- 13 minutes ago
The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives - Season 4 - Episode 10: The Book of Thorns and Roses
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:04we're not friends
00:08what the fuck is going on
00:11what the fuck you just said that to me
00:13that you don't feel like we're friends
00:14okay then fuck you
00:16holy shit
00:26to be honest I'm not surprised
00:28with the way that Whitney's acting right now
00:31and this is just reconfirmed to me
00:33why I have kept my distance
00:36Kayla will you just talk to me
00:38and just did I do something
00:39like genuinely what happened
00:41if so she was upset because
00:43Jen didn't say congrats on her
00:45getting Chicago
00:46therapy's expensive I'm gonna send Whitney my bill
00:49after this conversation
00:51what did she tell you
00:53Zach told me last week
00:55oh and you just haven't said anything
00:57and I just haven't texted her
00:58I've told her in person
00:59but she's upset that I didn't tell her
01:01when you knew
01:02when I knew
01:03if someone posts
01:04I'm literally terrified
01:05to not comment on somebody's post
01:06because I feel like we have this expectation now
01:08like if I'm not like showing complete
01:10and it's probably that
01:11I mean I don't want to hear it
01:13like it's my fault
01:14this Whitney and Jen drama
01:16definitely makes me feel like
01:17I'm back at the CMA drama
01:18from last year
01:19I posted about my CMAs
01:21not a single one of my friends
01:23from MomTalk
01:23said a single thing about it
01:25or commented
01:26to hear nothing
01:27like what the fuck
01:28I think all the cool opportunities
01:29we're getting are great
01:31but I also think it has potential
01:32to pull us away
01:33from why we're in MomTalk
01:34to begin with
01:35and make us lose sight
01:36of the genuine friendships
01:38it's hard to balance it all
01:40but if we don't have our friendships
01:42what is this all for?
01:44I see where Whitney's upset
01:46but to be honest
01:47I don't feel like our friendship
01:48has been genuine
01:49to be honest
01:49I think it's very much
01:50been transactional and fake
01:53and I feel like
01:54in order to protect my energy
01:56I've been just being cordial
01:59this whole time
01:59because I don't have the time
02:00or none of us do
02:01there's a lot of competition
02:03and jealousy
02:03between Whitney and Jen right now
02:05and that's where this is all stemming from
02:06but MomTalk does not need
02:08to be dealing with this right now
02:09as we kind of grow in popularity
02:11we're getting more and more offers
02:13like Taylor with the Bachelorette coming up
02:14and when we start getting more exposure
02:17and more opportunities
02:18I do worry it may drive us apart
02:20it's all transactional
02:22she's saying like
02:23I don't care about her
02:24I'm like you don't care about any of us either
02:26you only came back for Dancing with the Stars
02:28I am feeling like
02:30so heated right now
02:32I don't even know
02:33if people are backing me up
02:35or people backing Jen up
02:36but if there is one thing
02:38that I have learned
02:38being a part of this group
02:39is that something is bound to happen
02:43but the show must go on
02:44come ye saints and come ye sinners
02:56alleluia
02:57listen up
02:59I'm the one you've been dreaming of
03:02I got everything you could ever want
03:06try me in your sleep
03:08I'll bring you to your knees
03:10baby you're gonna believe
03:12I'm the one you've been dreaming
03:24as if you're never gonna die
03:24I'm the one you're gonna be 25
03:25you
03:27NOO
03:29NOO
03:41me
04:05After finding out about Dakota and Shania,
04:08I feel completely fucked over.
04:10And not only that, but I am on empty.
04:12This is not the headspace I wanted to be walking into The Bachelorette.
04:15I think it was very deliberate.
04:16I need to start packing though, so I'm gonna grab my suitcases.
04:20I mean, Dakota knew what this would do.
04:21He's not fucking stupid.
04:23Uh, it's just, it's, yeah, it sucks.
04:28Hey!
04:30Oh, yep, get on in.
04:31You're going with me, huh?
04:33What's your expectations?
04:35Are you nervous?
04:36It's okay to be nervous.
04:38I'm nervous for you.
05:09I don't have any, I don't have any going in that way.
05:09You can, like, handle all of it.
05:12Honestly, like, I can't imagine more chaos than I'm already living.
05:16So, um, I'll never say that.
05:19I'm nervous for you.
05:20It's okay.
05:21I know.
05:21I know.
05:21I know.
05:27I know.
05:33I know.
