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00:01what are we gonna do Dave I don't know you texted Calvin and Tina maybe going
00:07to Kalamazoo is not so crazy I don't know how this happened no I pride myself
00:11on always texting with precision I don't even care that a kid say periods
00:17aren't cool anymore I punctuate explanation point we aren't moving to
00:24Kalamazoo we just have to tell them we aren't moving right but we're not moving
00:32right do you think we are no unless you think we should I don't know what I
00:41think Calvin and Tina haven't replied yet they're probably freaking out losing
00:46their minds now guess this one breathe no Calvin come on dig deeper wait I know
01:03this one pepper jack really Calvin pepper jack this is for a wedding not subway hey
01:10guys hey so you're obviously wondering what that text meant what text uh
01:16something about Kalamazoo yeah no that's the one and just so you know it's not
01:20what you think oh well good never mind then I mean Calvin you're a man of the
01:28world so I don't need to tell you what going to Kalamazoo really means it's a
01:35sex thing yep yeah that's what it is it's a sex thing let's go to Kalamazoo baby
01:46anyway glad we cleared that up bye bye yeah we are DTK
01:57well well well hey handsome um excuse me miss I have to tell you that I am engaged
02:06well that won't stop me I've been known to wreck a home
02:22I'm sorry this would be easier if you'd stand still and you what over there
02:32sorry my fiance is just so hot
02:37oh so uh we need to talk groomsmen the network wants to add three more say what
02:45they're trying to launch a spin-off and so it's important to them that you use
02:49that guy from Sugar Ray and at least one property brother
02:54well am I still the groom I know I'm sorry thank you for putting up with my crazy life
03:01uh I get it it's just uh I don't even know those guys oh the network is setting you up
03:06on a zoom with
03:07them on Friday but they are on the East Coast so it is at 5 a.m I love you
03:17so did you talk to Chip yes and uh having a job interview with my mom's boyfriend wasn't awkward at
03:26all he only spent the first five minutes talking about how she has the gams of a 25 year old
03:35but what about the job offer it's crazy yeah I figured actually be the VP of human resources I'd
03:44get to rebuild the department from the ground up oh crazy in a good way how's the money it's crazy
03:55also in a good way yes but that doesn't change the fact that the job is still in Michigan which
04:03is crazy in a bad way besides what would you even do there I mean I could call Melissa she's
04:11principal
04:11at my old school now what happened to principal Kersey he quit after he won amazing race hey guys
04:19um me and Esme are going to hang out and do our homework Jim and maybe we should continue this
04:24conversation in the kitchen so is Esme his girlfriend now he won't say but have you noticed he started
04:36bathing yeah if he likes her it won't be any easier to talk to him about Michigan we can't just
04:42assume
04:42we need a snack we have apples Esme says all apples are blood apples well there are also peanut butter
04:51pretzels Gemma do you think Esme is mute this decision isn't just gonna affect Grover I mean what
05:05about the butlers Calvin would be devastated if I left yes and who would teen even get to replace me
05:11in
05:11the book club we keep talking about starting Esme has done a 180 on apples I think carnations could
05:24be pretty on the tables really Courtney I thought we discussed this yesterday oh right you told me
05:30carnations are cheap supermarket flowers no we agreed that carnations are cheap supermarket flowers
05:39are you okay yeah I'm just a little spacey today you know what I bought the cutest napkin rings up
05:45for
05:46your approval of course is my mama steamrolling you again it's fine honestly I would be happy just
05:55getting married at the courthouse all that matters is that I'm marrying you I'm sorry my mom shot down
06:03your idea of a hobbit wedding yeah she was all it's a wedding I do not want to see people's
06:10feet
06:13were you just imitating me what oh that's crazy
06:21thanks for letting us borrow these for the reception Dave you know it's funny Calvin when I bought these
06:26for my kombucha party you scoffed at me oh yeah I was scoffing at the boots Dave and now low
06:33and
06:33behold you want to borrow them huh oh have the tables have turned you know I could make this punch
06:39in the
06:39trash can you thanks Melissa I'll talk to Dave about it that sounds like a dream opportunity hello
