- 6 hours ago
Age of Attraction - Season 1 - Episode 08
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00:00:13I
00:00:14Excited very excited. I've been waiting for this forever
00:00:25I
00:00:26Haven't really felt like this about anyone. I am 38 years. You know, I
00:00:35Am 22 trying to roll with that whole age is just a number thing
00:00:42I really don't know if you're ready for this one. You ready? I'm 60
00:00:50Oh
00:00:50My gosh
00:00:5230 40 56. Yeah, he's 33 years older than me
00:00:57Jorge's literally the same age as my parents
00:01:03I never want to be surprised about something you've done. I came here with you not to feel alone
00:01:10I feel like you're not attracted to me
00:01:14We're kind of in a friend zone right now
00:01:16Okay
00:01:18Is he the right person? Did I pick the right person?
00:01:22Okay, I'm really done talking
00:01:24Can I get this mic off me please?
00:01:27This connection is not gonna be easy to find
00:01:31And I know I won't find this again
00:01:38Starting tomorrow you are getting visitors your friends your families
00:01:44Hi
00:01:46I've never dated anyone this much older
00:01:49I hope it works out well for them, but it's weird. It's weird being 23
00:01:53Mm-hmm
00:01:54And potentially having two immediate children
00:01:58Yeah
00:01:59I'm leaving everybody
00:02:01And everything I've worked for
00:02:03What the fuck am I doing?
00:02:05I'm just exhausted and I'm overwhelmed because I feel like I can't be myself with you
00:02:13Integrating a 22 year old girl into my life is definitely concerning
00:02:19Is there a future with us?
00:02:21I play my desire
00:02:22It's decision time
00:02:24Do you commit to taking this leap together?
00:02:27Play my desire
00:02:29Or do you choose a different path?
00:02:31Alone
00:02:35It sucks
00:02:52Did you get everything out of the bathroom?
00:02:55But I'll check the other rooms
00:02:57You work on your
00:02:59I think you need to get a garment bag
00:03:01Yeah
00:03:02I feel nervous anxious
00:03:05This is the last time I'm going to see her before the commitment ceremony
00:03:09Everything I can do, I did
00:03:11I'm super nervous about
00:03:14My alone time and you know, what is that alone time going to lead me to
00:03:18Think
00:03:20Part of me wants to commit to Vanessa
00:03:23And then part of me is like, is this right?
00:03:26Is this up and down too much for us to handle, you know
00:03:31And my fear of commitment continues to be my fear of commitment, right?
00:03:36And so that's
00:03:39It's a scary thought
00:03:41How are you doing?
00:03:42I got all your stuff ready for you
00:03:43Thank you
00:03:45How are you feeling?
00:03:46Okay, how are you?
00:03:47I'm good
00:03:50I'm sad, I don't want you to leave
00:03:51I don't even know what to say
00:03:54I know
00:03:56It's been fun
00:04:17I feel like we're breaking off
00:04:19This is like a breakup
00:04:22I don't know what to say
00:04:25What if I cry?
00:04:29Don't
00:04:29Don't cry?
00:04:31No
00:04:31Okay
00:04:31You'll be okay
00:04:34You look amazing
00:04:35Thanks
00:04:38No
00:04:42You're okay
00:04:44You're okay?
00:04:46You're okay?
00:04:46Mm-hmm
00:04:46You're okay?
00:04:47Yeah
00:04:48Promise?
00:04:49Mm-hmm
00:04:51I'm here for you
00:04:54Yeah
00:04:55Okay
00:04:57I just have PTSD, I think
00:05:00What?
00:05:01I don't know
00:05:01Just with like the history of my relationships not working out, you know
00:05:06And I feel like this is just another
00:05:09A failed attempt, you know
00:05:12Like it's not you
00:05:13I don't want to project it on you
00:05:15It's not you at all
00:05:16It's just
00:05:17I've just put myself out there before and
00:05:20Only to get hurt
00:05:22And I just hope like this doesn't have the same outcome
00:05:25That's scary
00:05:34Coming into this with Logan
00:05:35I had so many reservations because I had been so hurt before
00:05:40So there is this guard up like I'll be okay, I'll be okay, you know
00:05:44And maybe I won't be okay
00:05:46I just hope I chose right this time and I picked the right person and I feel like you are
00:05:52and
00:05:53I hope that you feel the same about me
00:05:56Yeah, I mean, I do
00:05:58It's really scary to
00:06:01Not put yourself out there for this many years
00:06:04Get this close to someone
00:06:06Only for
00:06:08Yourself to be devastated all over again
00:06:11And for the whole world to see
00:06:13Let's see
00:06:14Yeah, okay, okay, take care of yourself to see an older woman with a man 20 years younger like that's
00:06:21rare
00:06:21It's very rare and it's like am I delusional to think that it would even work?
00:06:27You know am I delusional to put my heart out there?
00:06:31I mean, he's like in the prime of his life right now, honestly
00:06:40And why would he give that up for someone 20 years older than him?
00:06:44I'll hold out, I'll hold out, I'll hold out
00:06:49But I hope you'll prove me wrong
00:06:59You're leaving
00:07:00I know, I'm just trying to make sure I don't forget anything
00:07:03But you're forgetting me
00:07:06I think that we need this little bit of separation because we haven't had it
00:07:10And this is the first time that I think I'm going to be able to look at this from the
00:07:14outside
00:07:15Make a clear decision
00:07:17Clearly me and leah have had ups and downs since we moved in together
00:07:20But at the same time there's been much blessings from this relationship
00:07:24Even during the difficult times the care and the love for each other has always been constant and
00:07:29I think that it's very clear that I care so much for her
00:07:35So the question is is that does the good outweigh the bad and and are these good moments enough to
00:07:41continue in this relationship?
