think so.
20:31Why?
20:36Two thousand dollars?
20:38And right when we need every penny?
20:40I know.
20:40And behind my back?
20:42He's my son.
20:43Yeah, and he's crawling up from some male nurturing, and he's under my roof.
20:46What am I supposed to do, Joanne?
20:47Not your roof, Gary.
20:49Rented roof.
20:50That is not the point.
20:56It's Lily.
20:59Duncan.
21:02I know you're in there.
21:04The Hummer's in the driveway.
21:13I can hear the music.
21:25Duncan.
21:27This has been very hard for me, too.
21:31We are married.
21:32I don't care if you hate me.
21:33You have to talk to me until one of us dies.
21:36That's the deal.
21:37Otherwise, what good are we?
21:40Duncan!
21:45Bastard.
21:48Bastard.
21:57Bastard.
21:59Enfin ton cœur s'évade, des souvenirs enfouis, pour toi, ma servade, bien chanter dans la nuit.
22:25Duncan!
22:30Duncan?
22:38Duncan?
22:42What the hell?
22:44Oh!
22:44Oh!
22:45Oh!
22:54Oh!
23:04The sauce is really good.
23:09I will not get any of the sauce.
23:10It's just there!
23:11It's a good place.
23:12I really like this.
23:14It's fun.
23:14It's fun!
23:17It's fun!
23:18It's fun, it's fun.
23:19It's fun!
23:20It's fun.
23:23I'm going to put it in there.
23:24It's fun!
24:36Too many moons, buddy!
24:39I can't do physical contact.
24:40What?
24:41Uh, dopamine fasting.
24:42Gotta purify.
24:43Dopamine's the last addiction.
24:45Yeah.
24:45Yeah, you gotta keep the neural transmitters high and tight.
24:48Yep.
24:50We got a lot to talk about.
24:51Yeah, we sure do.
25:01I think you got the right idea here.
25:04Take your weddings and live away from it all.
25:06Yeah, it's just...
25:07Is that why you came?
25:09Yeah.
25:10What do you mean?
25:12You always have an angle.
25:15I needed a break.
25:17With a friend.
25:18Oldest and dearest.
25:21To be honest, I'm a little bummed you're doing this cleanse thing.
25:25I was looking forward to doing some toad licking and frog smoking.
25:29Last time I was here, remember?
25:30You're doing the gamble slut jubilee.
25:33God, you just sold your steak and...
25:35You were feral.
25:37Just...
25:40Wow.
25:41It's sluts.
25:42Plural.
25:43Gamble slut is an accusation.
25:45Sluts is an invitation.
25:47Well, I left feeling like one.
25:51We've got to be stronger than that now, Duncan.
25:54Societal change perhaps collapses upon us sooner than you think.
25:57Sooner than the people who think it soon think.
26:01Yeah.
26:03Maybe.
26:04Yeah.
26:04Yeah.
26:05There used to be men who lit the street lamps.
26:08Every night, walking around the cobblestones with a big pole of fire,
26:12you'd even know the guy.
26:13Evening, Doug.
26:14Lighting the lamps?
26:15You betcha, friend.
26:17What would we do without you?
26:20And then, Edison came up with his bright idea, and it's...
26:24Whatever happened to Doug?
26:26Dollars to donuts, Doug couldn't hack it in the new frontier.
26:29Maybe Doug found his wife banging the Maytag man
26:32and grabbed the third rail of the new downtown express.
26:35Or maybe Doug picked up his old lighting pole and started smashing his neighbor's windows,
26:39screaming about a revolution that his great-grandkids will finish any day now
26:43when they get replaced by AI bots.
26:46Either way, men like you and me, we gotta duck when shit fucks the fan.
26:53Get an island, get some guns, and go long on guillotines.
26:59I missed you, man.
27:02Even if you don't have the bone mass,
27:03these jaw exercises will open up the sutures of your skull.
27:06Now, obviously, the decadent females of the West
27:09are too busy riding the cock carousel to take a chance on a beta
27:11with a negative candle tilt, but that's where I come in.
27:14What the hell are you watching?
27:17Was that some fascist incel shit?
27:21Orson, who is sending you videos about cocks and skull tilts?
27:27Piantle tilt is eyes, I think, and it's not fascist to know anatomy.