06:50what's the dream opportunity it's an investment opportunity it's a Ponzi scheme but we're at the
06:55top we'd let you in but you'd be at the bottom and you don't want to be at the bottom
07:00Dave you don't
07:03even jaywalk I would in an emergency okay spill it what's going on okay look it's probably nothing
07:16but my mom's boyfriend offered me a job that is surprisingly not bad all right but it's in Kalamazoo
07:25Kalamazoo that's in Michigan we know but it's vice president of a human resource department for
07:36a pretty big company I know but I said it's in Michigan okay babe babe babe they ain't know it's
07:43in Michigan good for you Dave you're back in the game well look Calvin it probably won't happen so
07:49don't don't worry about it oh what does this mean for our book club I know no we'll never read
07:56the
07:56color purple
08:00no no no come on I don't I don't get this reference
08:04oh oh oh Gemma nothing will keep me from you Gemma Gemma you're my only white friend
08:18what is wrong with you Calvin our best friends are thinking about moving away and you're all like
08:23oh good for you Dave back in the game come on Tina I mean after all he's been through this
08:30year he
08:31needed a win well baby do you know where Kalamazoo is oh I got this one Michigan look Tina don't
08:41worry
08:42they're not going anywhere how do you know that it's Dave he always gets these harebrained ideas and he
08:48never follows through on any of them oh baby what if you're wrong you guys are close wouldn't it be
08:54weird if he was gone well it's weird having them here I just got used to it damn the whole
09:02boots smell
09:03like Fritos you don't like it I mean it's a toast for your brother's wedding do you really want to
09:15bring up the time he got his arm caught in a claw machine because he was trying to get a
09:19Furby see the
09:22funny part is he was stuck so long he wet himself
09:29no hey yeah actually Marty don't worry about the toast because the network just told us they've
09:39commissioned Aaron Sorkin to write it wait so I'm supposed to read somebody else's toast what no no
09:46no no no no no no man don't worry about it cuz Marshawn Lynch is gonna read it look I'm
09:54sorry
09:54Marty there's nothing I can do you know Sadie signed the contract any major life event the network owns it
10:02well I guess I'll never get to tell my Furby story you were gonna tell that story at my wedding
10:09it's it's so funny what that is not funny Marty look anyway man look it's out of my hands this
10:18whole
10:18wedding is about Mercedes show I'm just an extra in it huh okay here's a crazy idea what if you
10:28and
10:28Mercedes get married with me and Courtney next week wait a minute seriously why not I mean you
10:34could do it secretly you still have your big one on TV next month but your real vows they'll be
10:39with
10:39your family and friends with us I mean low bro I would love that man more than anything are you
10:46sure
10:46Courtney will be cool with this oh man no question if more of a mama we probably be getting mad
10:50at the
10:50courthouse or the Shire what is he talking about genius idea okay Malcolm was bumming about his fake
11:09wedding so I told him he could piggyback on our wedding piggyback right so when we do our vows they'll
11:17do
11:17theirs same guest same place all good but that's our wedding right but you said we'd go to the
11:25courthouse yeah but it's still our wedding our day and you just gave away half of our day without even
11:32asking me I thought you said you didn't care of course I care I'm sorry I'm sorry babe look I'll
11:42tell
11:42Malcolm look calling Malcolm and voicemail Michigan look Grover I know it's a lot to absorb but your mother
11:58and I respect that you're a person and that you have feelings exactly and as an equal member of this
12:03family you get an equal vote okay I vote no whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa we haven't even discussed the
12:11pros and
12:11the cons yet okay con I just started high school con I'm one of the cool kids there and con
12:20I almost
12:22kind of have a girlfriend in a way believe me we know leaving your friends would be hard it's the
12:29hardest part but you'd make new friends in Kalamazoo and but think about the money that we would make
12:34selling this house in Michigan we could buy a huge house with a pool oh yeah everybody wants to be
12:40friends with the kid with the pool no I can't swim oh come on Grover yes you can no no
12:47I forgot how