00:07:48Thank you for being you
00:07:50Thank you for making me a better person
00:07:52You're welcome
00:07:54You're seriously
00:07:58Why are you looking at me like that?
00:08:00Because you're leaving
00:08:03We didn't even get to dance yet
00:08:09Yeah
00:08:12We have a lot of thinking we both have a lot of thinking to do
00:08:14I know
00:08:15I
00:08:21I'm gonna miss
00:08:24I'm gonna miss you a little bit
00:08:25I might miss you too
00:08:26I think more than you think
00:08:30You're not gonna be able to sleep now because you're thinking about me
00:08:32Maybe I don't know about that
00:08:34What?
00:08:35I might be able to sleep
00:08:36No you won't
00:08:38Give me my kiss
00:08:42It's like bittersweet this morning
00:08:43All right, I'll see you
00:08:45I'll see you
00:08:45With the commitment ceremony coming up
00:08:47It's gonna be difficult
00:08:48We're still debating on how we're even gonna make it work here, right?
00:08:52Let alone commit to each other
00:08:54I know he likes me and we're leaving off in a great space right now
00:08:59But yeah, I don't want to put any pressure on it
00:09:02Because I don't know
00:09:03I don't know what the future holds for us
00:09:05Because the words won't buffer anymore
00:09:10How are you feeling?
00:09:13About what?
00:09:14Leaving
00:09:14Mm-hmm
00:09:15I feel like I've been the one that brings up, you know, some of the more challenging things and
00:09:21We don't know how
00:09:22Yeah
00:09:23We're gonna communicate after this
00:09:25Like we've only
00:09:27Ever been in this bubble
00:09:28So like we don't know what it's like to text or call or
00:09:32I've never done long distance before
00:09:34So those things naturally I feel like are are things that I'm thinking about
00:09:39Yeah, I'm glad you brought it
00:09:42Um, up because I just wasn't even thinking about it that way at all
00:09:47I think I'm just someone that is very realistic
00:09:50Yeah
00:09:50And you know
00:09:52Yeah, no, I understand
00:09:53I know that this has to end at some point
00:09:54And just, you know, I mean, I wish we could stay in this little bubble forever
00:10:02But, you know, we have to say goodbye
00:10:05The fact that the next time I am going to see Andrew is a commitment ceremony
00:10:10Gives me a little bit of anxiety, honestly
00:10:14I know he's in his head and I don't blame him too much because
00:10:18Those doubts were in the back of my mind
00:10:20I just wasn't really vocalizing them
00:10:22There is a part of me that's afraid that
00:10:25The age gap between Andrew and I will just be too much
00:10:29And yeah, I have a fear that ultimately that will just
00:10:33Be too overwhelming for both of us
00:10:43Okay
00:10:46Bye bye
00:10:48See ya
00:10:49See ya
00:10:51See ya
00:10:55Bye bye
00:10:57Bye bye
00:10:58Bye bye
00:11:27Oh, my God.
00:11:29Oh.
00:11:42Is that beautiful?
00:11:44Mm-hmm.
00:11:46Well, I will think of you every time I look at them.
00:11:50I was thinking about that this time away.
00:11:55I love supporting you, and I love being here for you
00:12:00when you're going through some shit,
00:12:04so I'll be thinking about you.
00:12:09Um, I'm gonna have some time just to, like, think
00:12:13and get myself, like, more centered.
00:12:16Um, and I'm gonna miss you for sure.
00:12:20We've gotten so close in such a short period of time,
00:12:24and living together was amazing.
00:12:27Um, I'm gonna miss that for sure.
00:12:30But I think this time apart is gonna be good for us,
00:12:33even though I hate saying goodbye.
00:12:38Um, so I'm glad I have these.
00:12:43I'm there with you.
00:12:44Okay.
00:12:49Well, thanks for being everything for me.
00:12:51Mm-hmm.
00:12:52And...
00:12:55Don't miss me too much.
00:12:57Impossible.
00:13:00I am in love with Theresa.
00:13:02The way she's allowed me to open up and be vulnerable
00:13:06and not put on a facade, which I've done in the past,
00:13:09and just the joy she brings me, like, when I wake up and I see her,
00:13:12and, like, that sense of home, it feels good.
00:13:18Am I hoping that we come out on the same page
00:13:22and even a little stronger?
00:13:24Yeah, and I think that's a possibility.
00:13:29But there's a chance that...
00:13:32It's gonna be weird.
00:13:33Yeah.
00:13:36She just gets way too in her head,
00:13:40and she might be a different person when I see her again.
00:13:45Bye.
00:13:46Okay.
00:13:46Goodbye.
00:13:56I have a huge, huge decision to make.
00:14:03There's no denying that we had a true and real connection
00:14:07from the beginning.
00:14:11Time is gonna let you down.
00:14:15However, I still have some doubts.
00:14:21Is this just the final call?
00:14:26It's a huge commitment to say that this person,
00:14:33who's 27 years younger than me,
00:14:35is my boyfriend.
00:14:38And that I'm going to commit to going forward with this
00:14:42and opening this up to the world.