27:32Yes, it is.
27:33That's their whole thing.
27:35Okay, look, I came to invite you.
27:41Gary and I are going to do a quick day trip to the country,
27:43and now I think, yeah, no, not an invitation.
27:46Mandatory.
27:47We are going to go pick some apples or something, okay?
27:51And that's all there is to it.
27:53Why can't you just watch video games?
27:59Ugh, can you not touch me, please?
28:05I'm going in late.
28:08Didn't sleep a wink.
28:09Sanders behaving strangely, he generated a couch to hide behind.
28:13I just...
28:14Nana and that article.
28:17Everyone at Cupertino thinks it was me, and I'm just covering my ass.
28:20Wasn't it you?
28:23Yes, but...
28:25Can you take the goggles off, please?
28:27I need a sympathetic ear right now.
28:37My motives were to clear the air to help Cupertino, but fat chance that anyone gives me an ounce of
28:42bloody credit.
28:42Like, I just can't win.
28:44I'm sorry.
28:45No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
28:48I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
28:49Don't talk to the robot.
28:51Martin, I'm your wife.
28:52I'm speaking to you.
28:54I think it's you.
28:55Maybe your voice.
28:56I broke the tablet.
28:58I really don't need this right now, Martin.
28:59My fault.
29:00Sander.
29:00Not hers.
29:01Not hers.
29:02Did you have an accident?
29:03I'm sorry, I'm bad.
29:04I'll clean it.
29:05I think you should go.
29:06How could he wee himself, Martin?
29:09He's pixels.
29:10Just dots.
29:11Can you leave, please?
29:11Stupid dots.
29:12Right, do you care about the Tamagotchi's feelings, Menor?
29:14Goddammit, leave!
29:15Go to work!
29:16And leave me to mine!
29:24I'm not terribly surprised that isn't caught up.
29:27This keeps the vampires away.
29:30I don't know, it's growing on the action.
29:31Can you?
29:35Some people just have very punchable faces.
29:39Duncan Park has a soul like that.
29:41I just, I just want to crush him.
29:44I do.
29:47Is that gay?
29:49Aren't you gay?
29:51I mean, the way he took down Orlando Lee with that big blue dolphin dick.
29:55Whack!
29:56Whack!
29:58Hey, he just doesn't quit, that guy.
30:00He just doesn't quit.
30:01He just keeps coming back.
30:04Until he ran away.
30:05Leaving me with this, this nugget, this prophecy.
30:10Did you see where Smote rehired Orlando Lee?
30:13Just as Duncan foretold.
30:15How much money have we made off that?
30:17After the last shortened bump, it's up 21 million and change.
30:22Want to hire him back?
30:24Maybe I make him employee this time.
30:26Paychecks, smaller office.
30:27Humble him.
30:29Dominate.
30:29A guy like that, he would never do that, ever.
30:31I would have to make him partner.
30:34I just wouldn't crush him.
30:36And I can't crush him if I can't find him.
30:38Carl, you have other holdings that you haven't even paid any attention to.
30:41Yeah, I know that.
30:42It's because I'm allergic to tedium, Stan.
30:44Obviously, you're not.
30:45Mr. Bartle?
30:46Yes!
30:47Hi.
30:47Hi.
30:48So, I accessed the carrier portal and found a signal location.
30:51The satellite handshake gave him away.
30:53English pronoun.
30:56Please.
30:57Did you find him?
30:58That gun was actually going to double my stock options at the next performance review.
31:03So, care to review my performance?
31:07Well, aren't you the little operator.
31:10Have you ever met our CFO, Gabe?
31:38Hello?
31:39Hello?
31:39Hello?
31:48Where are you?
31:50The wilderness.
31:52If I can't see the world, the world can't see me, right?
31:54That's how it works.
31:56Sorry about the stock and everything.
31:58No, no.
31:59I'm done, Nush.
32:00Can't go back.
32:02I don't want to go back.
32:03Oh, come on.
32:04It's just a bit of bad press.
32:05I'd rather have anything happen to me.
32:08I'd rather have a deepfake of me French kissing my own mother be passed around.
32:12I bet Bardoff already has a short list of replacement CEOs.
32:16I will know.
