- 3 days ago
The Audacity S01E05 (2026)
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TVTranscript
00:10you should see the other guy
00:14no, really
00:16I took everything from him
00:30good morning
00:37hey guy hey buddy why does your desk have a patina of like crumbs of disrespect
00:46hi hey I need you to get it together today it's Bardolph day
00:49Karl Bardolph is on his way and what are you gonna say to a man like him
00:55nothing nothing you're an MPC
00:57and no no MPCs don't talk especially not when Bardolph's here okay
01:02didn't he like invent spam?
01:05excuse me you are not fit to wipe the ass of the guy who wipes Bardolph's ass
01:09and no he didn't invent spam he made the platform which made it insanely profitable
01:15yes Bardolph invented the future
01:18no yeah yes hey bright smiley faces today
01:23yes yes
01:31come on
01:33clean this up
01:44come on
01:48There's still some crumbs.
01:52Take photos.
01:53Hey, Carl. Carl, Carl, Carl. Welcome.
01:55Hey.
01:56Is that makeup?
01:58Can I get some of that?
02:00You see where smoke closed last night?
02:02Up 17%. I hope you took that bet.
02:04And don't forget to short it, then long it.
02:06You gonna tell me how you did it?
02:07Oh, look at you, beseeching me already.
02:10And nonviolently. I like that. I like this new you.
02:12We'll show you everything once we settle on board seats, okay?
02:17Yes, on that. My main man here, Stan Goodman, you met him last time.
02:21What do you think about one seat for me and one for my number two here?
02:24You'd let him call you that.
02:27How about four? We'll just do a whole dinner set.
02:29Two is appropriate.
02:30Oh, you'd really feel better with two, but I would not.
02:34But your enthusiasm for what we do in the area of predictive making a fuckton is noted.
02:40Perhaps we should hold off on the pictures while we figure this out.
02:45Still have some questions.
02:47Do we still?
02:50Then to the Dunkin' Den.
02:52Follow me.
03:00Sit, sit, sit.
03:02Can I get you a yerba mate?
03:04How about a nitro tea?
03:06Nope.
03:07How about $300 million for two seats and a 200% premium for half your voting shares?
03:13Founder's class.
03:14No, not giving up my class A. Enhanced voting rights are human rights for me.
03:18But one seat for $300 with performance milestones towards second.
03:26I think we are putting the cart before the horseshit here.
03:29How did you know about Orlando?
03:31Either that was some sort of trick or...
03:32No, it wasn't a trick at all.
03:34Then prove it.
03:35Like I said, once you're on board.
03:37Sure, I could be on board a giga yacht right now sipping a 300-year-old cognac with an android
03:42Beverly D'Angelo.
03:44But I'm here.
03:46I just want to look under the hood before I buy the damn car.
03:50Carl, Carl, Carl.
03:50You are a legend.
03:52A crotchety Jedi master.
03:55And I want you inside, too.
03:57But like as a hunchback monk whispering into the king's ear.
04:01Of course, signaling to the streets that we are worth the investment.
04:04No, no, no, no.
04:04I have taken too much shrapnel to be anybody's dancing bear.
04:08Duncan.
04:09Is it okay if Carl and I confab on your couch over there?
04:12You're going to get your number two all over my couch?
04:14That's funny.
04:16Of course, of course.
04:20Give him room.
04:32Gentlemen, we will be right back.
04:37What?
04:38Metamarks.
04:38Did she die?
04:42Source that Cupertino has confirmed hypergnosis is not being acquired by the tech giant.
04:47CEO Duncan Parker was suspect of leaking news of the buyout.
04:56Can you kill the internet?
05:00Kill the...
05:01Kill the internet.
05:04I can turn off the Wi-Fi?
05:11For a second there, I thought you were a unicorn.
05:13Turns out you're just a jackass with a dildo taped to his head.
05:16This is just static, Carl.
05:18A reporter just trying to stir the pot, you know.
05:21You know and I know what Wall Street doesn't.
05:24Okay.
05:24I mean, the algo.
05:26The predictive algo.
05:27Orlando.
05:28How much money did you make?
05:29Huh?
05:29Tim.
05:30Hi.
05:30Yeah.
05:31Well, listen.
05:32You're a piece of shit, too.
05:33Uh-huh.
05:34Yeah.
05:35I heard.
05:36Is it true?
05:38Meeting didn't even happen.
05:39Yeah.
05:39Dead in less than an hour.
05:40Okay.
05:41Thank you and eat me.
05:42Cupertino, Tim.
05:42Really?
05:43You hate him.
05:44He's lying.
05:45He...
05:45Carl, okay.
05:46Two seats.
05:47Two seats.
05:48Okay.
05:48You're twisting my arm here.
05:50What's our stock at now?
05:51What's the price?
05:51Down 10%.
05:53Then jump on in.
05:54Jump on in.
05:55Grab the glory.
05:56You know, stop that slide.
05:58You know, it all sounds a little bit too spry for a hunchback monk like me.
06:00Listen, Ryan, listen.
06:02I am sorry.
06:03I am sorry.
06:04You are Superman.
06:05I'm Lois Lane, okay?
06:07So how about you fly around the world, you know, turn back time, kiss me back to life.
06:10I, I, I, I, I, I am, I am, what am I doing?
06:14I, I am begging, I am begging.
06:30Oh, yeah.
06:32Oh, it's been a while since I smelled man blood.