00:14:48I don't know if I have the strength to see this through.
00:15:02It's cheers to this journey that we've had.
00:15:05Cheers to a big decision.
00:15:06A very big decision coming.
00:15:16How do you feel?
00:15:19I, you know, I know how I feel about you.
00:15:22I know that that doesn't always make everything
00:15:25A-okay and easy.
00:15:27I do understand the logistics of where we are in life.
00:15:32Geographical challenges, other challenges as well.
00:15:35So, you know, it's time to take all that into consideration.
00:15:40Yeah.
00:15:41You know, this whole time we've kind of been like,
00:15:43oh, we're in a fairy tale and everything is perfectly smooth
00:15:46and we're having no challenges.
00:15:48Which was true.
00:15:49It was true up until these last few days.
00:15:52So the fact that we're taking this time apart now,
00:15:55the whole, um, has me a little bit unsure about my decision.
00:16:05Um, a lot of questions have come up that I just have been ignoring.
00:16:09And I think I've been putting them off because I didn't want to ruin anything
00:16:14or have anything be different than what it was.
00:16:18So, like, while it is confusing and it's scary,
00:16:23I know that this time apart will end up benefiting both of us
00:16:29because my decision will be grounded and, um,
00:16:34and, like, it will be thoughtful.
00:16:36Yeah.
00:16:37And I respect that.
00:16:41I definitely think her concerns are valid.
00:16:44But one thing that I've done the last few days
00:16:48is try to truly focus on her feelings and her emotions.
00:16:53And I've taken myself out of it a little bit.
00:16:56And, obviously, we're going to have some time apart
00:16:58to where, you know, I'm going to have to think that through on my side as well.
00:17:03And what does that look like?
00:17:05Because it's a big commitment.
00:17:08And can she handle it?
00:17:09See?
00:17:11We're probably just at different stages in life.
00:17:13I have my boys.
00:17:15How will that match? There's so many question marks.
00:17:19I'd be lying to you
00:17:22if I didn't say I was a little bit nervous.
00:17:23If it's not too late
00:17:29If it's not too late
00:17:34If it's not too late
00:17:56So today is the commitment ceremony.
00:18:01I feel confident, but I don't know how she's been feeling.
00:18:05I don't know if she let the thoughts get to her or the stress of her kids get to her.
00:18:14You know, I support her and I'm here for her and my family supports, you know, our relationship.
00:18:21But I'm worried that Teresa hasn't bought in because of a lot of factors that I can't control.
00:18:33I'm fully committed to Teresa.
00:18:44And I hope she's ready to take that leap with me.
00:19:01My feelings are getting much stronger every day for John.
00:19:05I have to admit that, you know, I am falling for him.
00:19:09It's almost been too good to be true.
00:19:12But there's also a piece of me that still has doubts.
00:19:22This age gap difference is huge.
00:19:25And yeah, I'm scared.
00:19:32I have the option of walking away today.
00:19:35And, you know, I'd be walking away from a lot.
00:19:39I know that I will regret not having him in my life.
00:19:44But I don't know if it's going to be too much.
00:19:49Should we just take the easy route and go our separate ways and go back to our lives the way
00:19:58they were?
00:19:59I don't know if I'm ready for this.
00:20:03A final teardrop.
00:20:33We've gone through a lot of hard stuff early on.
00:21:00A final teardrop.
00:21:06immediate sense of calmness you bring me whenever I see you, us being able to laugh
00:21:15in the most serious moments, most intimate moments. I'm looking forward to that next
00:21:24step and we'll get there with the age thing. I need you to believe that age is
00:21:32just a number, but also believe in me that every day I'm going to show up and work on this
00:21:38together.
00:21:44When I decided to take this journey to find someone to share my life with,
00:21:52I said to myself that I was ready. When I met you, you drew me in with your smile,
00:22:00your energy and your steadiness. You made me laugh
00:22:09and you made me feel better than I ever had in the past.
00:22:16But for whatever reason, there was still something holding me back.
00:22:23When you met my kids and I didn't tell them your age, it wasn't because I was ashamed.
00:22:29It was because I was scared. Scared because if I spoke it, it would be real. Scared because
00:22:40of the things we might face from the world, knowing that the world is not fair and that there is
00:22:50a double
00:22:50standard against women who date younger men. So it got me thinking, maybe it would be better
00:22:58if I walked away before it got to be too difficult. And too real.
00:23:10I'm kidding.
00:23:15It's a lot.
00:23:20It's a really scary thing for me.
00:23:23If I let myself
00:23:28be totally vulnerable
00:23:31with you
00:23:34and the world,
00:23:35it's the hugest risk
00:23:38I will ever have taken.
00:23:45I just didn't see this coming.
00:23:55Just a tall 180 from what we were feeling.
00:24:01And we've shared some amazing times together.
00:24:06And you've been really patient and very understanding.
00:24:14But I just worry that it's too much.
00:24:20You're not up for the fight?
00:24:23I mean, I'm a fighter.
00:24:26I'm also just trying to protect myself
00:24:30and to protect you.
00:24:34I don't know what to say.
00:24:36There's a letter
00:24:37that my kids wrote to you
00:24:41that I want to read.
00:24:49All right.
00:24:51Dear John, it was really nice meeting you and watching you and our mom together.
00:25:00She just seemed so happy.
00:25:02And we haven't seen her like that in a while.
00:25:10Give me a second.