32:17If you recall, I resigned from the board.
32:20What?
32:22What?
32:23When?
32:23I sent you a registered letter, which you signed.
32:26I need you on the board.
32:28I need that vote.
32:28You said I have games.
32:30Even with games, Bardoff and I are deadlocked and then he'll find a way to tilt the balance.
32:35I, I, why the hell would you resign?
32:38I asked you to do one thing for me and you never did.
32:41You said you'd call Nenna, clear my name.
32:44Then you had sex with me and you never called her.
32:46So I called her.
32:47I called her.
32:48You?
32:52You?
32:52Who did this?
32:56You stabbed me in the back?
32:58Of my heart?
32:59Sorry, but when it's your job on the line, it's a crisis of infinite magnitude.
33:03But when it's mine, you can't be arsed.
33:06No, that's not.
33:07Why would you?
33:08Goodbye, junkie.
33:09No.
33:10No!
33:11No, I knew.
33:13God.
33:15Oh, God, no!
33:17Oh!
33:18Oh!
33:19Oh!
33:19Oh!
33:20Oh!
33:20Oh!
33:27I mean, do you think we could actually do this?
33:30I mean, we could afford it.
33:33Yeah, I mean, I always wanted to watch the sunrise over fields of wildflowers.
33:37It just...
33:38We thought it would be from the veranda of our architecturally significant second home.
33:44Yeah.
33:45Yeah.
33:46Living in the bubble, right?
33:49Well, I love it.
33:50You do?
33:51Mm-hmm.
33:52I love that it was your idea.
33:54And, um, I hate the people in Palo Alto.
33:58I do, I hate them.
33:59I know everybody deserves therapy, but that has to apply to the folks that live out here
34:03too, right?
34:05Whoever they are.
34:06It's less money for us, maybe.
34:08So we're not surrounded by world beaters.
34:09You know, as far as neighbors and friends go, the world beaters suck.
34:15And so maybe we just make peace with enough.
34:26Hey, Orson.
34:28Orson.
34:29Talk to your mom.
34:30She might have some news.
34:32Come here, buddy.
34:36What?
34:39What's the news?
34:40News?
34:41Uh, well, Gary and I are talking about, you know, and nothing's set in stone.
34:46But, uh, possibly to move here.
34:54When?
34:55I suppose soon.
34:56Uh, real soon.
34:59You, I just started settling in and you want to send me to live on a farm?
35:03I can finally freaking eat like a normal person and you won't pay for my medicine.
35:08Maybe you like me better, sick and feeble.
35:10What?
35:11How could you possibly think that?
35:13I know you did something bad.
35:16If you want to run away from whatever shit you pulled, that's fine.
35:19But you're not going to cuck me into living in fucking Garlic Town.
35:23I shouldn't make you give me the $2,000.
35:25And if I were a fascist, trust me, I would.
35:27But I don't need you, you selfish...
35:30woman.
35:39Hey.
35:40Are we ready to pick some apples?
35:42No.
35:43I'm going back.
35:57Hey, Gabe.
35:59Did I see you letting the sun shine where it don't normally?
36:03No, it's called perineum sunning.
36:05It increases testosterone production, root chakra optimization, and a...
36:08I'm going to try it.
36:09I'm going to try it.
36:10It's a great idea.
36:11You have so many great ideas.
36:13Here's mine.
36:14What if it's going to try to fire me?
36:16We go back to HQ, right?
36:18We instigate the staff to walk out.
36:20We ride in.
36:21We rile them up.
36:22A proper uprising.
36:23Ga-di-ca!
36:24Ga-di-ca!
36:25And then we say to Bardov,
36:27Hey!
36:27Hey!
36:27You're going to fire me?
36:28You're going to have to fire everyone!
36:31Your one move.
36:33Talking people into doing shit that's not good for anyone but you.
36:36This is why you came, right?
36:37Ensure my loyalty?
36:38Possibly your perspective while living here on a friggin' island has skewed you a little towards the paranoid.
36:44I'm just saying there used to be gamble sluts in bikinis up there.
36:47Now there are armed guards.
36:49That's not progress, Gabe.
36:50This is what you did to Hamish.
36:52You would stroke his ego and then steal his confidence over and over and over.
36:56Yeah, you motivate.