05:35be where the flowers grow somebody take me take me home before the study said he takes my soul
05:45my soul good morning good morning what's up how are you feeling oh i need to stay off my phone
05:53yeah you really need to stay off social media right now yeah i know you've cried most of the
06:01night last night i got eliminated and to be honest i am devastated and very much surprised the couple
06:10going home is
06:15jen and yon
06:19just like it's like a pit in my stomach like dreamt of this moment like my whole life and the
06:26fact that
06:27it's like over just like that it just it feels just like weird yeah like the positives even hurt
06:35more because it's like those memories and yeah you can be sad but you also you have to be proud
06:42of
06:42yourself because you wanted to inspire people and you accomplished that you did this eight weeks
06:48postpartum i'll never forget like finishing my dance and looking over looking over at you and
06:57norah and just saying how proud you were i really gave it my all yeah you gave your heart to
07:05it and
07:05you have to be proud of that
07:08oh man i think i'm still trying to process you should be really proud of yourself thank you
07:16yeah for for sure thank you thank you you made it to what week seven you're right you know i
07:24should
07:24be proud of myself so proud of yourself jen
07:29whitney has been blowing up my phone apparently she wants to have conversation
07:34which is you think she wants to apologize for how she yelled and screamed at you or
07:39no you think she wants to apologize for laughing when you got eliminated no okay fam it looks like
07:46whitney is laughing when jen gets kicked off do you think that she's happy she's safe or do we think
07:51that she's actually happy to see jen going home hit me up in the comments let me know what you
07:56think
07:56i think she's worried about she's thinking about her and being in the competition and she didn't
08:03like what i had to say on live and so i'm sure about you not voting for her yeah and
08:09i would be
08:09rooting for a former mom talk person but we won't get into it okay well in this line
08:17oh i'm out of this shit whitney only cares about whitney and her not getting eliminated and she knows
08:22that i hold power when it comes to that just because if i say anything more it could hurt her
08:30hello um i just want to apologize for overreacting and yelling so i'm gonna say hi to you when i
08:36see
08:36you at the studio and what you look um but yeah i just wanted to say sorry for treating you
08:43that way
08:43she knows she effed up you want to act like everything's okay i'm tired of being fake and i've
08:48done that a lot and i'm tired of doing that and i'm not doing that anymore and if that means
08:52the
08:52whole group is against me because i'm not friends with whitney who's currently popular and that's the
08:58cool thing to do right now i don't care and i think it would be good i mean just to
09:03have like a
09:03cordial conversation and just like hey this is my perspective that's her perspective you guys can
09:08just talk it out and you think you think i should go talk to her yeah i think someone needs
09:12to hold her accountable i know you feel like this is the end of the world but this is just
09:19the
09:19beginning i know it doesn't feel that way but you're gonna go do way bigger things this journey
09:24of dancing the stars jen was gone all the time and so like our marriage did get neglected at the
09:29same time like it was one of the coolest happiest fun experiences and i feel like pretty sad for her
09:34but i also feel really grateful that she got as far as she did i've really learned i have to
09:37cherish
09:38every second i get with her and it's also helped me realize like i have a lot more respect
09:42for stay-at-home parents getting away from whitney and going back with some of your other friends
09:46could be good too if you don't have a lot of friends if whitney's down here i'm yeah i should
09:51probably get out of here but hey she's gonna be in chicago new york it's new york the place called
09:59chicago
10:02i'm dead
10:11hello hi gorge
10:14wait this is new that's cute so much love it did you get that in new york slay love her
10:21slayla
10:22with all of the shania and dakota and taylor drama going on i haven't really had a chance to check
10:28in
10:28with leila and see how she's doing and i'm so excited to see how her meeting went with ford models
10:32because i know this is a huge opportunity for her and it's a dream of hers okay so you haven't
10:37told me
10:37any update on ford uh yeah oh yeah what did how did that go they didn't find me um so
10:46just calling
10:46to give you a little bit of an update yeah um so i've spoken with my team here in new
10:50york
10:51unfortunately not everyone is really aligned or on the same page so we're gonna have to pass at this
10:57time okay so i'm just like embarrassed i feel like i'm like don't be like you're gonna get yeses
11:01and you're gonna get no and every supermodel literally will tell you no they have literally
11:06plenty of no's i don't think you guys like getting rejected by modeling agency like that
11:11means there's something wrong with me that they didn't choose me so i feel like i've been like
11:14the last couple days i've been like struggling so hard with like confidence and i'm like i weigh
11:19too much or my face isn't symmetrical and i'm like i'm literally the ugliest person ever like
11:23you're not at all i know but i think it just like stems back to like just like me never
11:27feeling like i'm like enough if that makes sense and just like i don't know
11:30just like having someone like look at you and like look at your face and be like yeah like
11:34we don't want you you know like it just kind of like it sucks and i feel like everyone's always
11:39told me like you should pursue modeling like you're built for you built for i'm like maybe i'm not
11:43i've struggled with body image issues and an eating disorder since i was in high school i used to have
11:50anorexia and then i got pregnant with my first son when i was 19 and naturally i mean there's a
11:57baby
11:57inside of me that i have to care for so i feel like i kind of healed for a little
12:01bit and then
12:01i got pregnant again and i didn't spiral then but after me and my ex separated that's when i feel
12:08like
12:08i started to go back into those old ways and those old habits and i feel like i've been battling
12:13it for
12:14the last four years now silently you know that that's not true because first of all you have
12:21a mirror that you can look in and you have eyes that work but all they also have a brain
12:24that tricks
12:25me and says yeah but you also have so many other modeling deals i just feel like every girl is
12:31getting such awesome opportunities and i'm so proud of them but i definitely you know you get a little
12:36hard on yourself and you hope that you know you can achieve things outside of mom talk as well
12:40and rejection hurts you wouldn't even have the you wouldn't have made it in the door at ford if
12:45you weren't a beautiful like accomplished person that had a lot of potential i feel like i'm trying
12:52to look at positives in the situation that if i did get it i would have to move to new
12:56york for three
12:56months and that would definitely be hard with my babies and with mason and figuring all of that out
13:02but it's just a hard toss up because it's something that i want so badly it's not the only big
13:06agency
13:07no like there are others i don't think i mentally can handle another now no i think i just wanted
13:12it
13:12like so bad when it comes to my frequency i'm on top good energy can never be stopped everything i
13:21want now you're ready to manifest the money like it's my job open your mind to cut yourself loose
13:27let the vibration make your feelings elevate yourself yes i approve positive ideas don't overdo