00:25:14We don't know exactly what the age difference is, but it doesn't matter to us after seeing you two together.
00:25:22We just want her to be happy.
00:25:26And you clearly do that.
00:25:28So we support your relationship.
00:25:30And are excited for whatever comes next.
00:25:34Love Lauren, Richard, and Michael.
00:25:45I just need to know if you believe that.
00:25:48If you're up for that challenge.
00:25:52And you believe and trust your kids that they support you.
00:26:00I need you to wake up every morning and see and believe and trust that your kids support this.
00:26:10And that whatever comes after that, we can, you know, go to battle.
00:26:16But it's up to you.
00:26:18I've said the whole time, the ball's in your court on if you believe that.
00:26:27I mean, it makes me feel a lot more confident and happy to know that they wrote that to you.
00:26:35I had no idea what it said.
00:26:38And so I don't want to walk away.
00:26:43In fact, I want to walk towards something with you.
00:26:48And I don't know exactly what that will be or what that will look like.
00:26:53But I think together, you know, we can navigate it.
00:26:58And I think if you are able to support me and my crazy anxiety.
00:27:09You know, we can make this into something really special.
00:27:15I think so, too.
00:27:16And I will be able at some point to maybe scream it from the mountaintop.
00:27:27But right now, I'm just going to promise you and commit to you to continue to build our relationship into
00:27:39something real.
00:27:41And something really great.
00:27:49I accept.
00:27:52Hilarious.
00:27:54I'm excited for whatever's next.
00:27:57And I'm thankful for this experience.
00:28:01And I want to continue falling in love with you.
00:28:08So do I.
00:28:09I love you.
00:28:11I love you, too.
00:28:13I love you too much to let you go.
00:28:16I'm good because you don't have to.
00:28:19Good answer.
00:28:20Good answer.
00:28:34All your dreams.
00:28:37And all your fears.
00:28:41You think those worlds collide.
00:28:47i'm feeling a little nervous i have confidence in derek and i have confidence in our relationship
00:28:53but i still have a lot of fears about my own future
00:29:00i just want to help i just want to know i mean i'm 23 i never imagined that i would
00:29:09be moving
00:29:09across the country moving for a man who has children and i think the fear is just coming
00:29:15from a place of not having experience in being in that sort of relationship or being with somebody
00:29:22who has kids this is a big decision essentially i either walk away without derek and i go back to
00:29:34my life in seattle or i leave with derek and i get something extremely different than anything
00:29:41i could have ever imagined when you let the love inside i'm conflicted it's like do i risk it all
00:29:49and change everything i know for a man and for a relationship or do i make the hard decision to
00:29:56end
00:29:56but you can't find a way to let me in
00:30:02not in a million years did i ever think that i would come into this experience and find such a
00:30:09real
00:30:09genuine authentic connection and you say oh i don't want to know
00:30:16it feels like i'm getting married honestly there's a lot weighing on it you know there's a whole life
00:30:23change that she has to consider the last conversation we had she definitely has some
00:30:28question marks and the nerves are there she's scared and giving up her life possibly changing
00:30:34her career i know that's a lot i'm wanting to be sympathetic and empathetic to that but i want her
00:30:41in dallas with me but i'm not sure that our relationship at this time is strong enough for her
00:30:48to make that change from the first day i didn't know exactly what it was but i knew i was
00:31:06extremely
00:31:07comfortable with you i felt at ease at peace from just a quick conversation like honestly that
00:31:14moment i knew like deep down that i didn't want to even explore any other options at the retreat
00:31:24and you know we continued on moved in
00:31:29and you know yeah there was some nerves it's not easy to think i'm gonna move in with someone that
00:31:35i just
00:31:35met but through that process i thought that it would be great but i was wrong like it was much
00:31:41better
00:31:41than i could have even imagined so for me you know the journey all the last and all the good
00:31:49times
00:31:49the challenges and tough conversations were just as important i feel like we've grown every point
00:31:57alone is right
00:32:00from the first day i knew that you were special despite our 20 year age gap i'm certain that my
00:32:10greatest blessing was meeting you i've always thought about and dreamed about the man i would end up with
00:32:17but you are far better than anybody i could have imagined
00:32:28and now i can't imagine a future without you in it
00:32:38i've been confident in your character since our first date but after moving in
00:32:46i'm certain that you were one of the best men that i've ever met
00:32:59it's been an honor to share this journey with you
00:33:04and the closer we get
00:33:07the more i know and the more i see just how great of a man that you are
00:33:20you are a phenomenal person sometimes it seems too good to be true but it really is just who you
00:33:29are
00:33:30and i feel like i'm the luckiest girl
00:33:33in the whole world to have found you here
00:33:38many people spend their whole lives looking for what we've found here
00:33:45if i were to leave here without you i may regret it for the rest of my life
00:33:52but if we were to stay together
00:33:56my life would look wildly different than i ever anticipated
00:34:04i would be sacrificing my entire life in seattle
00:34:09my friends my support and everything i've built over the last four years
00:34:22but today i'm putting the unknowns aside and i'm trusting my heart
00:34:29so i am 100 percent committed to moving to dallas
00:34:37and starting our journey together outside of all of this
00:34:48yeah that was a lot
00:34:52but i promise i'm always going to put in the work
00:34:57i'm always going to try