36:58You criticize.
36:59It's called leadership.
37:00I'm sorry, someone had to be the McCartney in the band.
37:02Who else was going to do it?
37:04I mean, Hamish?
37:06You?
37:06You want to take the reins?
37:08Go swing your sunkissed balls around?
37:10Show everyone that your root chakra is optimized?
37:12I would love, I'd love to see you try.
37:15It's too late now.
37:15Well, not for me.
37:16Not for me.
37:19Call me a helicopter.
37:21I'm going to go save what is ours.
37:23Oh, okay.
37:24So you're looking out for me too.
37:25Yes, yes!
37:26Okay, well then tell me, why has my dearest closest friend still not mentioned the predictive
37:31algo he's sitting on?
37:32Wait.
37:34How?
37:36Did you talk to Bardolph?
37:44Oh, God!
37:52No, no, no, no, I don't want to hear shit about betrayal.
37:56That's not the narrative here.
37:57You abandoned me.
37:59Oh, Gabe.
38:00Gabe, what did you do?
38:07Carl!
38:08And I thought I was the one stalking you the whole time.
38:13I'm here for you.
38:14Came to speak to Gabe Choi.
38:16Carl.
38:16Oh, you'll touch him?
38:17This is my ex-host, Stan Dibbs.
38:19Hey, Stan.
38:19How you doing?
38:20What is that?
38:21What is that?
38:22A Tinder offer.
38:2415% above market for Gabe's voting shares.
38:28No, hey, hey, hey.
38:29No, no, no, no.
38:29It's just, you can't do that.
38:30No, I never wanted to be CFO.
38:32I took the job for Hamish.
38:33He was dead, I asked you, and you never even did the job.
38:36Okay, well, I'm done.
38:36Okay, I'm out.
38:37For what it's worth, I'm giving some of this money to Francis and James.
38:40I think they're still in Wichita.
38:41Who is Francis and James?
38:44Hamish's parents, asshole.
38:46I will fix this.
38:47I will make you whole, okay?
38:49But wait.
38:50Wait, like with Fafa?
38:52No, Hamish wanted to wait, not me.
38:54No, you thought it was a movement, and it was a startup.
38:56And you talked Hamish out of selling.
38:58We could have all been billionaires.
39:00It practically killed him.
39:01Who knows?
39:02Maybe it did.
39:03I've got to admit it, Stan.
39:05Watching this man eat shit may be the only justice this world has to offer.
39:08You are a twisted prick, aren't you?
39:10You could have faxed that agreement here.
39:12Why are you here?
39:15It is because you wanted to see me, isn't it?
39:17Always about him.
39:18It is.
39:18What do you want to know?
39:19What do you want to know?
39:20How I predicted Orlando?
39:21No.
39:22I understand.
39:23If I was that lucky, I would want people to think I was a genius, too.
39:26It wasn't luck.
39:27Yeah, I'm not.
39:28It wasn't.
39:28It wasn't the word irrevocable ever.
39:29So it wasn't algo.
39:31Did Hamish write it?
39:32We can change that.
39:33Binding, maybe?
39:34Or that pink-haired whatnot.
39:35Did she come up with it?
39:37It was an oracle.
39:38I had an oracle.
39:39Oh, shit.
39:41Bullshit, and I don't care, really.
39:42I don't.
39:43Girl, I would have told you everything.
39:46All you had to do was be my partner.
39:48But no.
39:49No, you're a hungry, hungry hippo, and you had to snap it all up, but you didn't think
39:53it all the way through.
39:54Nope.
39:55Because I walked.
39:56And now, you've got to shit with no captain.
39:59And I think you like me a little.
40:01I do.
40:01You like my pitch.
40:04Ten million data points on every person from birth.
40:07But then, under my leadership, Nodin could have made it to 20 million.
40:10And at that point, you're not predicting behavior.
40:12You're steering it.
40:14That's why you wanted my company.
40:15You wanted to feel like God with a hard-on, didn't you?
40:18What's the fee sense?
40:18If it weren't for that article, the source of which was an ex-special friend of mine
40:25that I neglected.
40:26Yeah, so you reap.
40:28You sow.
40:30Was it true?
40:32Yeah, it was.
40:34So what?