13:33i felt really bad the way that i handled jen and i's argument no matter what's happened no one deserves
13:38to be yelled to like that so i don't want things to be awkward with us i've asked her to
13:43meet up with
13:43me and hopefully we can move past this what the why is zach here and where is jen
14:05hello how are you doing good i'm uh i'm gonna be filling in today filling in for jen
14:15i decided to go talk to whitney because jen asks me to i wanted to go kind of just
14:21uh defend jen i don't care whitney screams or yell at me like i'm i'm not scared of whitney she
14:26didn't
14:27wanna come why i mean the truth is she's hurting right now she's sad she's grieving i think just
14:33like you would be yeah of course i'm yeah i'm so sorry she got like it would suck i i
14:38don't know if
14:38you are i hope you are um i think she's just i think she needs time to process her journey
14:44and to
14:44be honest i think she's probably scared to come here and get yelled at by you you do that a
14:50lot yeah you
14:50know what else i did i voice memoed her an apology for yelling at her yeah whitney it was a
14:57bullshit fake apology i heard it myself you know what it wasn't a bullshit apology i really did feel
15:03bad for yelling and i said i'm so sorry let's be friends again because i don't want this exposed to
15:07the media because i'm gonna get voted off no i didn't i'm a mean girl that's the truth whitney i'm
15:14not
15:14even i'm not even gonna do yes or no for that she said she didn't want to be friends and
15:17i didn't know
15:18that that hurt my feelings and i overreacted i apologized i love the transparency but you don't
15:23i will not stand is for you to go on live after you get eliminated to then say i'm not
15:30voting for
15:30whitney what's the objective there i'm in a competition i think the objective is she thinks there's people
15:36who deserve it more than you that's fine you could have said who you were voting for not who you're
15:42not
15:42voting for you know what that to me is cruel and it's mean because what do i have to deal
15:49with now
15:49this hate online it's overwhelming and then on top of it all of the news media outlets saying oh my
15:55gosh jen's not voting for you whitney's not montauk because i have that narrative that's manipulation
16:00that's an objective and that's why do you think the whole world all of social media thinks that about
16:06you because people can see your true colors if you had gotten eliminated would you be voting for
16:11jen absolutely and absolutely complete i don't even believe that one person and you know what zach
16:17you don't have to because even when i had a conversation with jen the way that she thinks
16:22is she thinks everybody's calculating everyone's strategic and the world's up no she thinks you
16:26and me are it's weird that you two happen to be best friends first of all i don't appreciate that
16:31because i know who i am i am a great person and i put in so much effort in that
16:37relationship the
16:38difference between jen and me and jen is i'm going to be straight up and honest and that actually is
16:42probably the biggest lie that's come out of your mouth jen is actually the least calculated person
16:47therefore she gets herself in bad situations that's not true this isn't easy for anyone zach
16:50all of us are mentally unwell i can tell and i don't think she should have said that online but
16:58i think
16:58there's a part of jen that wants the world to see your true colors because she's sick of it she's
17:02sick of you being fake to her on camera for the show for your own gain and then in real
17:08life she
17:09knows you're not a genuine this is the most delusional woman i've ever met when he's friendship
17:15with jen has been fake from the beginning anytime when he's been frustrated or things haven't gone her
17:20way she screams or she runs away from mom talk she's hurt you i've never hurt whitney and then runs
17:25away
17:26i'm gonna start my own mom talk i'm sorry they're like oh whitney's only back filming because she
17:33wants dancing with the stars they're not wrong i just think it was a very transactional friendship
17:38she's not the main star whitney is not interested in it when someone goes on a live and decides to
17:44create more for me to deal with that's up and i'm i'm sorry for that you're not i don't want
17:51to hear
17:51your apology i want to hear jen's but guess what she doesn't she doesn't think she did anything
17:56wrong no i don't think she thinks she i don't think she cares to give you an apology of course
18:00she doesn't care thank you you want to shout it to the rooftops of course she doesn't care
18:07okay do you have anything else you want to say i don't want to talk about it anymore that's so
18:12i'm sorry i wish you guys the best thank you i'm not going to sit here and try to convince
18:17you
18:18the perspective that i have i'm not going to sit here and try to convince you that
18:22what your wife did was unwarranted how she's treated me as unwarranted you are not my friend
18:27you are not in my circle and i do not trust you okay hey oh no whitney zach showed up
18:36instead of jen
18:37oh my god they're just every time i talk to them i just feel i feel so manipulated and then
18:46i hate
18:47fucking crying because then the world is like oh she's being the victim i like i can't ever
18:52fucking win and then for you to sit there and be like jen has done nothing wrong it's you that's
18:57not
18:57a good friend i'm like what the fuck and then he's saying like basically that i deserve all the hate
19:02i'm getting it's like go yourself i'm gonna rip that man's head off my biggest pet peeve with me
19:09is when men try and make women feel fucking small well guess what i feel that way and i hate
19:16so
19:16fucking much that like i let it get to me i don't know where i'm at after this but what
19:21i can control
19:22is not having jen and zach a part of my life a part of my circle and that's what i'm
19:28deciding
19:28she wanted you to feel like shit mission accomplished zach i hope you feel like a big
19:33strong man right now what a loser
19:50hello how are you good how are you oh good to see you i know you too i'm excited for
19:55this
19:55you guys look so cozy and cute i know i'm so glad we all went like loud because i was
20:01like am i gonna
20:02look homeless never you carrying your six thousand dollar product homeless mom talk has a lot going
20:08on right now and taylor's leaving for the bachelorette in a few days and then after that i'm hosting my
20:13annual halloween party we should talk about the guest list though because with taylor gone i'm like okay
20:18who are we inviting we can actually have alcohol because taylor's gone which will be fun open bar okay
20:24so i have mom talk on the list obviously who's left of it dakota i think shania has been invited
20:28because jordan invited everyone at red west but i don't know if she would actually show up
20:33we've been so busy lately and i'm so excited to just go and have fun and relax today with miranda
20:38and layla at the spa okay we can do anything for 30 seconds no i will be the burpee then
20:43you were
20:43married to chase you can do it that was a frozen tundra straight out like ice cap frigid temperatures
21:11i don't know i feel like i'm trying to like keep my expectations low i feel like i put a
21:17lot of my
21:18self-worth into my image having someone say that like they didn't want to take me on even though they
21:23didn't say anything physically was wrong with me i feel like my brain automatically was like oh like
21:27i'm not small enough or i'm not pretty enough but i think more of it was just like i feel
21:31like i
21:32weighed too much i'm sure your sample size is not smaller i don't look at myself that way though
21:37i weighed myself like two days ago when i was 99.