06:35Nummy, nummy.
06:36Nice.
06:37Stan, where's it at now?
06:38Same buying gets at 17% of the company.
06:40Oh, hold on.
06:41It's refreshing.
06:43Nope.
06:4418%.
06:44Listen, you, you go down this route.
06:47You get nothing.
06:48You lose me.
06:48Permanently.
06:5019%.
06:52Hold on.
06:5420.7%.
06:55Ooh, that's a nice slice of beef right there.
06:58But Duncan only owns 20.
07:00Who's Duncan?
07:20Duncan.
07:21Duncan, um, that's my phone.
07:2720.9%.
07:30Okay, bye.
07:31And, uh, okay.
07:34Bye.
07:53Must you?
08:27Morning, Xander.
08:31Hey, what are you doing back there?
08:34Oh, hello, Martin. I... I messed up.
08:39What's that on your forehead, buddy? Come closer.
08:44I'm sorry. I'll get rid of it.
08:46Was that a bruise?
08:48Sir. I may have had an accident, playing with the haptics. Stupid me. My fault, my fault, my fault, my
08:56fault.
08:56Xander, stop that. Nothing's your fault. Now, let's get to the bottom of this, okay?
09:02There is no bottom, Martin. You can always go lower.
09:19You built it. You break it. You built it. You built it. You built it. You built it. You built
09:26it. You built it. You built it. You built it. You built it. You built it. You built it. You
09:27built it. You built it. You built it. You built it. You built it. You built it. You built it.
09:33You built it. You built it. You built it. You built it. You built it. You built it. You built
09:33it. You built it. You built it. You built it. You built it. You built it. You built it. You
09:33built it. You built it. You built it. You built it. You built it. You built it. You built it.
09:33You built it. You built it. You built it. You built it. You built it. You built it. You built
09:33it. You built it. You built it. You built it. You built it. You built it. You built it. You
09:39built it. You built it. You built it
09:48Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
10:10Oh.
10:13Microwave, one inch.
10:16Slipped.
10:17And two.
10:20Okay.
10:25How do you not have a microwave?
10:28And one of you killed yourself, God.
10:32I can't even order anything.
10:34I can't.
10:47what's so wrong with the internet huh they made us a lot of money made us a lot a lot
10:54of money
10:54oh you're ashamed you're ashamed yeah yeah yeah well you don't know shame
10:59you are the brains right the brains will drive you in the face
11:18um lelantro let's floris rojas over there si merci guys lili
11:31beepy oh what are you doing here thelma some iced tea hibiscus sure a little souvenir from napa oh
11:40oh thelma corkscrew i heard you've been posting on the neighborhood chat right and you accused
11:49pippa tang of being an arsonist who burnt down your house yes he's hot people should know who
11:57their neighbors are sigh okay stadium's the absolute priority i'll apologize i will grovel i
12:06will wear my knee pad no need to i already spoke with her and it went well she's maintaining her
12:13commitment at the 40 million dollar level so we'll announce it at the winter gala looks like we're
12:20getting our stadium until she burns it down i'm kidding no that's wonderful that really is it's
12:26really wonderful no well done theatres thank you uh she did have one ask she wants you off the board
12:35what did she say that oh my god oh i mean i run that thing
12:43wait the others took a vote what look i'm sorry but more time right now with the family could be
12:51good
12:51sorry was my family or perhaps my husband's public lynching part of the conversation here
12:58it was a wide-ranging conversation
13:25sorry for what sorry for what
13:36hey jameson what's up how are you wow you look unwell i'm just in the middle of something right
13:44now so yeah just tomorrow okay or you could just come home mom's upset that this house was haunted
13:52haunted because of uncle hamish no that was it was like five years ago it's not like he's swinging
13:58away in there so you um you know what happened with my company yeah something this guy bought like a
14:08controlling interest or something no not quite controlling and i still almost well not quite most of it
14:16it's just not ideal you know you really want to own most of it if you can i know your
14:23mom's worried
14:24right but neither neither of you have anything to you are my rich bitches and i i mean that like
14:34how you
14:34know gay men say it yeah and when you have kids of your own they'll be little rich bitches and
14:41well four
14:42maybe six probably not six maybe three generations of rich bitches unless there's someone someone had
14:48a gambling problem or there was like a populist uprising but as just so as long as the the stock
14:53is stable and i haven't i haven't checked on it in a bit can you can you go up to
14:59the street and just
15:00check ticker hgno yeah no i have a firewall i don't need your help yeah anushka the tess's stepmom
15:10she's on my board and an uncle gabe in my cfo he's not your actual uncle thing fuck
15:17i should i should check in on him dad you're like having a breakdown no need to get judgy with
15:25me
15:25okay you are the voice of what judging is now you you're so much tungsten cube oh my god i
15:33didn't
15:33take your stupid cube no admit it admit it what is it with you and this cube man now everyone's
15:38coming
16:01at me
16:03hey jamie jamie's head hey
16:29in today's episode hypergnosis when the laughter stops will icon powerhouse carl bardell be able to
16:36clean up duncan park's mess park a master class in how not to lead a company
16:57gabe hey gaby baby hey um can i come over
17:06gabe 2.5 mil is a steal around here no yeah i am i really appreciate the early viewing of