40:34If that hit piece didn't come out, if I had my company, you would be on a yacht right now.
40:41Your board seat would be secure.
40:43The stock would be 50 points higher.
40:45My best friend wouldn't be backstabbing me right now.
40:48Best friends.
40:49Only in the K-hole.
40:50Gabe, please tell me you're going to have a lawyer look at that.
40:53Oh, gee, thank you.
40:54What, you think I'm a dingus?
40:55Oh, and Carl's soon to be none of my business, but you do not want this guy running your company.
40:59No, don't worry.
40:59This man gets nothing.
41:00Why?
41:01Why?
41:01Because you're selfish.
41:03And because you ruined my breakfast.
41:05Yeah, he is selfish and he's not a good guy.
41:07Says the man who made money off incels betting on witch girl at the orgy gets gangbanged?
41:12Really?
41:13And you?
41:14Spam?
41:15Fucking spam.
41:17I bet right now there is a Nigerian prince just cutting you a royalty check.
41:21How much are you worth, son?
41:22Oh, my.
41:26Amos and I were just trying to build a community, and I'm the bad guy?
41:31People exchanged candles and kayaks and shit, and then people fell in love on Fah Fah.
41:37Never heard of it.
41:38Bullshit.
41:39Bullshit.
41:40You don't stop thinking about me.
41:42You came here to find a way to lure me back, but the problem is you don't know how to
41:47lure.
41:48Only destroy.
41:52God.
41:53I'm not going to sit around for this circle jerk.
41:57God.
41:58And Carl, take me your helicopter.
42:00Oh, Gabe.
42:01Hey, hey, thanks for the hospitality.
42:02Look, you know, you know, get the fuck off me.
42:04Yeah.
42:06In our own time, eventually.
42:07Hey!
42:08Hey, hey, hey.
42:09Turn it on.
42:10Turn it on.
42:13Yeah, he said it was fine.
42:14He said you can take the chopper and it's fine.
42:16Gave you a chopper we can borrow?
42:18Of course.
42:21And who is his special friend?
42:32What if I pay you back?
42:34I'll get a job.
42:34I promise.
42:36But that stuff, without it, I'll just go back to the way I was.
42:41And I cannot do that.
42:43So, please.
42:44No, I get it.
42:45I get it.
42:45Um, I had, when I was your age, zits, migraines, and man boobs.
42:53I mean, the man boobs made me come back a little bit.
42:56Um, no, but we do need to respect your mom on this.
43:00She said no.
43:01And also, I can't really recommend something unregulated from somebody who spells science
43:06with a Y.
43:07We can do better.
43:09But I promise you, if insurance covers it, I'll help you.
43:23Hmm.
43:25I spent an hour this morning meditating on the terrors that teens face.
43:31I mean, even if you make it through high school without a shooting, then what?
43:35Right?
43:35Like, AI, it is a poison weed that is choking your generation.
43:39I mean, there's not an image or a sound you can trust in the whole world.
43:43In the earth, it's on fire.
43:45I mean, it's no wonder that you feel like someone is clear-cutting your gut biome.
43:49Right?
43:51Oh, approved.
43:53Hmm?
43:53Oh, thank you.
43:57Oh, shit.
44:00It's your old friend.
44:02Don't want to burst in uninvited.
44:04You know, respect your boundaries.
44:05Hello?
44:06Hey, listen, I have a treat for you.
44:11Hear me out.
44:11It has been very...
44:12Hey!
44:13Whoa!
44:13Whoa!
44:14Whoa!
44:14Whoa!
44:15Whoa!
44:15Put that down!
44:16Leave, Duncan.
44:17Breaking and entering again?
44:19Come on, just stop.
44:19You're leaving now.
44:21Five-minute shoes.
44:21Five-minute shoes, okay?
44:23I'll be...
44:24Come on, Jojo.
44:25Our kids go to school together.
44:26I'm not putting it down until you get out.
44:28Really?
44:29Come on!
44:29You're not going to shoot me, Jojo!
44:31You're going to shoot me?
44:32I got fired!
44:34I did.
44:34I lost my company.
44:35I lost my friends.
44:36All you can do is hurt my physical form.
44:38The rest is gone.
44:39So go!
44:48I'm okay.
44:49Thanks for asking.