00:34:59i'll always protect you and i'll always protect your heart
00:35:03pfeiffer i truly love you
00:35:06so this is my gift to you
00:35:12it's a key to our place that's been my place
00:35:15thank you
00:35:17that means the world to me
00:35:19absolutely
00:35:21i don't want you to be alone and i don't want you in dallas in a separate place
00:35:24literally my place is our place
00:35:26i feel like the luckiest person in the whole world
00:35:30and i have this whole time
00:35:33thanks to all of us babe
00:35:58i think i just got one more breath
00:36:02i think i just got one more breath
00:36:09i came here to be able to open my heart up
00:36:12to find someone that i want to spend my life with you know
00:36:15when i think about my future
00:36:17i just want to be happily married to a wonderful guy
00:36:20and despite all of her ups and downs
00:36:23i think it could be chris
00:36:25i got one hand on the edge of this cliff
00:36:29and i can't see the girl
00:36:31i'm like a hopeless romantic you know
00:36:33so i would like for this to work out with chris
00:36:36we have something here
00:36:38we are finally in a great space
00:36:40but this step is big
00:36:42i'm 41 he's 26 you know
00:36:45so is he really ready
00:36:49i'm not sure
00:36:50i can't give up hope regardless
00:36:55i feel very uneasy
00:36:57clearly me and leah have love for each other
00:36:59because we have been on an emotional roller coaster
00:37:02if we didn't have love for each other
00:37:03as soon as it got really dark
00:37:05we wouldn't be here anymore
00:37:06the question was
00:37:07and still is
00:37:08are we in love
00:37:12leah is somebody that i have built such a connection with
00:37:16and a care for
00:37:17that i want to look past what we've dealt with
00:37:21and try to move forward
00:37:22at the same time
00:37:24i'm trying to figure out
00:37:25am i ready for this or am i not
00:37:29because it's a decision that will affect me forever
00:37:34logic emotions my head my gut which one do i listen to and there's so many voices whether
00:37:40it's outside or in our own heads that are telling us to do a certain thing and i'm trying
00:37:44to just ignore everything that society says should happen and listen to what i know is true which is the
00:37:52the voice in my heart telling me what is right
00:38:00you look good
00:38:01you look beautiful
00:38:03i mean
00:38:09prior to this
00:38:11retreat i was praying that god would send me and my person
00:38:15and i was really hoping well maybe they'll be at this retreat
00:38:19and then i met you and then from our first conversation i knew we had something special
00:38:27and our first gift was fire you lit something inside of me that i thought was gone
00:38:35i know we've had our fair share of ups and downs but for me the good times outweigh the bad
00:38:49you challenge me to do and be better and i thank you for that
00:38:56thank you for hearing seeing and always telling me to just be me thank you
00:39:07from day one we've talked about being honest and being open and i think that the most important
00:39:14thing i want to highlight is just how honest and open you've allowed me to feel
00:39:20you've challenged me you've helped me grow and i hope i've done the same i can't thank you enough
00:39:28for the experiences that we have lived
00:39:37we've had ups and downs and there's no doubting that there has been difficult times and there's been
00:39:43beautiful times and i want to remember both i think that we do need to continue to be honest with
00:39:54each
00:39:55other and you know we've talked about our age difference many times and maybe the age gap was
00:40:05harder than we thought but here we are and i think we've both made a decision that will impact our
00:40:13lives and our families and i just hope and pray that's the right one
00:40:19i think i just wanted you to be able to see what i see and i wanted to show you
00:40:25the world i want to
00:40:27see more with you and i want to get you out of your comfort zone you know and i do
00:40:33want to challenge
00:40:34you in all the ways that i can and i love it when you challenge me too i can see
00:40:39myself growing with
00:40:41you building with you um i know it's not easy i understand that we weren't at our best
00:40:50and it's like i want to see you be at your best and me at my best and see how
00:40:54we can be our best
00:40:54together i would like to commit to you excuse me so wow
00:41:20so we've talked about our differences and we laid out what we want out of a partner from day one
00:41:27i
00:41:27think we both want to have a family i think we both want to settle down i think maybe we
00:41:31wanted
00:41:31a different paces i do think that the age difference did cause an unnecessary pressure on both of us and
00:41:37put us in a situation where for the first time in my life i felt like it was hard for
00:41:45me to be myself
00:41:57and that's why ultimately i feel that this partnership is not right now
00:42:16and ultimately i can't move forward with something that i don't feel is 100 right
00:42:22and i don't feel like that's fair to you i don't feel like that's fair to your family or mine
00:42:27so i i am deciding to end this relationship here
00:42:39honestly i will cherish every single freaking moment and experience and i hope that this is the
00:42:45end of a friendship that i truly value so seriously thank you you're welcome
00:42:54and you are a beautiful person inside and out
00:42:58can you have a hug
00:43:10it's nice meeting you
00:43:14it's nice meeting you
00:43:28it's nice meeting you you're welcome to be with you and you're welcome to be with you
00:43:28you they'll be with you and they'll fight that's why i was willing to give us a shot and see
00:43:33if we
00:43:33really could get it together but he wasn't i've always want to be chosen but i wasn't going to
00:43:41beg someone to choose me i also can't turn a boy into a man either
00:43:44i was hoping to find my love here at the retreat but i didn't overall i think i've just learned
00:43:55who
00:43:56i am and i'm a very strong intelligent beautiful woman and my future partner will be happy to be