17:16course you saved my ass in behavioral psych
17:18uh-huh it's uh probably not big enough for offices for me and gary i forgot you married professor felder
17:29uh yeah he's uh no yeah i did yeah well there's like um offices you can rent for like 175
17:37an hour
17:38that would be a huge pay cut i'm still paying off my degrees yeah and gary's got his alimony and
17:44he
17:44stuck his parents in this money pit of a nursing home and then he had this tax penalty oh my
17:50god i just got a
17:51medical bill that insurance won't cover because my son put dog shit in his stool sample oh okay so
18:02you want to get high yeah
18:09didn't you have your own practice
18:12why'd you quit
18:14cancer oh shit
18:16girl i'm great i'm all clear i make my own schedule
18:22listen to those tech bros whine about their third homes okay forget money where do you want to be
18:32i don't know maybe somewhere i could watch the sunrise you know nothing nobody in my way
18:39you should move to gilroy grow your own weed get yourself some chickens
18:47i gotta ask what's professor felder's dick like
19:06human females dig offerings and used to hunt and bring back mammoth flesh this is how it is and
19:12how it always should be what are you going to do not give your female counterpart an offering
19:15um hey we need to see the nutritionist lady i'm running out of the stuff
19:20yeah you know listen i think she's the kind of person who would give you magic beans for a heart
19:25attack you know but it's working so it just feels like the dumb part of my brain's telling the smart
19:31part to just shut up it's a little disconcerting but my problems are like gone now like they're all
19:36all gone and i'm feeling so much better
19:38hello hello my boys
19:46orson are you eating chili
19:50wow it smells good
19:51orson was just saying how much better he feels
19:54also he joined the orchestra at school
19:56hey that's great
19:58wow orson how much better
20:00look basically all the way better it's great
20:03oh my gosh antibiotics are so you know what i mean they just work
20:09no no they do not they definitely didn't
20:12okay they didn't work
20:13no they were awful
20:16okay well clearly evidence they helped
20:24actually i stopped taking them a while ago
20:31why
20:36two thousand dollars and right when we need every penny
20:40i know
20:40and behind my back
20:41he's my son
20:43yeah and he's crawling up from some male nurturing
20:45and he's under my roof
20:46what am i supposed to do joanne
20:47not your roof gary
20:48rented roof
20:50that is not the point
20:56it's lily
20:59duncan
21:02i know you're in there the hummer's in the driveway
21:13i can hear the music
21:26duncan
21:27this has been very hard for me too
21:31we are married
21:32i don't care if you hate me you have to talk to me till one of us dies
21:36that's the deal
21:37otherwise
21:39what good are we
21:42duncan
21:47bastard
21:48bastard
22:17SONG PLAYS
22:25Duncan!
22:30Duncan!
22:38Duncan!
22:42What the hell?
22:50What the hell?
22:54What the hell?
23:07I'm not sure if I'm going to add it.
23:14It's a little salt and salt.
23:17I think it's like a little salt.
23:17I'm going to add it.
23:18It's like a little salt.
23:19I don't want to add salt.
23:19I want to add salt.
24:36Too many moons, buddy!
24:39I can't do physical contact.
24:40What?
24:41Uh, dopamine fasting.
24:42Gotta purify.
24:43Dopamine's the last addiction.
24:45Yeah, yeah, yeah.
24:46You gotta keep the neural transmitters high and tight.
24:48Yeah.
24:50We got a lot to talk about.
24:51Yeah, we sure do.
25:01I think you got the right idea here.
25:04You know, take your weddings and live away from it all.
25:06It's just...
25:07Is that why you came?
25:09Yeah.
25:10What do you mean?
25:12You always have an angle.
25:15I needed a break.
25:17With a friend.
25:18Oldest and dearest.
25:21To be honest, I'm a little bummed you're doing this cleanse thing.
25:25I was looking forward to doing some toad licking and frog smoking.
25:29Last time I was here, remember?
25:30You were doing the gamble slept jubilee.
25:33God, you just sold your steak and...
25:35You were feral.
25:37Just...
25:40Wow.
25:41It's sluts.
25:42Plural.
25:43Gamble's slut is an accusation.
25:45Sluts is an invitation.
25:47Well, I left feeling like one.
25:51We gotta be stronger than that now, Duncan.
25:54Societal change perhaps collapses upon us.
25:56It's sooner than you think.
25:57It's sooner than the people who think it's soon think.
26:01Yeah.
26:03Maybe.
26:04Yeah.
26:05There used to be men who lit the street lamps.
26:08Every night, walking around the cobblestones with a big pole of fire.
26:12You'd even know the guy.
26:13Evening, Doug.
26:14Lighting the lamps?
26:15You betcha, friend.
26:17What would we do without you?
26:20And then, Edison came up with his bright idea and it's...
26:24Whatever happened to Doug?
26:26Dollars to donuts, Doug couldn't hack it in the new frontier.
26:29Maybe Doug found his wife banging the Maytag man and grabbed the third rail of the new
26:33Downtown Express.
26:35Or maybe Doug picked up his old lighting pole and started smashing his neighbors' windows,
26:39screaming about a revolution that his great-grandkids will finish any day now when they get replaced
26:44by AI bots.
26:46Either way, men like you and me, we gotta duck when shit fucks the fan.
26:53Get an island, get some guns, and go long on guillotines.
26:59I missed you, man.
27:02Even if you don't have the bone mass, these jaw exercises will open up the sutures of your
27:06skull.