44:50And I'm going to get it all back.
44:53I have been...
44:56on a journey.
44:58I really have been.
44:59Did you read about me?
45:00You did.
45:01Of course you did.
45:02Of course you did.
45:03I went looking for truth.
45:08And all signs point to you.
45:11Duncan.
45:11No, no.
45:12No.
45:13Please, Joanne, don't be...
45:14Listen, listen.
45:16You are my oracle.
45:17And I have an offering.
45:281.2 million dollars?
45:30Yeah, Hamish.
45:31Remember him?
45:32My old partner, you know?
45:33Anyway, he left a little money
45:35for my daughter's college fund.
45:37Sweet, right?
45:38But I took that and used it
45:39to invest in your smoke thing.
45:41And now it's a million and change.
45:43And it's yours.
45:45It's...
45:46What?
45:48It's yours.
45:49Well, I did take half of it.
45:51I do have to pay Jamie back.
45:52But the rest of it,
45:52it is yours.
45:53You deserve it.
45:55It's bulletproof,
45:55VPNed,
45:56invisible on the dark web.
45:58No one can hear you, Profit.
46:00No.
46:00Duncan, I...
46:01I...
46:02I...
46:03I can't take your money.
46:04I...
46:05I don't want it.
46:06You earned it.
46:07You did.
46:08You have a gift.
46:09You really do.
46:11It went down like you said.
46:12Orlando,
46:13they turfed him.
46:14Stock went up,
46:15stock went down.
46:15And they brought him back.
46:16It was insider trading.
46:18Orlando's closest advisor
46:19was my patient.
46:21Anybody,
46:21with even a little insight
46:23who had the same information I had,
46:25could have figured it out too.
46:26But they didn't.
46:27And like,
46:28even if they did,
46:28genius is not about
46:30figuring out the solution.
46:31It's about being unhinged enough
46:32to do something outrageous with it.
46:35That's you.
46:36You did that.
46:36And you,
46:37you deserve to be rewarded.
46:41This,
46:41this has been my mistake
46:42from the very beginning.
46:44I mean,
46:44you give,
46:45and you give,
46:46and all I do,
46:46I do is take.
46:48That's...
46:51That's my bad.
46:52I should never have blackmailed you.
46:55Never.
46:55It should have always
46:57been a bribe.
46:58Will you be my bribe?
47:19Shoot straight,
47:20you bastards!
47:24Carl Bardoff.
47:25Thanks for coming in.
47:27Anishka Batuchera,
47:28obviously.
47:29I've heard so much about you.
47:31Hmm.
47:31Mostly appalling,
47:32of course.
47:33Oh,
47:33from Big Tim.
47:34Hmm.
47:34He's a good man,
47:35if you're in the market
47:36for bullshitting
47:37a pair of Allbirds.
47:40Why don't you tell me
47:41what I'm doing here?
47:42Well,
47:43you know the,
47:44uh,
47:44CFO,
47:45former CFO.
47:46Oh,
47:46what's his name?
47:47Gabe?
47:48Unfortunately.
47:49He sold me his shares
47:50and there it is.
47:51It's mine.
47:53So,
47:54just trying to think
47:55what to do
47:55with this place
47:56and
47:59knowing you're
47:59on the board.
48:00I'm not anymore.
48:02No,
48:02I read your letter.
48:03You made some good points.
48:04I identified the rot.
48:05You read it?
48:07Yeah,
48:07I was just sitting
48:07on Duncan's desk.
48:09You're a smart cookie.
48:10Okay.
48:11I hate to see
48:12what Tim has you doing.
48:13His laundry?
48:15Chief ethicist.
48:16Oh!
48:18Ethicist Barbie.
48:20Fancy title
48:21and all the power
48:22of an overpaid
48:22schoolmarm, too.
48:24What a waste.
48:26How would you,
48:27uh,
48:28like to be
48:29interim CEO?
48:32You know the company?
48:33You're not a wrecking ball.
48:34You're trying to do something?
48:36Plus,
48:38Tim would hate it.
48:41Duncan Parkwood, too,
48:42I feel sure.
48:44Uh,
48:45well,
48:46I'm flattered.
48:49I'd have to
48:50take a leave of absence
48:51from Cupertino
48:52and it could
48:52derail my career.