00:44:03with me and i'm excited for him
00:44:06no words left to say cause i'll be okay i'm strong now
00:44:27i'm definitely a little bit unsure
00:44:33you know the last few days i've definitely been in my head i mean there's so much fear there
00:44:40that the age gap will be too much where we're at in our lives will be too much the timing
00:44:45the distance
00:44:52are we too far away from where the other person is in life and i would be lying if i
00:45:00said that that
00:45:01still doesn't cross my mind every single day with libby
00:45:06there's definitely two sides going back and forth that's like it's not going to work one's going
00:45:13off of previous experiences and all of the things that that haven't worked and then the other side of
00:45:19is like my heart can you see the shoes worn out of my feet i'm a bit nervous going into
00:45:30this me and andrew
00:45:31have been so solid this entire experience i don't think i expected to get to this point this morning and
00:45:38be questioning things
00:45:41but the past couple days he's brought up the thing about him worrying about taking from my life and
00:45:49the distance between us so i'm smiling a little bit too andrew's doubts are putting more ideas in
00:45:57my head i'm i'm like wait is he right is this going to work
00:46:05his doubts have now become my doubts and i think all of this is really starting to freak me out
00:46:17i don't know how he's feeling and i don't know if he's decided that the age difference
00:46:24it's too much so i think it's very possible that andrew's going to break my heart on this mountain today
00:46:44thanks you look handsome
00:46:52i came here hoping to find something but i don't think i truly believed that i would find something
00:47:01real there's a part of me that wonders if this works when we're outside of the bubble that we've been
00:47:09living in you're 22. i'm 38. that's a big gap
00:47:18your life is just getting started you're figuring out who you are what you want where you're going
00:47:28and i'm settled in the life that i've already built
00:47:33the biggest fear for me is keeping you from your dreams even though you're a part of mine
00:47:47i understand what you mean and obviously i've been thinking about that too you know that sometimes
00:47:54it's hard for me to really express how i'm feeling with my words and sometimes it's better and easier
00:48:03for me to write it out so i wrote something
00:48:15coming into this experience i hoped for the best but i truly never thought that i'd meet someone like
00:48:21you you have everything that i've ever wanted in a guy which is incredibly rare because that includes
00:48:27some outrageous things like someone who will sing taylor swift with me and manifest
00:48:33you challenged me to open up in ways i never have before and brought out a side of me that
00:48:39not many
00:48:39people get to see i love the way you talk and care about your daughters and the way you protect
00:48:45them
00:48:45in every aspect shows what a great dad you are hearing about your experiences as a father has
00:48:51been one of the many things that drew me to you with that being said i know that that comes
00:48:57with a lot
00:48:57of weight and it's something that i don't take lightly and i know that you're worried about our age gap
00:49:04and the fact that i'm 22 and you think that there's a possibility that you could be taking too much
00:49:11from
00:49:12my life and it has me thinking the last couple days about what it is that i really want
00:49:21and i really feel like it'd only be an addition to my life
00:49:34i've had a lot of time to think as well and the truth is
00:49:45no matter how much i doubt the age gap the distance the timing i don't doubt the way i feel
00:49:56when i'm with you when we first got here you asked me if i ever thought i could fall in
00:50:10love
00:50:10before the end of this and i remember saying
00:50:17i think someone could but i didn't think i would be that someone
00:50:25i was wrong
00:50:29because i have and i do love you
00:50:36you have opened up things in me
00:50:41i thought we're shut down for good i've been waiting a long time for something like this
00:50:49a really long time and i feel like it's finally my turn
00:50:55like this might actually be my rom-com happy ending i know i'm so cheesy no i love it
00:51:08i've been thinking a lot about what happens after this and i don't know what your generation
00:51:21calls it these days hard launch soft launch probably something way cooler than what i'm about to say
00:51:34but i would really love to leave here with you as my girlfriend do you want to hard launch me
00:51:42i want to hard launch you i'm gonna need you to answer before i continue okay okay
00:51:50i want to commit to you and i want a relationship with you outside of here because i also love
00:51:58you too
00:52:10so there is one more thing my daughters they are the most important thing to me
00:52:21with you you make me feel safe make you feel safe to open up that box again
00:52:31and i would really love for you to come to baltimore for you to meet my daughters because
00:52:39i do see you in my future forever that means the world coming from you
00:52:48that's really sweet i think that i know how important your daughters are to you and i want you to
00:52:57know that
00:52:59i think that that's something that's equally important to me and i think that if you were
00:53:06willing to open that part of your life to me i would be happy to be a part of it
00:53:15i really do i really do love you i really do love you too
00:53:41i'm in a really good place in my life i'm getting ready to turn 50 years old i've never felt
00:53:48more
00:53:48comfortable in my body financially spiritually everything and the one thing that is missing is
00:53:54love i thought i was never gonna find love again but logan makes my heart feel full and he gives
00:54:06me hope
00:54:06and he makes me feel alive there's no more goodbyes i'll build it all with you
00:54:16logan and i have had a lot of ups and downs we're finally at a really good place except for