27:06Now, obviously, the decadent females of the West are too busy riding the cock carousel to
27:11take a chance on a beta with a negative canthel tilt, but that's where I go in.
27:14What the hell are you watching?
27:17Was that some fascist incel shit?
27:22Orson, who is sending you videos about cocks and skull tilts?
27:27Pantel tilt is eyes, I think, and it's not fascist to know anatomy.
27:32Yes, it is.
27:33That's their whole thing.
27:35Okay, look, I came to invite you.
27:41Gary and I are going to do a quick day trip to the country, and now I think, yeah, no,
27:44not an invitation.
27:46Mandatory.
27:47We are going to go pick some apples or something, okay?
27:51And that's all there is to it.
27:53Why can't you just watch video games?
27:59Ugh, can you not touch me, please?
28:05I'm going in late.
28:08Didn't sleep a wink.
28:09Xander's behaving strangely.
28:11He generated a couch to hide behind.
28:13I just, Nana and that article, everyone at Cupertino thinks it was me, and I'm just covering
28:19my arse.
28:20Wasn't it you?
28:23Yes, but can you take the goggles off, please?
28:27I need a sympathetic ear right now.
28:37My motives were to clear the air to help Cupertino, but fat chance anyone gives me an ounce
28:42of bloody credit.
28:42Like, I just can't win.
28:44I'm sorry.
28:45No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
28:47What's wrong?
28:48I'm sorry.
28:49I'm sorry.
28:49I'm sorry.
28:49Don't talk to the robot.
28:51Martin, I'm your wife.
28:52I'm speaking to you.
28:54I think it's you.
28:55Maybe your voice.
28:57I broke the tablet.
28:58I really don't need this right now, Martin.
28:59My fault.
29:00Xander.
29:00Not hers.
29:01Not hers.
29:02Did you have an accident?
29:03I'm sorry.
29:04I'm bad.
29:04I'll clean it.
29:05I think you should go.
29:06How could he wee himself, Martin?
29:09He's pixels.
29:10Just ducks.
29:11Can you leave, please?
29:12Stupid ducks.
29:12Right.
29:12Do you care about the Tamagotchi's feedings, but no.
29:14Goddammit, leave!
29:15Go to work!
29:16And leave me to mine!
29:24I'm not terribly surprised that isn't caught off.
29:27This keeps the vampires away.
29:30I don't know, it's a growing on reaction.
29:31Hmm?
29:35Some people just have very punchable faces.
29:39Duncan Park has a soul like that.
29:41I just...
29:42I just want to crush him.
29:44I do.
29:47Is that gay?
29:49Aren't you gay?
29:51I mean, the way he took down Orlando Lee with that big blue dolphin dick.
29:55Whack!
29:56Whack!
29:58Hey, he just doesn't quit, that guy.
30:00He just doesn't quit.
30:01He just keeps coming back.
30:04Until he ran away.
30:05Leave me with this.
30:07This nugget.
30:08This prophecy.
30:10Did you see where Smote rehired Orlando Lee?
30:13Just as Duncan foretold.
30:15How much money have we made off that?
30:17After the last shortened bump, it's up 21 million and change.
30:22Want to hire him back?
30:24Maybe I make him employee this time.
30:26Paychecks, smaller office.
30:27Humble him.
30:29Dominate.
30:29A guy like that, he would never do that.
30:31Ever.
30:32I would have to make him partner.
30:34I just want to crush him.
30:36But I can't crush him if I can't find him.
30:38Carl, you have other holdings that you haven't even paid any attention to.
30:41Yeah, I know that.
30:42It's because I'm allergic to tedium, Stan.
30:44Obviously, you're not.
30:45Mr. Bartle?
30:46Yes!
30:47Hi.
30:47Hi.
30:48So, I accessed the carrier portal and found a signal location.
30:51The satellite handshake gave him away.
30:53English pronoun.
30:56Please.
30:57Did you find him?
30:58Duncan was actually going to double my stock options at the next performance review.
31:02So, care to review my performance?
31:07Well, aren't you the little operator.
31:10Have you ever met our CFO, Gabe?
31:37Hello?
31:39Hello?
31:48Where are you?
31:50The wilderness.
31:52If I can't see the world, the world can't see me, right?
31:54That's how it works.
31:56Sorry about the stock and everything.
31:58No, no.
31:59I'm done, Nush.
32:00Can't go back.
32:02I don't want to go back.
32:03Oh, come on.
32:04It's just a bit of bad press.
32:06I'd rather have anything happen to me.
32:08I'd rather have a deepfake of me French kissing my own mother than be passed around.
32:12I bet Bardoff already has a short list of replacement CEOs.
32:16I would know.
32:17If you recall, I resigned from the board.
32:20What?
32:22What?
32:23When?
32:23I sent you a registered letter, which you signed.
32:26I need you on the board.
32:28I need that vote.
32:29You said I have Gabe's.
32:30No, even with Gabe's, Bardoff and I are deadlocked, and then he'll find a way to tilt the balance.
32:35I, I, why the hell would you resign?
32:38I asked you to do one thing for me, and you never did.
32:41You said you'd call Nenna, clear my name, then you had sex with me, and you never called her.
32:46So I called her.
32:47I called her.
32:48You?
32:52You did this?
32:56You stabbed me in the back of my heart?
32:59Sorry, but when it's your job on the line, it's a crisis of infinite magnitude.
33:03But when it's mine, you can't be arsed.
33:06No, that's not.