21:43and you're like 5 10 5 9. i mean do you know that that's not super healthy and when i
21:52say healthy like
21:53it doesn't mean big you know like healthy is strong yeah no i
22:02i just really really can't i don't know i just feel like it does don't i don't think i'll ever
22:07be
22:07like small in my head and i know that it's affecting me and like i'm so exhausted all the
22:12time because i don't eat and my body hurts every night when i go to bed what do you mean
22:16like i like
22:17would literally like lay down like if my like knees are touching each other it like hurts because i don't
22:22have any like fat on my body like cushion it like i know that it's going too far and i'm
22:26taking it
22:27too far but i like can't stop do you think uh are you open to stopping trucepitate
22:34i have been using weight loss drugs glp ones now for about a year i would say i initially got
22:43on them
22:44because i feel like i just had stubborn weight that i couldn't get off but the thing is that people
22:48don't
22:48talk about how addicting this is and how hard it is to get off and it's just this ever living
22:55thing
22:56that's so negative and especially negative here in utah people are obsessed with how they look
23:01it's a very negative part of the utah culture i can't even count on both hands how many people i
23:07know abuse glp ones like myself and it's a real problem for sure when's the last time you did it
23:14last week that's what scares me is i don't think you need to be actively losing it's hard and i
23:20feel
23:20like everyone like obviously everyone's starting to notice what it looks like in my comments like i
23:24can't post a single video right now like every single person saying something about like you need
23:29to eat or you're not gonna be able to show up for your kids like you're being a bad mom
23:32blah blah blah
23:33like all these things like i'm not trying to like i yeah it's not like it well i've noticed your
23:38comments have switched from like you're something your arms are so long to now like are you okay
23:42and i think that's kind of the sentiment we're all thinking is that like just argue okay i feel like
23:49for a long time there people calling me ill or saying that i look sick or too thin it was
23:54almost
23:54a dopamine rush for me because i feel like with an eating disorder okay someone's noticing all this
23:59work that i'm putting in to look this way and like it's paying off in a way but now i
24:03can't even post
24:04a simple ad to make money to support my family without there being a bunch of comments on and it's
24:10actually starting to get a lot that i don't even want to post right now because i can't run away
24:15from it and i don't know like how to stop but obviously like you've always had to have such a
24:23strong friend growing up the way that you grew up and i think when so much is out of control
24:28it's easy for you to cling on to one thing you can't control yeah and i want you to know
24:33that like
24:33you don't like we can help you be in control like you don't have to do it by yourself
24:48like a threat that starts when i believe
24:55and all the pieces never seem to fit
25:01when you feel you can breathe
25:08when you're lost in the dark i'll be here in your heart
25:11hi buddy
25:21this is taylor's last night before she flies out for the bachelorette
25:24and i'm just dropping ever off this is kind of like the last
25:29like our our last time like actually kind of seeing each other
25:32before she goes away and uh yeah it kind of feels surreal
25:38there's part of me obviously where i want to go over there because like i know she's leaving
25:41like and i'm not going to talk to her i think for like two months
25:45so yeah i'd be lying if i didn't think there was a piece of me that just kind of wanted
25:48to go
25:50i don't know like see her be with her like possibly the last time like i don't know
26:07i don't want to go over there
26:14i'm walking on fire my debt is in pay
26:19i'll take myself higher so i'm feeling okay
26:23taylor's leaving for the bachelorette today dakota what happened last night
26:29um
26:50aspen and i are at taylor's house getting ready to leave to california for the bachelorette
26:56and we're supposed to leave in two hours
27:00taylor
27:03well it's 8 40. she is not ready she is still in bed and she is not feeling well
27:14what do you think we should do we're supposed to be leaving here like any minute
27:19by nine she's still sleeping you're her mom no you can talk too because i'm always the one that's
27:25like a the b to taylor yeah what'd she say she says she just doesn't feel like she just not
27:30feeling well
27:31she says she can't get on the plane and that you guys can go and she'll just have to meet
27:36me there
27:37she's just she's like there's just no way i can get up right now and go
27:42this is ridiculous i'm very frustrated right now with taylor she has this huge opportunity
27:50and i feel like a part of me is like she's not gonna go
27:53i know that you have anxiety i know that there's a lot going on that's not why i know you're
27:58sick
27:58i know
28:01the same there's a commitment that you made i don't want her to blow this opportunity to
28:07possibly find love and also to get on with her life aspen and i are going to get on this
28:14plane
28:14and i'm hoping that taylor will meet us there in california i expect you to be there tonight
28:25okay you two are sitting in the very back right here yeah oh my gosh do we have everything
28:33we're gonna miss our flight
28:38on our way for the first week of bachelorette who's not even coming with us who's a no-show mom
28:44you're
28:45crazy huh
29:05me and the girls are at the airport ready to surprise taylor we decided to make signs for her
29:09new adventure she's been through so much kind of send her off on her little mission to the bachelorette
29:14because in our church when someone goes on a mission usually when they come home people have
29:18signs welcoming them back you'll see that a lot at salt lake airport so we're sending her off to her