12:51Grover I know this is a big ask but you used to love it there and I could go back
12:57to teaching
12:58which is my passion well but what does it matter you guys have obviously made up your minds Dave have
13:06we made up our minds it looks that way okay well then why did you even ask me because we
13:17respect your
13:18opinion we're going against it but we respect it okay democracy sucks I am never voting again
13:29you're gonna have to Michigan is a swing state hey hey is Daphne still down for her now yep all
13:42right I'll get her unless you want to should we discuss it first I will get her great great great
13:52same page I support you what did you do something insensitive and she reacted quite vigorously and I
14:03was very much caught off guard she has been emotional and she's been forgetting things very interesting
14:14blue it's blue
14:29uh Mrs. B what's going on
14:36you're pregnant again wait what is that is that possible no maybe I've been so stressed about the
14:48wedding I guess I haven't been paying attention yeah and we have been a little cavalier oh my gosh oh
14:58cover
15:08so Malcolm did you hear the news uh people over on Marengo heard congratulations hey let's let's not
15:19let's not get ahead of ourselves okay we don't know for sure yet oh I do well what an exciting
15:24day
15:25Malcolm told me all about the plan I love it so much what plan uh Malcolm we have to
15:33discuss the plan oh wait wait a minute now what damn plan are y'all talking about and aren't you
15:43a
15:44vegetarian no mom she's a pescatarian hmm either way she's eating a half a pound of beef wrapped in
15:51bacon I know it's weird I've just been craving red meat lately
16:01I'm sorry what's happening
16:04oh my god oh oh oh oh oh cover your ears why why I'm a grandma again and again
16:19you know we haven't really had any girl time together but uh here we are peeing on sticks
16:30yep maybe we should have used a coaster uh-huh okay look look this is torture how long do
16:38your pregnancy tests take okay just breathe son maybe your mama's wrong you think so now that we're
16:47stick sisters you've been part of this family a lot longer than I have are they um crazy you said
16:55it
16:57yeah but don't worry it's a good crazy Mr. B he acts hard big softy oh yeah totally I could
17:07see that
17:09and Tina oh she's hard but I love her to death and Sadie I'd be honored as your stick sister
17:20to share my wedding with you oh my god oh come on come on come on spill spill turns out
17:35we're both
17:35I told you I told you I told you who is the queen who is the queen oh my god
17:41I'm gonna be a grandma
17:42I'm gonna be a grandma I'm gay oh this is so wonderful this is oh my god oh son son
17:48I got you
17:49I can't get a phone I can't get a phone I can't get a phone it's okay oh my goodness
17:54hey good timing
17:55great news Courtney and Mercedes are both pregnant well that's fantastic
18:02this is cause for a celebration champagne for everybody everybody except you two everybody who
18:11is not pregnant oh we're getting wasted yeah Calvin yeah can I talk to you for a second yes Dave
18:23we
18:24have peach juice if you want to make a bellini you know me so well which is what makes this
18:34so hard
18:37it's about the job oh man that's tough look don't worry Dave another opportunity will come along plus
18:46Michigan yeah no Calvin um I'm gonna take the job we're moving oh really wow look I hate to tell
19:04you while you're celebrating something so special I just I I couldn't keep it inside good for you Dave
19:10you know what happy for you you are yes yes man this is good news hold on Calvin please come
19:21on this is
19:22hard for me it must be hard for you why would it be hard for me because we're best friends
19:30yeah we're
19:32we're friends yeah Calvin we're we're best friends okay Dave we're next-door neighbors I've had neighbors
19:41before you and I'll have neighbors after you so now I'm just a neighbor I mean Calvin would just a
19:49neighbor have named a star after you I told you I didn't want no damn star well too bad it's
19:58right
19:58there oh yeah yeah which one it's one it shouldn't be there's a lot of stars up there it's somewhere
20:08in the crab nebula look the point is I'm trying to tell you how hard this is for me why
20:13can't you
20:14admit it that it's hard for you too maybe it's just not hard for me now come on man let's
20:19go in
20:19here and have a Bellini or do you want to stay out here and look for your damn star
20:26it's your damn star Calvin whatever day
20:58you
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