33:07Why would you?
33:08Goodbye, donkey.
33:09No.
33:10No.
33:11No, I knew.
33:13God.
33:15Oh, God, no!
33:17Oh!
33:27I mean, do you think we could actually do this?
33:30I mean, we could afford it.
33:32Yeah, I mean, I always wanted to watch the sunrise over fields of wildflowers.
33:37It just, we thought it would be from the veranda of our architecturally significant second home.
33:43Yeah.
33:45Yeah.
33:46Living in the bubble, right?
33:49Well, I love it.
33:50You do?
33:51Mm-hmm.
33:52I love that it was your idea.
33:54And, um, I hate the people in Palo Alto.
33:58I do, I hate them.
33:59I know everybody deserves therapy, but that has to apply to the folks that live out here, too.
34:04Right?
34:05Whoever they are.
34:05It's less money for us, maybe.
34:08So we're not surrounded by world beaters.
34:09You know, as far as neighbors and friends go, the world beaters suck.
34:15And so maybe we just make peace with enough.
34:26Hey, Orson.
34:28Orson.
34:29Talk to your mom.
34:30She might have some news.
34:32Come here, buddy.
34:36What?
34:39What's the news?
34:40News?
34:41Uh, well, Gary and I are talking about, you know, nothing set in stone.
34:46But, uh, possibly to move here.
34:54When?
34:55I suppose soon.
34:56Uh, real soon.
34:59You...
34:59I just started settling in and you want to send me to live on a farm?
35:03I can finally freaking eat like a normal person and you won't pay for my medicine.
35:08Maybe you like me better, sick and feeble.
35:10What?
35:11How could you possibly think that?
35:13I know you did something bad.
35:16If you want to run away from whatever shit you pulled, that's fine.
35:19But you're not going to cuck me into living in fucking Garlic Town.
35:23I shouldn't make you give me the $2,000.
35:25And if I were a fascist, trust me, I would.
35:27But I don't need you, you selfish...
35:30woman.
35:39Hey.
35:40Are we ready to pick some apples?
35:42No.
35:43I'm back.
35:57Hey, Gabe.
35:59Did I see you letting the sun shine where it don't normally?
36:03No, it's called perineum sunning.
36:05It increases testosterone production, root chakra optimization, and a...
36:08I'm going to try it.
36:09I'm going to try it.
36:10It's a great idea.
36:11You have so many great ideas.
36:13Here's mine.
36:14What if it's going to try to fire me?
36:16We go back to HQ, right?
36:18We instigate the staff to walk out.
36:20We ride in.
36:21We rile them up.
36:22A proper uprising.
36:23Ga-di-ca!
36:24Ga-di-ca!
36:25And then we say to Bard up,
36:27hey, hey, you're going to fire me?
36:28You're going to have to fire everyone!
36:31Your one move.
36:33Talking people into doing shit that's not good for anyone but you.
36:36This is why you came, right?
36:37Ensure my loyalty?
36:39Possibly your perspective while living here on a friggin' island
36:41has skewed you a little towards the paranoid.
36:44I'm just saying, there used to be gamble sluts in bikinis up there.
36:47Now there are arms guards.
36:49That's not progress, Gabe.
36:51This is what you did to Hamish.
36:52You would stroke his ego and then steal his confidence over and over and over.
36:57Yeah, you motivate.
36:58You criticize.
36:59It's called leadership.
37:00I'm sorry, someone had to be the McCartney in the band.
37:02Who else was going to do it?
37:04I mean, Hamish?
37:06You?
37:06You want to take the reins?
37:08Go swing your sunkissed balls around?
37:10Show everyone that your root chakra is optimized?
37:12I would love, I'd love to see you try.
37:15It's too late now.
37:15Well, not for me.
37:17Not for me.
37:19Call me a helicopter.
37:21I'm going to go save what is ours.
37:23Oh, okay.
37:24So you're looking out for me, too?
37:25Yes!
37:26Yes!
37:26Okay, well then tell me.
37:28Why has my dearest, closest friend still not mentioned the predictive algo he's sitting on?
37:32Wait.
37:34How?
37:37Did you talk to Bordoff?
37:53No, no, no.
37:54I don't want to hear shit about betrayal.
37:56That's not the narrative here.
37:57You abandoned me.
37:59Oh, Gabe.
38:01Gabe, what did you do?
38:07Carl!
38:08Carl!
38:08And I thought I was the one stalking you the whole time.
38:13I'm here for you.
38:14Came to speak to Gabe Choi.
38:16Carl.
38:16Oh, you'll touch him?
38:17This is my ex-host, Stan Dibbs.
38:19Hey, Stan.
38:19How you doing?
38:20What is that?
38:21What is that?
38:22A Tinder offer.
38:2415% above market for Gabe's voting shares.
38:28No, hey, hey, hey.
38:29No, no, no, no.
38:30No, I never wanted to be CFO.
38:32I took the job for Hamish.
38:33He was dead, I asked you, and you never even did the job.
38:36Okay, well, I'm done.
38:36Okay, I'm out.
38:37For what it's worth, I'm giving some of this money to Francis and James.
38:40I think they're still in Wichita.
38:41Who is Francis and James?
38:44Hamish's parents, asshole.
38:46I will fix this.
38:47I will make you whole, okay?
38:49But wait.
38:50Wait, like with Fafa?
38:52No, Hamish wanted to wait, not me.