29:23mission to the bachelorette and we're ready for her to be away from dakota and find her real man
29:29it's 9 45 it leaves it leaves at 11. where is she was she with dakota last night yes 100
29:36she was
29:37with dakota last night so i am genuinely stressed that she like told him like i'll stay for you this
29:42morning jordan heard from dakota taylor slept with dakota again last night go self-sabotage jesse tells
29:49us that jordan told her that dakota slept with taylor last night oh my god i thought i couldn't
29:55get more disappointed right when we're like yes she sees it she sees her worth it's like she's going to
30:01the bachelorette she's ready to start this new journey we're so excited for her she's back sleeping
30:05with dakota again and i'm so disappointed i'm so disappointed i'm definitely disappointed in taylor
30:10i don't think that this was a smart move to do right before the bachelorette to be frank if i
30:14was one of these
30:14guys and i found out that she effed her baby daddy the day before meeting me i would be
30:19extremely upset and pissed dakota's trying to pull out all of his cards because he's desperate like
30:24he's doing anything he can to get her to not go like i'm shocked but i'm not shocked at the
30:29same
30:29time i'm just tired i'm so over this i'm just hoping dakota doesn't sneak there at some point i'll
30:34be happy in the check luggage let's be honest is that ben that's not bad weird no that's bad
30:40what the fuck up do you like my sexy socks i was just going to comment on your sexy socks
30:47wait wait that's not them that's not oh it looks exactly like it i about died you guys
30:54she only has 40 minutes 40 minutes until boarding ends wait she's right there coming down right there
31:01i can see that rat's neck for a mile away you guys wait oh that's aspen okay i'm gonna yell
31:06okay that's her mom that's her mom that's her mom there's aspen wait where's taylor she's right
31:10there wait wait where is she
31:13but that's asking her mom where's taylor taylor's not even there what the hell where's taylor
31:19he's gonna be the bachelorette oh my gosh look at that wait where's taylor
31:28she's not coming she's not for real not she's not coming you're joking no i'm being dead
31:35i heard about this is it because of dakota oh no we don't know why what's going on she slept
31:41with him
31:42last night no sir for real no sir you guys are freaking kidding me you're joking right no no no
31:50i don't know why we're i got a little literal so why the hell are we going and doing all
31:54of this
31:54oh my gosh it makes me actually very sick that she would put this whole deal on in jeopardy
32:01why isn't she here she wouldn't get up we could not get her up and she's like i'm not going
32:06right
32:06now i can't do it you guys and then she's like you guys get on the flight and go okay
32:11no she's gonna
32:12send you without going like what's the point of that hey i need you to call me like asap
32:17i hate dakota and taylor i'm like i love my sister but i'm like we're both like pull it out
32:22of your ass and you can't be this mad at shania and then give him a pass and like i'm
32:26so i cannot
32:30i freaking hate him don't forget to drop your baggage yeah i know i'm sorry i'm sorry leon
32:38come here give me a hug i'm sorry i know this is so bad you guys taylor not showing up
32:45at the
32:45airport is not only a bad sign for her and her journey in the bachelorette but also for mom
32:49talk like she's gonna choose dakota who's been kind of ruining her life for the last three years
32:53over something that is a fresh start like all of us in mom talk we've all tried so hard to
32:59help her
32:59and we've all been there for her but i think it backfired on us i'm like so frustrated i'm so
33:04pissed
33:05i don't even want to get on the plane no this is well you guys shouldn't if she's not coming
33:09she has to go
33:10she has to she's already announced it i'm gonna go on this flight and she better be there today
33:15or i'm cutting her freaking off do you want us to go to her house and drag her to bed
33:19tell her she
33:19better get her you could go ahead and tell her if she doesn't get up and go that she's losing
33:24everybody her help i'm done she'll be done i'll be done this is so bad taylor is like an addict
33:32when
33:32it comes to dakota we're just trying to help her we spent hours making these signs we showed up early
33:37at the airport to be there and send her off but seeing her mom and kids come to the airport
33:42without
33:42her and saying she's not coming i'm like great my worst fears have come true she's going to sabotage
33:47this entire experience for dakota and she's never going to get better i love you i'm sorry i'm so
33:53yeah go to her house okay go to her house we need to go take these to her door and
33:58be like
33:58look we were here to support you let's help you stomp him
34:10she's not going to let us in you guys i don't give a i'm going to break her window by
34:14her bed
34:15it's a sunday i should be in church praising the lord and here i am
34:20does anyone know her doorstep i don't care but i know there's a big rock by her window we can
34:25slap
34:25this i'm just not sure how to approach this yeah i don't know if we approach it angry or like
34:29i just
34:30don't know she's not going to answer you guys do you have a text sent out almost okay locked
34:38you guys should we go around back yeah let's go tap on the window oh hey what about this one
34:46no it's
34:46locked i thought it wasn't it oh wait it got in but there's something there is it dakota oh my
34:51god
34:52what's wrong with this now that we've successfully broken into taylor's house i think we can
34:56officially add breaking and entering to our resumes should i wink i can't wink i've been working on it
35:05is she gonna be so mad at us well leanne told us to do this there's her bag like half
35:10packed
35:11it's half packed yeah oh my hell taylor i think it looks like she didn't fully go