00:54:23the question
00:54:24mark is he ready for a commitment is logan gonna take a step forward and be ready for a commitment
00:54:30or is he ready to go back to his party boy lifestyle in dallas and i'll go back to ohio
00:54:37and start over
00:54:38from square one
00:54:46the thought of going home alone would just be devastating i don't want this to end
00:54:58i've obviously fallen in love with vanessa our love feels so in sync it feels like something that
00:55:05i really i to be honest i didn't think i would find if i could ride would fuse my bones
00:55:16she loves me in a way that i haven't been loved before it's crazy that she's 20 years older than
00:55:23me
00:55:23but regardless of age i don't know if i'm gonna find anybody else like vanessa
00:55:32going into the commitment ceremony the unknown is am i going to be able to give her what she truly
00:55:37wants there's a chance that you know i get up there and see this woman that i've fallen in love
00:55:43with
00:55:44and it's picture perfect and there's a chance that i might not be able to meet those expectations there's
00:55:50a chance that we walk away without each other
00:56:00hi hey you look so cute good to see you i'm so nervous yeah right yeah
00:56:10can i hold your hands it helps me if they're nervous
00:56:16logan when i first met you you were such a gentleman we had an amazing conversation and then
00:56:24we go out on our date and you tell me you're worried about the optics of dating an older woman
00:56:29and i'm like what is up with this guy i can't figure him out so i was like forget it
00:56:35you know but
00:56:36you did a few things that were really important to me you apologized and you took accountability for
00:56:47your actions and that meant a lot to me so i decided i really want to give this guy a
00:56:53chance
00:56:58um yeah i feel that with you i opened up more than anyone else i've ever opened up to
00:57:06you in my life i feel safe with you and that's something that's so important to me
00:57:13i was really in a dark time before i came here you know i lost my mom and it's been
00:57:19almost a year
00:57:19and being with you you brought light back into my life and i'm happy that you're here i'm happy to
00:57:27be
00:57:27here yeah i mean our journey has been everything but picture perfect despite the whirlwind we found
00:57:41a connection and i think you know you challenged me and you asked me the tough questions and
00:57:49i'm happy to be here and wondered if i was ready for a commitment ready for something serious or i
00:57:56was
00:57:56just another flame for you yeah yeah but the reality is you have made me into a better man and
00:58:05going on
00:58:06this process with you it was like nothing i could imagine i'm glad after all those hardships that we
00:58:13landed in this place of peace and love and there's no more fighting and i don't want to go back
00:58:20to my
00:58:21old life without you in it so that being said i would like to bring you into my world and
00:58:29meet my family
00:58:30meet my friends and be by my side and you know as we move forward i'm hoping you would do
00:58:37the same for
00:58:37me and allow me to meet your friends and your family and be a part of your world because i
00:58:44really
00:58:44want you to be a part of my world is this part you break up with me here's the thing
00:59:11our journey is a lot of ups and downs and the chaos that we've found is it's you know is
00:59:24that toxic or
00:59:27was it healthy right and it's really made me question
00:59:35whether or not it's good for us, right?
00:59:41The time alone has made me realize
00:59:45that maybe I'm not the man for you.
00:59:53Maybe I'm not good enough for you.
00:59:55It's really questioning that.
01:00:01It's, it's, it has been difficult
01:00:04and I don't want to make promises that I can't keep.
01:00:11So,
01:00:18I need the promise ring back.
01:00:53It's been a tough journey.
01:00:57My first instinct is always the correct instinct
01:01:00and I should stick with my first gut instinct on someone.
01:01:05And maybe I was just trying to fit a square peg
01:01:08into a round hole
01:01:10and my picker was wrong once again.
01:01:15Yeah, but
01:01:19during my alone time,
01:01:21I've also realized that
01:01:24maybe I don't have to be the perfect man.
01:01:31Maybe I just needed to be the guy
01:01:34that was there for you
01:01:35throughout all the good times,
01:01:38highs and lows.
01:01:40somebody that you could talk to
01:01:42and count on.
01:01:43Somebody that would always be there for you
01:01:45just like your mom was before she left.
01:01:49And I think spending time with you,
01:01:53enjoying you,
01:01:55not realizing there was an age gap
01:01:59has made me want to commit.
01:02:06What is happening?
01:02:09What?
01:02:11I don't want this journey to end.
01:02:13Oh my God.
01:02:14What is happening?
01:02:16And, you know,
01:02:19it's been a crazy rollercoaster of a ride.
01:02:24But I'm not getting off anytime soon, hey.
01:02:28I love the shit out of you.
01:02:30And, uh,
01:02:32you know,
01:02:32I want to make a promise and a commitment.
01:02:37You're someone who deserves everything.
01:02:40What is happening?
01:02:41And someone who deserves the Kobe ring.
01:02:45Stop it.
01:02:46No.
01:02:48Is this really happening?
01:02:51Vanessa.
01:02:52Stop.
01:02:54I'm not ready to get off anytime soon.
01:02:56Oh my God.
01:02:58What's happening?
01:02:59So,
01:03:01we want to continue this journey
01:03:03and do life together.
01:03:15Oh my God.
01:03:16I'm shaking.
01:03:20Oh my God.
01:03:21Oh my God.
01:03:23It's so pretty.
01:03:24So let's do it.
01:03:25Oh my gosh.
01:03:26I fucking love you.
01:03:31Oh my God.
01:03:34Oh my goodness.
01:03:36You got red lipstick on you.
01:03:37Yeah, I know.
01:03:39Oh my God.
01:03:40I'm shaking.
01:03:41You tricked me so hard.
01:03:45When you started attacking me,
01:03:46I was like,
01:03:47oh shit.
01:03:49Oh my God.
01:03:51Oh my God.
01:03:57Age doesn't matter for us.
01:04:00As crazy as it is to
01:04:03get engaged to somebody
01:04:05that's 20 years older than me,
01:04:07it's Vanessa.