38:54No, you thought it was a movement, and it was a startup.
38:56And you talked Hamish out of selling.
38:58We could have all been billionaires.
39:00It practically killed him.
39:01Who knows?
39:02Maybe it did.
39:03I've got to admit it, Stan.
39:05Watching this man eat shit may be the only justice this world has to offer.
39:08You're a twisted prick, aren't you?
39:10You could have faxed that agreement here.
39:12Why are you here?
39:15It is because you wanted to see me, isn't it?
39:17Always about him.
39:18It is.
39:18What do you want to know?
39:19What do you want to know?
39:20How I predicted Orlando?
39:21No.
39:22I understand.
39:23If I was that lucky, I would want people to think I was a genius, too.
39:26It wasn't luck.
39:27Yeah, I'm not.
39:28It wasn't.
39:28It wasn't the word irrevocable ever.
39:29So it wasn't algo.
39:31Did Hamish write it?
39:32We can change that.
39:33Binding, maybe?
39:34Or that pink-haired whatnot.
39:35Did she come up with it?
39:37It was an oracle.
39:38I had an oracle.
39:39Oh, shit.
39:41Bullshit.
39:41And I don't care, really.
39:42I don't.
39:43Girl, I would have told you everything.
39:46All you had to do was be my partner.
39:48But no.
39:49No, you're a hungry, hungry hippo, and you had to snap it all up, but you didn't think
39:53it all the way through.
39:54Nope.
39:55Because I walked.
39:56And now, you've got to shit with no captain.
39:59And I think you like me a little.
40:01I do.
40:01You like my pitch.
40:04Ten million data points on every person from birth.
40:07But then under my leadership, Nodin could have made it to 20 million.
40:10And at that point, you're not predicting behavior.
40:12You're steering it.
40:13That's why you wanted my company.
40:15You wanted to feel like God with a hard-on, didn't you?
40:18What's the fee sense?
40:18If it weren't for that article, the source of which was an ex-special friend of mine
40:25that I neglected.
40:26Yeah, so you reap.
40:28You sow.
40:30Was it true?
40:32Yeah, it was.
40:34So what?
40:34If that hit piece didn't come out, if I had my company, you would be on a yacht right now.
40:41Your board seat would be secure.
40:42Or if the stock would be 50 points higher, my best friend wouldn't be backstabbing me
40:47right now.
40:48Best friends.
40:49Only in the K-hole.
40:50Gabe, please tell me you're going to have a lawyer look at that.
40:53Oh, gee, thank you.
40:54What, you think I'm a dingus?
40:55Oh, and Carl, soon to be none of my business, but you do not want this guy running your company.
40:59No, don't worry.
40:59This man gets nothing.
41:00Why?
41:01Why?
41:02Because you're selfish.
41:04And because you ruined my breakfast.
41:05He is selfish, and he's not a good guy.
41:07Says the man who made money off incels betting on witch girl at the orgy gets gangbanged.
41:12Really?
41:13And you?
41:14Spam?
41:15Fucking spam.
41:17I bet right now there is a Nigerian prince just cutting you a royalty check.
41:21How much are you worth, son?
41:22Oh, I...
41:26Amos and I were just trying to build a community, and I'm the bad guy?
41:31People exchanged candles and kayaks and shit, and then people fell in love on Fa-Fa.
41:37Never heard of it.
41:38Bullshit.
41:39Bullshit.
41:40You don't stop thinking about me.
41:42You came here to find a way to lure me back.
41:45But the problem is, you don't know how to lure.
41:48Only destroy.
41:52God.
41:54I'm not going to sit around for this circle, jerk.
41:57God.
41:58And Carl, take me to your helicopter.
42:00Oh, Gabe.
42:01Hey, thanks for the hospitality.
42:02Look.
42:03Get the fuck off me.
42:04Yeah.
42:06In our own time, eventually.
42:07Hey.
42:08Hey.
42:08Hey, hey.
42:09Turn it on.
42:10Turn it on.
42:13Yeah.
42:13He said it was fine.
42:14He said you can take the chopper, and it's fine.
42:16Gabe, you have a chopper we can borrow?
42:18Of course.
42:21And who is his special friend?
42:32What if I pay you back?
42:34I'll get a job.
42:34I promise.
42:36But that stuff, without it, I'll just go back to the way I was.
42:42And I cannot do that.
42:43So please.
42:44I get it.
42:45I get it.
42:47I had, when I was your age, zits, migraines, and man boobs.
42:53I mean, the man boobs made me come back a little bit.
42:56Um, no.
42:58But we do need to respect your mom on this.
43:00She said no.
43:01And also, I can't really recommend something unregulated from somebody who spells science
43:06for the why.
43:07We can do better.
43:09But I promise you, if insurance covers it, I'll help you.
43:25I spent an hour this morning meditating on the terrors that teens face.
43:31I mean, even if you make it through high school without a shooting, then what?
43:35Right?
43:35Like, AI, it is a poison weed that is choking your generation.
43:39I mean, there's not an image or a sound you can trust in the whole world.
43:43In the earth, it's on fire.
43:45I mean, it's no wonder that you feel like someone is clear-cutting your gut bio.
43:49Right?
43:51Oh!
43:52Approved.
43:53Oh, thank you.
43:58Ah, shit.
44:01It's your old friend.
44:02Don't want to burst in uninvited.
44:04You know, respect for boundaries.
44:05Hello.