35:16you guys what do i do we're already in here guys now we can't leave so we have to do
35:21stuff
35:21we're already just like pop your head in just don't like don't say anything
35:24unless she's awake because i don't wake her up
35:29taylor
35:33yeah i'm here mom talk your mom sent us
35:39i mean why are you here
35:44taylor you have a responsibility why aren't you on the plane
35:52i mean you were with dakota last night you weren't that sick
35:59i mean if you don't want help we'll leave but we're just trying to get you on that
36:05because you said yes to bachelorette you should have said no you're not well
36:10i'm feeling definitely sick exhausted drained my friends want the best for me and they're you know
36:16in my house trying to get me to go and i really appreciate it i'm just to a point where
36:19it's like
36:19so low that i don't even want them to help me like i'm sorry but i'm just sick of supporting
36:24you
36:24when you keep doing this your mom's pissed your sister's pissed like you're sending them to la with
36:28your kids and you can't show up like just say no to the bachelorette sucks that we woke up at
36:346 a.m to be there for you so over it all of us girls are honestly going through a
36:39lot right now
36:40mikaela and jace's marriage is going through a really hard time jesse is contemplating divorce
36:45every day i'm dealing with my eating disorder and the last thing that we need is our leader taylor
36:50to be falling apart as well i just feel like she's kind of the glue to this group and if
36:55she's
36:55not doing well then mom talk is not doing well either let's just go and let her deconstruct on her
37:01okay we'll leave taylor but we hope that you make one of the later flights today
37:06go talk to dakodex you can talk to him and not us
37:25thank you for talking to whitney for me yesterday are you eventually interested in talking to her are
37:29you just done with this friendship i don't owe her anything i literally told her i said whitney
37:35if anything jen's the least manipulative calculated person i know in fact she's so
37:40not calculated that like she gets herself in trouble jen wasn't planning on doing a live if
37:44she wanted to expose you for the way you've treated her she would have already watched the live it was
37:48very much i should i've said that no someone asked me if i'm rooting for her and i say no
37:54and now i owe
37:55her an apology that's what i told her i said i'm sorry i'm not rooting for you were you not
38:00just
38:00saying f you to me last week do you see yourself ever being friends with whitney again
38:10holy shit fuck you well i mean whitney's to me 2.0 like i have no interest in
38:21being friends interacting i'll always be cordial but like it feels like whitney ruined enough of the
38:28experience and it's sad to me that now that it's over we're still talking about it and it feels like
38:33it feels like she's like a parasite and no matter what thing we do it always like we can never
38:38just
38:38enjoy the experience for what it is and take the positives like and i just want to like focus on
38:42what you accomplished and the positives you took away you becoming a better dancer you growing as a
38:47person like that's what i wish we were talking about not whitney and her drama yeah when i got
38:52eliminated honestly i was so sad gosh i think the hardest part about leaving dancing with the
39:03stars was how much it brought back my authentic self and so when that journey was over i felt like
39:13it was almost stripped from me and so i just remember praying to god just being like oh please don't
39:19let
39:20that version of myself go away things are ever going to go right whenever talking to whitney
39:27to be honest i think that's why i want to go back to utah's i want to regroup go back
39:32to my family
39:33and friends and just really figure out what it is that i want i think we need to go do
39:38something fun
39:38we need to get out of the house and just go kind of go to the beach yeah we need
39:42to go to the beach
39:58this is the thing with being a part of mom talk is there are going to be relationships that ebb
40:03and
40:03flow but which are not even bothering to show up it seems that my friendship with her
40:07is officially coming to an end can i still be in this group and have jen in the group absolutely
40:12because i'm actually a mature adult right now my focus is on bringing home that mirrorball
40:18and then i need to pack for new york city and what's in new york city roxy heart
40:29it's official i booked the lead role in chicago and i'm heading to broadway
40:51i am scared to find a guy that will love me back and also be willing to deal with a
40:57couple baby
40:58daddies and kids but i think if i don't take this step i do stay stagnant in where i'm at
41:04this is not
41:05only like an opportunity i think for just finding someone this is an opportunity to get away from
41:09the toxicity i'm in here and i want out of it
41:16stop if you're running all on that american dream stop you're wild wanting sweet nothing
41:30i got a later flight i am in l.a i am exhausted but i'm here and i'm happy that
41:36i made it
41:38oh
41:47hi hi did you make it i did how was it good just really tired yeah i bet so taylor
42:00just landed and
42:01And I feel like this is the last chance
42:03I'll be able to kind of, I don't know,
42:06even like express to her how I feel.
42:08Essentially just the fact of, I've always wanted you.
42:13I do just want to say sorry for everything that I did.
42:18I know that that caused a lot of problems, not only-
42:22Can you be more specific what you're talking about?
42:24With Shania.
42:26For doing what? What did you do?
42:27Even with you, for, you know what I did,
42:29for hooking up with her.
42:30Well, be specific if you're going to apologize.
42:32Well, I think, I think everybody knows that.
42:35I want to hear it.
42:36Yes.
42:37I want to hear how sorry you are for what you did.
42:38I know I am, Taylor.
42:40I'm sorry for what I did.
42:42I'm sorry for hooking up with Shania.