48:53Or you could
48:54bet on yourself.
48:57Well,
48:57data isn't my area
48:58of expertise.
49:00I mean,
49:01I have opinions.
49:02Strong ones.
49:05Okay,
49:06let me ask you.
49:08Could you
49:09imagine using
49:10your algo
49:11to spot
49:11people in crisis,
49:12communities in need,
49:14and actually
49:15help them?
49:16Well,
49:17that sounds like
49:17some of the things
49:18we talked about
49:19when we first started
49:19making this sausage,
49:20yes.
49:21But you never did.
49:24And you never will.
49:25Profit,
49:26let me ask you a little bit about Alice.
49:29Look,
49:29there are about 20 dudes
49:30in the valley
49:31that make as much
49:32or more than me.
49:33And we all come
49:34to the same fork
49:35in the room.
49:36Do we want
49:38humanitarian legacy
49:38or do we want
49:39planetary reach?
49:40Do we want to save
49:41the world
49:42or control it?
49:44Heal or conquer?
49:46We'll both have
49:46their charms,
49:47but,
49:47um,
49:49I will tell you this,
49:50most of us
49:51go Dr. Evil.
49:54I used to love
49:55the valley,
49:57but I hate
49:58what it's become.
49:59I hate it.
49:59We've broken
50:00and disrupted everything
50:01and now there's
50:02nothing else to break.
50:04And now they want
50:04to upload consciousness
50:05so guys like me
50:06can live forever,
50:07disrupting death.
50:08fuck you.
50:10Death disrupts us.
50:12Our limited time
50:13is why we try hard
50:14to do anything worthwhile.
50:16There's a shelf life,
50:18then it's over.
50:18Blue screen,
50:19done.
50:22So,
50:23convince me,
50:23Anoushka.
50:24Prove to me
50:25that the best way
50:26for me to spend
50:27my money
50:28and the rest
50:29of the time
50:29that I have left
50:31is to build
50:32a legacy of good.
50:41It's been
50:43over a week.
50:45Not a missing person,
50:47just an absent
50:47husband and father.
50:49He just walked out.
50:53Well,
50:53I'm not completely
50:54without fault myself.
50:56So,
50:57yes,
50:59more than he knows
51:00and I want to keep
51:00it that way.
51:04It's not about the money.
51:06That said,
51:07if it comes to it,
51:08I will want the house.
51:09Yes.
51:16Where the hell
51:17have you been?
51:26I'm so sorry.
51:27Where were you?
51:27Were you with her?
51:28Sorry.
51:29No, no, no.
51:30God, no.
51:31Were you with someone else?
51:32I was all alone.
51:34All alone.
51:36Except you were there.
51:39You were there
51:40and Jamie.
51:54You were my best friend.
51:57You always were.
52:00And you're the only one
52:01I can trust
52:02against these jackals.
52:04I need you.
52:06I need you
52:07standing
52:09behind me,
52:11next to me,
52:12in front of me,
52:15wherever,
52:16wherever it's safest
52:17for me.
52:27Baby?
52:28Yeah, baby.
52:28Yes, baby.
52:30I'm sorry.
52:31No, I'm sorry.
52:32I am sorry.
52:34I want a divorce.
52:44Cut them to ribbons, boys.
52:49And maybe we can, um,
52:51try to fix things.
52:52I can't have another
52:53abusive situation
52:54in my house.
52:56We're gonna be okay.
52:59Privacy has value.
53:02An un-mined
53:03motherlode of value.
53:06I'm a bad man.
53:12Hi.
53:13You should see the other guy.
53:15No, really.
53:17Can you give me some lift?
53:22In episode five,
53:24we really see
53:25the manifestation
53:26of Duncan's fear
53:27of humiliation
53:28that he states
53:29at the very beginning
53:29of the show.
53:30What's our stock at now,
53:31huh?
53:32What's the price?
53:32Down 10%.
53:3320.7%.
53:34Ooh.
53:35But Duncan only owns 20.
53:37Who's Duncan?
53:40We see that feeling
53:42of wanting to crawl
53:44away from the situation
53:45as quickly as possible.
53:47Okay, bye.
53:49Okay.
53:51Bye.