44:06Hey, listen.
44:07I have a treat for you.
44:11Hear me out.
44:11It's been very...
44:12Hey!
44:13Whoa!
44:13Whoa!
44:14Whoa!
44:14Whoa!
44:15Put that down!
44:16Leave, Duncan.
44:17Breaking and entering again?
44:19Come on, just stop.
44:19You're leaving now.
44:21Five-minute shoes.
44:21Five-minute shoes, okay?
44:23I'll be...
44:23Come on, Jojo.
44:25Our kids go to school together.
44:26I'm not putting it down until you get out.
44:28Really?
44:29Come on!
44:29You're not going to shoot me, Jojo!
44:31You're going to shoot me?
44:32I got fired!
44:34I did.
44:34I lost my company.
44:35I lost my friends.
44:36All you can do is hurt my physical form.
44:38The rest is gone.
44:39So go!
44:48I'm going to get it all back.
44:53I have been on a journey.
44:58I really have been.
44:59Listen, did you read about me?
45:00You did.
45:01Of course you did.
45:02Of course you did.
45:03I went looking for truth.
45:09And all signs point to you.
45:11Duncan.
45:11No.
45:12No.
45:13Please, Joanne.
45:14Don't be...
45:14Listen, listen.
45:16You are my oracle.
45:17And I have an offering.
45:281.2 million dollars?
45:30Yeah.
45:30Hey, Mish.
45:31Remember him?
45:32My old partner, you know?
45:33Anyway, he left a little money for my daughter's college fund.
45:37Sweet, right?
45:37So I took that and used it to invest in your smoke thing.
45:41And now it's a million and change.
45:43And it's yours.
45:45It's...
45:46What?
45:48It's yours.
45:49Well, I did take half of it.
45:51I do have to pay Jamie back.
45:52But the rest of it, it is yours.
45:53You deserve it.
45:55It's bulletproof, VPNed, invisible on the dark web.
45:58No one can hear you, prophet.
46:00No.
46:00Duncan, I...
46:03I can't take your money.
46:05I don't want it.
46:06You earned it.
46:07You did.
46:08You have a gift.
46:09You really do.
46:11It went down like you said.
46:12Orlando, they turfed him.
46:14Stock went up.
46:15Stock went down.
46:15And they brought him back.
46:16It was insider trading.
46:18Orlando's closest advisor was my patient.
46:21Anybody with even a little insight who had the same information I had could have figured
46:25it out too.
46:26But they didn't.
46:27And like, even if they did, genius is not about figuring out the solution.
46:31It's about being unhinged enough to do something outrageous with it.
46:35That's you.
46:36You did that.
46:36And you, you deserve to be rewarded.
46:39You did it.
46:41This, this has been my mistake.
46:43From the very beginning.
46:44I mean, you give, and you give, and all I do, I do is take.
46:50That's, that's my bad.
46:52I should never have blackmailed you.
46:55Never.
46:56It should have always been a bribe.
46:59Will you be my bribe?
47:19Shoot straight, you bastards.
47:23Karl Bardoff.
47:25Thanks for coming in.
47:26And you should go back to terror, obviously.
47:29I've heard so much about you.
47:31Mostly appalling, of course.
47:33Oh, from Big Tim.
47:34He's a good man, if you're in the market for bullshit and a pair of all birds.
47:40Why don't you tell me what I'm doing here?
47:42Well, you know the CFO, former CFO.
47:46What's his name?
47:47Gabe?
47:48Unfortunately.
47:49He sold me his shares, and there it is.
47:51It's mine.
47:53So, just trying to think what to do with this place.
47:58And knowing you're on the board?
48:00I'm not anymore.
48:02No, I read your letter.
48:03You made some good points.
48:04I identified the rot.
48:05You read it?
48:07Yeah, I was just sitting on Duncan's desk.
48:09You're a smart cookie.
48:10I'd hate to see what Tim has you doing.
48:13His laundry?
48:15Chief ethicist.
48:18Ethicist Barbie.
48:20Fancy title and all the power of an overpaid schoolmarm, too.
48:24What a waste.
48:27How would you like to be interim CEO?
48:32You know the company?
48:33You're not a wrecking ball?
48:34You're trying to do something?
48:37Plus, Tim would hate it.
48:41Duncan Park would, too, I feel sure.
48:44Uh, well, I'm flattered.
48:48But, I'd have to take a leave of absence from Cupertino and it could derail my career.
48:53Or you could bet on yourself.
48:57Well, data isn't my area of expertise.
49:00I mean, I have opinions.
49:02Strong ones.
49:05Okay, let me ask you.
49:08Could you imagine using your algo to spot people in crisis, communities in need, and actually help them?
49:16Well, that sounds like some of the things we talked about when we first started making the sausage, yes.
49:21But you never did.
49:24And you never will.
49:25Profit Uber Alice.
49:29Look, there are about 20 dudes in the valley that make as much or more than me.
49:33And we all come to the same fork in the room.
49:36Do we want humanitarian legacy or do we want planetary reach?
49:40Do we want to save the world or control it?
49:44Heal or conquer?
49:45We'll both have their charms, but, um, I will tell you this.
49:50Most of us go Dr. Evil.
49:54I used to love the valley.
49:57But I hate what it's become.
49:58I hate it.
49:59We've broken and disrupted everything, and now there's nothing else to break.
50:04And now they want to upload consciousness so guys like me can live forever, disrupting death.