42:44I think, was it dumb of me? Yes.
42:46Well, could I pick someone else? Yes.
42:48Like who it was matters.
42:50And that's where I think I went wrong.
42:52And I picked somebody that,
42:55I mean, obviously, yeah, it was going to come with problems.
42:58And, um, I think that was like very shitty of me to do.
43:04And it put you in a shitty spot.
43:06And I know that hurt you really bad.
43:07The apology is just words like it always is.
43:10How many times can he do this where you believe it
43:13and you suck back into it and it's not true?
43:15Wake up.
43:16I think there's a lot of pain.
43:17I think there's a lot of things we've done to hurt each other.
43:20But overall, I still think we love each other.
43:23It's toxic.
43:24That's the issue.
43:24I know it is toxic.
43:25I agree.
43:26But that's the thing is, I also, it doesn't have to be this way.
43:30We make it toxic.
43:31It doesn't have to be that way.
43:33This would be the best thing for us regardless of like what happens.
43:36Yeah, I agree.
43:37Like this would be the best like break and break off of like our cycles.
43:41And I think you could do a lot of healing.
43:42It's up to you, really, what you do.
43:45I just feel like, I don't know, like I am, I'm happy for you.
43:49Like I want you to be happy.
43:51And that's what I'm saying.
43:51If you do find someone, like great.
43:53But all I'm going to say, save a rose for me, okay?
44:00Aww.
44:00Like if you don't find someone, like I know I've been acting like such a dumbass.
44:05And I've kind of just like fell completely away from who I am.
44:08And like that's, that's why I love you.
44:12It's like, like you're the only person that could help me see that sometimes.
44:17I'm just like, hey, like this isn't who you are.
44:23Hey, just not.
44:24I think that's not secret to anybody, Dakota.
44:27What?
44:29Say it.
44:31That there's feelings there, obviously.
44:34Can you just admit that you still love me?
44:37I love you and I hate you.
44:40I think talking to Dakota is not a good idea.
44:43But it's a hard pill to swallow that it's done and I need to move on.
44:46It hurts.
44:47Just say it.
44:48Like, oh.
44:50At the end of the day, I do think it's an opportunity to get away from him.
44:53Absolutely.
44:53It's like a dream come true.
44:55Okay, they're about to film me getting away from her.
44:56Okay, save me a rose.
44:58Say it.
44:58Save me a rose.
45:02Okay.
45:03So just let me know.
45:07Okay, bye.
45:23The night is finally here.
45:25It's my annual Halloween party.
45:26Last year at the Halloween party, there was a lot of rowdiness.
45:29I have no idea how this is going to go down.
45:31But this year, I'm hoping that tonight we can just have a chance to relax and maybe have
45:35one night of fun.
45:38I am so happy to hear that Taylor finally caught a flight to LA for The Bachelorette.
45:42Things with Taylor and MomTalk feel a little unresolved right now, but I feel like The Bachelorette
45:47is going to be like an eight-week detox where she can't talk to Dakota and it couldn't be coming
45:52at a better time.
46:15It's still kind of awkward because I still haven't told the other girls kind of the state of where Jace
46:19and I are at and they don't know that the two of us are living.
46:22I'm living separately currently, and Macy's the only one that knows.
46:26I like my alone time for sure, but also I'm like, I don't like being alone at the same time.
46:31I'm just hoping it gets better.
46:34And I just don't want this information in someone's hand, like Jordan, who has a big mouth.
46:39Jeff Bass is here!
46:41Whoa!
46:42Whoa!
46:42Hi!
46:43I think it's definitely hitting me, the gravity of being separated and what that looks like.
46:49I think there's part of me that is definitely scared to lose him because I don't know how long it's
46:55going to take and I don't know how long he can be patient for.
46:59Yeah.
47:00I don't know.
47:01I don't know how to feel about it.
47:02Just feeling super nice.
47:05You can touch me all the time.
47:07Dan Humphrey!
47:08Hi!
47:09You're creamy as yours.
47:11Yes.
47:11You guys did so good!
47:13You were so good.
47:15I love this vibe on you.
47:18Naughty Schoolgirl.
47:19He liked it.
47:20Ooh!
47:21It's so good.
47:22I'm obsessed.
47:23It's a brand new day.
47:25Go to the rhythm of my own big girl.
47:27Oh my God!
47:30Oh my God!
47:31Are you okay?
47:32Oh my God!
47:33Did you leave a drug for me?
47:35I'm very grateful for Jessie and Miranda and how supportive they've been for me throughout this hard time.
47:41Sometimes when you're in the midst of an eating disorder, it feels like you're never gonna be better and you're
47:49never gonna, like, overcome it.
47:51However, Jessie found one of the number one eating disorder facilities here in the U.S., which is amazing.
47:57Hey!
47:58Hey, guys.
47:58Hello!
47:59Hi, Layla.
48:00Thank you so much for coming.
48:02I'm a little nervous, definitely.
48:04I feel like I don't know what to expect.
48:05Okay.
48:05We have all options.
48:06We have 24-hour care.
48:08We have outpatient.
48:09So we'll just kind of see what kind of fits your needs, what you're looking for.
48:12I was definitely anxious going into the center.
48:14They kept telling me that they weren't gonna check me in and have me be impatient, but that didn't happen,
48:20so that's good.
48:20Are you guys, are you all schoolgirls?
48:22Like, what's going on?
48:23How are you? I've listened to your book.
48:25Okay.
48:26I'm like, I'm an hour left.
48:28It's fucking so good.