53:58We know that he has
53:59this dumb house,
54:00a place where he can go
54:01where there is no internet,
54:02there's no Wi-Fi.
54:03And I've always imagined
54:05him getting there
54:05and the first five minutes
54:08being,
54:08huh,
54:10I can relax here.
54:12What's so wrong
54:13with the internet?
54:14It made us a lot of money.
54:16It made us a lot,
54:17a lot of money.
54:18Again and again,
54:19he tries to relax
54:21into being on some kind
54:23of sabbatical
54:23from his life.
54:25And again and again,
54:26it doesn't work.
54:30We learn also
54:31in this episode
54:32when Lily comes
54:33to the dumb house.
54:36Duncan!
54:37This relationship
54:38between Lily and Hamish
54:40was much more complicated
54:41and I think it's safe
54:43to say romantic
54:44and perhaps was behind
54:46Hamish's choices
54:47in the end.
54:51There's a picture
54:51in the dumb house.
54:53One of them is Duncan
54:53and his struggles
54:54are known to us.
54:55The other one is Hamish
54:56who decided to end his life
54:58and the other one is Gabe
54:59who decided to
55:00isolate himself entirely
55:02from the world
55:02and live on an island,
55:04take his winnings
55:04and go be alone.
55:07Gabe was played brilliantly
55:09by Randall Park.
55:10Too many boons, buddy!
55:12I can't do physical contact.
55:14What?
55:15Uh, dopamine fasting,
55:16gotta purify.
55:16This is all very much
55:18based on real life scenarios
55:22with some of these guys
55:23at this level of wealth.
55:25You really haven't quite
55:27made your nut
55:28until you've got
55:29a compound you can escape to
55:30when the shit hits the fan.
55:32Did you talk to Bardolph?
55:33Now!
55:38Duncan goes there,
55:40I think genuinely,
55:41to try to have a retreat
55:43from the reality
55:45that he left behind
55:46with Bardolph.
55:47But also,
55:47he's got an agenda
55:48and Gabe can spot it
55:49immediately.
55:51What is that?
55:51A Tinder offer.
55:5315% above market
55:55for Gabe's voting shares.
55:56No, no, no, no.
55:57Just, you can't do that.
55:58No, no.
55:58I never wanted to be CFO.
55:59I took the job for Hamish.
56:01You are a twisted prick.
56:03You know that?
56:06Orson was just saying
56:07how much better he feels.
56:09Antibiotics are so...
56:10You know what I mean?
56:10Actually,
56:11I stopped taking them
56:13a while ago, so...
56:14I think in episode five,
56:16a subtitle could be
56:17The Kids Are Not Alright.
56:19Orson is starting to take
56:20medicine that's changing
56:22his behavior,
56:22mysterious proprietary blend
56:24from The Nutritionist.
56:26You see that heartbreaking scene
56:27between Jameson and Duncan
56:29where she so wants him
56:32to be a better dad
56:33and he's just not capable of it.
56:36And you see Xander
56:37trying to recover
56:38from essentially virtual,
56:40but as far as Xander is concerned,
56:42physical abuse
56:43at the hands of his stepmother.
56:44I'm sorry.
56:45I'm bad.
56:46I'll clean it.
56:46How could he wee himself, Martin?
56:49He's pixels.
56:50Leave!
56:50Go to work!
56:51And leave me to mine!
56:53Anushka is also
56:55Tessa's stepmother.
56:56And so The Kids Are Not Alright
56:58is a really interesting way
57:00to look at
57:00not just this episode,
57:02but I think overall
57:03in this show,
57:05the stakes are the kids.
57:06They are the ones
57:08who are the most targeted
57:09in terms of
57:10the social media stuff.
57:12Also,
57:12do these kids
57:13have in them,
57:15and even Xander
57:16in this sense,
57:17the desire and ability
57:18to make things better?
57:20And do they have a voice
57:21in the future?
57:24Nothing's your fault.
57:25Let's get to the bottom of this.
57:27There is no bottom, Martin.
57:28You can always go lower.
57:29There is no bottom, Martin.
57:29There is no bottom, Martin.
57:29There is no bottom, Martin.
57:29There is no bottom, Martin.
57:30There is no bottom, Martin.
57:30There is no bottom, Martin.
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