50:08Well, fuck you.
50:10Death disrupts us.
50:12Our limited time is why we try hard to do anything worthwhile.
50:16There's a shelf life.
50:18Then it's over.
50:18Blue screen.
50:19Done.
50:22So, convince me, Anushka.
50:24Prove to me that the best way for me to spend my money and the rest of the time that
50:30I have left
50:31is to build a legacy of good.
50:41It's been over a week.
50:45You know, not a missing person, just an absent husband and father.
50:49He just walked out.
50:53Well, I'm not completely without fault myself, so.
50:56So, yes, more than he knows, and I want to keep it that way.
51:04It's not about the money.
51:06That said, if it comes to it, I will want the house.
51:16Where the hell have you been?
51:26I'm so sorry.
51:27Where were you?
51:27Were you with her?
51:28Sorry.
51:29No, no, no.
51:30God, no.
51:31Were you with someone else?
51:32Oh, I was all alone.
51:34All alone.
51:36Except you were there.
51:39You were there, and Jamie.
51:54You were my best friend.
51:57You always were.
52:00And you're the only one I can trust against these jackals.
52:04I need you.
52:06I need you standing behind me, next to me, in front of me, wherever, wherever it's safest for me.
52:27Baby?
52:28Baby?
52:28Yeah.
52:28Yes, baby.
52:29Yes, baby.
52:30I'm sorry.
52:31No, I'm sorry.
52:32I am sorry.
52:34I want a divorce.
52:44Cut them to ribbons, boys.
52:49In 80, we can, um, try to fix things.
52:52I can't have another abusive situation in my house.
52:56We're gonna be okay.
52:59Privacy has value.
53:02An un-mined motherlode of value.
53:06I'm a bad man.
53:13You should see the other guy.
53:15No, really.
53:18Can you give me some lift?
53:22In episode five, we really see the manifestation of Duncan's fear of humiliation that he states at the very beginning
53:29of the show.
53:30What's our stock at now, huh?
53:32What's the price?
53:32Down 10%.
53:3320.7%.
53:34But Duncan only owns 20.
53:37Who's Duncan?
53:40We see that feeling of wanting to crawl away from the situation as quickly as possible.
53:47Okay, bye.
53:49Okay.
53:50Bye.
53:58We know that he has this dumb house, a place where he can go, where there is no internet, there's
54:03no Wi-Fi.
54:04And I've always imagined him getting there and the first five minutes being, huh, I can relax here.
54:13What's so wrong with the internet?
54:14It made us a lot of money.
54:16It made us a lot, a lot of money.
54:18Again and again, he tries to relax into being on some kind of sabbatical from his life.
54:25And again and again, it doesn't work.
54:30We learn also in this episode when Lily comes to the dumb house.
54:36Duncan!
54:37This relationship between Lily and Hamish was much more complicated and I think it's safe to say romantic.
54:45And perhaps was behind Hamish's choices in the end.
54:51There's a picture in the dumb house.
54:52One of them is Duncan and his struggles are known to us.
54:55The other one is Hamish who decided to end his life.
54:58And the other one is Gabe, who decided to isolate himself entirely from the world and live on an island,
55:04take his winnings, and go be alone.
55:07Gabe was played brilliantly by Randall Park.
55:10Too many boons, buddy!
55:12I can't do physical contact.
55:14What?
55:15Uh, dopamine fasting, gotta purify.
55:16This is all very much based on real-life scenarios with some of these guys at this level of wealth.
55:25You really haven't quite made your nut until you've got a compound you can escape to when the shit hits
55:31the fan.
55:32Did you talk to Bardolph?
55:33Now!
55:38Duncan goes there, I think genuinely, to try to have a retreat from the reality that he left behind with
55:46Bardolph.
55:47But also, he's got an agenda and Gabe can spot it immediately.
55:51What is that?
55:51A Tinder offer.
55:5215% web market.
55:55For Gabe's voting chairs?
55:56No, no, no, no, no, it's just, you can't do that.
55:58No, no, I never wanted to be CFO, I took the job for Hamish.
56:01You are a twisted prick, you know that?
56:06Orson was just saying how much better he feels.
56:09Antibiotics are so, you know what I mean?
56:11Actually, I stopped taking them a while ago, so.
56:14I think in episode five, a subtitle could be The Kids Are Not All Right.
56:19Orson is starting to take medicine that's changing his behavior, mysterious proprietary blend from the nutritionist.
56:26You see that heartbreaking scene between Jameson and Duncan, where she so wants him to be a better dad, and
56:34he's just not capable of it.
56:36And you see Xander trying to recover from essentially virtual, but as far as Xander is concerned, physical abuse at
56:43the hands of his stepmother.
56:44I'm sorry, I'm bad. I'll clean it.
56:46How could he wee himself, Martin? He's pixels!
56:50Leave! Go to work! And leave me to mine!
56:53Anoushka is also Tessa's stepmother.
56:56And so, The Kids Are Not All Right is a really interesting way to look at not just this episode,
57:02but I think overall in this show, the stakes are the kids.
57:06They are the ones who are the most targeted in terms of the social media stuff.
57:12Also, do these kids have in them, and even Xander in this sense, the desire and ability to make things
57:19better?
57:20And do they have a voice in the future?
57:24Nothing's your fault. Let's get to the bottom of this.
57:27There is no bottom, Martin. You can always go lower.
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