48:29Yeah.
48:30I'm actually shocked to hear that Mason read my book and he was saying how much he loved it, which
48:33I was like, wait, what?
48:34I'm like, sorry, I didn't know guys, like, read books.
48:37Maybe that's so horrible of me to say, but like, despite everything going on in MomTalk right now, the reason
48:42why I wrote this book was to inspire,
48:44I think that's what keeps me fighting to save my friend group, to save MomTalk, and keep them away from
48:49all these toxic men.
48:50Because I've been through a lot of challenges, heartbreaks, hardships, and I just want my friends to be happy.
48:54I just want us to thrive.
48:56And that's a big purpose behind what I do.
49:05It looks like his type, so.
49:07We're like, we're like, we're trying to figure it out.
49:09Oh.
49:11Hi.
49:13You came here?
49:15You're crazy.
49:17You're crazy.
49:17I'm not crazy.
49:19I cannot believe you're here.
49:21Wait, wait, hold on.
49:23Oh.
49:24So Shania shows up, and, uh, damn, this is a tough spot.
49:30So it feels a little awkward, obviously, like, seeing her.
49:33And the last thing I want is for us to have some shit show happen, like, the last Halloween.
49:38Why is he talking to Shania?
49:40They're back together.
49:43He's so dumb for doing this right now.
49:44I'm glad we made a sex pack for sure.
49:46That was cool.
49:47Yeah, that was badass, huh?
49:49Well, to be fair, I also thought it was going to last a lot longer than what it did.
49:54You broke it, not me.
49:55I know, but hang on.
49:56Wait, I know.
49:57No, no, no, no.
49:58Oh, my gosh, okay.
50:00Technically, okay.
50:02Oh, fuck.
50:03Dakota!
50:05I didn't even, well, I never got the chance to even tell you this.
50:08So, uh, yeah, you're going to fucking hate it, but you already know, probably.
50:16It was freaking Taylor.
50:19The truth is, this right now, okay?
50:23This is what I am right now.
50:24I'm, like, I'm just emotionally, like, I think a little bit more messed up than I thought.
50:29I thought I could maybe do it.
50:31I would love to be with Taylor.
50:32I would love that opportunity and maybe there's a chance that this could be something that
50:36she needs.
50:37If she goes out and dates, like, 30 handpicked men for her and ends up choosing me at the
50:42end, I feel like that's also maybe, like, a good sign for her.
50:46Like, maybe that would help her.
50:48Yeah, but I'm also, again, I'm in a position to where I don't think I can sit and rely on
50:53that either of having that hope.
50:55I do want to, you know, I really did care a lot about, like, how everything went down
51:00and that was really hard to watch.
51:02Oh, I'm sorry.
51:03I don't know.
51:04And I'm like, sorry, you had to go through that.
51:05I just don't ever wanted to come back on Brandon.
51:08That's my only thing that I care about.
51:10Being back in MomTalk, it's no secret that Taylor and I have kind of been through hell.
51:16I mean, it's been one thing after the next, it seems.
51:20You think Taylor should still be leading MomTalk?
51:23Personally, you know, maybe we just raw dog MomTalk, no leader.
51:34We have come so far in just the last few years, especially here in the Utah Mormon culture,
51:39because MomTalk has flipped typical gender roles.
51:41We're breadwinners, not trad wives, with Taylor being bachelorette, Whitney and Jen doing Dancing
51:46with the Stars, Macy in her book event, Layla in modeling.
51:49We all have so many cool things happening for us.
51:52Oh, I love it!
51:53It really is true that in life, what you do doesn't matter.
51:56It's who you spend your time with.
51:57So having a good, supportive group of friends makes your accomplishments even better.
52:03I'm not here, because I need to pray.
52:04Okay.
52:06I needed to talk to somebody about this, because, like, it's kind of been freaking me out a little bit.
52:10But, like, Taylor told me, like, the last time that we did it, that she was, like, ovulating.
52:21So she could be pregnant.
52:22Like, Taylor, randomly in bed, she goes, she's like, I haven't had my period yet, okay?
52:27And I was like, I was like, from, like, when?
52:29Like, and then she told me, and I was like, whoa, hang on, okay.
52:32Or I could ask this.
52:33Is she going to be a pregnant bachelorette?
52:35That's what I'm freaking, because they took her damn phone before I could ask her and say,
52:40hey, have you, did you start your period, or what's going on here?
52:42This is a movie.
52:43Like, deep down, like, you have symptoms.
52:45You know if you're pregnant.
52:46Like, especially.
52:47What's weird, too, is, like, then I was trying to think about, like, how emotional kind of
52:50she's been lately, too.
52:51She's been a little erratic.
52:52Yeah, like, a little bit more, to where I was like.
52:54God, Dakota, this is so bad.
52:55And then she was, like, sick a few times.
52:56Like, I remember telling me she felt sick a little bit, to where I was like, holy.
52:59But I just don't, I don't know anything.
53:02Can you fucking imagine, you guys?
53:04Like, she's the bachelorette, and she's pregnant.
53:06Like, that's never happened.
53:07I don't feel like they could keep her on for that.
53:09I'm scared to death.
53:10I don't know if she's pregnant.
53:11Oh, Taylor.
53:18What are you feeling?
53:19Is there a possibility that, you know, you could be pregnant?
53:44Feel the beat of my heart.
53:48Only you can make it stop.
53:53At the final part.
53:57Can you feel the beat of my heart?
53:59Beat of my heart beat of my heart beat of mine.
54:11You
Comments