01:04:10She's the one that has changed me.
01:04:13She's the one that's made me feel ways
01:04:16that I haven't felt before.
01:04:17So, you know,
01:04:18at the end of the day,
01:04:20it's what I wanted.
01:04:21I ran every scenario
01:04:23of what could happen
01:04:24when I was coming here,
01:04:25but the one scenario
01:04:26I didn't think of
01:04:27was finding the love of my life.
01:04:29I came into this experience
01:04:32with a complete open mind
01:04:33and I'm really super happy
01:04:36with how it ended.
01:04:44I did not think
01:04:46I was going to come
01:04:47into this experience
01:04:48and completely change my life.
01:04:50What was your name?
01:04:51Derek.
01:04:52Derek.
01:04:53I'm Pfeiffer.
01:04:53I love your eyes.
01:04:55Me too.
01:04:57It's so rare
01:04:58that you find somebody
01:04:59that you connect with like this
01:05:00and I never would have expected it
01:05:02to go this way,
01:05:03but I'm so grateful
01:05:04that it has.
01:05:07You want to get me?
01:05:09Yeah.
01:05:09Pfeiffer's definitely
01:05:10a person I've been looking for.
01:05:12She's humble.
01:05:13She's loving.
01:05:14All of those are like
01:05:16something that
01:05:16I've definitely wanted,
01:05:18but I honestly didn't know
01:05:20that it existed.
01:05:21I've always thought
01:05:22age was just a number
01:05:23and damn, yeah,
01:05:25this experience
01:05:26really proves
01:05:27that it's just that.
01:05:28Only love can lie
01:05:31I came here
01:05:32to try something
01:05:33completely unorthodox
01:05:34to meet people
01:05:36from all different ages
01:05:37and if anyone said
01:05:38you're going to come here
01:05:39and you're going to fall
01:05:40for a guy
01:05:41that's 20 years younger
01:05:42than you,
01:05:43I'd be like,
01:05:43you're absolutely crazy.
01:05:46Romeo, Romeo.
01:05:50Is this supposed
01:05:51to be the opposite way?
01:05:52I think you're supposed
01:05:53to be up here
01:05:53with your hair.
01:05:54But what Logan and I have
01:05:55is something really special.
01:05:57So I am 49.
01:06:02I was going to guess 29.
01:06:08Why Vanessa?
01:06:09I mean,
01:06:10I could have connected
01:06:11with anybody else.
01:06:13There were 19 other
01:06:13women at the retreat,
01:06:15some closer in age to me,
01:06:16but I don't think
01:06:18I would love anybody else
01:06:19like the way I love Vanessa.
01:06:20She's one in a million.
01:06:22Where do we go from here,
01:06:23you know?
01:06:24What's next?
01:06:24We enjoy the night.
01:06:25Sorry.
01:06:28I thought I was going to go
01:06:29into the last years
01:06:31of my life alone
01:06:32and now,
01:06:33here I am,
01:06:34turning 50
01:06:34and I'm in love.
01:06:37When you're feeling heartless
01:06:39and you're in the darkness
01:06:41only love
01:06:42and light it up
01:06:44I got more than everything
01:06:45I've ever wanted
01:06:46out of this experience.
01:06:48I met somebody
01:06:49I never thought
01:06:51I would meet.
01:06:52One, go!
01:06:53Andrew does see me
01:06:55for the real me
01:06:55and not my age.
01:06:57He sees parts of me
01:06:58that a lot of people don't
01:07:00and he just recognizes it
01:07:03and he appreciates it.
01:07:04I don't think
01:07:04I've ever had that before.
01:07:05I'm enjoying
01:07:06what we have right now.
01:07:08I'm waking up to you.
01:07:08Yeah.
01:07:09Well, it's probably
01:07:10the nicest thing
01:07:10I'll ever say to you
01:07:11but the more
01:07:13I get to know you
01:07:14the more I like you more.
01:07:15I really do feel
01:07:16like I got my rom-com
01:07:18happy ending
01:07:19and I don't think
01:07:20I could have scripted it
01:07:21any better.
01:07:25I absolutely believe
01:07:26age is just a number
01:07:27because I never
01:07:29would have thought
01:07:30that I could connect
01:07:32with somebody
01:07:32that is 27 years old
01:07:35on this level.
01:07:38I'm going to go for it.
01:07:40I love Teresa.
01:07:41I love how
01:07:42she makes me feel.
01:07:44Right.
01:07:44And for seeing me
01:07:47for who I am
01:07:48and loving me
01:07:49and accepting me
01:07:51for the 27-year-old
01:07:52is a little more mature.
01:07:54It's the connection
01:07:55that counts
01:07:56not the candles
01:07:57on the cake.
01:07:57Should I grab your ass?
01:07:59Yeah.
01:08:00Yeah.
01:08:03Oh, I, oh, I
01:08:05I see it in a no-right
01:08:07No, I, oh, I
01:08:10I see it in a no-right
01:08:16No, I, oh, I
01:08:19See it in a no-right
01:08:40Ooh-ah, ooh-ah, I see it in a new light.
01:08:44New light, ooh-ah, I see it in a new light.
01:08:49I'm getting it with fresh eyes.
01:08:51I'm ready for the best thing.
01:08:54Ooh-ah, ooh-ah, I see it in a new light.
01:09:24I see it in a new light.
01:09:26I see it in a new light.
01:09:28I see it in a new light.
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